AN HONEST DOCTOR ADVISED PE-RU-NA. F,r<*atable Esperiuientin*. How the Dirt Files at Paaama. T Tn the entire realm of scientific In­ Lieuteunnt-Colouel George Geothals, vestigation there is nothing more inter­ chairman ssoonniore—-How do you think battle of Monmouth. ciples are acknowledged by all com­ "He tells me their cook doesn't like petent liorseshoers, namely, tlie heel utility. she’d like a son-in-law? “It was nothing,” she said. “I merely me.”—Philadelphia Press. Keep« Chicken« at Home. should never tie cut except to remove Cleverton (who lias hired a taxa- wanted to show that my other name isn't An Iowa man has designed an anti ­ a ragged point. The same is true of meter cab to propose In)—Say “yes,” Coddle.” Little Mrs. Hunter had heard so For, verily, true bravery, unlike genius, many Jokes about the brides who the frog, which Is an elastic cushion, nytng chicken-wing attachment having darling? Miss Calumet—Give me time vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. in view to prevent the annoyance ami intended to reduce the impact of a sud ­ to think. Cleverton — Heavens! But couldn't market successfully that she Didn't Like tlie Phraae. damages Incident not in here! Consider tlie expense!— made up her mind that the first re­ den shock to the foot. The butteris “Charlie, dear,” said young Mrs. Tor- to chickens scratch­ Life. quest she made of the market man Is an instrument that may do an im­ ing in your neigh­ would show her to be a sophisticated mense amount of damage in the hands The Lady (to hastily-retreating bur­ kins, “«lid you say this til» on the race« bor's garden. The glar)—Pardon me, lint won't you please was a 'lead pipe?’” housewife. "Send me, please,” she of an Incapable operator. Much mis­ "Yes.” device is attached wait till my husband sees you? I told said, “two French chops and one hun­ chief is done by it every day. “Well. I don't pretend to expert When the toe is too long and projects to the chicken's him there was some one in tlie house, dred green peas.”—Judge. tieyond the hoof, it causes stumbling wing. It is made and he said “Rubbish!”—Harper’s Ba­ knowledge. But lead pipe somehow sug­ surer ora.p, gests plumbers. And plumbers are al­ and it should be shortened. A hot iron of parallel pieces zar. • “One objection to your poem,” said th« ways expensive.”-—Washington Star. should never be applied to the foot to St. Helen’s Hall, Portland, Or. of wire bent into editor, glancing through the manuscript, Dick—You look worried, old fellow. Resident end Day School for Girl«. tlie form of an el- Wick—I have cause for worry. Dick “is that Whittier once wrote a poem em­ ascertain its evenness, as many black­ Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Boothing Catalogue on Request. smiths do merely to save time, when bow, witii a hook at the bend. the b.-s' remedy to use for their ell idx u bodying substantially the same ideas,” —What's tlie trouble? Wick -My wife Syrup luring the teething per.od. “I)o you mean to say, sir," thundered they know it is not right. A seared To apply the attachment to a chick says if I don't accompany her to tlie the six-foot caller, “that I------ ” surface between the hoof and the shoe en's wing It is slipped over the wing, Mutual Reluctance. seashore this summer she'll stay at “But you have improved on them, my makes the contact less perfect and the “Here is my seat, madam, but candor and by placing the parallel sides toward home. dear sir,” hastily interposed the editor; shoe necessarily less rigid than it ought compels me to say that I think you are each other the hook can be snapped iu “you have improved on them immensely.” to be. Boy (who lias been naughty and sent as well able to stand as I am.” position and retained by the resiliency “Politeness compels me to say 'Thank The outside of the hoof should not be of tlie wire. The hook will be on the out into the garden to find a switch Can Such Thins. tlet to punish him with)—Oh, mummy, I you, sir.’ ”—Chicago Tribune. “O, Johnny, Johnny!” sighed Mrs rasped more than is necessary to cliiicb inner corner of the wing and will pre­ Lapsling. "You’re so awfully hard ot the nails, as this thins the crust and re­ vent the device from slipping off. The couldn't And a switch anywhere, but London theaters, music halls and con­ shoes. This is the second pair I’ve bought duces the strength of the bearing sur­ chicken will thus be prevented from here's a stone you can throw at me.—• cert halls provide seating accommodation you since we had that equinuptial atom face of the foot. Weakening and decay spreading the wing ns required to fly Punch. for 327,000 people. ••THE SCHOOL OF QUALITY” in March!” Physician—Well, what do you com are sometimes' the result of tills prac­ and thereby unable to get over a fence plain of? Policeman — Sleeplessness, tice. Oil applied to the hoofs occasion ­ Better each year, and larger. We now Presumption. Into the neighbor’s garden. doctor. Physician—At what time do have two floors 6’> x 100 feet. Thorough I’histy—I suppose you think that if you ally during dry weather is beneficial. you go to bed? Policeman—Oh, I don’t had the regulating of the universe you It counts in the I work tells the story. Houten of Corn Cob«. To Tell a llorae’a Age. Tor Infanta and Children. could make some improvements on the end, and we admittedly lead in this re. In some parts of Europe corn cobs menu at night. I mean in daytime, present job, don't you? are used for building purposes. The while I’m on my beat. spect. Get our catalogue, penwork, etc., Kuphs—I don’t know about that, but I She (on her bridal tour)—Oh, Dan, cobs are collected and taken to a fac ­ then judge for yourself as to quality. think I could suggest one change. 1 Bears the tory, where heavy compresses crust I'm so unhappy. Dan—Why. what is should like to have Chings so arranged A. P. ARMSTRONG, LL.B., Principal and mold them into blocks of various tlie matter, darling? She—If I am as Signature of that when a man is having a good time Tenth and Moirison - Portland, Oregoa sizes. Just as bricks are variously much to you as you say. yon can’t be the days would seem to pass slowly in­ sorry your first wife «lied, and that stead of quickly. I'm about to take a molded. These blocks are then bound No. 31-OS A. He Uixler.tood It. P N U vacation.” with wire so as to make them hold to­ makes you too brutal for me to love.— It was Dicky's first day at Sunday EN writing to ailvertlaara plea.e gether. They are then soaked in tar Life. school, and he was telling his mother Í 5 I tyn Groundless Fear. iV mention thin paper. to make them water-tight, and ere Doctor — The room seems cold, Mrs. about it. “I did think," said Cholly Snobberly, “They sung the funniest banquet song I ready for use after tills treatment. Of Hooligan. Have you kept the thermom­ “of going in for politics, but I was At four years old each jaw shows course, they are much lighter than eter at seventy, as I told you? Mrs. ever heard,” he said. Peniiltlea of Fume. a frit id I wouldn’t know Just how to “What was it?" she asked. four permanent teeth, whose tables are bricks, are always dry, and make good Hooligan—Sliure, an’ Oi liov, docthor. "Being the author of one of the 'best twent my inferiors, don’t y’ know.” Com- “‘Hold the Port; Fried Ham sellers’ of tlie year lias its drawbacks,” “Your inferiors?” remarked Sharpe worn to the same level. The dividers houses. This is but one of the very There's th’ devilish thing in a toombler inc!’ ” says a woman writer of popular books. “Oh, you wouldn't be likely to meet are worn upon both of their borders. many ways in which Europe shows a av warrum wuther at this blissid min- State of Ohio, City of Toledo «I. Looked at from the side, the corner greater economy than Amerca does. nut.—Judge. “Frequent requests for contributions of anv of them.” —Philadelphia Press. Lucas County. There is little over there which goes to ‘■'»eth are quite small. Mamma—Good gracious, Georgia 1 Frank J. < heuey riiakes onth that he is senior Hue's books to charity bazaars are a Crash! waste. Even the refuse and garbage What is the matter with Freddie partner of the firm 01 F. J. Cheney A Co., doing tax upon gootl nature -and tlie pocket- business in t lie City of Toledo, County and State The auto leaped from the high, steep of Paris is made to serve a purpose by Jones? Is the child having a tit? aforesaid, No matter how flattering such anil that said firm will pay the sum book. bank. of ONE Iit’NDRED DOLLARS for each and being burned and converted into pow­ Georgle—No, mamma. You know Fred­ Why, haven't you heard th« paneful every case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by i demands may l>e, they are decide« iiy er. expel sive.” She went on to say that die stutters, and we bet lie couldn't say the use of Hall's Catarrh Cure. story? FRANK J. CHENEY. I (The pieces of glass are flying yet.) “altitudinously” before Bobbie ran Sworn to before me aim subscribed in my pres­ should she gratify all tlie persons who Coat of Ferdlng Henn. ence, this 6th day of Deeember A D 1886. wrote to her for copies of her books, It landed on a conservatory! Bulletin No. 115 from the West Vir­ twice around tlie block.—Puck. \ A. W. GLFASON. •—Chicago Tribune. (be'u•, Notary Public. "because they could not afford to buy Towne—Do you believe iu dreams? ginia Experiment Station gives the nail’s Catarrh Cure ¡«taken internally, and first year's record with <‘>00 hens. It Browne—-I used to, but I don’t any acts directly upon the blood and mucoiissur- them," and respond to tlie constant No Recourse. her taees of filesystem, semi fortestinionials free. calls to devote tlie children of gives pictures and descriptions of more. Town«?—Not as superstitious as “Johnnie, I think I hear a thief in F. J. CH EMEY & CO., Toledo,O. brain to charities, it would cost her houses. method of handling, amounts, you were, eh? Brown«?—Oh, it wasn't Sold brail d'uggists, 7’>c. the dark closet beneath the stairs.” Take Hall’s Family Pills for constipation. from $400 to $5«Ml a year, wit bout kinds and cost of feed and egg produc­ a question of superstition. I was iu “I don't doubt it; I have known it counting tlie time lost in wrapping, tion. The cost of feed for the year love with one once, and she Jilted me.— was there for some time.” Too Monotonous. directing and stamping.—New York was Si) cents per head; total cost $1.42 The Catholic Standard and Times. “Telephone for the police!” “Yes," said Slnngey, “I tramped Press. per head. The fowls averaged 113 eggs “What’s the use? You can’t arrest Cyrus—Reuben got bunkoed. Silas— through Switzerland once." Ila. Her Doubt«, each, valued at $2.43, so that each ben ■ gas meter.”—Houston Post. "Come off!” exclaimed Dowter, “You How so? Cyrus—Why, he read the ad­ At four and a half years the nippers returned a net profit of $1.01. “I know there are such tilings ns raith vertisement of a firm that stated if he never did!” No Danger. makers,” sighed Mrs. Chugwater, looking show wear on both edges. The corner “Sure I did; on tlie level.” would send a dollar they'd send him “Whatever you do, dear," wrote the teeth and the hook or canine teeth are through the window at tlie dismal pros­ Iltiw to Fred Out Silage. “That proves you're lying. It's pect outside; “but I don't believe there is some light reading. Silas—And did ardent lover, "don't show my letters to In evidence. Owing to tlie constant contact of the they send it? Cyrus—Yes, they sent simply Impossible to tramp through really any such thing as a rain check. Or, you to any one." air with the top layer of silage it is him two books entitled “The Age of tlie Switzerland on tlie level.”—The Catho­ if there is, there's nobody that knows how Depth of Cyclonea. "Have no fear, dearest," came the necessary to remove a horizontal layer Arc Lamp” and “IIow to Make Can­ lic Standard and Tinies. to use it.” From the study of clouds an official reply, “I'm Just as much 881101111x1 of of the United States Weather Bureau of silage to a depth of not less than dles.” them as you are." one and one-half inches daily to pre­ “John,” she whispered, “there's a And, with that, the engagement be­ concludes that the ordinary cyclones which traverse our country from west vent any from spoiling. If this fact burglar in tlie parlor. He has jtret came a matter of history.—Judge. to east are not more than two or three is kept In mind when building a silo knocked against the piano and hit sev­ miles in depth, although their diameter its diameter can lie made such as to eral keys at once. “1’11 go down,” said is many hundreds of miles. In other make possible tlie feeding of a layer he. “Oh, don't do anything rash!” words, their motion does not affect the of tills depth daily with tlie amount 0» "Rash! Why, I'm going to help him. live stock on hand.—John Michels. upper regions of the atmosphere. You don't aupiioee he can remove tlie Rheumatism is caused by an excess of uric acid in the blood, which is In the case of hurricanes, this au­ ¡tiano from the house without assist­ carried through the circulation to all portions of the system. Every muscle, Distribution of Mitnimala. thority finds that the depth is greater, nerve, bone and joint absorbs the acrid, pain-producing poison, causing Th«» distribution of mammals over ance?”—The Throne. amounting to as much as five or six “I tell you," said one man to an­ aches, inflammation, stiffness and other well known symptoms of the disease. the earth shows many curious features. miles. But higher currents blow direct­ Permanent relief from the pains and discomfort of Rheumatism cannot be North America, Northern Europe an«l other as they emerged from the corri­ expected from the use of liniments, plasters, and other external treatment ly across the cyclonic and anticyclonic Asia have many families in common. dor of a concert hall, “I envy that fel­ which does not reach the blood, where the cause is located. Such measures areas which produce storms and fair Such animals as wolves, foxes, hears, low who was singing.” "Envy him!” give temporary relief, but in order to cure Rheumatism the uric acid and weather at the surface of the earth. echoed tlie other. “Well, if 1 were go­ S. S. S. cures This new theory tends to offset form­ d«»er nn«l moose, beavers, squirrels and ing to envy a singer I'd select some­ inflammatory poison must be expelled from the blooently yet prompt­ ly on the bon els, cleanses flie system ejjectually, assists one in overcoming habitual constipation permanently. To got its beneficial effects buy the genuine. C alifornia Jlo S yhup C o . A CURE FOR • RHEUMATISM S WE WILL give away 1000 PACIFIC COAST BORAX CO., Oakland, Cal.