BA.XDOX JiKCORDKK.
A PRAIRIE DINNER.
Oi.UWcr I ten-iK May lie I)Isp.-nttil
Willi In Preparliur II.
Suppose yon start on a trip across
tin mountains. You haw plenty of
mil'." lut you accidentally left your
cooking utensils behind not a dutch
oven, not a frying pan. not a tin plate,
even a tomato ran. IK) you suppose
for a moment I would sit down ou that
Faek of .lour Mini starve? Not q.iite.
Build a bis lire ami when it gets low
sltow a lot of pwd old spuds under the
nals. If you have fresh meat the way
Is clear for broiling. If not. sliee your
bacon, impale it on a stout switch ami
when your spuils are -lone break them
open Jinl allow the good ohl haeon
grease to drop on them as it broils on
the end of that stick. You wan: eof
fee. Kip the jacket off thai cante a
bring the water to a funnel ,'
ecffee in. and your coffee is ready, Bit
kiw about the bread"; No pan t u ,
the dough in, no article hi whi ! 1
lake the bread. You K ui't like .- h
cakes? All right, .lust tui jour h
las powder carefully in the top
sack, form the Hour int a
i..t
fhMM. our in very liule w : :.
tinw doa't lc Nfr.iHl of getting y
lingers hailed up-mt that I'.cigli r'.-.'
there, ami v. hcti it is the dr-dred
sfsieucy roll it out like a -make. Cm
caae from any old thin::, u.-.-p ibis
uake siutHd piece of d sgh around it
in a bus '"oil. itim it lftro I " e tire i:a
til It is sood and lir v:t. an I you will
lmw liner bread titan grandma ever
made.
If tiie awraee ArirHa prespeetor can't
take rare f himself w! tn he has plen
ty of raw sr;ib U is straase. Mescal in
Tombstone Kpitaph.
A KIND HUSBAND.
Should lie i'M'r. !.rilis. Oppose the
Vi.l-i- Hi- W Ifc
Is I'm- kind I. : 1 a failure?
Thai dej ei.d-. A h:b;md eau scarce
ly show Lis v ife to . much kindness.
But sjUKtiJ!'.. real kindness may bo
gitowtt in o; -ins Iter wishes. If the
ittwb-ttul lias any mind of his own he
ffcitsi v it. lie need not be mean in
his -if.-itio:i nor arrogant nor lyran-ai'-al.
lb' should be reasonable at all
lime mid di.-p--ed to lustily resard
the -h-1 wishes of his wife even
though lie. wishes iv.-y seem to him
M I whimsical or captielous. Hut- -
K":t !isss does n t require subservi
ency or entire and instant surrender
of opinion, indeed, it is easy to see
how -ueh surrender might lead a wife
la Jht husband. I le who fetelies
alid .r;ies like a Kindle is likely to be
etfuslclere! a -khuHc.
Voioe! admire strensth in a man.
This? sirens: b need mt necessarily
be physical, though that is desirable.
Women love streasth of character in a
man. And--
Is it not so. ladies? When a woman
coaxes a strons man to her point of
view lty strenuous endeavor, does she
wot' rosard it as merit ;o have intlu
ence! this bis. strong beins? If she
train liw own way at once and at all
times she has achieved notions, and
there fc no rej. ileitis In her heart.
Certainly a man should be kind to
his wife always kind. Kut he need
noi he aa automaton or an echo or a
Ilfarthiac.
Is it not so. ladies? Albany Titnes
L'ntoo. Admitted the Lie.
CMHerniuir Kins William IV. of Kas
laacl the folk'.vius story was told, the
Ooume- of F::aft"ord beias responsible
for it: "The kins wa at dinner. Next
id Uiiu was a titled v.ouian whom he
rae entertain ins witli some extraordl
aary aaecdotes. which the hnly found
ii fmpJfJitde to lK:ieve were true. She
therefore anwerei. 'Oh. sir. I hes your
jiardoa. but I really do not think that
can be true. To her surprise be in
Siantlr replied. 'You are ipiite risht.
marm. there !s not a word of truth in
it. It is a lie. mam, a He. In fact,
marin. we all lie: we aa"t help It. We
had it from our mother:' This." eon
eJuds the .uMess of Strafford, "was
the bissst l".e of all. for (ncn 'bar
lotto was a very truthful person, never
stvofl to lyiiis."
Stories of the Crnvc (HkU'ti.
(Grimly humorous is the tale of the
sravedlsser who complained that he
did not sot constant work.
"Itut, Ceorse." said the minister, "if
yow were to U constantly employl in
th" duties of :h otHei you wow hi soon
bury the whole parish."
. 'That micht be. sir. but boo am I to
koe a wife and family unless I set
rcsular work'.- 'JVed. sir. I ha vena
htiried a U-evin' soul for the last six
weeks."
Harder still was, the case of another
sxavedlsser who was asketl to reduce
ltis foe for dissias a srave because,
"inltifl ye. James, sdie was an auld wo
man ami was sair spent." Chlcaso
TrHmae,
Slam.
The worth thins that can happen to
n man in Slam is to s't Into debt, from
which there i-: ncier any escape, owins
to the exorbitant interest chnrsed.
Once hi debt there Is no appeal, tuo
debtor lieins stripptl of his clothes and
cmp-Ilel to work In fetters, sencra.ly
for the rest of his life, to pay the inter-
est.
sivc
Drunkards are not permitted to
evidence In the law courts of
Shun. The r.uddhist priests, clad in
yellow- robes, are to be seen every
where In Ranskok. and It isptlte com
mon for youns men to enter the priest
liood. which affords them an easy and
luxurious existence, owins to the lib
erality of the populace toward any one
sanctioned to the service of I'.uddha.
Anil -She llelieveii II.
"Henry." said his wife, "what dc
you need to take so many bottles alon;
for when you're only solas Hshins?"
"So we can have somethins to cork
up messascs in and throw overboard
dear." he replied, "if anylhins should
happen to the boat."
"Oh. J. r.oe. Well, do be careful. lieu
ry. I uhalIbo awfully uneasy." Chi
cago Tribune.
Me Sulivlilfil.
riusband- 1 id vmi i ver notice, mv
dear, that : loud talker i generally an
isnorant person? Wife Well, yon
needn't talk so ioud. I'm not deaf.
POLLY LARKIHl
Did you ever hear of a "Sit Still
Club'."' The sentlemeii in one of our
thrivins Kastcrn cities lmve ju-t organ
ized a "Sit Still Club," and the inem
beivbip is open to every desree in life -hish
ami low, rich and poor, may be
lonj; tothisclub, and thercan- no initia
tion fci's, no dues, no charity fund to
.-ubscribe to and no benefits in fact,
noihins to mar the beautiful .-civility of
the members of the "Sit Still Club."
The only condition is that the a.-pirant
to thi new society is that every man
liiu-t keep hi. Miit in thestrect cars re-sardks.-
of the fair sex, and if the car
is packed and jammed with women
standins and holding mi to the strap?,
that i none of their buiue they will
to a man it ?till ami not -urivnder
their seats. They bring forward the
plea that in no other way will they be
able to make the -t reet car companies
come to time ami furuih enough M-aln
for the trawling community, and by
the organization of such a club the
women will become de.-pi rate and ap
peal to the Legislature to make a law
requiring street car companies to fur-ni.-h
cars with sullieient -eating capac
ity for the much abused public, who
pay their fares from day today with
the expectation of getting a seat, and
then havetostand, clinging to the.-traps
all the way home.
Pdess their hearts-, they are away be
hind the limes if they think they are
the originators of the "Sit Still Club,"
for the San Kraiiei.-co men haw long
since belonged to-uch a club, although
they do not publicly admit it. It is a
kind of secret fraternalization with
them, so far as letting the outside world
know of it.- existence. As a rule, too,
the more figure-:i man can write after
his name, the higher the degree in the
"Sit StillClub." When they reach the
lushest degree, no woman on earth
would appeal to him enough to cause
him to surrender his seat: neither does
he like to be crowded, so he will spread
out enough over the seat to accommo
date at least three people of ordinary
-ie. Some of the passengers will look
daggers at him, but he is oblivion- of
all frowns ami little sarcastic remark-,
which he niu-t at time.- be con.-ciou-of.
Along comes the conductor. and seeing
the state of atl'airs, .-ay.-: "Move up,
plea.-e. gentlemen." Kverylody re
sponds except the high degree memlcr
of the "Sit Still Club." Next titnethe
conductor come- through the car he
laysjii- hand on him. and with some
einphasi-. .-ays: "Mow up, plea-e,
there are ladie- standing in the car."
Then the hish decree member rai-esup
a trille and sits down in the self-same
place. "Seal here, lady," say.- the
thoughtful conductor. The lady takes
one look at the space of alnuit three
inches that ought to be at least a foot of
room, and mildly remarks thai "She
prefers to stand."
It makes Polly smile sometimes to
hear the gentlemen disciis-ing the
matter of giving up their seat- tothej
ladie-, which they frequently do in the
ears. Well, -jim one man, hamt
souielv drcs-ed and showing that the
j world had u-ed him well in a financial
ami successful point of view, "it make-
' Hie tired. Here lhe-e Women put otl'j
their -hopping until in the afternoon
when they eon hi ju-t a.- well do it in
the morning and get home when the
car-were not crowded, but they come
'pell mell when bti-ine-.- men are going
I from their work, loaded with bumile.
land expect every man to jump up and
! tender them hi- seal. I t'.-nloiiiiiiable.
Nun-tenths of them dies- up in their
j bst. paint and powder, ami get on the
jcar-ju.-t to be admired. I for one have
I long since made up my mind to ignore
the fact of their being in the car com
pletely, ami I kcfi my seat." "That
3- ju-t the conclu-ioii I came to long
ago," . -aid hi-friend, "and I notice nine
out of tea men keep their -eats now.
The women will soon find out thai tin
men have come to their senses, and
they will gradually fall into line ami
timl that men haw some rights, loo."
The car was tilled at the time with
hard-working girl.-and women. Some
had worked in factories at fifty cent. a
day, others in canning places, and
there were -core- of pretty-faced girl.
looking tired and wan who had been
stall-ling behind the counter.- all day
waiting upon impatient and exacting
cu-toniei s. There were old gray haired
women, old enough to be the mother?
of nearly every man in the car. (lirls
who had .-lood all day, got up one
after one and tendered their seats to
the gray haired women, ami to women
with little babies in their arms and
dinging to their div-ses, but never a
man moved or showed any more inter
est than if they were the sole occupants
of the car. iMiially two women richly
div.-.-ed, looking rested ami happy and
chatting in regard to what a wry
pleasant allair Mrs. I! s tea had
been, they had ju-t come from, entered
the car ami up sprang the members of
high degree of the "Sit Still Club."
Not one. but half a dozen such member.-
were iiowiiig and .-.lulling ami try
ing to a--5st I hem to a seat. During
the commotion a great, big woman
with a basket on her arm slipped into
the seal of the principal high degree
man, saying, "Thank you, young man ;
the. Mat wasn't intended for nie, but 1
paid my fare and I'm eiitijlcd to a seat
too. 1 1 will do you good to stand." He
looked daggers at the old woman, who
smiled back at him in the most com
placent manner imaginable, and the
ritst of the pa.-.-engers smiled as if they
enjoyed the situation.
Now. I don't mean to insinuate that
I think men arc called iijhui to give up
their scabs in the cars on every oc
casion: plenty of them do it, but it is
not right for many of them having been
working hard all day and they long to
drop into a seat in the cars and rest on
the way home ami enjoy the daily
paper which they possibly have no
other time to read, but there arc tiuus
when this act of eluirtesv should be
shown; when the aged, be it man or
woman, the feeble in health, and ladies
with little children in their arm- or
clinging to their skirt.- to keep from
falling while the mother.- cling desper
ately to thestrapsto.-upport themselves
as well as the wee folks. Many women
dislike to take the seals from thegenth
nien and wry often stand when they
would be glad of the protlered rest, but
they realize that it is a hardship for the
man, who has hct u hard at wori. all
day, and decline the courtesy that
prompted the kindly oiler. I don't
like to see strong, athletic young men
who have sat at a desk all day, or in
their ollices, keep their seats, when it
would do them a world of good to
straighten out their spines and get a
little of the exercise in trying to cling
to the straps that girls, who look as
though human nature had been taxed
to the utiiio-t, have to stand. Many
women, old and young, Polly will have
to admit, are ungrateful ami will accept
the seats ottered by the gentlemen, with
never so much as a "thank you."
There the fair sex are to blame and de
serve to be roundly censured for this
breach of courtesy in showing their
appreciation.
Many mothers are to blame as well
for this selfishness. They do not teach
their young sons that it is the proper
thing to show deference to the ladies.
It is these Utile acts of courtesy that
tends to polish oil' the rough edges of
life, and boy or girl cannot learn them
any too soon. One of the comic journ
als tells of a little boy, who forgot that
he was seated on his father's lap, and
when a lady entered the car he sprang
to his feet, saying, "Take my seat,
ladv."
BRIEF REVIEW.
Salaries ol Clergymen.
Some clergymen receive 1i:() a year
for their services, when the church i.
a large one situated in a growing city.
Tho-e in the smaller towns hawyearly
salaries ranging from 5-UKMiifPJHi- sal
aries which they are not always able to
collect. 1 n a group of i.'imi churches, in
cluding a fair average of city, small city
and country parish- in and about New
York, the average salary i- ?'S. Such
a condition i- not attractive to a young
collegi-bivd man w ho, though uii-elf-J
i-hly earne.-t for hc church, i- htumMi
with ambitious for the couiforiabllTr
haute that his abilities ought to earn.
The result is the repealed -tatenieiit
that the inferior men arc going into the
ininistrv: that "if a man can'ljlo any
thing el.-e he either teaches or preaches j
ami that if hecan't teach, he preaches."
And yet it i- doubtful if there is a field
for practical achievement in America
as large a.-that otl'ered by the Protc-l-ant
Ministry. Leslie's Monthly.
Tiie First Pensioner,
'file privilege of being the first pen
sioner of the New York Central Hail
road under the new pen-ion .-y.-tetii has
fallen toSaimiel I .am of Poiighskeep-ie
Mr. Lane ha- the unu-ual record of
newr having but one employer. He
has bctn in ihe-erviccof the New York
Central for fifty-three year.-, has never
eo-1 the company a cent by rea.-oii of
neglect or eareles.-ne.-s, and ha.- never
figured in an accident. lie is now 71
year.- of age, hale and vigorous. He
will receive -Jo u nioiitli as long as he
live.-.
Two Unique Railroads.
The rail- of the Mexican Culf Kail
road are laid on mahogany sleepers and
the bridge-built of white marble. In
West Mexico i- a Hue wi;h ebony sleeper.-and
balla.-t of silver drawn from the
mines beside the track. 1 lieengineer.
coiistructiiig these railway.- had no
other material on the route and found
it cheaper to u.-ethe-e seeming extrav
agances than to import ordinary ma
terial. EDITORIAL FLINGS.
A New York man has been lined ?10
for giving away a street car transfer.
It Is a crime to give anything away In
New York. Washington Post.
Des Moines is to have a bed factory.
Some of these mineral springs will
doubtless he found of value by the hed
maUers. - Des Moines Itegister and
Leader.
"We are not here to get all we can."
says young Mr. Rockefeller to his Bible
class. (.Ireat heavens: What would
they have got if they had really tried?
New York World.
King Alfonso refuses to give more
than eight hours a day to royal busi
ness. Alf Is not going to take any
chances of losing his card in Council
No. 1. Kings' union. Washington Post.
And while the Japs are considering
the subject of adopting our alphabet
they might also consider the propriety
of arranging their text font end for
niost instead of hind side before. Bos
ton Herald.
Ills UI'lNfcCH.
He was wearing his first pair of
classes, and at first they afforded great
relc-f. but at the end of a month there
was a retrogression. Somehow, polish
the lens as he would, the vision ap
peared to be weaker. So he went back
to his oculist and said he thought the
glasses "weren't strong enough."
The oculist stepped aside for a min
ute, then handed his customer what
apparently was another pair. Trying
them drew forth the exclamation:
"Why. these are much better! I can
see now as well as when I first wore
my glasses."
Then he was Initiated Into one of the
little secrets of the trade. The oculist
had merely cleansed each lens with a
little soap and wa let".- New York Post.
RUBIES IN BURMA.
I. rip, it ti 1 -i ;:is I -''il In l!n rail I n i ttz
!"!. Precious .stones.
The peculiar li:siiie-s methods of ori
ental merchants are illustrated by the
in.uiiicr tif buying rubles in Ilurma.
-ays the Jewelers" circular-Weekly. In
1'ie examination of rubies artificial
light is n-ij u-ed. the merchants hold-vi-
Hi: i fi.il sunlight alone can brins
nut I lie color and brilliancy of the
penis.' Sales iniisl therefore take place
l.ctwecu ii a. in. ami V, p. in., and the
iky must be clear.
The purchaser, placed near a whi
tlow, has before him a large copper
;date. The selleis come to him one by
jiic. and each empties upon this plate
lis little hag of rubies. The purchaser
proceeds to arrange them for valua
tion in a number of small heaps. The
lir-U division is into three grades, ac-;-ording
to size. ICach of these groups
is again divided into three piles, nc
cordins to color, and each of these
piles is again divided Into three groups,
according to shape. The bright copper
plate has-n curious use. The sunlight
retlectcd, from it through the stone
brings out with true rubies a color ef
fect different from that with red spi
nels and tourmalines, which are thus
easily separated.
The buyer and seller then go through
a very peculiar method of bargaining
by sisns, or. rather, grips. In perfect
silence. After agreeing upon the fair
ness of the classification they join
their right hands, covered with a hand
kerchief or the tlap of a garment, and
by grips and pressures mutually un
derstood among all these dealers they
make, modify and accept proposals of
purchase and sale.
HYPOCRITE AND VILLAIN.
The
Gentle Term.s a rtiiycocr Once
Applied to Forrest.
A number uf professional men were
exchanging reminiscences of Edwin
Forrest, the great tragedian. One of
them told the story of Forrest's experi
ence in the west, which was not only
uf interest in itself, but also a tribute
to the art of the actor.
The play was "Virginias." and For
rest was at his best. In the scene
where he slays his daughter the audi
ence was almost stricken with awe.
and not a sound was heard until the
scene was concluded, after which the
artist was greeted with overpowering
applause. In the following act Virgin
ins comes on the stage looking worn
and distracted. The reaction has set
In. he is frenzied over the loss of his
daushter. ami he walks up and down,
crying out: "Virginia. Virginia! Where
is my child?"
An old miner, who occupied a front
row in the orchestra anil who had been
terribly wrought up by the murder
scene, could stand this no longer and.
arising in his place, shouted out in
loud tones, freighted with intense ln-
ljf.n.,.j0
"Why. you old villain, you killed her
m the market house In the last act.
You know it well enough. You are a
hypocrite as well as a villain."
The laughter and applause that greet
ed this unexpected turn in the per
formance made It necessary to ring
down the curtain. Harper'.; Weekly.
H'ARlD" TO IMITATE.
SiiiiiiiIs llcyimii tin Aliilily uf Otir
Yiiciil O run ii.
"That man can imitate perfectly the.
jinsle of money." said in a tone of eu
logy a young woman.
"Well, what of that?" objected her
companion. "That ought not to be
hard to do."
"" Try to do it."
The objector, after summoning into
ltis mind the sound of jinsling money.
irieil. "It r-r-tat-tat." he went. "P.r-br
hra-ra-ra. ehk-ehkk-ehk." Then In
smihil apob.seiically. for he had failed
Not bv the furthest stretch of the im
agination c;uld it be said that he had
uttered a sound that resembled tnon
e's jingle in the least degree.
""I knew von couldn't do it." said the
veiutg woman. "It is amazing how
many simple sounds there are that we
can't Imitate, try as we will. There is.
for instance, the sound of a person
waikins. the sound of a typewriting
machine in operation, the sound of run
ning water, the sound of a breaking
di-h. You can't imitate those com
monplace noises, and I doubt if any
one in the world can. Our vocal ca
pacity seems to us large, but It is real
ly limited enough as limited as that
of many animals and much more lim
bed than that of certain birds. That
is why I honor a man who has extend
ed his vocal capacity sufficiently to im
itate the pleasant, silvery sound of
money's jingle." - Baltimore Herald.
THE ALBATROSS.
Wuiiilerfiil riiurlitn of Thii (.rent
I-'ciit her I'll Wanderer.
Of all the strange creatures seen by
travelers not the least interesting is
the wandering albatross. This gre.it
feathered wanderer, sometimes meas
uring seventeen feet from tip to tip of
his wings, will follow a ship for days
at a time. Some travelers and sailors
declare that they have seen a particular
bird tly for weeks at a time without
resting. The albatross has always
been a bird of mystery, and in ancient
times the people believed that these
unwearying sea birds were the com
panions of the i ! reek warrior Diomedes.
who were said to have been changed
into birds at the death of their chief.
Though the superstition about the
killing of an albatross bringing bad
luck is only a foolish one. it lias served
a useful pit i' tose for many years in pre
venting the slaughter of these beautiful
ami gallant birds the" sailors' friends
ami the landsmen's wonder. Up in
dreary Kamchatka, that outlying part
of Siberia which cuts into the north
Pacific, the natives, never having
heard of the superstition about the
albatross, catch him and eat him. but
his flesh makes such poor food that,
after all. the legend may be said to
hold good, for he is Indeed in bad luck
who has to make a meal of it.Ottawa
Free Press.
A Subtle DUtlnctloii.
"Did the critics like your perform
imce of Hamlet?"
"The critics." answered Mr. Storm
ingtou Barnes, "liked It. But a large
number of persons who assume to bo
critics did not."-Washington Star.
BUYING
MARRIAGE IN MEXICO.
Iln-.v ill.- I :,imifiiifitl itnil Weilil Iiik
ereiinm ics i-e 'eleliruteil.
The .Mexican people are hospitable to
I fault, always welcoming their friends
exeu though they have not enough to
eat theiusehes. And they religiously
visit the sick, including those who
have contagious diseases. They are al
so addicted to public social functions,
the invariable mode of culcitainmcut
being the dance. They are fond of imi
fic. though not proficient in the art of
making it. probably more from lack of
opportunity than from lack of capac
ity. The violin and guitar are the usual
instruments of music, the repertory of
the local musicians being usually lim
ited to a few tunes which are in equal
demand for the dance and for the fu
neral. one of the uio-t interesting and beau
tiful of the social functions Is the pren
dorio. When a young man wishes to
marry he asks for the girl of his choice
of the parents, not of the girl herself,
and if she is given the pretulorio at
once follows, ushered in by shooting
and demonstrations of Joy. The bride
and bridegroom are publicly presented
to their future parents-in-law. after
which the company pass in procession
in front of the couple, each one drop
ping a piece of money into the hands
of the bride. Then follows the inevita
ble dance, 'litis public betrothal is con
sidered almost as binding as marriage,
and 1 haw heard of but one instance
in which the compact was not kept, the
recreant bridegroom in that case being
I-iteil with ostracism. The betrothal
is usually followed by marriage just as
s on as the services of the priest can
be secured. The marriage ceremony is
followed by a feast more notable for
the abundance of things to drink than
for things to eat and by the usual
dance. Indeed the festivities are often
prolonged for several nishts after the
wedding. Southern Woikman.
HE LOVED THE THEATER.
l":irec- iltid lnti lis Were tin .Iny of
Cciirci' III. uf Kimlmiil.
Few men of any' rank or time have
I'ver dcriwd s. much unaffected pleas
ure from the theater as to urge HI.
In tact, in the words of a contempo
rarj. It was "as good as a play to hear
the ro al laughter and note the genu
ine enjoyment of his majesty." "He
is said." Thackeray wrote, "not to
Lave cared for Shakespeare or tragedy
amdi. Farces and pantomimes were
bis joy. and espivially when the clown
-wallowed a carrot or a string of .sau
sages he would laush so outrageously
that lite lovely princess by Ids side
vonld haw to say. "My sracioiis. u:ou
itch, do cotupo.-c yourself!" And he
tinned to laugh and at the very
i..alhst farci-s as Ions as his poor wits
w ere left him."
S frequent were Course's visits to
I l.e theater that "his face was the most
l : Miliar in London to playgoers, who
t ': i. i more initio of his presence
lh:.n if he had been a simple eiti.en.
epi ta hen ids boisterous laughter
!: w at ten; ion to him and started oth
er laughing out of irresistible Infec
tion" As familiar a spectacle as that
ti his majesty purple and rolling with
l.icgliter was to see him sleepins as
neefully a- a child between the acts.
Si partial was lie to actors that he
pirmittid and even smiled at liberties
vl i. h he would haw resented in any
!?e else. On one occasion, when Par
si . s was pl-iyins in "The Siege of Ca
lais." i he act r walked toward the box
in which (ootge was sitting ami ad-(1--s-ol
him In the words of his part:
"An the kins were here and did not
admire my scaffold I would say: 'Hans
hi.:;! lie h:.s n taste." " a piece of im
pudence which threw his majesty into
a lit of laughter.- Loudon Tit-Bits.
PRONUNCIATION.
Itenil (tier 'litis Tc.l mo! Then Con
sult A our Illet Iniinry.
The following rather curious piece of
composition w; s placed upon the black
boatd at a certain teachers' institute
and a prize of a dictionary offered to
any person who could read it and pro
noun, e every word correetly. The book
was not carrotl on", as twelve was the
lowest number of mistakes in pronun
ciation made:
"A sacrilegious son of Belial who has
suffered from bronchitis, bavins ex
hausted his tinauces in order to make
oh1 the deiiclt. resolved to ally him
self to a comely. lenient and docile
young Indy of the .Malay or Caucasian
race. He accordingly purchased a calli
ope and coral necklace of a chameleon
hue and securing a suit of rooms at a
principal hold he engaged the head
waiter as his coadjutor. He then dis
patehiti a letter of the most unexcep
tional ealigraphy extant, inviting the
wiuis lady ton matinee. She revolted
at the idea, refused to consider herself
saeritieahle to his desires and sent a
polite note of refusal, on receiving
which he procured a carbine and bowie
knife, sahl that he would not now
forge fetters hymeneal with the queen
and went to an isolated spot, severed
his jusular vein and discharged the
contents of the carbine into his ab
domen. The debris was removed by
the coroner."
The mistakes in pronunciation were
made on the, follow ins words: Sacri
legious. Belial, bronchitis, exhausted,
finances, deficit, comely. lenient, docile.
.Malay, calliope, chameleon, suit, co
adjutor, ealigraphy. matinee, saeritiea
hle. carbine, hymeneal, isolated, jugu
lar and debris.
Tin- Tr i ii in pliu ii I Spider.
A little garter snake about live inches
long went to sleep in a wheelwright
shop, and a big black spider spun a
well around the reptile. When the lit
tle snake awoke It was literally in the
toils and besan to strussle. It finally
managed to free its body, but not Its
head. Meanwhile the spider was In
dustriously spinning fresh threads,
stopping occasionally to give the snake
a bite. Then the real tight commenced
and lasted for an hour. The snake
could not get away, but it tried its best
to bite tin-spider, without avail. Weak
ened by its futile efforts aid the suc
cessive stings of the insect, it gradual
ly ceased to strussle and finally died.
Then the spider, presumably triumph
ant. disappeared under the wall.
Sorry 1 1 Spoke.
Caller What did sister say when
ou told her I was here? Tommy -She
said. "Oh. thunder!"- -Boston Traveler.
A LI. PAGE PICTURE.
The Wot'!. 'I lull llrniixtit Hie Artist
1'iiille II i'i'icii i t ion.
The label on a ceiUiu spring water
still in use was designated by Du
Maurier. who was probably not over
paid for it. and a New York artist who
has since gained distinction eked out
the hardest part of his early struggles
by designing advertisements for a
commercial house. There have been
many more perhaps, but the most con
spicuous on record Is Bastien Lepage,
who through this very fact was forced
Into fame. He was pursued by unmer
ciful disaster through his youth in his
efforts to study art. His mother worked
in the fields to keep a sickly boy at
school. At fifteen he went alone to
Paris, starved for seven years, painted
without success, but still painted. He
had Just finished a picture to send to
the Salon when Paris was besieged,
and he rushed with his comrades to
the trenches.
On the first day a shell fell into his
studio and destroyed his picture, and
allow.-.- shell burst at his feet, wound
ing him. He was carried home and lay
ill and idle for two years. Then he re
turned to Paris and. reduced to abso
lute want, painted cheap fans for a
li ins.
one day a manufacturer of some pat
ent medicine ordered a picture from
him to illustrate its virtues. Lepage,
who was always sincere, gave his best
work to this advertisement. He paint
ed a landscape in the April sunlight.
The leaves of tender green quivered In
the breeze. A group of beautiful voting
girls gathered around a fountain from
which the elixir of youth sprang In a
bubbling stream. Lepase believed there
was real merit in it.
"Let me offur it at the Salon?" he
asked his patron.
The manufacturer was delighted.
"But lirst paint a rainbow arching over
the fountain," he said, "with the name
of my medicine upon It."
Lepase refused.
"The-i I will not pay you a sou for
the pici tire."
The price of this picture meant bread
for moiiths. and the painter hud long
needed bread. The chance of admis
sion to the salon was sum 11. He hesi
tated. Then he silenced his hunger and
carried the canvas to the salon. It was
admitted.
Its great success insured Lepage
public recognition, and his later work
g.-fned him a place among the greatest
of livins artists.
THE AGE OF STARS.
'"olnr Alils llu A-.I ronoiiier In .M:iU
Inir Ills t'u leu In t Ioiih.
As a .-tar contracts from the sur
rounding nebulous matter from which
ii was thrown off its temperature rises,
tad with this ausmented heat occurs a
chause both in the star's spectrum and
coi n. Bedhot itvui is not nearly so hot
as white hot iron. By observing the va
rious changes in tint which the metal
undergoes the foundry man Is able to
tell with considerable accuracy its de
cree of heat. A somewhat similar
net:. imI of gauging a star's temperature,
and therefore Its age. is relied upon by
lite astronomer. Color, then, and spec
troscopic analysis enable the astrono
mer to estimate the age of orbs that
are only beginning to exist as stars
and others whose light is fast fading.
After having coagulated, as it were,
from a nebulous mass, a star assumes
a color that may be best described as
an inte'tse blui.-h while, much like that
of the electric arc. Stars of that hue
are. therefore. In their infancy. Then
c mes the white stase. followed by the
ye. I w. orange and red. each succeed
ing l ue indicating greater celestial an
t;qi:i. than the last. I'p to the yellow
period the star as it contracts grows
hotter and hotter. Then a gradual cool
ing takes place. Aceompati.. ius the
changes in color are changes in the
:; e. inun of the star- changes that In
dicate a mHliiicaiion in physical struc
ture. In the bluish white pc.inl of a
tar's infancy the characteristic wide
lines of hydrogen gas predominate in
the spectrum. As the coUn- changes,
ihe lines of calcium, magnesium and
iron appear, the hydrogen lines gradu
ally beiomins thinner and those of
cab ium broader. Book lovers Maga
inc. PLAYS AND PLAYERS.
"Iluntpty Dtunpty" has scored a bis
hit m New York.
There Is a .scene in "Mother loose"
of the Palace of Fantasy, which is the
only illustration of the latest Luropean
art fa 1 known as "Tart nouwau."
The rumor that Mine. Modjeska Is
going into vaudeville is denied. A big
offer was made her If she would give a
Fcene ttoin '.Macbeth." but she refused.
Joseph Cawthorne. who plays the ti
tle role in "Mother (loose." will be
starred next season, supported by a bis
musical organization, in a new play
under the direction of Klaw .V: Frlan
ger. Chauncev nleott's popular ballad.
"My Wild l'.ish K se." which was
w ritten for "A U nit. in. e of Athlone."
has run into the thousands of copies,
and the royalties have rem bet I thou
sands of dollars.
An early dale is set for the appear
ance of a new compahy In "Monsieur
Beaucalre." the play which has won
laurels for Kichard Mansfield. As its
star will appear Croston Clarke, son of
John Sleeper Clarke and nephew of
Fdwin Booth.
(burse Fdwardes. manager of the
Lyric theater in London, who will pre
sent his Lyric theater company in
"The Duchess or Dantxie" at Daly's
theater. New York. .Ian. 1'. ha.- espe
cially onsased Loniprier Prlnsle for
the role of Lofebvro.
The lluttereil Sl.lc.
A woman w ho is a close observer of
children was out walking in the coun
try one day. she relates, when she saw
a little girl with solemn big blue eyes
sitting on a doorstep munching a huge
slice of bread and butter. The only
peculiarity about the operation was
that she was holding the buttered side
of the bread toward the ground.
"Why do you hold your bread and
butter that way?" asked the lady.
"Tause." whispered the little maiden
confidentially, "mamma says bwead
always falls butter side down, so if
you hold It butter side down to start
wif nnd then dwop it. why, of course.
It falls butter side up."
DREAMS AS WARNINGS.
Periodicity of InipreHfiloii an Ex
planation of Premonition.
Dr. Herman Swoboda of Vienna has
recently provided us with some vcry
Interesting data in reference to dreams,
data which may do a great deal in
explaining many phenomena which up
to the present have been looked upon
as the work of mysterious agencies.
This scientist believes that Impressions
and events are again brought into the
field of consciousness after certain
spei ilied intervals, in the case of men
after twenty-three days and In the
case of women after twenty eight days.
Thoughts and recollections, on the oth
er hand, have a periodicity which Is
apparently not explained in any way
by examination of the customary train
of ideas. The reproduction of impres
sions and recollections is so regular
that Dr. Swoboda has frequently suc
ceeded in predicting the appearance of
certain dreams at specific times.
He himself always has the well
known "ilyins dream" twenty-three
days after he has been skating, and it
is probable that continual use of our
arms and legs in other than In a nor
mal manner, as in dancing, skating,
bicycling, etc.. will, after a period of
twenty three or twenty-eight days,
produce the "flying dream." This form
of dream is doubtless the result of the
so called muscular sense, for we pos
sess a feeling not only of the position
of our muscles, but also of the changes
which these muscles undergo in move
ment. However, the most remarkable part
of Dr. Swoboda's work is its bearing
on premonitions and the key it gives to
the explanation of a large mass uf these
phenomena. Again we will resort to
the cases mentioned by the author,
which will indicate his meaning clear
ly and briefly. Dr. Swobuda teils of
the case of n physician who dreams
that he is called upon to see a sick
child. On Jan. o the physician made a
visit to the child under discussion, and
the night of .March s" and "S he had
bis dream. During his visit of .Jan. ."
he hail received his impressions, which
after the triple lapse of the period of
twenty-eight days were again present
ed In the dre.un. At the same time the
physician had his dream the mother of
the child had a dream which represent
ed the former visit of the physician, in
the case of the physician the dream
creating a premonition that he would
be called to see the child, while with
the mother ihere was suggested the ad
visability of calling in the physician.
Public Opinion.
SHORT STORIES.
Bread, meat, vesetables and fruit
cost more in Knsland than in the Unit
ed States.
Lieutenants in the Canadian army
are to receive hereafter $2 a day. cap
tains $.5. majors and colonels ?i.
A heroic size statue of Julius Caesar,
to accompany that of Frederick the
Great at the War college grounds.
Washington, may he presented to this
country by Italy.
In the Stonewall mine. San Diego
county. Cal.. an earthquake s twisted
the shaft that the timbers were pulled
around to the opposite sides of the
shaft from their original position.
The Bath l.Me.i shipbuilding firm of
Percy v: Small claims the world's rec
ord for large number of masts placed
in small number of vessels, having put
ninety masts into nineteen schooners
and burses.
Colorado Springs was one of the first
cities west to tight the billboard nul
sanee. and so far It Is the first to pun
ish the es-itlstical crank who delights
in iitrvins or paint ins his name on
public property.
Reference was had recently to an ap
praiser's inventory which was tiled In
the registry of probate at Burlington.
Vt.. in the year 171)0. The Item "stun
suss" caused much perplexity until
some one k.-.d a happy thought and
lUSSesteil stone jus.
RISKY SURGERY.
Daiim-r l'ur the Doctor Who Inocu
Inlei! ICuiprcNM t'ntlierliie.
Inoculation against smallpox preced
ed the modem method of vaccination
ami was attended with a good deal of
danger. Thomas Dtmsdale was the
foremost advocate of inoculation. He
inoculated Kmpress Catherine of Rus
sia. This was in 17tS. There was con
siderable danger to life in undergoing
tin'.- artificially induced disease. The
czarina, therefore, arranged that dur
ing the whole course of the illness of
her son and herself there should be re
lays of swift horses kept constantly
ready attached to carriages all along
the post road the nearest way out of
I Cassia.
Catherine told Dlmsdale that if bad
symptoms dl-played themselves he was
not to remain to look after them, but to
fly for his life without delay or com
punction. She well knew that he would
not be safe If she or the heir of Kussin
died in his hands.
She gave him an order of the most
::--nt kind from herself to the siic
cesshe postmasters nut to delay him
for a minute on any pretext. Dlmsdale
received a fee of about $.ii.(Miu from
the empress and other gifts besides.
Wt-ariTh of CocUuilcM.
Cockades were formerly worn only
by soldiers, which gave rise to the
phrase, eomnion both in Kngland and
France, "to mount the cockade." mean
ing to become a soldier. The Dhick
cockade worn on the hats of otlieers
servants was introduced into Britain
by (,'eorge I. from his Herman domin
ions. The real right to use it bekmgs
not only to naval and military officers,
but also to the holders of certain of
fices under the crown, such as privy
councilors. cabinet ministers anil
judges, though many people who can
not claim to be classed under any of
these catesories display it on their
servants' hats.--London Times.
Tin SieU Mn. n nml the tmrjer.
The sick man had called his lawyer.
"I wish to explain asain to you." said
he weakly, "about willing mv proper-
ty"-
The attorney held up his hand reas-
surinsly. 'There, there!" said
"Leave that all to me."
he.
The sick man sighed resignedly.
"I suppose I might as well." said he.
turning upon his pillow; "you'll get itt
anyway."- Judge.