I
"What nouaeuse!” she cried. “And northern part of the state. Being f.i WOMAN AND FASHION
besides, what cau I do? I can't live miliar with the route of the |> F.ul„| j
road I Knew that the train which Mi-
here always?"
Simple shirt Waist.
"Even that might be arranged," said Palm hud taken could not huve n-.ch
Simple blouses or shirt waists fill
I. "And yet I suppose you must go, ed Conway before twelve o'clock. Dr i nix'd and are ulways in demand,
I >
—*--------------- --- —
—
but I'd like to hear of your safe ar Adams had been prompt with his mes however much more elaixirate ones
When He Comes Home, a
sage, and the transmission hnd been may be $iked. This one Is laid In box
rival.''
When he comes home again I fashion o’er
Her eyes twinkled, shaking the heart unusually rapid. Probably tlie acel plaits for its entire length and Is be
The hundred tender things that I shall
say;
In my breast with the magic of theli dent had happened while I was saying coming to the generality of woman
IJpw I shall count the dragging hours
good night to some fallows at the club kind. while It is absolutely simple and
'
light
e all fey,
•
“I »half telegraph my uncle,” said Joking and laughing with them
And when he comes shall hear his step
Blessed heaven, and my love In peri,
before
.
she.
The old gate clicks and meet him at the
“Confound—I beg your pardon. Tele and pain! With what ghastly cruelty
S absurd old college song begin»
dSor
| graphing lilm won't do me any good.** nature plots behind our backs.
with these words:
And help him with his shabby coat and
It was no time for pouring vain ac
She studied me a little, with her head
lay.
cusations Into the deaf ears of the
Half tearfully, the much brushed hat
inclined
to
the
right
and
then
to
th«
Was
sucking
cider
through
a
b b The
The prettiest
prettiest girl
girl that
that ever
ever I I saw
saw
away
struw.
Fates. The need was for action.
Was sucking cider through a i left, after the manner of a bird. Look
And the stout cane he leans on, more
I
hadn
’
t
thought
of
it
in
many
years.
ing Into her eyes I saw the gleam of a First, money. One must count cash in
struw.
more
When he Is seated In his own big chair
I hadn’t thought of it in many years, : gentle fancy that dawned In her brain. these days before he encourages any
(That in his absence was so eloquent)?
but
It suddenly flashed through my I She took a dear little memorandum altruistic impulse. If you stretch out
A h pleased as any child, he'll tell me then
I book out of a bag that hung at hei your hand to save your own father
About his visit—how each dav was spent I mind as 1 guzed U|x>n the girl and the
from drowning in God's ocean some
Adding, the while I struke the soft gru\ straw. Nobody drinks cider in these belt.
"I haven’t your address," said she mercenary rascal will find means to
hair,
days. Upon the occasion in qucstlou
"But nothing’s quite like getting home
the bevefage was even less strenuous “And. besides, it would be silly to tele tuke toll of you. However, I was
again!’*
than the apple juice of our forefathers. graph to you if I am safe. But If there fairly well supplied; a matter of a bun
-Anna Twitchell In Good Housekeeping
It was a preparation which they nerve should be a wreck, and I should be dr cd dollars and a check book ought to
see me through. Second, transporta
In Old Virginia.
at the Continental club under the name killed or very badly hurt"—
tion. There used to be a train north
"Don’t! Don’t!”
1 love the mountains wreathed in mist,
of a “mild cooler.” As to the girl, she
The twilight skies of amethyst.
"Why, you’d like to know of it,” she ward at 2 o’clock on the D. F. and J.
was
undoubtedly
the
one
referred
to
In
The groves of ancient oaks, sun kissed.
the song, whenever and wherever that
11 continued. "So I'll Just put down your Third, since I bad time for the sub
In old Virginia.
may be sung—the prettiest girl W1 4 name right here on the front page”- ject, clothes. It would be unpleasant
she turned the book over and opened to go to Conway In evening dress. But
I love the gorgeous trumpet flowers,
anybody ever saw. Iler name
Wild ruse and honeysuckle bowers.
Cron It—"and I'll write the one word 'notl In the meanwhile a telegram. I rang
Muriel
Palm.
Thu woodland Incense after showers.
for a boy and sat down to write.
fy’ over It. Would you like that?"
Miss Palm removed the straw
In old Virginia.
At such a time the familiar acts of
Like It. Indeed! Could any man be
her
lips,
and
I
thought
of
the
rest
oi
I love the laughter of the rills,
so dull as not to feel the Joy and the life oppress us strangely. They seem
Cloud shadows stretched athwart ths the song, which every’ one knows. But honor of it?
It was as If we to pass like little people bearlug great
my acquaintance with the young In« \
hills.
had made some vow together. That burdens. We watch them and groan
The Jocund ««ng of him who tills.
was
not
close
enough
to
permit
of
my
In old Virginia.
entertaining any Idea In regard to h< r message would never be sent. 1 with their toil. The drawing up of my
lips except that they were pretty to would trust the angels to guard chair, the finding of the telegraph well suited to wear with the jacket
I love the martial ranks of corn.
Their blades alight with lights of morn.
look at. Besides, the ladies’ dininu against such a need. But there would blank (though it lay ready to my hand), suit. The sleeves are among the latest
The curtains of the night withdrawn.
room
at the Continental club is a p. .in ulways be a thread, delicate as a the lifting of the pen and. above all, of lhe season-wide and full at the
In old Virginia.
sort of pla< , and there were fifty peo strand of her shining hair, extending the choice of words with which to shoulders nnd narrow at the wrists,
from that dear little book to my heart. frame my message —all these took
I love the modest maidenhood,
ple present at the time.
The deference paid to womanhood,
So long as slie preserved the book we shape as Individual tasks of difficulty where they ure finished with deep
“
There
’
s
been
a
dreadful
railroad
ac
The chlvalric and gentle blood,
could
never be wholly apart; all the and labored heavily for their own ac cuffs. As Illustrated the material Is
cident,” said Miss Palm. “Did you
In old Virginia.
vast
fabric
of human communication complishment. My effort seemed to be royal blue taffeta, with figures of the
read about it?”
I love the love of native sod.
would lie bewitched to serve us the to let them go on in their orderly way same color, but all tlie season’s wait
“
No,
”
sal
1.
“
Where?
”
ings are correct.
The simple faith that trusts In God,
“Out west: a long way off,” she re- waiting slave of our friendship, and I and not to break In upon them at the
The heuds bowed neath the chastening
The quantity of material required for
rod.
plled, and ’hen. with n sad little shake might always feel that I stood ready thrust of sudden and unreasonable lm the medium size Is three and three-
for
her
service.
pulse.
I
wrote
this:
In old Virginia.
of the head that made a golden ringlet
quarters yards twenty-one Inches wide,
—B B. Valentine In Asheville (N. C.) Cit
"I should never have dared ask so
just above her left ear shimmer like a
[TO BE CONTINUED. J
izen.
three and three-eighths yards twenty
much,
”
suld
I.
"How
long
may
I
hop«
fairy’s jewels, “But I shall think of It
seven Inches wide or two yards forty-
"Why ” should you burden your young that you will keep the book?"
tonight.
The Hired Man on Contentment.
four inches wide.
VACANT HOMES.
She was writing my name with
mind with' -'.icb an unpleasant mat
Tired o’ trudgin' the furrer.
dainty precision.
ter?" I Inquired.
Tired o’ pitchin’ hay,
9wl«a Eider Garment«.
Tired o’ routin’ at four o’clock
"Oh, Fl! keep it a long time.” she Honiei That Are Neither For Sale
“Because ' -Judl be riding on a rail
Nor For Rent.
Swiss eider Is the material at the
F’r a fourteen hour day;
said. “I have important accounts in
road
train
night,
”
she
replied.
“
I'm
Tired o’ chores an' the groc’ry stores an’
“Do you know that there are several head of the list for comfort garments
It. You mustn't peep at them; they are
going 1 .< me all alone too."
a round in a ten quart pan,
Now. Ii
■ s a real cnlamlty, close dreadful extravagances. Now write hundred houses In Philadelphia the purposely designed for lounging during
Tired o’ livin’ a whole life through as a
owners of which keep them Idle be the cold season. They are made up
Kansas hired man
nt band, -' riling and personal. I the address under the name."
go I kind o’ thought I’d shift my style
cause of the death therein of a member with a dainty binding of stitched silk,
I
wrote
It.
and
she
put
the
book
back
looked
it
iss
Palm
and
I
sighed.
It
O’ life to the boundless sea awhile,
of the family?” said a real estate deal and nbout the waist Is loosely tied a
was a g hi ii ;*. unpremeditated expres Into the bag.
F’r I read ’twas grand, an’ so one day
silk cord, with tassel endB, which
I shipped on the liner Tishy May.
"I'm afraid you'll forget all about er.
sion of d, ■;> feeling, and she seemed
“In the territory where I do much matches the binding in color. The
the
name
and
the
man."
said
I.
“
but
to
apprei
i.
e
it.
Learnt to pull the halliards,
business I can show you fifty houses Swiss eider can now be bought not
"1 tl.e xl you were to make a long
Learnt to h’tst the sail;
that have been Idle from one to ten only in tlie loveliest of plain colors,
Like the life o’ the sailor man
er vi~.it.” sold I weakly.
years that you cannot rent for love or but in many attractive fancy designs,
Ontil there r"me a gale.
•Goodness!” she exclaimed. ‘Tve
Bread to eat like baked concrete, lolloped
money. Many of them were deserted showing stripes and dots of a contrast
t>. • ii l.e.i more than n month. Did
In I*orty Keek—
soon after the death of a member of ing color; also a mottle effect, which la
I felt like a stunbo’t lo’ded with rocks— you lain» ¡hat my uncle had adopted
the family and were left completely new.
an’ the gale It bio wed a week!
me?"
An’ then the sloshin’s wet the limo,
furnished, the owners even going to
"But I’ve known you only two
An’ we was in f’r a hotfoot time,
the expense of renting another house to
Children Wear Caslimeres.
F’r when we crossed the deck ’twas— weeks." said I. more boldly.
live In.
Cashmeres, so enthusiastically ac
whoo!—
Mi.-s Palm seemod to take that mat
“A beautiful home belonging to an cepted by their elders, are being gen
Hippity hop, like a kangaroo.
ter under consideration. She slowly
eccentric old lady whom I know was erously used for the little folks. Those,
mil daintily stirred the “mild cooler”
All o’ the lime a-slackm’;
abandoned by her and her children be while soft uud graceful and rich In col
Innards a steamin’ wreck;
with the straw, and her lieuil was bent
cause of the husband's death five years oring. lack some of the serviceable
Baked our doughboys every day
forward so that I could not see her
By settin’ ’em on the deck;
ago. Several times have I endeavored qualities of the flaunels. Then there
Took the bo’t an’ went allo t, an’ a liner oyer., hut only tlie long lushes which
to induce her to rent It, but my efforts ure "wool delaines" quaintly flowered
f’r Liverpool
looked so dark against the perfect
were unavailing. The Interior of the and a new, very smooth anil hard
Picked us up an’ set us to work down In clearness of her skin. I am so consti
her stokers’ school.
bouse. I understand, still contains the twisted serge and the albatross and
tuted
as
to
be
especially
susceptible
to
Oh, the stowhole’s hot when you’re pitch
beautiful furnishings It possessed when tlie mohair and very light weight
tlie Influence of blue eyes with dark
in’ hay,
the family moved away. In fact, you worsteds.
An’ the fields are hot on a July day.
brows and lashes. And with a sudden
can see the lace curtains at some of
But to bake your heart an’ frizzle your Illumination I perceived that I was so
soul
the windows. They have been turned
Pnnnnia Voile.
You’ve got to git down In the stokin’ constituted us to be especially suscept
yellow by the sun.
There Is a new weave of veiling,
hole!
ible to the influence of this particular
“Neither can you purchase the homes quite heavy, called Panama voile, that
girl. She was like the breath of un
Feedin’ her chunks an’ dustin’s,
referred to unless poverty forces such Is used for street nnd semldress gowns.
seen blossoms and like the tints in
Feedin’ her coal all day;
families to dispose of them. Death It Is shown in both plain and embroid
Hardly time f’r a breath o* air;
clear water at the beginning of the
alone holds the key of entrance.”— ered effects nnd In the most fashion
Never a time f’r play!
dawn. Such loveliness has the fragil
Philadelphia Telegraph.
Stlddy chaw In her gufllln’ maw, growl
able colors.
ity of the momenta which are shattered
f’r more In her stack—
An’ that was the kind o’ life I led to by ev< y spent stroke of time.
Smart Salt For Girl*.
SWEETENING SUGAR.
Liverpool dork an’ back.
And with this thought a chill of su
Mannish mixtures in tweeds and
Tie up o’ cattle Is fur from fun
perstlt
ous
terror
descended
upon
me.
Till fodders’ down an’ the chores Is done,
Ilow Poor Qnalltles Are Brought Up cheviots make smart suits for young
1 seen ed to see the rush of great en
But a real stout job ye’ll never know
to the Standard.
girls In their teens. An attractive out
gines through the night and to hear the
Till ye feed In the stokehole down below.
There are certain kinds of sugar door costume Is shown here developed
clang
of
Iron
nnd
to
feel
the
willful
Back to the farms o’ Kansas,
which full short of the required stand In brown nnd tan cheviot with leather
ness and cruelty of the force to whose
Back to the soil f’r me!
ard of sweetness, and these sugars trimmings. The use of leather on walk
"I'll keep it a long time."
blind ml headlong haste this priceless
Gimme some land on every hand
ing suits Is very fashionable this sea
An’ never a sniff o’ sea!
and most delicate fabric was to be iu- at any rate. I’m now a knight sworn have to be sweetened artificially.
There are some establishments In Eu son The closing is made with leather
The most o’ men, now an’ again, will trusted.
to your loyal service. Some day, per rope where they do this kind of thing.
hanker f’r suthln’ new,
Wishin' the work o’ some other chap,
"I wish you weren't going,” said I, baps— But why dream? You will You are taken Into the sweetening de
tired o’ what they do—
without meaning to speak at all.
never need me.”
partment, and you see cones of sugar
But I tell ye, friends, the trouble today
"Tin t's very kind of you,” said she.
“One never knows when one may ready to be operated on. A cone is
Is ’cause so many is took that way.
“Upon some accounts I wish so too, need a friend.” she replied. “My cousin placed over an apparatus, apex down
If ye’re built f’r lend. then hark to me—
Don’t git foolish an’ go to sea.
but I mus: be home for my cousin's Pat says”—
ward. You notice many little holes In
—Holman F. Day In Success.
wedding.”
“Haug Pat!” I exclaimed. “Do you this apparatus close to the apex or
"Your cousin’s!” I exclaimed. “Not really care for him?”
point of the cone. Some tlilcklsh liquid
THE DICTIONARY.
Pat’s?'!
“Cousiu Pat?" She laughed with nuge Is poured on the flat end of the cone,
"Oh, dear no. Pat's not ready to be enjoyment. “What u Joke! I should ■ nd then the machinery is set In mo
Its Story May l.nek riot, lint It la Da.
married yet.”
pity a girl who cared for Pat He’s tion.
cldeilly IntereatlliK.
“Well. I hope he never will be,” a sad flirt. His heart, as Longfellow
The holes become the mouths of suc
Whoever says "dull as a dictionary”
expresses It, ‘Is like a scene tn an old tion tubes, nnd the sweetening liquid
cannot be very familiar with one. We said I.
Miss Palm had talked to me a great play. The curtain rises to slow music, Is drawn through the cone, giving It
may sympathize with the old lady who
remarked of tie dictionary that she deal about Pat, who was a ninety-ninth and Io, enter the eleven thousand vir the ni-cessary quality.
usln. to the best of my comprehen gins of Cologne.’ I despise flirts.”
Another Interesting fact in connec
’’didn't think much of the* story," but
We have a large clock on the mantel tion with this article is that some of
aeverthelcss no one can use a good sion. nnd a natural object of suspicion
"What's
poor
Pat
done
to
you?
”
she
in that dining room, and I think It is tlie pieces of “lump sugar” are really
annlirldged edition with any frequency
■nd not nttest to the fact thut It Is Inquired, with the light of mischief in a mistake. It struck with a loud and made up of dust or fragments pressed
*1111 of the most fascinating rending. her eyes. "You don't even know him.” pnlnful ’sound Just as I opened my together.
"No.” I admitted, “but you speak of mouth to say something really serious.
If you will examine certain pieces
Indeed, notwithstanding the old lady's
“So late* lhe cried. "And my trunks you will observe that the crystal for
»pinion, tlie dictionary often exerts a him continually, so that I almost feel
are not ready. I must hurry home.”
mation of good sugar Is not to be seen,
charm not unlike that of an exceeding as r’—
I could not detain her. We walked and you will also discover that these
ly Interesting novel. To be sure, the I "Well?”
"He Is no friend of mine," said I. along some blocks of city streets to close grained “lumps” take longer to
narrative lucks consecutiveness, but
gether. and I felt like a boy chasing a dissolve, though, of course, all sugar
tlie work is full of most interesting I “I'm agin him.”
“I'm sure I never said any but nice butterfly. Physically, she walked along that takes a long time to melt is not
stories.
When we go to look up a word we things of Pat,” said she. “If you hate solierly and demurely enough, but her necessarily made up stuff.—London
are in doubt nbout we are attracted to him. It is upon your own responsibil soul—which I fancied myself desirous Globe.
of addressing—seemed merely flutter
other words in Its ueighborhoixl; they ity."
China aad Russia.
"I accept It.” said I, “but when do ing In the sun; here, there and every
enlist our curiosity; we are Impelled to
The bureau of statistics provides In
where, daintily elusive. We said good
flml out their meanings, too. and to you go?"
"At 7 o'clock. I believe,” she replied. by ut last before her uncle’s door, and recent Issues of the consular reports
make ourselves acquainted with their
life histories. Very strange things, “Uncle is attending to time tables, tick I had gained absolutely no ground since tables showing the trade for many
the lodgment of my name In the tiny years of the United States with China
most unsuspected things, they often ets nnd things."
"And of course he'll put you aboard green covered book. True, nt the last nnd with Russia. Tlie former was by
tell us. Occasionally a very familiar
word that we thought we knery all the train? There's nothing In the moment she returned the pressure of far the greater every year of the past
nlmnt reveals most remarkable quali world that I can do?"
my hand heartily enough and looked twenty.'
We sold last year $12,862,000 worth
ties- much ns some commonplace
"No. I thank you.” said she. "It's me In the eyes, yet somehow I felt that
of goods to China and bought from her
neighbor who for years we have nod enough that you should bring me here I might never see her again.
$20.342,000 worth. The year before we
COAT AND HKIIIT.
ded to in passing to and fro. regarding to this very nice place for luncheon.
I spent that evening In the billiard
-him ns an exet-lktit t-.rt ralbe? ilvll I", Wasn't It queer tiuif wo ehoiiJC hanpen ri">m“of trie Continental ciuK arid sold *18.000 000. snd In 1002 $24.O0(».00o a»r«vd butties. TLs akl:>-4s shaped
dividual, may chance to join us tn a to meet upon the street? And other made many drenry attempts to cheer worth.
with narrow gores and box plaits. Cos
Russia bought of us last year $19,- htmes In this mode may be made of
walk down the street or sit beside us wise I might not have seen you to say myseif up. It was after midnight
944.000 and sold us $10,712,000. War velveteen, corduroy, laifles' cloth, ztbe
on the train and casually betray traits, goodby.”
“You haven’t eaten a blessed thing.” when I reached my rooms, and 1 had preparations accounted for much the line or meltoj^. with chamois, velvet or
Interests, qualities of mind or heart
planned
to
alt
up
for
an
hour
or
so
that entirely change our opinion of ■aid I.
largest purchases on record. In six heavy silk for trimming. Some s
She looked surprised. “Haven't I?" before a bit of sea-coal fire, for the years we have sold much more to Chi made of smooth faced cloth are tri-/
him. So we may rend on and on. per
autumn night had turned chilly.
haps forgetting all about the word she nsk“d.
na
med with fancy braid. To make ;'
I had taken three or four letters out
Obviously no answer was expected,
that wo set out to look up. and finally
Tea explains why our Chinese im skirt In the medium size will it
of
my
box
below
stairs,
absentmind
have to turn to It again to reassure and so 1 devoted a few seconds o
ports are so heavy.
three yards of material for.
ourselves as to the precise points we thinking of her uncle. If he was o edly. without even looking at the script
Inches wide, with one-balf yard <>r
of
tlie
addresses;
but
as
I
flung
them
were In doubt about.—Boston Herald. take her to the train. It was no use
Germany’s Acquired Territory.
tresting material for trimming,
going down. Miss Palm's uncle w is u; n a table something yellow flut
It Is twenty years, says the London make the skirt In medium size will
tered out from between them. I stared Post. »Ince Germany began to build up
equal
to
a
company
of
United
Stabs
Anthony*« None.
quire five yards of material forty fo
at It; but wliy should I be alarmed? .
There la a remarkable natural curi Infantry with fixed bayonets and or I receive many telegrams; there was ■ colonial empire, aad the net result is laches wide.
osity on n small tributary of the Mo der» to shoot to kill. It would be bet no reason to supiiosc that this one bore that after spending some fifteen or
Tlie Opposite Way.
hawk river In Montgomery county. N. ter to say goodby anywhere else that any evil tidings. Yet ns I paused I twenty millions sterling she has sc-
He was a Rhodes scholar at Oxford.
qulred
more
than
a
million
square
Y., known all over New Englaud as In his presence.
He had come from Germany and was
heard a boy crying n late extra on the
"It Is quite a Journey to make alone." street, and his studiously unintelligi miles of territory, with a sparsely i .receiving bis first lessons in rowing.
"Anthony's Nose." it Is situated on
the extremity of a mountain called saUl I. "Do you go by the D. F. and ble Jargon sonnded like— The sweat scattered German population of be “Back water." said the coach. The
"the Klips." and whgn viewed from j.r
broke out suddenly upon my forehead tween five and six thousand souls— German did not understand. The coach
the river at the entrance to the high
"Yes." said she. “I'll be-home early and Instantly the telegram was open men. women and children. Of the explained that It meant to use his oar
lands has the perfect shape nnd gen in the morning.”
adult male population a third are offi “Ln the opposite way." and the Rhodes
in niy hands:
eral appearance of a human nose at
Again I was conscious of that ridlcu
cials or soldiers. Militarism is ram- ‘
Miss r*lm Injured In collision hers. W< pant.every where, with the result that man followed instructions to the letter
least 300 feet long. Opposite Fort Ions alarm: again I followed with my [ hot«
not seriously.
as nearly as he understood. He lifted
Montgomery, to Putnam county, on th« mind’s eye the Iron monster nfging
the whits settler avoids German colo his oar from the rowlock and put the
DR. S. K. ADAMS.
east side of ’he Hudson river, there through the dark.
nies
as
he
would
a
plagns.
Dat ed. 1 gianced up at the date line.
handle into the water.
9
Is another tiAse shaped projection
"Really,” I stammered, “thia miser The letters danced and blurred so that
A brave man Is sometimes a despera
known to the frequenters of that lo able accident that you were telling me it was ten seconds at least before I Conversation Is an art in which a
cality as "TUf <*l Man'* Nasal ap of— Ito you know. I'm afraid I’m go ! n od tlie word. The message had been man lias all mankind for competlto«.— do, iMt a bully is always a coward.—
Hnllburton.
pendage."
• «
,
1 lug to be anxious at** you T'
seul tnjui Cousa.fi» little town in tin Emerson.
—
Gems In Verse
A
NEW SHORT STORIES
KI. ui H m I i lluraor.
Ch..rlc. c. t
th. m is ‘St a
man who w s app .me I a commission
er on the iutervoiitineutal railway
commission, tell* nu amusing story. In
which tic i/ In figure is l»eury Nor
man. the British Journalist. Norman
visited Washilut Mi a few years ng >
One evenlug Jut before tlie
;r-
lure of the Britisher it was <!*■. --i m.1
to put u;> a Joke on him at the I . .s
club. A Mr. Decker was sele< ted t i he
the perpetrator. This gentleman arose
In his seat mid. taking n small Lull
from his pocket, addressed Mr. Nor
man ns follow s;
"Sir, -I have been deslguateil by my
fellow members to convey ti you an
expression of our pleasure. Ou behalf
| Bo\ OFF B E TIUCKS.
the berth
of a theater ticket
SELLER IS NOT A SINECURE.
Mail Who Bits lirhlnd
M i<*k>l Mu«l Ke U l.uod JudMC* of
liumau Sttture—Tlir Ari of "Dreii-
iiiK” M l.leht lloupe.
To the average‘theater goer the man
who ~ is behind the’Wicket lu the box
office and sells tickets seems to have
■...... . the sinecures of eurtli. True, he
i.... to .ii vt . m.inj fool questions and
deal with many fool ¡tentous who are
often ii-dj lecause others with more
foresight have picked up early all the
g kx I seats, lie has to handle diplo
matically the woman who wants dollar
seats for 75 cents aud with lhe other
fellow who wants "first row, center,"
after the play has begun aud thut has
been sold for a week ahead. But all
these things seem but his share of the
minor Ills of earth. Outside of them
apparently bls Job is what Is generally
knowu as a "snap.”
But tho man In the box office has
other things t > do besides sell tickets.
True, that Is where he comes In con
tact with the general public, and that
is all that Is usually thought about his
duties. But at the same time be Is
serving the public be Is working for
two masters behind the scenes, the
proprietor of tlie house and the mana
ger of the attraction, and he must
serve the i equally, while their inter
ests sometimes conflict sharply. Fur
thermore, he must serve them as
against the public If need there be, aud
It keeps him hustling to hold his job
to do it too.
lhe man behind the wicket Is a good
man If he can make you buy a seat
that costs you more than you Intended
to Invest to see that particular “show”
—all attractions in n playhouse are
“shows" in the parlance, be they opera,
comedy or vaudeville. Now, most men
think they know what they are golug
to get when they visit a theater, and
“I AM 1NHTBCCTE1» TO Give. VOL' THIS UIN'
they especially have the price fixed In
of the National Press club of Washing their minds. Perhaps, psychologically
ton I nm instructed to give you this speaking, they are stronger minded
ring."
than the house treasurer. Then they
As he utterel the word ‘‘ring” Mr. <lo get what they want, and he never
Decker rapped the bell smartly and questions It. But the average man Is
placed It on the table.
not. The treasurer is trained in ticket
It was plainly to be seen that tlie selling. It Is bis dally routine, while
Englishman was taken aback. After a It is an occasional act on the man’s
good deal of hemming and hawing he part. Hence lie Is fortified for the pub
replied:
lic, nnd the latter Is not for him, and
“Mr. Decker and members of the Na so when the people stop up, especially
tional Press club, words fail me. I am if it Is rather late aud there is some
overwhelmed. With respect to this thing of a rush, a clever ticket man
gift, which I am pleased to receive, I .can easily get tho extra price out of
suppose that Mr. Decker, as was only them for a higher selling seat
natural In the embiwrassment of the
How does he do It? I.argely by the
moment, for wo uewspnper men are power of suggestion. He Implies that
notoriously poor speakers. Iris made a you want it, for instance, when you go
mistake, for he has, ns y >u see. glveu up. In other words, he puts the ques
me a bell Instead of a ring.”—Denver tion as to what priced seat by asking
Republican.
you about the higher ones before he
mentions the lower ones, and when he
The Woman or the Lflouf
does refer to the latter, at your sugges
In our big lire nt winter quarti rs cue tlon, he does it rather apologetically.
of lhe best lions got free and took ref , He has the higher rate tickets In bls
tlge In a barn, writes Samuel II ipkitis hand, and If you do not take them he
Adams In McClure's. The iuli.iblUitlug reaches to the rack for the others, and
cow said something to him that he all the time the line Is waiting, those
didn't like, and the lion killed her. Out back of you are scowling. If not mak
enrne the woman of the house with a ing remarks, and every one within ear
bale stick and sailed Into the lion. Be shot of the window knows that you
ing the king of beasts, the Intruder have refused the higher seats for the
was scared almost to death, because lower priced ones. This Is embarrass
his assailant was not afraid nt nil. At ing. Especially Is It so If a girl Is with
the first blow he retreated, snarling. you, waiting Just outside the rail that
Into the dimmest corner. The woman's separates tlie mob from the line, and
busband arrived with a gun and tiled the chances are 10 to 1 that you will
several shots Into the darkness. Re take the cue, involuntarily, and pay a
sult, he destroyed a piece of property quarter more, when you had no Inten
worth hundreds of dollars, when by tion of doing so when you appronched
merely shutting the barn door lie the clever man in the box.
would have kept the animal perfectly
That is one way. It doesn’t require
hartnlras until we could have got to any falsehood. It does require a good
him. Presently the trainer came bur knowledge of human nature. Some men
rylDg up.
wouldn't “stand for" that. They would
“Have you seen anything of a lion in ' be offended, and it might hurt the
house. That Is for the treasurer to
your barn?”
“Lion!” screeched the woman. "I beware. He must “size up” his cus
tomers and act accordingly.
thought It was n dog.”
Over she went in a dead faint nnd cut ’ There Is a great gain In time In sell
her bead open. What does the husband ing without a chart. A man will then
do but want damages for her Injuries step up and ask for a "good seat”
Running
nnd that after killing our high priced about a certain place.
animal. Well, lie didn't get nny dam through his lists, the seller finds him
something very near there, and be Is
ages.
satisfied. That one man Is finished In
a few seconds. It would take minutes
Helpless.
4
H. C. Barnabee, the veteran actor, | If the sheets were there. Time Is im
lay disabled from a fall and listened , portant when tlie orchestra Is playing
to tlie condolences of a dramatic critic. and the curtain about to go up.
Still further, the absence of a chart
“For years and years." the writer
said, “you haven't missed a perform- j enables the seller to "dress" bls house,
ance. Now, lu re you He. helpless ns a provided the sale Is light, and to keep
out “singles" If it Is heavy. “Singles"
corpse.”
“As helpless as a corpse,” said Mr. nre scats left alone when tlie adjoining
Barnabee. “or us helpless as two inc pairs have been selected from a chart.
brlates of whom I heat'll the other day. "Singles" are hard to sell because very
"These two men had dined together few persons attend a theater alone. Al
and after dinner had sat too long over most all seats are sold In pairs. A
their coffee, tlieir liquor. tl*clr brandy I treasurer with a bunch of “singles” on
and so on. When It can e time for them i his bands, even with a house threaten
to go home they were In u very bail ; ing to sell out, is “up against It,” for
way, helpless. In fact. They leaned , often be will lose sales that would
on one another, going with linked I have meant capacity but for the fact
arms, but each, as a reed to I an on. ; that he cannot place a couple In ad
joining seats, though he may have sev
was rotten.
“Finally they fell, and, with a loud ' eral odd ones left.
"Dressing" a bouse is the avoidance
splash, they rolled into a full gutter.
A police officer appeared nnd grabbed ■ of this condition In one sense, but it
applies to light houses generally. When
the upper man by the collar.
“ ‘No, no. Save my friend. Never a show Is not doing well It Is up to the
mind me, I cun sn lm '
> boy office to. .make tba bou«« lonk.f’i!’
Express.
even though It be only partly solid,
lie does this by scattering the crowd.
JT» Barned Wood.
Instead of sailing a section solid and
“There Is tin old negro down In my leaving adjoining sections vacant he
tiwa,”—tell .lolisr Slir-tp
asHx m few iicre. a it-w there, iiud tuns
"w ho did me n sen Ice, and I wanted the empty spaces are not concentrated.
Men usually dress a house from the
to reward him, so I snid:
" ‘Uncle, which shall 1 give you. a center out. They will sell a good part
of the center section, scattering, and
ton of coal or a bottle of whisky?'
" ‘Foah de Lawd, Massa John.' he re then will work out on the left and
plied. ’you all sborely knows I burn right. This is because seats on the ex
treme edge of the house are not so
wood.’ "
good, and people expect them to be va
Senator llonr's Fplarnni.
cant except In a heavy house anyhow
The late Reca tor Hoar said of his nnd do not notice them so soon. Tie
dead friend, the let" Senator Davis of knows bls house like n book, and he
Minnesota. “No spari: from h!s train knows early In the day whether or not
was ever a cinder In tl.e eye of a he will have a crowd. Hence he acts
friend.”_______________
accordingly.—Kansas City Journal.
Mniric In Art.
!To Choice Tn the Matter.
There Is a magic in the word that
"And what did Jane say about me?"
makes men. even when they are so
“Well, I'd just as soon tell you. June
crass and Ignorant that they don't ■aid she thought yon were strictly hon
know the meaning of It, profess a love est.”
for art—Chicago Record-Herald.
"Tbat's'nlce of Jane."
“Yes. Rhe said you didn't know
A b«r ntinl ntletl.
enough to be anything else.”—Cleve
The Groom I can't see that check land Plain Dealer.
your fnther placed among the wedding
prsaeuts. The Bride—raps Is so ab-
No Free Advice,
■entmfnded! He lit his cigar with it.
Patient—Doctor, what do you do
when you have n cold In the head?
Our enemies are our outward con- Doctqy Well madam, I sneeze moat
»clences.—Sha kespea re.
of the time.
»