BANDON RECORDER.
ENGLISH DOCTORS’ FEiS.
They
Are Hetfulated hy the
Cull«« <*f rU>*t«-iui||to
Boill
Tbe MpA*<' inlist* must I m * divided luto
two distinct classes, tbe aurgeo® prop
er hik I tli« pure physician. Th» former
unquestionably gets big 5« ‘n full»
to bis nitututiou. Tbe fumous surgeon
bus only to name bls fee to tbe mil
lionaire with appendtritla. With tbe
fear of death before bin eye» be will
write bls check gladly. When he has
recovered he will often grumble if be
does not bon at A younger aud less
known man will perform the same op
eration for a tithe of the cost, but the
public, with death staring them In the
face, will have the man with tbe big
name, regardless of expense.
Hut the pure physician Is an entirely
different matter. His fees are stand
ardized not by act of parliament, but
by that autocratic body, the Royal
College of Physicians. His fees for
consultation at bls own bouse are
fixed at 2 guineas the first visit and a
guinea for each subsequent one. For
consultations away from home he re
ceives a fee at tbe calculated rate of
two-thirds of a guinea a mile. Elstree,
twelve miles out of town, is Ipso facto
8 guineas, Liverpool (201 miles) Is 134
guineas, and so on pro ratu. But It
must be remembered that nowadays
all the big provincial centers have
their own specialists, and the town
man Is very seldom sent for unless he
be one of the very biggest names and
the case desperute and rich.
if the physlduu should accept more
he transgresses that professional fe
tich, ‘•medical etiquette," and is brand
ed a quack by his less lucky brethren.
Moreover, when he arrives at a suf
ficient standing In the ranks of his pro
fession the Royal College of Physi
cians will not elect him to their all im
portant fellowship, the crowning quali
fication uud high water mark of his
calling.—London .Mail.
MEASURING TIME.
Methods lined Before the Advent of
Clock« and Watch««.
Probably the oldest method of de
termining the time of day was by the
■uudlul, but other devices have been
used for ages, including the water
clock, the burning wick and the hour
glass tilled with sand. Popular legend
attributes to King Alfred the Invention
of the water clock, but long before his
time It was In use by the Egyptians
and in Judea, Babylon, Chaldea and
Phoenicia. Tbe contrivance for meas
uring time by means of water appears
to have consisted of a basin filled with
water and exposed In some niche or
corner of a public place. At the ex
treme end of the vessel was a spout
or tap from which trickled tbe liquid
drop by drop into a receiver having on
Its inside marks for indicating tbe
hours of the day and night.
In parts of southern India there was
used a thin copper bowl about five
inches In diameter and rather deeper
than half a sphere, having a very
small hole at tbe bottom. The bowl,
placed in a vessel containing water
and floating thereon, gradually filled.
At the expiration of an arranged in
terval it sunk, and a boy or another
watcher then struck a gong and thus
announced tbe time. It showed the
lapse of periods of forty-five minutes
with tolerable accuracy, but the time
varied with the temperature of the wa
ter. It was possible by tbe introduc
tion of a cylinder containing a floating
piston which worked on a cog wheel
to indicate tbe hours.
Plato introduced the clepsydra Into
Greece. It was used by the Romans
also. The king of Persia is said to
have presented Charlemagne with a
water clock of bronze Inlaid with gold.
Water clocks were used up to the sev
enteenth century. Even with the In
troduction of the pendulum water serv
ed ‘‘as the motor nnd the pendulum as
a regulator.”
DEEP SEA LEVEL.
Its Changes lllnstraled In the Cane
of the Mediterranean.
Changes in the level of the sea are
well shown In the case of the Mediter
ranean. M. Ph. Negris In a brochure
presented to the Academy of Seieuce
furnishes Interesting Information on
this point, it being apparent that the
sea lias greatly increased in depth as
compared to ancient times. Formerly
a bridge 3,000 feet long united Leucate
to the continent. Today It is sub
merged. but the foundations of the
work were discovered eleven feet be
neath the surface. It may therefore
be concluded that since the construe
tlon of the bridge the sen hns risen nt
this point over nine feet.
In the bay of Atnphlssn, Greece,
there hns been observed a mole that is
orer nine feet beneath the surface. At
Rlienee there has been found a com
pletely submerged dock, evidently of
Roman construction, the depth of the
sea above the dock at places being
fully nine feet.
From all of these facts one may con
clude thnt there hns tnken place an Im
portant Increase In the depth of the
sen since the "Roman "period, the Medi
terranean having risen at least nine
feet In about 2,000 years.
The Steam K.itlne.
T'.-..- vtiii <r.g!-..c wmKmie perfect
ly automatic by a lazy boy who was
employed to open and close the valves.
IVeeirlng to play instead of to work, he
tied a string from one part of the ma
chine to nnother, thus making the en
gine itself attend to Its own business.
Ils was never beard of again, aud even
his name Is unknown, but a perfect en
gine was the outcome of his laziness.
•ae Fhaae »t lMaleaa Ktlqaette.
Mexican etiquette Is peculiar, ns is
shown by the. following quotation
from a letter written by a Spanish wo
man while traveling In that country:
‘‘There Is one piece of etiquette entire
ly Mexican, nor can I Imagine whence
derived, by which It Is ordained that
all new arrivals, whatever their rank,
foreign ministers not excited, must,
in solemn print, give notice to every
fsmlly of any consideration In tlie cap
ital that they have arrived and put
ttietnMlveq and th<4r homes nt the di«
p<«ltlon. of tbs rsslAents. falling In
*hlch etlqmete the newly «rriv<al fam
ily Wilk tenets uonvV *tsl and un
too««”
‘‘How do young men spend their
evenings in San Francisco, Polly?”
asked an anxious mother, whose son
had accepted a positiou in one of the
big de|>artment stores in this city. He
had never been away from home before,
except for a little outing into the coun
try during his vacations, and had
always been a home Imy in every sense
of the word. She knew he would be
homesick and possibly discouraged at
the first. He had no relatives or even
acquaintances, and naturally the little
mother was worried. She feared, too,
that he might pick up with undesir
able friends, and would get to spending
his earnings in a way contrary to his
home training, so the question, ‘‘How
do young men spend their evenings in
San Francisco?” was a very natural
one, and one that lay very close to her
heavy heart. Instantly my mind re
verted to four young men, all alsiut the
age of her ls>y, who lived in my vicin
ity. Not a single bad habit do any of
the four |si»»e»s. They are all country
raised boys ami never knew one another
until they met in a business way in the
stores where they are employed. A
happier, more contented four would be
hard to find. None of them make very
large salaries, yet they make the best
use of what they do receive, are not ex
travagant, and manage to put by some
thing each month. They clubbed to
gether and rented an “assembly hall,”
in other words, a large sunny basement
room in a g<s>d and respectable part of
the city. It was nicely furnished and
the landlady t<s»k out the double bed
and put four couches in, giving tbe big
room a much more comfortable and
homelike look. They are covered with
pretty sofa pillows, that are tumbled oft’
in a promiscuous heap when the tired
laddies are ready for bed. All of them
are fond of music, so they have rented
a piano and how they do enjoy it. The
whole neighborhood knows all the new
“rag-time” music as well as the old,
catchy melodies. None of them know
a note, but play by ear entirely. They
practice more diligently than most
girls whose fathers are paying exorbi
tant prices for their musical instruc
tion. “They drum on that piano every
minute they are in the house,” said the
landlady, “but someway or other no
one complains, but rather enjoy it than
otherwise.” Frequently they invite
some of their musical acquaintances in
and have a regular musical treat, Isith
vocal and instrumental, al| singing
with a will and doing their part toward
the enjoyment and success of the
evening.
They don’t stop at music, for twice a
month a debating society they belong
to meets in their “den,” as they are
pleased to call it, and discuss the politi
cal situation. Each one must have his
speech ready, or pay a fine, and it is
astonishing how few tines are collected.
Their speeches would be a credit many
times to wiser and older heads. They
show careful study and much thought
on the subject. They do not limit
themselves to the (tolitical situation
always, but choose current events to
discuss pro and con. After the debate
they have music and recitations, and
taking it all in all they have passed an
evening pleasantly and instructively.
Twice a month they go to some good
theater; and you may rest assured that
they do not go alone, but manage to
t- ke some one else’s sister aloHg for
< ompany.
The Young Men’s Christian Associa
tion does much t »wards making young
men, who are strangers in our city, feel
at home, and are ready and willing
to extend a hand of welcome to all
» rangers within our gates. By becom
ing members, they soon become ac
quainted and are given all the privileges
of this institution. The reading rooms
the gymnasiums, where they are ♦ -.light
everything in physical culture by the
L ¿st instructors they can procure. They
soon feel at home in the lieautiful and
commodius building, which Y. M. C.
A. own and which is a haven indeed
’or strangers. The free library is an
other place where young men delight
to while away many an hour pleasantly
and profitably. Home Isiys go astray
when they find themselves alone in the
city, and with no friends to reach out a
helping hand, but the majority do not
forget the home-training and remem
ber the last words of an anxious little
mother, who waits at home to hear
pleasant tidings of her absent boy. Hhe
may worry, but her mother-heart for
bids her losing faitli in him. He knows
this and the memory of it will keep
him iiôm getting into trouble, many
times.
There is one habit that boys fall into
when they come to San Francisco that
Is not In keeping with -thvir home
training—that is tHeir being conspicu
ous for their absence in the church ami
Sunday-school. They may have lieen
regular attendants of church, morning
and evening and teachers in a Bunday-
school, but 'tis passing strange how
soon they forget it all in this city.
Many of them commence going, all
right, ami the first few Sundays find’
them regular attendants of the church
of the denomination they are in t’’e
habit of attending at home. Gradually
theydrlft away and mingle with friends
who claim that as they have worked
every day in the store, or office, etc.,
they are entitled to their Sunday and
usually go out on some of the various
excursions by water ami rail that take
)4ace Sunday after Bunday, thousands
of people taking ad vantage of excursion
rates to get out into the country. If
the ^people who leave the city every
Sunday, lient on pleasure» should all
attend church, it would crowd the
various churches to standing room
Eastern people claim that < alifornians
are a non-church-goiiig people, and
Isuie their conclusions on the sight of
many empty pews and the crowded
boats and trains leaving the city every
Sunday morning. It ha» to lie a severe
storm that will keep many of the ex
cursionists or Sunday visitors at home.
S|»-aking of excursions reminds me
of an excursion over the California
Northern Railway to Ukiah and Willlt
recently. Kueh a tremendous crowd of
sight-seers, all eager to see this land of
promise, traversed by this road, which
has already thrown oft' its somber russet
garb of summer and donned its mantle
of green, while the forests are lighting
up canyons, valleys and mountain sides
with their autumn tints, that nature
has touched with her magic brush.
Already there are signs of an abund
ance of holly-lierries always so sugges
tive of the Xmas tide when everyone
wants their wreaths, garlands and
bunches of holly-lierries scattered
through the homes, brightening up
everything, and throwing a spirit of
cheerfulness ami goisl-will into the
liearts of all with their ruddy glow.
Usually w hen the summer visitors have
come trooping back to the city after
their outing, it means a falling otl’ in
tlie travel. Not so this year, however,
for as Polly predicted several months
ago, that people would gradually find
out that tile most delightful time to
visit the country is after the first rains
when the dust is laid, the crops are all
harvested, people are at leisure to enter
tain their friends, and show them the
beauties of the country at this season
of the year. There is a freshness and
beauty, a keen crispness in tlie air that
is perfectly exhilarating. Then again
it is the crowning season for the liim-
rods and anglers. The hunters of the
toothsome venison have had their day,
but there are plenty of wild ducks,
quail, etc., to tempt them from the
musty ledgers and other vocations that
would make life monotonous enough,
if it were not for these breathing »¡»ells
that takes you into the heart of nature.
Those who have found that the fall is
really the most charming part of the
year to visit the country have learned
a valuable lesson, and one that they are
generous enough to communicate to
their friends.
BRIEF REVIEW.
The Oldest Inhabitant.
Probably the oldest living animal on
the globe is on exhibition at the Louisi
ana Purchase Exposition. It is not a
human lieing, since man rarely passes
thecentury line. It is not an elephant,
which frequently exceeds a hundred
years of life. It is not a whale, which
lives to no one knows what age, but
which is not easily captured and ex
hibited. This “oldest inhabitant” of
the glolie is a giant tortoise that weighs
970 pounds, ami is known to be 150
years of age. This Seychelles tortoise
is a monster. It weighs as much as a
good sized horse. Two children can
easily ride on its back. It possesses ex
traordinary lifting strength. While in
the World’s Fair express office it grew
impatient and proceeded to break its
way out of its heavy cage, smashing
!’x8 inch timliers with ease.
Live Toad Found in Strata oi Coal.
Paleontologists are deeply interested
in a remarkable discovery made in the
coal mines at Renton, Wash., twelve
miles from Seattle. Ina solid strata of
coal an immense toad was discovered.
It was alive, but when carried to the
surface, 300 feet, lived only a few hours.
Dozens of miners saw the toad, but its
scientific value did not ap|>eal to them,
and no attempt was made to take accu
rate observations or even care for the
remains after life had become extinct.
The University of Washington lias
taken up the matter, and an attempt
will be made to recover the toad and
collect all jKissibie facts. If the size of
the entomtied curiosity has any mean
ing it must have been a patriarch, a»
report has it that a bucket was hardly
'urge enough to hold it.
New Cotton Plant.
If the expectation of experts of the
Agricultural Department are realized,
at the end of the present season the cot
ton isill weevil will have lieen dealt an
other hard blow. The experts think
they have developed a plant hardy
enough to withstand, not only tlie on
slaught of the weevil, but to resist “root
rot” and many other diseases that at
tack the white staple. The new plant,
with 125 other species of cotton, is now
under cultivation at the department
experiment station in Texas. Whether
the plant will come up to the expecta
tions cannot Is* told until the cotton
season is done, and an opportunity hns
lieen given to compare results.
INSULT THEIR*TEETH.
Thai's M ka< People Uo Who Uo Mat
Maatieale lhelr Food.
People w ItSotwalhiw their food whole
ire iusultiug their teeth. The teeth are
there to pertorm their duty, aud the
»tie who falls to use them is implying
that they are not fft for the duty as
signed them. Again, he is lettiug them
,’et rusty by disuse.
Don’t favor the teeth until it is nec
essary. Give them plenty of work to
do. Eat erqrts, aud when eating meat
«pare uot the work of tbe teeth.
Few people will eat food from dirty
fingers, yet hosts of men, women and
l-hildreu eat food with poorly kept
leetli. What kind of care of the stom-
uch is this?
Dressing tables and vest pockets are
tilled with nail files, but the silk thread
or the rubber ba ml for removing parti
cles of food from between the teeth is
more essential. If the person who neg
lects his teeth would look often in the
glass and smile broadly he would know
how tils greetings affect his friends.
Tills is not vanity. It would remove
from many every particle of conceit.
Any smile is spoiled by illy kept teeth.
Brush the teeth before and after eat
ing. Carry tbe brush in a pocket or
handbag.
Use the silk thread or rubber band
after meals. It can be curried with the
brush.
WEEPING WILLOWS.
The Corloua Manner of Their Intro»
ductiou Into Eugland.
The Salix Babylonica or Willow of
Babylon, the English weeping willow.
Is a native of the Levant, tlie coast of
Persia and other places in the east.
Tbe manner of its introduction into
England Is curious and bus been de-
scrlbed:
Pope, tbe poet, having received a
present of Turkey tigs, observed that a
twig of the banket In which they had
been packed was putting out a young
green shoot. This he planted in his
garden where It grew into a fine tree,
and from this original stock all our
weeping willows have descended.
This species of willow is generally
planted by a still pool, to which it is an
appropriate ornament, and when, in
misty weather, drops of water are seen
distilling from the extremities of its
branches nothing could be more de
scriptive than the title it has obtained
of the "weeping willow.”
It is sometimes called Pope's willow,
and the name Napoleon’s willow has
also been given to It, because a tree of
this species overshadowed the emper
or's tomb at St. Helena.—London
Globe.
THE MINIATURE.
Blow the Term Came to Mean a Very
Small Portrait.
Miniature painting originated in tbe
practice of illuminating manuscript
books, when small pictures were intro
duced with the Initial letters or upon
the borders. These Initial letters were
usually painted In red, Latin minium;
hence these small pictures were termed
miuiatura.
After the invention of printing and
engraving this art entered upon a new
phase. Copies in small of celebrated
pictures were made, and the demand
was particularly great for portraits,
and so the term miniature came to
mean a very small portrait. One of the
most famous miniature painters was
Holbein, and Samuel Cooper, a Lon
doner, was also an expert. Milton sat
to him, and it is said that Louis XIV.
offered £150 for his picture of Oliver
Cromwell.
Photography checked miniature paint
ing for a time, but of late there has
been a notable revival of tbe art. In
olden time miniatures were often paint
ed on vellum or on copper or silver
plates. Now ivory Is the medium com
monly employed.
Rather Clever Bird«.
An agriculturists' paper tells this
yarn: A poultry fancier who kept
some fowls In a field beside a railway
line fed the fowls on wheat, but the
sparrows would come by tbe score and
steal it from them. Tbe fancier did
not know what to do to stop them. At
last he decided to feed the fowls on
Indian maize, thinking that It would
be too large tor the sparrows to swal
low. He went again next day, and to
his surprise there were Just as many
sparrows as before. They were taking
their corn in their beaks and laying It
on the rails, waiting for a train to go
over it and crush it so that they could
ent it.
Mosart's Shall.
In the middle of Salzburg stands the
small house in which Mozart was born.
It contains two old pianos and many
relics belonging to the composer,
whose skull Is preserved in a glass
case placed In tbe center of the room
In which he first saw the light. The
skull Is all that remains of Mozart,
whose body could not be Identified in
the mass of remains that filled the
common paupers’ grave wherein be
had been buried at Vienna.
RUSSIAN WOLFHOUNDS.
rb«r Are Known as the Aristocrats
of the Canine Fatally.
Moral support of a great cause with ’ The misfits of life, the square pegs In
out financial contributions is like faith the round holes. cauAe.all the trouble.
When a aqrtare peg gets Into a Square
without works.
hole we think It an example of genius.
Sometimes a man is known by the —Robert Barr.
company he shakes.
It Is but poor eloquence which only
Out of every four persons who die in shows thnt the srator can talk.—Reyn
Ixtndon one dies “on public charity.” olds.
Persistent people begin tbelr success
Failure may make a gissi foundation where others end tn failure.—Eggle
for succès*
ston.
II Was I v lu Him.
*T was walking along the Strand,
Lomlou,” said u Bostou business man,
"win'll 1 was stopissl by a dude ,>f a
feller who had the head of bls cane ir
his mouth, but removed It long enough
to say:
“‘Aw. now, but I beg pawdon. don
cher knaw.’
“‘Do you. really?' 1 asked.
“' 'Pou honor, I do. Yes, beg paw-
don.'
“‘I can hardly realize it.'
“ 'But I do, doncher knaw.’
“ 'You actually and truly and with
out any coercion on my part beg my
pardon, do you?' I asked.
" 'Bah Jove, but I do, doncher knaw.
“ 'And had you as soon stats yqui
reasons?'
'• T had. You are carrying your cam
In your right hand, doncher see? I beg
pawdon—really I do.’
“'Yes, I see, doncher knaw, and
what would happen if 1 carried It It
my left? Answer me. please. What
would happen?'
“ ‘Bali Jove, but I don't knaw,* he
replied, as a startled look clime Into lilt
face, ‘but I beg your pawdon, doucliei
knaw, and 1'11 ask young Lud Sudley
next time we meet.' ”
Bey o.id uuy question tbe aristocrat
of tbe canine family Is the Russian
wolfhound, otherwise the borzoi or
barzoi, w hl< li is tbe Russian uame for
coursing dog. There is a refined ele
gance coupled with the indication of
Speed and strength about the Russian
wolfhound w iiieh no other breed pos
sesses.
in western Europe be Is merely the
ornamental companion that he is in
eastern America. In the coyote sectlou
of our continent be can he made as
Useful as lie is in Russia, aud to assist
In clearing off that scourge of the cat
tle ranches. When tbe borzoi was first
brought to this country he was hailed
as a natural born wolf destroyer, and
we started business under the impres
sion that all one had to do was to let
a borzoi see u coyote and the latter's
lentil warrant was as good as executod.
Tlie result was a natural failure, be
cause, like a bird dog. the wolfhound
must be trained to the work. Amer
ican purchasers have uo occasion to
worry about that, however, for the
dog's high courage is the result of edu
cation and encouragement; without it
they are docile aud obedient aud fit
companions for the ladies of tbe house,
a role which they are pre-emineutly
Maybe So.
fitted to till by reasou of their hand
"Don't you suppose, Mr. Glddums,"
some and unique appearance.—Country said the man with the pale brow and
Life In America.
the thoughtful eyes, "that there Is
some psychological reason for the de
clining of popular interest in tbe sport
MONSTER SPIDERS.
of wheeling?"
Some of the lllr<l Eaters Are Nearly
“Seems to me more as If the reason
us Illg as a Hat.
would be blcycleogical,” replies Mr.
The bird eatiug spiders of Soutli Glddums, with an offhand air.—Chlca
America, Africa aud Australia are go Tribune.
beasts of prey worthy of their tropical
A Clean Record.
Jungles. Their appearance Is repulsive.
"Pre worked for the party faithfully
They are of Immense size. Some
which have been caught have been for fifteen years,” said the office seek
nearly as big as a rat. They are of a er, “and in all that time I never once
dark, dingy color, either quiet black or asked for an office”—
"My dear sir," Interrupted the leader,
brown verging upon black, and the
hair with which they are covered is "that's a glorious record. I wouldn't
thiuk of urging you to break It. Keep
mixed with short, coarse bristles.
Like other beasts of prey of tropical It up.”— Philadelphia Press.
forests, they are essentially creatures
of the night. During the day many of
them hide in some natural crevice In
the ground. The more Indolent or am
bitious pick out a promising hole In a
fallen trunk or in a living tree and
line It with a soft, delicate web. Oth
ers elaborately spin for themselves a
long tube in which they lie concealed
throughout the day.
Curiously enough, they reserve their
spinning powers for their nest build
ing, entirely disdaining the use of webs
for the trapping of their prey. Their
feeding time Is at night. They go out
to seek their food, prepare to leap upon
ami devour any living creature that
they come across. Their name conies
from the fact that they have been
found In the act of devouring smnll
newly killed birds clutched closely be
tween tbelr hairy claws.
THE FIRST DIRECTORY.
It Wan I mnuim I In Knicluixl lu Queen
Elisabeth’« Relic».’
The first directory dates from 1595,
Queen Elizabeth's reign. A copy of
it is in the British museum, entitled
The Names of All Such Gentlemen
if Acconipts as Were Residing Within
the City of Ixmilon.”
The next does not seem to have ap
peared for nearly a hundred years. It
was called "A Collection of the Names
af Merchants Living In and A^oiit the
City of London.” This was printed for
Lee. Lombard street, in 1G77. The
names were arranged alphabetically,
1,790 in number. In a separate list
were tlie names of no fewer than for
ty-four bankers under tills heading.
"Goldsmiths who keep running cashes,”
twenty-three of them being then In
Lombard street. This book contains
the name of the father of I'ope, the
poet.
The first directory, expressly so call
ed, was compiled by Brown in 1732,
who soon issued It annually and real
ized through It a large fortune. The
earliest postortlce directory appeared
in 1800, and successive volumes have
been brought out yearly ever since.—
London Telegraph.
A Philanthropic Joke.
First a halfpenny then a gold piece
gave considerable amusement to a
small crowd in the Rue Iiaunou, Paris.
The former coin was placed on the
pavement and lay untouched for an
hour and n half before It was picked
up by nn old lady, who carefully placed
It In her reticule, despite the derisive
cheers which were accorded her by
those who were watching.
An American gentleman then placed
a twenty franc piece on the ground, and
ns pedestrian after pedestrian passed
without seeing It, they were startled
by the uproarious laughter from doors
and windows. They stopped short,
looked confused and then hurried away
with Indignant glances nt the merry
makers.
Tlie louis was nt last picked up by a
bent and feeble old man. who hobbled
off with Ills treasure amid enthusiastic
cheers.—London Mail.
Doing Nolhlng.
Weary Willie I'm a wlctlm of po
lice persecution, lady, dat's what I
nm. Why, de first time I was arrest
ed I wasn’t doin’ nothin’ nt all. Mrs.
Goodart—Poor fellow. Here's a dime
for yen And-libit.Jtiwrgi* did tbiy
Clark Wanted the Penny.
trump up against you? Weary Willie
Senator Clark was in Chicago the —Vagrancy.- Philadelphia Press.
other day, and gave a good illustration
Mrlplng Alons Bhe Joke.
of how rich men look after the pennies.
"These,” said the epicure to tbe
He visited the business section of the bright Philadelphia girl, "are snails. I
city, and entered an elevator in one of •oppose Philadelphia people don't eat
the skyscrapers. I n some way a cent them for fear of cannibalism.”
fell from his pocket and dropped to the
"Oh. no,” was the answer. ‘‘It Isn't
floor. Although there were many that. We couldn't catch them.”—
other business men in the elevator, Washington Star
Senator Clark made the boy take the
The hand that has a long time held
car down again so that he could pick
a violet doth not soon forego its fra
up his money.
grance,
HUMOR OF THE HOUR’ CHOICE
The Speaker*« Mnarnetlnm.
Paterfamilias has come, soft shod,
Into the parlor and hail found matters
much as he might have expected con
sidering thnt Reggie Addelpalt and tho
diiq-btcr of tbe house ware tbe’-iv clone
and that be had sneaked In.
“Ah."’ exclaimed the father, nnd bis
remark was singularly well chosen.
‘‘I—I—I was only rehearsing n new
recitation I had Just learned.” stam
mered Reggie.
“So I suppose,” said paterfamilias,
"but the thing I objected to was your
peculiar method of 'holding your audi
ence.'"—Baltimore American.
Very Considerate.
Careful Husband By tbe bye, I no
ticed a mistake of 5 shillings In the
butcher's bill this morning. I.aura.
Wife—Then I had better drive around
there and see about It. Careful Hus
band—I was thinking of that, but the
mistake Is In our favor. Wife—Oh.
then we had better take no notice of It
We might got some one Into trouble,
you know.—Tit-Bits.
Starting the Row.
MISCELLANY
The Gemuluiu.
AH things considered, the geranium
Is our best plaut for winter flowering.
It blooms freely and constantly lu most
instances and udapts Itself to the cou
diU.ui» preiulllug lu tbe ordinary liv
ing room m ire readily than almost any
oiG*plant I have any knowledge of.
Aa<l ft require* very little care. Ita
ability to take care of Itself Is one of
the stroug arguments lu its favor, espe
cially with the amateur who 1* di»
trustful ()f bls skill lu the mauagemeut
of pianta that lusist oh having tbelr
peculiarities humored.
it lias little to boast of lu the way of
attractive foliage—though a plaut well
set with vigorous, healthy tollage Is
far from being unhiiMHOme-but it has
a right to pride Itself oi.tbc b(.nmy of
its flowers. Some of tbe si.,b,t Vilrb,
ties are » i exceedingly brlllla., (ba(
they actually seem to impart a ie»«,..,
of warmth to tbe observer. The lltft.
child who declared that auntie's gera
niums were "on Are” was conscious of
this suggestion of heat lu the iuteuslty
of color which characterizes some of
tlie most richly colored aorta.—Lippin
cott’s Magazine.
Hetty Grean’a Thrift.
"1 consider that I owe all I am lu life
to the principles lustilled Into me by
my father,” said Hetty Green, richest
woman In the world, lu a recent Broad
way Magazine Interview. " 'Daughter,'
be repeated again and ugaln, 'cultivate
common sense and Judgment. Learu
bow to manage your brains and you
will kuow how to manage your for
tune. Intelligence is better than Greek
and Latin, ami good morals will stand
by you better than a flue education.’ 1
was just fourteen years old when I
wont to the bank and deposited $25,
my first savings. My father went with
me and was very proud of my thrift,
for it bad cost me some sacriflcig 1
am proml to say that I have added to
that tlrst $25 and haven't yet drawn it
out.
"The trouble with most persons," she
continued, "Is that they want to spend,
but they don’t want to work. No man
or woman in my employ stays awake
until 2 o'clock in tbe morning thinking
out investments. Well, that's how hard
I work.”
Vevetable Ivory.
As the elephant became scarcer it
was found that tile amount of ivory
would lie curtailed to such an extent
as to make It too expensive for practi
cal use. As a matter of fact, however,
there Is still plenty of Ivory for all
practical purposes. This result has
been brought about by tbe discovery
that a very good substitute for the di
minishing ivory Is what Is called vege
table Ivory. The tree from which it Is
obtained is known as tbe Ivory palm,
which produces nuts containing a
milky pulp something like that of the
cocoanut, but which when ripe nnd dry
becomes ns hard as ivory. The nuts
tire covered with a bark almost as bard
as iron, and this covering lias to be re
moved by friction, tlie nuts being
placed In a drum with iron weights
and rapidly revolved until tbe outer
covering Is worn off, when the nuts
are ready for the cutting machine.
China'. Oil Tree.
"Didn’t I see young Jenkins with bls
arm around you?”
"Yes, but we were Just practicing tlie
position for the waltz.”
"Don't you know that?”
"Well, yes, I suppose I do, but I
wanted to be sure.”
Putting II Mildly.
“Did you ever meet any one more
conceited than Bragg Is?”
"Well, there's one thing about him.
He certainly has a loyal tongue."
"A ‘loyal tongue?' ”
"Yes. It's always saying nice things
about its owner.”—Boston Globe.
Too Busy.
Five years ago tbe attention of
American Importers was called to tlie
value as an astringent and drier in
varnish for the liner kinds of furniture
of the product of the Chinese wood oil
tree. Since then two American firms
have established branches at Hankow.
China, for the exportation of the oil,
and one of them has shipped nearly
200,000 gallons since last fall. Because
of the fact that no barrels are manu
factured in the provinces where the
oil tree grows a Hankow firm has im
ported from New York »books for 5,(MX)
barrels and machinery for setting them
up. About n thousand seeds of the oil
tree have been planted In California
and are doing well.—Manufacturer's
Record.
Otherwise—And you actually approve
of gossiping women?
Revenue From Billiard Tables.
Wise- Yes, for this reason: I have
Taxation enables many curious tallies
noticed that a woman who Is always
talking about her neighbors never hns of statistics to be compiled. It would
time to complain of her husband.—De probably puzzle the best of English
statisticians to guess even approxi
troit Free Press.
mately at the number of billiard tnbles
In use In England. There Is no such
Watch«« Him.
She—Why is It a woman never looks difficulty In France, where the billiard
at the man she's marrying when at the table Is a taxed luxury, and Its relative
frequency In communes of all grades
altar?
He—I don’t know, but I do know she of population and wealth Is made the
keeps her eye on him pretty well after subject of calculations as elaborate as
they are ingenious. In all France there
the wedding.—Yonkers Statesman.
are 89,070 billiard tables, divided
In Society.
among 18,(101 communes nnd realizing
Mrs. Hoyle—She was once In society, more than £10,000 In tnxes.—London
but she Isn't now.
Globe.
Mrs. Doyle—What shut her out?
Fl.hlnat br Telephone.
Mrs. Hoyle—She got Into the habit
of going to tbe opera to hear tbe mu A Norwegian has Invented a queer
way of finding out where tbe fish are.
sic.—Town Topics.
A microphone, which Is an instrument
Foresight.
that will catch and transmit the least
“Why do you keep two automo bit of sound. Is lowered Into the water
biles?"
from a fishing smack, and a wire from
"I use the second one to bring along It lends to a telephone aboard the boat.
the things I'm likely to need In keep Now, as the herring, codfish and mack
ing the first one in running order.”— erel schools number thousands and
Baltimore News.
tens of thousands of fish, tlieir passage
through the wnter naturally causes ii
The Aggrieved Party.
rushing sound, which can be heard by
"Ha* jour autcinjbff» friglaagcJ any tlie tishermeri’ af tiie telephone, and
horses ?"
thus they are enabled to lower their
“No,” answered the novice. "But ev nets at the right time and In the right
cry now and then some horse turns I place.
suddenly Into tlie road nnd gives me a 1
scare.”- Washington Star.
Farmer« of tbe United State«.
The 1900 census shows that white
Convenient Ignornnce.
farmers operated 4,970,129 farms In
"How can you tell whether your au this country, with a total of 798.9ffs.187
tomobile Is going faster than the law acres and valued at $19,091,431,889, ex
allows or not?"
clusive of products. Negroes operate
"I can't tell That's one of the beau 746.717 farms. Including 38,233,033
ties of it."—Chicago Record Herald.
acres and vnlm-d at $499.lt»3.734. Indi
an» hnd 19,910 farms, valued at $38,-
More Than All Fino.
230,478; Chinese 1,842 farms, Japanese
"Did you see anything In Italy that 570 and Hawaiian» 480. Of the entire
appealed to you particularly?”
number of farmers 3.149.344 owned
"Yes, tlie beggars.”- New Orleans their farms and 451.515 were part own
Ttmes-Democrat.
ers.
First AU.
Edith—Is It true. Dolly, that Larkin
kissed you before lie picked you up In
that runawny? Dolly Yes. dear; you
know he la studying to be a doctor,
and that was first aid to the Injured
Chicago Record Herald.
Too Much Talk.
t
A Na.4 Taak.
"Don't you think you could lean te
love me?” be said, looking at her wist
fully.
"I'm mis I couldn't.” »he an»wer»«t
decidedly. "I’m a perfect dunce. When
I was at school I never could lenm
anything.”—London Punch.
Browne—To what do you attribute*'
The Dry Part.
Nell—Oh, my! I don't like the shape the troubles of the world? Towne—To
Mr. Pepper—!• don't believe there
of my new gown at all. I wish I knew the mobility of the lower jaw.
was a dry eye In the bouse when the
how to improve It. Belle—Why not let
curtail went down on tbe third act.
some other girl wear it. dear?—Phils
He who is destitute of principle« la Mrs. Pepper—No, but there seemed to
delphla Ledger.
governed by whims—Jacobi.
be the usual number of dry throats.