BANDON RECORDER. HIS FIRST CHECK. The "War the IMeee of Paper "Worried Thomna A. Edition. Thomas A. Edisoupnee told a friend the story of his tirsiTiequaiutanee with any big sum of money. It was when he" was struggling with his earlier in ventions, anil he had about as clear an Idea of the value of a bank cheek as the man in the moon. He had iinal ly sold his patent on the gold and stock indicator to the Western Union Tele graph company and had called at its olliee to close the deal. After a few preliminaries he was given a cheek for $40,000. lie eyed it curiously anil ap peared to be puzzled what to do wit'" it Observing his perplexity. General Lefferts, then president of the Western Union, told him that if he would go U the Bank of America, in Wall street, he could get the cash on his check. "So I started," said Edison, "aftei carefully folding up the check, and went toward Wall street. So uncer tain was 1 In regard to that way of doing business that I thought while on the way that If any man should come up to me and offer me two crisp $1,000 bills for that piece of paper 1 would give him the check very quick ly." On his arrival at the Hank of Amer ica he half tremblingly shoved his check out to the cashier. T latter scrutinized it closely, gave him a piercing glance and said something which Edison, being hard ofvheariug. failed to understand. That was enough. He was fully convinced that his check was not worth $40,000 and again thought as he rushed out of the bank that any man who would give him $2,000 for it could have it. He hurried back to the office of the West ern Union and said he could not get nn.v money. A clerk was sent to the bank with him to identify him. "This man," said the clerk, "is Mr. Thomas A. Edison, to whose order the check Is drawn." "Why. certainly. Mr. Edison." said the cashier. "How would you like your money in what shape?" "Oh. any way to suit the bank; it doesn't make any difference to me. so long as I get my money." Edison was given $40,000 in large bills. After dividing the roll into two wads of $20,000 each he stuffed one Into each trousers pocket and made all speed out of Wall street. The next day he began work on his first New York laboratory. Success. r JAPANESE PROVERBS. There is no miracle in true doctrine. Human life is like the dew of the morning. The fallen blossom never returns to the branch. There is no shore to the bitter sea of IMrth and Death. Never let go the reins of the wild colt of the heart. One confession effaces the sins of even three years. Only by reason of having died doo one enter into life. --.-. With one Lair of a woman you can tether even a great elephant. Even the touching of sleeves in pass ing is caused by some relation in a for mer life. Lafcadio Uearn's "In Ghost- ly Japan." IVaahlnsrton'ii Father. My father, Augustine, has been de scribed as a good planter and a man of energy. I apprehend that he was of a serious tendency, for Lawrence, my brother, once gave me to understand that most of the few books at Wake field were religious, but whether this was so or not I do not know. Like some of the rest of us. my father had a high and quick temper, which, as he used to say, he had to keep muzzled. T 1 . . . . i rememuer ueing ternned at seeing him in a storm of anger because the clergyman who was to have baptized my sister Mildred was too much in liquor to perform the ceremony. From S. Weir Mitchell's "The Youth of Washington" In Century. Pretty Cutoin of Japan. Japanese ladies are like the French In their love of social intercourse and conversation. They pay fewer visits, but stay infinitely longer, always two or three hours and sometimes a whole day. They are received by the maid, who places a large silk cushion for them to rest upon, and much time is spent in detailed inquiries concerning each other's family. There is no spe cial calling day In Japan. They visit when their fancy takes them, and they never go empty handed to a friend's house. The gifts are usually fruit or flowers or perhaps a fresh fish, and whatever they take is always dainti lywrapped In a little box of paper or wood. Neffleeled Unr For Papa. Beautiful Ernestine was sobbing as though her heart would break. ' "What is it, dear?" asked her girl friend. "W-why," she sobbed, "I t-told Jack, after he had proposed, to go up and see papa." "What of that?" "Why, they started playing cards, and now he goes up to see papa every night." Hare the Dettlre. Make up your mind to be educated, and you are already half educated. A Btrong desire to be or to do any partic ular thing, accompanied by effort, mul tiplies your power and throws wide the door of opportunity that leads to the accomplishment of your purpose Success. Almont. Hinks I always like to dine with a man who knows how to order a din ner. Ilinks Yes; it's almost as good ns dining with a man who knows how to pay for one. Only a IIckI mil iter. Job showed the little round .ore spot on his arm to his physician. "What Is that, doctor?" he usked. "That is a boll," pronounced the medical man after a brief examination. "A boll!" echoed Job. "Well, that's a new one on me!" Later, however, there were others on blm. Chicago Tribune. LLY LARKIN Polly would like to impress upon every girl in the land who cannot write their bank account in many figures, the value of King able to do their own dressmaking. The girl who is gifted in the use of the needle and takes to sew ing as readily as a duck to water, or who has Imvii taught to do her own mending ami the art of making her own suits for any and all occasions is thrice blessed. She is independent, and if she has ever to resort to her own resources the knowledge of how to wield needle and scissors with happy results will stand her in good need. In the second place she can be more eco nomical than her less fortunate friend, who has to go to the dressmaker for everything she wears. In the third place she has the advantage of being able to make old material over so as to look like new. Discarded costumes that she would not can' to rip up and take to a dressmaker, feeling it scarcely worth theexpeii.-e, by a little ingenuity and combining it with something else, she can have a new costume at .-diort in tervals, while those who have never learned the art of sewing and who are limited in spending money, must Ik satisfied with one or two new suits, a year. 1 1 is all folly for a girl to say she will never learn to sew for fear she may have it to do some day, ami as long as she knows nothing about it, it will not le expected of her. She is losing more than she gains in the long run, and she will go without a great many of the dainty, pretty little effects that mean so much to a girl's wardrobe. Nearly every girl expects to have a home of .lerown onie day, ami if that is their intention they owe it to t hems-elves ami their home to know something about sewing, even if they never have to do their own dressmaking. Thev know then when the garment is all right and can point out where the seamstress is at fault in her work. If she i a novice nany times she is taken advantage of and accepts her .-uit di.-atis-fied with the result but unable to point out the blunder. nother thing Folly would like to ee girls do would le to organize a club for the betterment of themselves. It would shut out the slanderer ami evil gossi per from membership, no one with a propensity for such amusement U-ing eligible for membership. This club would bar the members from telling or listening to coarse joki or qiiotionahle Tories, that is. stories and anecdotes they would not be willing to repeat to their mothers. It wouln veto loud and iHM-tefous laughing and talking that always places a girl in a conspicu ous and uiieuviaole position among Iran gel's. Friends and those who love us alway- overlook all these habits and excuse tin-in by saying, "Oh, it's only their wav: thev don't, mean anything by it," but thev jar on the sensitive ear-of strangers who, as a rule, judge their new acquaintances by their fust impressions and are not prone to be any too charitable in their judgment.' The rules of this new club should exact from it- members a promise t drop all trashy literature and confine them selves to the reading of good book Last, but not least, I would like to see them encourage originality in bright ami witty livings and sparkling con versation. Make it a study and oiler a reward for the brightest and most orig inal thought, the wittiest sayings and the iiiii-l sparlkling and beautiful sen nicnts. The dilll-rent social function-, both in eluhnnd home entertainments oiler prizes for the winners in whist euchre, etc, and for the blindfolded gui-st pinning the tail on the donkey, and to the expert in tiddley-w inks and tlie various other amusements, then why not offer the -anie incentive to tho-e carrying off the laurels in the more dignified, progressive and profit able amusement. Following out the alwve rules in ibis Folly Larkin dub would leave no room for the little poi son-tipped darts of the slanderer and gossiper and would purify the atmos phere at least in the vicinity of the club members and cause the mantle of charity to fall gently over the c-ring I hey would make allowances where others condemned iuid reach out a helping hand Jrom whom others turned aside. I wish:-oiue of our fair daugh ters in the interior towns would try this and -ce what their club wo.i'd blossom into, although Folly can tell you now its members would blossom into sweet, relin. -d, lovable and pro gressive girls and from that into the pure, sincere, charming women w io will reign over their homes with love, and fact. Thev will not remain in a nil, thev will not accept indifference from their husbands in other words tln-y would not allow and he would not dan; take such a step for fear or hi- wife rising so far alove mm mat lie would only prove a ligurc 1 e.id in the home, and a very poor one that. A woman does not necessarily h.ive to 1m strong-minded or wiih a willingiies-and desire to dabble in pol itics, still she must have strength (. mind enough to lay down the law when she find- her hu.-band becoming indilfereiit. And if he is wise he will take the hint and not let it go too far, ro o.ice a woman's faith and confident a. -e shaken in her husband, and with just cause, he can never so far redeem (himself as to occupy the exalted pos ition in her estimation that he once held. .Nor tines he deserve it. Coingback to club.-. I want to tell you the gtxd one club for young boys has done in one of our Interior towns. A gentleman who has been always fond of children saw some of the little boys 4 of the town in which he lived were not living up Jo his idea of how Ixjys should Jx' raised. So for the sake of two or three bright Iwys whom he particu larly liked, he organized a club of boys and with the assistance of the youth ful members fitted up a room at his residence where they could meet at least one a week. J Ie drew up a ritual and rules, the latter prohibiting smok ing, chewing tobacco, gambling in any way whatever, profanity, for he in sisted it must be a "pure-mouthed" club, and exacted attendanceat church, etc. It created a new era among the boys and they considered it a privilege to be able to join the club. As each boy who applied for inentliersliip had to be voted on, and his moral charac ter was taken into consideration, theie were rapid strides in that little town for the betterment of the boys. They had their little regalias for their olli cers, and the gentleman w ho organized the club always presided and was one of the Ihivs for the evening, quiet and dignified and yet entering into every phase of tlie club life. The ritual which they went through with every club night was wholly religious :uid up lifting in its lone accompanied with songs in which every member joined. After the order of business and the beautiful ritual service had been at tended to, then came the enjoyment of various games, checkers, dominoes, table croquet and various athletic siMirts, including the punching-!). r, etc. Kvcry year the gentleman I s "his boys,' as he terms them, ol r a two or three weeks' camping . .,. This has continued for years, and as the lKiysgrew up and stepped out of the home life and into other fields younger loys took their places. This little club has reaped a harvest of good, for the Ih's look back upon the training they received there as one of the best influ ences they came in contact in their youth. They adore the founder, and that is crowning glory enough for him. OF INTEREST TO FRUIT GROWERS. Central Selling and Purchasing Agency Recommended The Committee of Fifteen ordered ap lointed by the Twenty-ninth Animal State Fruit Urowers' Convention to de vise and put into etfeet a plan or plans to promote co-operation among pro ducers of all chu-scs of cured fruits throughout the Facific Coast, have unanimously adopted the following res olutions as a basis for action: Hesolved, That it is the sense of this committee that the fruit growers of the State, wherever practicable, organize local associations for the preparation of fruit for market, and that tlu-se several associations men connect i neiiiseivcs with some selling agency to make sale of their crop at the best market rate, at such limes and for such prices as the agency acting m conjunction with as sociate organizations may deem best, hi case no selling agency is available or satisfactory, we recommend that they proceed to establish one by a delegate repi'e-ciilat i c from each local as-ocia-tion. Also, that we further recommend that all selling agencies composed of organized grow -s unite by delegate membership to orm a central selling and purchasing agency by which the highest advantages in buying and sell ing may In-secured, without, however, relinquishing any brand, trade marks or other advantage peculiar to each, but eliminating to the greatest possible extent injurious competition with each other in the market ami in every prac ticable manner extending the coii.-um lion of California cured fruits. Also, that we disclaim any purpo to antagonize any interest by such n commendations, being fully aware that a large percentage of the business w5l remain to be done bv established organi zations. Hut we believe that when considerable portion of the growers be come thus organized, it will be possible to find a common basis of agreement with such interests by which niarke values may be sustained and regulate better than at present. .Also, mat we lurtiier rccommcm thai such centralized agency at flu earliest practicable moment develop ; plan for efficiently advertising t'alifoi nia cured fruits and placing them w ith the coii-uuiei's at prices which shal provide for a fair average profit to the grower, w bolt-safer a id retailer. We further recommend the forma tion of a commit te to procure and mala available statistics m relation to tin fruit products of the Faeilic Coast am competing counties. 1 he following resolution was also unanimously passed: ltcsolvcd, That a conitnittt f three, with Mr. I. I Stabler as Chairman, be appointed to outline and put into opeiaPon a plan rr. . r . . . . i . . ior increasing me consiiuipi ion ol tin cured fruits or the Stale. The chairman appointed on the com mittee with Mr. stabler, Arthur It Briggs and A. L. MeCray. 1 he members of the Committee of Fifteen present were: A. It. Sprague Sacramento, Chairman; F. II. liahh. San .lose; S. (I. Itodeck, Campbell; A r- thur It. Isnggs, Mm I-raiicisco; II. I Stal Ier, Yuba City; A. D. Ilishop, Orange: AY. F. Weber, Santa Faiila; I hos. Jacob, I ulare; A. L. McCcy, r res no, Secretary; F. r. Walton, i City, elected to fill a vacancy on committee. 1 lie conimiliee spent two days in earnest deliberations, and while at first wide dillcrences of opinions were ex pressed, thev came to unanimous agree incut ill support of the plan alcove ouf- lined Divorces In Japan. t t ... I .... 1 t ii a Japanese iiiisiiauti uivorces its w ife he makes no provision for her, and she has no dowry from her family, but divorced women in Japan nearly all marry again. She brings him nothing but, a gentle ami obedient slave, and takes nothing away with her but the same valuable commodity. Switzerland is inaugurating a system tif itinerant school teachers, who will visit ami spend some time in the i. . lated outlying villages. I wonder why every man who thinks he can "cure fits" wants his picture in the papers? (!od himself must have wept when ho created a mother's tears. The fool always introduces somebody else hi his money. I V V 4 l .CN. The KIiik of IJird ami KIiikt t Finh In a Death Cllueh. We had been camped for a few days at a point on the upper reaches of the Pic river, waiting for a few of the party who were running a side Une. A source of amusement was watching the descent of a large baldheaded eagle in the eddy bauk of the point. He would strike the water with great force, coming down from an im mense height. At times he Avould dlvu under the surface to reappear a mo ment or two later generally with a fish clutched in his claws, when he would fly (freighted with his fish) to a very high mountain, on the over hanging crest of which the nest with his mate and young were quite visible to us with our field glass. I had noticed his success and Jour neys to the nest fur two mornings. On the third morning a shadow coming across the sun's rays caused me to look up and there was the great bird at his usual hunt to supply the young eagles with breakfast. With his keen eye piercing the river depths he poised over a particular snot for a few mo ments and then shot down with the velocity of a cannon ball. The waters parted and the eagle was lost to view. I watched and waited to see him emerge with his prey, but mo ments lengthened Into minutes, and minutes Into a quarter of an hour, but the surface of the water remained in disturbed. What could" it mean? Even if lie had struck himself against some hid den rock and been killed the body would have floated to the surface. It passed my reasoning powers to solvt; the result of that plunge. Then far down, fully a quarter of a mile off, I saw the great bird struggling, either to carry' off a heavy burden or to free himself from one. I lie waters were lashed Into foam and the bird again disappeared, and all was still. This lashing of the water and dis appearing were repeated again and again, each time farther downstream A bend in the river prevented my seeing the final result. Calling out of our men from the tent, we embark ed In a canoe and started down tin river to view the strange proceeding closer. When we had doubled the point below I saw lodged against the beach in a small bay something that did not look natural to the place. We paddled down and found it was my ea gle fast fixed to a sturgeon fully six feet long, ltoth were motionless. Tin1 king of fish and the king of birds had met death. Forest and Stream. PLANTS IN BEDROOMS. Iliey Are llnritileNM In the Daytime. hut VIi-Ioiin at XJfjht. In the daytime, when sunlight stim ulates their nutrition, plants can do no harm in bedrooms, for then thev give off oxygen and are useful hi ab sorbing from the air the carbon which is Injurious to animal life. The free use which is made nowadays of flow ers and plants in our hospitals is in it self sufficient proof that this is a whole some means of ministering mental cheer and comfort to the sick ami suf fering. .At night the case Is different. Then all plants and flowers are removed from hospital wards, because they ex hale the carbonic acid which thev have gathered from the soil ami air and it . wius give on uy a process similar to respiration a gas which is injurious. We may therefore conclude that dur ing the hours of darkness, when the respiratory process is active and the Iltlf T-W f I'- .. ., ..1 ..I . . .1 .it u nuiiui.-iui. i;mis miouki nave no place in our bedrooms. What Is prudent In spacious wards Is imper ative in smaller chambers. "Why Stammerer Are A lilt to Sltir. Stammering depends on a want of harmony between the action of the muscles (.chiefly abdominal) which ex pel air through the larynx and that of the muscles which guard the orifice by which it escapes witn mat of inose which modulate the sound to the form of speech. Over either of the groups of muscles by itself a stammerer may have as much power as other people. but he cannot harmoniously arrange their conjoint action. Nervousness is a freuueut cause of stammering. It is possible that the defect In some In stances mav result from malformation of the parts about the back of the mouth. The fact that stammering peo ple are able to sing their words better than to speak them has been usually explained on the supposition that in i - - singing the glottis Is kept open so that there Is less liability to spasmodic ac tion.- r.oston Transcript. Inspiration For a Hall Ooirn. Among the many characteristic stories that have been told of the methods that were used by the great man dress maker of Paris, Worth, In creating his surprises there Is one of a commission he received for a fancy gown which a great belle desired to have absolutely unique. The great man spent the night consulting with his collaborators, but the Idea refused to materialize. Weary with their fruitless toil, the three art ists stepped out on a balcony to rest and forget their disappointment in a cigarette. "Yoila! It Is the dawn!" said one. "del! It Is the dress!" cried Worth, and "Dawn," with its subtle harmonies of gray and violet and rose shot through with gold, was the suc cess of the ball. An F.ay Lcknoii. "I am supposed to die of a broken icart," said the unmanageable actress. 'Now, how am I to know how a per son with a broken hvart behaves?" 'I'll tell you what to do," answered the plain spoken manager. "You study the author of this play after he sees your first performance of it." IIoiv It Happened. Hawkins You look out of sorts, old man. vt hat s me troinue; raruer Just lost my new silk umbrella. Haw kins How did it happen? Parker ellow that owned it happened to come in the office and recognized it Colli Feet. When Dr. John A. llartwell, better known as "Josh" llartwell. was at Yale he was asked by a professor what would happen to a patient If his tem perature were to get as low as possi- ile. "Why. sir." llartwell gravely re plied, "he would have cold feet." EAGLE AND -S"i U NEW SHORT STORIES A Skittish Home. Not long age a negro bishop of the Methodist Episcopal church began a revival series of meetings In Yirglnla. In the front pew of the church cat an old time darkv with gold rimmed glasses, white hair and an air which attested his long experience In the world and his wisdom thereof. "May the Lord preserve us from the temptation to steal!" exhorted the bishop. The old man brought his cane down heavily on the floor and encouraged the bishop with the Injunction. "Hide dat boss, bishop!" "Keep us from slandering our neigh bor.''!" pleaded the shepherd of the flock. "Ride dat boss, bishop!" echoed the old man. id from the awful sin of lying!" ide dat boss, bishop!" "And from taking thy name in vain!' "Ride dat boss, bishop!" "From the demon drink pr -servt us!" The absence of the encouraging re sponse was distinctly noticeable. "From the demon drink pre-i I've us!" called the bishop loudly. There was no answer. "What's the matter. brother Tr! : ver?" finally asked the bislop. for th entire congregation was puzzled. "Well, yo' moiit ride dat bos-, i" "; op," answered the old man. "bu I Fin!, he gwine tub fling yo'!" .Ww Ye-;. Times. Jlnnnle lln.I to Will It. When General Sherman was a boy one of his intimate playfellows wa. James G. PJauic. The two boys, to gether with Uoyt. a yonm er brother of the general, were out driving one day when as they passed a flag waving li the breeze .liminie I'.Iaine placed a UK DltOVK OI'F, T,KAVINf5 JIMMIKTO TKA M !' TUK TLX MILLS HOME. thumb on the tip of his nose and made a very disrespectful gesture toward the banner. "Did you mean to do that at the flag':" demanded "Cumpie" Sherman. his loyalty outraged. "Yes; I did." declared Jlminie stout ly. "Well. If 3'ou tlo it again I'll put yo: out." Nothing more was said, and tin urive proceeded enjovablv. On tin. way home the flair was passed a:;aln. and again Jimmic Itlaine put bin thumb tt the tip of his nose, and so forth. Cumpie reined In the horse, took the struggling Jlinmir ami gentlv but firm ly lifted him out of the wason. Then. In spite of Iloyt's reiiionstr.siice that that was not the proper way to treat a guest, he drove off. leaving Jimmic to tramp the ten miles home as best he might. Llpplucott's Magazine. ThI Marrlaire a Failure. James Whitcomh Kiley. the dialect poet, received the degree of doctor of laws on Washington's birthday from the University of Pennsylvania, says the Philadelphia Press. Afterward he visited the Academy of Fine Arts. where his portrait by Sargent hung. 'While Sargent was painting my portrait." the poet said, "he showed me a copy of an unusual epitaph th.it one of his friends hail sent him from Yirglnia. It was the epitaph of a cer tain John Custls. and It read: "'Under this Marble Tomb lies ye body of Hon. John Custis. Esq.-City of Williamsburg and Parish of Hrut r. formerly of Hunger's Parish on tl.- Eastern Shore of Yirglnia. Countv of Northampton, the place of his Naih Ity. aged seventy years, yet lived but Seven Years, which was the space of time he kept a Haehclor's House at Arlington.' "On the other side of the tomb." sal 1 Mr. Kiley. "these words were carve ' apologetically: 'This inscription put on this tomb by his own Positive Order.' " IleuTKiir Itfhuketl Him. am disgruntled." said Senatjn 'I Foster recently. "I'll never give money to a street beggar again as long as I live. There was a very pitiful looking beggar hi the avenue a few minutes ago, and. my heart going out to him. I stopped to hand him a few small coins. I had some difficulty. I admit. In finding my change, but was that any reason for the beggar to frown at me uuu ni) mu.iiweimj. inirry up. sir: I've lost several customers while you've ' been muddllug over them pennies';' " - : ( . i I .... 1 I.. T T . Argonaut. t The Old KiikIUI, Sehool. Colonel Anstruther Thomson, an nged Englishman, says In a volume of reminiscences that at a sehool which he attended as a boy the students were regularly dosed twice a year. "We were marched up to Carmalt's desk two and two. Two glasses of a horrid compound of bark were on the desk, and an usher stood on each side. We had to drink the dose, turn to the usher and put out our tongues to show that we had swallowed It! This was charged in our account: 'Wine, 5 shll-' lings.' " i ffe AM. WW I PSD WW FISH FOOD NOT THE BEST. Many Fallacies About a Diet on Sea I'roductM Are Extant. It Is doubtful whether any giveu food In common use contains constitu ents which have a selective action, so to speak, on the property of minister ing to one part of the body more thau another. As a rule, when a food is as. Hiimed to have specific reparative prop erties-as, for example, a so called food the fact really is that such food is easily and quickly assimilated to the body's general ad vantage; in a word, In such a case re pair quickly overtakes" waste and a real purposeful nutrition and restora tion are accomplished. Ihe adminis tration of such elements as phosphorus or Irou in medicine is. of course, a dif ferent matter, but these elements are evenly distributed in the materials of a daily diet. It Is often stated that fish is a food which ministers particularly to the needs of the brain, because it contains phosphorus. As a matter of fact, fish does not contain more phosphorus than do the ordinary meat foods, and it cer tainly does not contain it In a free state. The notion that fish contains phosphorus had no doubt its origin in the glowing phosphorescence of fish in the dark. This phosphorescence is due not to phosphorus at uut to micro organisms. The belief, therefore, that fish Is a brain food is just about as reasonable as the idea that because a soup is thick and gelatinous "it will stick to the ribs" or as sensible as the celebrated advice to Yerdant Green to lay In a stock of Heading biscuits to assist his reading. Fish, of course, Is excellent food. partly because of the nourishing na ture of its constituents and partly be cause of its digestibility. Hut It Is in no sense a specific for brain or nerve. London Lancet. A HOUSE DIVIDED. The Keacn a I'lanned Gooe Dinner Wax a Failure. Most persons have had the experi ence of walking with a friend out of step and trying to shift just at the moment when the friend also makes the attempt. This is an instance of thwarted harmony much like that which appears hi a story told by a London journal of an elderly couple. They were childless and had never been united by the bond of other lives linked with their own. So they were always In a state of well bred disa greement. On the subject of meals they disa greed thoroughly, and each usually suggested a dish for the Sunday din ner which the other did not approve. One Saturday the man came home from market with a basket. "You needn't worry about tomor row's dinner any more. Maria. I've got it." "And so have I. Oeorge. You were so undecided"- - 'Tiideeided! I told you what I want ed." "Well. I mean you didn't decide as I did. So I bought a goose." "Why. so have I. I told you I'd like a goose." "Well, now we are agreed for once anyway." "Yes. and I suppose we'll have cold goose and stewed goose for the next two weeks." v They relapsed into their usual si lence. Sunday forenoon the wife asked. "Do you want a little quince in the apple sauce with your goose";" "Your goose, you mean';" "No. I don't. It seemed so absurd to have two geese in the house that I sent mine to Aunt Jane." "What! I sent mine to Uncle Joe!" A Cold In the Ileutl. A hydropathic treatment of a colli in the head Is more reliable than any other. It is as follows: In the morning after rising and at night before retii ing wash the feet ami legs as high up as the knees in cold water, then rub them with a romrh towel .-mil jiims:i-'i - - ------ - them till the skin is red and glowing. In addition to this cautiously snuff tepid water up the nose frequently uuring tlie day and sip with a tea spoon a glassful as hot as can be borne an hour before each meal and at bedtime. A few days is often quite sufficient for simple cases anil obsti nate ones yield If the treatment Is pro longed. No medicines are required. If taken in the first stages of the dis ease a cold is broken up which might otherwise become a severe case of bronchitis, lasting manv davs or weeks. Chicago News. A Suhxtltute For I.atln. In an English school recently a cer tain boy was regularly absent during the hour in which Latin was taught. The teacher called upon the boy's fa ther, at whose Instructions it hail been learned he remained away, and asked for an explanation. The father said: "It is all right. During the Latin hour I am teaching Jimmy something that he will find far more useful than Latin in his progress through l""e" The teacher was Interested and : . I what this' subject might be. The fa ther replied, "I am teaching my son how to shave without a looking gla .-.' Ate Their Cod. 1 lie gods of most South American tribes of Indians are generally looked upon as sacred, but when the gods be come a nuisance It is time to put an end to them; at least, that is what certain tribe along the Zabari river think. They worship the iguana and monkey, bet as soon as the iguana ; started eating chickens they thought ' It time to stop worshiping him and , to eat him in place of the chickens be had eaten. This thev do. and thev pre for Iguana stew to ci.lcken frie-ss.-e AniUMlnRT the Children. Mrs. McShantee (triumphantly) I nee ye are takln' In washin again. Mrs. McProutlee! Mrs. McProudce (whose husband has lost a paying job Sure It's only to amuse th' chillier They wants th' wlndles covered wi.l ?team so they can make pictures on them. A I'efinlmNt. "Don't you suppose It Is possible for a man to go through the world without telling a He?" "I doubt It. Almost every man has been In love at some time in his life." CHOICE MISCELLANY Were Sot Thieve. Enforcement of the recent rule that under no circumstances will pfr;o:is be permitted to carry packages from the world's fair grounds ai St. Louis without a special permit resulted in four Chinese artisans destroying four valuable carved wooden Images before an astonished gatekeeper. The four Celestial artisans hijjj been Instructed to take the Images Trom the Chinese pavilion to the Chinese commissioners residing in the city, who had arranged to have them gilded and painted to be presented to distinguished world's fair people as souvenirs. Through error nc written permits to take the Images from the grounds had been provided. A gatekeeper stopped the four China men and investigated their packages. The Celestials could not understand English, but they perceived that they were not going to be permitted to car ry the linages through the gates. Thereupon each broke his Image Into pieces. An Interpreter was summoned rand quickly made it plain that the Chi namen had broken the Images to prove their innocence of theft. "In China when a man is. accused of stealing anything found In his posses sion he Immediately destroys It to show that he Is no thief," said the in terpreter. New Orleans Times-Demo crat. Facln' Kitchen. At the bottom of Great Saffron hill, London, Is situated what at one time was one of the most hideous and dan gerous slums. It is part of n ruinous old tenement, exactly answering to the description of the Infamous den to which the Artful Dodger led Oliver Twist as a new pal for a visit to Greenland." The den had several ominous looking staircases leading inti dark and ill smelling passages ami had plenty of cupboards available for thieves' hoot v. From the outhouses any of the light fingered gentry could easily have drop ed into the street, while the adjacent house, condemned by the London city council, was easily accessible. The last named tenement, formerly a haunt for vagrants, with all the conveniences of a thieves kitchen, had associations of the worst kind and has not come un der the ban of the London parliament a moment too soon. Fa gin was a real character, named Isaac Touch, who, when raided by the police, was found to possess a peck measure of watches. He had the name of being a confederate In worse crimes than training young thieves and buy ing stolen property. Tomato Vine a Tall a n Tree. The skyscraper stage has been reached in the development of the to matt) in southern California. One of the latest prodigies In that succulent vegetable Is a group of three thirty foot vines that have borne fruit at all seasons and under all sorts of climat'c conditions. These remarkable growths are In the gardens of F. C. Case in Pasadena. It is necessary to use an eighteen foot ladder to harvest the tomatoes. for the vines have covered a trellis twenty feet in height, where thev have tangled themselves into a thick, effin-" pact mass of greenery. The seeds of these wonderful plants were sown last May and have been growing and bear ing fruit ever since. In fact, the vines are always filled with bloom ami both green and ripe fruit. Los Angeles Times. Dot-tor Aenlu Dtxacrrr. Some French doctors in Algiers do not think that mosquitoes are carriers of malarial Infection and offer to al low thenisi Ives to be bitten by the niiNt virulent examples which can be found in that mosquito infected coun try and to submit themselves to critic al medical inspection for a sufficient time to ascertain whether the malady really develops. They will not take any prophylactics and will give the In sect and Its backers a perfectly s snare deal. The reputation of the former as a distributer of quartan ague Is not quite so overbearing as it was a few years ago. but a good many people in Algiers and out of it still believe hi it. and a scientific test on a new basis will possess much interest. Anierlen' Only Women' Hunt CXuh. Denver boasts the unique distinction of having the only hunt club In this country composed exclusively of wo men. This Arraya Hunt has a roster of forty accomplished riders, with Miss May Cordes as mistress of the hounds. The two whippers in. who have charge of the pack of fifteen hounds, are the only men connected in any way with the organization. Not only are all the officers of the club, from president to historian, filled by women, but they make the various arrangements for their meets and attend to all their own matters of finance. The most Interest ing feature of the Denver club Is that every woman rides astride.-Illustrated Sporting News. I'opnlnrity of Kater Lille. The rise of the Easter lily Is one of the most sensational features of green house floriculture In America during the last quarter of a century. Our florists raise about r.000.0X) Easter lilies a year. Assuming that only half of these plants are sold, that each one bears only two flowers (a good plant should have six to eight) and that the public pays ."0 cents a bud. It would seem that the American people spend at least ..100.000 for Mister lilies every year.- Country Life In America. A .Hatch For IHni. At a political meeting in Wales the chairman, a deacon of strong convic tions, but no sense of humor. Intro duced a speaker thus: "I haff to Intro duce to you tonight the nu-t: uer for the Carnarvon boroughs. He bass come here to reply to what the bishop of St. Asaph saitl the other night about Welsh disestablishment. In my opin ion, gentlemen, that bishop of Asaph Iss one of the biggest liars- hi creashon; but, thank goodness yes. thank good nesswe haff a match for him tonight" liat lie Meant. New Boarder What did that fellow mean in tlie dining room when he told me he knelt before ten women this aft ernoon? Did he propose to them? Cravat Clerk No; he's a shoe clerk. Cleveland Leader. X i