BANDON RECORD»)«.
“W---------------------------- - -------
ANIMAL SURGERY.
V<><> ■•■»»• 're Wlaa In Irdldae
■ nil Kaaily Ileal 'I'heaiarlvea.
Most people have wen u sick cat eat
gra»» or an uneasy dog seek out some
weed nud devour it greedily to make bl»
complaining stomach fit*! better. !i>iu<
few may Lave read John VV esley's di
rection» on the art of Jxeeplug well—
wblcb have not. however, found tbeir
way into his book of discipline for the
soul and have noticed with surprlaed
Interest bls claim that many medi
cines In use among tlie common people
and tbe physicians of bls time were
discovered by watching tbe animal»
that sought out these things to heal
their diseases. "If they heal animals,
they will also heal men,” is his invin
cible argument. Others may have
dipped deep Into Indian history and
folklore and learned that many of the
herbs used by the American tri lies, and
especially tbe cures for rheumatism,
dysentery, fever and snake bites, were
learned direct from the animals by
noting the rheumatic old bear grub foi
fern roots or bathe In the hot mud of a
sulphur .spring nnd tiy watching with
eager eyes what plants the wild crea
tures ate when bitten by rattlers or
wasted by tlie fever.
Tbe most elemental kind of surgery
Is that which amputates a leg when it
is broken not always or often, bat
only when the wound festers from de
cay or tiy bite and so endangers tlie
whole boily. Probably tbe best Illustra
tion of this Is found in the coon, who
has a score of traits that place him
very high among intelligent animals.
When a coon's foot Is shattered by a
bullet be will cut it off promptly and
wasli the stump in running water, part
ly to reduce tlie inflammation and part
ly, no doubt, to make it perfectly clean.
As it heals he uses bis tongue on the
wound freely, as a dog does, to cleanse
it perhaps nnd by the soft mnssage of
Ids tongue to reduce the swelling and
allay tbe pain.—Outlook.
THE END OF NIAGARA.
In Twrnly-flre Centuries the Great
Falls Will Have lllsappenretl.
In 2,500 years lienee the discharge of
the Niagara will have become inter
mittent, ceasing nt low stages of the
lake, nnd Anally tlie Niagara river, on
the rising edge of the basin, will have
its waters turned back and southward,
and no water will flow over the Niag
ara escarpment of that dny. Through
this agency alone Niagara falls will
cense to exist long before the escarp
ment lias been worn nway to the river
level at Grand island, but as it is even
now lessening tlie volume of water
poured over the falls the erosive power
of the stream is diminishing, nnd we
must therefore increase the period nec
essary for the retreat of the Canadian
falls to the south end of Goat island
and the stealing of the waters of the
American falls.
Assuming the continuity of tlie forces
named, we might outline the probable
future life and death of the falls thus:
With progressive loss in water vol
ume the Canadian falls will reach the
south end of Gont Island in from 1,000
to 1,500 years, tlie death of the Ameri
can falls.
The flow of tlie waters will now have
become intermittent, nnd at first only
at periods of mean nnd high water in
Iaike Erie, eventually at high water
alone, will there lie any discharge over
the escarpment. This will continue for
a period of from 1,500 to 2,000 years.
Tlie entire flow to the north will
cease, nnd the river will flow back Into
Lake Erie, leaving the escarpment dry
nt a point not very far south of Gont
island nnd with a height of about 100
fi*et. Tills will be 3,500 years hence
tlie death of Niagara falls.—John M.
Clarke, Ph. I»., LL. D., in Harper’s
Weekly.
An Effective Touch.
A western senator tells a story of a
Judge who hnd occasion to fine n law
yer in that state $100 for contempt of
court.
After court had adjourned tlie lawyer
npproaelied the Judge nnd said, "Your
honor, I want to nsk n great favor of
you.”
“What Is it?” Inquired the judge.
"I have a pressing obligation to meet.
That hundred you took for that fine
was tlie money I hnd to meet it with.
I wish you would lend me $100 for a
few days.”
"III, Mr. Crier.” shouted the judge,
•’convene court again!” Court was re
convened, and then the Judge remitted
the flue.
Incompatibility.
A man and his wife called nt a law
yer's office to talk about n divorce.
“Judge,” the wife said, "I hnd only
75 cents to live on last month."
Whereupon the husband replied ng-
grlly: “That’s a falsehood; she had
$90.”
Then the wife said. "Judge, thnt'fl
as near ns we ever agree." And the
Judge said they might as well get a
divorce If that was tlie best they could
da—Atchison Globe.
Experienced.
“How is tlie new girl going to do?"
nsked Mr. Ferguson.
"Nlie hasn't hnd much experience,"
said his wife, "lint I think she will be
all right when she gets broken In."
Tta*n came a loud sound of falling
crockery from the kitchen.
“She seems to lie making a good
start, anyhow,” oliserved Mr. Ferguson
encouragingly.—Chicago Tribune.
Encoarnirement.
Pupil (after re|>cnted attempts)—Oh.
I’m sure I never shall be able to!
Professor—Oh. yes, you will. I was
Just as big a donkey myself at first.—
Punch.
To accept good ndvlce Is but to In
crease one’s own ability.—Goethe.
I.ncfe of Jnilament.
“Was you really plunnin' to run away
with tbe hired girl?” asked the old
farmer disgustedly.
“That’s what I Win 'thinkin' of do
in',” admitted his son.
“Ain’t you got any sense nt all*" de
moded the okl man. "□•n't you know
that hired girls Is harder to get tfeun
daughters-in law7”—Chicago Post.
“JJo you know, Polly, that if I had
my way there would be oue sidewalk
on every street that would be clean
enough fora lady to walk on without
holding her skirts above her shoe-tops
to keep from coming in contact with a
filthy sidewalk,’’ said an indignant
little lady tlie otiierday. as she pointed
to a dainty gray suit that lay on the
tied, ruined trom coming in contact
witti tobacco juice as she paws-d along
the street. “First time I’ve worn it
and it’s ruined. Took it to a cleaner
and lie says lie can’t do anything with
it. The way I would manage would be
to make every man who ex¡ieetorated
or used tlie sidewalk in lieu of a hand
kerchief, walk on one side of tbe street.
I think they would break themselves
of tlie disagreeable habit in no time, for
they would lie asliamed to be found
walking on tlie di-gusting sidewalk
when all tlie fair sex and men who
were not given to the aforesaid habits
were walking along the clean side of
the street that was free from every sus
picion of such inexcusable carelessness.
Such men surely do not believe in the
old saying ‘cleanliness is next to godli-
mas,’ or if they do they shut their eyes
and conscience to it and hope others
will not follow in their footsteps. They
try to excuse their carelessness tiy say
ing oue more can surely make no dif
ference. If every body obeyed the law
of cleanliness and paid attention to the
sanitary conditions of the sidewalks of
their town, then they might be encour
aged to do the same, but so long as nine-
tenths of the men are guilty of the
same otl'enae against humanity one
more did not count. The only women
I see expectorating on the sidewalk,
Polly, are Chinese women, or the very
lowest and most uncouth of their sex
who have lost all pretensions to de
cency and who are looked upon with
contempt tiy tbe most common and
ordinary looking men who walk the
streets. Of course, Polly, I know that
such a thing as making expectorating
men walk on one sideof the street is im
possible, but wouldn't it lie a blessing?”
What vagaries of the mind some peo
ple have. They are not demented to
the extent that you can put them In an
insane asylum, and yet they are un
balanced enough to make you feel that
they need constant watching and you
must ever be on your guard. A woman
who has seen much trouble during her
eventful life said to me the other day,
“I want to tell you something alsiut
the wild geese you see dying in the
heavens. Vou have seen them com
ing, a great big flock, flying in a sort of
‘v’ shape—it is just like the letter v
when you come to think alsiut it.
Hunters try their best to kill them, but
they can't, for they are not geese at all.
They are tbe children of the sun that
are sent to this earth to spy out what is
lieing done. They find out what you
are doing in tbe way of electricity and
they laugh until tlieir feathers fairly
quiver. Electricity is an old story with
the children of the sun, so is Marconi’s
system. They’ve been using that for
thousands of years. Oue of the chil
dren of tbe sun whispered it to Mar
coni one night in his sleep. Hiuce then
he has never been allowed to return to
the sun, for we are sworn to give way
none of the secrets. It makes me smile
when I read of what they are trying to
do at Mount Hamilton with that big
telescope at the Lick Olnervatory. That
would be considered a mere toy in the
sun. We are a great people. If we had
anarchists up there as you have here, If
we didn’t kill them we’d turn them
into common geese and send them to
earth to let your hunters do a little tar
get practice on. Every time you eat a
wild gisise you may depend ujsin it,
you are eating an anarchist from the
sun. They are meaner than sin and
you’ll And them pretty tough eating.
I><> the children of the sun return after
a visit to this earth? you ask. Of course
they do. You might as well ask if your
explorers return from the North Pule
when they go in search of it. They re
turn to the sun if they don’t meet with
accident, just as your explorers do.
I'sually when children of the sun
come to earth it’s for a whole season,
and they don't return until spring.
When they do take their flight you
people say ‘the spring is coming for the
geese are going north.’ It makes me
smile, for they are homeward bound
and the sun is their destination. When
they have a very bright child that
they know is going to lie a genius, they
convert him Into a carrier pigeon. The
sun's rays that you talk so much alsiut
arc simply .searchlights that are an
other wonder of the sunland given
away by a simple-minded goose that
didn't know enough to let well enough
alone.” The poor creature would prat
tle on in this wnv for hours. She never
got llrtd, but It was an alarming propo
sition when i he wanted you to go on to
the I ousetop and fly with her to her
native land. Her promise to bring you
Itack and laud you safe and sound in
your own lied liefore the family was up
did not serve to inspire confidence or to
make you feel that she was altogether
harmless in her manner
I visited an Insane asylum In the
Fast once and saw one of the snidest of
sights. A beautiful brown-eyed little
girl of twelve years left her seat in tbe
window, and, coming up with her apron
full of picture cards, sllp|ied her hand
through my arm and sai<^“Itoi going
out of here to-morrow. I'm cured for a
little while but I'll have to come tatek
again. I always do. They say I'll die
here some day. I'm iaeane Just like
my father and my mother, and my
brother and slaters were all crazy,
l'apa and mama died here and so did
my sisters. Brother is here now. He’»
iu the men’s ward and be does not
know me any more. When we're
crazy we forget all alsiut rsi'h other.
I’m glad I’ m going out, though. I’m
going to my aunt; she's coming for
me.” We liad reached tbe end of tbe
ward and I passed out leaving this
beautiful girl gazing wistfully at me as
the door clanged to shutting out this
uever-to-be forgotten picture. “Sad,
isn’t it?” said tbe attendant who was
showing our party through tbe asylum.
“The worst of it is that it is all true,
just as she told it to you. Being hered
itary, the whole family is cursed with
this dreadful malady. The parents
were flrat cousins The mother dhd
only a few months ago. She was the
victim of melancholia and grieved her
self to death She thought she was re-
sponsible for tbe sins of tlie universe
and could not tie saved The father
was oue of the most dangerous inmates
we hail. It was a relief when be passed
away, for his case was ho|ieless. One
of the girl’s sisters jum|ied from a win
dow and killed herself at their own
home. This girl you were talking to
has iteen discharged as cured three
times, but has always had to lie re
turned. Nile knows she will have to
come back again, poor child, so she is
not over elated at tbe idea ot going.
Her aunt is suspicious of her all the
time, and really I wouldn’t tie sui-
prised to see her coming here any time
for treatment. I wouldn’t have very
much faith in a cure, however, for any
member of that family. The little girl
who is going out of this institution to
morrow is the pet of tills ward. We
will miss the gentle little unfortunate.
Nhe’ll go just like her mother—with
melancholia.
BRIEF REVIEW.
Acetylene For the Octopus.
A new light is lieing shed on that at
tractive aquatic pet, the octopus—we
refer to acetyleue gas, for which the
fishermen of Southern Italy have found
a new use. They are employing it as a
bait to catch that amiable fish. The
first men to use this light (according to
the report of our Consul General in
Southern Italy) secured some enormous
catches of octopus and jealously kept
tbeir secret. After a while it leaked
out, and now it is the light commonly
used for the purpose. There can be lit-
tl“ doubt that the coast will soon lie
overfished, and the octopus become
rare instead of plentiful. The old way
of alluring the fish is briefly described
as follows: “At night an iron cradle
with a bright flame of resinous wood is
fixed to the bow of tbe boat. This at
tracts the fish and leads him to his
doom.” During the daytime the fish
are tempted from the crevices of the
rocks by a piece of red flannel at the
end of a bamboo, which they attempt
to grasp; and they are speared with a
trident. The new method may recom
mend itself to the Cornish and Devo
nian flshermen, for it is said that in the
Westot England the fisheriesarespoiled
by the octopus, which exists by devour
ing the small fry.
FAVORITE AGES OF WOM6N
They Appear <„ »««(« Betweffa Sl>
«■<* Twesir-rusr ¥o«ra.
It may aeem strange that womer
have preferences for particular age*
An Inspection of tbe census, however,
leaves uo room for doubt that certain
years are preferred aud certain othei
years disliked by tbe members of th«
gentler sex.
Of children fourt«u years and under
tbe number of boys is nearly 400,00C
greater than the number of girls; al
fifteen the boys are still 6,000 ahead ot
the girls; at sixteen the girls are O.OOC
tbe uioYe numerous, and each yeai
thereafter until the twenty-fourth
there is an excess of women over men.
The favorite ages within these limit»
are eighteen and twenty. There are 24.-
0(>0 more misses of eighteen than there
are boys of that age, and tbe young
ladies twenty years old exceed theil
masculine companions by 54.000. At
twenty-four and twenty-five the num
tiers of the two sexes are nearly equal.
Then the women begin to grow less
with great rapidity. The most unpop
ular ages are thirty and forty. At tlie
former age there Is a difference of 78.-
000 between tbe two sexes; at the latter
83,000.
One peculiar circumstance is thnt
there are more women twenty years
old than there are girls of thirteen or
fourteen or any age up to twenty.
This fact conclusively demonstrates
that twenty is a very healthful age.
Hut if the younger nges are unhealthy,
where did the Increased number who
are twenty years old come from? Nc
women are born that old.
Only an unusually elastic theory can
account for these peculiarities with be
coming gallantry to the lovelier sex.—
J. 8. Gilham in Ladies’ Home Journal.
YANKEE DOODLE.
The Original Version Hates From
the Time of Oliver Cromwell.
The lively strains of "Yankee Doo
dle” are heard at every patriotic cele
bration. says a writer in Collier's Week
ly, yet periiaps few of those whose
pulses stir at the sound of the familiar
notes are aware that it dates from the
time of Oliver Cromwell and crossed
the seas with the Puritans.
“N'ankee Doodle” was one of the nick-
names bestowed by tbe Cavaliers ou
tbe bated Roundhead, and a verse writ
ten upon Cromwell's entry into Oxford,
riding on a small horse with a plume
twisted into a sort of knot called a
“macaroni,” runs as follows:
Nankee Doodle came to town
Upon a little pony,
With a feather In his hat
Upon a macaroni.
The transition from N'ankee to Yan
kee—which came from Yengee, the In
dian word for English—was very easy,
and the Royalists used it as a jeer at
all New Englanders.
When tbe Colonials in Boston, pre
paring for the coming war, smuggled
muskets into tbe country, concealing
them in loads of manure, the Tories
sang to tlie old tune of “Lucy Fisher:”
Yankee Doodle came to town
For to buy a firelock;
We will tar and feather him,
And so we will John Hancock.
TACTS III frtW LIMES NEW SHORT STORIES CHOICE
Au «ton> of matter is probably a
crystal of electricity.
Japanese and Germana have the same
average bruin weight.
The total commerce of Abyssinia 1«
about $9,500.000 a year.
Nutlonal bank notes are one-sixth ot
the money iu circulation.
The birth rate In Berlin declined from
$6 per 1,000 in 1876 to 27 in 1902.
French is the language of more than
1,000,000 of tbe 5,300,000 Canadians.
More than $10,000,000 worth of sport
ing goods were sold in the United
States last year.
Our total trade with Alaska for the
fiscal year waa: Imports, $10,228.000;
exports. $9,497.000.
The suicide rate in the United States
has Increased in ten years from 12 to
17 |>er 100,000 population.
The United States treasury holds
three and nine-tenths times as much
gold as tbe Bauk of England.
Ouly nine men have been hanged in
Kentucky in the last five years, al
though there have been 798 murders.
London harness makers and carriage
builders are suffering loss of trade by
tbe growing popularity of the motor
car.
Commerce between the United States
and Russia during the last fiscal year
greatly surpassed that of any previous
year.
An English miller has successfully
tested the vitality of some wheat which
was grown In 1839 and carefully pre
served since.
Twelve million pounds' worth of
leather is required every year to pro
vide boots nnd shoes for the inhabit
ants of Great Britain.
The sinking of the shaft 140 feet from
the river bottom by the Toronto nnd
Ningurn Falls company occupied but
little more than a month.
A scheme has ticen prepared for car
rying out an underground railway <n
Manchester, Englund, with connections
with the principal out districts.
The secretary of the* Aeronautical So
clety of Greut Britain expects tlie kite
to be the bnse of tlie future instrument
of aerial navigation, the* aeroplane.
In one of the congressional districts
under the new apportionment in Texas
there are fifty-five coUnties. The en
tire vote of the district, however, is
only 22,000.
Massachusetts is free from the re
peated murder trial farces of New
York. There is only one appeal pos
sible there—from the Jury’s verdict
straight to the highest court
Tbe first prune tree was planted in
California in 1870 by a Frenchman,
who brought tbe tree to tills country
from France. Tbe first orchard, of
ten acres, began to yield in 1875.
The signal corps claims to be the
nerve system of tlie army. Telegrnpliy,
telephony, ballooning nnd beliogrnpby
are its specialties, it is also charged
tiy law with gathering and transmit
ting information.
Kansas harvests more wheat than
any other state in the Union. In its
wheat belt of thirty counties not one
county raises less than 1,000,000 bush
els. Sumner county has a record of
6,812,102 bushels.
By the terms of the new license law
of New Hampshire licensed saloons are
forbidden to sell Intoxicating liquors
on Sundays, election days and public
holidays, but licensed hotels are ex
empted from this restriction.
Tbe bolometer, invented twenty
years ago by Dr. Langley, has been
perfected in its adjuncts, especially the
galvanometer, at fbe hands of Abbot,
so that it will measure one hundred
millionth of a degree of temperature
with readiness and precision.
A novel scene was recently seen at
Rockland, Mass., that of a skunk run
ning along the street with bls head in
an old tin can which he could not shake
off. The boys chased without any de
sire to capture him, and be escaped, can
nnd all, Into an old stone wall.
Tlie spur of track In Iiiird street,
Lowell. Mass., line been relaid after
having been undisturbed for the past
twenty-two years. Although the wood
under the rails had been in place for
over a score of years, when It came to
be examined It wns only slightly black
ened and softened but little.
The half million acres cultivated In
tea In Indin produce 190.000.090 pounds,
the Investment being aliout $106 nn
acre. The tabor required is thirteen
persons to tbe acre. One pound of In
dia tea will produce seven nnd a half
gallons of tea of a given strength,
while the tea of China will produce
but five gallons.
An English-Irish syndicate has been
formed for tbe purpose of removing
one of the worst evils with which Irish
Industrial development la nffllcted-
viz, dear coal. The industrial diffi
culties due to the absence of coal In
Ireland are to be removed.by tlie use
of turf. In which the Island atiounds.
This Is to be cut, dried and pressed
into bricks.
The total area used for farming pur
poses in the United Atate» is 841,000.060
acres, an area larger than England.
Scotland and Ireland. Wales, France.
Germany, Austria. Spain. Japan and
the Trapsvaa!. There are MMMXJOO
persons engaged In the agricultural
pursuits, while all other industries em
ploy but 18.845,000. One-third of the
people are therefore devoted to farm I
i
Ing.
A leper was exhibited at a lecture to
an audience of Chicago university stu
dents the other day. Dr. James Nev i
ins Hyde, the lecturer, said that lepro
sy Is not dangerously contagion«; that
it Is curalde and that It Is gradually
disappearing from all countries. He
doe« not believe that any drug capable
of curing leprosy will ever lie discov
er«!. Cleanliness and good food, lie as
serts, are the surest and liest remwVcs.
When the British forces marched to
the battles of Concord and Lexington
tlieir approach wns heralded by "God
Save tlie King,” but when the “Yankee
farmers” saw tlie foe in full retreat the
strains of "Yankee Doodle” accompa
nled their flight, and from that hour,
wherever the stars and stripes have
A Dog’s Fidelity.
floated, the once despised tune has been
Throughout the long Journey from heard.
Havannab, Ga., to Kansas City, “Ped
PAWN SHOPS OF CHINA,
tiler,” the pet dog and for the past year
the constant companion of the late They Cat quite n Figure In I.lie In
the Flowery I.ant.
Daniel E. Naighman, rode on his mas
Pawnbroking is a great institution in
ter's coffin. He could not be induced
to leave it, even to be fed or watered, the Flowery Land. The Chinese pawn
broker’s, however, is quite a different
and it was with difficulty he could be kind of establishment from ours. The
made to eat even when food was taken pawn shop of China is more a strong
to him. He lay for the most part in hold, a place of quiet nnd safe repose,
tbe same place, alstve the shipping tag for valuable Jewelry and the miscel
nailed to the pine box, and wore it laneous and costly wardrobes of the
down until it was almost illegible. people. It also in many instances per
“Peddler” accompanied Mr. Naighman forms tbe equally important but some
ou his journey throughout the United what costly function of lending to the
needy, and, as In tbe collections of sim
Ntates and Canada and it is feared the ilar establishments ot our own land,
dog will die when his master is buried. one may see the much prized jewels
Mr. Naighman, who formerly owued and trinkets of happier times, which
the site of the new Journal building, caused tbeir poor owners many a bit
Kansas City, and was identified with ter pang to part with, heartaches that
real estate Interests in that city, later were perhaps brightened with the hope
went to Joplin and promoted many that one day they would lie able to re
deem them.
mining enterprises.
To listen to the man selling these un
redeemed pledges is one of the choice
The Rejuvenated Mississippi
entertainments of the Peking streets.
One of the signa of the times is the re He Is selected by the pawnbroker for
vival of river traffic on the Mississippi. his fluency of speech and ready wit, to
There has not lieen enough tonnage on which he gives full play in his humor
the river this last season to take care of ous descriptions of the quality and bls
the freight traffic lietween Nt. Louie tory of the furs and richly embroid
ered dresses which are piled up on the
and the upper part of the river, and for platform of his tent He at times runs
tbe first time in many yea.a through off his speech in rhyme, making clever
Isiats were run from Nt. Isiuis to New and sarcastic allusions to the require
Orleans. Passenger traffic lias revived ments of his audience, pressing a sntln
greatly, and building of some very lux robe on the attention of some naked
urious packet Isiata is contemplated. beggar.—Golden Penny.
For the months of March, April and
Oldest Family la the World.
May, !a#t oprttig, the amount of freight
Of tbe 400 barons in the British
shipped from Nt. Louis by river was
house of lords about a dozen date
102,000 tons, an increase of 70 per «Mint back to 1400, the earliest being 1264.
over the corresponding months of the The oldest family in the British Isles Is
preceding year.
the Mar family In Scotland. 1093. Tlie
Campbells of Argyll began in 1100.
Talleyrand dates from 1199 and Bls
New York’s Millionaires.
There are in New York city to-day marck from 1270. The Grosvenor fam
Uy. tlie Duke of Westminster. 1066;
1320 millionaires, as against 294 twenty the Austrian house of Hapsburg goes
years ago, and twenty-five in 1853. back to 952 nnd the house of Bourbon
There were no millionaires in the city to 864. The descendants of Moham
100 years ago. The fl rst person to reach med, born 570, are all registered care- j
that distinction was John Jacob Astor, fully and authoritatively in a book kept,
who liecame a millionaire alsiut the In Mecca by a chief of the family. Lit- [
tie or no doubt exists of the absolute;
year 1820.
authenticity of the long line fff Moham ’
The excess of male deaths in Chicago med’s descendants. In China there are j
is now more than 37 per cent greater many old families; also among the,
than the female deaths in a population Jews. But In point of pedigrees the
which con tains only 3 3 per cent excess mikado of Japan has a unique recon! ,
Ills place has been filled by memlier’
of males.
of his family for more thnn 2,500
Topsy'a Fall Maine.
years. The present mikado !s the one
“Mamma, what ia Topsy's other
Nome crank writes: “A good laugh is hundred and twenty-second in the line
sometimes better than a hearty meal.” The first one wns contemporary with name?”
"Topsy in tbe play? I don’t know,
the poor cuss who is starving ought to Nebuchadnezzar. 666 years before dear. I guess she hasn't any other.
Christ.
be tickled to death over this joke.
It's Just Tffpsy. that'a all.”
“GM, she has another name. I heard
Her Attraell ven»««.
Nome women are so good that they
Mr. Aiervey Miss Box ley. I adore papa apeak of it yesterday, but I can't
make every one else feel downright you. Will you nof be my Wife?
think of it now. Oh, yes. I remember.
eavage.
Miss Iloxley (haughtily)—The idea of It’s Topsy Turvy!”—Kansas City Jour
jwur proposing to a girl in my stiitton nal.
Opportunity may open the door to You slMuld know better.
We are all clever enough at envying
success, but it don't waste any time on' Mr. Nervey | do know better, but no
a famous man while he Is yet alivs and
introductions.
richer, Pbilnildphia Press.
at praising him when be is dead.
MISCELLANY
Willing to Oblige.
Fraodaleat Sabatltalloa.
Cheklb Bey, tbe Turkish minister to
Washington, attended in Philadelphia
the launching of the Turkish war ship
Medjldta from tbe Cramps’ shipyard.
During tbe luncheon following tbe
launch Cheklb Bey animadverted fur
a moment to th«.* beggars of Pblladel
phia.
“You have here,” be said, “an enter
prislug and Intelligent collection of
beggars. One uf them approached me
thia morning. He told me a moving
tale uf misfortune, theu be asked me
fur a little money.
“I put my bund In my pocket, tu find
that 1 was altogether out of change.
“'My man.’ I said, T have nothing
for yuu uuw, but in an hour 1 shall be
passing this way again. Then. I prom
ise you. you shall get something from
me.*
“ ‘All right, air.' said the beggar; ’but,
ail the same.’ be added fretfully, ’you
wouldn't believe the amount of credit
1 give in thia way.’ ’’—Boston Post.
Much of that which we eat. drink or
even wear is net what it professes to
be, aud It seems to us that tbe public
■ re for all practical purposes unpro
tected. Need further examples tie
quoted than the following, which we
have often quoted before? A mixture
of linen and cotton is sold as pure
linen, a mixture of wool and cotton
is Hold us all wool, a mixture of silk
and cotton Is sold as pure silk, goods
bought as pure silk lire heavily loaded
with mineral matter to give a spurious
impression of heaviness, grain spirit 1»
■old ua grape spirit or genuine brandy,
tbe same spirit is sold as mult spirit
or whisky. Indian tea is passed off us
China tea. "plantation'’ coffee* is wild
as real Mocha, and cottonwed oil is
palmed off as genuine olive ol). Again.
In Jum and mar mil lade glucose Is sub
stituted (or cane sugar, nnd glucose is
also used in place of malt for making
beer.
The latest addition to this infamous
list Is tbe use* of cardboard wickedly
sandwiched between the leather of the
soles of boots offered for sale and
guaranteed as "solid." A “solid” I mot
in the trade means an all leather boot.
The very necessity of the term implies
fraud, as does all malt in the whisky
trade. And there are those in the boot
and shoe trade. Judging from tlie pro
ceedings in a recent case, who would
hold that boots with "Insoles” of card
board and brown paper might correct
ly be described as “solid” boots. —
Lancet.
Wood's Dispatches.
Sir Evelyn Wood is distinguished by
a wiliness in wblcb be has very few
equals. He gave a specimen of this
during tbe operations following tbe In
dian mutiny. He volunteered to carry
dispatches through the enemy's country
and disguised himself as an Itinerant
merchant, being fairly famillur with
Hindustan«*. Traveling by night and
day. he got too close to a rebel camp
and was arrested and detained. After
being somewhat carelessly examined ho
was allowed to spend the night in a
tent. As he expected, during the dark
ness some natives crawled under the
ennvas and stealthily searched Ills sad
dlebags and wallets, but found nothing
except sundry articles of commerce, the
dispatches having been taken by Wood
from a silt in his turban and burled
underneath the spot where he slept.
Next morning be was permitted to go
and reached the British camp in safety.
—Men and Women.
Billy West's Last Show.
George Primrose's one desire ««‘nn
to lie to perpetuate the act of Primrose
and West which he and the late Billy
West presented for so many years in
minstrelsy. He has adopted the Foley
brothers and taught them every minute
motion the old team used to make. In
this connection Primrose tells aliout his
last interview with West, which took
The German Emperor's 1'flpe.
The disquieting news from Berlin
about the kaiser's throat recalls the
fact that General Grant suffered and
died from cancer in tlie throat, which
waa by many physicians attributed to
excessive smoking. The emiieror has
the same habit.
"Unser Fritz,” the kaiser's father,
who died of cancer like General Grant,
was a great smoker of the big German
student pipe. No picture of Kaiser
Fritz was considered quite right which
did not represent him as pulling at one
of these great pipes as if lie were Bis
marck.
The present emperor has only re
cently succumbed to the big pipe habit.
In his youth he smoked cigarettes, a
little later advanced to mild cigars,
but for some time bus Indulged a tend
ness for the huge, d<*ep bowl«), re
flective pipe with amber mouthpiece
and metal cover.
A Bankrupt br Promotion.
The cost of a commission in tlie Brit
ish army Is well illustrated in the case
of Lieutenant and Riding Master Em
mery of the Royal Irish lancers, who
has Just gone into bankruptcy, with
liabilities amounting to $3,670. Twen
ty-five years ago he enlisted in the regi
ment as a private. He gained an hon
orary commission in 1894, with nn al
lowance of $75<) to cover his expenses.
He was called on to s|iend for new
clothes $470, for two horses $250, for
transit of family to India $75, for fur
nishing quarters $(¡00 nnd for saddlery
$100, a total of $1,495, or $745 more
than the government allowed 1dm. To
help out he had to go to a money lender
for a considerable part of tlie balance,
so that he was really insolvent from
the dny he got bta commission. Not
mueh encouragement for "rankers” in
this.
A Fatal Walking Match.
"IT WAS X.IKK A DBKAM ”
Remote Tasmania furnished recently
a very curious disaster when n Hobart
firm of whisky manufacturers offered
a prize for a walking match.
Forty competitors entered. The route
was to the summit of tlie pinnacle of
Mount Wellington, which forms a pic
turesque background to the Tasmania
metropolis In spite of bad weather tlie
competitors started at 2 in the after
noon in light walking costumes. Half
way up the mountain they encountered
a snowstorm.
Search parties found two competitors
frozen to death, others rigid with cold,
some temporarily deinentud nnd others
who bad lost themselves were resell«!.
Few reached the pinnacle. The winner
covered eighteen miles in 2 hours 44
minutes.
place in tbe Palmer House, Chicago.
We*st was then mortally ill. Primrose
had been telling his old partner about
the wonderfully clever dancing of Ids
two proteges and how they knew every
step of Primrose and West
"I’d like to see tbe boys,” said West,
“but you see I can’t get out of the ho
tel.”
"Well,” said Primrose, "I'll bring
them over here. They can do the dance
for you right In this room.”
The boys went over the next after
noon dressed In tbeir stage clothes and
began the daflce. Primrose beating tbe
time for them.
"It was like a dream for Billy West,”
says Primrose. "He sat there as one
transfixed, ids only motion lieing a sort
Pay of the British Amhaaandor.
of swaying In his chair to the time of
We wish we could feel that Sir Mor
tlie dance. I am sure of one thing, no timer Durand In going to Washington
body will ever enjoy the dancing of was about to receive a salary from tlie
those two boys as Billy West did.”
nation commensurate with tlie impor
tance of the post tie is to fill. Wash
How lit Loa« a Millloa.
ington is now the most important sta
Colonel Ochiltree used to tell a story tion in the British diplomatic service
of how be once lost $1.000.009.
and should be the best paid, even if It
“It was at a banquet.” be would say. were not a singularly expensive post.
"and Senator Hearst of California sat Yet. strangely enough, our ambassa
tieside me. Hearst told how years be dor In a capital where the coat of liv
fore tie and Ida party laid once been ing and service is so Immensely high
helped across the l'latte by a brave red la only paid £6,500 a year, while the
haired boy. The boy to do tills disd pay In Paris is £9,000 and In Constan-
liad risk«! Ids life. Senator Hearst as tlnople, Berlin nnd Vienna £8,000. In
be talk«l on got enthusiastic In Ilin Washington the pay should Is* £10,000.
gratitude to the lad.
—London Spectator.
“ ‘Why,’ he said, ‘If I could only find
Walters’ I.lability.
thnt boy tonight I'd make him a pres
Mrs. Clara Back of New York city
ent of $1,000.006.’
“I could restrain myself no longer at has obtained n verdict of $100 damages
this point. I burst Into teurs. •Benntor.’ for Injury done to a dress through the
I «nid, ‘I am thnt red haired boy. lie- inrelouwi» cf n waiter In n restaurant.
She and her husband were dining nt
bold the boy In me!’
“But Hearst said. ■Ochiltree, you He!' Sherry’s, and the waiter dropped a
"And thus I lost $1.000.01»).” Ex Klass of water on the white crepe de
thine princess gown. The mnnager
tbanre
made profuse a|XiioKira, ut,d no did tie’
Unsophisticated New Members.
waiter, but Mrs. Bock refused to 1»
Representative Billy Lorimer of Chi molllfi«! by fine words. Next day she
cago listened to tbe tale of woe of sent tbe dress to the hotel people, wllli
n new memtier who had many com a demand for Its value. This was re
plaints to make and many questions to fuse«!, so she sued and got a verdict, as
ask.
»fated above.
"It seems to me,” said Lorimer, "that
you new chaps are aliout as unsophis
(oBldeare.
ticated ns the fellow who came to Chi
“Mr. Bllggins seems to have a very
cago and snw a wagon In the street patient and cheerful disposition.”
on which wan painted the sign 'Eagle
"Yes. He says thnt a man needn't
Laundry.’
worry so long as he has Ids health,
"’By gosh? he said. '1 didn't know anti you can always find a sure remedy
any feller could make a living In bta for any Illness by looking through tlie
town washing «agios.’ "
advertisements.”—Washington Stnr
Her Diirmina.
Ethel—I can't decide which of them
to accept.
Kate—Why. that ought to tie easy.
Ethel—I know; but. you nee, Jack al
ways gives me roses, and Ileggte al
ways gives me violets, and the florist
tells me they cost exactly tlie same
orice.—Cincinnati ConimercW Tribune.
• Osffeleaey.
Honestman - I had to discharge my
confidential man today. Hffdidn'tknow
enough for the position.
' Crook«lchap— I discharged mine al»o
He knew too mneb.—Cincinnati Times
Star.
n« Ha« »«it tLaan
Any small boy will tell you that even
"A man dat walks right up to de job leather alippars may be Mt-PLIladel-
of reformin’ de whole world," said Un pS. Record.
.
«
cle Ebon, "very often balks at so alm- I
pie a matter as, breakin* hl «self of | Accuracy ia tbe twin brother of bon-
chewin’ MBncco.”- Washington Star.
aaty SimmuoA