BANDON RECORDER.
emêM«....,_______ ___
:
P olly L arkin
VAtCING FHOM AXOFT.
Peculiar Eieaaptlo« of Sailor Maa
From Accident» of Thia Kiad.
“One of the wonders of seafaring
life," writes Chai I*» Protheroe in "Life
In the Mercantile Marine,” la the sin
gularly email proportion of sailors who
meet with death or accident by falling
from aloft. Whether or no the cherub
who is supposed to sit aloft and watch
over poor Jack la responsible for it I
aiu not prepared to say. but the fact
leuiaina.
“Having to tumble up aloft at all
hours and In all weathers to perform
acrobatic feats that would almost puz
ale a monkey, the aaylng among sailors
about ‘banging en by the eyebrowa’ be
comes almost a truism.
“One would think the situation was
highly aplced enough by danger with
out needlessly Increasing It Yet It is
not altogether an uncommon thing to
see a man, if he happens to be bare
footed, run out along the yard in pref
erence to using the footrope placed un
der it for the purpose, to reach wbat
Is a post of honor, the weather eai»
ring.
“In spite of all this, although not
knowing the actual percentage, I make
bold to say that not more than one
sailor man in hundreds is killed or in
jured by falling from aloft. If 1 use
my own experience as a base, the pro
portion would be less, for In over
twenty years of sea life I was never
caused the pain of witnessing such a
catastrophe.”
Paresis as Teachers.
Of all the teaching in the world
ninety-nine one-huudredt-hs at least Is
done by fathers and mothers. Every
child learns more In the way of actual
facts from the day of Its birth until
the end of its seventh year than It can
possibly learn In all the rest of its life
put together. During these first hours
and yeara of life the child learns to
walk, to talk, and, what is far more
Important, it learns the beginnings of
self control. During the first years the
child puts Itself In touch with the
world Into which It Is born, and In
these early years the parents, and the
mother especially, are the teachers.
They start the operations of the mind,
giving It Its first bent And however
able the teachers of the future may be,
however conscientious and learned, in
the great majority of cases the child’s
future. Its success or failure, depends
upon the first teaching Influences of
the mother and father.—New York
American.
A Live Oak Too.
The bride was fair and slight and
the bridegroom was dark and stalwart.
They made a most Interesting pair,
and the people on the long distance
train who had watched them more or
less openly from San Francisco were
cheered by the sight of a shower of
rice which fell out of the bride's par
asol two days later.
The bridegroom saw the smiles, and.
putting bls arm round bls blushing
wife, he faced the carful of friendly
strangers.
“I reckon there's no need for me to
say we haven’t been married long.” he
announced in full cheat tones, “but I
can teil you one thing. You don't want
to smile any more than ’s polite, for
she's my violet and I'm her Sheltering
oak, and I weigh 204 pounds.”
A Qnalst Examination.
Silence, it appears. Is an unknown
quantity at a divinity examination in
Mandalay. The commencement is sig
naled by the clashing of cymbals and
the beating of drums. While the can
didates are writing their answers they
are surrounded by a Jabbering crowd,
who pass audible remarks about what
is being done. The test lasts ten days,
and the people make the examination
the occasion for gaining merit by
feeding the candidates, and cart loads
of provisions of all sorts find their
way to the pagoda precincts, and Bur
mans from every quarter go round col
lecting money to provide the competi
tors with the necessaries of life and
luxuries as well.—Rangun Times.
Ths Death ot Mark Aatoay.
Mark Antony gave the world for a
woman’s love, but found himself so
poorly compensated by the exchange
that In desperation at the approach of
Octavius and being Informed that Cleo
patra was endeavoring to make terms
for herself by surrendering him he
stabbed himself with bls dagger. Be
ing revived, be received the message
sent by Cleopatra that she desired to
see him. He was carried to her place
of refuge. Cleopatra and her mu Ida
raised him by ropes to the window of
the tower where the fallen queen
found her last home. He was lifted In
and died In her arms.
Pceallarltlso of Fish.
There sre two popular delusions
about fish—one that they cannot live
out of water and the other that they
can live In nny pure water, the food
supply taking care of Itself. As a mat
ter of fact, then are fish In Africa
which, having to exist in absolutely
dry rivers for a portion of the year,
lave developed lungs, while In many an
amateur's sqtisHqm fish cannot !**r in
the water provided owing to lac*: of
food,—lxjtidon Field.
ItHuannblr Orta!a.
“I ttnderstscd old Skta&al bar, got
religion.”
'It’s possible.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Well, if Skinflint and religion have
come together at all I think it la safe
to say that he has got religion. There
certainly Is nothing to lnd*cnte that re
ligion has got him.”—Chicago Toot.
The same boy wwho is taught to be
lieve that the drumstick Is the b st
part of the turkey grown up to Imagine
that hla wife always gives In to hlin.-
New York Press,
~A Self Milker.
Mrs. Meadows— Yaas, Hiram got rid
o’ thet brindie cow tbet uater steal Her
own milk.
Mrs. Komtop Dew tell! I a'poae hr
took most anything be could get fo*
her?
Mrs. Meadows—He Jest got d< u
w*at he paid fur her; sold her to tie-
new man from the city'es a "self
milker.”
* ■»
The preeiou» America cup that Sir
Thomas Lipton has been trying in vain
to recover and carry across the Atlan
tic is now iu real daugtr, for next year
the challenger for the long-coveted
trophy will fly the pennant of Mrs.
Graeme Huuter, wife of the Scottish
millionaire. Mrs. Huuter is enthusias
tic over the idee, aud has arranged that
Mewn*. Iieuny of the Clyde, builder» of
the last two Shamrocks, will build the
yacht, but for a designer she expects to
bring forward a.man whom she re
gards as the equal of Herreabott', Alfred
T. M. Mylue, who has designed a num
ber of fast small boats and whose fifty-
two-footer, Moy and, has gained a name
for itself this season iu all the British
regattas. Mrs. Hunter was preaeut at
the final defeat of Shamrock III, has
been visiting relatives in New York,
and while keenly regretting the defeat
of the trim yacht Shamrock she baa
only praise tor the victor, and the en
thusiasm with which she speaks of the
excellent points of the Reliance is min
gled with her deep sympathy for Sir
Thomas Liptou. She is confident that
Great Britain can produce a yacht bet
ter than any that has yet been oou-
stiucted in America, and as her hus
band, who is mauy times a millionaire,
shares her views on the subject, we will
have to look to our laurels. We may
have beaten Shamrocks I, II aud III,
but who knows what the Scottish
Thistle may do toward bringing down
our pennant and wresting the silver
cup that has been kept on this side of
the Atlantic by the Reliance and carry
ing it back to Great Britain. Polly has
so much faith in women that I believe
where they have a motive in view they
will not rest uutil they have gained
their point and accomplished what they
have set out to do. Mrs. Huuter is an
expert yachtswoman and has made
this theme a study. She will no doubt
note the fine points of the Reliance aud
contrast them with the faults, as she
sees them, of the Shamrock and profit
by the misfortune of the latter. Polly
does not think that Mrs. Hunter, or
any other aspirant for the cup, will
find the American yachtsmen napping,
but still as long as there is an enthusi
astic and determined woman at the
helm of tills new project it Is well to tie
on the alert.
“Home people carry their grief on
ttieir sleeve, Polly, and it is all outside
show,” said an old friend the other day.
“Such people can wail lounder, make a
bluffof wanting to die, too, wear their
friends out by their repining aud con
stant lament, and yet get over their
grief so quickly that It is a marvel to
their friends, for they can be the gayest
of the gay and the most conspicuous
party in any place of amusement
They are the kind, Polly, who prefer to
wear a broad black baud of crape ou
their arm, instead of dressing modestly
and quietly in the plain black that has
tieen the custom for generations past.
Anything for a new fad. Mind you, I
am not a stickler for heavy mourning,
as some people term it, with crape cov
ering uearly the entire drees and heavy
crape vails falling from the crape bon
net and enveloping the figure in its
somber and depressing hue and folds,
nor would I insist upon it if any of my
people objected to mourning. If they
wanted to wear cheerful, bright colors
I would not consider it any lack of re
spect to my memory, still the quiet aud
unpretentious costume in black is more
to my taste and more in keepiug with
my feelings when death has claimed
anyone belonging to me. Everything
bright seems like a mockery to me then.
I want to get away from it all and stay
in the shadow uutil time, the great
healer, has taken the keen edge ofT the
new sorrow. You may think I'm old-
fashioned, Polly, for I can never get
accustomi d to this baud of crape on
the sleeve as a badge of mourning.’’
It is only a fad, this band of orape ou
the sleeve, and it will not last. In fact,
it has already had Its day and its popu
larity is ou tbe wane. Danae Fashion
has already turned it down as a back
number, aud from uow on it will be
the exception and not the rule. I re
cently saw a young lady attired in the
brightest shade of red, and ou her arm
was her badge of -mourning. “That
young lady buried her father only last
week,” said a friend, as she passed chat
ting cheerfully about the new, or I
should nay, the “old” play, “Every
man.” “Things have changed won
derfully during tbe past few years.
Time was when a liereavemeut of this
kiud visited a household that the mem
bers and the nearest relatives bade
goou-uy to society for a certain time—
called the first period of mourning—and
remained quietly at home, giving up
amusements of all kinds. Why, I can
remviubet w hen I wtw a child aud death
called one of my little sisters home that
the whole household was turned into
mounting. Tbe crinieou-covered fur
niture was covered with linen covers
trimmed in black braid, the pictures
were covered over In crape, and even
the servants were provided with mourn
ing. I am glad those days are past, for
they cast a ghxmi over the whole house
hold aud kept the shadow of death in
the house and made us forget that th*
departed was at rest and that there
was a glad, triumphant song at the
coming of a new soul into the land
beautiful. All this hM changed, Polly.
I know of one undertaker who lets in
all the sunshine and pure air ho can
Into the house of death. He, like many
others, has dispensed with the long,
narrow board, etc., and now the quiet
sleeper Is made to appear as if sleeping
sweetly on a little white couch or bed,
aud frequently a canopy of filmy lace
aud white ribbou falls gracefully about
them. Bright hued flowers are used in
designs and bouquets, and on the door,
instead of the stiff rosette aud stream
ing ends, is a dainty, graceful bouquet
of exquisite blossoms tied with white*
illusion telling mutely ot the grief with
in the closed doors and of the one who
baa grown tired by the wayside aud
lain down to rest, sleep, aud awaken iu
a new and a belter world. ’Tb> better
so; we know they are better off; kuow
that they have laid down the trials of
life; never more will they lie weary or
their hearts ache over the sorrows and
disappointments that are In store for
those who are not called hence. I never
grieve for those who are gone, Polly,
but for the ones who are left aud who
find the world so desolate without the
dear familiar faces of those we love.”
THICKS WITH CARDS.
SKILLFULLY done , they will amuse
ANO MYSTIFY your guests .
Hew to Tell Every Card la the Fonk
With lie Back Tamed Toward Tea.
Tke Tklrtv-eae Triek — A Clever
War to Tell Drawa Cards.
flXPOLEON’S tETTER.
Hvw the Initial “M" Fnaatunted th«
Great C«sss«nr’t Career.
From Marengo to Moscow was the
long swing In the pendulum ot Napo
leon's life, the one the greatest battle
out of which be came with his Ute, the
■other the abyss 'which engulfed him.
Mr. J. M. Buckley, who Is a literary
expert on coincidences, points out how
strangel) the letter M played a part in
the life ot the great conqueror
Marbo«* was the first to recognize the
genius of Napoleon st the Ecole Mill-
taire. Melas oftened to him the way to
Italy. Mortier was one of bls first gen
erals. Moreau betrayed him, and Mu
rat was the first martyr to bls cause.
Marie Ixtulse partook of his highest
destinies. Metternich conquered him
on the fl *ld of diplomacy.
Six marshals—Massena, Mortier, Mar-
mont. Macdonald, Murat and Money—
»tul twenty-six of his generals of divi
sions had names beginning with the
letter M.
Murat, duke of Basaano, was tbe
counselor in whom be placed the great
est confidence. His first great bat
tle was that of Montenotte; his last
was that of Mount St. Jean. He gained
the battles of Moscow, Montmlrail and
Montereau. Then came the assault of
Montmartre. Milan was the first ene
mies' capital and Moscow the last in
which he entered.
He lost Egypt through tlie blunders
of Menoa and employed Mlollls to
make Plus VII. prisoner. Malet con
spired against him, afterward Mar-
mont. His ministers were Maret, Mon-
tall vet and Mollien. His first cham
berlain was Montesquieu.
This undoubtedly Is one ot the beat
illusions performed with cards, as it
not ouly brings the whole pack Into
use. but is also legitimately founded
upon arithmetical principles. By this
trick you are able to tell the whole pack
of cards with the backs toward you;
also to sort them after being cut any
number of Units In the mere act of
dealing them oat In a row It la per
formed thus:
A puck of cards being distributed on
the table, with their faces uppermost,
they are picked up one by one in the
While we are on this theme my at
following order: fl, 4. 1, 7, 6, king, 8, 10,
tention has ueeu called to the fact that knave, 9, 2, queen. Repeat the same se
a lady who says she bellevis tn the ries of every thirteen cards. Four times
“eternal fitness of things,” states that over will of coarse complete the pack.
That the above order may be remem
the Poetoffice Department is at fault Iu
not having before this seen to the issu bered, the following words are used as
ing of a mourning stamp. “Thiuk of a a guide to the memory and they are
red or a green stamp ou a black bor Intended to enumerate the cards:
•I
4
1
dered envelope! Gau anything 1 e more
The slxty-foorth regiment beats the
out of place or more absurd than that?”
7
6
king
she asks iu discussing the matter. She seventy-fifth; up starts the king, with
is not the only one who is Interested in
8
10
<
8 knave
this sLbject, for the Poet office Depart eight thousand and three men and
0
2 queen
ment is constantly Iu receipt of requests
for the issue of a mourning stamp for ninety-two women.
Hence this trick is said to be done
use ou black-edged stationery. Peraons
“by wonlt!”
in all grades of life send in their plea
The pack being arranged. It may be
I bat there is no harmony or appropri handed to any »f the company “to cut.”
ateness in an euvelope with a black with the proviso that this operation be
Woriliworth'i Secret.
edge aud a red stamp iu the corner, and done whist fashion—that Is, by taking
And Wordsworth's secret? Any poet’s
they beg the department to Issue a a portion of tke cards off In a mass secret? Well, for aught we can see, It
black stamp. The |>oetal authorities and placing the lower division on wbat remains a secret, a something as far
have given much thought to the sub was before the upper one. This done beyond human subtlety to explain as It
ject but have been unable to oomply fairly and properly, it may be repeated Is ueyond human ingenuity to produce.
with the requests on arcouut of the any number of times, as the audience “The wind bloweth where it listeth.”
muy think fit. You then take the pack "Genius,” “Inspiration”—it is hard to
rules of their Universal Postal Union,
and by a feist catch sight of the bot get on without the old words, vague
which prescribe that our lowest value tom card. Hiving learned this (It may
though they be. Nay, It Is precisely
stamp shall be green; that the stamp be done at l glance, in a second of because they are vague that they serve
used for domestic use shall be red, aud time), you hive the key to the whole so useful a purpose. Even Professor
the stamp carrying foreign mall (6 trick. Then commence it by dealing Raleigh, after speaking almost con
cents) shall be blue, so they have deemed the cards out In the ordinary way. but temptuously of “impatient critics” who
it impossible to meet the r quiremeuts in thirteen heaps. Having dealt out seek to account for Wordsworth's
of a mourning stamp, as the depart- thirteen, begin again and eover them; “amazing Inequality” by assuming that
then go on al before. When finished sometimes he was inspired, at other
men! does not deem it advisable to
there will be of course four in each times not, is heard a little afterward
print a stamp in red and also black, heap. Now every heap will contain all lamenting that In Wordsworth's case,
The suggestion baa been made, never- four of the si me denomination, as the as in Coleridge's, “the high tide of In
tbeless, that the 3-ceut stamp now four knaves It one heap, the four sev spiration was followed by a long and
printed iu purple might lie lamed in ens In another, and so on. The thir wandering ebb.”
One feels like quoting Lowell, whose
black, so that persons desiring a mourn teenth. or last heap, will be of the same
ing stamp might procureone by paying denomination as the one at the bottom arrow in such competitions is apt to
which you hive contrived to see, and, hit the white. Wordsworth, he says,
tlie extra cent.
according to whatever that card Is, all “was not an artist In the strictest sense
the suits will follow, but In the reverse of the word; neither was Isaiah, but he
BRIEF REVIEW.
order, as tbs words above Indicate. had a rarer gift, tbe capability of being
Thus suppose the eight was the bottom greatly inspired.”—Bradford Torrey In
German Winegrowers.
card. Then on dealing them out they Atlantic.
The winegrowers of Germauy have would be In the following order: Klug,
Phil May
Hla Models.
6. 7, 1, 4, 6, queen, 2, 9, knave, 3. 10, 8,
always had an evil repute, as a elate.
Many of the figures In Phil May's
and you begin reciting In the mind the
Nearly four centuries ago Erasmus de
words you use from that passage in the book "Guttersnipes’’ were sketched
nounced them with burlesque violence, sentence, working from right to left, from memory while staying up the riv
protesting that all the ills which afflict which the card Indicates In the above. er.
ed bis old age were due to the foul de You would say:
“One day,” he said, when speaking
on the subject, “I saw a delightful lit
3 knave
8
10
coctions he drank when an innocent
Eight thou land and three men and tle model for my purpose, a dirty, rag
youth, although he had most certainly
ged bit of girl humanity. I spoke to
6
4
9
2
queen
avoided German wines for mauy years.
sixty-fourth her and wrote a message on my card
women;
The trial of Dr. Hchlamp von Hofe aus ninety-two
for her to give to her mother. Next
•
1
?
Nierstein shows that his fraternity
regiment beats the seventy-fifth; up morning she came In charge of an older
still practices the ancestral arts, with
sister, as tattered and unkempt ns her
king
improvements suggested by modern starts the king with, etc. Here, of self. When I had made my sketches
science. It was proved that this in course, Is your starting point.
of the two of them I asked the elder
genious personage, one of the largest
The same principle bolds good what one if she bad any more sisters like
winegrowers of the country, first added ever the card may be. Any person ask herself. ‘Oh, yes. four or five, worse
5 per cent of water to his vintage. ing for a card, ail four of every suit than I am.’ ‘Bring them round,’ said
I. ‘Is the little un to come again?' she
Then he mixed a quantity of cheap may be found In the same heap and
can be quickly turqgd up as soon as re asked. ‘No, I’ve done with her.’ The
Greek wine and fortified the whole
quired with a little practice, to the ut next day they came, the little un In
with ammonia, taunic acid, gelatin,
ter astonishment and wonder of the cluded. She had persisted In it, for
isinglass, raisins aud sugar, finishing company.
she said: ‘He's my artist. I found him
with a few drops of some mysterious
By taking up the cards In the same first.’ "—London Tit-Bits.
li<|Uid which be carried in his pocket. order as before, but all of one suit, you
British Museum Lottery.
The fine is 8300 or imprisonment for may easily discover the position of any
The British museum was begun with
300 days in default. Dr. Hchlamp urged one card that is demanded.
A fine trick with cards is called “thir 8500,000 raised by a lottery scheme. Of
the public prosecutor to spare him on
that lottery, authorized in 1753, the
the ground that nearly all of his col ty-one.” It is played with the first six
of each suit, the aces lb one row, the archbishop of Canterbury, the lord
leagues did the like, and exposures
deuces In another, the threes in anoth chancellor and the speaker of the house
would ruin the wine trade. It was a er, then the fours, fives and sixes, all of commons were the managers and
business-like argument, but the prose laid in rows. The object now will be trustees. Ths amount was 81.500,000.
cutor heard it unmoved.
to turn dowu cards alternately and en raised by fifteen dollar tickets, to pro
deavor to make 31 points by so turning vide 81.000,000 for prizes and 8500,000
or ns near to it as possible without for the purchase of the Sloane collec
Suit for Marred Beauty.
overrunning
IL and the one who turns tions and the Ilarlelan library and for
Hearing of the efficacy of the Roent
down a card the spots of which make cases, house room and attendants.
gen rays for the removal of hairs from
The operations of one “Peter Ix*hciip
him 31 or so near It that the other can
the upper lip, a lady in Hanover, aged not turn down one without overrun Esq.,” says the fxmdon Chronicle, made
36, applied to Dr. Karl Bruno Hchur- ning It wins. This trick is very deceiv; the lottery notorious. He fraudulently
mayer, a properly qualified doctor and Ing, as all other tricks are. and re "cornered” the tickets. 6,000 or so ol
Roentgen ray specialist, for treatment quires much practice to be well under them passing by liis aid to a Sampson
He operated twice, but instead of re stood. The chief point is to count so as Gideon, who sold them at a premium.
An inquiry instituted by the house of
moving the superfluous hairs the oper to end with the following numbers—
commons resulted In the prosecution
ation resulted In the skin of the face vis, 3, 10. 17 or 24. For example, we
will suppose It your privilege to com by the attorney general of I^lieup
becoming red and the lips swollen.
mence with 3 and your adversary The penalty was a fine of £1,000, but
The lady thereupon brought an action
would add 6, which would make It 9. this was by no means excessive, at
against the doctor and was awarded It would then be your policy to add 1 £40,000 was Tx*hcup’s estimated profit!
(60damages,against which heapi>ealed, and make 10. Then, no matter what from the fraud.
but the decision was upheld.
number be adds, be cannot prevent
Savage Revenge of a Gypsy Rand.
you counting 17, which number gives
A young Hungarian gypsy who had
Product of Alcohol.
you the command of the trick. We will betrayed bls party to the authorities
A molocule of alcohol is composed suppose be adds 6 and makes 16. Then after a robbery begged the magistrates
of two atoms of carbon, six of hydrogen you add 1 and make 17; then he adds 6 at Magyar Egres for protection, ns bls
and makes 23, you add 1 and make 24. companions threatened to kill him. The
and one of oxygen; so synthetical al
Then be cannot possibly add any num man was given shelter, but tbe room
cohol is obtained by uniting these ber to count 31, as the highest number was found empty on the following dn«
atoms accordingly. For a long time it be can add Is 6, which would only
Eventr .lly l>ls body was discovered
has tieen known that by direct combi count 30. so that you can easily add the In a flela The eyes had been burned
nation of carbon and hydrogen in the remaining ’., or ace, and make 31. out, the tongue excise«! and tbe man
electric arc acetylene can be obtained. There are, however, many variations to hanged by tbe feet on two aeHcia trees
The body bad been cloven In twc.
Sufficient hydrogen must lie added to the trick.
A clever way Is here given in which
the acetylene to produce ethylene, a
A Slap at Whlatler.
to discern one or more drawn cards.
constituent of illuminating gas. In com
A young San Franciscan, the owner
Turn unperceivcd the bottom card of a
bining water with ethylene alcohol is
pack face upward; then let several of of a large and valuable collection of nil
obtaiued. Thus alcohol is produced In the company draw a card. Reverse the tographs. once wrote to Jam«*« MacNclll
France without the employment of ver- pack rapidly
that the bottom Is now .Whtjtler. politely requeytliw bl'. Mirim-
etauie matter.
the top card, and thus all the other ture. The letter was scut in care of
cards are turned face upward unseen tbe London Royal academy, with which
the famous American painter Was nt
The premier of New South Wales has by the spectators.
Hold the pack firmly In your fingers outs. After four months the letter was
been urged by a deputation of ladies to
returned to tbe San Francisco address
institute the curfew bell, prohibit the and reqnest those who have drawn to
replace their cards In the pack. Thus from the dead letter office in Washing
employment of barmaids and prevent
all the drawn cards will lie with their ton. Covering the envelope was the
the sale of cigarettes to yuuug children. faces downward, while all tbe other word, repeated numberless times. “Un
cards will 11« with their faces upward. known.”
The most prominent Austrian trade You now step aside, select the drawn
union, the Gswerbe Veretn of Lower cards and show them to the company
The Real Fare«,
Austria, baa decided to send a deputa —Boston Herald.
“Man does bls best when be Is hard
____
put to It. Necessity, you know. Is tbe
tion to the United State t In 1904 to visit
Well Connected.
mother of Invention." said tbe observe!
the St. lamia exposition.
Vlaitor—I hear I must congratulnte
of men and things.
yon on the engagement of your son.
“Yea.” replied the bcn«'dlct. "but If
It is announced that the British mu What an extremely nice looking girl
necessity were invention’s mother-in-
seum has fiurchsued the ten |x>und abe la!
law then you'd see how invention
aerolite which fell recently at Urumlin,
Mrs. Nolonger Brown—Yea. and so would have to bump itself.”—Phlladcl
County Antrim, Ireland.
well connected too. In fact. I’ve been phla rress.
told that her ancestors were relation«
I»’,e your neigblior as yourself, but of Vie 8panlsh armada.
Evidence of an Eyewitness.
put a barbed wire fence around your
Guest— Why do you believe In second
wife aud your securities.
If a row threatens you don’t let It go sight major?
so far that you become bitter and are
Major Darby (in an Impressive whis
The fellow who makes a tool of him willing to hurt yourself la order tr per)—Because 1 fell in love at first
self is never lonesome.
hurt your enemy.
Sight!- ranch.
NEW SHORT STORIES CHOICE MISCELLANY
Oscar llamiaeratela aad His Caw.
Oscar Hammersteiu was pacing up
and dowu tn front of his Victoria tbea
ter tbe other afternoon when a boy ap
proached leading Sukey Ixmgtull. the
cow who Ilves in tbe Dutch village on
bls roof garden, says the New York
World.
Sukey had been ill the night before,
and a veterinary w ho had been called
In suggested that she be taken out for
a walk. With much difficulty the anl
ma I was taken down tbe passenger ele
vator. She bad spent hours dodging
trolley cars to tbe joy of a crowd of
small boys.
“Can you get her In the elevator all
right?” inquired Oscar of tbe boy.
“Sure! Kin youse eat?” responded the
boy, who had been hired by the prop
erty man and didn’t know Oscar.
Wltii much clatter boy and cow dis
appeared Inside tbe door and headed to
ward tbe elevator. A moment later
Mr. Hammersteln was startled by a
loud crash of glass, bellows and shrieks.
Darting inside he came upon a wiki
eyed boy flying around at tbe end of
a rope. At the other end was Sukey
Longtail. Around her neck was the
fnfine of a picture stand, and on tbe of!
hind hoof was what was left of a pho
tograph of tbe manager himself.
The cow no sooner laid eyes on O*ar
than she lowered her bead and pre
pared to advance. Mr. Hammersteln 1»
valiant by nature, but he realized that
It would be better to be discreet for
five minutes than a cripple for the rest
of bis natural life, and be disappeared
in the box office. The cow thereupon
laid waste much of the foyer.
Mr. Hammersteln reappeared with a
look of strategy on his countenance. In
one hand he held a white granulated
powder.
Sukey sniffed, and Mr. Hammersteln
called softly after the manner of a
farmer at the pasture bars. There was
more sniffing, autl then Sukey advanc«*d
cautiously. Mr. Hammersteln retreated
to the elevator.
Finally both were inside, and up they
went. At the top the manager backed
out toward the cow stable, followed by
Sukey. An Instant of suspense and the
door was locked.
“Say, boss, w’at w»s yer glvln’ her?”
inquired the admiring boy.
“Salt, young man. salt," responded
the redoubtable Hammersteln. “If you
can catch a robin by putting salt on its
tall you certainly can catch a cow.”
A Riley and Hye Joke.
James Whitcomb Riley tells this:
"Bill Nye and 1 once played a good
trick on a New York millionaire. Twem-
low was the fellow’s name, and he wan
an insufferable snob—Insufferable. Al)
over his house hung family trees, an-
Irish Horal Castle.
There is some talk that Kyle more
castle, in Galway, will be selected as
the royal residence In Ireland. The
king drove through, a. portton of the
grounds during bis recent visit to tbe
Emerald Isle and expressed admirattor
for tbe l>eauty of tbe place ami Its
surroundings.
Kyle more castle Is tbe biggest of all
the great Irish homes, having been
built about twenty yeara ago by Mitch
ell Henry, a wealthy Yorkshire rnuuu
facturer, who sat for an Irish coustlt
uency as a Liberal.
A vast fortune was sunk In tbe build
ing of Kylemore. Some idea of Its ex
tent may be gathered from tbe fa«-t
tha.< there are 200 bedrooms In the
house.
The groumls cover thousands of acre«
and are wltliln a mile or two of th"
coast. The castle has remained unten
anted and neglected for many year«
and the man who built it hardly < n
Joyed It. He had made in the ground«
two larg«« lakes, aud in one of these th -
only duugliter of the bouae was a<« i
dentally drowned while gathering wa
ter lilies.
From that day Mr. Henry refustsl to
occupy It.
No suitable tenant was
found for the property, although It has
been to let for the last decade. A la mt
six mouths ago tbe trustees put II h -
estate np for sale, but the property wus
withdrawn, as tbe highest bld was
only 8150,009.
Sympathetic Brtaaads.
Modern banditti retain In Epirus all
the audacity, with some of the pic
tures«] uen«*ao, of th«* ol«l time brigand
A somewhat striking Instance Is re
corded from the town of Konltza. A
bridegroom, with hla family an«l man
friends, was pro<e«>dlng with violins,
fifes and other musical instruments, ac
cording to the custom of tbe country, to
bring the bride, when, half way, the.«
found themselves beset on all sides by
seventeen urm<*d brigands, who, at the
gun's muzzle, compelled the surrender
of every farthing In money and every
article of Jewelry they possessed -even
to the nuptial ring. The <M>up la-lug
quite successful and the laxity large, as
tbe family was well to do and there
were many handsome wedding gifts
aud personal jewels, the brigands en
tered Into the spirit of the «xvaslon. re
turning tbe nuptial ring and coins
equivalent to 20 pence per bead In or
der that the bridegroom's friends might
not cut a too humiliating figure at tin-
nuptial merrymakings. Then, with
many go«xl wishes for the future happi
ness of the bridal pair, the robbers de
parted.
Shoplifters "Who “Exchaaue” Loot.
Every large department store In New
York city has to make au unnual al
lowance for stealing. A big store In
Brooklyn sets aside 810.006 at th«* lie-
ginning of every year for that purpose.
Stealing by employes makes the small
est part of the losses. Shoppers with
“lifting” proclivities are the chief of
fenders, though truckmen get uway
with many dollar«’ worjb of merchan
dise In the course of a year.
One of the most impertinent features
of this stealing 1s the fact that the
g«xxls are almost always brought back
to the store from which they are taken
and exchanged for other articles or
cash. The old rule of requiring the
check given with the'pureliase to be
brought when an exchange is made
d«x*s not defeat the plans pt the tldevea.
as It Is a rule that was long ago found
to be ill advised, making enemies of
regular patrons who had los< their
checks.—New York Press.
Ai Incenloas Freaehm« t.
“JUST TOLL HIM HIS UMCLB PHOM THS
WOBKHOCaX CALLKD.”
A thrifty Parisian has Dit upon a
ticw system of safety deposit. A visit
wa*-tnade to tlie police station in the
Faubourg Montmartre by }d. Samue.
V., who came to claim a parcel ot
jewels which be had lost a month pre
vlously valued at 800,000 franca. Tbe
commissary consulted his register. M.
V.'s jewels bad been found and taken
to the station by M. L«*on D. "It la
very curious." said an employee.
"These Jewels were lost on the same
date last year and brought here by
M. Leon D. nnd claimed a month after
ward by M. Samuel V.” "It Is very
curious, too curious,” said the coinmla
sary. Explain this strange coInci
dence.” After a slight hesitation M
Samuel V. explained that being afraid
of burglars while away for a month'»
holiday he thought it would be difficult
to find a more secure place to put them
cestral portraits, crests and coats ot
arms. You'd have thought him de
scended In a direct line from at least a
hundred earls.
“It happened in New York one day
that Nye was upset by a dray and
rolled about in tbe mud. When he got
up he was a sight. His cloth«?» were in
rags, his shirt and face black and bls
bat without a rim.
“ ‘Let’s go and see Twemlow,' he said
suddenly. ‘Think how disgusted he'll
be to see me In this rig.’
"We went to Twemlow’s bouse, an«!
a flunky In knee breeches answered our
ring.
‘“Mr. Twemlow Is not at home,’ he
said.
Germans the Greatest Headers.
“ ‘Oh, very well,' said Nye. ‘Just tell
According to recent statistics. Ger
him that his uncle from the workhouse many heads the list as a reading na-
called.' ”
‘tlon, Russia falling to zero. With re
gard to uewspa]>ers. the following facts
The Judge Also Ran.
are even more significant: In tbe Unit
Judge Holman of Indiana, famous ed States of America 75.000.U0U of in
for years ns the “watchdog of the treas habitants are catered fox. by 22.UOO
ury,” was one of the picnickers from journals, while Russia, with Its popula
Washington who went to see tbe first tion of 130,000,000, has only 8OU I. e.,
battle of Bull Ruii fought. He drove thirty-seven times less. This paucity
down with many other members of Is easily accounted for by the censor
congress, firm in the Idea that the Un ship. In Germany the actual number
ion soldiers would make short work of of professional writers is estlmatisl at
the Confederates, and, with the r«wt. 12.000. 400 of whom are poets.
It
was panic stricken when the Confeder would therefore appear that Deutsch
ates chased tke Union soldiers back In land Is not only the "reodhqrest" but
confusion.
the "writlngest" country In tbe world.
Years later be was telling of his ex —Kansas City Journal.
periences. “I was there,” he said, "ami
pretty soon the soldiers and citizens
Criminals* Eyes.
who bad gone to see the battle b)*gnn
A Russian savant lays claim to a dis-
to come by. running fit to kill. I watch covery for detecting criminals. A«x*ord
ed them for a spell, and then I thought Ing to M. Karloff, the scientist ill ques
I’d better be getting along home.”
tlon, you can tell a criminal by tbe col
"Did you run?” asked Judge Culber or of his eyes. Murderers and tblevtsi
son.
have maroon or reddish brown eyt*s,
“I hastened a bit” confessed Hol tramps light blue, and ao forth. M.
man.
Karloff has classified eyes Into fami
"Which way?"
lies nnd has drawn up rules which be
“To tell the truth." said noIman, “I ilf'clares to be Infallible. Honest folk
veered a trifle to the north.”- Saturday have dark gray or blue eyes.—Ixindoa
Evening Post._____________
Globo.
_
tee Test.,
Lily—Well, did you s«*e her? Is It
true? Is she really engaged to him or
is it only Idle rumor?
Nellie—There Isn't a word of truth
in It I had a long talk with her and
told her of tbe men who are Just wild
about me, and she never said a won!
about him.—Brooklyn Life.
Flllaa It Oa.
Dedude- That man called me a liar, a
cad, a scoundrel and a puppy. Wouhl
you advise me to fight for that?
Old Blunt—By all means. There’s
nothing nobler In this world, young
man, than fighting for the truth.
As Others Knew Her.
"Fhe seems to be a natural flirt." he
"Come, dear, kiss my cheek and make said.
up,” she said forgivingly.
“Natural?" the woman Impatiently
"I’U kiss it” he answered, "but I replied. "There’s Dothlt* natural abou
don’t think it wants any more making her but the framework.”—Chicago Rec
•rd-Berald.
Meaa.