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HOW TO BOIL WATER.
Aa la>n»rta»( Paia I Wk»n th» <’»•»•
la Being Mad».
“To boil water la the simplest thin*
In the world." said the steward at on«
of the leading hotels of Washington,
“but bow to boil it la quite another
thing. I believe we have the name oi
having the best coffee of any hotel in
this city. Of course we use good cof
fee; but. let tne tell you, much of the
praise la due to the fact that the water
with which to make the coffee has
been properly boiled. The secret In
boiling water la just this: Always use
fresh water and let the kettle be warm
before the cold, sparkling fluid la put
into it The Are should be quick, so
that the water will boll at once, and
the water should be removed from the
Are the Instant boiling point is reachtai
and poured upon the coffee or tea or
whatever beverage la in demand lm
mediately. So many people make the
mistake of permitting the kettle to re
main over the Are, where the water
■teams and simmers away, wasting
the good water In va^or. Those who
drink hot water before breakfast, as
many do. should Insist on the use of
fresh water and having it served as
soon aa boiled.”
Doctors say, however, that to kill
germs in suspicious water boiling
abould last about Ave minutes—Wash
ington Post
Mantearla* la PnMie Plaees.
Cleanliness may be next to godliness
but the persons who manicure their
nails In the elevated trains and street
ears win-their wsy to paradise at th«
coot of endangering the salvation of
others. Hundreds who wish to make a
presentable appearance at their office*
and places of business use the cars of
the elevated and surface systems at
places In which to complete their toi
lets.
A man will pull a knife from his
pocket and proceed to remove the grit
from beneath his Anger nails. When 11«
completes bls operation he lookstaround
with ths air of one who thinks he
should be commended for his habits ot
personal neatness. He wonders why
many persons glare at him from over
the tops of their papers in such a dis
gustad manner. He does not realise
they have put him down for a consum
mate boor who should be confined in a
separate compartment. — New York
Press.
A Giant ot the Deep.
Tbs American Museum of Natural
History in New York has what is be
lieved to bo the largest whale ever ex
hibited on land. It Is a female finback
sixty-eight and a half feet in length
Its body In life was thirty feet In cir
cumference. It la estimated that at
least fifty men could be Inclosed with
in the interior of this gigantic animal.
The full grown right whale, which is
tbs species usually bunted for its blub
ber and whalebone, averages from for
ty-five to fifty feet only In length. The
whale whose skeleton is to adorn the
museum was washed ashore dead neat
Forked river, New Jersey, last Novem
ber. Scientific theory avers that the
ancestors of the whales were terres
trial or land mammals which gradually
became aquatic in their way of living.
Carina» Cessaek Castes».
Many queer customs and usages are
prevalent among the Cossacks of the
Don. No* man changes bls clothing on
a Monday. If be did it is believed that
he would suffer from a severe skin
disease. On Thursday no fat or flesh
must be pickled or corned. If any one
neglected this the meat would be full
of worms in a fortnight Wool Is not
spun on a holiday, else the cattle will
sicken and die. A hen is ajways given
an uneven number of eggs to hatch.
Dever an even number. Bones left from
a dinner at a funeral are thrown into
the river, else the dead will appear to
the living in fearful shape. And at the
same meal no one dare cut bread; it
must always be broken.
S»m»tking Wrang.
An Australian auctioneer who was
reputed to have more education than
professional ability was endeavoring to
sell some cattle to an audience of farm
bauds. “Gentlemen,” he berm, “I have
a particularly nice lot of heifers and
bullocks, and I may say that the heif
ers preoomlnate.”
He was Interrupted by a very agri
cultural voice from the crowd.
“I
tbort there was something wrong with
’em,” it said, “or you wouldn't have to
eell’em.” ________________ .
Owe Partienlar Reason.
“My dear,“ sajd’Mrs. Cawker to her
•daughter, “when you are at Mrs. Cum
ae’s this afternoon I hope you won't
think of repeating that bit of gossip
about Mrs. Gllfoyle that Mrs. Fosdlck
told usithls afternoon.”
“Why, mamma Y*
“Well, because it would be ungener
ous and unkind, and I don't think Mrs.
Gllfoyle would like It told, and, besides,
I want to tell It to Mrs. Cumso myself.*'
Safety la Nnntber».
Brannigan—Come homo an' teck sup
per wid me, Flannigan.
Flannlgan— fibure it's past yer sup
per time mow . Yer wife ”1 be mad m
a batter.
Brannigan—That’s jlat it; she can't
lick the two ot us. — Philadelphia
Ledger.________________
Why He Obfeeted.
He—I wouldn’t want any one to mar
ry me out of pity.
■he—But they say pity la akin to
10 vu
He—Well, I never could stand for
poor relations.—Brooklyn Life.
Don’t break down a boy's pluck with
a broomstick. There ia a better wsy.
You cannot educate the mind with a
dub.—Schoolmaster.
lie Help Far n.
Dtasatlafled Guest — If your cook
doesn’t put leas red pepper in his
fi is bee, I shall have to quit coming
haro. I can’t stand it
Proprietor of Restaurant—Good heav
ens! I pay my cher 95.000 a year, and
he'd leave me tn a minute If 1 found
fault with bls cooking. Try and learn
to like rad pepper, can’t you 1—Chicago
Tribune.
“Yes," said the guide aa we contin
ued our way through the dark alleys
and narrow streets of Chinatown. “I
could tell you ineidentaenougb to make
an Interesting book of the ins and out*
of this city of the Mongolians. Did
you see that forlorn harking fellow we
passed at the last corner who asked me
for a dime? I have helped that man
scores of times, if you call giving alms
helping—1 don’t. It encourages a man
to cultivate the habits of a vagabond.
Give him work to do and pay him for
It. That is the only charitable way of
dealing with these fellows who have
lost all the boner and manliness they
ever had iu these low dives that infest
K<u Frauclaco. You wouldn’t believe
that be belonged to a wealthy and re
spectable family in New York, but be
does, and he is the only son. They
don’t know where be is, and they have
a<ivertised for him and done everything
they could to trace the young reprobate.
He has sunk so low uow that I doubt
whether they will ever hear of him
again. When he dies be will go to the
potter’s field uulees some oue who
knows bis history will notify bis parents
with the expectation of beiug rewarded.
It is better for their own peace of mind
that be abould go to the potter’s field
and lie in an unmarked grave. He ran
away from home for a fancied wrong
or an injustice which be was smarting
under. There must have been a com
mon streak in bim, however, for from
the time be landed here be commenced
going to the doge. He is finely edu
cated, a good musician, and for a long
time be played in the dance balls of an
evening. He is so low down that be
cannot get even that to do. At first be
held his head high up among the ranks
of the people be mingled with in these
low down resorts; then he was a ‘jolly
good fellow’ with the rest. Now there
is no lower beiug here than this heir of
a well-known New York merchant.
He goes from office to office in the
down-town places of business display
ing a repulsive sore on bis arm that he
lias made by pouring a strong acid on
it. The pain is excruciatiug, but it is
nothing to the gnawing pain be eu-
duree lu bis craving for morphine and
opium. His plea is that be is trying to
get euough money to get home to his
mother, that the hospital is crowded
and he canuot afford to pay for medical
treatment. People will turn away in
disgUBt front this loathsome-looking
arm, but many will at the same time
band him out a dime or a quarter more
to get rid of him than through pity.
Auottier place he goes in be tolls of
having been terribly injured in alogging
camp and of having tramped aud stolen
rides to get to the city to his mother
ouly to find that she bad died while he
was away. This tale of woe nearly
always brings a few dimes, for he in
sists that he doesn't want the money
for nothing, but wishes to work for it.
He tells bow hungry be is, "not having
bad a bite to eat In two days aud that
be has slept on the ground in one of tbe
plazas since his arrival in tbe city. He
knows full well that no one who be
lieves his story is going to let him de g
stroke of work with that dreadful look
ing arm. The dime he gets does not go
for a cup of hot coffee and a sandwich,
which would do his emaciated body
some good, but be hastens off for tbe
hypodermic injection of morphine that
has left repulsive looking sores, or for
tbe opium smoke. He forgets that be
is hungry and homeless for tbe time
being; forgets that he is an outcast and
looked upon as a loathsome mortal who
had better be dead than alive. For a
brief time he wanders in tbe delightful
oblivion of all things that have gone to
make up his sad and checkered life and
is dreaming In the poppy-fields. Whpn
he wakes he will go skulking along the
street avoiding the police, of whom he
is in mortal terror. He has been sent
up time and again as a vagrant. He
would far rather face death, for he suf
fers indescribable torture during his in
carceration iu jail from Ills huuger for
the opiates, which are of course with
held from him. He is only one of those
wretched mortals who infest this sec
tion of the city. There goes another
skulking along like a thief in tbe night.
He Is talented, a fine artist, until tbe
opium king claimed him for his own.
Hee that little fellow, not yet out of his
teeus, he Is another. Staying out la e
at night with a ’gang of the boys,’as
he termed it, ruined his life. The’gang’
have all gone the pace that kills.
"Probably you don't realise it, but
family phycMans who prcrcrib« opiate?
—like opium and morphine—start many
a poor mortal on the downward path.
In many instances It Is unavoidable,
for the patieni ,-vwrM not endure the
great agony that racks their bodies.
Then again, the patient hasn’t enough
will power to let it alone after the doc
tor baa ordered the drug stopped, but
will manage to get it in one way or an
other. One of the saddest cases in this
section is a little woman who is a total
wreck. Her father was at one time
Governor of one of the Eastern Stat««.
She was raise«I in luxury, was the idol
of her family and a bright and shining
light in the realm of society. In fact,
every wish was gratified except one.
She was in love with a young man who
was working for a small salary, and
her parents would not consent to her
marrying bim. Finally tbe father for
bade him tbe bouse. She rebelled at
first, but finally apparently gave in to
the stern decree. She was only biding
her time, however, and when her pa
rents had relaxed their vigilance so that
she was no longer watched both at
home and abroad, eloped with the
young man of her choice. They went
to a distant town and were married
and tbe |«areuts uolifieti. The ouly re
ply she ever received was from her
father notifying her that »be was no
longer a child of his and that ba bad
disinherited her. She wrote to her
mother but received no reply. Fortune
favored tbe young couple and her hus
band was finally able to work uls way
up from a clerkship to the manage
ment of a little biuiuess of his own.
Everything prospered with them and
they were happy and content until a
tire broke out in the town which swept
everything before it. Oue of their little
children never er japed from the house,
aud tbe father, discovering at tbe last
minute tbe abeenceof the child, rushed
into the buruiug buildiug.
When
fouud the child was clasped in his arms
and both burned to a crisp.
"Husband and child dead, tbe home
and property swept away aud left des
titute, she became almost crazed with
grief. Brain fever set in aud for weeks
she lay in tbe shadow of death, theu
she came slowly back to life aud misery
only to find that tbe one tie that bad
bound her totbis earth, her other child,
hud succumbed to fever and passed
away while sire lay raving in tlie hospi
tal. Thinking that ouly a change
would ever restore her to health, friends
in the little town, knowing her sad
history, took up a subscription and
sent her to California. Here she soon
exhausted the funds that had been
giveu her, but fouud sewing *o do. She
was troubled with insomnia, and mor
phine was given her until she realized
the fact one day that tbe appetite for
the drug bad grown until she bad be
come a slave to it. She tried to break
herself of the habit and suffered tor
tures ouly to go back to it. All her
effort* were iu vain. Finally she gave
up the coutest against the drug, and
siuee then her downfall has been rapid
enough. It is drugs or liquor, oue or
the other, until she gets in the clutches
of the law and is sent to jail to serve
her sentence for vagrancy ami to solier
up. During that time the drug gets
out of her system and then conscience
wakes up aud her remorse for her ill-
spent life is agonizing. Again and
again she promises herself to do better,
but when the door swings open to let
her out tbe old appetite appears again
to torment her like a demon and she
falls. A little Halvatiou Army lassie
has done much for poor 'Old Mag,’ as
she is called, for no one knows her real
name, and has kept her straight for
weeks at a time. But she will estrape
from her watchful eye, and the uext
thing she knows poor old Mag is down
deep in her degradation and tbe ever
faithful little lassie hunts her up, scolds
and encourages her by turus aud takes
her to the slielteragain to sober up. In
her sober moments no oue can sing tbe
old gospel hymns with more emphasis
and more sweetness than old Mag. She
feels every word of them, but she is
doomed to misery, a low life in this
world and then the potter’s field—tbe
six feet of earth that make us one size."
BRIEF REVIEW
Lived With the Dead.
An extremsly eccentric personage has
passed away atColyton, Devonshire, iu
the death of Henry de Hpencer King-
don, says the London Express. He
was in bls eighty-seventh year, and for
many years past had led a most se
cluded life. A great collector of curios,
his house was stored with remarkable
thingsof all kinds. His notoriety, how
ever, was gained by the fact that he
kept with him tbe bodies of his mother
and wife, refusing to allow them to be
buried in the orthodox way.
His
mother died forty years ago, and her
body was embalmed and has ever since
been kept In tbe room in which Mr.
Kingdon stored his curios. His wife
died fifteen years ago, was embalmed,
placed in a leaden coffin, and has since
reposed in tbe greenhouse. Mr. Kiug-
don desired that his mother and wife
should be buried on tbe same day as
himself, and some years ago he built a
mausoleum In tbecemetery, with three
sarcophagi, one for the reception of each
body. The deceased was eccentric in
other ways. He was well known twen
ty years ago as a successful breeder of
mastiffs, and such was the affection
which he entertained for his pets that
he once paid one of tbe leading London
physicians a very large sum to come
down and see one of the animals which
was ill.
A Unique Paper.
Iu tbe frozen northlaud, almost with
in the Arctic circle, W.T. Lopp is look
ing after his publication, the Eskimo
Bulletin. It is published at Cape Prince
of Wales, and the Bulletin is issued but
once every »weivo mouth*. Indeed,
under the head of the paper ia tbe an
nouncement, "The ouly yearly paper in
the world."
Vandals in Havana are destroying
the famous old city wall at the Punta,
and its surroundings known as Loa
Foeoe, where the reooncen trades of Gen
eral Weyler were herded together. The
wall between Zuleta and Monserrate
streets Is being torn down for removal,
tbe blocks of granite being used for
building stone.
The lead In black lead pencils is now
made from ooke. It is ground and
mixe«i with iron ore and chemicals and
subjected to pressure under great heat.
As a self-inflicted atonement for sins
committed thirty years ago a Moscow
beggar baa ever since worn an iron chain
from which two heavy weights depend.
OPTICAL ILLUSIONS.
THE KNOCK OUT BLOW.
• «»r Ar» O(tra(lo>»» th» Can»» ot
C'oUtatea» at Sea-
B*»eta Pr»da»»d fcr the Paalllatl«
J«lt »a the Jaw.
All boxers know tbe knock out blow
Hpeuking of collisions at tea, a sea
on tbe point of tbe jaw, and not a few
Mptuin recently said:
“I think 1 can explain the cause of have lively recollections of what it
auiny «■olllsions which otherwise seem feels like, but probably not one in a
Io be mysterious. They arise from the hundred has any idea why the trick
fact tlxat green and red are cornple- has such effective and to tbe performer
uientary colors. Every ship under way valuable results. Tbe generally accept
carries at night a red light burning on ed theory was that tbe impact traveled
her left or port side and a green light direct through tbe socket of tbe jaw to
burning on her right or starboard aide. the bony envelope of the brain, which
Yet vessels go crashing into each other was »tunned by the shock, but Mr. J.
ni>on nights when there lights must be G. Duncauson, writing in the British
plainly visible from their decks. And Medical Journal, suggests another rea
when tbe case comes up tn court and son.
In tbe ear is a set of cnnals filled
an effort is made to establish the
blame of the accident honest men with fluid and lined with a delicate ar
swear directly opposite to each other rangement of nerves. The action set up
by tbe motion of this fluid on the
and believe they are telling the truth.
“The captain of one ship, for in nerves plays an all Important part in
stance, will swear that be saw a red the process of balancing tbe body. A
light on bls port bow and held his sudden and violent rotation of the bead
course. A little later he saw a green produces a correspondingly violent mo
light there, starboarded his helm, and tiou ot tbe fluid. Tbe knock out blow
the collision followed. Tbe men on the planted a little to one side of tbe jaw
other ship swear that where the cap In a somewhat slanting direction causer
tain says he saw a green light a red just such a rotation, tbe muscles which
regulate the turning of tbe head being
light was burning.
“Now, bow does this happen? It hap comparatively weak, and the result is
pen» this way: The captain looks for a complete loss of the power of balance
awhile intently at the red light on the and generally of consciousness also
other vessel. Then for some reason he
changes his line of vision, probably
How Some Maraes Are Abased.
due to a bulging sail above tbe light,
A young uurse of my acquaintance
and. Io, he sees at once a green light, was found early one morning uncon
shifts his helm, and, crash, be goes into scious on the entry floor. Upon inquiry
her! He really does not see any light the doctor learned that from Monday
at all when he looks at the sail, but an morning till Thursday night she bad
optical illusion makes him think be been without sleep or even enough
does.
thue off to bathe and change her
“Try it yourself. Just gaze intently clothes. Of course she was extremely
at a bright red, round object for awhile foolish to permit such a thing on the
and then suddenly look at a blank white patient's account aa well as her own,
wail. A green spot will appear to you. but it was her first private case. and.
Winking the eyes will hasten its ap feeling shy about obtrudiug personal
pearance.’*—New York Press.
wants in a time of general stress, she
had relied on coffee and determination
to pull her through. The stale Joke,
PLANTS THAT CLIMB.
“Why, do you have to sleep? I thought
PeealiarKI»» ot Their Leaves and you were trained!” unfortunately con
Their Modes ef Movement.
tains not a grain of exaggeration. I
It Is in the twining plants, such as have gone to a bouse where after a
bryony and hop, and the tendril bear day’s nursing, a night spent in spong
ers, like vetches, that we find tbe high ing a typhoid patient, at 10 o'clock on
est development of the climbing habit. the morning of tbe second day the
These plants live under unusual condi nurse was still in charge. No one had
tions. In order to gain the light they given her night lunch, breakfast ot
must seek rather than avoid overhang even a cup of coffee. She had been on
ing foliage, and so we find the vetches, duty for twenty-six straight hours,
Instead of turning away from the shad working strenuously all tbe time. Not
ow toward the light, like most of their a member of the household seemed
neighbors, boldly pushing up into the equal to taking her place or indeed
center of a bush to burst into blossom dreamed of the necessity of doing so
amid its upper branches far above Later it was rumored that this girl
their leas daring neighbors.
had become intemperate.—Mary Most
But it is in tbe leaves of these plants in Atlantic.
that we find the most remarkable mod
ifications adapting them to a climbing Book Publishing Ia the Middle Ages.
habit. The leaves of the vetches and
When in the middle ages an autbot
vetchlings are pinnate—they bear a at any European university desired to
number of opposite ovate leaflets. The publish his thoughts bis book was rend
tip of tbe leaf stalk and the uppermost over twice in the presence of the au
pair of pinnae are in the climbing spe thorities and If approved might be cop
cies changed into tendrils—sensitive, led and expo»«»d for sale, a practice in
twining, wblplike structures—which ex which the germs for state licensing
hibit remarkable features. If the slight may be readily distinguished. It was
ly curved, extended tendril of a young evidently necessary, however, to keep
leaf of pea or vetch be watched care a strict watch over the persons em
fully it will be found that it is slowly ployed in this business, and the stat
but incessantly moving round and utes of the University of Paris show
round in a circle. If tbe tendril comes that the booksellers were subjected tc
into contact with a twig it bends to a very severe discipline. They were
ward it and eventually takes several obliged to keep a list of tbe books they
turns around it. Even a slight tempo sold and to exhibit their scale ol
rary irritation is sufficient to cause a charges, and -they were forbidden to
bending toward any side.
purchase any manuscript till it had
Finally tbe tendril becomes woody been duly approved by the authorities
and strong and forms a secure anchor and publicly exposed to view for four
cable for the plant. Not only does the days.
young tendril rotate, but the whole leaf
on which it is borne is In constant mo
Stove» ot th» Middle Age».
tion. The shoot to which tbe leaf be
The stoves of the middle ages and of
longs is rotating also, so that tbe ten the era of tbe Roman empire and
dril Is sweeping tbe air with a compli throughout Germany and Scandinavia
cated motion, in tbe course of which it generally were built of brick, tiles or
is almost sure to strike against some similar material and were so large as
stem or twig of tbe surrounding vege to be stationary, sometimes taking up
tation.—Knowledge.
the whole side of a room, and In tbe
latter country In winter tbe couches
A Fool*» Retort.
and blankets were spread thereou and
One day at tbe court of Ferdinand II. tbe family used them in lieu of the
a silly courtier fancied that he could bedsteads of subsequent years.
amuse those present by his frivolities,
The fire was built at tbe bottom, and
which prompted Jonas, Ferdinand's fa the heat and smoke passed through va
vorite fool, to answer him according to rious flues, distributing warmth, before
his folly. But this so enraged the court they made their exit to tbe chimney.
ier that he shouted: “Fellow, be silent Some of them were faced with porce
I never stoop to talk with a fool.”
lain and were highly ornamental.
“Well, I do,” retorted Jonas, “and
therefore be good enough to listen to
Ai Organ la th» Tenth Century.
me in your turn.”
Wolston speaks of an organ contain
Madeira Island Roads.
In the whole of tbe Madeira islands
there are no wheeled vehicles, for the
roads are too rough and mountainous.
There are a few heavy sledges drawn
by bullocks, but tbe favorite modes of
locomotion are hammocks slung on
poles and borne by natives and basket
sledges. The latter are used for de
scendlng the mountains and are skill
fully guided by a runner behind.
Ovportnniti«».
ing 400 pipes which was erected In the
tenth century In England. This instru
ment was blown by “thirteen separate
pairs of bellows.” It also contained a
large keyboard. There are drawings of
that period extant which represent the
orgau as an Instrument having but
few pipes, blown by two or three per
sons and usually performed on by n
monk. The keys, which were played
upon by hard blows of the flat, were
very clumsy and from four to six inch
es broad.
About tbe end of the eleventh centu
ry semitones were Introduced into tbe
keyboard, but to all appearances its
compass did not extend beyond three
octaves. Tbe introduction of pedals in
1400 by Bernhardt—giving a compass
B flat to A—was another Important
contribution to the Instrument These
were merely small pieces of wood op
erated by the toe of the player.
However a man Is gifted, whether
for active enterprise of thought or
charity, there lies around him a world
of opportunity. Bo far behind are we
socially, morally. Intellectually, that
one might be forgiven if he supposed
the world were made but yesterday
and nothing had yet been done. Does
no ambition Are us to help the de
spairing, starving, sinking people
around us? If a few more years be
Work Far HI» Sheep.
added to our lite, would we not strive
A resident ot London wiib a UoRetbr
to put something right, tn sweep out deviled kidneys foijnd h'mrelf recent
some little corner, to awaken some
ly In a remote west of England village,
soul to see and rejoice In the growing
where a sheep was killed about once
light’—Good Words.
» week. Not knowing that mutton was
a luxury and kidney a for obvious rea-
Bird Snperstitlnn».
sons, therefore, a rarity, he presented
In many parts of England there are
himself day after day at the village
eurious superstitions about birds. Tbe
butcher's with the same request for his
stonechat for Instance, is believed to
favorite breakfast dish. The butcher,
be continually chatting with tbe evil
looking upon his customer as a lunatic,
one, so It la held in bad repute, and as
bore It aa long as be could, but on the
tbe raven commonly Impersonates bis
fifth day eald indignantly, “If you
sable majesty it la ranked in the same
think, young man. that my sheep have
category of evil birds. Sometimes, how
nothing better to do than to lay kid
ever, tbe raven’s appearance, so It is
neys for your breakfast you be mortal
held, forebodes a death.
mistook.”—London Answers.
Nntnral C»n»ln»l»n».
“Ef dey's milk In paradise dey mns’
have cows dar,” said Brother Williams,
“en ef dey got honey dar dey sbo mua’
have bees, en wbar bees Is dey’s blos
soms, en whar blossom la dey’s always
watermllllons In season, bless de
LawdP—Atlanta Constitution.
IMvMln* th» Desk.
The entire commercial wealth of In
“
Now,
Johnny,** said tbe teacher,
dia’s .'<00,000,000 inhabitants la In the
who bad been describing a war ship to
hands of 90,000 Parse«« and Rajahs.
tbe class, "bow is the deck divided?**
“A deck Is divided.” replied the
It coats 2 cents to cook a breakfast by
bright boy, “Into spades, hearts, dia
electricity and 10cents to cook a dinner. monds and cinba.”—Philadelphia Proas
Lucky Ckntoo.
Mrs. Crawford—She married a car
penter.
Mrs. Crabshaw—Isn’t that just love
ly! Now she can have shelves put up
whenever she wishes without baring
to ask the landlord over and over
again.—Puck.
HUMOR OF THE HOUR FACTS IN FEW LINES
The Buay 9ea«oa.
In tbe Hiring a thinner shadow
haunts tbe young man's pocketbook,
and be easts upon each nickel a lean
and hungry look.
In the spring a
brighter yellow blush Is ou the butter-
lne aud boarders are suspicious of the
azure tinted cream. In the spring tbe
festive angler frtmi the ground extracts
a worm and with fiendish glee impales
It on a hook that makes It squirm. In
the spring a woman's fancy turna to
thoughts of stylish hats, while bei
Weary, careworn husband thinks a lot
and murmurs “Kata!” In the spring
the jolly farmer with a chuckle doth
begin painting letters on a shingle,
“Summer Boarders Taken In.” The
bunko man gets busy -the kite la on
tbe string—thus we realise there's al
ways something doin’ in the spring.—
Chicago News.
What He Loe*.
Shakespeare was reading tbe latest
news.
“Here’s a fellow getting a dollar *
word!” he exclaimed.
“Too bad,” returned Johnson. “Just
think what l’d have got at that rate!"
Determined to have tbe last word
anyway, '«e returned to bls dictionary.
—Judge.
Kxr»rta(lan» ot a Windfall.
“Dear,” said the physician's wife
“when can you let me have 910?”
’'Well," replied the medical man, “I
hope to cash a draft shortly, and
then”—
“Cash a draft? What draft?”
“The one I saw Mrs. Jenkins sitting
in this morning.”—Philadelphia Ledger.
Hl» Method.
“Have you any evidence against the
prisoner?”
“None,” answered tbe detective.
“Then why did you arrest him?”
“It's a great idea of my own. When
the real criminal sees an Innocent man
in trouble, maybe he'll come forward
and confess.”—Washington Star.
Not Coadaeiv» <• Ren»»».
Baldy—Dis spring wedder is too aw
ful. ain’t it?
Restful—Yes, too blasted invigorat
in’.
Araaaed Her Interest.
Miss Citygirl—What are you plant
ing, Uncle Hiram?
Uncle Hiram-Salad. miss.
Miss Citygirl—Oh, bow interesting!
Now do tell me, which is the chicken
salad and which the lobster?—Philadel
phia Record.
In Their Ahern»».
“That reminds me,” said Barnes at
the height of tbe street fight. “Why
are the police like electricity?"
“Give it up,” said tbe chorus.
“Because,” Baid Barnes, “It is an un
seen force.”—Boston Transcript.
Natural Deduction.
Little Mae—Is a mau who hunts rats
called a ratter, ma?
“I suppose so, my dear.”
Little Mae--Then a woman who
hunts moths must be a mother, ain't
Bbe, ma?—Brooklyn Eagle.
Large Head».
“Why in the world is that hatter buy
ing hats of such extraordinary sizes Y’
“Oil, lie has a store in a town where
a great many college boys graduate.”—
Chicago News.
Criticism.
Foote Llghte—What is tbe effect
when a critic “roasts" you?
Sue Brette— Why, it makes my blood
boil.—Yonkers Statesman.
Right Ug With th» Crowd.
"Is your minister progressive, Mrs.
Pray more?”
“Oh, yes! He wears a sweater.”—
Washington Poet.
A Ball Market.
Rooster, Jr.—What’s the matter, pap?
You look downhearted.
Rooster. Sr.—I'm short on corn.—Bos
ton Herald.
An Karly View.
Man 1» th» rhythm, woman the rhyme,
Weaving together the poem ot time,
Life’s ever continuing ode.
He clears of brier» and show« her th«
way.
Lead» her and guide* her through night
and through day,
___ Whit» "he »tr»«s with rosea the road.
He seeks the measure, suiting the thought,
labor with laurel and thorn crown*
fraught,
Laavlng It polished and terse.
Hers is to lollow. to watch ar.4 tc f-.o»”
With a smile end a klas and a heart load
of cheer.
For rhyme at the end of each verse!
And when thus the inasun * attuned by
the rhyme
(A wedding Is blest by the church bells'
chime).
Then lite la a poem of gold
But often the rhythm falls ever to hall
Its musloal mate through the length of
th» tale—
»»•••••
And blank ver» is prosy and cold.
—New Orleans Tlmw-Democrat.
Carlag a flank» Bfta.
This ia how the Indiana of Central
America cure a snake bite: They pin
the unlucky patient to tbe ground and
wind strong creepers above and below
tbe bite until they cut Into tbe flesh.
Then they apply a live coal to tbe
wound to cauterise It and follow that
Tea Maar X*».
up by rubbing In a mixture of chewed
Mother—You are at tbe bottom of tbe tobacco and crushed garlic. By this
spelling class again, are you. Dorothy?
time the victim is nearly mad with
Dorothy—Yes, mummy.
pain and ready to kill everybody In
“How did that happen?"
sight, especially when ba finds, aa be
"I got too many ■*■ In scissors.' "— often does, that tbe snake was not
Boater. C!:tr
venomous.
Gelatin stlffes«al jellies contain 96
per cent wster.
Tbe greatest ranching country of the
Canadian northwest Is Alberta.
Tbe I zhh I ou Time« pays its Berlin
cur respondent 96.UUU to 910,000 a year.
In the United States one death In ev
ery slxty-flve ia either murder or sui
cide.
London has over thirty King streets
and the same number of Queeu street»
or roatls.
Mining companies in the United
State* last year paid 9150.000.000 in
dividends.
Five hundred and two patents have
been takeu out by women tn Germany
■luce 1877.
It lias often happened that cables
have been destroyed by submarine
earthquakes.
Switzerland is to have still another
connection with Italy, an electric rail
way from Col re to Arona.
Four times as many passengers were
carried by trolley roads as by steam
road* In Massachusetts In 1902.
Tbe bouse in which Robert Burns
died at Dumfries is now let as a dwell-
lug place at a rent of $05 a year.
At New Romney, Kent, England, a
set of ancient stocks has been discov
ered In a cellar of tbe courthouse.
The total of bequests and gifts made
in 1902 to educatioual and other insti
tutions in this country was $86,OuO.oUO.
The Halifax school board wishes to
discontinue teaching Infante sewing on
the ground that it causes defective vl«
aion.
Of every thousand men accepted for
the United States army last year 33.44
were born in Germany and 24.78 in
Ireland.
About 100 years ago the use of starch
for stiffening the frills round the ueck
was considered highly reprehensible, if
not positively sinful.
A monument designed by Newton
Thorp and to cost 945,000 Is to be ere«.*t-
ed in San Francisco in commemoration
of Dewey’s victory at Manila.
Recent British experience Is claimed
to show that propeller blades of circu
lar shape have a much more powerful
grip of the water than those of oval
form.
The shah, who inherited 1,000 wives
from his father, has reduced his harem
from 1,700 to tJO, “an astounding Inno
vation," as uo previous shah has had
under 1.500.
The late surveys of tbe English coast
show a loss of land of 40,000 acres
since 1807, although in some places, as
at New Romney, the solid ground has
been pushed out two miles or more into
the sea.
Since his appointment as Jailer of the
Tliames police court thirteen years ago
nearly 120,000 prisoners have passed
through tbe hands of Sergeant John
Baker, who retired recently after some
twenty-six years’ police service.
Telltale tattoo marks recording their
constancy lu love Identified two prison
ers in North Ixnidon re<*ei>tly as desert
ers. “I love Ix>ttle Bartln,” confessed
the left arm of oue, while tbe other
man bore the initial letters of tbe name
of the beloved object.
Taxes are paid on 29.000 dogs in Ber
lin. In addition to this number, there
are 2,103 watchdogs, 221 dogs belong
ing to blind and deaf people, 2,052 dogs
used for drawing small carts and 118
belonging to the kaiser or to members
of foreign embassies.
Wbat may be termed a musical type
writer is an Instrument to be attached
to a piano for tbe purpose of writing
down in musical characters all tbe
notes of the tunes played upon it. This
new Instrument is adapted for the use
of composers and those who have to
arrange music for bands.
Tbe Baptist temple. Brooklyn, has a
remarkable chorus choir. For tbe past
year fifty-four of the members bad a
t>erfect record of attendance, and the
average of the entire chorus was over
95 per cent. The chorus has an organi
zation of its own. This chorus has done
fine work f<fr a number of years.
The birth rate in England and Wales
last year was 28.0 per thousand of tbe
imputation, slightly higher than in 1901,
but lower than in any other year on
record. The death rate was 10.8 per
thousand and was tbe lowest on record.
Tbe natural Increase of tbe population
l>y excess of births over death« was
MS,739.
The pope recently granted an order
to M. Bettlui. who showed bls holiuess
a phonograph made by a new system.
Tbe pope recited into the phonograph
the Ave Marla and tbe Benedicite,
which the machine repeated with mar
velous accuracy. M. Bettlnl intends to
exhibit the records In various parts of
Europe.
Leaves of a plant alleged to drive
away mosquitoes have reached English
botanists from Africa. The presence
of a single plant ia stated to clear a
room of the pest, and an infusion of
tbe leaves has been found an effective
substitute for quinine in tbe treatment
of mosquito conveyed malarial fever.
The plant proves to be a kind of basil.
A unique method for Insuring the
freshness of eggs has been adopted by
the dairymen's association In the vicin
ity of the city of Kehl. The agents or
this association register each egg un
purchased. When a consumer chances
to find a stale egg. he returns ft to the
dealer,
Juro rejm.’t» it to the as
sociation, which charges It to the farm
er.
Proposals are before the department
of agriculture for seriously regulating
and systematizing the consumption of
timber in the United Htates. Htate-
•UVIKS by Professor Fernow, director of
the state college of forestry of Cornell
ualverslty, predict that, according to
present statistics, the forests of the
world must be entirely consumed with
in the next thirty years.
lalwrlaeo.
Parent—Is blowing a French horn
likely to result tn injury to my boy?
Doctor-You can be sure It is, Mr, If
be blows It near my bouse and I catch
him.—Chums.
Steek V».
“Stick to me,” said the wall paper to
tbe paste, “and we’ll bang together.”
—Philadelphia Bulletin.
Justice dtscsrds party, friendship
and kindred, and la therefore repre
sented as blind. Addieoa.