f
BANDON RECORDER.
SPEECHES THAT LIVE
Oraterle Tri amp ba That M*a< Ike
T m * at HraUia*.
It is often said that if a speech reads
well It Is not a good speech. Tbere
may be some truth in it. The reader
cannot, of course, get the impression
which the ap**k*r conveys by look and
tune and gesture. He tacks that mar
Velons influence by which in a great
assembly tbe emotion of every Individ
ual soul la multiplied by the emotion of
»very other. The reader can pause sad
dwell upon tbe thought. If there be a
fallacy, be is not hqyrled away to do
something else before he can detect it
8o. also, bis more careful and deliber
ate crith-lam will discover offenses of
style and taste which paM unheeded in
a speech when uttered. But still the
great oratoric triumphs of literature
and history stand tbe test of reading In
the closet a a well as of hearing In the
assembly. Would not Mark Antony’s
speech over the dead body of t'tesar,
bad It been uttered, have moved tbe
Roman populate as It moves the spec
tator when the play Is acted or tbe sol
itary reader In his closet? Does not
Lord Chatham's “I rejoice that Amer
ica has resisted” reads well? Do not
Sheridan's and Burke's great perora
tions In the impeachment of Warren
Hastings read well? Does not "liberty
and union, now and forever,” read
well? Does not “Give me liberty or
give me death” read well? Do not Ev
erett's finest passages read well?- Sen
ator Hoar In Success.
Laoskltr Better Thsa Pilla.
The cure for the bilious man la a
clown, not pills. For indigestion go to
a show where there are one or two first
class fools who know how to make
“monkeys" of themselves. The fun.
however, should be clean, innocent,
harmless and hearty, with no sugges
tlon of indecency or vulgarity. In oth
er words, the fun should be "hygienic.”
Fun that to foul and malodorous is un
healthful.
The best sort of fun for the dyspep
tic to the fun that burlesques the fol
lies and foibles of the odd "characters"
you have met. if you can't find the
■how with the burlesque "artists" wlio
can make you laugh, seek out compan
Ions who are Jolly and who know the
art of clowning.
Don't let any half baked pilot load
your mind with Ills business or domes
tic troubles. When you get an hour or
two from the desk or store, abandon
yourself willingly and cheerfully to the
frivolities of a jocular friend.—Whut to
Eat.
Ib» thing. Tbiuk of a girl bar
log five or six d"*eu Isaar’lful cup* aud
saucer«, all of them ex penal v* aud the
majority of them black coffee cup*,
dainty aud as fragile as an eggshell.
Mauy bride* to be would receiveeuougb
engagement cu | m aud saucers to fill her
A man, who bad been mh^udged at
cbiua closet. Polly saw an engagement
home and abroad, died in Han Fran-
cup aud saucer aud an accompanying
now
hia
faiu-
cisco the other day, and
plate that waa prized more highly than
lly aud others, when it to too late to do
all the other beautiful pleura of hand-
the quiet sleeper any good, are singing
painted china by tbe bride to he. It
his praise aud »bedding tears over their
was of the finest ware, ornameuted
lack of appreciation. He earned an ex
* lib gold bands, and it wa* over a hun
cellent salary enough to keep his wife
dred years old. It had been one of the
aud daughters provided witb luxuries
gifts to the donor’s greai-graiidmother,
they craved and allow them to enter
who had been presented witb the full
tain in a style in keeping with that of
set when she herself was a bride. But
some of their wealthier frleuds—but be
tbe fad of the engagement cup and
gave them a< ertalu allowance for house
saucer is on the wane, says “Bailie
hold expeuses and clothing and never a
Sharp." Tbere are many things to be
cent more. He was ever a kind and
desired by a bride beside a deluge of
loving lather and husband, but was
cups and saucers, and they have
firm in this one thing, be never gave a
changed tbe custom. Now wheu an
cent more than tbe allowance. Wbat
engagement to aiiuouuced a friend, in
be did with the remaiuderof bis money
stead of giving tbe usual luncheou In
uooueknew. “1-ost it In speculation,
her honor, issues an iuvitatiou for a
possibly gambled," whispered some of
“bride’s liueii shower," or a kitchen,
tbe doubting friends. He dldu’t spend
china or glassware shower. The In
it for bis own comfort, for he ueitber
vited guests send in care of the hostess
drank or used tobacco; be was not ex
tbe gilts according to the shower speci
travagant iu dress, iu fact the family
fied. On tbe appointed day, iu tbe
were always hiuliug that be waa posi
presence ot her friends, tbe honored
tively shabby. As tbe older children
guest la greeted with a shower of useful
reached the age that they wanted to
as well as beautiful presents. A llueu
enter society and entertain, they grew
■bower give* au opportunity for tbe
impatient and fretful when be would
donors tosbow tbeirskill in needlework,
not add to their allowance. They said
for beautifully embroidered doilies,
he waa parsimonious and selfish and
drawn work, hemstitching aud initial
did not greet him on bis return from
ing handsome sets of napkins and table
business with the loving kiss they had
cloths, bed linen, and even to fashion
been wout to do. It hurt him, but be
ing exquisite bits of lingerie, a marvel
bore it uncomplainingly. They even
of beauty to the feminine mind, with
told friends confidentially that be was
its material of finest texture, and fine
too stingy to give them enough to live
laces aud ribbons are in order. Tbe
on, and they in turn told their particu
presents for tbe linen shower are all
tar frieuds how cruel this man, who
placed in an Immense pillow-case made
had once been a prince of good fellows,
with a secure flap over one end, secured
was to his family. He waa never seen
with ribbons so that nothing can fall
at a place of amusement, and he bad
out. This is suspended from the ceiling
grown gray-headed aud stoop-shoul
aud over p table at which the bride to
dered. He waa ill a long time aud
be is seated, chatting with friends. At
needed rest, but would not give up.
a given time the hostess pulls the rib
He seemed to have drifted out of the
lions that tie the flap and down eomee
'family circle. While they were mak
the welcome shower of acceptable gifts
ing merry among themselves or wRh
friend» he waa sitting silently before' u|*on the young lady. Upon each article
is attached tbe name with congratula
the fire in his own room with a news
tions of the donor. This mode of pre
paper until the bouse became quiet so
senting the gifts would hardly do in the
he could rest. His brother workers
case of a kitchen or china and glass
brought him home from his office one
ware shower. They must be arranged
day ill, but he explained that it was
at a table where all can see and com
only a fainting spell and the alarmed
ment on tbe beauty and usefulness as
household calmed down and went on
the case may be.
with their preparation for an entertain
ment that evening. Th* next morn
Polly knows of several friends wbo,
ing he waa worse aud the family physi-
sian was called in. “You have called when it comes to giving a wedding gift,
me too late,” he said, and informed tbe band together. Tbe gift they could
dying man if he had any business af afford, if they had to give it alone, is
fairs to attend to he had better not 1 not as handsome or as elegant as they
|a>atiM>ne it. The weary man smiled would desire, so these few chosen friends
as if he was glad be was so near the combine their gift money and purchase
end of life’s journey. A lawyer waa a handsome piece of cut glass or silver
hastily summoned and was closeted ware, a beautiful water-color or china
with him for some time, but he did not ware, aa tbe case may be. The Lenten
reveal tbe dying man’s secret.
All season is passed and June, tbe most
through the long hours of the night the popular month of tbe year for wed
family watched beside the unconscious dings, is approaching, so the above
man until the first streaks of dawn items may be of special interest.
iBÎtBBBÎÎBÎt*
i||
P olly L arkin . ||
THIEVES HETTY AND STUPID
Moders
lavaarioa Ha» Driven
(be Orens Hie*.
S*vy I* Weed ef teas* Saaweeaa.
Vaarilr B»atak»»*la*.
Vesuvius, th* famous Italian voice-
no. 1* 3,948 feet high.
Next to Liverpool Bremen to now tbe
leading cotton market of Europe.
Scotland shipped 11.279,422 ton* of
coal last year, constituting ■ record.
Tbe growth of vegetarianism In th*
United States to gradual, but peratoteuL
In engine propelled cycle* British
maker* can claim pre-eminence of th*
World.
Fifty million gallons of petroleum
Were produced In Burma and Assam
last year.
Tbe Homan Catholic nuns in th*
world ar* alleged by a atattoticiaa to
number 458,000.
Tbe tight fitting British uniform to
alleged to be tbe cauM ot much heart
disease among soldiers.
Within twenty year* the south has
Increased Its railway mileage 162 per
cent and Its exporta 95 per cent.
The bicentenary of tbe founding of
St. Petersburg by Peter the Great In
1703 will be celebrated this year.
Two sections of th* city of York,
Englaud, have a public bouse to every
thirty males over seventeen years of
age.
One hundred and seven thousand
tons of ireanuts were bought at Mar
seilles In 1902 for use in makiug oitv*
oil soap.
Tbe Homestead mills produce, with
ibout 4,000 men. three times aa much
steel as tbe Krupp works produce with
15,000 men.
That the gaa engine, large or small,
to now developed to an efficiency at
which It can rival the steam engine In
reliability to admitted.
A link with Ireland's literary history
of tbe last century baa been severed by
tbe death of the wife of Colonel Rob
ertson of tbe (Jordon highlander*.
Tbe Royal Geographical society baa
recently acquired the boat’s compass
used by Dr. IJvlngstone on bls first
Journey down the Zambesi valley in
1856.
An English writer has recently de
scribed a battleship as tbe last word
mechanical genius, naval conatructlon
and caah payment can ■ay in aggres-
alveness.
Six employeea of a Barrow (Eng-
land) engineering flrm have received
prizes ranging from $5 to $50 for sug
gestions tending to thp more econom
ical production of work.
In the electrical furnaces now In use
quartz to volatilized at relatively low
temperatures, and lime and magnesia
become vapor before the highest tem
perature possible Is reached.
During practice at St. Helena's fort.
Isle of Wight, at a towed target a shot
ricocbetted from the sea and struck th*
passing steamship Serbtotan close to
three men standing on the deck.
Out of 150,000 children whom th*
surgeon at I^eds, England, lias exam- •
lued as to their fitness for factory la
bor 50.000 were found to be rickety In
consequence of Improper feeding when
babies.
The British government recently ap
pointed unpaid vice consuls iu four
targe towns In France, where such
posts have not hitherto existed, and
found In each case well qualified Brit-
Isb residents willing to undertake the
duties.
The total value of tbe exports of
animal products In 1902 was about
$3,000,000 greater than the like exports
of the previous year, but there was a
decrease of nearly $8,000,000 In th*
value of cattle exported. This was
due to the sharp demand for beef cat
tle In this country.
The nearest star, whose distances as
tronomers think they know, is Alpha
Centaur, and It to distant from ua four
light years- that to to say, Its light I*
four years In reaching us, although
traveling at 186,000 miles ■ second.
This estimate places it 252.000 times
as far away as the sun.
The national trades and tabor con
gress of Canada baa Issued an appeal
to organized labor to join with It In ad
vancing tbe Interest! of Canadian la
bor. The congress is a new body, re
sulting from tbe action of tbe Domin
ion trades congress in favoring inter
national as against national unions.
Tbe governments of German cities
were prior to tbe taw of 1892. which
Bismarck championed, notoriously cor
rupt through spoils of polities, but ar*
today tbe models of efficiency and hon
esty, Tbe prominent features of the
taw for their deliverance are home
rale. compulsory service of the clti
sens In municipal affairs, long tenure
of office and civil service.
An eminent English student of eco
nomics. Professor Smart, regards tbe
trusts In Britain “as In tbe main the
elimination of the unnecessary—tbe un
necessary persons, tbe unnecessary
process, the unnecessary machinery of
production aud distribution.
They
mean smaller cost of raw material*,
the dispensing with costly advertise
ments. larger shipments, fewer middle
men and a smaller staff.”
A somewhat remarkable textbook for
the use of young German soldiers has
just been published. It deliberately In
structs soldiers to Inform their superi
ors of sll kinds of offenses committed
by their comrades. Services of thia
character are stated In the textbook to
be a high duty and worthy of com-
Uiendation. If th* ■osher bear* any
thing derogatory to his officers or to
tbe kaiser, be Is to fetch a policeman.
At the present rate the British gov
ernment sooji will cease to be English. __
It will be composed ef Scotsmen and
Irishmen. Tbe present prime minister
Is a Scot, as are tbe leader of the oppo
■Itlon. tbe chancellor of the exchequer,
tbe attorney general and tbe secretary
of the board of trade. The lord chan
cellor. the solicitor general, the secre
tary for India, tbe foreign secretary,
tbe war secretary and tbe chief secre
tary for Ireland, all are Irishmen.
“My account book.” she said proudly, •
There la a great demand In tbe navy
k»r young medical oflli-era. Th* need of "aboaod that 1 bad $8.15 more than I
laalatant surgeons iu tbe medical corp* really did have, so I felt at liberty to ’
expend tbe exceaa."
a very great, there being at tbe pres
“But tbere wasn’t auy excess," be (
ent time twenty-aeven vacancies in
protested.
that grade. Surgeon General Hixey la
“Oh, ye*, there was.” •be replied
trying to attract young medical men “The book showed It.”
Into thia service. He la now In the
“If you didn’t have th* money,” be ,
South Inap.'i-ttng a hospital at I’enaa- urged, "ft was a shortage."
roia. He I .ends addressing several
"Certainly not,” she returned. “It t
medical colleges and calling to the at was right tbere on tbe book $8.15 >
tention of the student* the desirability more than I bad -and when tbe balanc* >
of a naval career. Not long ago be de was so much bigger than It should be 1
livered an address at tbe Jefferson felt free to spend tbe money.”
“If you bad bad more money In your ’
Medical college; in which he dwelt up
on tbe opportunities for young medical purse than tbe book showed.” be sug
gested, “what then?"
graduates in the navy.
“1 would have spent It.” she an
Tbe work to be performed by tbe
medical corps In tbe navy la growing swered. “Either wsy It's ail the aarne.”
And now he Is tryiug to get her to
every year. Tbe authorized strength
of tbe navy now la about 38,000 and give up keeping accounts — Chicago 1
within tbe next six year* will probably I’oet.
reach 50,000. The enlistments and re
Ne •yaamrtby.
enlistments require tbe constant at
“Charley, dear.” said young Mrs. Tor-
tendance of surgeons to make physical
kins. “you know 1 never blame you
examinations, and besides this routine
for anything that is not your own
work tbere are fourteen naval hos
pitals. witb naval stations, navy yards fault.”
“But when tbe horse you bet on loses,
and receiving ships, where the services
that Isn't your fault. Is It?”
of members of the medical corp* are
“Charley, dear, the winner was Just
needed.
as easy a horse to bet on as any other,
Applicants for admission into thia
wasn't it?”
branch ot tbe service must be between
"Why—er- yes.”
twenty-one and thirty years of age,
“No one forced you to bet on some
physically sound, of good high school
other horse?”
education ■nd master of their profes-
“No."
■Ion to a degree that would insure a
“Then 1 can’t see that you deserve
successful career In civil life—Phlla-
any sympathy whatever."—Washing
delphia Press.
ton Star.
"Tbe people who nowadays give tbe
detectives most trouble are tbe mem
tiers of that vast horde of petty thieve*,
both white aud black, that infest every
great city,” said one of the moat effi
cient detectives of the Washington de
partment. “Tbe days of mammoth bur
glaries, diamond robberies and bril
liant thieving operations have passed,
perhaps never to return, and instead
of the really shrewd, calculating and
bold thief of half a century ago w*
have today a mob of pettjr pilferer*,
who are far from possessing one-tenth
part of the brains and wit of tbe old
time thief, but manage nevertheless to
give the police a vast deal of trouble.
"The progress of Invention has put
the shrewd thief and burglar out of
business. Hay, for example, a man
■teals several thousand dollars. Very
well. Tbe moment he does so be real
izes that In order to retain his 111 gotten
gains he must leave tbe acene of the
crime, realizing that he to In nowise
prepared to cope with modern detec
tive and police methods. Probably be
fore he leaves the city telegrams and
telephone messages have preceded him
to the cities of th* United State* and
Canada, and be Is nabbed the moment
he reaches his destination. But *up-
poalng that be escape* all these traps
and reaches souis foreign country—
why, be Is simply In as bad a plight
there as be was before leaving home.
Nowadays there to hardly a govern
ment or country with which the United
States has not entered Into an under
standing whereby criminals are caught
and returned, and what few and far
distant states witb which our govern
ment has failed to draw up any such
arrangement can be very easily man
aged In cas* Uncle Sam wants to get
any of his missing children back.
“The result to that no really bright
or shrewd ja-rson would think of un
dertaking a Job of burglary or stealing
in this age. None but the desperately
poor, the dei^neratea, morphine users,
the Hubinerg<d tenth, so to speak, now
adays practice stealing. They are too
stupid to realize the danger of such a
course and plunge headlong into a ca
reer that must sooner or later land
them behind the bars."—Washington
Post.
Artlstie Wall Paper.
■U m .
The artistic side of the manufacture
She put the book down with a sigh.
of wall paper, says the Wall Paper
“What is it, darling?” he asked.
News, is tbe development of a very
“Ah, dearest, I’m so happy,” she re
recent period.
In this development plied.
different manufacturers and designers
“But you had such a sad look In your
have had a band. Some of these are eyes Just now.”
living today ■nd deserve all honor for
“I know. I've been reading about tbe
their taliors. If any one man has had unhappiness that the wive* of men of
more to do with this work than any genius have always had to bear. Oh.
other that man was William' Morris. Alfred, dear. I’m so glad you’re an or
When William Morris first entered dinary plug of a fellow!”—Chicago Rec
upon ills work, there was very little ord-Herald.
that was artistic In wall paper. When
he finished his work, wall paper was
Nat Werth Break!**.
a thing of beauty and a Joy forever.
Dealer-These are the most beautiful
The period In which Morris worked lay cut glass tumbler* we have; $48 a
between the years 1856 and 1896. Thus dozen.
the Influence of William Morris was
Mrs. Housekeep—I’ll take them, but I
so recent as to tie almost present with want you to label them “Seconds. Imi
us today, and it is not too much to say tation cut glass. $1.59 a dozen.”
that not a line of wail pa|>er is manu
Dealer—That's a remarkable request.
factured in this country or In England
Mrs. Housekeep—Yes. It’s merely to
that does not show marked traces of deceive the servant girl.—Philadelphia
his taste and originality.
Press.
FIRST OCCURRENCES
Envelopes were first used tn 1830.
The first steel pen was made in 1830.
Postofliees were first established in
1404.
The first luclfer match was made in
1829.
Kerosene was first used for lighting
A Stabborn Haaband.
In 1826.
A most interesting phenomenon is
The first steamboat plied the Hudson
the stubborn husband. He is not ii bud
In 1807.
man. He is contrary, and in; lias to ! h ‘
The first balloon ascension was made
managed. He is usually married to a
In 1783.
clever little woman, who is constantly
Omnibuses first appeared in New
devising schemes to accomplish the
York in 1830.
things which make tlielr joint Ilves a
The first locomotive was run in this
success.
country in 1820.
He has no suspicion of this. If lie
The first watches were made at Nu
had, be would be so mad he could un
remberg in 1477.
doubtedly cat her. So all through life
she goes on swinging a turnip ahead
The first English newspaper was
of Ills nose to make lilm go the same as
published in 1588.
though lie were a balky mule. She is
Pins were first manufactured in this
a cheery little body, and she grows
country soon after the war of 1812.
plump with every year, and she does
The first complete sewing machine
her smiling liehind the door or she heralded the advent of a uew day.
was patented by Ellas Howe, Jr., in
BRIEF
REVIEW.
Then
for
a
moment
he
rallied,
and
chuckles In tier sleeve when he is not
1846.
by. The stubborn husband is ns inter smiled upon the conscience-stricken
The first Uuion flag was unfurled on
group who, too late, remembered what
Canada’s Game Fields,
esting as a bug. -Ixindon Standard.
Jan. 1, 1776, over the camp at Cam
a good father he had been to them,
To one who knows what tbe vast bridge.
Marriage by Captare.
aud recalled the fact that he had never solitudes of Northern Canada really
The first newspaper printed In tbe
Marriage by capture Is a very old spoken an unkind word to them in his mean the dread of game extermination United States was published in Boston
and very widely spread custom, It life. There was only a moment of
seems rather uncalled for, says the Out on Sept. 25. 1790.
prevails among the Hindoos, the Kal recognition and then he had passed be
ing. The latest census of Labrador
mucks and Circassians and the primi
The Potato Plaster.
yond the heartaches and diaappolnt- gives it a population of one man to
tive races of Australia, New Zealand
The potato planter of today would
ments
that
lie
had
borne
so
uuconi-
every
thirty-five
square
miles.
Thia
and America, but Instead of alsluetion
make a farmer of a generation or so
can hardly be called an inconvenient ago sit up and rub bis eyes. It re
being considered an outrage l»y these plainingly and silently.
half civilized peoples it Is looked upon
crowding. There are almost as many quires that the pstatoes be supplied,
as a preliminary marriage rite, and, ns
“Whqt will the family do now?” persons in a single East Hide New York but will do all th* rest of its own in
a general rule, the coy damsel Is by no said the wise sages who Invariably block as there are In the whole of La itiative. It picks the potato up and
means averse to the mild violence.
gather at such a time to whisjier words brador. Why should game becomeex- looks it over, or seems to, cuts it into
Abduction became so common in Eng ‘ of condolence to the mourners and map
tinet in this region? I must confess I halves, quarters or any desired num
land In tbe reigns of the Tudor princes
out
their
future,
aud
endeavor
to
find
can
see uo reason why tbe caribou and ber of parts, separates the eyes and
that a statute was passed on the sub
removes the seed ends. It plants whole
ject. and this was followed by an act out what the family has to live on. the bear and the other animals should potatoes or part* thereof ■■ desired a*
of Elizabeth which took away tlie lien Nearly everyone knew be bad made not live out their lives just as they have
near together or as far apart as the
eflt of clergy from the offender, and it money, had been almost miserly with always done. The number killed by
judgment of the farmer on tbe driving
was not till so late as the reign of his family, and yet had not, as far as man must surely be quite insignificant.
seat suggests.
Having dropped tbe
George IV. tliat the crime ceased to lie was known, saved a dollar. Even the Tbe same conditions obtain in North
seed it covers it, fertilizes it, tuck* it
a capital offense and punishable with family shuddered at the bleak outlook ern Outario, the greater part of the
in like a child put to bed and paces off
death.
for the future. The man who was Northwest Territory and a very large the next row with mathematical ac-
taking his first and last long rest in tbe part of British Columbia. The date is curacy.—Chicago Tribune.
What the White House Is,
To the American |>eople the White narrow bed prepared for him, had been far distant when there will not be suffi
Tbe OlAest Libraries.
House represents the personality of the charitable to some extent, but he took cient game to spare for tbe sportsman
Tbe oldest libraries of which w*
president of the United States. To the no chances and always euquired into I wbo is content to take the bitter witb
politician the magic words may stand the merits of the case before be con the sweet and leave behind the luxurl- have any certain knowledge are those
brought to light by excavations among
for the goal of an ambition too often tributed. “What a spendthrift he must ousness of tbe fashionable resort.
the ruins of the east. Among these
associated with the deepest and most
have been," said Mrs. Busybody as she
are the Babylonish books inscribed on
poignant disappointment, while to the
Antitoxin’s Value.
clay tablets, supposed to have been pre
historian tlie name may typify deci hurried from room to room, makiug
sions that have marked epochs In tlie herself so conspicuous, as was her cus
Thierry and Bertail recently reported pared for public instruction about 650
affairs of nations. In the mind of the tom, that she had tieen named tbe ■u epidemic of diphtheria in and near B. C. It Is said by Aristotle that
people, however, the official character “professional mourner" by many of her Argenteuil, France. On July 2, 1900, a Strabo was tbe first known collector of
of tbe building Ims always beep subor acquaintances. “One thiug la certain, patient with diphtheria arrived from books and manuscripts. Tais wa*
■bout tbe year 330 B. C.
dlnate to Its domestic uses. Popularly tbe family can never live in tbe same
Dijon. Up to March 9, 1902, seventy-
■peaking, tbe White House Is the place style they have lieen used to,” said Mrs.
nine cases ol diphtheria had occurred.
Oar Cemorea Wee.
not where tbe president works, but
Busybody with a sigh. “Poor things, All the patients received from 10 to 20
“Beg pardon, air,” remarked the ma*
where he entertains.—Charles Moore In
never been brought up to turn their cubic centimeters of antltoxiu, wheu who was banging to strap No. 1, “but
Century.
bands to anything. I’m sure I don’t fl ret seen, and in many cases this was do you get off at the next corner?”
“I don’t see that It is any of your
know what Is going to become of them.” repeated in a day or two. Of the sev
A Miffitalce Somewhere.
business,” replied his fussy neighbor.
“la It true, Miss Gertie.” he said,
enty-nine cases but two died, and one
“Well, no,” admitted the mild gentle
“that there are Just two things a wo
The doleful words of lamentation of theee was the original patient from
man, “but I was merely going to re
man will Jump at—a conclusion and a
ceased
and
the
joyful
news
went
wing
Dijon. Blight paralysis occurred in but mark that I get off there and if you
mouse?”
“No." «he answered; ’'there Is a third ing on its way when tbe truth was four cases. Tbe case histories of all will be so kind as to lift I’d like to tak*
made known
He __ was no miser,
no
____ ,
__ seventy-nine patients are given in de that foot with me!”—Baltimore-News.
M’.FNHp.”
After thinking tbe matter over a few spendthrift, but a provider for hla I tail. Theae results show the great effi-
Marvelosa Measorl»».
moments he tremblingly made her an family.
famiiy. He nad
n*d two or three pieces of cacy of anti-diphtheritic serum.
Atnoug men noted for wonderful
offer, but she dldu't Jump at It. lie property that would bring a small
memories were Milton, who was said
was not tbe right man.
amount per month and might in time
Tbe bacillus of the grip is an infini to be able to repeat Homer: Professor
become valuable, and be had twenty tesimal affair, but it creates a world of Lawson, wbo boasted that ne could re
Bat Appraelated.
BJenks-It certainly seems to me that thousand dollars life Insurance for his trouble. It la said to be only one aix- peat tbe .whole of tbe Bible, except a
a man like HJackson. who has worked family, which insured them from being teen-tbousandtb of an inch in length few verse*; Lord Macaulay, wbo made
hard all his life and brought up a fam in any great need if it was rightly and ooe-eighty-thouaandth of an inch the same boast about “Pilgrim’s Prog
lly of sixteen children, deserves a .rest managed. His family bad been iu his In breadth. It make* up in numbers ress” aud “Paradise Lost;” Dr. Lerden,
a friend of Sir Walter Scott, who could
deal of credit.
mind day and night, and be was de what it lacks in sise.
repeat an act of parliament on bearing
BJones—No doubt. But he can't have termined to provide for them in tbe
It read but once, and a I»ndon report
It at tbe store*.—Homerville Journal.
event of his being taken away. Every
A striking resemblance has been er, wbo took no note*, but could write
dollar outside of their monthly allow pointed out between the remarkable out an unexpected debate verbatim.
When you have eaten one apple ance for family expenses had gone to
ancient ruins at Zimbabwe, in Rhode Henry Clay could not memorize a sin
dumpling, you feel like another. Walt
keep up his life Insurance. How easy sia, and antiquities In Cornwall.
gle stanza of a poem, but never forgot
a little, and the dealre will disappear.-
a name, a face or an argument.
it is to misjudge people, and bow fre
School master.
quently we do this very thing. It to
Seventy-one patents covering appa
Nat the Sea»».
A Trataia* Table.
better far to give the accused tbe benefit ratus for wireless telegraphy were is
“It’s a merciful dispensation of I’rov
“Friend of mine today.” a*ld Mr. Kid
of the doubt, and let someone else do sued in tbs United States last year,
Idence that make* consumptives al
der. “waa talking of coming her* to
making the total number 100.
ways hopefnl. It’s just heaven s mercy the censuring.
board.”
that keeps them from realizing bow
“I hope.” remarked Mr*. 8tarvem.
For a long time past it has been tbe
Thirty tons of cauliflower* frotq Italy “you were pleased to recommend our
bad they are.”
“Huh! And what Is It that keeps popular and correct thing to do when are now being landed daily at Folke table and”—
•otn* singer* from realizing bow bad the engagement of a couple wa* an stone for the London market.
"Sure! Told him it waa just the
they are? Would you call that heav nounced, for tbe friends of the young
thing for him. H*'a a pugilist ■nd
en's mercyr -a>ti>tbollc Standard and lady to send her an engagement cup
It takes ninety threads ot the spider want* to iBcreaae bla reach”—Cathode
Time*
Standard and Time*.
and saucer. My, but bow they did to equal in size one of the silkworm
■
HOICE MISCELLANY HUMOR OF THE HOUR FACTS IN FEW LINES
Oar
A Navy Boy oa the Navy.
Victor G. Foree, one of the Kansas
City boys who are now serving In Un
cle Ham's navy, to at borne for a thirty
days' furlough after completing a
cruise around the world. He Is now
serving on board the battleship Wis
cousin. He to immensely pleased with
bis chosen profession.
“I wouldn’t trade place* with any
boy In Kansas City,” be said the other
day. "We get the finest treatment im
aginable, and any fellow who will be
have himself to given every possible
chance for advancement. In addition
to the technical training that we get
the general education given on board
tbe training ship to as good aa you
would get at many a college. We nre
given an especially stiff course In
mathematics, as all that Is needed in
bear Jim Jonslngs
the study of navigation.”—Kansas City pinched. What's got him in trouble?”
Journal.
“Hi* sportin' blood. He bet de copper
dat he wouldn't arrest him.”
Marled Tressare.
“What did de cop do?”
In 1836 Willard Burson made liia her
“He took him up.”
mit home in what was known as Itock
Creek township, Ind. White settlers
Laaaehed oa His Literary Career.
moved into the locality, and Burson,
“I understand your son bas decided
not wanting neighbors, shouldered bls to go in for literature.”
flintlock gun and with his wife and
“Yes, and he’s made a splendid start
children disappeared into tbe wilder- already.”
ness. A middle aged man came to the
“You don’t any?"
place a few days ago and identified
“Yes; he went to auction this morn
himself as Bunton’s son. He went ing and bought a secondhand writing
quietly at midnight to where the old desk for only $4.98.’’—Catholic Stand
dead sycamore tree lay and commenced ard and Times.
digging. The farmers living near and
who saw him at work say be uncov
The I'nhappy Aether.
ered a large box and then drove rapid
Little Brother—Let’s see. What la
ly away, disappearing as his father tbe title of that new book of yours. Mr.
had sixty-seven years ago. Several Bcrybbler?
English gold coins were found on the
Mr. Bcrybbler—“The Boundary Line/
ground next morning, where they bad
Little Brother—Ob, yes. I sup|>ose
fallen from the rotten box.
that'* what sister was trying to say
Tha <*■»»■ *■* Her Cows.
The kings of Bavaria have long de
rived a profit from certain breweries in
Munich, and now Queen Wilhelmina of
Holland is making money by selling
milk and butter. Her first step in this
direction was when she induced her
husband. Prince Henry, to buy several
cows, which were placed on the rich
land adjoining tbe castle of Loo. Tlie
cows prospered exceedingly, and tbe
queen was so pleased with the success
of tbe experiment that she instructed
the manager of her estate* to visit sev
eral stock farms and to purchase thirty
sf the best cows that could be obtained
In Holland. This has been done, and
milk and butter of excellent quality are
now being sold from the royal farm.
Located by aa K**.
Mia* Nancy Smith, who is employed
in a department store at Paoli. Ind.,
placed her name and address on an egg
which waa luciuded in a •lupmcm it» a
Hoboken (N. J.) firm. Nothing more
waa thought of the matter until re
cently the young woman received a let
ter from a young man In Hoboken
whose father had bought the egg of a
local grocer. Tbe name being the same
as his own, he wrote telling how the
egg waa found, It transpired that the
young woman and her Jersey corre-
•pondent were flrat cousins and that
her father and tbe father of the Jersey
man were brothers who were separated
many years ago and knew nothing of
the location of each other.
when she said It was “The Limit.’’—
Baltimore American.
Anoreheaslve.
"Those Vermont farmers wbo say
they'll have to bear their maple sugar
disappointment philosophically seem to
have tbe right sort of grit.”
"Ye*; I'm afraid, however, that a
good deal too much of their grit will be
found In the maple sirup.”—Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Plraty at Room.
“Yea,” said the detestable bore, “at
that moment my heart was In my
mouth.”
"Of course that didn't Inconvenience
you,” said the sarcastic person, “for
four heart Is so small and your mouth
h so big.”—Baltimore Herald.
•he’s Right.
She—I'm right because I'm right!
He—How do you know?
Hfie— I'm .right because I'm right. I
don’t need to know.—Pittsburg Ga
zette.
The Vai» of Sllaae».
“And now onr gid time friend. Meek
ly. has joined the silent majority.”
“What! Meekly dead?”
“No; married.”—Atlanta Coostltti
tlon.
J sat
Little Elmer—Tapa, what is the bone
of contention?
Professor Broadbead—Tbe Jawbone
my son —Judge.
Acree*.
The Artist.
P-Jette— De Auber is the most ego
tistical chap I ever met.
Brasher—How’* that?
Palette—Why, every time be paint* a
landscape be imagines he flatter* na
ture.-Chicago Newa
■
Dereptlve Hearts*.
“To hear that young clerk talk yo*
would think he owned tbe place.”
“How’s that?"
“Why, be never says a word against
hto employer*.”- Kansas City Journal.
“My wife and I agree perfectly about
some things.” remarked Mr. Meekton.
with a gentle amile.
"Indeed?"
“Ye*; when anything goes wrong I
take it for granted that it Is my fault,
■nd Henrietta alwaya thinks so too.”
■he’s
8he—I'm right because I'm right.
He—How do you know?
She—I'm right because I'm right I
don’t need to know.—Pittsburg Ga
sett*
Campila» oat».
Miss Koy—In discussing the “galaxy
of beauty” at the ball the other night
Mr. Grafton paid me quite a compli
ment.
Miss Hpelta—The idea! That’s so so
like bim. I never before beard of hie
paying anything before it’s due.—Phila
delphia Pre**.