BANDON RECORDER.
T POLLY LARKIN 1
J
In a neighboring city lives u young k_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
man whose name is Carr. Carr is deep
Thought He Mianed a Car.
ly smitten with the charms of a young
woman who resides witli her mother in
a pretty villa near Sandlake, on the
line of the Troy and New England rail
road. He asked permission of his in
amorata to call upon her at her home,
and the young woman accorded him
the privilege. Mr. Carr reached the
villa where his Juliet resided and
pressed the electric button at the door.
The ring was answered by the mother
Of the young woman. The latter bad
never seen the young man. “I’m Mr.
Carr," lie said, liowing profoundly.
“Um—er—well,” was the reply which
staggered him. “you may sit on the
stoop until one comes along.”
Five minutes later the daughter told
her mother she expected a caller and
asked who liad rung the bell. She was
Informed that there was a young man
sitting on tlie stoop who liad missed a
car. The daughter looked through the
blinds and saw her lover perilled dis
consolately on the steps. He was quick
ly within tlie portals and mutual ex
planations followed. Albany Press and
Knickerbocker.
“Millicent C-----’s" question should
have been rescued from the query-box
last week, but all questions were crowd
ed out for lack of space. This does not
often occur, and never willingly, for
l'olly aims to answer all the queries
which fall into the question box, and
that without delay.
« « « «
“Miliicent C---- ” is in a world of
trouble. She admits having heart com
plaint, and says she doesn’t care who
knows it. She is interested in a young
man whom her mother does not ap
prove of because he is addicted to the
drinking habit. While he takes his
glass with congenial friends once m a
while and seems to suffer nothing in
consequence, there are times when for
days together he forgets family, home
and friends. She has a good influence
over him and would, she thinks, if
married, be able to reform him. Her
mother will not give consent to her
marriage and the skies are clouded and
the future is dark for Millicent incon
sequence.
« «««
Jack may be the dearest fellow in the
world, Millicent, and may possess all
the noble and refined traits that go to
make him a genial friend and a wel
come lover, but your mother is right.
If Jack will not reform during his
courting days and give up the habit
that is breaking down bis constitution
and ruining his prospect«, rest assured
he will not do it after you are married.
Tears ami sorrow will lie your portion
then and your pleadings will be in
vain. Jack is unfortunate, but you may
be able to win him from the error of
his ways by gentle persuasion. He is
one of those natures you can lead but
never drive except to destruction.
Not long since 1 heard a woman re
mark that “it was a cruel shame to
take works of the standard authors,
works of art, etc., and cheapen them
by placing ordinary bindings on them
and printing them on such common
paper that they could Is* sold for a
mere song. Why, even the commonest
laborer can att'ord to read 'the books,
and It takes the cream oil' the enjoy-
merit we would otherwise have in pe
rusing the pages to know that the rali-
ble is reading them as well. Makes
them so common. The other day I
heard two factory girls discussing “The
Crisis,” by Churchill, “The Right of
Way,” by Parker, ami last but not
least, that sweet, sad story, “Audrey,”
by Mary Johnston. They seemed to
know what they were talking about,
for they hail positively devoured the
b oks and knew them from beginning
to eml. Made the cold chills run over
me, however, to think that the best in
literature was seized upon, almost be
fore the ink was dry, by people in the
The Verdict of a Jury.
ordinary
walks of life. I think that
“Nothing is more uncertain than the
action of a Jury,” said a lawyer prom the first series of tlie new bmiks should
inent in New York. “I remember a be placed at such a price that no one
story my father told me when I was a else could read them until after they
boy in Alabama. Tlie story was of ills had beoome an old thing to the four
Satanic majesty and a plain citizen hundred and ceased to lie talked about.
who met one day on a narrow pathway Then if they must make them com
cut in the edge of a cliff, tin one side mon, throw them broadcast on the
there yawned a precipice; on the other
side was tlie solid rock. There was market.”
««««
only room for one to pass, and of these
I
wouder
if
there
will is* room in
two one must lie down and let the oth
heaven for that woman, thought Polly,
er walk over him.
“‘If you’ll propound three questions and I wondered if she would not be so
I can’t answer,’ suggested Satan, ‘i’ll exclusive that the touch of angels'
lie down and let you pass over my wings would came her to shrink away
BRIEF REVIEW.
body.’ The citizen asked:
into outer darkness. The opinion of
“‘What is whiter than snow?*
Diseases in American Cities.
this woman showed her to be devoid of
“ ‘Cotton,’ was tlie answer.
all
the
womanly
graces
that
tend
to
The
causes of a given number of
“‘What is sweeter than sugar?*
throw a gentle refinement and tender deaths differ considerably between the
“‘That’s easy again molasses.’
‘“What will be the next verdict ren sympathy around the true woman. She cities in the United States. If we look
was shallow and narrow minded, living for typical places indifferent sectionsof
dered in tills county by a petit Jury?’
“ ‘Puss on your way,’ said the devil for her own little fat hionable sphere the country, each having had in 1900
as he made a carpet of himself.”
and begrudging the enjoyment of books about the same number of deaths, we
to those who toiled for a living She shall find Allegheny, Pa., with 2385
Catgut From Sllkwormi*.
Probably but a small percentage of would have willingly paid ten dollars deaths, Atlanta, Ga., with 2387 and
the fishermen who use tlies strung with for a copy of a novel if she was sure the Denver with 2484. Comparing the
fine translucent catgut are aware tlint toilers or “common people,” as she causes of deaths in these three cities we
the almost unbreakable substance that called them, could not get them. What find Allegheny to have been particu
holds the hooks against tlie fiercest a tyrant she would lie if she happened larly afilicted with diphtheria, typhoid,
struggles of the struck fish comes from to lie placed in a position where she rheumatism, cancer, bronchitis and
silkworms. The principal center of could rule and her word was law. She pneumonia. Atlanta was pre-eminent
the manufacture of this kind of cat would lie tempted to destroy the flow among tlie three for malaria, diarrhoea,
gut is the island of l’roclda, in tlie bay ers by the wayside after she had passed paralysis, croup and brain diseases.
of Naples, but most of tlie silkworms for fear the common horde would enjoy
Denver was high in consumption, al
employed are raised near Torre An
nunziata, at the foot of Vesuvius. The something of their beauty and fra coholism, rheumatism and cancer. In
caterpillars are killed Just as they are grance. I wondered if she ever got be the eleventh census there were maps
about to begin tlie spinning of cocoons, yond the narrow limitsof self and what showing the regions where any given
the silk glands are removed and sul • her companions must be to find any disease was unusually prevalent. In
jected to a process of pickling, which thing congenial in this feeble-minded formation of this sort has not yet been
Is a secret of tlie trade, and afterward woman, but I figured it out in this published by the twelfth census. To
the threads are carefully drawn out way: She had not been accustomed to
by skilled workers, mostly women. The wealth all her life, and must have sud the general population of the United
States tlie most dangerous diseases are
length of the thread varies from a
denly acquired it. The good fortune found to be consumption, pneumonia,
foot to nearly twenty Inches.
had turned her never too well-balanced heart disease, diarrhoeal diseases, dis
head, and in her effort to appear at eases of tlie kidneys, typhoid fever, can
Turcoman Rrldeo.
When a Turcoman belle is to be set home in her new surroundings she had cer and apoplexy. Females, in addi
tled In life, the win de tribe turns out. overstepped all bounds ami published tion to being afflicted with numerous
and the young lady, being allowed the to outsiders what she was mainly try maladies peculiar to their sex, are speci
choice of horses, gallops away from ing to conceal from the common gaze; ally subject to measels, diphtheria, the
her suitors. She avoids those she dis in other words, she was out of her ele
whooping cough, influenza bronchitis,
likes and seeks to throw herself In the
way of the object of lier affections. The ment. Possibly she Is to be pitied more dysentery, septicaemia, obesity, anae
moment she is caught she becomes the than blamed. Polly would be willing mia, peritonitis and cancer. It is easy
wife of her captor, who, dispensing to wager that the factory girls who had to account for the fact that a greater
with further ceremony, takes her to read “The Crisis,” etc., knew more number of men than women die from
his tent.
about what they liad read in a moment theell'ectsof alcoholism, lead poisoning,
The bride race is also an established than this woman of leisure who re accidents and injuries. Although wo
custom among tlie Kalmucks, ami the gretted that they should have had the
men get burns and scalds, they are al
girls are such excellent horsewomen privilege of enjoying good literature.
most entirely exempt from suicide,
that, we are told. It would be impos
gunshot wounds and railroad accidents.
»»»»
sible to catch one against her will.
London Standard.
Every day of the world I’olly is thank
To Fill Naval Vacancies.
ful that the best literature of the day is
B onn Your B onn .
Japan,
like the United States, is suf
published at such a figure that high
Boss your boss Just as soon as you
fering from a shortage of naval otlloers,
and
low,
rich
and
poor
can
enjoy
it.
can. Try It on early. There is noth
and has resolved upon the novel ex
ing he will like so well If he is tic That is one of the greatest pleasures of periment of transferring a considerable
life.
Tlie
well-written
book
introduces
right kind of boss. If he is not. he Is
not the man for you to remain with. you to new friends, carries you into number of army oilleers to the naval
Leave him whenever you can, even at different scenes and haunts from what service. These are to be selected officers
a present sacrifice, and find one capa you are accustomed to, and it is an edu from the Japanese army. They will be
ble of discerning genius. Our young cation in itself. I know of a little club volunteers and must be specially rec
partners in Carnegie Bros, won their of young girls who aim to read every ommended by their commanding offi
spurs by showing that we did not thing in tlie way of the much talked of cers. They are to be appointed to the
know half as well what was wanted as
navy on probation for two years, at the
they did.—Carnegie's "Empire of Busi new books. The books seldom cost over expiration ot which they will be re
$1.50.
All
of
tlie
girls
have
to
support
ness.”
themselves, and one or two of them do quired to pass an examination in nau
The Little Flnirer.
tical and naval subjects, when, if suc
Adepts in palmistry assert that the not get over $30 a month. Tlie others cessful, they will be transefrred to the
get
between
$40
and
$50,
except
one,
length of the fourth or little linger Is
___
the most important sign In the hand. who receives what is to the others a navy.
There is no great man—no man who princely salary of $75 per month, but
Death in the Chair.
rises to importance in any line of life— she has to help support her family as
Doubt
is
often cast upon electrocution
without a long and straight little fin well as to assist in educating the young
as
a
system
by the fact that persons
ger.
er brothers and sisters, still they man
The tyjie of linger, whether spatu age to lay the small amount of 25 cents may survive an accidental shock of 2000
late, pointed or very nearly square,
volts. The Electrical World and En
causes the capacity to be directed Into away every month for their book fund. gineer points out that the conditions of
The
new
isiok
is
purchased
and
handed
very different channels. With the long
a chance contact are entirely different
spatulate little finger success In bust to each member of the club, who is ex from those provided in the chair. It
ness will result, while the long pointed pected to read it in a week’s time.
one denotes tact and the management When the last memlier has finished says: There can be no question that the
of people.
reading it they meet and have a little subject dies by theeffects of the electric
This Indeed is the finger of “whee literary evening all to themselves. Each shock and is dead beyond all hope of
dle.” The old saying, “To turn people one comes prepared with a written recovery before the autopsy takes place.
round your little finger," Is, like most criticism of her own in regard to the
The two oldest secret trade processes
old proverbs, the result of continued
and close observation and In the case merits of the bisik and also other criti now in existence are considered to be
of "the long pointed Mercury,” as Ben cisms from papers and magazines which the manufacture of Chinese red, or Ver
Jonson In The Alchemist calls the are read out and commented upon. million, and that method of inlaying
fourth finger, Is undoubtedly entirely This part of the evening, which they the hardest steel with gold and silver
true.
style tlie business jsirtion, Is followed which seems to have lieen practiced at
by refreshments, which consist of a cup Damascus years ago, and is known ouly
Had to Swallow Many Thing..
An amusing anecdote is related ot of tea and graham waiters, and while to the Syrian smiths and their pupils
the late Hungarian statesman Tisza, they enjoy the steaming and fragrant even to this day.
who when one day dining at the Hof- Deverage they discuss the ls>ok with all
burg with tlie Austrian emperor placed of its pros and cons. You will not 11 ml
Maiwatciin, on the borders of Russia,
a large pear upon Ills plate nt dessert. anyone lietter posted on the new books is the only city in the world peopled
The emperor remarked to his minis of the day than this little club of six by men only. Tlie Chinese women are
ter that cold fruit after a hot dinner girls, who are determined to keep up, if
not only forbidden to live in this terri
was injurious to the digestion.
possible, in modern literature. The tory, but even to pass the great walls of
Tisza replied, “Tlie stomach of n
Hungarian premier, your majesty, iw books are kept together, but the day Kelkan and enter into Mogolia. All of
will come when the members of the lit the Chinese of tills Isirder are exclu
obliged to be u strong one.”
tle club will be scattered here and sively traders.
HI n ClevernrNN.
The Lady—Jack, why don’t you write there. When that time comes each
a book or paint a picture or do some girl is to draw straws. For instance,
Do not neglect to keep your lioots
the book may lie “TheChristian.” The polished. You can always shine at one
thing clever?
The Gentleman—Because I selected u one getting the longest straw secures end, if you cannot at the other.
millionaire for a father, and 1 think the tssik, and so on until all the Ixsiks
that was clever enough to last a life have been disposed of, or they will be
Ihe s|s-etor of unpaid bills never
time.
divided evenly among the memliers. haunts those who buy only what they
In 184.3 gutta perclin trees were abun In that way there will lie no ill-feeling can afford.
dant on Singapore island and on the among the congenial six, but they will
Malay peninsula, but they have been have some of the brightest and ha)>-
The untutored mind views life from a
so thoroughly cleaned out that the bo piest pages of memory to look back low level.
tanical gardens at Singapore cannot upon, and they will tie centered in the
obtain plants. The destruction of gutta literary club of which they were mem-
Can a dark life send heavenward a
trees in Sumatra and Borneo has been
pure
soul ?
tiers.
widespread.
CHELSEA’S NOTED BUNS.
VALPARAISO AMUSEMENT.
AN INTERNATIONAL TOWN.
Sunday I n the (¡real Gala Day For
Rich and Poor Alike.
Peenllarltle* of Nogale«, oa tko Mex
ican Border Ligo.
All around the edge of Valparaiso
bay is a string of little towns so close
together that you canuot readily dis
cover where one leaves off and the
next begins. Tile most pretentious of
these is Vina del Mar, which is a very
popular seaside resort. During the
summer season, from December to
February. It Is a gay place. A short
distance from the town is the "cancha,”
or race track, in connection with which
are golf links, cricket and polo
grounds, all managed by the English
sporting clubs. The polo matches and
tlie races are over by the 1st of Decem
ber, but cricket, golf and tennis go on
all summer. Tennis tournaments are
held, lasting for several weeks. MoBt
of these sports, with the exception of
tennis, which goes on all the time,
take place on Sunday. Sunday is the
great gala day. when all the popula
tion, rich and poor alike, turn out to
have a gi od time.
The common people find their holi
day sport in getting gloriously drunk.
If you walk along the street on Sun
day afternoon, you must not be sur
prised to meet every few minutes In
dividuals decidedly unsteady on their
feet. The little wineshops do a rush
ing business, and there is always a
large crowd about the door watching
and loudly applauding the dancing of
the "cueca," which goes on all day.
This is a sort of national dance, per
formed to the accompaniment of the
guitar. The dance is quaint and rath
er pretty if the dancers are sober, but
in its ordinary environment it is far
from Inviting.
During a good season at Vina del
Mar one has an excellent opportunity
of seeing the aristocratic Chileans of
Santiago, in January Santiago is very
warm, nml tlie society people come
down to the coast during the hot
weather. The ladies are many of
them quite handsome. They all dress
gorgeously and have very bad man
ners. They stroll along the hotel piaz
za. and if they see anything that
arouses their curiosity in any of the
rooms they stop and look on serenely,
regardless of the occupant. They
never make their appearance until 10
or 11 o'clock In the morning, when
they go down to the beach for a morn
ing dip. After the 11 o’clock break
fast they disappear until 4 o’clock,
when they nil come out in gowns that
would rival Solomon in all his glory.
They either drive on the beach and
trail their skirts and embroidered chif
fons through tlie sand or stroll up and
down the long platform of the railroad
station, watching the trains pass.
These exciting diversions occupy them
until dinner. Sometimes there are
dances in the evening—dances called so
only by courtesy, for they rarely
dance; they only walk around and ex
hibit their gowns.—Indianapolis News.
It would be Incorrect to date a letter
from either Nogales, Aria., or Nogale«,
Mex., alone, for the town belongs so
thoroughly and completely to both
that neither half is a town at all. It
is the most completely and curiously
international place that can be conceiv
ed of. There is no separation of the
two parts visible as you look down on
the town from the hills, and the life
and the ordinary traffic of the place
flow back and forth with no one ap
parently to say them nay. However,
it must not be supposed that there is
fsee trade across the thoroughfare,
which on one side is called Internation
al street and on the other the Calle In
ternational.
In the middle of the street, where
the Calle Ellas, or main business
street, crosses the international ave
nue, stands a stone obelisk about
twelve feet high, and in the vicinity
of this are always one or two guards
in civilian dress, who pay no attention
to empty banded passersby, but will
stop any carriage or any person who
offers to cross with a burden that
might contain dutiable material. Oc
casionally on the Mexican side one
sees a Mexican soldier in uniform,
but the cuartel near by Is too small to
hold more than a small detachment,
and neither soldiers nor uniformed cus
toms guards are ever In evidence along
the border.
The Americans live apart from one
another In Individual bouses of all
grades, most of which are very neat
and some of which are quite fine and
must have been costly. Their streets
run up the sides of the mountain glen
in which the town is situated. In
among their bouses are the adobe cab
ins of the Mexicans, who are their
hewers of wood and drawers of wa
ter (these terms being literally correct
here, for the fuel of the country is
knotted and gnarled wood, brought
from the bills on donkeys’ backs, and
the town water won’t run up to the
higher elevations).
All Lundou *aed to VI*ltJ.Mr*. Hands
ot* Good Friday.
However religious observances may
change in England, the eating of hot
cross bulls on Good Friday Is not likely
to die out. Still, enthusiasm in this
particular has considerably declined
since the days when Mrs. Hands kept
the Chelseu Bun House at the corner
of Jews' row, now Pimlico road. So
many people were in the liabit of flock
ing there on Good Friday in order to
eat hot cross buns that on one occasion
50.000 persons assembled there, and
£250 was taken in tlie day for buns
alone. After this the inhabitants ot
Chelsea protested against the noise and
disturbance this caused, and Mrs
Hands, feurlng to be restrained by the
law, issued in 17113 a quaint proclama
tion, stating how, “desirous, therefore,
of testifying her regard and obedience
to those laws by which she is happily
protected, she is determined, though
much to her loss, not to sell cross buns
on that day to any person whatever,
but Chelsea buns as usual.”
This Mrs. Hands was something of a
character in her own way. The royal
family and many of the aristocracy
used to visit her in the morning, and
Queen Charlotte even presented her
witli a silver lialf gallon mug contain
ing 5 guineas. The house remained in
tlie possession of her family for some
time, as Sir Richard Phillips, writing a
few years before its destruction, men
tions. After admitting that for upward
of thirty years he had never passed tlie
house without filling his pockets, lie
goes on to say, “These buns have af
forded a competency and even wealth
to four generations of the same family,
and it is singular that their delicate
flavor, lightness and richness have nev
er been successfully imitated.” When
Kanelagli was closed, tlie Bun House
declined In popularity, though as late
as 1839 24,000 buns were sold on Good
Friday alone.—London Chronicle.
POWERFUL VOICES.
Some lIlNiorlc SlirlekerN Who Ante-
datrd the Fa mo on Stentor.
The question has often been asked,
“Who was the most loud voiced man
of history?” The answer usually is
that it was Steutor, of whom Homer
says his voice was as loud as that of
fifty other ntea combined and from
which we get lie phrase “stentorian
voiced.” But we have record of two
historic “shrlekers” anterior to Homer.
We read where Simeon and Levi fought
against the twelve men of the city of
Sarton and that Levi beheaded one
man with Ills own sword. In chapter
38, verse 41. of tlie book referred to the
story Is related in the following words:
“And the sons of Jacob seeing Unit
they could not prevail over the twelve,
Simeon gave a loud nml tremendous
shriek, and tlie eleven remaining men
were stunned by the awful shriek.”
In chapter 39. same book, verse 19,
we find the following account of tlie
battles of the sons of Jacob witli the
inhabitants of the city of Gaash. It
seems as though the battle was both in
the front and in the rear and that the
warriors on the wall were throwing
spears and hurling stones upon the
sons of Jacob. Wliat next occurred, as
related in chapter and verse above
cited. Is recorded in these words:
“And Judah, seeing that the men of
Gaash were getting too heavy for
them, gave a piercing and tremendous
shriek, and all the men of Gaash were
terrified at Judah's cry, and men fell
from the wall at the sound of his pow
erful shriek, and all those that were
without as well as those within the
city were greatly afraid of their lives.”
Dragstorr* Old and New.
An Old Smallpox Cure,
Among Kussian towns wnose popuin
lions have most rapidly Increased the
Bolish center of Lodz Is conspicuously
the first. Fifteen years ago the so
called Russian Manchester was a place
of some 25.000 Inhabitants. It now con
tains an industrial population of 315,-
000 souls.
The Lohdon Chronicle cnsually drops
the bit of Information that the people
of Missouri are called Pikes, "after
their great peak.” Thus Is American
history made In the English papers.
Water thrown upon ice In the arctic
regions will shiver It Just as boiling
water breaks glass. Thia is because
the lee Is so much colder than the wa
ter.
A Sacred Chinese Coin.
One of the coins of the Chinese Em
peror Kanghl is very much sought aft
er by the Chinese, who use it in mak
ing rings for tlie finger. It is slightly
different from tlie oilier cash issued
under the same emperor in the form of
one of the characters that indicate the
regnal period. The Chinese call it “Lo
bau cash,” the word Lo-han being a
transcript in Chinese character« of tlie
Sanskrit word Arhan, “venerable,”
the name applied to tlie eighteen at
tendants of Buddha, who are frequent
ly seen ranged aloug the two sides of
tlie principal halls in Buddhist tem
ples.
«
The tradition is that while the em
peror was intimately associated with
European missionaries he became im
bued witli a feeling of contempt for
Buddhism and illustrated this phase
of his faith by having a set of eighteen
brass Lo-ban images melted down and
cast into cash. This brass is said to
OLD FASHIONED.
contain a considerable portion of gold;
What has become of the old fash hence the demand for the cash.
ioned child that “made faces?”
Had to Diet.
What has become of the old fashion Doctors She
sometimes
give their direc
ed man who hung his lodge sword in a
tions for taking drugs or other treat
conspicuous place?
ment in language beyond tlie compre
What has become of the old fashion hension of tlie patient. Occasionally
ed man who said a handy, industrious tragic, but more often amusing, mis
man was “full handed?”
takes occur thereby. Judge tells one
What has become of the old fashion of the amusing kind, although it might
ed man who wanted to put bis enemies have been uncomfortable at least.
where the dogs wouldn’t bite them?
A small colored girl went to a drug
What has become of the old fashion store and said to the clerk. “Ma mam
ed father who took a whip and held my wants some of de handsomest dye
heart to heart talks with bls son out In ye got.”
the barn?
“The handsomest?” repeated the
What has become of the old fashion clerk. "Well. I don’t know. What
ed woman who gave her children pota does she want it for?"
toes to make animals with, using tooth “She done got de misery In her stum
picks to make the legs?
mick. and de doctor say she must dye
What has become of the old fashion it, and she say If she hah got ter dye
ed woman who didn’t think It proper to It she want it a handsome color.”
appear on the streets with her husband
unless she had bold of bls arm?—Atchi
The Force of Example.
son Globe.
. When we read tlie life stories of men
and women, we ourselves participate
Jeleraa* a* a* Inventor.
to some extent in their own experi
Not many people know that Thomas ences. Insensibly we place ourselves
Jefferson was a great Inventor. His in in the situations In which they found
ventions were all of articles of every then;selv&. and the problems which
day use. He devised a three legged confronted them seek their solution In
folding ¿amp stool that is the basis of our own brains. Their difficulties. their
all camp stools of that kind today. The stumblings, their triumphs, become
stool he bad made for bis own use was personal lessons by which we may
his constant companion on occasions of get a wider experience of life than
outings. The revolving chair was bis crimes to us In our ordinary avoca
Invention. He designed a light wagon. tions, so that when the time comes
A copying press was devised by him when we are called upon for some mo
and came into general use. He also in mentous decision or to pursue some
vented an instrument for measuring special line of conduct we have a prec
the distance he walked. A plow and a edent to guide us to the right course.—
hemp cultivator showed that bls Scottish-American.
thoughts were often on agricultural
matters. His plow received a gold med
How a Spaniard Smoke*.
al In France In 1790. Jefferson never
The Spaniards are the most expert
benefited financially by his inventions, smokers In the world. A Spaniard, ac
but believed they should be for the use cording to an observer who has trav
of every one without cost—St. Louis eled through Spain and South America,
Post-Dispatch.
takes a heavy pull at bis cigarette, in
hales It, takes up a wine skin or wine
He Qgve HI* Address.
bottle, pours a half pint down bls
Harry Furniss told a good story of a throat, holding the vessel a foot from
distinguished but Irritable Scotch lec I i I b mouth and not spilling a drop, and
turer. The gentleman bad occasion to then with a sigli of satisfaction closes
speak in a small town In one of the his eyes and exhales the smoke from
lowland counties, and It chanced that his nose and mouth in clouds. He will
he met with a more than usually loqua also inhale the smoke, converse for a
cious chairman. This genius actually few minutes in a natural manner and
spoke for a whole hour In “introduc then blow out the smoke.
ing” the lecturer. He wound up by
Dola* a* He Wa* Told.
saying, “It la unnecessary for me to
say more, but call upon the talented
“What on urth,” said a gentleman to
gentleman who has come so far to give his son, “are you doing up there, John
ny, sitting on the horse’s back, when
us his address tonight”
The lecturer came forward. “You you ought to be at school?”
“Teacher said 1 was to write a com
want my address? I’ll give It to you;
322 Rob Roy Crescent Edinburgh, and position on a horse,” said the boy, "and
I’m Just off there now. Good night!”— I’m trying t.», but it’n awful dlf'cult,
'cos he will keep moving so. 1 s’pose
Woman’s Home Companion.
that's why teacher gave it to us to do,
ain’t It?”
Hew Wheat C«a« to Earth.
A classic account of the distribution
One Wife'* Caution* Claim.
of wheat over the primeval world
"Is your w ife one of those women
shows that Ceres, having taught her
favorite, Trlptolemus, the art of agri who look at their husbands and say, *1
culture and the science of breadmak made a man of him?’” asked the im
ing, gave him her chariot a celestial pertinent friend.
“No,” dnswered Mr. Meekton. “Hen-
vehicle, and that In it be traveled night
and day. distributing this valuable riettta is very unassuming. She mere
bread grain among all nations of the ly says she bus done her best.”—Wash
ington Star.
earth.
Sometimes it seems as if drugstores
have everything except drugs. The
middle aged man or woman remembers
when tlie apothecary shop bad a dis
tinctive smell of drugs and chemicals.
Nothing was in sight but jars of won-
drously colored liquids and powders,
crystals and sticks and drawers of cu
rious things with Latin labels. The
only tiling that was at all attractive
for tlie women was the case of fancy
soaps and perfumes, with face powders
and cosmetics, and for the men the case
of cigars. The soda fountain made the
first Innovation. It was no such preten
tious affair as now dominates the cor
ner drugstore, however. It stood mod
estly on one end of the counter. There
were five or six kinds of sirups and no
ice cream or hot drinks. Later candy
Tlie ('unary 1« a Little Pig.
found a place in the apothecary's, then
The canary is always regarded as a came stationery, and now there are all
small eater. Just as the pig is notorious sorts of bric-a-brac.—New York I’rqss.
for its gluttony. People witli small ap
petites are often twitted for not eating
“Tlie Great Unknown.”
more than enough to feed a canary,
For tliirteeu years the author of
and this led a man who was a tiny eat “Waverley” was unknown. Indeed the
er to watch the yellow bird and report. country spoke of him as “the great un
He found that a canary that weighed known,” a pseudonym Sir Walter
247 grains ate Just thirty-two times its Scott often employed in writing. But
own weight in a month; that is, it ate on Feb. 23, 1827, Sir Walter gave a din
rather more than its own weight on an ner party to which, among others. Lord
average every day. Anyone who watch Meadowbank, thq Judicial magnate,
es tlie little bird will notice that it is al who chanced to know his host’s secret,
ways eating. Now, says tlie investiga was invited. Then when the toasts
tor, a pig doesn’t eat its own weight ev were being drunk Meadowbank, with
ery day, glutton as it is. Hence he Scott’s permission, got up and proposed
thinks that the canary deserves to be the health of “tlie great unknown, Sir
classed as a little pig.—London An Walter Scott.” The effect was magical,
ewers.
and tlie news spread through the coun
try like wildfire. Indeed that dinner
Ran Without Lev«*
and the secret it disclosed was the
A certain congressman has a smart most talked of event of the year.
granddaughter, whose clever sayings
are the delight of her parents. The oth
The Heat She Coaid Do.
er day she came to her grandfather “There is only one reason,” he said,
with her face al) smiles.
“why I have never asked you to be my
“Grandpa.” she said, ”1 saw some wife.”
thing this morning running across the
“Wliat is that?” she asked.
kitchen floor without any legs. What
"1 have always been half afraid you i
do think it was?"
might refuse.”
Mr. Congressman studied for awhile
“Well," she whispered after a long
and gave up “Wliat was it?" he asked silence, “1 should think you'd have
“Water,” said the youngster trluui curiosity enough to want to find out
phantly -St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
whether your suspicion was well
founded or not.”—Chicago Record-Her
Proceeding With Caution.
ald.
••Are you sure that your arguments
are calculated to impress people with
Nothing Cheap There.
your punctilious principles?”
Mr. Noorlch (instructing architect)—
"I don’t want to Impress 'em too I don't want to spare no expense. 1
strongly with my punctiliousness," an want a palace an’ nothin' less. Have
swered Senator Sorghum. “If any two staircases, one to go hup an’ the
Hard oa His Brethrea.
body is willing to sell out, I don’t want other to go down, an’ have the coal
“Oh, well, my dear,” observed be to
him to feel scared about making a hole frescoed. I’m agoin’ to show peo
bls wife, “you will And that there are
proposition."—Washington Star.
pie there’s nothin’ cheap about me.— a great many worse men In the world
Tit-Bits.
than 1 am.”
Jo.t n Way Slie Had.
“How can you be so cynical, John?"
To Heaven by Installment*.
Softleigb-That howid Miss Giggles
replied bi« wife reproachfully.—Syra
Willie
—
Your
papa's
got
only
one
arm,
weally laughed at me lawst evening,
cuse Herald.
has be?
doneber know.
Miss Cutting—Oh, well, you shouldn't Robbie—Yetb.
A Liberal Edncntton.
Willie—Where’s the other one?
notice. She often laughs at nothlng.-
Wlseum
—Honestly, now, did you
Robbie
—
1th
up
in
heaven.
—
New
York
Chicago News.
learn anything while you were in col
Times.
lege?
Walls have enrs, and the paper hang
Graduate—(Jm-m—well, I learned
Right is more beautiful than private
er doesn’t cover them either.-Phllndi I affection and Is compatible with uni how to state my Ignorance In scientific
pbia Bulletin.
terms
versnl wisdom.—Emerson.
The following primitive “cure” foi
smallpox has been discovered by the
Leytonstone (England) Guardians in
one of their registers for the year 1700:
“Take thirty to forty live toads and
burn them to cinders In a new pot;
then crush Into a fine black powder.
Dose for smallpox, three ounces."
He Wa* a Financier.
Two members of the Chicago Stock
Exchange went to a restaurant for
luncheon, and after a hasty glance at
the bill of fare each announced whut
be wanted.
“I'm for a fried bass.” said one.
“Ditto,” said the other. “Waitress,
two fried bass, please."
In a few minutes the two bass <>u a
platter and two plates were placed on
the table. One bass was larger than
the other, and the financier before
iwliom the platter had been placed
palrnly passed the smaller bass to his
companion.
"Now I call that a downright mean
trick!" said the man who received the
smaller bass.
“What is a mean trick?”
“Why, to give tne the smaller bass
and keep the big one for yourself.”
"What would you have done if you
bad been serving the fish?”
“I should certainly have given you
the larger one.”
"Well, in that case I should have iiad
the larger one. I’ve got it now. Wliat
more do you want?”
The argument did not seem convinc
ing, but at tlie moment the other man
was unable to find a satisfactory an
swer to it.—Chicago Chronicle.
Too Mach For Papa.
“Papa, do you know how to reach a
conclusion ?”
"Certainly. Do you?”
“Easy. Just take a train.”
“What are you talking about?”
"A train of thought.”
“Go to bed.’’—New York Herald.
Wot Enough “Move Up There.”
Manager—I’m afraid that new con
ductor will not be a success.
Superintendent—Why?
Manager—He treats the passengers
with too much consideration.—Town
■ nd Country.
A curious custom prevail« in Korea
Helping a Fellow Out.
If a man meets his wife In the street,
He (who stutters badly)-1 lul-htl
he ignores her presence and passes her
love you mum-mum—I lul-love you
as if she were a stranger.
mum-mum-more than tut-tut tongue
When you And yourself bating a man can tut-tut—more than tut tut tongue
as much after a meal as you did be can tut-tut—
She (eagerly)— Don't you know the
fore, it la time to call a halt—Atchison
deaf and dumb alphabet?
Globe.
______________
Collector—I left a bill here yesterday
Were I to apeak my whole mln<l I
for some shirts your husband got. Did
•hould dare to say that men are made
he look It over?
Lady of the House—No; be overlook for laughter and women for tear«.-I.a
Clavlere, "The Art of Life.”
ed It