BÀNDON RECORDER. Wheu (he Wurm Turned. In a little town there dwells a man of exeeeillugly shiftless disposition, and recently he got his “come-up-ance.” His wile had borne with his shiftless­ ness for some years. Sometimes she scolded him sharply, but it had no ef feet. So long as he could shuttle down to the tillage store and gossip with other ne’er do wells in the town lie did not care for a sharp tongue. lie never worked, and the wife sup­ ported her busband and did the house­ work, cooking good meals for bls lazi­ ness to greedily devour, tine day he had a chance to work and did not take it. His wife heard about It and gave him a piece of her mind, but he receiv­ ed It as stolidly as ever. He went down to the store that morning, as usual, as placid and as self satisfied as ever. When he returned at noon, a strange sight greeted bls eyes. The house was empty, bare ns Mother Hubbard's cup­ board. He went Into the bedrooms. Bedsteads, bureaus, all the furniture, the curtains, everything had l>een re­ moved. It was the same bareness down stairs. He crept into the kitchen, boil­ ing that there at least he might ibid something comfortable. Here, too, emp­ tiness greeted him. but directly in the center of the floor was a little white mug, and on it in gilt letters were-the words, ‘•Think of me.” POLLY LARKIN J lang syne always brings tears to his eyes.” Here is another instance that was given to Polly the other day on the subject of doing one’s best and being faithful in small things. Recently a young man applied for work in one of the big lumbering camps in one of our northern counties. He was told when his services were accepted that when work was slack he might be laid off', as he was one of the last men employed. However, he was in need of the work, and in spite of the warning that he might soon be laid off', he was hard up and his family really in need of the common necessaries of life, he accepted it He worked with a will, was kind- hearted and ever ready to do a favor for the others, and was one of the most cheerful and light-hearted men in the camp. He would have been a favorite had he not been so conscientious in his work, preferring to do more than was required of him rather than fah short in his duties. He had been there alxiut six weeks when the work became slack and they hail to lay off' a number of the men, but to his great surprise and the disgust of the others, be was retained, although he was the last man taken on. Loud were the complaints, and Anally one of the discharged men who had been in the employ of the company for several months demanded the reason for being laid off' and the last mull to come on the force should be retained. “It is easily explained,” said the foreman. “1 found this young man was hauling five loads to your four every day in the week. He was always pleasant alxiut it and tried in every way to do his duty. He was invariably the last man to quit at noon and at night and the Arst to rejiort in the morning. You see the company had to work for their own interests and could not let sentiment interfere with t Heir best judg­ ment.” WHY NOSES POINT EAST. KNITTING IN PARLIAMENT. Not So Mun> Year. Also M-n Did th. Knit 11 tilt For Scotland. Quite a thrill of surprise was caused by a Scottish member of parliament who was recently observed calmly knitting a stocking while waiting tn the smoking room of the bouse of com­ mons. At the present day the sight of a man plying the knitting needles is a novel one. though in the remoter parts St Scotland It Is not at all uncommon. Less than half a century ago. how­ ever, the greater part of the stockings worn were knitted by the men folk, the women confining their attention more or less to spinning. The shepherd starting out at the break of day to his duties on the hill would as soon have forgotten bis lunch of oaten cakes and barley bannocks as bis knitting needles and wool. As he trudged through the heather on his visit to each part of his wide scatter­ ed flock or directed from a conven­ ient height tlie rounding up efforts of his faithful collie bis tireless lingers plied their task. Even the well to do farmer as he chatted with a friend of markets and “nowt” (cattle) could ill bear to see the minutes wasted, and the “click, click” of his needles bore witness to bis diligence. Such industry seems strange to the present day mind, but what else had they to occupy their minds and time? Newspapers, as we know them now. there were absolutely none. Once a week or less frequently a small local sheet would circulate among the well to do homes. As for books, these were often lim­ ited to the Bible and “The Pilgrim’s Progress.” of games there were but few. and for the most part these were not encouraged.—Home Chat. THE KING SNAKE. THE GOLDEN POPPY. bat He I. the Deadly Enemy ot Every Fol.onon. Reptile. Da.allna, Hla.lua Hlo..oma Thai Grevled the Calitornla Pioneer.. Very few people's noses are set prop- perly upon their faces. Any observant person who will go along the street and take notice of the nasal organs of the passerby may easily convince himself on the subject. Not one Individual in a hundred, whether man or woman, Is above criticism as to the arrangement of his or her nose. One might tliiuk that nature is a lit­ tle careless about this matter. When the nose turns off at an angle instead of assuming its Just and proper atti­ tude, it tends, at all events in extreme cases, to give a disordered effect to the features as a whole, but if nature real­ ly does not care which way a nose points there ought to be as many noses turned one way as are turned the oth­ er. But is this the case? Not a bit of it. As you walk down the street look at tlie people as they go by, and you will discover that the noses of ninety-nine out of every hundred turn to the right. When once you have begun to notice this fact, it will constantly attract your attention. In truth, the objec­ tion to starting in upon a study of this kind is that you cannot get away from It afterward. It haunts you steadily and persistently. Whenever you meet a friend you look at Ills nose to make sure whether It turns to the right or not. Now, the phenomenon being as de­ scribed. wlint 1 b the reason behind it? Wliy should nearly everybody’s nose turn to the right rather than to the left? There seems to be only one way to account for It, and that is that al­ most everybody is right handed and lues ills handkerchief correspondingly; so from Infancy to old age the nose in the process of being blown and wiped is persistently tweaked to the right; hence as the infant passes through childhood and later youth—when the nasal organ Is flexible and in process of formation, so to speak—it is obliged gradually lint surely to assume sn in­ clination eastward. If this theory be correct, the noses ot left handed persons ought to turn cus­ tomarily to til«' left. Such, In fact, ap­ pears to be the case, but data on this interesting branch of the question are not sufficiently complete to afford a final conclusion. — Saturday Evening Post. Of al! kind provisions of nature per­ haps tbe manner in which snakes are brought Into tbe world is the most re markable. As a rule all harmless snakes are batched from eggs, arriv­ ing In batches of from thirty to eighty. Tbe poisonous snakes, ou the other hand, are born lu litters of from seven to eleven in number. There are ex­ ceptions to tbe rule, of course, but they are few and unimportant, for, though tlie deadly king cobra lays her eggs to be hutched by the sun, they are few in number, unlike tbe colonies deposited by the harmless snakes. Chief among the enemies of the snukes are tbe reptiles themselves. Cannibalism is general among tbe crea­ tures. tlie smaller snake serving as food to the larger one. But chief of al) snakes that bunt their own kind for the pleasure of slaughter Is the long, slender king snake, a constrictor by habit and a flash in his movements. Among all reptiles tbe king snake alone may truly be said to be the friend of man. He is found through­ out the whole south, where the rattler and moccasin abound, sunning himself and preying for slaughter. Picked up by human hand, the reptile seems pleased with the touch. He makes no effort to escape, but twines about his captor's arm and makes himself comfortable. To the rattlesnake and to every otb er dangerous snake, large or small, the king snake Is a terror. The poison of a rattler has no more effect on him than so much moonshine. Instinctive­ ly the rattler knows his match and at sight of a king snake tries to escape, if possible. In tight the king snake re­ lies wholly upon his incredible speed. If the movements of an ordinary snake seem quick to the human eye. the movements'of a k'ng snake would seem Instilntaneous. tn a twinkle the long, lank fellow has wound himself about the throat of an antagonist and, his sinewy colls closing about the oth er’s throat, chokes the wind out of him.—New York Times. Far out at sea gleaming sheets of dazzling gold arrested tbe gaze of the early explorers of California. Blazing along the Pacific coast, embroidering the green foothills of tbe snow capped Sierra Madras, transforming acres and acres of treeless plains into royal cloth of gold, millions of flowers of silky tex ture and color of gold fascinated tbe Spanish discoverers. An eminent hot anist. Eschseholtz, at once classified the plant, and his followers conferred his mime upon this the only native Amerlcau pnpaver. Dreumllke In beauty, fascinating from sheer loveliness, spreading in soft un­ dulations over tbe land, the California poppy bloomed above the richest views and arteries of gold the world has ever known, all unsuspected. A Circe, with powers to please, dazzle and cliariu by Its enchantments, while it allures, lulls and mystifies, this flower of sleep seem­ ed to draw by some occult process from the eartli the elixir of gold, unfolding Its blooms of gold as beacons proclaim­ ing, “We are blooming above rich mines of gold.” There Is ever a mystery about the poppy. It Is a weird flower. It is al­ most sentient, with a life unknown to human kind. “While glory guards with solemn tread the bivouac of the dead” stealthily a sea ofgore creeps over the old battlefields. Blood red. the popples In waves and billows bold high carni­ val above the soil that covers the slain. I.ord Macaulay says of the battlefield of Neerwlnden: “The summer after the battle tbe sell, fertilized by 20,000 dead, broke fortli Into millions of blood red popples. The traveler from St. Troud to Tlrlemont who saw that vast field of rich scarlet stretching from Landen to Neerwlnden could hardly help fan­ cying that tlie figurative description ot the Hebrew prophet was literally ac­ complished: that “the earth was dis­ closing her blood and refusing to cover her slain.” Bayard Taylor in “Tlie Lands of tbe Saracen” says he content, plated witli feelings he could uot de­ scribe “the old battlefields of Syria, densely covered with blood red pop­ ples. blooming In barbaric splendor, gloating on the gore of soldiers slain.' However Interesting the poppy uiay be to men of science and to lovers ot the beautiful, It is yet more so to me people of California. Tins beautiful, weird, gold colored flower of gossan et texture belongs to California aloue. Nowhere else In the world has it evet made its habitat. There it is naturally so profuse that it is related as a fact that, coming on a turn full face upon a blooming field of yellow poppies, daz­ zling in tlie sunshine, horses have beeu put to flight as from flames of tire.— Home and Flowers. A Theory Which 1« i*laa«ible. Itatber HIdiculoun. “What wan the key to your success in life?’’asked a young man of a suc­ cessful businessman recently. “Work­ ing for my employer as though 1 was working for myself,” was the p ompt reply. “You see,” he continued, “I didn’t have much of a chance when I was a boy; no schooling to speak of, for my father was a farmer and always had bad luck. Born under an unlucky star, 1 suppose, for be was energetic and hopeful to a degree that was pitiful. Year after year crojis failed or there was a drougth. Finally he went to town one day and came back with papers for my mother to sign. It was a mortgage on the old home. That was the first time 1 had ever seen his face shadowed by doubts, fear and sorrow. He and my mother went Into the house to­ gether, and when hecameout from the quiet little interview he looked as if he had been through a spell of sickness and almost ten years older. I could see my mother had been crying. They had fought against that mortgage for years, but the blow had finally fallen. Things went from bad to worse. I had to leave behind to take a man's place on the old farm. There was another heart­ Wl>>- Americans Think Quicker. The American people can think ache for my parents, for they had quicker and more to the point than any counted on giving me at least a com­ other people in the world. This state­ mon school education. Then the old ment was made recently In a New house that had sheltered us since my York newspaper, but the reason given earliest recollections—in fact, my father was wide of the mark. The American people read in the aggregate ten times brought my mother home there as a more than any other people. The Amer­ bride—burned down and all our house­ ican boy gets his inspiration. Ills ener­ hold effects with it. We had to make A WAV OF ESCAPE. getic disisisition, his ambition, his our escape in our night clothes. There keen snapshot Judgment and his quick wasn’t a dime of insuranceon the house Jnkewav, the Widow Barotow and wit largely from his rending and very or contents. That was the last straw. the Preacher*. Test. largely from bls newspaper reading. My mother died and my father lost all “Talking about widows,” said the I The poise and culture and refinement ambition. His heart was broken when man witli the stogy, "did 1 ever tell and solidity come Inter In life from you about Jakeway and the Widow my mother died. The little star of | the reading of books and magazines Barstow?” BRIEF REVIEW. and from contact with men and things. hope that had floated just before him Now. there hadn't been a word said It is the American newspaper which all his life vanished, and he became about widows, but one of the unity re­ sets the initial pace. Push and pluck despondent and morose. We had not Sure Death in Bamboo Hairs. plied. "No. sir; you never did.” I are contagious, and more germs are even been able to keep up the interest The young Bhoots of the bamboo are "Well.” said the man with the stogy, Iqitclied In the average American on the place, and when the time came covered with a number of very fine "Jakeway was a character, one of those Newspaper office than anywhere else.— that the mortgage had eaten up the hairs that are seen, under the micro­ you read about. He'd lived aloue for Booklovers' Bulletin. home we stepped down and out. scope, to be hollow and spiked like a years. When he wan a young man, he had been disappointed in love or some­ « « « « bayonet. The Detroit Free Press, in an thing. and from that time he'd been I n imprcNNcd. FI.OWER AND TREE. “What kind of ducks are these?” ask­ “Aly father had to go to work on a article about the strange use they are sour a reg’lar woman hater—and the ed the visitor in tile ornithological de farm as a common lalorer. His pride put to, says: These hairs are commonly particular object of his dislike was the Altheas show their Rose of Sharon pnrtment at the museum. was humbled to the dust, for he had called bamboo poison by the white men Widow Barstow, aggressive from hei flowers in August and September. "Labrador,” said the attendant. "We in setting out a tree the previous resident in Java, for the reasou that bead to her heels. The very sight ot paid $1,000 for those two specimens.” started out with such brilliant pros­ murder is very frequently committed her to old Jakeway was like the wav­ season's growth should be shortened pects in his young manhood, and now “Gosh!” exclaimed the visitor, turn one-third to three-fourths, according to ing of a red flag to a bull. Ing to his wife. "He says they paid when his hair wassilvered hyoid Father through their agency. When a Java­ ‘•They useter go to the same church, the roots. nese woman takes a fancy to a Euro ­ $1,000 for 'em. I've bought finer ducks Time he must surrender the work of but tlie ushers knew the situation well The golden coreopsis and the -feath­ for half n dollar many a time. What his life his home—to strangers and pean, according to an official Dutch enough to ^ut a goodly portion of the ery slmots of the garden asparagus have you got 'em in that gluss case work as a hired man for someone else. report, she will either have him or poi­ sanctuary between them. Unfortunate­ make a beautiful mid artistic combina­ for?" he Inquired, addressing the Failure was written on his life’s work. son him if she gets the chance. She ly on one Sunday there was a new tion in a simple vase. guide again. You have no idea, unless you knew my seeks any and every opportunity of usher. The opening service was well Watercress is good when the leaves “Because they are about the most father,how humiliatingthat was. Night mixing these infinitesimal hairs among under way, nnd Jakeway was in a pew are large. Tlie size of the leaves indi­ notable exhibit we have. Those birds by himself well down toward the front, were shot in 1851!. Labrador ducks are after night I buried my face in my pil­ his food, and they serve the purpose of win'» down the aisle came the new cates the amount of tissue—strengthen­ irritating the whole length of the ali ­ ing chlorophyll—in them. low ami gave vent to my feelings in a now extinct." usher with the widow tailing along in "He says,” exclaimed tlie visitor, storm of tears as 1 thought of him, mentary canal and setting up malig­ his wake, and he handed her into Jake­ Tlie safest rule In pruning is to keep watch on tlie young trees and cut out turning to his wife once* more, “they gray-headed and alone out on the lone­ nant dysentary. It may take a long way's pew. any branch that seems to need removal put 'em in that glass case because they ly farm working as common hired Help, time and many doses of this so-called “Tlie old man gave oue look as the haven't a pleasant odor. And I don't everything congenial swept out of his poison to effect the purpose, but the na­ figure rustled in; then he gathered up while ft Is yet small enough to yield wonder at it. They were Bhot in 1850.” life, and I was helpless, working for a tive woman does not tire and death will his umbrella, his hat, bls bandana and to the knife. Trees that grow large tops, such ns —Chicago Tribune. pittance in a big commission house and surely result. The male native will also his prayer book and cleared the back elms, silver maples, Undens, etc.. among strangers. How I longed to try this method of revenge for an af­ of tlie pew in front with the agility of should be planted forty-five feet apart 1'«%'«» StrotiK Renaonn. a boy, and just as he landed on the in order to allow each tree room for A certain Scotch minister in a west make r trifles in my position that would front. front seat tlie preacher gave out bis expansion nnd prevent too much highland parish has never yet been warrant me in bringing my old gray­ text: The Costliest City in The World. shade. known to permit a stranger to occupy haired father to the city and make a “ 'There hath no evil befallen you his pulpit. Lately, however, an Edin­ home for him in his old age. That was Only one public official in the United such Plnnts of sweet william must be pur­ as is common to man but God burgh divinity student was spending a always before me as I worked. States handles more money than the will with tlie temptation also make a chased for n new garden, as those few days in the parish, and on the Sat­ Controller of New York city, and that way of escape.’ ” New York Mall and grown from seed sown in the spring »»»» urday he called at the tnansc and asked will not blossom until the spring fol­ official is the Secretary of the Treasury. Express. “1 remembered, too, the last conver­ the minister to be allowed to preach lowing. Once started, however, they The government of ( greuter New York sation 1 had with my fatheron the eve the following day. will continue year after year. The Table Napkin. costs more every year than the com ­ "My dear young man,” said the min­ of my departure for the city, and his Curiously enough, that article now ister, laying a hand gently on the timely advice I am going to give you: bined expenses of the government of considered almost indispensable, the Black Sen Pccnllarltle.. young man’s shoulder, “gin I lat ye ‘Work as though you were working for half a dozen states. From the year’s table napkin, was first used only by The Black sea differs in a most re­ preach the morn and ye gie a better yourself, my boy. Make every lick beginning to the end the Controller of children and was adopted by elder markable manner from other seas and sermon than me my fowk wad never count. Don’t shirk, but whatever comes the metropolis receives and distributes members of the family about the mid­ oceans. A surface current flows con­ agnin be satisfied wi’ my preaching, about 1100,000,000—more than half a bil­ dle of the fifteenth century. In eti­ tinuously from the Black sea into the and gin ye're nae a better preacher to hand grasp it, not gingerly, but with lion—dollars. Half of this is paid into quette books of an earlier date than Mediterranean and an under current than me ye're no' worth listening tae.” all your might. Go about it, if it is a the treasuary through taxes and other tills among other sage pieces of advice from the Mediterranean into the Black distasteful part of the work, as you for children are instructions about wip­ sea. The latter current is salt, and, be­ Giant llnnallan Eel.. would if you had to deal with nettles. sources of revenue, and half is paid out ing their Angers and 'ips with their ing heavier than the fresh water above, There are three well known varieties You cannot touch them with a delicate, in the running expenses of the city, a it remains stagnant at the bottom. Be­ ins. of eel found in Hawaiian waters. The shrinking hand, but you must grab large part of which is expended in sala­ mt It pk seems that the tablecloth was long ing saturated with sulphuretted hydro­ largest is the big gray fellow, which so them with a strong grasp if you are to ries and wages of city officers and em­ enough to reach the floor and served gen. this water will not maintain life, closely resembles his cousin, the con handle them at all. Make quick and ployes; for there are 40,000 persons on the grown people iu place of napkins. nnd so tlie Black sea contains no living ger. He is voracious and fearless, and the city’s pay roll—persons enough to When they did begin to use napkins, inhabitants below the depth of about the natives tackle him with caution, for sure work of them. It is just so when make a very good-sized city in them­ they placed them first on the shoulder, 100 fathoms. The deeper water when when cornered he tights viciously and you have anything that is disagreeable then on the left arm and finally tied brought to the surface smells exactly can tnni< t a nasty wound with his in your work. Make quick and effec­ selves. like rotten eggs. them about the neck. powerful jaws, which bristle with nee­ tive work out of it that will count. It Ice Water Fountains. dlelike teeth. is the only way to succeed, my boy. Han Been. A Famous Compliment. The other species are fat, flabby look­ You won’t And life’s pathway strewn The Woman’s Municipal League of An Englishman went into a restau­ Of famous compliments paid to the ing customers, with fantastic markings with flowers, but it is tilled with thorns New Y'ork city has arranged for the rant in n New England town and was of black and brown and many shades and a very rocky roadway. You must erection of free ice water fountains in fair sex the supply is so large and daz­ served for his flrst course with a deli­ zling that it Is a matter of no small of gray. On an eel of this sort the skin tlie tenement house district the coming cacy unknown to him, so he asked the appears to hang loose from the body, tight it out inch by inch, and above all summer. At present only t wenty one difficulty to pick out the brightest waiter what it was, and tbe waiter re­ getns, but If the following was un ­ and when disturbed the head sweels things do your best even in small mat­ plied: like a puff adder's. These eels seldom ters. In that way you will not only ice water fountains supply the tene­ looked for it certainly deserves a place “It's bean soup, sir." whereupon the among the best: Fontenelle when nine ments where there is a population of 2,- gain the respect of your employers, but attain a greater length than three feet Englishman in high indignation re­ ty years old passed before Mme. Hel ­ 300,000. Those that the committee pro ­ and love to locate In the crevices of a you have laid the stepping-stone to suc­ sponded: poses to put up will be after the idea of vétius without perceiving her. stone breakwater, from which they cess.’ “I don’t care what it's been; 1 want "Ab,” said the lady, “that is your dart out Incessantly and make havoc the fountains of the Church Temper ­ »»»» gallantry, then! To pass before me to know what it Is!” — Philadelphia among any school of small fry which Times. “I have carried the lesson home and ance Society. Coils of pipe connected without ever looking at me!” may be Innocently disporting them­ with the Croton water supply and it lias remained a part of my existence. “ If I had looked at you. madame, ” re ­ selves within striking distance. These A Bo.tonc.e Definition. cooled by passing through a client Ailed hooded eels have been known to haunt By following my father's advice 1 won with ice is the simple arrangement. plied the old beau, “I never could have Teacher —Have you ever heard of th« passed you at all.” a particular spot for over a year. They the good-will of my employers, if not "happy isles of Greece?” • They are usually placed in the wall of of all the other clerks, some of the latter are good eating, despite their unpre­ Little Waldo—Yes, ma’am. A Chance For Him. some prominent building and are easily possessing appearance. insinuating that I was too good for this Teacher—Can you tell me something “I am afraid.” said the high browed world and that I was placing them in available. Thecostofa fountain is$125 bnrd. "that my poetry will never at­ about them? Primitive Fire Fljclitern. Little Waldo—They are pieces of pork an awkward position by working so The expense of tlie ice from May^> Oc­ tract public attention.” As late as the end of the sixteenth hard, as it placed them in a poor light tober is $100. entirely surrounded by beans.—Chicago “ Cheer up! ” said the loyal compan­ century In London the sole method of with my employers by my over-zealous ion “Maybe you’ll get appointed to Record-Herald. extinguishing tires was by means of Nation in a Crater. endeavor to please, and made it appear office one of these days, and then ev­ contrivances known as "hand squirts.” Talent. There is no more interesting or curi­ These were usually made of brass, that they were indifferent as to their ous sight on earth than the interior of erybody will talk about your poetry.”— Talent Is aptitude for a given line. Washington Star. employers ’ interest. However, I pro ­ with a carrying capacity ranging from In tbe old Bible significance It is power two to four quarts of water. The two ceeded in the even tenor of my way, the extinct crater, Aso San, about thirty intrusted to one for a specific use. Ev­ How to Be Happy. quart “squirts” were two and a half and one by one I passed them, and to miles from the city of Kumamoto, in Jinks—What do you consider »be se­ erybody has some talent worth culti­ feet in length, one nnd a half inches in day I stand as the senior head of the Japan. 11 is inhabited by 20,000 people, vating. Tbe more we use what we diameter at their largest part and but flrm where I commenced as a green who live and prosper within its verti­ cret of happiness? originally have tlie greater becomes its Winks — Make money enough to buy half an inch at the nozzle. On each country boy. Again I say, be as faith­ cal wall, 800 feet high. The inhabi­ value.—Ladles’ Home Journal. Bide were hnndles, and three men were ful to your employer’s interests, even in tants rarely make a journey into the your wife everything she wants.—New York Weekly. required to manipulate a "squirt” The man who tries to drown his sor outer world, but form, as it were, a lit­ One man on each side grasped the the smallest matters, as you would wish tle nation by themselves. row in tlie flowing bowl must sooner or Win He Rejoiced. them to be to you. That is practicing handle In one band and the nozzle In Daughter—Papa went off In great Inter discover Hint sorrow Is ntnphlbl the other, while the third man worked the golden rule in every day life and • Gossip is unfair. It is more persist­ ous — Philadelphia Record. humor this morning. the piston or plunger, drawing It out keeping it ever before you. I have —My goodness! That reminds while the nozzle was Immersed In a gained my heart's desire. I have not ent about a man under suspicion than it me Mother Italy has fifty factories of chemical 1 forgo» to ask him for any money. supply of water which tilled the cylin­ only succeeded in business but I have Is alxiut a man well known to lie tough. -Tit-Bits. fertilizers. der. The bearers then elevated the made a home for my father for many When a sick man notices that his I.elr.a Expense. nozzle when the other pushed in the long years. If my mother was with SUKKe.tlna n Remedy. Drug Clerk We don't happen to have plunger, the skill of the former being him he would lie the happiest and most wife curls her hair only just before the With sarcastic lingers the deaf and the drugs named In tills prescription, doctor comes, he is not ¿sick enough to employed In directing the stream of dumb lady curtain lectured her hus­ but we have others just ns good. water upon the tire. Such primitive satisfied man in Christendom. He has >«• dangerous. band for betting on tbe races. never ceased to grieve for her. To use Customer I suppose thnt's all right: contrivance's are sold to have been “Either talk slower.” he spelled out one of his old expressions, ‘the day I used during the great tire of Kk’Si. You can’t tie mean and happy any but what a fool I was to pay the doc­ on his hand, “or else put hopples on had her sign the mortgage I drove the more than an apple can be sour and tor $3 for Hint prescription! That's yotir finger« They interfere when you Test r.nnecessnry. what bothers me.-Boston Transcript. strike this gait.’’—Judge. The beggar doesn't have to be weigh­ flrst nail into hercoflln.’ Hhe saw only sweet. disaster resulting from it, and yet it ed in the balance to be found wanting I nil.I.bed. Detail Hennlrln« Attentimi. was the only thing to do under the cir­ Speaking of “crcx'odile tears,” did you —Philadelphia Record. "If you kind of keep an eye on these If every man Is the architect of his cumstances. but It broke her heart. ‘Be ever see a whale blubber? self made men," remarked Unde Jerry own destiny, he should pay particular Among the few great Joys of life is faithful in small things, my boy,’ he Peebles, "you'll find that lots of 'em staying in bed fifteen minutes after wo said as he hastily* left the room, for a re­ The greatest of all pleasuses is to give think the Job's so well done It don't attention to the Are escapes.—Phila­ delphia Record. know we ought to get up. turn to the unfortunate days of oldauld pleasure to one we love. need any polish.”—Chicago Tribune. MAIL CARRIERS’ CAR FARE. Companies Are Paid a Lump Sum by the Government. “Most people who spend $25 a year for car fare consider that they are con­ tributing liberally toward the dividends of the company." remarked a postal clerk, “but Uncle Sam spends nearly $250,000 a year for the transportation of carriers lu street cars in the different free delivery cities. “For Instance, Including substitutes, there are 275 carriers in Washington. You may have observed that carriers, when riding on tbe surface roads, do not pay fares either with tickets or in cash. Tlie free delivery system allots tlie Washington city postotfice an an­ nual allowance of $4.000 to be used ex­ clusively for the ear fare of letter car­ riers. The postmaster is authorized to make a contract with the companies to transport all curriers while on duty for a lump sum, which he does. The car­ rier must have his pouch with him, which Is n sign manual to the conduct­ or that lie is on duty, the mere wear­ ing of his uniform being insufficient. "This rnle obtains in some cities, while in otliers special tickets are sold at special rules to be used only by car­ riers, or the cash is handed direct to the carrier for a certain number of daily trips, depending upon the prac­ tice Thus, while Washington receives $1.000. Chicago gets $20,000 for letter carriers' car fare because of Its large territorial extent and distance between sin l ions on the prairie, oftentimes ne­ cessitating a double fare by tbe car­ rier Boston is allowed $13.500 and New York nnd Philadelphia about $10,- 000 each. Few people know that the government expends such a large sum yearly for such a trivial cause.”— Washington Post. A Very Old Rnle. The oldest mathematic book in the world Is believed to be tbe “Papyrus lllilnd” in the British museum, pro­ fessed to have been written by Abmes, a scribe of King lta-a-us, about the pe­ riod between 2000 and 1700 B. C. This “Papyrus Rhind” was translated by Eisenlohr of Leipsic, and It was found to contain a rule for making a square equal In area to a given circle. It was not nut forth as an original discovery, but as tbe transcript of a treatise 500 years older still, which sends us back to. approximately. 2500 B C.. when Egyptian mathematicians solved, oi thought they had solved, the problem of squaring tbe circle. Food, and Appetite. In some good advice given in print by a physician tlie theory held by faddists In special foods, warranted to perform marvels of health and restoration, Is exploded. "Don’t,” says this writer, “Imagine that you can grow strong on foods that you dislike. Better fried ham and chocolate cake with a good appetite than a health cereal witli milk and disgust.” One would hesitate, perhaps, to fol low strictly the fried ham and choeo late cake dictum to tbe letter, but it is undoubtedly true that at tlie moment many persons almost starve tbemselvee because they have no appetite for the various so called health foods, which alone they fancy they can eat. Above and beyond tlie choice of food is mod­ eration in partaking of it and relish fot what Is eaten.—New York Post. The flint and the West. A man from tbe west who was re cently visiting Maine fell into conver­ sation with a quiet old farmer on a train. He was full of the greatness of the west and talked about the big farms and big crops of his particular section and wound up by sayiug. “I suppose you do manage to pick up a living on these little Maine farms.” The old Maine farmer smiled sadly nnd replied: “Yes. and a few years ago some of us Invested money in your sec­ tion. and it is there yet. It was a per­ manent investment, I guess." The western man changed tbe con­ versation.—New York Tribune. A Pol .on Without uu Antidote. Some persons are advocating a substi­ tute for death by electricity and bang Ing. They have advocated poisoning Well, nothing could be more effectivt or painless than execution by means ot a capsule tilled with hydrocyanic acid It might be served without tbe knowl­ edge of the convict, and death would be so sudden and so certain that there could be no resurrection. A siugle drop placed on tbe tongue of a big dog causes Instant death. A half teaspoon ful taken by a man will cause him tc drop as If struck by lightning. There Is no antidote. Proved Her ClHlm. “I wanted to show," she said, “that woman Is maligned, that brevity Is quite as much her attribute as it Is man's, and so when be proposed I had to say ‘Yes.’ ’’ "You might have said ‘No,’” It was suggested. “Not at all.” she protested. "When To Color Miihounny. you sr.y ‘No.’ you have to explain why The natural color of mahogany you say It and tell how sorry you are, when It is too light may lie deepened and It would have spoiled everything.” by applying a mixture composed of a —Chicago Post half gallon of water, four ounces of madder and two ounces of fustic. Boil One Way to Cot Bra... and apply while hot. While it is wet To cut sheet brass chemically tbe fol­ streak the grain with black. This will lowing method meets with great suc­ give new mahogany quite tbe coloring cess: Make a strong solution of bichlo­ of old. ride of mercury In alcohol. With a Precoclun. Youth. quill pen draw a line across tbe brass Mother—Wluit’s baby crying about. where It is to be cut. Let It dry on. and with the same pen draw over tills line Jane? Nurse—I don’t know, ma'am, unless with nitric acid. The brass may then be broken across like glass cut with a It was what the parlor maid said. She remarked that Willie looked like his diamond. pa. and I'm afraid Willie heard her. Exchange. Gold Pena. The flrst gold pens made in this coun­ HI. Chance. try were all manufactured by band, Wickers—1 don't know wlint is the the gold being cut from strips of tbe matter with me. My memory is get metal by scissors and every subsequent ting so treacherous that I cannot trust operation being performed by hand. It from one week to the next. These handmade gold pens cost from Vickers—Is that so? I say. can yon $5 to $20 and were far inferior to tlie lend nte $10 for about thirty days? machine made article of the present day. Carrins. A genteel carver always sits when he Truthful Debtor. carves, savs a work on etiquette. Per- Long—Say. Short. I'd like to have haps he does, but It Is pretty certain that $10 you borrowed of me three that there are times when lie yotirnfnl months ago ly yearns to put one foot on the tnlfie Short—Sorry, old man. but I can’t •nd tbe other on tbe bird while strug give It to y«.u at the present writing gling with the fowl.—London Answers. Long—But you said you wanted II for a little while only The times that It turned out that a Short-Well. 1 gave It to you straight man was right he remembers a great I didn't keep It half an hour.—Chicagi deal longer than those when be was News. wrong.—Atchison Globe.