BANDON RECORDER.
*»»»»»»»»..««»•»»»»»»»»»»» You will be happier for It and your
: Polly
Larkin
•
*
J
Why He Didn’t uJ.ur.
♦
Here is one that a young man who a»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»».
knows a good story when be hears it
heard one railroad man tell another in
a depot up the line the other day:
“We picked up a new Irishman
somewhere up country an' set him to
•work brakin’ on a construction train
at 3 cents a mile for wages. One day
when him an’ me was on the train she
got away on one of them mountain
grades, an’ the first thing we knowed
the was flylu’ down the track at about
ninety miles an hour, with nothin’ in
Bight but the ditch an’ the happy hunt
in' grounds, when we come to the end.
I twisted ’em down as hard as I could
all along the tops, an' then of a sudden
I see Mike crawlin' along toward the
end of one of the cm. on all fours,
with bis face the color of milk. I
thought he was gettin' ready to Jump,
an’ I see bls finish if he did.
“ ‘Mike,’ I BayB, ’for heaven’s sake
ton't Jump!’
“He clamps his Ungers on the run-
nln’ board to give him a chance to
turn round an’ lookin’ at me con
temptuous, answers:
“‘Jump, Is it?’ Do yea think I'd be
afther Jumpin’ an’ me makln’ money
as fast as I am?”—Portland Orego
nian.
A Boston Translation.
Little Emerson—Mamma, I find no
marginal note In elucidation of this ex
pression, which I observe frequently to
occur in my volume of “Fairy Tale
Classics,” "With bated breath.” What
Is the proper Interpretation of the
phrase?
Mamma—“With bated breath,” my
son, commonly occurs in fairy tales.
Your father often returns from pisca
torial excursions with bated breath.
The phrase In such instances, however,
has no significance ns applying to the
bait employed to allure the fisli, but Is
merely an elastic term of dubious
meaning and Busplclous origin, utilized,
as I have already intimated, simply be
cause of the sanction which it has gain
ed by customary usage In fairy tales
generally.. Do you comprehend. Emer
son?
Little Emerson—Perfectly, mamma.—
Judge.
Coincidences of Dates.
Attention has often been called to
the curious fact of the date Sept. 3 fig
urlng so largely In the history of Oliver
Cromwell. That very dominating man
was born on Sept. 3, 1599; he won the
battle of Dunbar Sept. 3, 1650; that of
Worcester Sept. 3, 1651, and he died
Sept. 3, 1658. But we have lately come
across some coincidences of dates
which, so far as we know, have not
been noticed before. The number 88
seems to have had fatal influence on
the Stuarts. Robert II., the first Stu
art king, died in 1388; James II. was
killed at the siege of Roxburghe Cas
tle, 1488; Mary, queen of Scots, was
beheaded In Fotherlngay, 1588 (new
style); James VII. (II. of England)
was dethroned In 1688; Bonny Prince
Charlie died In Rome, 1788, and with
him died the last hopes of the Jacob
ites.
Feline Depravity,
“Ob, Horace,” walled his young wife,
“I have Just found out that Ajax, our
benutiful Angora cat, has been leading
a double life!”
“That makes eighteen, I suppose,”
said Horace. "Wbat has he been do
ing?”
"You know I let him out every morn
ing, because be seems to want to go
nnd play out of doors. Well, I have
discovered that he goes over to tlie
Robinsons and lets them feed him and
pet him.”—Chicago Tribune.
The Betel Nut.
Betel nuts, the produce of the areca
palm, are chiefly used as a masticatory
by the natives of the east. They are
too small to be applied to many orna
mental uses, but are occasionally em
ploy«! by the turner and wrought into
beads for bracelets, small rosary cases
and other little fancy nrtlcles. In the
Museum of Economic Botany at Kew
there is a walking stick made of these
nuts, sliced, mounted or supported on
an iron center.
A Zoo Rlurnailon.
“You know.” said the orang outang,
“that man la descended from a mon
key.”
“Yes.” nnswered the chimpanzee,
“and his descent has been very great.
But let us set it down to his credit that
he tries to rise again. Every now and
then you hear of some man who Is do
ing his best to make a monkey of him
self.”—Washington 8tar.
A pretty and loving triLute was paid
to the memory of the late General M.
G. Vallejo by the Ladies' Improvement
Club of Sonoma when they planted a
memorial tree in the historic plaza
where the Bear Flag was first raised.
It was a fitting testimonial to a noble,
upright man whose principles were cast
in a better mold than many he threw
the mantle of charity and good-will
over and who forgot his kindness and
generosity when fortune smiled upon
them. General Vallejo was as true as
steel, and his great heart beat in sym
pathy for all those who called upon
him for aid. He was one of the histor
ical men of the Coast, buving figured in
the early history of California in a way
that reads like a story-book to the chil
dren of to-day. He was also the first
Governor in California. A more suit
able memorial could not have beeu
chosen for him than the live oak which
was selected from his old home in
Sonoma, the roots of which were
planted in soil taken from several
places, among them General Vallejo’s
birthplace at Monterey; Benicia, named
in honor of his wife; Vallejo, once his
residence; Jaurez's tombin the City of
Mexico, and Lafayette’s tomb in Paris.
A touching incident of the event was
his daughter, Mrs. L. Emporan, Iteing
chosen to place the first spadeful of earth
around the roots of the oak. The ad
dress of the day was delivered by Major
A. E. Sherman, a warm personal friend
of General Vallejo. The whole event
touches a warm and responsive chord
in Polly’s heart. It shows the loyalty
of the ladies in this pretty little “ valley
of the moon ” to the memory of this
man among men whose memory will
ever remain as green as the live oak
that stands as a silent and growing
witness to the sterling character and
worth of General Vallejo. All hail to
the Ladies’ Improvement Club of
Sonoma. If they have accomplished
nothing else all can join in saying in
this “ well done.”
»»»»
I went into an office the other day
and there 1 found the owner poring over
some musty pages of literary lore. He
was ]>atcliing an article together and
“ trying to make something out of
nothing,” he said. It was a puzzle and
he was ready to quit and turn it over to
somebody who had not been bearing
tales of woe all morning. “See that,
Polly,” he said pointing to a good
sized placard pinned on the wall behind
him. “ You will think I am a bear,
but I am so tired of listening to cases of
distress that unfortunately I cannot
help, and besides it rattles me so that I
cannot attend to my work properly.”
“ Tell your troubles to someone else, for
I have troubles of my own,” read the
placard. “ It is this way, Polly. Now T
have been on this article all morning
and have not been able to compose my
self enough to write one sensible line.
First, in comes a little woman who
wants me to use my influence in getting
her husband out of the penitentiary.
He is in for a long term and he has
only served one year and it is folly to
think of asking pardon for him yet, but
poor little woman, she thinks 1 can
unlock the prison cell if I try and she
comes every little while to know if
something cannot be done; tells me of
his virtues and how good he was to her
and how hard it is for her to get'along
even though she has placed two of her
little children in an orphan asylum.
This was his first offense in breaking
the law, couldn’t 1 place Ilia ¡last record
before the Governor. After she goes
out discouraged and feeling like the
world and everybody else is aga.nst
her, in comes a “Weary Willie” with
his troubles, and so on, until I am
thoroughly exasperated.” “Do you
think your placard will do any good ? ”
I asked him. “ Not a bit of it, for they
won’t stop to read it, and if they did it
wouldn’t make any difference, they
wouldn’t think it was meant for them,
but it was some satisfaction to me to
write it and tack it up.
««««
In another office a man lias tacked
directly in front of his desk so that all
“That editor is terribly slow at read who enter may read, “ Tell your
troubles to a detective, for I have
ing manuscript.”
“Think so? Why, I know the rime troubles of my own.” It is a great
be went through twelve stories in less mistake we make in this life, in
than a minute.”
burdening other people with our
“Gracious! When was that?”
troubles. It is nothing to them, and in
“When the elevator broke.”-
fact they are ouly bored, and while
they may listen respectfully to your
Terrific Thunder.
tale of woe, common politeness requir
The largest rainfall on earth has been ing that much of them, their minds
recorded at C'hera PunJI. on the bay of
Bengal, but the most violent thunder may be afar oil or dwelling on their
storms ever observed are probably own trials and tribulations which are of
those of French Guiana. At Cape Or more importance to them than a whole
ange. some forty miles south of Cay volume of others' woes. There are
enne, a French naval officer saw the bi many interesting and Improving
rills of the coast bills turned into wa topics to discuss that will make you
terfalls by a cloudburstlike storm, forget the little petty annoyances of the
while the crashing thunder ¡teals were day. You can talk all day al>out your
Incessant and often almost deafening,
so much so, indeed, that some of the troubles and lie none the lietter for it.
sailors began to mutter long forgotten You can enjoy an hour or so with a
prayers, probably thinking the day of friend who makes it a ¡stint of keeping
her troubles to herself, not even reveal
Judgment near at hand.
ing them to the family when they’ are
rjsKimo Monrnlnj Coatom*,
gathered together for a happy hour,
All Eskimos are superstitious about and who delight in saying bright
death, and. although they hold festi things and of gleaning information and
vals In memory of departed friends, bits of wisdom whenever opportunity
they will usually carry n dying person
offers and your wits are brightened. It
to some abandoned hut. there to drag
out bls remaining days without food, is like a good tonic to spend your spare
medicine, water or attendance. After time with such friends. It adds a new
the death of a busband or a wife the sparkle to life and the miserable,
survivor cuts the front hair short and murky dark glasses you have been look
fasts for twentv-flve da vs.
ing through must give way to a clearer
vision. This old world that wags mer
A Contractor.
rily on despite the trials and vexations
"What does your father do?” asked
takes on a brighter phase and life is
the teacher of the new boy.
worth the living. In place of telling
“He’s a contractor,” was the reply.
your troubles to some one else keep
"A railway contractor?”
"No. ma’am; a sausage contractor. them to yourself, remembering that
ile ties up the ends after another man others have trials of their own. Make
has filled them.”
this a rule of your life and practice it.
Quick Work.
DISINFECTING A SHIP.
friends will lie the better for your
Molat Heat, a Thorough Germicidal
thoughtfulness.
Agent« I m V m C
Miriam U----- wants to know how
she can arrange her plants most effec
tively in a bay window and what are
the most desirable plants? This ques
tion is easily answered. Have a shelf
made around the window, stain it to
correspond with the wtsalwork in the
room and then cover it with your
plants. There are so many varieties of
begonias and they are all beautiful,
easily raised and give you no eud of
pleasure. Umbrella plants and smilax,
the feather asparagus, maiden-hair and
ferns. The coleas family lend a rich
bright color to your window garden as
well, und a pot of the dainty lobelia, as
blue as the summer skies, is a perfect
delight.
BRIEF REVIEW.
No Beaux For Central Girls.
With the advent of the telephone
girl trouble has come to the Dresden
postoffice, says a correspondent of the
Western Mail. Aliout 300 young women
are employed in the telephone depart
ment, and theircomingsout and goings
in attract to an inconvenient degree the
young man population of tbe city. The
male admirers and sweethearts collect
in groups, and when the fair 300 troop
out the mutual salutations are demon
strative to a degree usually reserved for
a tete-a-tete. Not infrequently a score
or so of young fellows, whose admira
tion is general rather than particular,
make their way into the doorway and
there pass critical review on the whole
300 as they pass out. “Kiss ill the
Street.” as practiced in front of the
Dresden postoffice, has at last reached
proportions which austere authority
cannot lunger permit, and the Director
of Posts and Telegraphs has issued an
order declaring that male escort to or
from business, is no longer allowed by
the regulations. The subject is keenly
debated in the Dresden press.
Pigeons Interrupt Service.
The pigeons at St. Paul’s Cathedral
are considered to be one of the sights of
London. In Paris the birds are appar
ently not looked upon with much favor
and would seem to be regarded as a
nuisance. The authorities of the Church
of Hulpice waited upon the local police
commissary recently and asked wheth
er nothing could be done to prevent the
increase of pigeons in the church. He
declared that the birds were at first
made welcome, but they increased at
such an alarming rate that the place
was infested with them. During divine
service they made such a noise that they
interrupted the proceedings, and there
were daily complaints concerning them.
The police commissary pointed out that
he could hardly send his constables to
arrest the birds. The only course he ad
vised was to set traps, as it would not
do to have a pigeon shooting-match in
the sacred edifice.
Blindness an Inheritance.
There are eleven of the present Her-
resliofls and five of them are blind, but
they know how to build boats. Blind
ness is an inheritance of the Herre-
shofl's, though all the afflicted were not
born so. One of them walked to a win
dow one day to read a letter, and, turn
ing around said: "My, I am blind!”
Another bumped his head against a
door and his sight was gone. Some of
them were born blind and all of them
with the tendency, so that shocks and
slight accidents induce loss of sight.
They are rich, and all have beautiful
homes in Bristol. All of them are ar
tistic. One brother teaches music for
the love of it. Not one of the children
of the present generation is blind yet.
Won a Case With a Poem.
“1 once won a case with one of James
Whitcomb Riley’s poems,” said Con
gressman Brick of Indiana, who is a
lawyer, "and so I stand for him. I was
defending a man charged with stealing
silk, and it looked so bad for him that I
decided on an appeal to the jury. I did
the best I could with the evidence, but
1 banked most on the fact that the de
fendant was a young man with a wife
and child and it would go hard with all
of them to have him go to the peniten
tiary for a term of years. My whole ar
gument led up to the point where I
closed with Riley's little poem, ‘Back
From a Two Years’ Sentence.’ When
I finished the jury was in tears, and
even the Judge and the attorney for the
prosecution were affected. The jury
took just one ballot and returned a ver
dict of not guilty.”
The gift of Emperor William to Har
vard University will lie much larger
than was at first supposed. The casts
number several thousand. The entire
cost of the collection will lie defrayed
from the Emperor’s private purse, and
is estimated at about half a million
marks ($125,000).
The fellow
the bottom of
to climb will
someone who
who sits in the shade at
the ladder and never tries
be the first to pull down
is climbing.
It has been found that perhaps the
main reason why tuberculosis advances
so rapidly in Hongkong is that in most
cases it is complicated with malaria.
Only one man in 100 in the labor
unions of the country Is reported unem
ployed by union officials.
Better wear old pantaloons that are
yours than new ones that belong to
your merchant.
Very few of us ever make money fast
enough to suit us. Wonder why that
Js?_________________
When the vessel has tied up to the
wharf In New Orleans, the first step is
the removal of the bedding, clothing
am cushions and other cloth fabrics to
the quarantine shed. Here they are
bung on a framework consisting of a
series of racks suspended from a long
cur running on a track and so arranged
that when the racks are filled the
whole thing may be run Inside one of
the three great disinfecting cylinders
with which the stutlou is equipped.
These cylinders are enormous steel
boilers fifty feet hi length by eight feet
In diameter and fitted inside with con
tinuous culls of steam pipe. The cylin
ders are covered with asbestus and
r.wnthed tn felt, and when the cylinder
caps are on they are airtight. When
Ibe clothing has been placed Inside aud
the cylinders closed, dry heat Is forced
through the pipes at a temperature of
180 degrees, nod this Is followed by
moist heat raised to a temperature of
230 degrees. The pressure of from six
to eight pounds put upon this steam
heat is sufficient to force ft through
heavy mattresses or bundles of cloth
ing.
After a period which varies from
thirty minutes to an hour the cylinders
are opened, the racks are run out, and
the rapid evaporation which follows
causes the clothing to dry almost Im
mediately. The clothing Is unharmed
by this process, and the moist heat Is a
thorough germicidal agent. It Is an In
teresting fact that If a freshly launder
ed linen shirt or collar Is put into the
cylinder It will emerge thoroughly
moist and apparently tn need of anoth
er starching. The evaporation Is so rap
id however, that It Is Immediately re
stored to Its original condition, not
ever, the gloss being removed.—Leslie's
Monthly.
YOKOHAMA BY NIGHT.
Lantern Illumination Makes the City
Akin to Fairyland.
.*. row of ¡taper lanterns in the black
shadow of a wall is tlie first Impres
sion the newly arrived traveler has of
Yokohama as he steps from Ills "sam
pan" on to the wharf at night.
Tlie lanterns hang low and almost
motionless, but at tlie word “rickshaw”
they begin to sway, and with a silent,
almost rhythmical movement they
come rushing toward him. A moment
Inter he discovers that each lantern is
attached to a rickshaw, which offers
for less than half a yen an hour to con
vey him anywhere his fancy may lead
him. But go where he will the lantern
is always there, dangling and swaying
nnd dimly flashing.
The lantern on the rickshaw is a
characteristic detail of the night pic
ture of Yokohama. It is a series of
brilliant dashes of color under a cloud
less. starlit sky. fanned by a soft
breeze which seems half of the sea ami
half of the tropics, with smiling, doll-
like people gliding about everywhere.
It hardly seems real. It isn’t fairyland
exactly, because fairies are not sup
posed to be always as picturesque as
are these Japanese. Certain it is that
few things anywhere in the round
world can be more beautiful than lan
tern lighted Yokohama.
As the occidental crosses the bridge
over the canal from the foreign quar
ter and enters the native city he sees
a bewildering maze of lights. Through
out Yokohama gas lamp posts are few
and far between, a fact which makes
the lantern illumination all the more
conspicuous. They are not hung at reg
ular heights or intervals, but make a
sort of tangle of soft colored lights
ove.- the front of the buildings and
even across the street.—New York Mail
aud Express.
A Cs«e of "Quit«.”
Clerical Customer (arousing himself
from a nap in a barber’s chair)—All
through, eh?
Barber—Yes, sir; quite some time
ago.
Clerical Customer—Indeed! Then I
must have been indulging in a quiet
uap.
Barber—You surely have, sir.
Clerical Customer—It was certainly
very kind of you not to awaken me.
Tlie rest has done me good, and I am
very thankful to you for wbat was
really a very refreshing sleep.
Barber—Don’t mention it. sir. It’s
only a fair return. I attended service
at your church last Sunday.—Boston
Courier.
A Story nt n Father’s Love.
Old Mr. ---- has an only daughter.
They are of lowly rank, but he is hon
est and industrious. By trade he is a
p tiddler in a foundry, and he earns
$4.50 a day. Twenty years ago the
wife nnd mother died, and the child of
five became the old man’s pet. Twelve
years ago he sold his property and
siient all his money In sending her
abroad to study music. She came back
two years ago a famous singer and a
matchless beauty and refused to own
her father. He has moved to the east
side in order that by living on a pit
tance he may have $20 every week to
give her to buy clothes. Every week
he sends it. nnd every week she spends
It, though she neither sees nor writes
to him. Week after week he grows a
little prouder and also a little sadder.—
City Missionary in Ladles' Home Jour
nal.
December’s Name«.
December, so called from being the
tenth month when the year began in
March, has probably had more names
conferred upon it than any other of the
twelve Into which our year is now di
vided. Among the early Saxons it was
called Winter Mount, or winter month.
After their conversion to Christianity
they called it Ileligh Monat, or holy
month. In honor of the birth of Christ.
In later days In Germany It was called
Christ Monat for the same reason.
Fires used to lie lighted for warmth In
this month, and the want of chimneys
used to cause a too obvious inconven
ience. which led to its ltelng cnlled Fu-
mosus, or smoky. It was also dubbed
Canus, or hoary, from the snows or
hoarfrosts which then generally whit
ened the higher grounds.
Of prominent persons mentioned in
Wonder how we would have things if the new Issue of “Who’s Who In Amer
ica." those born in New York number
we could have them our own way?
2,066, In Massachusetts 1,130, In Penn
sylvania 1,020, In Ohio 866. These are
The best collectors in the world are 5,022 of the 11.551 subjects whose rec
the poorest ¡layers.
ords are giver
HOWTHE CHINESE GET RAIN
Peculiar Practices la Vogue In th«
Celestial Kiugdom.
It is one of the peculiarities of tlie
Chinese that, while they have devdop-
ed elaborate philosophies, none of tneru
has led to any confidence in the tfnl-
formity of nature. Neither the people
nor their rulers bare any fixed upialon
as to the causes of rainfall. The plan
In some provinces when the need of
rain is felt is to borrow a god from a
neighboring district and petition him
for the desired rain. If hla answer Is
satisfactory, he is returned to his home
with every mark of honor; otherwise
he may be put out in the sun as a hint
to wake up and do bls duty. A bunch
of willow is usually thrust into Ma
band, as willow Is sensitive to mois
ture.
Another plan In extensive use Is the
building of special temples In which
are wells containing several iron tab
lets. When there is a scarcity of rain,
a messenger starts out with a tablet
marked with the date of the Journey
and the name of the district making
the petition. Arriving at another city,
be ¡lays a sum of money and is allow
ed to draw a new tablet from the well,
throwing in Ids own by way of ex
change. On the return Journey he is
supposed to eat only bran and travel
at toil sliced day and night. Some
times lie passes through districts as
greatly in need of rain as his own.
Then the people In these places way
lay him and, temporarily borrowing hla
tablet, get tlie rain Intended for anoth
er place.
Prayers are usually made in the fifth
nnd sixth months when the rainfall '.a
always due, and a limit of ten days
is set for their effective operation. Un
der such conditions rain usually falls
during the prescribed time. When the
prayers are In progress, the umbrella,
among other objects, comes under tbe
ban. In some provinces foreigners
have been mobbed for carrying this
harmless article at that time.
DEATH BY ARSENIC.
The Way Thl« Polson Acta Upon the
Human Syatem.
When a single dose of arsenic in suf
ficient quantity to be felt has been tak
en, colicky pains, bowel disorder and
perhaps nausea result. In the course
uf an hour after a poisonous dose has
been taken an istense burning pain is
felt in the esophagus and stomach.
This spreads to the entire anterior por
tion of »lie lower part of the trunk. A
sense of constriction at the throat and
an acrid, metallic taste accompany the
¡mln. Then vomiting and relaxation of
the bowls begin. As tbe case pro
gresses the symptoms Increase in In
tensity. Then comes a thirst that wa
ter will not allay, although It appar
ently Increases tbe stomach disturb
ance. The victim groans and writhes.
Now lie Implores tbe doctor to save
him. Then he begs to be killed and put
out of ¡mln. The extremities become
Icy. The pulse Is small, feeble and fre
quent, and the breathing Is labored,
emburrassed and painful because of
abdominal tenderness. Tbe surface of
the body becomes dark and of that
bluish color that medical men call cy-
anosed. Violent cramps add their tor
ture, exhaustion becomes collapse, con
vulsions or coma ensues, and death
ends the agony. This torture lasts
sometimes from five to twenty hours.
In some cases these symptoms occur,
but In a modified form, and the doctor
will apparently get the better of the
disease. The remission will be but for
a day or two. Then the abdomen will
swell, and icy coldness will pervade
tlie frame. Shivering will become pro
nounced trembling, then cramps, con
vulsions and death.
Bird« Are Like Hamon Being«.
Canaries, like human beings, vary
very much in character, some cocks be
ing so indifferent and Idle that they
will let the hen do all the work of
building and rearing, while they them
selves sit and plume their feathers.
Others, again, are perfect gentlemen In
their manners, waiting on the ben with
a quiet courtesy and seeing that all she
requires is at once brought to her.
Again, the hens vary in disposition,
some Iic0 behaving in a quiet, modest
way, attending to their young ones
with regularity, while others are in a
constant state of chatter with their
husbands, pecking and arguing with
them every time they go near. Thus
we see that these little birds have their
tiffs and domestic quarrels, not unlike
ourselves.—Chambers’ Journal.
The Force of Cyclone«.
Careful estimates of the force of a
cyclone and tbe energy required to
keep a full fledged hurricane in active
operation reveal the presence of a pow
er that makes the mightiest efforts of
men appear as nothing In comparison.
A force fully equal to over 400,000,000
horsepower was estimated as develop
ed In a West Indian cyclone. This is
about fifteen times the power that can
be developed by all the means within
tbe range of man’s capabilities during
the same time. Were steam, water,
windmills and the strength of all man
and all animals combined they could
not at all approach the tremendous
force exerted.
A Tent of Friendship.
A gentleman has tried the following
peculiar way of probing tbe ties of
friendship. He sent letters to twenty
intimate friends asking for a loan of a
pound. Thirteen of the two dozen
friends did not reply at all. five de
clined to lend the money, two promised
to send it on the next day and did not
do It, one sent his "last 10 shillings.”
and only three sent the full sum asked
for. Tbe supplicant and all the
"friends" he had written to are well
off.—St Petersburg Novoe Vremya.
Not to Blame.
SarcHNin That Failed.
A certain KuglNhinnn by birth who
Is an American by force of circum
stances ha t been In this country long
enough to absorb tbe American idea
of humor. Last summer he was In
London on a visit and happening to
have business with a man on an up
per floor of a tall building took the
"lift” to reach his office. Tbe elevator
was one of those excessively deliber
ate British affairs, and its snail-like
progress annoyed the Americanized
Briton. The only other occupant of
the car was a middle aged English
man, with a manner of peculiarly
English seriousness. The man from
America ventured to address him.
“I think 1 could make a great im
provement in this lift,” he -said.
The Englishman looked seriously in
terested.
“How?” lie asked.
“Why,” the other man went on, “I’d
make it go faster by a simple little ar
rangement. I’d stop the lift altogeth
er and move the building up and
down."
The Englishman looked slightly
more interested.
“How?” he asked.
Spouse«.
CHOICE MISCELLANY
Hn««la’« Bad Shout««.
M. de Witte is perhaps the greatest
finance minister Russia has ever bad
and in bis last report has painted as
gloomy a view of tbe industrial and
economic situation of tbe empire as
any of his predecessors have done in
its darkest days of war. bankruptcy
and famine. The metal industries, he
says, are on the verge of ruin; tbe tex
tile nearly as bad. In twenty years tbe
productivity of tbe land has diminish
ed over one-quarter. An acre produces
less than one-fifth of the same area In
America. The number of houses has
diminished nearly one-half in thirty
years. Nearly half the population are
hopelessly in arrears with their taxes,
and tbe only parts of the empire which
show any signs of prosperity are those
Inhabited by non-Russian populations—
Finland. Poland and the Caucasus. It
is not a favorable showing for Russia’s
aggr. salve purposes, though she is lit
tle accustomed to abate them on ac
count of hard times or the penury and
sufferings of her people.
t'ncle Sam at the Head.
In the world’s race after tbe rolling
dollars Uncle Sum comes in far ahead.
The treasury bureau of statistics has
Just received the yearbook of the
London Daily Mall for 1902. in which
tbe United States heads the list of
wealthy nations, with £16,350.000.000
to her credit. Great Britain comes sec
ond, with £11.806.000.1X10; France third,
with £9,69O.IMX),OOO. und Germany
fourth, with £8.052,000.000. Russia is
last of the principal nations, having to
her credit only £6.425.000,000.
It is also satisfactory to see that of
these five nations the United States
has tbe smallest national debt. £221.-
(XXi.000. Germany's debt Is £651.000.-
(XX). that of the United Kingdom £706.-
000,000, that of Russia £711,000.000
and that of France £1,239.000.000.
The same list also shows the United
States to be tbe largest wheat pro
ducer, her crop for 1901 being 48O.IXM).
000 bushels, over double that of Rus
sia, next on tbe list.
Sponges grow In odd, fantastic
shapes. Some of them have an over
growth resembling huge warts. There
are some suggesting hands, hats and
figures of idols. These are curiosities
and not marketable for practical use.
In trimming them Into shape many
small sponges are made which are
used for children’s slates, for black
ing shoes and in making paper. The
uses vary according to size.
One of the largest Bponges known
is in New York city. It is fan shape
and some three feet in diameter. For
practical use it Is worthless, but as an
exhibit it Is valued at $100.
The best sponges are Imported from
the Mediterranean, although Florida
produces very fine varieties. These
vary In price from a cent to $20
apiece, although occasionally fine
specimens bring $60 a pound. The
best of these are used in surgical op
erations.
Other sponges are the mandruka
Ilouaecleanln* by Air,
batt, the elephant ear, velvet, grass
The first stationary compressed air
and sheep's wool, which Is best for
washing. The cheap sponges are used cleaning apparatus to be placed in a
in washing carriages and by painters. hotel in the United States, if not in
the world, was put in operation in Mil
waukee recently. The compressor is
A Carlo«« Indian Caatom,
In the original settlements in British located in tbe basement, and from It
Columbia a peculiar Institution occa pipes lead to every floor of tbe build
sioned gala times for the red men now ing, with places thereon for attaching
nnd then. This was the “potlatch," a the hose, and hereafter tbe carpets
thing to us so foreign, even In tbe Im and furniture and draperies of the ho
pulse of which It Is begotten, that we tel will be kept clean and sweet by
have no word or phrase to give Its means of this new device. It Is an
meaning. It Is a feast and merrymak automatic piece of mechanism, and
ing at the expense of some man who when in use the air pressure is kept at
has earned or saved what he deems eighty pounds to the square inch, it Is
considerable wealth, and who desires operated by electricity, and when the
to distribute every lota of ft at once limit of pressure is reached the elec
In edibles aud drinkables among the trical current is cut off, but as soon as
people of his tribe or village. He does started up tlie connection is renewed
this because he aspires to a chieftain and the pressure maintained. By this
ship or merely for the credit of a “pot means the air current is sent through
latch,” a high distinction. Indians the carpets, furniture and bedding,
have been known to throw away such cleaning out all dirt and rendering
a sum of money that their “potlatch” them sweet aud clean.—Milwaukee
has been given in a huge shed built Sentinel.
for the feast, and blankets and orna
Easy Way to Make Money.
ments have been distributed in addi
About the easiest mouey making
tion to tbe feast.
scheme ever seen is at Jerome. Arlz.. in
the opinion of I. T. Stoddard, secretary
Celt and Saxon.
One of Sheridan’s tales was of an of Arizona. “There is a brook that runs
Irishman who met a Briton, of the true out of the lower workings of Senator
John Bull pattern, standing with fold William A. Clark’s United Verde cop
ed arms In a contemplative mood, ap per mine,” lie said. “This water perco
parently meditating on tbe greatness lates all through certain sulpburetic
copper and gold deposits in the bowels
of bls little island.
"Allow me to differ with yel” ex of the earth, and as a result when It
runs out of the mine into a pool ar
claimed the Celt.
“But I have said nothing, sir,” re ranged for Itn reception it is heavily
loaded with liquid copper. The mining
plied John Bull.
“And a man may think a lie as well people dump scrap Iron of all kinds
as publish it,” persisted tbe pugna Into tbe pool, and the presence of the
iron in the water precipitates tbe cop
cious Hibernian.
"Perhaps you are looking for fight?" per In solid form to the bottom of the
pool, where It is picked up in irregular
queried tbe Briton.
“Allow me to compliment ye on the shapes. I was told the last time I was
quickness of yer perception,” said In Jerome that Clark's people pick out
Patrick, throwing down his coat, and of that scrap iron pool about $600 or
$700 worth of practically pure copper
then they pitched In.
every twenty-four hours. That’s what
I call an easy way of making money.”
To Care the Stamaierer.
It is said that stammerers rarely if
VoanzMer« In a Poatofflce.
ever show any impediment of speech
The postmaster at Jasper, Mo„ an
when speaking In whispers. On this
fact a method of treatment has been nounced some weeks ago that he would
advocated, which is as follows: For the no longer deliver mail between 4 and
first ten days speaking is prohibited. 4:30 p. m. to children going home from
This will allow rest to the voice and school because of tbe disturbance and
constitutes tbe preliminary stage of disorder resulting from a concerted
treatment. During the next ten days descent of tbe “kids” u|>on tbe post-
speaking is permissible in tbe whisper office. One parent took exception to
ing voice, and in the course of the next this ruling and complained to tlie de
fifteen days the ordinary conversation partment at Washington in tbe hope of
compelling the postmaster to set it
al tone may be gradually employed.
aside. The postmaster general, how
ever, upheld his local representative.
A Table Decoratloa.
At a banquet given recently in Paris The ruling having been officially sanc
by a French countess tbe guests re tioned at headquarters, it will be per
ceived a most astounding surprise. In manently enforced.
the center of the table was what ap
The Peanut In London.
peared to be a huge pile of roses, and
Noting the Introduction of the baked
Just before soup was served tbe roses
parted, disclosing a large birdcage. peanut in London, tbe Pall Mall Ga
This suddenly opened, revealing a zette observes: “We do not know
beautiful young lady adorned with whether that excellent feature of Brit
wings. She remained iu her strange ish civilization, tbe hot potato, flour
position during tbe dinner and Intro ishes on winter nights nt the street cor
duced each new dish by singing a ners of New York. Probably it does,
but If It does not there Bhould be an
couplet
opening for some good Samaritan with
Had Looked Oat For Number Oae.
an eye to business to show our cousins
“Have you ever done anything to that they have not got a monopoly of
better tbe condition of any part of tbe good things However, we welcome
human race?” said the very serious the peanut, more familiar to us ns the
man.
monkey nut. as a highly desirable Im
"Of course 1 have," answered the migrant nnd have no doubt that he has
person with the cold gray eye. "Am come to stay.”
I not a part of the human race?’—Ex
Literary t'nder writ lug.
change.
One well known flrm of publishers
A Cyalo oa Merritt*«.
runs n good deni of Its business on the
Sardines are a delicacy lit for any following lines: It secures n popular
epicure, but tbe other fish was thus novelist, offers him so much for Ids
summed up by an epigrammatic Cor- next book and then forms a little syn
nishman: “Pilchards,” he said "are dicate In the city to share the expense
like wives. When they’re bad, they're A new book by n popular nutlior Is ii
awful, and when they’re good they're considerably safer Investment than
only middling.”—Pall Mall Gazette.
many newly discovered gold mines. -
Literature.
Admirable Caatloa.
She—Saturday is our silver wedding
11 .** <Arny II:«irm
Book Agent—Is the bead of the bouse
Don't you tlilnk we ought to kill the
Sunday St-Ito I I'em-ber Remember,
In?
pig nnd have a feast?
Servant—Yes; he’s in the library try children, always respect gray hair
He—Kill the pig? I don't see why
Tommy Traddles Well, my pa does
ing
to write a letter on a new type
the poor animal Is to blame for what
not
writer
he
has
Just
bought
hnppened twenty-five years ago.”—Lon
8unday School Teacher (In astonish
Book Agent (hastily)—I’ll call ngain.
don Tit-Bits.
ment)—Whnt makes you think that?
Tommy Trnddles— He dyes bis whis
A Way to Kill.
Fashionable Doctor (out for a day’«
shooting) — Never saw such luck.
What’s the mntter with the birds? I
can’t kill one of them!
Host—Write 'em a prescription, doc
tori
Lady Help A-pleaty.
Mrs. Rangle—I've advertised for a
servant for a whole week with no ie
suits.
Mrs. Cumso- Well, I advertised for a
good looking Indy help nnd had thlrtv-
four to select from tbe first dav.-
kers.—Excba nge.
Since the commencement of the war
In South Africa Scotland has nent to
the front 15,500 noncommissioned offi
cers and men snd 330 officers; total,
15.830.