BANDON RECORDER.
EATING FISH.
It is not good form to ask for a sec
ond helping of tisb.
It is considered extremely bad form
to use a knife in dissecting fish.
A little modern fish knife, with an in
genious fork arrangement on one side,
Is now made.
A bit of lemon is served with broiled
and baked fish, and It Is In correct form
to use the fingers In expressing the
juice.
Potatoes are considered a proi>er ac
cessory to the fish course.
Sliced cucumbers, with plain French
dressing, are also served.
With a boiled fish the potatoes are
also usually boiled, cut Into bits or
scooped out and garnished with a little
melted butter and chopped parsley.
Never use the fingers to separate the
bones from the eatable portion of fish.
The bones must be evaded with such
dexterity as one can command without
other aid than such as a bit of bread
held in the left hand may furnish.
A Slight Deficit.
A weather stained, creaking wagon
drew up In front of a photographer’s
establishment in a Georgia town. Be
neath its body a lean hound came to a
standstill. A man clad In Jeans trou
sers. homespun shirt and guiltless of
eoat or vest emerged from the vehicle’s
anterior extremity. Settling his soft
slouch bat on the back ot Ills bead, bo
adjusted his lone gallus and gave the
lines to the wife nnd baby within. Be
hind these, from the dome of canvas
beyond, peered, big eyed and solemn,
numerous editions of the lord and mas
ter.
Entering the shop, the stranger paused
before a case of sample photographs
•nd, pointing to one, said, “Mister,
what d’yer charge for takln plcters like
that?”
“Three dollars a dozen,” replied the
elerk.
Thrusting Ills hands Into his pockets,
he turned thoughtfully toward the wag
onful of offspring. “Waal, I reckon 1'11
have ter wait a bit,” he said softly to
himself. “I ain’t got but ’leven.”—
Harper’s Magazine.
Who has not heard of “Calamity
Jane” and the valuable services she
has rendered to Indiau fighters? Pos
sibly to the younger generation of the
day “Calamity Jane” is a stranger, but
her name is a very familiar one to all
the older residents of the States, and
the friends whom she aided in other
days have not forgotten her, now that
she is in dire want. Poor “Calamity
Jane” has been having a hard time of
it the last few years, and although only
about 50 years of age, the bardslii|isslie
has endured In the past have left her a
broken-down woman, not only as far as
her physical health is concerned, but
in spirit as well. “Calamity Jane” has
been on the frontier since she waH a
young girl, and rendered valuable serv
ices to Custer, Reno, Egan and other
Indian lighters. She seemed to know
no such word as fear. She was in the
Black Hills at the time of the killing
of Wild Bill (William Hickok), and it
is said it was she who captured his
murderer. During the last few years
site lias drifted about Montana from
place to place, making a livelihood in
any way she could and selling her pic
tures to park tourists during the sum
mer months. Her health failed her,
and dmipg Um )«ast two years she has
been ill most of the time mid very
much discouraged. It was a cross to
the energetic woman when ill health
marked her for its victim. The news
papers made many an interesting arti
cle out of “Calamity Jane’s” trials and
tribulations, and were the cause of
General Egan and other friends learn
ing of her sad plight and their taking
steps to make the remainder of this
noted woman’s career a happier and
more comfortable one than site had
ever dreamed of. They sent Mrs. Jo
sephine Winfield Brake of Buffalo, N.
¥., author and Washingtoirt!orrea}>ond-
ent for a New York newspaper, to Mon
tana to search for “Calamity Jane,”
mid she found her in the hut of a De
gress at Horr, near Livingston. That
old fiery mid undaunted spirit of hers
was broken mid site was suffering with
fever. Mrs. Brake informed her that
she hud come to take her to her own
home in B'lffulo, where she could spend
the remainder of her life in comfort.
Then this brave woman, whofhad stared
danger mid death in the face and never
ilinched, broke down and cried like a
child. “Calamity Jane” was originally
from New York, and Ijer maiden name
was Canary. Tlie last man she mar
ried was named Burke, and he was a
drayman in Livingston. She was I let
ter known by her old title of “Calamity
Jane,” however, and when she dies no
doubt all her good deeds will lie record
ed on an imposing granite or marble
tomlistone inscribed with the name of
“Calamity Jane.”
that,” and “Give a fellow a chance to I
* VERY CURIOUS BIRD.
eat before passing your plate back;”
“Stop your laughing and attend to Th. One V iiuur Mark Twain Sprung
I poia the Sciential».
your eating;” “Eat what’s on your
plate before passing it back for any Mark Twain's father was au ornithol
He had several friends who
thing else,”—when possibly the child ogist.
were also enthusiasts on the subject of
has been over-abundantly helped to birds. Whenever any oue of them dis
something he didn’t like and could not covered a ram avis it was the custom
possibly relish. If everything suits to have a consultation. Mark had been
him, well enough, but even then he is a witness of several of these bird In
too supremely selfish to even try to quests and luul noted the delight tbe
make himself agreeable in his own old men took in discussing a new
home; but he is the suave, perfectly found specimen. Oue day It occurred
delightful gentleman on the outside to him to provide the Hannibal orni
thologists with a real circus In tbe
and addresses his wife as dear, sweet form
of a bird. He killed a crow and
heart, pet, etc., terms so foreign to his also a barnyard rooster. Plucklug out
manner of «¡leaking in ills home life the tail feathers of both tbe crow and
that his children smile and nudge tlie rooster, he substituted tlie rooster's
each other, while his wife is disgusted. tall feathers for those of the crow, pro
People say, “what a model lie must be ducing a unique effect. When he had
in his own home and what a happy the specimen nicely prepared, lie went
household it must be,” little realizing to bis father and, handing It to him,
that he is sailing under false colors. said:
Polly has never been used to it, and "Here, father, is a very curious bird
I shot. I thought you would be inter
never can like or appreciate the |s»l- ested lu it.”
ished gentleman abroad and the ugly The old gentleman gazed upon the
dispositioned, surly, cross and nagging specimen with astonishment. That
man at home. I have no patience with evening the ornithologists of Hannibal
them, and would like to know that a were assembled in Mr. Clemens’ par
matrimonial school could lie estab lor. Tbe rare specimen was ¡>ut before
lished to turn out model husbands—a them. The discussion was long and
place where they could lie taught “man learned. The opinions expressed were
various. One thought tbe bird was an
ners at home,” and how to forget them offshoot of tlie bird of paradise fam
selves a little more, for such men are ily; others had equally ridiculous no
supremely selfish, and it is seif first, tions as to its ancestry. But there was
last and all the time. There are plenty one who refused to be swerved by tbe
of model husbands and fathers, but, peculiarity of the bird's tall from tbe
then—there are others, and “these judgment that It was of tbe crow fam
others” are the men Polly wants to ily.
“Why, Just look here,” be said, lift
send to a matrimonial college, and if at
the end of the course they can’t pass ing tlie bird by Its tail feathers, lie
got no further. The feathers came
muster, then doom them to single out. There was a quick closing of a
blessedness, for they are not deserving door. Mr. Clemens started to leave
of a home, and there is no use in mak the room.
ing a family wretched and unhappy by
“Gentlemen," he said, “please excuse
having to live witii the chronic growler. me a few moments. I will see Samuel
first and explain later.”
BRIEF REVIEW,
Sweepin* Back the River»
Some time ago two hulking hoboes
who had Just dismounted from a Cen
tral freight train asked a Yonkers man
for a loan of 10 cents to secure some
food. lie took them to a restaurant
nnd promised to provide them with
work as soon as they liad finished eat
ing. When they reported for work, he
said: "Boys, my cellar's full of water,
and I want you to pump It out. I've
fixed these hand pumps right here on
the sidewalk. Never mind the people.
When they come along and ask ques
tions, Just you say nothing, but pump
till the water's out of the cellar. Keep
cool. Don't burry, but pump, and 1
wl|l pay you well."
Now, a tributary to the Nepi>erhan
river ran through this man’s store cel
lar and out under the side« alk, and tlie
pumps reached down into the river.
The water pumped out by the lioboes
rnti into the sewer and back Into the
Nepperlian, but ns the sidewalk was
tightly flagged the pumpers didn’t
know tlie size of their Job.
The street became jammed with spec
tators. who roared with merriment as
they watched the hoboes. All but the
men ¡it the pumps knew what was up.
When the sun went down, it descended
on the wrath of two Weary Willies,
armed with coupling pins. They hunt
ed, all night for tlieir kind employer,
but he was in New York telling bis
friends.
A Perfect Woman’s Dimensions.
A woman five feet five inches in
Height should weigh 128 pounds. Her
arms extended should measure from tip
to tip of the middle fingers just exactly
her height—five feet five inches. The
One I’assenaer Too Many.
length of her hand should be one-tenth
A good story Is going the rounds of
that; her foot one-seventh; the diam
the offices of the Metropolitan Street
eter
of her chest, one-fifth. From her
Railway company concerning the won
thighs to the ground she should meas
derful presence of mind displayed re
ure just the same as from her thighs to
cently by a new conductor on one of
the top of her head. The knees should
the company’s trolley cars. This par
ticular car was bowling along up
come just exactly midway between the
Broadway recently when It was hailed
thigh and the head. The distance
and boarded by a company Inspector.
from the elbow to the middle finger
The official hurriedly counted the pas
should lie tlie same as from the elbow
sengers In the car ami found that there
to the middle of the chest. From the
were nine. Then he east Ills eye up to
top of the head to the chin should lie
the register and found that there had
just the length of the foot and the same
been only eight fares rung up. lie dis
distance between the chin and the arm
closed bls Identity to the new conduct
pits. A woman of this height should
or and called attention to the diserep
ancy.
measure twenty-four inches around the
Slowly aud painfully the new hand
waist, thirty-four about the bust, If
counted over his passengers and then
measured, under the arms, and forty-
scanned his register.
three inches if measured over them.
“Begorra, an you’re roiglit, sir,” he
Theupper
arm should measure thirteen
said and promptly stopped the ear.
inches, and the wrist six inches. The
“Say,” he demanded, addressing tlie
calf of the leg should measure fourteen
passengers In an authoritative man
and one-half inches, the thigh twenty-
ner, “wan o' youse fellows'll hov to
And now there Is a movement on live Inches and the ankle eight inches.
git off the car-r.”—New York Tinies.
foot in England to find a way of turn
Chocolate.
ing out ideal wives. How the hearts
In South America the retail price for of our sturdy English cousins will leap
A Farm’at the Public Expense.
Cave Dwellers In Dieppe.
the better grades of chocolate averages for joy at this announcement, and some
A few years hence one of the great People who only know the gayer side
about $1 a pound, while in Italy,
France, England and In the United of our own hardy Americans may silent sights at the national capital will be a of Dieppe would be surprised to hear
States the better grades sell at a much ly wish that the good work may lie perfectly appointed farm of 400 acres, of tlie existence of tlie cave dwellers
lower price. In America the ordinary wafted across the seas and taken up on with buildings, orchards, truck-gardens there. One is apt to connect such peo
chocolate of trade sells for about one- our own shores. The idea is this: A and grain fields of every kind. All ple with the knawed bones nnd flint
Implements of prehistoric times. But
third of the price that is charged for It woman’s college of matrimony is to be fruits and vegetables of the United here
are nt Dieppe within a stone's
where It Is produced. The cause of established in Chelsea, England, where States and other countries which ex throw they
of
the casino, and they may be
this, the producers say, is that the the duties of a wife will lieconie the periment shall prove to be capable of
any day about the town selling
original product Is adulterated greatly subject of a two-year»’ course of study. cultivation in this climate will lie seen seen
the shellfish from the rocks outside
before reaching Its final market, a
there. Systems of drainage and irriga their habitations. They have certain
cheaper article than the cocoa bean Tlie curriculum will embrace not only
marked characteristics. one being a pe
constituting the large proportion of IM) the usual branches of housewifery, such tion, model fencing and the most per culiar complexion of their own that
methods
of
gathering
and
storing
fect
as
cooking,
sewing
and
luundry
work,
per cent of the chocolates of commerce.
can be traced largely to a disinclina
The cocoa bean from which chocolate but is intended to deal with physiology grain, fruits and vegetables will lie ex tion on the part of the eave dweller to
Is manufactured is produced In Its fin and medicine as well, so that the stu hibited. There will be a home place of avail
himself of the water that washes
est form in Venezuela, though various dents will receive mental discipline in six acres, where beautiful lawns, pretty so close
to Ills door. Their language
other parts of Central and South Amer connection with manual training. This shrubbery in artistic designs and suita nlso Is peculiar,
but whether It really
ica grow and export large quantities. is all very well, and these model little ble shade trees will give a lesson in the belongs to tlie stone
age no one seems
Two crops of the bean are gathered housewives turned out by this admira beautifying of dwellings and their sur to have discovered. They
have to hold
each year, and the manufacture con
a
license
from
tlie
municipality,
though,
roundings
in
the
country.
This
model
ble
college
will
no
doubt
besought
after
slsts simply In grinding up the beans
which savors of no age but the present.
farm
will
be
established
and
main
far
and
near
by
would-be
benedicts.
If
Into a meal and then adding sugar and
—London Chronicle.
arrowroot, with the necessary flavor, it is necessary these wives chosen from tained by the Department of Agrlcul-
usually vanilla or cinnamon. The mass the rank and file of this matrimonial ture. The preliminary work toward RnKl.iul'a Old Common Field System.
is moistened until it Is In a semifluid college can lie very frugal acting in the laying it out has already begun, With- A “common field" Is quite distinct
state, after which It is run into molds capacity of their own cook and seam in five to seven years the farm will be from n “common.” It is n field be
of the proper shape.
stress as well as doing their own laun complete.
longing to numerous owners. The land
consists of long narrow strips, perhaps
dering and dispensing with the doc
The Captain of an Ocran Liner.
A Historic Punch Bowl.
not more than ten yards wide and run
Nowadays the captain Is the host of tors and their exjiensive visits, for they
Quite possibly the most revered piece ning parallel with one another. Wliat
the sliIp. He Is no longer the gruff, can minister to the ailments of their
rough seadog In a pea Jacket of years own little Hock. Measles, whooping- of silver plate in the United States are the exact rules of cultivation that
gone by. He must observe some of tho cough, croup, chicken-i>ox, hives and Navy is the massive eighteen-pound obtain In Kent today we do not know,
social amenities; lie must talk to the mumps will have no terrors for them, silver punch bowl of the battle-ship In but of old It was usual to have a regu
passengers now and then when the for they will know how to treat all diana, which bears the honorable scarq$ lar rotation, such ns wheat one yenr,
weather Is fine; he must take his scat these childish diseases, and to ward oil of an historic battle. During that fa barley or oats tlie second and fallow
the third. When the crops were har
at table when be may; he must bo a
kind of diplomat also nnd possess wit pneumonia and like ills when their mous blockade and naval battle before vested, each member of the community
and tact nnd a patience sublime; he liege lord is threatened with diseases Sant iago de Cuba the rich piece of table getting his or her share, all could put
ware was struck by a fragment of a in their cattle, which roamed over the
must see that no jenlousles develop and dire aches and pains.
mortar
shell fired from theSocapa bat whole field, feeding on the stubble, etc.
among the passengers. I have been
And this was termed the “right of
told of the very obliging captain who,
As Polly said before, this is ail very tery, which burst in the wardroom pas-' sack.” The "common field” system whb
to please "the lady who asked to be well and may result in happier homes sage of the battleship. A five-pound
gradually done away with by statutes
shown the equator while the ship was
bit of the shell struck the bowl on one
In southern seas, pasted a hnlr across and fewer divorces, but in the same of the stoutest parts of the body, just in the reigns of George III and Wll-
the large end of a spyglass and told the breath I would like to suggest a college where the seal of the State of Indiana Ham IV.—London Express.
lady to look. And the lady through the where ideal husbands could be turned
Train of Culture.
glass declared she could see the equa out. Men, who would leant the art of forms the central part of a beautiful
The chemist Liebig proposed to meas
tor "as plainly as A B C.” One other being pleasant in their own homes and decoration. The seal is still there, but
polite captain I have heard of—one who being courteous, and endeavor to make not as the artist designed it, for it uow ure the standard of civilization by ’.lie
directed an officer on the bridge to "do as good an impression in their own forms a part of a large, irregular inden consumption of soap, a creation which
as the lady wishes,” when the lady re little home-circles as they do on the tation, which, in the estimation of the would put the inhabitants of north
quested that the captain steer tho ship outside. Polly knowsof some men who officers and men of the battleship, en Holland at the head of all civilized na
tions. As n more reliable test Edmund
over to the horizon so she could seo
hances the value of the bowl a thousand About suggested the sale of steel pens,
what the horizon was like.—Captain should have been doomed to walk times.
the socialist Beiiel the frequency of re
through life in single blessedness. They
Jameson tn Collier's.
form meetings, Dr. Bernard the use of
are hardly civil in their own homes
Soapsuds Dessert.
and go sulking and ¡touting about an One of tlie longest and direst senten undergarments, a luxury unknown to
The tribes on the coast of British Co swering every question of their wives ces ever pronounced upon a criminal is the semicivilized trilies of Asia anil
lumbia hold a festival In the autumn, in a short and surly manner as if to say, probably contained in the decision of a South America; Professor Ebers the
the crowning Item of which Is the par “How dare you ask a question? Wom Judge in Naples, who inllicted recently sale of postage stamps. The mileage
of railroads per hundred square miles
taking of a few spoonfuls of a bowl of
en should lie seen and not heard.” ujK>n an Italian adventurer who plead of territory might do In comparing
■oapsuds.
ed guilty to and was convicted of sixty-
They gather in the dingy huts, which They never show any appreciation of four separate forgeries. The Judge countries of equal density of popula
tion.—Exchange.
anything
their
wives
may
do,
never
a
are hung with the staple food—dried
■almon. For light they stick Into the word of encouragement, never otrer to figured up the ¡H-nalties and officially
The C'hlnnmnn*s PrcM.
ground, head downward, a silvery fish assist witii the children when they are sentenced the prisoner to 1088 years of
Those who understand the subject
solitary confinement.
about five Inches long, set fire to the ill, but selfishly turn over and^
id^*mber
~
have to admit that when It comes to
tall, and they have a torch, for the fish blissfully away while she ma; ly^WSsibly
.
In New Hampshire the State Gov the question of rational dress the Chi
burns steadily.
be up and down every hour in the night
ernment pays a bounty on dead grass naman has very much the best of It.
After eating of various unsavory
American clothes are not made for the
foods there comes the great treat. This to minister to the wants of the little hoppers at the rate of $1 a bushel.
performance of much stooping or do
Is a bowl of a frothy, soapy mixture, sufferers. The meal time, in place of
obtained by crushing In a not overclean lieingone of the happiest hours of the The in tense dryness of the Sauth Afri mestic gym nasties, but the Chinaman,
manner the sapollti, or soap berries, day, is so turbulent with the ugliness can air m very destructive of leather. In Ills loose, easy fitting clothes. Is ns
free to stoop. Jump, run or turn hand
■ nd squeezing out the juice. This Is as on his part ttiat one and all are glad
springs ns a small boy In bathing. In
much like soapsuds as ft Is possible to to hurry through with it and get away Hence boots soon wear out.
a Chinese suit of clothes you can lie
conceive. The* natives sip it from from the table. There is no lingering
spoons of black wood, neatly carved, for a last pleasant word, for it is nag,
The animal that first suceur»’’« to down and sleep with the name amount
of comfort that you can stand up and
of which they think a great deal.
nag, nag at the children,—“Don’t do extreme beat is the horse.
walk.
SIGNALING TO MARS.
ODD EFFECTS OF THE FIRST SIGHT
OF A LOCOMOTIVE.
tome ot the People of the South Hid
Behind Trees In 1*113, When the
Iron Horse Went By—The Conatry'a
Earliest llnllroud.
America cannot lay claim to the first
(ocomotive or the first railroad. That
,'rcat honor lies with England. Yet
Yankee genius was not very far behind
her, for, when George Stephenson
launched his first real locomotive, the
Rocket, on the Liverpool and Manches
ter road in 1829, the first spike had been
driven on the Baltimore and Ohio rall-
rond. July 4. 1828, by Charles Carroll
of Carrollton, the last surviving signer
Of tlie Declaration of Independence.
This was the first road started In the
United States, and in 1830 It had reach
ed Ellicott Mills, 13 miles from Balti
more.
But the south can claim the honor of
completing the longest railroad in the
world at that date, being the old
Charleston and Hamburg road, now a
part of the South Carolina and Georgia
system, which was begun In 1830, and
by October, 1833, It had 137 miles of
track In operation. In n letter from
Mr. Samuel C. Clarke of Georgia, a
kinsman of the writer, who attained
the extreme age of 91 years and who
had seen the beglnuiilg aud the comple
tion of this road, he thus gives his ex
perience upon first sight of a locomo
tive:
“One day while going down to
Charleston with a party of gentlemen
to utt end the races as we approached
the city we saw in the distance the
new railroad, finished some 10 or 12
miles out of Charleston. It was built
upon piles, longer or short, according
to the nature of tlie ground. Sometimes
In crossing a ravine the rails were 20
feet from the surface. Our track ran
near tills elevated road, nnd soon a
horrid shriek us from 20 panthers was
beard in the woods. By this time we
were nervous. Elephants and lions
we had heard of, and some of us had
seen them, but wliat monster was this
whose screams we heard? Presently
It camo in sight, flying aloft through
tlie air and breathing fire and smoke,
and our frightened steeds became un
manageable, and in fact I think that
some of our party were as badly fright
ened ns their horses. If any of my
readers are old enough to remember
the Introduction of locomotives and
how they felt at first sight of them,
they will perhaps understand our sen
sation« that day In the pine woods.
“A mile or two farther on we came
to a broken wagon by tlie side of the
road, and near it sat a Georgia cracker
smoking his pipe. On being asked
what was bls trouble he replied, ‘Well,
stranger, I’ve often beam tell of nulli
fication, nnd now I reckon I’ve saw It
for true.’ ”
It Is somewhat amusing now to read
of the superstitious dread with which
tlie inhabitants looked upon the build
ing of these first railroads. Some
thought the smoke of the continual
passing trains would cause a pestilence
or destroy nil the crops along the road.
Others were afraid to ride on tlie cars
for fear of having their breath taken
away, and the people In the cities ob
jected to the railroad being built be
cause they fenred the smoke from the
engines would soil the clothes which
were liung out to dry.
Many are yet living who looked upon
the terrible, screeching iron monster
with awe and trepidation. Mr. Nat Mc
Gee of Ivy, Albemarle, tells a Joke upon
himself that when he heard the train
coming lie jumped from Ills horse and
got behind a tree, where he viewed ft
i'or fear of being run over. Mr. W. T.
Prout, who was taking a wagon load of
produce to Richmond, when he reached
Gordonvillc heard tlie whistle and ter
rible noise of the npproachlng train,
and he and his companions were so
scared that they sprang out, leaped the
fence and ran across the field to n safe
distance, leaving the wagon and team
to Its fate, but when the train appeared
it was only an engine and one coach.
Tlie first roadbeds were formed, as
has been stated, by driving piles In the
ground, upon the top of which were
placed wooden stringers, In which were
cut a groove for the wheels to run.
These were called “wooden railroads”
and at a distance appeared like the ele
vated railroads In the cities of the pres
ent day. The honor of this invention
was contested between John Hartman
of Scottsville, Ya., and John Williams,
an engineer of Ohid, but It did not
prove a bonanza to either, for the
wheels were constantly bouncing out of
the groove, and the piles soon after
gave place to solid dirt embankments,
and strap Iron rails were substituted
for the wooden groove. But the grad
ing was very Imperfect and uneven,
which made riding on one of these
primitive railroads like going over a
corduroy road In a springless wagon,
with the cars bouncing over these
rough rails to the jingling music of the
windows.—Richmond Dispatch.
The Difficulty of DolUB So by Menns
ot l.laht.
The very largest city that this earth
has ever known would be altogether
too small to be visible to a living
dwelling on the planet Mars, even If
that being were eudeavoring to sec it
with a telescope as powerful as the
greatest and most perfect Instrument
In any observatory on this globe.
If the whole extent of Lake Superior
was covered with petroleum aud if that
petroleum wns set on fire, then, I think,
we may admit that an Inhabitant of
Mars who was furnished with a tele
scope as good as that which rerclval
I.owell uses at Flagstaff might be able
to see that something had happened.
But we must not suppose that the
mighty conflagration would appear to
the Martian as a very conspicuous ob
ject. It would, rather, be a very small
feature, but still I think it would not
be lieyond the reach of a practiced ob
server In that planet.
Ou the other hand, if an area the size
of Lake Sufierior on Mars was to lie
flooded with [>etroleum and that petro
leum was to be kindled, we should ex
pect to witness the event from here not
as a great and striking conflagration,
but as a tiny little point of Just dis
cernible light. The disk of Mars Is
not a large object, and the conflagra
tion would not extend over the three
hundredth part of that disk.
It Is sufficient to state these facts to
show that the possibility of signaling
to Mars is entirely beyond the power of
human resources.—Sir Robert S. Ball
tn Independent.
BLUNDERS IN FICTION.
Tlie Queer Mistakes That Are Some
times Made by Authors.
We smile as we read and pass swiftly
by the stories of maidens that wander
in "lonel/ woods” at unearthly hours
of night, always clad In "a soft, white
clinging gown.” Now, every girl knows
that the average maiden Is too much
afraid of tramps and snakes to wander
In "lonely woods.” The weather, too,
appeal's to perplex our novelists, for
not Infrequently they begin a chap
ter at dawn, there are a few mo
ments' conversation, and then the “sun
sets in lurid bunks behind the distant
empurpled mountains.”
1 am reminded at the outset of an
English story written by an author of
repute where the heroine In one scene
was made on one page to stoop down
and tie her shoestring, while three
pages farther on, directly following. It
was said of tlie same girl that she had
remained barefooted the entire day. In
another story a blind woman is made
to view tlie hero through spectacles be
fore the tale is ended.
In a French novel—and we generally
consider French such literary masters
—a heroine is clearly made to go direct
from her bed to the breakfast table,
out shopping, to an afternoon tea and
to dinner in her robe de nuit! Cousins
suddenly transformed Into brothers
without a moment's warning are nu-
merous in this detective's library. Thus
one Is amused to And the most mar
velous mistakes In books which we
think we have carefully read.—Modern
Culture.
Golf In the Old Days.
Centuries back golf was a pastime of
the royal family, though then usually
played lu Scotland. The Stuart family
was very fond of the game, and the
first English club was established at
Blackheath In 1008 by James I. Ills
eldest son, Henry, frequently played
and on one occasion nearly struck by
accident Ills tutor with a club, where
upon he coolly remarked, “Had I done
so I had but paid my debts.” Charles
I wns playing golf when he received
the news of the Irish rebellion, James,
duke of York, afterward James II, was
another ardent player. Golf is fre-
quently mentioncd in ancient Scottish
records and In the fifteenth century
was prohibited because It interfered
with the practice of archery. Strutt
considered it the most ancient game at
ball requiring a bat.—London Chron
icle.
The Sqnlrrel Hnnter’s Weapon.
The cream of squirrel hunting is en
joyed by the man who uses a light rifle
of small caliber and medium power.
The “.22 long" ns uow turned out by
our leading makers Is an excellent
weapon—in fact, the best In the world
for the purpose. Though not of suffi
cient range to lie dangerous to people
or stock at a distance. It throws lead
with surprising accuracy to the tops of
the tallest trees. Good rifle shots al
ways alm for the squirrel's head both
to add to the difficulty of the sport and
to avoid sjioilliig meat. And be It
known that n squirrel's bead at a range
of 40 or 50 yards is no easy mark. If
a reader doqbts this, let him go to the
woods for a day, keep all empty shells,
and at the end of the day let him try
to make the dead squirrels and the
empty shells tally. —E. W. Sandys In
Outing.
Knrly Rlrds.
Do Carpets Shorten Life!
Just think what a horrible receptacle
of unclean things the carpet is in the
rich English or French bouse! Where
there are carpets, people should on en
tering be given slippers, as In the Neth
erlands or the footbath, as at a Turk
ish mosque. Making servants sweep
carpets Is another proof that evil Is
wrought for want of thought. Flou-
rens attributed the prevalence of lung
and throat diseases in England to car
peted rooms. London Truth.
comet, of the Pa.t Centwry.
The green finch Is the enrllest riser.
It pipes as early ns hnlf past 1 In the
morning. The blnckcap begins nt half
past 2. It is nearly 4 o'clock before
the blackbird appears. It Is heard half
an hour before the thrush, and the
chirp of the robin begins about the
same length of time before that of the
wren. The house sparrow and the tom
tit take the last stage of the list.
Advantages of Port Cities.
The revenue New York derives from
the rental of piers to the Cunard, the
White Star, the American, the Atlantic
Transport, the Freuch, the Leyland,
the National and other lines Is nearly
111,000.000 annually. The White Star
line pays the largest rental, $217,000;
the Cunard line Is next with $120,000
and the American line third with $88.
400.—Alnslee's.
During the nineteenth century 235
new comets were discovered as against
C2 In the eighteenth century. The
nineteenth century also beheld a great
er number of large and brilliant com
ets than did Its predecessor. The finest
of these were the comets of 1811, 1843,
1858, 1881 and 1882. In the year 1800
Twice ■■ Black.
only one periodical comet was known, Sam Cole—Miss Yallerby done treat
Halley’s. Now many are known, of me scan'lous. She done tole me yes-
which at least 17 have been seen at tld’y dat I was black as de ace of
more than one return to perihelion.
spades.
Jim Crow—Dat’s on’y hnlf as bad as
No Difficulty.
what she sez ’bout me. She tole me I
Phillips Brooks once gave a new ver was black as de deuce.—Catholic
sion of the Jonah story to a wondering Standard and Times.
skeptic, who said he doubted whether
a whale's throat was large enough to
The penal code of the Chinese em
swallow Jonah. "There was no diffi pire Is at least 2,000 years old, and un
culty.” said the bishop; "Jonah was one der Its provisions about 12,000 persons
of the minor prophets.”
■re annually executed.
CHOICE MISCELLANY
Wise Men nevereed.
The independence Star recount« that,
a man down there was nearly stung byj
a scorpion live Inches long and says the
uian was very lucky to escape. ‘ as the,
sting of a scorpion is certain death.'8
Aud we note the item as another in
stance of the reversal of a university
professor. Kansas seems to sit up
nights watching for chances to reverse
her university professors. Geologist
Hayward said there was no gold In the
western shales, and Colonel Fred Close
reversed him by showing there would
be lots of gold there after it had been
discovered. Naturalist Dyche said the
Belgian hare and the jack rabbit
wouldn’t cross, and a state senator re
versed him by offering an appropria
tion bill to pay for the crossing of the
two animals.
Chancellor Snow said that the scor
pion's deadly sting was mostly a myth
and that even in the tropical coun
tries It did little harm, aud now the
chancellor Is reversed by the Independ
ence paper. Aud this reminds us of an
account written by a Kansas editor
about the Gila monster, an ugly species
of lizard found only along the Gila
river. The editor had been down there,
and the natives had tilled him full of
stories about the deadly nature of con
tact with this creature. "The mon
ster." he said, “differs from every oth
er known animal iu the world, because
It does not need to bite or sting, but
gives instant death with a breath from
Its mouth.” Yet Chancellor Snow got
one of these monsters and kept it alive
around the university for a year or
more, and the scholars used to pat it on
the head and call It “Mike.”—Kansas
City Journal.
Noises of the Street.
“Wards for nervous diseases In the
city hospitals are far more crowded in
summer than in winter,” said an emi
nent specialist, “and there is no deny
ing the fact that apparently unavoida
ble street noises are responsible for it.
With open windows and doors and ev
erybody In a more or less Irritable and
debilitated condition from tlie heat the
ordinary street noises prevent sleep
nnd wreck the nerves. I refer now to
such simple things as tlie shouting of
children at play, Irrepressible peddlers
and hand organs. An Englsli writer
has said tlint the organ grinders of
London have done more in the last 20
years to detract from the quality and
quantity of the higher mental work of
tlie nation than any two or three col
leges have effected to Increase it. I
believe the same tiling Is true of Phila
delphia. The nearness of large fac
tories or machine simps, to the Institu
tions of learning costs thousands of
dollars yearly In wasted and Impeded
effort.”—Philadelphia Times.
Development of tlie Roof Garden.
The roof garden owes Its existence to
American Ingenuity. There Is nothing
quite like it in Europe, nnd neither
London nor Paris Is abreast of New
York in this most delightful of ninuse-
ment places, I inproved Iron and steel
construction ns known in this country
has not been Introduced abroad, and
until it Is the danger of fire In the
great cities with the old fashioned
buildings will forbid the construction
of roof gardens. Tlie roof garden has
thrived and developed In New York,
modifying its character to suit the va
riable conditions which have sprung
up of climate and of patronage. It has
at last become a feature of metropoli
tan life almost indispensable to those
who stay in town during the heated
term. It is doing much, moreover, to
reconcile many persons with life In the
city In summer, although hitherto they
have found the seashore or the moun
tains a necessity.—Leslie's Weekly.
Three Extra Clean Cities.
No loose paper In the future is to be
thrown on the streets of Moline. Ills.,
for Chief of Police Klttllsen lias de
clared war against all offenders. Be
sides this, store sweepings are not to
be swept on to tlie sidewalk nor ice
washed on the streets nor water from
the scrubbing of saloons or stores to be
swept across the sidewalk nor garbage
or offensive matter to be placed on the
streets nor kitchen refuse to be placed
elsewhere than In galvanized Iron cans
holding between three and ten gallons
under a penalty of from $3 to $100.
Mayor Barr of Joliet, Ills., has Insti
tuted a similar campaign In his city.
President Grove of the Cleaner Dallas
league of Dallas lias warned tho inhab
itants of bis town that the ordinances
covering the same Items as mentioned
above will be strictly enforced.—Mu
nicipal Journal and Enquirer.
Tlie Circus In Vermont.
Some people who have come down
from a former generation during the
circus-tour are recalling the day of
Arcadian simplicity when Vermont's
law forbade the circus to come within
the state limits, and It was only some
twoscore years ago the prohibition was
withdrawn Circuses skirted all the
borders, to which Vermonters came
down and crossed over luto New York,
New Hampshire aud Massachusetts to
see the feats of ground aud lofty tum
bling. nnd finally the virtue und wis
dom relented and admitted the show
to the tour of the state.—Montpelier
(Vt.) Journal.
A Liberal Minded Tribute.
“There is oue thing that I admire
about germs.” said the professor, win
has no patience with people who doub
scientific discoveries.
“I didn't know they had any praise
worthy traits whatever.”
"They have at least oue. They are
Industrious and take things ns they
find them. They settle down to their
business of making trouble and don't
waste time In debates concerning any
human being theory.” — Washington
Star.
Well Concealed.
“What was the matter with Proud-
foot that he made such a fool of him
self last night?”
"Oh. somebody had offended him un
wittingly, and he was standing on his
dignity."
"Oh, was he? 1 wondered what bad
become ot It’*-___________
The emblem of the New York City
History dub Is the Industrious little
heaver, typical of the sturdy ancestors,
■urrounded by a circle. This beaver
was part of the ancient seal of New
Amsterdam.