(Copyright, 1W0,
Th. Century ^mpany.J
staid where they were these points
would be gained anyhow.
"They can learn to read and write
here." she said, "and I don’t believe
they'll make much use of that. I’m
not a fool, but 1 never cared about
books, and they, neither of them uor
both together, have as much braius as
1 have. I don’t know how it comes.
You know what their father was"—I
remember how oddly her voice broke
there and bow It returned to its usual
metallic vibrations as she went on—
“but there they are, and such as they
are I think they will be happier and
stand higher here than anywhere else.
As for me. I have to work hard, but
I’d have to do that anyway, and I’d
rather do it where I'm looked up to.
It will be rather a good thing, Ade
line, If you will go up there for a week
or two. It will strengthen me In that
part of the county.”
Politics is still eminently respecta
ble In Tennessee, and my brother,
whom I was visitlug, was a candidate
for a congressional nomination. He
was encouraging me to make a visit to
some kinsfolk of ours. He put forth
motives of policy, but the truth was he
was much attached to Cousin Betsey
Blunt, whom he looked upou with pride
as a particularly able woman, and he
longed to have me pay her the compli
ment of a visit. Mrs. Blunt had been
left a widow at the close of the war,
with two little children and no other
dependence than a rough farm In a
rougher country some 25 miles “back”
from Strnthboro.
She had taken the situation gallantly,
and now her children were both grown
and her hard days past. One, the
daughter, was married and had gone to
Texas, but the other, the younger, Jim
my, was still with her.
I had been at her bouse years before
when I was a little girl and still re
membered It as a .sort of place of en
chautment, so deeply and delightfully
had its remoteness and primitiveness
Impressed me. I was pleased enough
at the prospect of going there again.
One of those queer little railroads that
seem to wander so amiably and alm
in ii miylity nice young taily,’
lessly about the rural districts of the Mix« Hilly mini
Jimmy »lowly.
south passed within eight miles of the
No,” site continued In answer to my
place.
mother again, "I can live here as con
It was arranged that nt this point tented as I’ll ever be. 1 don’t s’pose
Jimmy should meet me. Wlien 1 got you know anything about what It Is to
off the train, I found myself on a moss me that my husband's dead”—her
grown platform In the midst of a piet- toues were firm enough now—"and as
ty woodland. While the conductor was for my children, they are good chil
courteously keeping his train waiting dren if they ain’t very gifted, and 1’11
to inquire my situation a tall .voting leave ’em fixed in a way that suits ’em
man lit a “butternut” Jean suit rode well. I've thought It all out.”
out of the woods leading a saddled
In front of the house was a board
horse behind him. He lifted bls shape fence—it took the place of a decaying
less, dun colored soft hat to me, and paling, I remembered—and at its gate
the conductor, expressing n confidence as we rede up stood Cousin Betsey.
thnt I was now “all right,” returned to She was always a little woman, and
the care of his dozen other passengers. the years seemed to be making her
It was not hard when I gave my mind smaller. She was thin and dark, with
to it to recognize in the young man the straight features, black hair still un
Jimmy of old. Ills pretty brown eyes streaked with gray and the palest and
had not changed—indeed you could see keenest of light blue eyes—aItogether
at a first glance that they looked Just .a noticeable figure. Site met me witli
as they did when he was a baby ami familiar, undemonstrative kindliness,
his brown curls bad a familiar "set" on as if I were still the child site bad
his head. They were oddly long to known. I think her manner would have
modern eyes—I insist that modernness been exactly the same if site had never
Is a matter of place ns well as of time- seen me at all. It was not as an indi
bill they were very becoming to his vidual she thought of me, but as tl.e
regular, nice, simple face. It was not a ■laughter and the granddaughter of
strong face. When I saw Cousin Bet those who belonged to the past. In
sey, I see mail to find its weakness ex my visits south I always find a great
plained, though not by the law of he restfulness in this general predomi
redity.
nance of background in what I may
The extra horse carried a sidesaddle ■ all my pictorial effects.
The house was Just as 1 had seen It
and was Intended for me. Jimmy had
even brought a brown cotton riding last. 1 remembered the carpet In Cous
skirt with him. I untied the various in Betsey’s room, a striped wool car
secret strings about my dress skirt, put pet woven on a hand loom, and 1 was
on the cotton outfit and mounted. It pleased to find 1 still admired It. The
was In the autumn, nnd the ride same andirons 1 had left there sustain
through the mellow radiance of the ed the smoldering log In the fireplace;
woods and fields was a dreamy de the same simple minded old colored
light. Jimmy had the true backwoods prints of properly curled children and
capacity for silence. It is akin to an military and political heroes were on
Indian’s and a tiling to be much appre the walls; the “duck legged” chair—It
ciated after the laborious twaddle of had sustained a surgical operation ’
villagers In whom the sense of social still stood in Its old corner. Dotbtless
responsibilities is painfully develop it was a favorite yet with the small
ing. After the Inevitable exchange of mistress, who Inttl had it cut down for
Inquiries as to the health of all our her convenience In nursing her chil
tribe conversation was dismissed as an dren.
1 flew to see If even a certain speck
Idle and exhaustive exercise.
I was too much absorbed in other en in one of the window panes had surviv
joyment to choose that time for study ed the years and wits tilled with union
ing my old playmate, and I had almost soning wonder nnd delight on finding
forgotten that itis powers of communi It. It had been oue of those queer
cation were greater than liis horse’s, treasures children develop out of the
when, as we came to the top of the most untoward materials, and I had
hill, he pointed to a log house beyond called It "my buzzard,” heaven only
and below, starting, It seemed, out of knows why.
“Yes. here It Is,” I called out to Cous
the woods and Into a big, Irregular, un
in Betsey—"the buzzard Jimmy nnd I
kempt field, and said:
“There’s a mighty nice girl lives in quarreled about once. 1 said It was
mine, and he said It was bls, and you
that place.”
I could do nothing less than show an spanked him nnd told me 1 was tlie
Interest in a person so directly and im one who deserved the whipping, but as
pressively brought to my attention. you couldn’t give it to me you’d have
Jimmy pursued the theme with simple to stop the fuss by punishing him.”
“It must have been Mary,” said
pleasure.
* '
“Her fambly ain’t much,” he snid. Cousin Betsey, with grim humor. "Jim
“Her father’s only a renter, and bis my never would have stood up to It if
father was a squatter, but that girl is It had been his. Jimmy Is a queer son
an uncomtnon girl. She is a well be for me to have. Most of Ills spankings
haved girl, nnd she’s that healthy and were for not sticking up for himself.
strong there’s uotliin she ain’t equal to. The; don't seem to have done him
She’s got n masterful bead too. Her much good. He’s as soft and helpless
ns men think women ought to be. I
name’s Ellen Tod.”
don't know where he'd be if I'd ’a' been
“Is she pretty?”
“Yes, ma’am, I suppose site Is," Jim that kind."
I reflected to myself that in all prob
my responded dispassionately. "She’s
so counted, but her looks—her looks,” ability he nt least would have been a
be repeated, seeking a fitting conclu more assertive person, the law of ac
sion, “it’s not them I’m thinkin about.” tion and reaction appearing with pecul
My less sternly disciplined mind was iar obviousness in the relations of par
already wandering from Ellen Tod to ents nnd children.
"But,” Cousin Betsey proceeded re
the loveliness nround me—the blending
colors, soft floatiug leaves and blue flectively. “everything being ns it Is, It
vistas—and I let ths talk drop. There don't make so very much difference
would be plenty of time for canvassing about Jimmy. Sometimes I worry
the probabilities of n mesallinnce with about Mary. Site's gone off. nnd some
times it seems to me ns if 1 might have
the house of Tod.
A mile or two more brought us to done better by her—might have had
the house In which Jimmy was born, her mingle more with other folks and
the ambitious house Henry Blunt had see more- If I'd known how It was go
speut his substance building for Ills ing to be, but 1 didn’t, aud what she Is
bride while sanguine In Ills belief in lays with her husband now anyhow.*
the future of the country and In Ills But for Jimmy, I want hint to marry a
own. The piteous vanity of human girl that lives near by. She’ll have
foresight was emphasized when lie land of her own. and I've made this
was killed in battle a few years after farm a good one. I haven't worked
ward, and the modest tide of sectional out my land like the men around here,
growth and prosperity of later times and they’ll get on. Jimmy won’t be as
had through all Its variations left this likely to throw away what he’s got In
part of the county an unaffected Island his hand ns many a boy that shows off
In the midst of It. Yet the “big house’' better."
"Is lie In love with the girl?” 1 asked,
bad not been altogether a bad Invest
seating
myself for nn interesting Inter
ment. It had conferred a certain dis
tinction on Its Inhabitants; through view In the duck legged chair.
Cousin Betsey reached for her knit
their hard times It had served as a
ting nnd wont through some elnltorate
substantial testimony to the dignity of
adjustments of needles before she said:
their past, nnd ns such Cousin Betsey
"I reckon he’ll be In love enough to
had prized It. I remember as a child
do. He ain’t egznctly an idiot, and the
having heard my mother try to per
girl Is a nice girl and a pretty girl, nnd
suade her to selj out and come else she likes him. I've seen tlint plain
where where there would be a chance enough, anti tlint Is all I was studying
for her to educate her children, and as about. Jimmy would never have stir
I recalled her replies while we were enough about him to do his own court
riding through the primeval woods ing tiny how, nnd he'll be pleased enough
which formed a rude park In front of to have a girl like Mllly (Illes make up
the house both their wisdom and Its to him.”
The next that I Itenrd about Jimmy's
oddly antiquated quality struck me.
She said that her children were not mntrlmonial prospects was from him
very “smart,” that they were not going self. lie «ns going for a load of wood
to make any groat figure In the world, one morning, nnd I went with him,
that the most education could do for sometimes sitting behind the oxen,
them would tie to make Utem as good sometimes walking with him behind
as other people, to keep them from be them or tanking little excursions Into
ing looked down upon, and that if they tlie wood« after late ferns In sheltered
aooks or for seductive bunches of wild
grapes.
Jimmy was ns pleasant a companion
on such a trip as the oxen themselves—
Indeed he was better, as good as a dog.
After be had loaded his wagon be sat
down ou a l*>g to rest, gazing benevo
lently upon me us I grubbed about for
hickory nuts. 1 gave up the bunt and
sat dowu too. Near by the oxen, loose
from the wagon, were taking what
pleasure they could under the trying
though poetically vauuted condition of
a dual unity.
“Cousin Betsey Is talklug of having
Mllly Giles come over to make a visit
while I am here,” I said. "Do you
think she'll come? Do you like her?"
“Miss Mllly Is a mighty nice young
lady," said Jimmy slowly, "She Is
pretty, and she comes of very good
fambly. But." Jimmy proceed«*. hew
ing Ills «'ay through these unfamiliar
paths of expression with obvious dltfl
culty. "1 don't believe maw means
sure enough to ask her avlaltln while
you’re here.
Miss Mllly Is wearln.
Site talks a heap sometimes, aud site
don’t have no trouble bearln herself In
company, but still she’s wearln, nnd
ma«’ site thinks so too. I’m mighty
nigh sure maw wouldn’t have her
come when you fs here.”
“What is It makes her wearing?” I
persisted. "Tell me ho«-."
Jimmy seemed to sink a shaft Into
Ills consciousness and «’alt for returns.
“It’s somethin like trylu to drink
the foam ou the lop of the milk bucket
-as If you might start drinkin when It
«•as foam clean to the bottom."
“Cottsiu Betsey wants you to marry
her.” I stated In brutal young fashion.
Jimmy took off his lint, scratched bls
curly bead and knitted his faint brow’s
as lie dug his heel into the mold aud
gazed fixedly on the operation. "Yes-
sum," lie said; "yessum. I’m afraid she
does.”
“Well, will you?"
Jimmy looked nt me as one of the
oxen might if I had provided hint.
“You 'member that girl I told you
about the first day you come? I show
ed you where she lived? Miss Ellen
Tod? Well,” Jimmy concluded, seem
ing to feel that he was submitting a
problem as hopeless as 1 «its likely to
hear. "I want to marry that girl.”
"Oil. you are In love with her, are
you?"
"N'o'm; 1 can’t say as I am,” Jimmy
replied judicially, although the color
crept up bls fnce. “I ain’t Influenced
by thnt. Miss Ellen’s a good match.”
“Mllly Giles Is a good match, too.
Isn’t she?” 1 said when I had recovered
from tills blow to my romanticism.
“Miss Mllly ain’t «-hat I’d call a good
match.” Jimmy again drew down his
faint, blond brows in tlie exertion of
cerebration and expression. “Site's got
some prop’ty, but prop'ty ain't every
thing. Miss Mllly’s a nice young lady,
but she alu't no worker, and site ain’t
no head for management, and then
site's wearln. Where's tlie good of all
that there land If’— Jimmy tlnished
his appeal by implication, fixing bls
limpid eyes upou me.
"Most people would tliluk Ellen Tod
a bad match.”
“That’s narrow mindedness," Jimmy
declared with uncommon decision.
“Miss Ellen would make a splendid
wife. If that ain’t belu a good match”—
He again came to a full and impressive
stop.
"But would Cousin Betsey think so?
Does site know you cure about—that
you want to marry her?”
Jimmy mopped Ills brow with bis
sleeve.
“No’tn; no’m,” be said. “And for the
Lord’s sake don’t say nothin. I don’t
know what to do. Maw’s terrible mas
terful, but—but—Miss Ellen, site’s
mighty patient, but she’s powerful sot
too.” And with this pregnant sugges
tion of his own helplessness bet«’een
antagonistic forces the discussion con
cluded, and I began to try to repair the
damage 1 bad done his cheerfulness by
asking about his oxen.______
A Simple, B«t«hl«>l Maid.
POWER OF IMAGINATION.
SOME CURIOUS CHURCHES.
A Druitul*«'« Story of Itow It Workel
In One ( H»e.
Cong resat tons Whirl» Meet In Inn«.
Windmill« and Uonta.
"The power of Imagination.” said a
New York druggist, “Is past compre
hension. Not long since a domestic in
the employ of u prominent family
came Into tin* store In great lmBte with
a prescription which called for two
grains of morphine In two ounces of
aqua pura that Is. distilled «'ater—the
accompanying direction reading, ‘A
teaspoonful every hour until the pain
is allayed.' The patient for whom it
was Intended was the head of the fam
ily. who was suffering from a severe at
tack of nervous neuralgia.
"Now, it so happened that the fam
ily physician «'Ito had written tlie pre
scription was behind the counter when
tlie messenger arrived, haviug dropped
in, as was his wont, on the «’ay to his
office. While I was putting up the pre
scription we chatted aud laughed and
Joked and passed the time of day as
only professional men are capable of
doing. 1 tilled the bottle, corked ft
carefully and labeled It properly, and
when the retreating form of the do
mestic bud disappeared out of the
store door returned to my companion
able physician visitor. As I did so I
saw to my amazement the t«’o grains
of morphine reposing upon tlie pre
scription scales.
"'Doctor,' 1 ejaculated, 'I've given
tlint girl nothing but distilled «’ater.
The morphine is here; look at it. What
shall I do?'
" 'Do?' he replied, with admirable
sang froid. 'Do? Why, nothing at all.
I'll wager you that the aqua pura will
work as well without the opiate as
with it.’
“ 'Agreed,' said 1. And do you kno«',”
concluded the pharmacist, “tlie doctor
«its right, and the patient with the
nervous neuralgia—un exceptionally In
telligent and college bred man—was
sleeping as peacefully as a babe after
the second dose of the 'mixture.'
Faith Is everything where medicine Is
concerned.”—Exchange.
A public bouse is oue of the last
places one «'ould expect to be used as
a place of worship. The Inhabitants
of Twyford, a village near Winchester,
would not consider this at all a nov
elty. because for several years past
the Plmenlx inn has been used Sunday
for religious purposes. The room In
which the religious services are held
will comfortably hold about200people
nnd opens at the back on to a pretty
tea garden. The most remarkable fea
ture of the services Is that they are of
ten conducted while the public bouse
Is open for business purposes, and the
customers can Join in the singing if
they are so disposed.
There are two or three Instances of
pul die houses which have been con
verted Into churches, and there are
also two or three theaters which are
now places of worship. Tlie Feu dis
trict possesses a canalboat church.
There are a large number of people
who live some distance away from any
church, and the canalboat church trav
els from place to place for the benefit
of such folk. The boat will seat a
congregation of about 100.
Tlie old chapel of ease at Tunbridge
Wells has a unique situation. It stands
In two counties and three parishes.
When tlie clergyman leaves tlie vestry,
he comes out of the parish of Frant of
Sussex. If he Is going to officiate at
tlie altar, he walks Into tlie parish of
Tunbridge. In Kent. If. ou the other
band, lie is going to preach tlie sermon,
he walks from tlie parisli of Frant to
the parish of Speldhurst on his way to
the pulpit.
Tlie chapel at Milton Bryant Is situ
ated In tlie village pond. Tlie reason
for tlie selection of this strange site
was because no landowner would
«’ould grant any other position.
The "windmill" church near Relgato
is familiar to London cyclists. Not so
familiar Is the underground church nt
Brighton. Owing to some "ancient
lights" difficulty, the authorities could
not "build up.” and ns the site was a
good one they decided to "build dowq.”
—London Mail.
The Fata XIorKann.
The fata morgana is a singular aerial
phenomenon nkin to the mirage. It is
seen In many parts of tlie world, but
most frequently nnd In greatest per
fection nt the strait of Messina, be
tween Sicily nnd Italy. So many con
ditions must coincide, however, that
even then1 it Is of comparatively rare
occurrence. To allow of Its production
the sun must lie nt au angle of 45 de
grees with the water, botli sky and sea
must be calm, and the tidal current suf
ficiently strong to cause the water In
the center to rise higher than on the
edges of tlie strait. When these condi
tions are fully met. the observer on the
heights of Calabria, looking toward
Messina, will behold a series of rapidly
changing pictures, sometimes of most
exquisite beauty.
Castles, colonnades, successions of
leautlful arches, palaces, cities, with
louses and streets and church domes,
mountains, forests, grottoes, will ap
pear and vanish, to be succeeded per
haps by fleets of shifts, sometimes
placidly sailing over the deep, some
times inverted, while a halo like a
rainbow surrounds every Image. It Is
supposed that the Images are due to
the Irregular refractive powers of the
different layers of air above the sea,
wliicli magnify, repeat and distort the
objects on the Sicilian shore beyond,
hut to the Italians these singular ap
pearances are the castles of the Prin
cess Morgana, and the view of them Is
supposed to bring good fortune to the
beholder.
Skeleton In the Closet.
The original of the singular saying,
"A skeleton In the closet,” which Is
found In almost every language in Eu
rope, Is found In one of those curious
collections of stories which the monks
of the middle ages were fond of mak
ing both for their own amusement and
for tlie Instruction of youth. In one of
these collections, compiled by an un
known hand about the middle of the
tenth century, there is a story of a
wealthy lady who. having a secret
grief, confided It to a friend who was
apparently a perfectly happy woman.
She was the wife of a nobleman who
lived in his castle In the south of
France. She and her husband were
outwardly on the most loving terms.
Not a care cloud seemed to cast a
shadow on her path.
After hearing the story of her afflict
ed friend the noble Indy .took her by
the hnnd nnd led her to a secret cham
ber adjoining her bedroom, there open
ed the door of a closet and exposed a
skeleton.
"Know, my friend.” she
said, "no one Is happy. Every day I
am forced by my husband to kiss this
grinning death head, which Is thnt of a
gentleman who was my husband’s ri
val and whom I would have married
had not my parents willed otherwise.”
“I am glad your name Is Mary,” said
Mr. Slowcoach to bls sweetheart,
whom lie had been courting for several
yea rs.
"Why so?”
“Because 1 «'as reading today and
cantc across a line which said, ‘Mary is
tlie sweetest name that woman ever
I tore.' ”
"Thnt Is poetically expressed. I’ve
heard my father say It to my mother,
whose name Is Mary. It is from some
poet. Isn’t It?”
"I believe so.”
“But I have also beard my father say
that there was even a sweeter name
than Mary.”
“I think he must have been mistak
en,” said the lover as he tenderly press
ed bls sweetheart's hand.
"No; I do not think be was mis
taken.”
"What was the other name?”
A beautiful blush suffused the charm
ing maiden's cheek, the silken lashes
fell nnd veiled the lovely eyes, nnd In a
Uta nnmpi.
tone ns soft as the whisperings of an
They were newly married and were
.Eollnn harp she murmured:
calling upon one of the friends of the
"Wife.”
bride who had been particularly pleas
The cards are out—London Answers. ant upon tJie occasion of their wedding.
The bridegroom, npropos of nothing,
Unclaimed Moneys.
began to talk about phrenology and
Nearly every bank of old establish told how his «-ife had discovered t«'o
ment has on deposit sums of unclaimed very prominent bumps on the back of
money. The aggregate of all these his head. He was proud of them. So
sums, if It could be told, would aston was she, nnd site passed him around
ish the world. These moneys In the thnt the host nnd hostess might feel
Bank of England are estimated vari the bumps nnd know of their exist
ously. some placing the aggregate ence. Then she explained:
amount at less than $500,000 and some
"My book on phrenology snys thnt
nt many times thnt sum. In the Bank they ntenn good memory nnd generos
of Englnnd. ns In all banks In this ity.”
country and In Englnnd, the total
It wns evident that she was proud of
amount Is made up of small sums. Ac the facts, nnd so wns lie. But the host,
cording to law. the Bank of England being of nn Inquiring turn of mind,
should give public access to the list of wished to satisfy himself, so he got
tucli lost moneys, whereas it never does down a phrenological work from one
anything of the sort. When challenged, of his library shelves nnd nfter much
it Invites legal action, but no one cares labor found the bumps on the chart.
for a legnl contest with the Bank of Turning to the notes, he rend, seriously
Englnnd. so the question never Is fnced. nt first, then unsteadily. The bride be
How do these unclaimed moneys nc- came suspicious, but she wns game nnd
cumulate? Largely through the omis said:
sion of stockholders to claim dividends
"Read It out loud. Please do!" And
and through the fact that many people the host rend:
die without leaving behind them a
"These bumps tire most frequently
strict account of their Investments.
found on ents and monkeys.”
Other topics consumed the remainder
The Sicilian woman Is generally Illit of the visit, which was brief.—New
erate and Is proud of being so. In na York Sun.
tive parlance such n one “sees with
two eyes only.” Those who can read
Relics of the Roman occupation lit
are snld to see with four eyes.
the shape of Roman tiles nnd earthen
There Is a patch of ground In Colora
do. six miles by three, which yields
>20.000,000 worth of gold a year nnd
will not be work»d out for a century.
ware have been discovered, ns well as
two skeletons. In the course of exca
vations nt Dover. England. In an
cient times this ground formed the
estuary of the Dour riv«r.
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tire nutrition from woolen fabrics, fur,
T bl . main 190. 2« HAN FRANCISCO.
horsehair, feathers, tanned leather and
the like anil apparently without ever a
SAM MARTIN
CHAS CAMM
desire to "wet their whistles” by any
For 23 years with
For 3 years with
thing of a Juicy nature. Any small, C. E. VVbitury & Co.
C. E. Whitney & Co.
silvery winged moth that Is seen flit
ting about the house Is regarded as a
NEW COMMISSION HOOSE
“clothes moth,” but every one killed is
not an enemy, for there are a number
of moths of similar size and appearance
that come from outdoors and have been
occupied as grubs In destroying green
Davis st., San Franctaco.
leaves. It is a common error to sup
pose that It Is tlie clothes moth that
General Commission and
doos the mischief, though by destroy
Produce.
ing the moth we prevent the laying of
Specialty,
Butter,
Eggs and Cheese.
Innumerable eggs from which come the
consuming larva*, whose cutting Jaws
Your consignments solicited.
would be actively and incessantly em
ployed In mutilating choice fabrics and
valuable furs. These caterpillars aro
rarely seen by the housewife becauso
their first care on leaving the egg Is to
disguise or hide themselves.
The clothes moth proper has yellow
ish gray « Ings, with three or four In
definite brownish spots upon them, nnd
In consequence of Its marked prefer
USING HIS WITS.
ence for furs It Is known to science ns
All the world knows that coffee in
Show Init How People Moy tie <»nl«le«l
Tinea pelllonella.—Good Words.
excessive use is injurious. And yet
by Inference.
the cotl'e«* lover cannot stand taste
"You see." said the man with the
A Common Freak.
less cereals. There has to this time
bulging forehead and prominent nose,
Iwen no happy medium lietween
When 1*. T. Barnum was In the mu
Café Bland tills the void with the
"if people would only be guided more seum business in New York, one of
by Inference it would save lots of use Ills most Jovial friends was Gaylord
liest elements of Isith. ft is richer
than straight coffee, and many will
less trouble."
"lark, a famous litterateur in the days
not Is* easily convinced that it is
"I don’t tiuderstund you,” said the of our fathers. They «ere a «ell
not all coffee. But we guurant«*e
man who laid been tickling a pimple on matched pair of practical Jokers. One
that Café Bland contains less than
Ills chili.
lay «’hen Mr. Clark dropped in at the
fifty per cent coffee, which is scien
“Why. for instance, 1 passed a frozen museum, as was his custom, Mr. Bar
tifically blended with nutritious
pond one « Inter day. On tlie ice I saw num, apparently much excited, hurried
fruits and grains, thus not only
a pair of skates, a boy's cap and a mit Ills friend Into the private office and
displacing over fifty per cent of the
ealiein, but neutralizing that which
ten. out in tlie middle of tlie pond the said: "Gaylord, I was about to send for
remains and still retaining tlie rich
Ice «its broken. Did I Jump to the you. 1 want your advice. 1 have a
coffee flavor. To those who suffer
conclusion thnt a l«>y had been drown ; banco to purchase the most wonder-
«ith tlie lieart, to dyspeptics and
ed and raise a great hullabaloo about ltd of all zoological freaks. It's at first
to nervous people ('tifo Bland is
It?"
a perfect fish, then it changes to a
ei-peeiall y recoin mended as a health
"Of course you did, or else you ought four legged laud animal, then It climbs
ful and delicious lieverage, so satis
to lie prosecuted. You dou't mean to trees and”—
fying that only the member of the
say you passed on mill said nothing?”
family making the change in the
"Bali!
You're Joking.” Interjected
"I do.” calmly replied the man of tlie Mr. Clark.
cotlee knows there lias been one.
forehead. "I Inferred Instead of Jump
More healthful, richer and less ex
“On my honor 1 am not," Impressive
pensive than straight coHee. Better
ing to a false conclusion."
ly replied the showman. "But the ex
in every respect. 25 cents per lb.
"But you had to Infer that the boy pense.”
Your grocer will get it for you
was under the ice,” protested tlie otli-
"Oh, hang the expense," Interrupted
Ask for
er.
Mr Clark, brimful of enthusiasm over
“Not a bit of It. If tlie boy had fallen the business project of bls friend. "If
In, the skates and cap and mittens you can get any such freak as that,
would have gone with hlm. I simply your fortune's made. But what's the
inferred that he bail seen a rabbit and thing called?”
given chase. I was right too. In the
“Well,” replied Mr. Barnum, with
course of five minutes I met him on the Just the faintest suggestion of a twin
road.”
kle in his left eye, "it belongs to the
“Oh, you did! Ami maybe you Infer batracliian family of animals and In
red »omet li I ng else.”
the vernacular is called the—the—tad
“Of course 1 did. As be had the nose pole!”
bleed. I Inferred tlint he had fallen over
Pronounced cat-fay—acoent on lust ay liable
a log in the chose and got left, and he
Superstition« Great Men.
admitted that such was the ease."
Superstition has not only prevented
“Then you ought to have wound up mankind from attaining a superior em
Swell» With Swell Chomt*.
the performance by Inferring «’bother inence of happiness, but what Is more
“1 had occasion to examine two
it was a male or female rabbit."
deplornble, It has added in a great de brothers who had applletl for policies
“It wasn’t necessary, my captious gree to an already extensive catalogue In our company tlie other day,” said
friend. As 1 passed on I found tlie of earthly miseries. It Is not by the the medical examiner of a life lnsur-
rabbit, dead from overexertion, and it ignorant nloue that superstitious be once company. "One was 35 years
was a male.”—Washington Post.
liefs are entertained, but by many emi old and tlie other was 33. They are
nent men of the past and present. Dr. both unmarried and are known about
Illatorlcnl Division« of Time.
Samuel Johnson was a firm believer In town as pretty gay boys. Usually
For convenience time Is, by his ghosts and second sight. Josephus, the there Is considerable attached to writ
torians, usually divided into three great Jewish historian, relates that he ing policies for men who are known
great eras—ancient, mediaeval (or mi.
saw the extraordinary sight of an evil ns 'rounders.' but these t«’o proved to
die» and modern. The ancient period spirit being induced to leave the body lie perfect sp«?clmens of physical man-
Is considered to extend from tlie earl: of an afflicted mortal upon tlie applica hood.
est times down to tlie fall of the Ro tion of Solomon's seal to tlie patient's
"1 was particularly Impress««! by
man empire in the west In A. D. 470; nostril. James VI, who was noted for their client developments. They both
the mediæval from that date to the ills intellectual attainments and theo had the same measurement and also
discovery of America by Columbus ill logical learning, was a firm believer In the same expansion from 39 to 43.
1402 and the modern from that time to witchcraft. So deep a hold did tills When I found tliat they had snioke«l
tlie present. Some historians prefer to absurd uotion have on him that he pub cigarettes from boyhood, I wondered
put tin* end of the mediæval period at lished a work upholding tills doctrine all tlie more at tlie four inch expan
the capture of Constantinople by the and actually punished ull who opposed sion. Then they told me that when
Turks, about 40 years earlier than the the belief.—Exchange.
they were youngsters they used to
Columbus event. Tlie dark ages arc
delight In seeing how long they could
often held to be coeval with the me
A Chri-ie Konst.
hold their breath under water. Every
diæval era. but some authorities think
Those who Insist upon eating cheese time they took a bath In the tub o<ie
that tlie term should be applied only should take the precaution to cook It ««mid take a deep breath, duck under,
to tlie part of the era extending from thoroughly before eating. It Is for this nnd tlie other would time him with a
the do«'Ufall of the empire of Charle reason that some people who are un watch. A minute nnd a half, I be
magne, In the ninth century, onward.
able to cat rnw cheese find themselves lieve, «ns tlie limit of their endurance.
able to eat toasted cheese without dif They snld It wns all their mother could
An Abanril Snpernlltlon.
ficulty. Toasting the cheese does not, do to get them out of tlie bath and
A fioptilnr belief Is that tlie sound however. Increase Its digestibility, but drive them to bed.”—Philadelphia Rec
produced by a little insect known as a rather the reverse. Its beneficial effect. ord.
“death watch" portends the death of If nny. Is from the destruction of the
some relative or friend. That the virulent microbes which are present
noth Export In I. ok I c .
noise made by this little creature re and which are capable of giving rise
“Tom,” snid a father to hla son
sembles the ticking of ii watch is un to symptoms even more distressing wIics«* school report slio«’«*<l him to
disputed, but that it In anywise fore than those of ordinary Indigestion. The have been nn Idle young scamp, "what
tells the dissolution of a human being best method of dealing with cheese is have you been studying this term?”
is absurd. Observation has establish to give It to the pigs, as It Is nothing
“Logic, father,” replied Tom. “I can
ed tlie fact that these little Insects In more or less than decayed milk, tit only prove you are not here now.”
fest decaying timber and posts, and for a scavenger diet. — Sanitary and
“Inde«*d! How so?”
that tlie peculiar noise Is caused by Municipal Engineering.
"Well, you must be either at Romo
them In gnawing and boring through
or elsewhere?”
the rotten wood fibers In quest of food.
A Trnli nt Angailln Daly.
"Certainly.”
"You are not at Rome?"
A lovely trait of Mr. Daly's character
Then nnd Sow,
"No.”
was Ills temlernessand thought for chil
In these days of cheap literature, dren. 1 never knew him to pass a Ut
"Then you must be elsewhere.”
“Just so.”
when the masterpieces of English «Tit ile newsboy on the street without buy
ers cun be had for <’sl., It Is interesting ing a paper, and be always took the
“And If you are elsewhere you clear
to note that Just 1.900 years ago the paper with a look In Ills eyes ns much ly can’t be here.”
For answer the fntlier took up a cane
Countess of Anjou gave 200 sheep, one is to say. "We must help the boys to
Ibad of wheat, one load of rye and one get a living." It was a beautiful trait that lay near nnd laid it smartly across
load of millet for a volume of sermons -not giving ns charity, but buying Ids son's back.
"Don’t!” cried Tom. “You are hurt
written by a German monk.—London whnt the boy had to sell.—Mrs. Gilbert
In Scribner's Magaziue.
lug me.”
Standard.
"Not at nil. You have Just proved
The German postmaster general lias
Xot Pecnliar.
conclusively that I am not here, so I
forbidden the delivery of postcards
Tess-I see n notice in the pnper of can't be hurting you.”
made in the shape of beer glasses, the wedding of Mrs. Nubride.
Before bls stern parent bad quite
pots, triangles ami also those with
Jess—Yes; I know her very well.
I done with him Toni felt that there
boles for the nose and eyes like masks.
Tess—Do you? What wns her maid must be after all a flaw somewhere In
Nevertheless they are being largely en name?
Ills logic.—London Tit-Bits.
sold In the streets
Jess- 1 suppose her maiden aim «'as
to get married.— Philadelphia Press.
Wh, She Wore It.
Imitations of American products are
He (to the young widow)—Why do
being sold In Sweden In large qunutl
Captain John Smith never during bls I you wear such a heavy veil? I thought
ties. One wholesale hardware dealet
Ims disposed of a big lot of forks which lifetime succeeded In convincing the that you had an objection to ostenta
are represented as of Anterlcau manu English that Virginia was not an Is tious mourning.
She—Oh. It Is only to hide my
facture nnd which are sold nt a very land. In vain lie wrote home, "Vir
ginia Is no Isle, as many doe Imagine.” i smiles. —New York Bun.
low price.
PAPERS
MARTIN, CAMM & CO.
Most
Healthful Coffee
In the World.