rHt ;f7i. . i ttv r sr. - -.----
Tin- I'llllrr's l.neUi IIiit
"We wore traveling fiom HI Paso to
the const,' hh Id the nilvancu limn of n
theatrical combination, "and the porter
nail tucked us snugly In our berths.
when we were uwul.ciicd to tlic con
rcIousiicrs Hint our triiln was 'held mi.'
Tlic ruhhcix mart lied us out of tlio cur
nnd made uk deliver, I'ortunntcly not
. one of us had more titan a few dollars
In cash. Hut the man who held up Hie
enr jiorter gave a yelp of delight: 'Sec
wnnt I vc found! Put'cmbnckl Start
the train!'
"Ill the careless porter's vest pocket
bo 1 1 ml discovered n roll of bills ns big
as the pocket would hold. It looked as
If there must have been several him
tired dollars. We all knew of the prof
itable rnpactousuess of the Pullman
cur porter, hut hover drcnuifd that his
accumulations were ho large. Yet the
rrienuiy Human spark or forgiveness
am: sjiiipainy was m our Hearts rr
the poor fellow losing so much at one
fell swoop. Wu were gathered In the
smoking compartment and had a con-
solatlou purse under ndvlscmcht for
tin; darky, when he came along hlin
self:
".Mali I.nwil, tlat wns the luckiest
sperlctico I done ever had,' ho said,
chuckling all over.
"'Lucky!'
" e were astonished. A poor serv
ant robbed of hundreds chuckling with
glee!
""Deed, yes, gcui'mcn! Doy never
look hut Jls' In only one of my pock
ets! New ork Times.
A Caroline Iftlnml l,-Ktnil,
The Caroline Islands group Includes
t i.i..- i i.. i i .1 ,i
nnd fertile with rivers and springs.
Among the mini v iinecr legends of
these chlldrcii of the I'acllle there Is
none mere highly Improhahle than
their theory as to the origin of these Is-
lands and their Inhabitants, They
think they themselves were very strong
i.. ,... i... ,.. i ,i t i.. i.
Hit! in 1 1 1 ci i ill ii.
rill, tifiin I'neu Hint M u-mnnu mill linr
.....
children were floating around on the
reef when a limn appeared from tin
west with a basket of soil on Ills shnlil
tiers. He had started out to make an
Islnml with a uiountalii on It. One of
the children cried out to lllllI, "(live US
.. iii.i.. .,.,i, ..i
. . i..- m. i. i ii ii ne ii ,,i,. .or our
imil eniinni hu-Iiii " it,, (.mi- mo ,.
handful of the earth mid threw it
down, making an Island. As the limn
was going on his way over the water
the son slyly miiile a hole In the has-
hct. so as he proceeded on his way lie
left a trail of laud behind Siiilitciily
he beciiine conscious t tin t the hasket
scented light, and. looking around, he
saw the land. In Ills anger he turned
about and trod upon It, ami thus the Is
lands were formed.
Tin l.iinilmi Una,
A bus weighs :t,'.'(S) pounds and costs
fll.'i. It Is 11111110 of ash and oak except
tlio paneling, which Is mahogany, and
the windows are of plate glass. Itcforo
a bus is allowed to earn Its '-' 10s. a
day It has to U' licensed, ur, as they
say, "you have to get a number plate
for It." This number plate Is the whltu
plate with black tlgures surmounted by
a crown seen at the tall of thu tins. It
Is provided by the police and costs 2.
Then there Is a wheel duty of lfis. per
nullum to be paid to the Inland reve
nue.
After miikliiK these payments any
mic can run a bus hi London wherever I
he likes, subject of course to the gen
end rule and regulations bearing upon
all vehicular trallle. Attached .n each
bus Is a stud of VI horses, of which on
l.v ten, or live pairs, are win ked In any
one day. thus securing a complete day's
rent for eaeli pair every sixth tiny. As
a litis runs ill miles a day and live
pairs of hores ate used It follows that
n iius noise s tiay s won; is i;i miles,
which lie does In less, considerably
hss, t him three liours, the rate lit
which he travels being between live
and six mile an hour.
This does not seem a great ib-nl to
exact from a horse, still the work Is
hard, often luwilvlug a proloiiRetl dead
pull at the trot, and the crowded condi
tion of the London streets uittkes It
fin ril.tr lit- Ii.m...umI il lti .1..11I In i.nt .I....I I
hartler by neresiilt.it lug continual ilevl
iitlous out of the way of oImIiicIp and
nbiupt stoppmrt-s to avoid coIIUIoiim
Cassell's .MhriixIiic.
Illttt II W'lllllllll l,IMi
Whenever I hear tils iihiiic, 1 could
faint. When 1 see him. I could sink
Into the ground. At the sight of Ills
haiidwrltlhi I grow cold fnuu head to
font, I tremble, my heart aches so that
It seems hrvitkliiK tu two. I hum to he
with III lit. yet when I am with III ill I
havo nothing to say. I have to chciim
ami lie tuwernlilc all alone. He Is uiv
thought nil tiny: Hie Ihsi hefore I sleep.
Hie nrst when I nwnke. I could cry
and cry. I try to read, mid I reuieinluT
not a word I like plsjlng best, for
Hien I mil liiiont liimtrlue that he Is
listening. Hut when I stop playing and
look around I Hnd myself In an euiptv
room. It Is awful I call his nsuie; no
line answers. I whlsicr II; still no an
swtir. I throw myself on the ground
nnd I my. "Think of me. tliiuk of me
you shall; you must: you do think uf
mer It Is great torture and n great
despair. I'erUsps It Is a iiiadness tm.
Hut It Is my way of loxlng. I want to
love while I Ihe, If I knew for certain
Hint he lonsl me me only the Joy. I
think, would kill me. Love! IH you
know. Mwr little s Intel, what It menus)
Siiinetluies It Is a curse. Prom
Orange." by Mrs. Cralgle.
Hubert
Illmnril ihr rinnrla.
Ill the middle or Hie fourteeuHi cen
tury In I'arls a new ordluaucu enjoin
lug the cleansing of the streets nnd Hie
shutting up of mvlnc was carefully
neglected, as usual, and a terrible
flflguc was the consequence. Tlio fac
ulty of medicine, csllcd uhiu for a rem
t-dy by the lUie. sent to Inform htm
nftcr long discussion that the plague
was Hie ivsuit of n hostile eoujuuotluii hug
uf Hie phiuels Mars nud Jupiter
A Washington iiinu coiniihiliiml till
crly to Hie IMstrlci commissioners of
tu pasting of advertising labeti on
avca of blend sud wnntiHl Hinin to
top the practice, but Ihe couituUttoii
M nsaurcil him Hint tlio otllclnl cheui
it' oplulou was that the uo of thee
ibvla on breud Ii lu no wny Uetrliueu
al to health.
iobbooooo oooooTioooooonooool
o so
OS
o; " tai
at... . ......... !
ooaeoasMoeeoMMl
While we were twining our hollylter
rles and Christmas evergreens Into
wienths and garlands to decorate our
homes ami churches, and hastening
from store to store for our Xmas it-
nieiubrnliciM for the lovtd ones, hardly
giving a thought to the less fortunate,
I'liclo Sum was thinking of the soldier
lioys whoso aliHcnce in a foielgn land
would caiiwu many a vacant chair In
their family circles, as ucll as for the
Isiys In Mile who had no home to claim
as their own. Last year I'nele Sam
forgot the Isiys In blue and they had
only Hie happy memories of by-gone
Mays to remind them Unit the itttlt of
j), ,M.r r,.c rnd again.
AnIiiiiiiwI of the neglect Hide Sam
determined to atone for the past ami
commenced two months Is'fore the
holiday season to send fhri-mas ships
to .Manila, anil 1 1 icy were freighted
with IhniMimls of tuikeys, tons of
plum pudding and hundreds of barrels
of eraiilMirries. One vessel carried a
-Ingle order of WX) worth of plum
pudding made in Chicago. Alt the
Isiys In blue, from Luzon to Peking,
had their Christmas dinner this year
and it atoned In a measure for their ab
sence from home.
.Miss Jleleli (ioulil, the guardian angel
flip HHiiiv tiiM.ilv children unit ihtl it lid.
1 J .'.- I
m'r '"''H' 1,1,1 "I"'"1 xeveral thoiiand
titulars m purenasing suuaiiie cioinmg
ami various other articles lor .Minis
gifts. She personally lisiketl after the
purchases, and not one Inferior article
found Its way Into the Xmas Isixes,
MIhs ion M has done much for the sol-
I,.,,!..!,. If ,.!..
I '
, , . . ....i... r.. r....i
uiitcn in men uiiiin mi n iciicci o -
man, leaving out the mothers, wives
ami sweethearts, every vote would Ik-
cast in great big letters Is'itrlug the
nanie of .Miss Helen (iould. I'ollv has
I il,,, .(,, diiilnitliiu for this III lie
I n
wolll) W,(HK. !, f seems to is-
"'hers burdens and make life
'"Kill lor young anil old. .Many a
sickly little child owes lis return to
health to Mls ( iould s tender thought-
fulness. We have heiresses galore In
the Culled States, but out of the entire
,,11,,,u.,. mi i:,,u u il,,. i.l.. ...,
who uts her money for the good of
others.
The Salvation Army came to the
front as well In distributing Christmas
dinners and making glad the hearts of
many homeless and destitute people.
I'or days l-eforo Christmas Salvation
A -.... I...1., I L.t. I 1.. II t.l
mini iiiiii inn i itn-ni.iuiHi in nil- ruin
holding a tin ls with an Inscription
Hint mutely appealed to the bun led
pnsscrs-by, for it asketl for your mite
for a Christmas dinner for the poor.
Many lespoudtsl witli ulckelsaiid dimes
and an occasional ipiarler rattled into
tlic Isixes, but they were few and far be
tween. Not a word was uttered by
these faithful soldiers of the Salvation
Army In Is'halfof the win thy cause mi
Its It was "thank you," in ncknnul-
cdgmciit of the mite you had given
Some of them were tlresl as Santa
Clans and they were besieged by tin
chililieli, who willingly gave up their
nickels to nrove to the merrv old eoin
luander of the Christmas" festivities
what utssl and self-saerlllelnL' little
Isiys and gills they were with the llrm
u,n,,f I ! iiiward was coiiiIiil'
for thelraet of mercy. One tiny golden-
halitsl spilte left her mother's side ami
fairly Hew to msi.l Kris Kilmitc's side,
mill, vni.lilllu III- Iiiiii. I -i.l.l "I I,..-.. M
miii. SiuiIm chiiw. i.nil l u.ini I.. 1.-1.
ion." Down went Santa Clans' iH1v
ami he t.mk the little tot hi his arms,
pnmiWng hcrnll manner of k'ood thlniw
.
that usually come hi that famous pack
that he Is supposed to carry. There
uit it misty IiHiK to bis eyms and the
lltlleeveiit that pleastsl the thought
isiwiby doubtless biiiught Imek mem
ories In his ow ii life of the days of long
ago. I stissl by looking hi the pretty
scene, and w isivtsl stories of w bat
might have lit'ii in connection with
this little hlc-ptuy. 1 saw u little
golden-lialnslglrlof hlsow n wholl.pisl,
I love you, Santa Clans, and the Uibv
had prolmblv gmwn up and gone Into
a home of her own; polhly hc had
never seen the inw and downs of life,
but had Uletly folded her little hands
and iNimsl into the longnvt that knows
no awakeuhiK; and sadder still, ihisM-
bly she had wniideusl (rout the right
Ntth. All rewrlim, NrlinM w ide of Hie
truth, for Hrchaiice there hnd never
Us'ii a little goldcn-lmlreil chlhl to ll-p,
I love you, Santa Clans;" but what
brought tears to his eyes unless It was
the awakening of by-tyne meiuorles'.'
l'olly w atehtsl w Itb a gtssl del of in-
tent to v what daw would resimnd
most willingly and liUniUy to the
mute apu-al of the Salvation Armv for
thoiis-Utninv to furnUh the issir with
a Christmas dinner, and It was not the
wealthy (Hsiple who had money to
spans Nit nioHy ptsiple w ho dcis iidcd
on iiuslrt.tsHbirtmf.iri.iivi ..,.1 x.i...
had U. count every dime over ,WIV t0
i.nab e them to nmk tl... ..nr.... 1...1.I
.... '
mil for tin many puivlmM that UirUt- "
in.id n.i.k.M. n.u..k,. l...... ..r .i. I
"V .i.-v il,i . .1 111 IIIVIH
ImwsisI by the little tin tsix trvlnir to I
look the other way, but endtsi m t,ir,,.
Uu-k ami dcs.tlng tUU mm
ami went on their way with a clear pwr
mma iiguier Heart as well
lis a ignier ptirs,'. tvHne h.Ml.lay buy
..n.ppisi a uichei, aim
l'olly etailtl not see how thev ismltl
siwiro oven a ipper, Utt there was a
sumo nn ineir meesas they turnetlaway
ant! Hiey invartaWy ivirritsl a IkiihhIIi-
lion tlial Hie more prosperous did not
always receive, for the Kilvatlou Army
lad or lassie would auy softly, "(jod
bless you."
But the reward came to thu faithful
Halvatloii Army lads and limit when
the Christmas feast was reaily with Its
decorations of liollylwrrles and (lowers,
and whole families anil gruy-liaireil
men and women wulidorlng; through
the world alone and none to wish them
a merry Christmas or ls-stow n single
thought for their welfare, came In by
the score and were served the steaming
hot roast turkey, roat lecf, cranlx'rrles
and veiretalilcs. numiikin and mince
pies, oranges and apples, nuts, raisins,
and piping hot codec that cheered hut
did not intoxicate. And how they did
eat; none were limited, but Just as long
as there wits space for the gissl things
their plates were replenished. Little
children who came alone alo were
treated royally. 'I bis was not all the
Kalvatlon Army did for humanity this
Christma.-tide, for they sent out bus-
kcts galore tilled witli Chilslmas cheer
for the nifdy who could not atteiii
Their reward came In the knowledge
tho happiness lliey nail nroiiglil
(it hers, and in their hearts rang tin
melody of the true spirit, "t'euce on
earth good will to man."
BRIEF REVIEW.
Indoor Fireworks from China.
The, ingenious CIiIiicmi are putting on
the market indoor llreworks. Alsmt
these there is neither smoke nor odor
nor danger, but only a soft, maiiy-co;
I
I ored llltllllilmtlnn. lieMlltlnit In wei
(there are many kinds; lisiks like an
ordinary suck oi ptmi;. n is nrown in
line, a loot long anil in clrcumlercm
nlsnit the sue of a cigarette It
lighted and held point downward. An
opal-colored globule forms on the point
and remains there until the stick burn
...mil Mill,, c II. t rm. II
I J
I ..1..I...I ..l -i ... i.. . i i.. .i i..
1 iuimiiu mm no 111 Ninnvrm in menu
They are red, green, blue, white, ye
low a hundred lines and they dl
and disappear without smoke or odor
anil without lenvhiL' nnv ash. If the
striken nlei f foriilliiri. llu.i- i. mil
I 1 J n
without titling liarm. Indis.rllrework
it Is said, are aliolutely safe. In
nsun iignteti only ny a wisid tire in
grate It Is pleiutant to see them in the
glisim
A Peculiar Will
New Yolk Italian died not long
ago, leaving considerable property and
a will. Ily the provisions of this docil
incut his three tlusky-cliccked tlaugl
ters are left fllOO a year as long as they
remain single. And now mark t)
next paragraph: "If they marry they
are to receive iZM) per year. Of
euursc most of us haven't -ecu the girl
ul ,. .,..,.,,,,,.,,,
..v..v
maker's peculiar action on the theory
that the girls wv a heavy dowry in
order to ollset their lack of attractions,
Hut even If they are plain in appear
ance, they will not lack foreagerwiss-rs
And they'll be pretty bard to sub if
they don't Hud husbands who are prefer
able to old iiialdisiii on f.") a year,
There are few young men of the pres
ent day who couldn't contrive to get
along Willi even the plailitst of wives
on JiiMHl real money, every year, cash
down and no discount.
B.ijjjrt oi M.ind.iriiu.
.Mandarins In China nniv Is- ill-tlu
''"hed by the birds which decorate
""'lr ""llorins, as well as liy tlielr nut
,,,ns' 'iiidailns of the llrst lank luiw
" l,,r" 11 "e mug emnroidcrei
" ,llt,lr ' '"'hes. Mandarins of the
"ve uieir clonics mioiueti
"i u" "Kureoi a ecu. .Mandarin
"C l Hint milk llllVC II PtSlCOCU. .Mllll-
tlarllisof the fourth rank are adorned
witn a peiuan. I hoseol Hie llllli ranu
'" ,,um1I.v tllstlngulslusl by the silver
I'll''"-'1"1- l'li"-e of the sixth ranU arc
If .....I I . 1...1.. .1..
favorctl by a stork; maiulariiiK of Hu
seventh rank have a Mirtridgc; man
darins of the eighth mill; ipiail, and
iiiuudarliis of the ninth milk the hum
bin sparrow .
An lieM I'unlvhmrnt.
Any infraction of Hie rule of (ilranl
CollcKe Is puiiislnsl with twenty mill
utes on the stool of rcs'iltani i-. When
the Institution first adopttsl tliisM'heme
of punishment one sdsil was enough.
As the college ex iNiudtsI the stisds mul
tiplied, and to-day no lervs than sixty-
four minlci Instrument of diseipliiie
are In mote or Icm constant use In a
room devoted exclusively to the pun
Ishmeiit of tbope w ho liavctruiisgrecd
the rulw. Theiv Is alMilutely nothing
totheilisi'lpliniug except the order tor.it
on a tsunfortable stmd for twenty niln-
utesaiiil "think it over." Any of the
lad would sisiiier tttUea sound thrash
ing and have done with it, but the
stmd of repentance has proved Itself an
ideal punishment, and it has com to
lay at (iirard College
Itubles, when tine, are from live to
ten times more valuable than diamonds
of the sumo weight. A four-cai rat niby
may N worth frombMO to 5,0U. A
ten-carmt ruby recently sold for j0,tVl.
If the average iiuiu wen to attempt
everything the Hoverument
l""l" ' "i"' 'enr Iw wiwM lint to
"evoieaismi nan a comury to uw ihsk,
l..llu....L.Ll I .1....
" t ,t5UI ,n"" " "v
-
,, -s , .
' he tiiaiiHty of fresh hh: wimeil on
u,u' lrl' b.v ''''"'s'llnertifNUW toils
"ol'ku"'l1" mmuy of nve fur elglitivii
u UiiM ... .....ui, i,it t. turn oim
,HM4ml of Wllt0r ,lto v,H,r U) wt
rtve isximls of Iron,
A iHUid if plitisitinis tsutHeWlll U
hend l,UK),uit) uiatelt.
( iw of twins occur muv in everv
sixty - nine births.
WANTED A RECEIPT.
The (Jill l.ni'.y limt.tril L iiiiii 1'iillorr
Imk limlrurll""".
The old Indy was not used to travel
Ing ou the Hroadway cars. She bad
evidently spent her youth and middle
ngu lu the rural region', but doubtless
she called old Ireland bwiiu. Abe con
ductor, who differed little from the
rest of his kind, came through the car
calling for fares. The old woman held
out her hand, In which a nickel was
tightly clutched, Hun drew It suddenly
hue k as If she had tjimle some mistake,
"I want my 'resale' first," she said In
a rich DiHillim dialect.
The conductor paid no heed; but
hold iik out his hnnd. demanded, "Fare,
please."
"Hut I want my 'restite,' " she repeat
cd.
"No receipts, lady." said tlio stolid
conductor. "I'll have to have your
fare."
".My son told me nut to give up any
money without irettlns a 'reatc,' lu
slsted the old woman jtoutly.
The kind lady with the sweet face
and I'arls clothes proffered the assur
ance that It was "all right." that no
body got receipts.
"See, I pay my fare without oue,'
she said, giving the conductor a dime
and (Ue woman a reassuring smile.
Hut the woman was stubborn. "I
want my 'rotate,' " Iie reiterated.
The conductor mechanically held out
a nickel to the kind lady of the I'arls
gown, hut she shook Iter head, nodded
toward the old woman and smllei
The conductor without a word pnssed
on through the ear, which liin hed and
Kwayed tliiiiuuli I'nlon siiume She o
the "resale" shook her head grimly
settled herself back tu her seat and
held on to the niekel. determined not to
rcllnipilsli It without the necessary nc
knowleilguient.-New York Mall and
L.xpress.
BEAUTIES OF A GLACIER.
Set-lit Tlull Are l.tUrnril In Vision
ill ii (ilnrlHr-il ( ll.
The fascinations of a glacier are as
witching as they are danceiniis. Apos
tolic vision of a crystal city cloritletl
bv light "that never was on land or
sea" was not more lieautifiil than
these last Ice rivers, whose unwind
course Is chronicled, not by jears and
centuries, but hy geological ages, sayi
a Illitish Columbia conespnndeut of
the New York Post. Willi white (loin
cd show cornices wreathed fantastic
as arabesque and with the glassy
walls of ciiieialil grotto retlecllne a
million sparkling Jewels, one might be
lu some eaieiuous dream wm Id or
among the tottering grandeur of an an
flout city. The lee pillars and silvered
plnnneles, w h eli scientists mil seines
stand like the sculptured null Me of
temples crumlilliig to ruin (illtterlng
pciiilanls hang fiom the tlm of hliilsh
cIiiimii. Tints ton brilliant for artists'
brush gleam from the tunpiolse
crystal walls, lilters that How through
valleys of Ice ami lakes, hemmed lu tiy
hills of lee. shine with t nzille deptl:
that Is very lullnlty's self.
lu the morning, when all thaw has
been stopped by Ihe night's cold, then
Is deathly silence over the glacial Ileitis,
even the mountain ciitniaets fall imlsc
lessly from the pteelplce to ledge 111
tenuous, wind Mown threads. Hut with
the rising of the sun the whole glacial
world bursts to life in noisy tumult
Surface ilvulcU hmwl over the let
wllh a glee that Is vocal and almost
human. The gurgle of rliers tlowlng
through subterranean tunnels becomes
a roar, ns of a rushing, angry sen, Ice
grip no longer holds back rock scree
loosened by the night's frost, nnd
there Is the rovcrberntllig thunder of
the falling avalanche.
.Mnili l'i I'nr l.nat Tlntr.
When President Kruger sailed for
niigtaiid some years ago, he was the
object of much colli em to his fellow
pnssengers on Isiartl the liner from
Cape Town, many of whom were con
sinned with curloslt when they no
Heed Ills absence from the dinner table
for the llrst four days out.
On Inquiry they found that the carts
fill Trausvanler spent the dinner hour
on deck, where lie ate biltong and hUe
cults. hen asked his reason, he ten
Hly replied, "I have an money to fool
away on expensive eating, like you
Kiigllshmeii."
The corresmmdeiit who tells the story
nnd who was on Imard nt the time
adds, "You should hnve seen the old
man trying to make up for lost time
when It was explained to him that his
passage money Included his meals on
Isiflrd."
A SLlt.lll 111 l!irr- f'lnart.
The oxpiesslon "There Is a skeleton
In every closet" Is said to have Its
origin lu the fact Hint a soldier once
wrote to his mother, who complained
of her uiihappluess, n, imve some sew
ing done for him one who
had no cares or trouM, s At last the
mother found a woman who seemed
to lime no troubles, but when she told
her business the woman took her to a
loset containing a skeleton and said'
Madam. I try to k"cp my troubles to
myself, but every night I am com
pelled by my husband to kiss this kl
etou, who was once his rival. Think
you, then. I can be happy?"
Ill l)lnunul.
Teacher- Supie you Imd one tound
of candy anil gaie two-thirds to your
little sister and oue-fourth to your lit
tle brother, what would you have your
self? Scholar-Well, 1 giios I'd have the
measles or sowethlug s's 1 wouldn't
feel much like eating. Puck.
Ilea rill ilk' Itnuir Humor.
Landlady (threateningly) I'll C've
you a piece of mj nilod oue of these
days If you're not careful-
Hoarder-1 guess I cau stand It If it
Isu't auy bigger than tbe piece of pie
you gave me. lvtrolt Free Press.
Tberv U a photographer lu New York
bo has adopted as n specialty tout
bao of his biuluess which most plo-
ure makers detest the making of
Wblo' pictures. He tukss no pleturv
growu insji(e.
The Infancy of llritlsti maoufactur
lug whs uur-wtt hy engluei'rs from Hot
land, w bo supcrtuteuded Hh erKtloe of
Ind and water mills.
It Is one of the privileges of man to
live nod b.iie but some men seem to
live a great -Ual iu.-ro than they learn
PROFITS OF NOVELISTS.
Tweiitv vears ago Mr. Howell pub
licly said Hint It would bo possible to
seat nt a small table every man m ima
country ho wits clearing $o,000 a
year net from literary wort.
Since then I have heard the returns
from a single successful novel placet!
at SnO.WXi. Knowing the circulation
which It hnd hnd and the usual royal
ties, the statement seems not impru
dent To the sales, which mnko a re
turn of from ?20,000 to ?2.',000 off n
single noi el. there Is now not unusunl-
ly ridded the still large wage paid to
the novelist whoso fiction becomes the
basis of n successful piny.
Not long since Mr. Oinrles Frohninn
said In substance Hint It wns nonsense
to turn anyw here except to a novel for
a play, since It cost from Jlo.iXX) to
$20,000 to make a piny known, nnd the
novel hnd alrendy nceompll'het this
without eft-ort nnd without expense.
v ,.-,... i ntnrnrv life Is eoraimrablo
... .i, ( ti.o vwrh.hr. Not n nov
els drnmatl.eil succeed, but when n
dramntlzed novel runs through the
venr. ns nenrly n dozen have done In
the past Ihe years, the return to the
author will average about ?.)' a wcck
while the nlay Is upon the boards. Aft
er mnkltig from $'.-.,000 to $30,000 from
a single noiel the author may then ob
tain ns inueli more during each of the
vears In which the piny based upon It
holds (he stage.
i. ,. i.i i... inviiUnit to ?nssln over
,,n,n.,Q lint timri. nm two recent tiln.vs
which must have yielded to the novel
ist playwright from $7r..O0O to $100,.
000. or half the sum earned by Trol
lone In a lifetime of laborious romance.
- Talcoit Williams In American Re
view of Reviews.
Wi I tin in I'riiti'n Itiick.
The low land surrounding tlio famous
Hock House, on Last Pent! street, t.er-
nnmtown. Is being tilled In with
eaitli The rock on which till build
ing stands Is the one from which Wll
tin ii I'eiin preached of old. the people
of Philadelphia assembling In great
crowds every Sunday morning to hear
him. The rock was then very high.
I'enn spuke from a towering eminence.
but It Is now almost- completely cov
ered, new earth having been dumped
on all that i idow land where, during
the Revolution, the Riblsb cavalry
were eueaiiuieil. The o!tTl!ock 110110
was built, some say, hi bVS'J hy Her-
haul Hendricks, but there Is another
story to the effect that Isanc Shoe
maker erected It with Ills own hands
lu UK m. and over this tnntter main
honied artiiicologlcnl arguments still
go on lu tieiuiiintown. Ihe houe Is
known inrlously as the Rock House,
Rock Hall. Shoemaker's IIoue and
Hendricks' House. There was some
talk years ago of tearing It down, but
such a storm of protest thereupon
arose that the Idea was abandoned.
Philadelphia Record.
seiuiiiiri nl l.uiliry.
Talk about oriental luxury! It ivo'.M
make the late Representative Hohnnli
of Indliinii turn over lu his grave to
rea 1 the aceoiuit which the 'enate hnj
Just paid for dcttiiiiilug and furnishing
the room of the senate committee on
linanee. l or genuine richness observe
these items:
I'aillins at!f iiiit cvlllniii ffiofi
Stqri-e nrnamrntft . ISA
Vru mrlil niantrl 250
Mien k-rfin lit..ki jr Ill
Malif4tn wlriliutMi
I'lie p4ir pluiili curtains (ttA
Mlltun arwla ISO
One sialii'tfim labia ISA
One ntufAny ili-k 113
On rsvi-ti mahogany chain 4M
I'our ratr clialri 210
One mil 120
One mahogany ileal. 16c
These are only a few of the principal
Items, in short, It cost $1,709 to tleco-
rate and furnish the room In which the
senate tuinmlttce on tinaiiee meets.
Nearly $.',0ufl to decorate one room.
This ought to give the economical
statesman a cold chill. Washington
Post.
MUrl)- to Cauir Trouble.
It Ii ,i.ld that France Is trylrg to buy
lOO.Ono sipnire miles of hind from
Hmxll. The Monroe doctrine declares
Hint the western hemisphere Is no lon
ger open to colonization by Liiropcnu
powers Ihe colonies which they al
ready held the.i could retain without
Infringing ihe Monroe doctrine, thorSdi
they tunc luce lost most of theiii.
Hut they cannot, consistently with the
established iiollcy of this country, ac
quire new colonies or add to those they
had liefore. The traditional policy of
Hits country, therefore, would not per
mit I' ranee to acquire from Hmill
a colony twice as large ns Lngland and
half as large as France If Hits were
once iicrmlttcd, the Monroe doctrine
would no longer be respected by other
i.uropean unvers. iniulat ille Courier-
Journal.
A I, link lllln tUi- I'muri.
When all freight iraUlc has tieon ban
sheil to underground rallivai ami the
automobile has displaced Uie horse
for surface
travel, uearli il, ....nr..
strtvt tictweeu to, pavements can he
devoted to giitn turf. Cities of the
tweutleth ami following centuries mat
in? tree rrom mist ami the tile odors
arising from uulmal traffic. The auto
mobile mowiug machine may tie sub
stituted for the Mitvpiug maelilue.
tO the CTCHt llliornveilient uf l..iltl. I
nm r.... ,.r u.,t.-. t 7
- .v";w.ui v. .luKiji
M. 1.0UIS POst-DUlllltctl
It.-.l llnlr l.nnklnu I'll,
The redheaded gr continues to
" iw ir nvm. ii mus ii reuueatitH I
merles n etenograpber who receivi-,1
117 proposal of marriage at the ParU
Mo?ltloii. aud uow a New Vork bul-
neaw man. who advertised for a steiu.g
mpuer auu some gin clerks, all with
rod hair, say he prefers that kind
becau they are brighter thau other
1.1 Ms. And there duenn't seem to Is-
any Intention of a Joke lu his remark
either. Hn ft a Io Lpres.
A tlrsn slap.
Very well." ewlalmtsl Dr. Quick
after his quarrel with the undertaker;
i ii make you sorry tor tnisr
What are you going to do," retorted
the undertaker "retire fiiu tmcticv?"
Philadelphia Prvw.
Hy hook and by crook" Is no illn
slou to au aueleut manorial custom
wnicn wrmltleil the ueigbbortn; oour
to tain all (he wood that they eoul.1
reach and pull dorr from the for,.t i
trt,s. uihig only their nel.hrj. '
cr- I
JACK TAR'S GROWL.
A Story Ulnntrnllnw the Snllor'i
llnlilt of OrumbllnK.
The author of "From Edinburgh to
the Antarctic." writing of the sailors
habit of grumbling, says: "The ulunera
ate all the snme-that Is to say. -Monday's
dinners are all alike, and "hat
we have today wu shall hnve this day
six months hence. Jack's forefather
this day l' years ago had the same
menu (ind made tte same uncompli
mentary remarks about the dishes, and
ion tears hi nee on this tiny Jack's i hll
drcii will growl over their salt horso
nnd pliimless duff." The author nlso
tells this "yarn" to Illustrate that
Jack's habit of grumbling can't be
(nnd and must be endtlrfd:
once upon a time there llvcia skip
per whose wife tald to him that If she
wttit to sea the poor men would never
Hnd fault with their food. Her hus
band tool; her with him on n vojnco,
and the gooil woman imciiu.s. .
- eooking m wie giuie. m-i
The senlise W lis thlcl; Willi rresn no
tables, the bread wns white nntl with
out weevil, the meat was good, anil
Hie duff was almost half plum, "ui
still the men growled.
Then the skipper's wife thought of
the hens she had brought on hoard to
lay eggs for her huslinnd's breakfast,
she took them out of the coop, wrung
their necks with her own fair haniK
Mucked them, roasted them and sent
them to the foncastie on tne ciumi
china.
"Now the men." she said to herself,
will know how much we think of their
comfort.
U eight bells she stole forward to
the forecastle to listen to the praise of
her skill as a co .. She looked down
the hatch and -n.t a big black list
plunge a fork into the hen and heard a
hnnrse voice gmwi. "I say. Hill, what
d'ye think this 'ere bloody fowl died
of?"
ftireil h) rirm-(tlliit
This Is an Lnglish story, and. strangs
as It may seem. It made a lilt when It
was told at the Lambs' club, suys the
New York Telegraph. It was perpe
trated by I.awr I'di-ny, the Lug
llsh actor. Scleral numbers of the
club spun ynrni of dubious merit
when Mr. d'Orsiiy In lis peculiar wny
began:
"Now, gentlemen I'll lelate a story
One man present pulled out his
watch, nnd they all thought it was go-
lug to be n serial (hie r two started
to go, hut the actor stopped them hy
his assurance that the story wouldn't
he very long.
"There wns n friend of mine lu Lou
don," he snid. "who vh nn Incessant
cigarette smoker. Finally ho lost his
memory. Then he forgot to siuoko clg
nrettcs. and he got well again."
Mr. tiorssy effected tils cscnpo
through the assistance of n friend who
knew him when he didn't tell such sto
ries.
Tin Ml'iuiiri' llnlr" nruah
'Contrary to the belief of most peo
ple, the camel's hair hitn-h used by art'
Ists has nothing of the tumel In It."
said a manufacturer of soft brushes to
a writer the other day "There was a
tlliu- when real cnniel's hair was used
for the pin pose The ship of the des
ert. Iioweier. has long been superseded
b.i the homely little sipilrrel. Not only
Is sipilrrel s hair very much less costly.
nut it Is better, softer, more pliable nnd
fur more durable. At the present day
It Is doubtful If you could llnd a pound
of cnniel's hnlr In nil the brush facto
ries In tlris country. However, there Is
no cause for (' .r that the graceful lit
tie sipilrrel will he exterminated. It Is
the Luropean siiulrrel that furnishes
the hnlr for the brushes, the covcrln
nf ,la' -'"trlcttii squirrel being too fur-
ry and soft for the purpose." Wash
ington Star.
n Cnse.
Man (to lawyer) I've been hnilly bit
ten by f dog Can I get tlaW.iges'from
Its mastery
Law. or Did you do nnythllig to Irri
tate the dog?
Man- No.
Lawyer-Were you on Its owner's
premises?
Man - Lr- yes.
Lawyer-In what capacity? As a
friend or
Man Of eourso this Is strictly contl
ilentlal.
Lawyer -Certainly.
Mini- Well. I wns trying to break In
to his houi-e.-Iick-Mo-Up.
I lir l.miilnn Ilua,
'Lnglish travelers." says a London
eorrc.pi.iidein of the Ronton Tran
script. -Iinve so Jeered our advertising
outrages iinn architecture and scenery
that I fain-led we were of nil nntion's
most culpable. Hut after n sem-ou's
residence In :Uglnnd I hold America
ocued iiur advertising efforts are
modest, etui feeble, beside tlio.. ,,f
our I'.rltUh cousins.
-i i-otiiivn tun Is a mere ndvertls.
Ing inn with . ..i ... i . .
""' tor pas-
rend l lr. Z7 . "T "r..
iwisr The destlimtlon of the bus Is
marked lu Inconspicuous letters, the
smallest on the canins ,l. ..,,-.,, ,Ji ....
.. , ,,, ,i-,IU a
tuii, -in... .i.... .. ...
tilde, aud the chances of disentangling
those letters from tin- male of adver
tising aunouncemeuts about them lr.
1...11 .,. .
... ""'' " " n smni
rr silil
Hrluhl l.liilr si,mill.
SmUiy tH llO Is n...... ,l..i
" of h-UooIi- Ilowdle iinrthnM .ii.i.c.
w- io scuotu ail oav
Mamma- Why not. Saiuuiv?
s"0) -'Cause his mnll.nr .II...1
ihen you die. mat I k(,n i,,., ii
day? '
Momma-Ves. darling: vou mm .m.
out a whole week
Sammy (susnlclouslvi-nh i i-,....i
Vou meun to die In v.-.ti,i n.i..m
It- -... IIHI lllll
.Ife.
HU l.len .if un,,
A talesman who uav ..n...i .
rt. . " ""i 111 n iniir
WhWhor h , Tm'" MU"
T .m . ,V tU,U "' ,,r,,J,ullw nBln
an alibi plea ou the tuart ..r . ....
MaM UV,
"I'Wl t'.-tn .
Is
a.ked
was
"I Iblnk I do; yes, gr,
"What do jou uudersund hi itr
t he talesman retiec,ed a mom,.,,, nn.l
''. l.h n hesltai 0 , 1, .',
B.a.em., r. ,. , ., i'"", . l' f
fWbw it h'o duJ It wain h 1 ",tn
A DOMESTIC JAR a
TIip Utile Dlnloirne With Wli, l
1-rni-ei-llliiKS itrrr '-nilf;4f
Here's a lime uony tiinlogu
wns overheard In n $21 a month d
tol mil mansion one evening last i
She ny, on, wny, uid I everu.
you?
He Hecause I was a good thing. Coj
She You are becoming positJtot
coarse. euj
He Association. Ind'
She You pay no attention whitEe'
to my little wishes. lie!
He-Vhat's the use of clinging . itfs
after you've caught It? ijji
She 1 believe you have been itrjtcl
Ing again. frai
He N'o such luck. her
She I'm In rags. istjt
He-Well, we'll do n sketch. So'ufiij
She I haven't been to the tliearr?Sj
two weeks. Ugi
lie Yours Is a sad story. iuui
She-Hrute! Ijp
He Ours Is a peaceful home. nr.'
She-Are you going down toirnS
night? 'Ri
He If I can swing you for earful
She I have only $.'t lu my purse 'Si1
He-Hetty flrceti! ' 'M!
She 1 saw a pair of high heeled r'iE1
cut leathers today, reduced to JS.fflafi1
I must nntl shall have.
He D'Je see any men's brocanj .',
ti !ti? nu
She Why don't you get shaved -He-Waiting
for pny tlay. :r'
She Don't you know- the rent I. -
the gas will be due tills pay day?
He-Then I'll cut out the shave.
She I wish I had never left manli-
so 1 an. !
He-Others, othcrsl i?
She- I have a good notion to gor?."
hack to her this minute. X
He Have you got nn umbrella? p
She-Oh, you-you-g-g-govcrat!Jv
c-c clerk! (Tcnrs. Curtnln.l-Wash.jlj
,0" ' m" arr
iiIhp of Ti-pilioiic uiol,eri,Xac
"Telephone numbers hnve an acjoor
money value," said nn otllccr ot fvou
American Hell Telephone conp:Scnl
"The assertion has a strange Boii'S
hut If you think for a moment oHlnit
ndvnntage a business house derjetti
frcni hating Its location well kmuu:
the thing stems only natural. pin';
"In the course of time people's miwljl
begin to associate n tlrtn with Its tJs'
phone number, and If when tliey riEi
to call up nn old friend they llnd 0JJ(
masquerading under a new uumthat
Is us much of a shock as If they
called at a house with which tlieytiUfS
In the habit of doing business W
fniii'd It had moved nway It ?UJ'
comes under the legal head of 'rl(l
will.' a very elusive commodity, .bod
one w hlch has Its market value. trcl,
"So much Is this fact appreclateOSiff
soi if our old patrons that they f P'
willing to pay heavy mileage If tiillS
mine away from the llelghhorllooll50.,
tlielr e.vchange III order to retain tta"?'
old telephone address, .Many Imiiilf
taut houses have followed the nor.""
wind trend of business In the lastllL'
years, and there lire several ciisesolJj
llim's olllcc address being In tbtf
town district, while Its telephone nu.r
her remains so and so Cortlandt r -I'.road
The linn's line to the excbi:!
may be several miles long," New Vcn?
Mali and Impress, iou
roll
A fuel Willi VlKor. hlS
The .McMillans of London nublW
a book of poems hy T L. lirown, tvfcrecl
the Lnglish critics liu'ded hecaose1?
the "ilgor of the poet's description
stjie." Here Is a little sample of It
ferrlng to Hie sailing of a flshiln
smack: mo'
So to the Jetty itrsilual ilic ai bauld, nP
1 hen one l lie tiller look I
tliil rhewed and apat upun till hand anJ bivlefi
Anu one tin i-.invaa aitwnk tntt
Pnrlh lilirt ,.,a1.H i.u, n,t .... u-OS nn.ll lul
And imlln. lay on Ihe linnairli end ar 1 cilWprb
tod curetl the harbur maitcr by 1m poui eil
And, rotten from ihe cunoale to the IH,
Kit riddled. Inlet I, 'anlt.
Glirae altUterrd. herril.lr, I la her reel car
And drag lur oozy Hank
Aim pi'aMI amonif tne Ufll young
laughed ,lx
And leapt and turned In many a aporttve bl Le
ai aite inun.-d onuard u-mi her luroMrpot
draft. ijy
We believe this Is a poet who coti'i
nliuost do Justice to the Chicago swjTj,
,111s. I he rhythmic swish of tnerdai
t ker's knife and Hie turllbiu spb-Tt
nf the hog lu the scalding vat ought tfn
tl.rlll such a bard to the very core gj,
his immortal smil. Hive us a thr
Hrotvn. Chicago Tlmcs-IIerald. utl
Cy,
iili- Sneere tViiinl Tree.
The remarkable sneeze wood tree H i
until e of Nntal and other partJ Irfi
South Africa it's funny name ".
given to It because one cannot sn
wiiuoiu sneezing violently tn
The dust of Its wood lias Jsttl"h
same effect as the strongest satill v
is so irritating to the nose that ' ei
men are obliged to sneeze even "i
they are planting It r?,
If n piece of the wood of this tret -
put In the mouth. It Is found to ua 55
1 cry bitter taste, and no doubt It I'gJ,
bUterness which prevents Insecti 6Jo
any kind from attacking the tlnitff jut
the "siieene wood tree.
The fact that insects tlnd It so dlifcz
grceahle makes its wood very valBfnii
for work that Is required to last a
time.
Tlii I. our of 11 Mi 1 11.
A sldp's log is nn Instrument 'r
measuring the rate at which the vesit
is going ami consists of three parugjl
vl. the log chlii. the log line and th
log gluss. The principle Is simply tb'
a light substance thrown from
vessel ceases to partake of the mo"
or the vesMi as soon ns It strikes
water nnd will be left Milnd on
surface after n certain Interval. H"
distance of the shin from this stall
nry object be measured, the ni'P"
mate rate of sniiing will be etven
The log chin Is the ilont. the I'glH
1 Hie ineaure of the distance. nndtft
log glass detines the Interval cf IIB
In the old days the heaving of tb!
roqujred skill and watchfulness;
eluce the patent log has come Into
no skill Is required In finding (be efTlw
Of a vesso . It Is remihited ty nl
work, nud the number of knots tbef JSs
el sails per hour Is recorded oa tlt)
ulnl without any hand touching it
ti
to
'c.
Too llliih I'nr Iiianrrtloa.
Count tie Koronet (who Is an ar!'
aumirer of Willie's sister) - W Hat
you after, my little fellow' Com
tvuud here w here I iiin see you
Willie (w ho U climbing ou the t
t
or the count s chairt-T.-m said jn
skating r! ik i n top of your biaJ.
I want to sev lt;-Hrooklyu Life.