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About Smoke signals. (Grand Ronde, Or.) 19??-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1998)
December 15, 1998 Health 9 Therapy test, continued 17. Do you find yourself repeating be havior patterns that are unhealthful or that are causing you distress? 123-often -A 56-rarely When you feel compelled to do something that is harmful such as smoking, drinking, overeating, excessive gambling, or abusing drugs or alcohol, then therapy is indicated. You may also find yourself having to repeat a behavior or thought over and over to the point where it feels like you cannot control it If such thoughts or behaviors are causing you distress, then speak to a therapist about it. 18. Do you have trouble staying in a committed relationship even though you desire intimacy? 12- trouble with intimacy 10 not a problem Many people often wonder why they have trouble commit ting to a partner even though they feel lonely and are desir ous of an intimate relationship. A therapist can help you to clarify these issues. 19. Do you find yourself losing your temper often? often rarely never If you are having problems in your life because of your tem per or if you feel that at times you just "lose it," then you need to talk to a therapist about effective ways to deal with the emotions that build up inside of you. If you fear that you are going to abuse your child or spouse, then immediately talk "witn-awuHsei."-- ' "T - r 20. Do you feel that eating is a major focus in your life? I 23 4 56 very important -76 910 its just eating The emphasis on dieting and body image in our culture has caused many people to develop different ways of relating to food. Food can become a source of comfort an enemy, a friend, or an obsession. Some people starve themselves, oth ers make themselves throw up, and others eat compulsively. If you are relating to food in an unhealthy way, then seek out a therapist for help. 2 1 . Would you like to learn more about yourself and why you are the way that you are? 1 23 456 78 9 10 interested not interested Therapy does not just have to focus on problems. It can be a medium for growth and self-awareness. If you are interested in learning more about what makes you the way you are, then therapy is for you. RESULTS: Consider discussing the above results with a "significant other" who knows you well in order to learn how others view you differently than how you view yourself. If your significant other feels that you definitely need therapy and you feel that you do not, then discuss this discrepancy with a mental health pro fessional. ' Each of the above questions probes an area which sig nals that therapy can be of help. If you scored close to 1 0 on all of the questions then therapy is not likely to be of help to you at this time. Therapy is notjust designed to help you through the tough times; it can also help you to understand yourself better and help you to grow as a person. A Christmas Story It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 1 0 years or so. It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas oh, not the true meaning of Christ mas, but the commercial aspects of it overspending... the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else. Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he at tended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids all kids and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed antici pation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. - ' Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us. May we all remember the true Christmas spirit this year and always. r Titans mm c mssss fXmSsm SEE
