Smoke signals., March 01, 1989, Page Page 6, Image 6

Smoke Signals March 1989 Paget
BUILDING POSITIVE INDIAN PARENTNG SKILLS
Before the Whiteman's presence, American Indian
culture played an important role in positive parenting.
The traditions and customs, passed along for genera
tions, helped the parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents
and even entire communities, nurture, protect and teach
the young.
Of course, each tribe had their specific ways of teaching
their children, but an underlying lesson was that the
young were to be respected and considered a precious
resource.
At birth, close ties were established between parent and
child. The child was never far from mother, whether she
was at work or at a social gathering. This was insured
since the mothers carried their child in cradleboards, -baby
baskets or blankets.
Tribes continued to recognize their young as they
matured. For instance, a persons name would change as
they grew. The name would be given by a relative and a
give-away would recognize the change or growth seen in
the individual. First-kill ceremonies would honor a
young person for the game he had taken, and teach the
importance of sharing the venison. Spirit quests would
offer youth direction in the transition from child to
adult.
The use of patience provided another important positive
parenting technique. A young Indian child was given the
time, and opportunity to develop at their own pace.
As the children grew, self-control was taught. There
were clear rules to follow. "We took care of our
hearts," William Hartless, Mary's River Kalapuayan,
once said about individual responsibility for one's
behavior within the Tribal community.
Another example is the role of the whipman and
whipwoman during special ceremonies and pow-wows.
The whipman and whipwoman were responsible for the
dance floor. Anyone who stepped on the floor was
responsible to them. These care-takers were especially
wary of children, to insure proper conduct while danc
ing. Any child caught playing, running or violating other
rules while on the dance floor could be penalized
however the whipman or whipwoman decided. The
penalty would have to be honored by the child or parent.
All these things were intertwined, building and shaping a
child's importance and role within tribal society.
Another training tool was storytelling from which
children learned much. They were history lessons and
taught moral and tribal values. Strong listening and
speakings skills also developed. With storytelling no
generation gap exsisted. It was a social function that
involved eveyone.
The stories told about such things as greed, egotism, and
making fun of others, but the end result was personal
growth - helping to create a well-rounded human being
who could laugh at life's problems, laugh at themselves
and who could provide ways to overcome the problems
of daily living.
Perhaps, the most popular character in Indian stories is
Talapus (coyote) who represented the spectrum of life.
He was a creator, sometimes kind-hearted but better
known as being greedy and a trickster ...so very human.
He was a teacher.
Listening skills helped develop communication between
the children and adults. It was a strong belief that good
listening between parents and child was more than
hearing just words.
One also listened with open hearts, eyes and mind.
Through these ways, an understanding grew of what the
child was feeling as well as what they were saying. This
understanding led to trust and faith and created strong
relationships between child and parents.
These modern days offer great challenges. Families
must survive with no clear rules, and with a greater
diversity of experiences than our ancesters, but yet, there
is great value in the old traditional ways of child-rearing
that can be used today.
j.i, auiuiuuiiuimiun.awiiiuuiUMliAmuijji !'"W'VWJWl3yMw
km Smmisbr Z ' ' ',', VVJ?,VS'S?W''ffl '',''''' '',,(''" 1 ''', ypji'vWlW'W
1 ,,.'' '',,, n ,, ,4.,,,,, ,.,, ,, ' ;
1 "'1 ' '; " ',ffl?A ,.;,'; ' f - ''''",
4V $V, A ' " , I &'2t2i,
I if tr if ' ig&A - -w -
y J 1 n
Following is a Shasta story to share with your family, but
remember:
"The people used to say, 'It is not good to tell myths in
the summertime. Perhaps a rattlesnake might bit a
person, or a yellowjacket might sting a person, should
one tell myths in the summertime.' But they do tell
stories during the wintertime. It is good to tell myths in
the wintertime. There are long nights in wintertime."
Santiam Kalapuyan
THE THEFT OF FIRE
SHASTA
Long ago, in the beginning, people had only stones
for fire. In the beginning every one had only that sort
of fire-stone.
"Do you hear?
There is fire over there.
Where Pain lives there is fire."
So Coyote went, and came to the house where Pain
lived. The children were at home; but all the old
people were away, driving game with fire.
They had told their children,
"If anyone comes, It will be Coyote."
So they went to drive game by setting fires.
Coyote went into the house.
"Oh you poor children!
Are you all alone here?" said he.
"Yes, we are all alone.
They told us they were all going hunting.
If anyone comes, It will be Coyote.
I think you are Coyote," they said.
"1 am not Coyote," he said. "Look!
Way back there, far off in the mountains, Is Coyote's
country. There are none near here."
Coyote stretched his feet out towards the fire, with
his long blanket In which he had run away.
"No, you smell like Coyote," said the children.
"No, there are none about here," he said.
Now, his blanket began to bum, he was ready to run.
He called to Chicken-Hawk, "You stand there!
I will run there with the fire.
I will give it to you, and then you run on.
Eagle, do you stand there! Grouse, do you stand
there! Quail, do you stand there!"
Turtle alone did not know about it. He was walking
along by the river.
Now, Coyote ran out of the house; he stole Pain's fire.
He seized it, and ran with it. Pain's children ran after
him.
Coyote gave the fire to Chicken-Hawk, and he ran on.
Now Chicken-Hawk gave it to Eagle, and he ran on.
. Eagle gave it to Grouse, and he ran on.
He gave it to Quail, and he ran far away with it.
Participants at Positive Indian Parenting class