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SpilyayTymoo
Warm Springs, Oregon
September 30, 1994 PAGE 5
Profile of an abusive partner-
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by Erin Sweeden
What kind of a man would beat
his own wife and children? He might
be unemployed or chemically de
pendent. He might be a successful
doctor.lawyer.ministcrorcounselor.
Abusive men can be found in all
occupations.socio-economic classes,
ethnic groups, age groups, commu
nities and churches. Some of the nic
est people we've ever met are
batterers. Victims often describe their
partners as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
personalities who are model citizens
in public and become monsters be
hind the closed doors of the home.
Abusers tend to follow the macho,
"kind of the castle", "John Wayne"
script too well.
Abusers differ from non-abusers
in three main ways. Eighty to ninety
percent of abusive men witnessed
domestic violence between their par
ents, they are more likely to have
been abused themselves as children,
and they are less assertive with their
wives. Violence is a learned behav
ior which these men learned at an
early age within their families, and
while they were learning violence,
they weren't learning other problem
solving techniques such as commu
nication skills and assertiveness.
In an abusive home, it is very
difficult for children to grow up feel
ing good about themselves. Sons must
watch helplessly while their mothers
are beaten, risk being beaten them
selves to defend her, or become like
the abuser. They tend to become
angry, depressed and suicidal with
very low self-esteem. They learn to
escape from their pain by cutting off
their emotions. This keeps them from
getting close to others and under
standing how other people feel, so it
is easier for them to abuse others as
they were abused.
Drugs and alcohol are used to
help numb emotions, and these con
tribute to 70 top 80 percent of batter
ing incidents.
Because abusive men are so out
of touch with their feelings, they
becomeextremelydependenton their
partners for emotional expression as
well as physical nurturing. Their
partners are often the only people
these men feel close to because they
are such socially isolated loners.
Batterers tend to be three-year-olds
emotionally, despite their adult
bodies. Their fear, hurt, shame, sad
ness, disappointment and confusion
are all expressed through anger be
cause anger used to be the only so
cially acceptable emotion for men.
The lifelong pain is buried be
neath layers of anger, chemical de
pendency, and finally, denial.
Batterers tend to say the abuse never
happened, it wasn't as bad as it was,
or it was okay because of something
the victim did to deserve it They
must make others wrong so that they
can be right. The pressure of keeping
all of this buried leads to intense
stress which continually threatens to
get out of control and erupt They
have a hard time accepting frustra
tions, controlling impulses, and
waiting for rewards. Rather than ac
cepting responsibility for their own
issues, they tend to see them in ev
eryone around them, especially their
partners. In order to feci safe on the
inside, batterers think they must
control everyone around them on the
outside. They can have power by
overpowering others. Violence is a
very effective tool for controlling
others, making them do whatever the
batterers want, and preventing the
partners, who are needed so desper
ately, from leaving.
No amount of control on the out
side can ever bring lasting security
and peace on the inside. The only
way out is to peel back the layers of
denial, substance abuse and rage one
at a time and face the childhood feel
ings of fear and hurt. Those who
have made this journey say that the
results are well worth the effort re
quired to achieve health, wholeness,
peace of mind, to keep the family
together and to end the cycle of vio
lence in this generation.
For more information, call the
Community Counseling Center at
553-3205.
Parenting series scheduled
What: "Now What Can I Do?" Parenting Sexually Abused Children
Where: Conference room, Community Counseling Center
When: Thursdays, 6:00 - 7:30 p.m. October 6, 20, November 3, 17,
December 1, 15;
Who: Dr. Loyc Ryan
A group to help parents find answers to all those questions and frustration
in dealing with their sexually abused children.
For further information call Community Counseling Center at 553-3205.
Health education team
relocates, offers training
An ongoing four-week information series for women
who have suffered physical and emotional abuse
began Tuesday, September 13. The final session of
the series, concerning overcoming abuse, will be
held Tuesday, October 4.
Session will be held from 6 to 8 p.m. at the
Community Counseling Center.
Babysitting Is provided. For further information
contact Urbana Manion at 553-3205.
The Community Health Education
team has relocated. The team which
consists of Anita Davis, Carolyn
Wewa and Corinna Sohappy have
moved from the Health & Wellness
Center to the Vern Jackson home.
Exciting plans for the future
include publishing a Health
newspaper and beginning a radio
station. The move will accommodate
the equipment necessary to produce
such articles.
In addition to the move, the team
has been presenting HIVAIDS
education to various departments in
the organization. The following
departments have had presentations:
Tribal Court, Early Childhood
Education, Public Safety, Vehicle
Pool.Child Protective Service, Social
Service, the Senior Program, Human
Resource, Recreation, Community
Health Promotion, Health & Welfare
Committee, the general managers and
Tribal Council members.
For the remainder of the year,
more sessions will be held in the
hopes that all of the organization will
be educated in this area.
The presentations require an hour
to cover information about this
disease. These presentations are also
available to the community. All that
is required is a phone call. From there
a date will be scheduled.
We would like to thank the General
Managers and department
supervisors that scheduled a
presentation and also to the
employees who participated.
If you are interested in having a
HIVAIDS presentation, please call
to arrange one. These can be held for
the family, individually or groups of
any size.
The Community Health Education
Team can now be reached at 553-4922.
Cook up something tasty "Macy's" is now Warm Springs Market
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Healthy Cooking Classes will be
taught at the Warm Springs Health
and Wellness Center. These classes
will be every Thursday from 5:30
p.m. to 7 p.m. in the kitchen. The
Health and Wellness Center
DietitiansNutritionist and the
Extension Service Home Economist
will be taking turns conducting the
cooking lessons.
Each month will focus on a
different theme and each week's
lesson will be different. Class
members will pet a chance to heln out
and try some new skills every week.
October classes will be about
potatoes, squash, apples, and other
foods that are plentiful in the Fall.
In November and December, we
will focus on Holiday Cooking. Of
course, in all our classes will talk
about low-fat, low-sugar and low
salt cooking and we will have lots of
tasting. Everyone is welcome,
teenagers as well as adults. Come
and join us for lots of fun and good
tasting!
Fall and Winter race schedule 1994
Walktoberfest October 1, at Drake Park, Bend, Oregon. An 8
mile walk, begins at 9:00 a.m., pledges for American Diabetes
Foundation.
Mary's Run. October 8, at the Athletic Club of Bend, Bend,
Oregon. An 8K and 1 mile Run Walk, and a 25 yard kids Run, all
beginning at 9:45 a.m., rolling along Deschutes River.
RQadWarriorsBiathloaOctoberlattheKah-Nee-Ta Village
Resort, Warm Springs, Oregon. 27 mile bike and iOK Run
individuals and teams, beginning at 9:00 a.m. Challenging and
scenic.
Kah-Nee-TaFall Run. October 22, at the Kah-Nee-Ta Village
Resort, Warm Springs, Oregon. A 10K Run, 2 mile Fun Run
beginning at 10:00 a.m. includes prizes and discount swim passes.
Trick or Treat Run, October 29, at the Redmond High School,
Redmond, Oregon. A 10K Run, 10K walk, and 2 mile Fun Run
beginning at 9:30 a.m.. Flat, rolling, and scenic includes costumes
and prizes.
George Wilson Memorial Run. November 26, at the Madras
High School, Madras, Oregon. A 10K Run, 10K Walk, and 2 mile
Fun Run starting at 10:30 a.m. A new course, flat, scenic, call 475
6818 for information.
Jingle Bell Runr December 3 at the Brandis Square, Downtown
Bend, Oregon. A 5K, a 1 mile run walk, and a 200 yard kids run
all beginning at 11:45 a.m. Will be taking Arthritis pledges and
there will be a Christmas parade.
Macy's store is a landmark in
Warm Springs. In the early 1900's
the store was located at Mecca on the
Deschutes River, not too far down
stream from where Shitike Creek
enters into the Deschutes. In 1917,
the store was moved to Warm
Springs. At that time it was known as
H.E. Massey's Trading Post. There
have been a series of remodels and
expansions, but it's still the old Mecca
store.
You've heard the old adage "If
these walls could talk." Well it
certainly applies to Macy's Store.
The store has a rich history and has
been the meeting and greeting place
of Warm Springs for decades.
Dan Macy came to Warm Springs
in 1933. In 1946 he bought out H.E.
Massey. Macy's 51 years in Warm
Springs have spanned many changes
and significant events. Such as World
War II, the Korean Conflict, Viet
Nam, men walking on the moon, the '
assassinations of Martin Luther King
and JFK, the Watergate 'burglary, "
and the collapse of the Soviet Union,
Communism, and family values.
Throughout it all Macy's store has
been there, and for many years was
largely responsible for some people
making it through each winter. Dan
Macy gave credit to people before
there were collection agencies...Dan
Macy traded food and gas for cord
wood....or whatever trade goods
people had. From Macy's store came
the first cable TV system in Central
Oregon. A Laundromat was located
in the basement at the rear of the
store. There was even a television
repair shop in the basement, with
Buster Weigand (The BIA Roads
Department Shop Forman) doing
repairs. Macy's store was the bustling
center of Warm Springs. The fact
that thePostOffice was housed in the
store, with Dan acting as Post Master,
added to the convenience of shopping
at Macy's. While overseeing his
thriving business, helping people
through the hard times, learning
history, culture and traditions from
the elders, Macy still had time to
raise six kids with his wife Priscilla.
One thing that never changes is
change its self. And Macy's Store is
no different. In the early 1980's,
Dan's son Jimmy, and his wife Luana,
took over operation of the store.
Tragedy struck in January of 1993
when Jimmy was killed in an
automobile accident. Jim's wife
Luana continued to operate the store,
but had other career interests and is
now attending school in Salem. On
June 20, 1994,Macy 's Store reopened
as the Warm Springs Market when
Bob and Maria Macy became the
new operators.
Aside from the name change,
which is currently on paper only,
Bob and Maria have definite plans as
to the direction' the store will be
taking. "We need to get the building
back up to where we are performing
a service to the community again,"
Bob Macy says. "We must make
some fundamental building
improvements before we can address
other issues that will get us back to
where we want to be," Macy
continued.
Maria Macy is the woman in
charge of day-to-day operations,
while husband Bob helps her when
he can. Prior to operating the store
Maria was the Personnel Director at
Kah-Nee-Ta. Bob is employed by
the Confederated Tribes as the
Construction Manager. When asked
when he first went to work at the
store, Macy smiles and says, "Oh I
was about five or six. I would come
over to the store every chance I got to
read comic books. When pressed,
Bob says that when he was thirteen
years old, he would hurry to the store
after school to check on wood
deliveries. "I think wood was going
for $ 15 a cord back then and I would
load a whole cord of wood just to get
to drive old 'Yellow'." He worked at
the store until he was 18, at which
time he went to work for Fire
Management, which tied in nicely
with his major at Oregon State
University. Bobby graduated from
OSUin 1963 with a degree in forestry.
Bob was hired by the Bureau of Indian
Affairs, and began his career at
Colville. In 1968 Bob grew
disenchanted with the BIA and
returned to Warm Springs, where he
once again worked at the store. In
1972, Bob returned to his chosen
field of forestry when he became
General Manager of Warm Springs
Forest Products.
Looking into what the future holds
for Warm Springs Market, Bob says
"At one time the store served the
community with well stocked
grocery shelves and a variety of items
that weren't grocery related. We will
serve the community again,
eventually offering certain types of
hardware, tools, household items,
fishing tackle, and selling tribal
fishing licenses." That's good news
for community members who
remember the old Macy's the old
Macy's that even sold color
Television sets when most sets were
black and white.
Store hours, for the time being,
are Monday through Friday from 7
a.m. to 8 p.m., and Saturdays from 8
a.m. to 8 p.m. Currently Warm
Springs Market is closed on S undays.
Long time Macy's Store
employee Ellen Thompson
contributed the following comments
about the significance of Dan Macy
and his store. "There was an honor
and trust relationship between the
"old" people (Wyam Indians that
lived all along the Columbia, in Tygh
Valley area, and various tribes from
Yakama, Idaho, and Oregon) and Dan
Macy. He stored their valuables at no
cost; he was their bank (no service
charge); and he was their interpreter
to the outside world. He kept their
per capita checks in the safe and they
withdrew cash just like at the bank.
Before they did business, the old
people talked to him to see if it was
a good venture. He sponsored the 4th
of July doings when the event was
big time. Dan also donated time,
money, food, and beverages to many
children oriented activities. He
Erovided a Teen Club building for
igh school kids with a juke box and
snacks. He built booths so the kids ,
could do their home work between 7 .
p.m. and 9 p.m. There were teen!
dances every Friday and Saturday
nights. There was also a time when
Dan Macy's Orchestra provided Big
Band music for the Warm Springs
Elementary School dances and people
came from all over Central Oregon
to jitterbug.
There is a private collection of
Indian artifacts that tell an awesome
story of our people, "The Tununma"
located at the back of the store. Also,
livestock brands still grace theceiling
of the store of an era gone by.
When us people say, "Macy's
Store," we say it with a respect,
because Dan Macy is one of us. This
store held the Indian people in high
regard and it treated each customer
with the same respect that the people
had for him."
Finance Department apprentice shines
A Tribal Member, employed by
the finance department, is continuing
her education, raising a family, and
excelling. Excelling is something
Bridget Kalama Culpus is
accustomed to. Although a Tribal
member, Bridget was not raised on
the reservation. Her father, Larson
Kalama, Sr., was unable to find
employment upon returning to Warm
Springs after serving in Viet Nam.
Larson had to leave the reservation
to find his future. He now is close to
retirement, working for the State of
Washington Department of Natural
Resources. Growing up in Yelm,
Washington, Bridget attended an
Indian School in Olympia. The
school, named after a son of a
Puyallup Chief, was founded by her
Grandaunt, Maisell Bridges, and
Grandmother, Edith McCloud.
Bridget became the first graduate of
"Wa-He-Lute". Bridges and
McCloud attended Boarding School
as children, and Bridget says, "They
had to live through that, and they
didn't want us to go through that
(Boarding School)." Upon graduating
from the eighth grade at "Wa-He-Lute",
Bridget attended high school
in Yelm. At the end of her freshman
year she transferred to the St Labre
Indian School in Ashland, Montana,
where she quickly made the honor
roll. Bridget enjoyed attending the
school, which was near the Northern
Cheyenne Reservation, but at the end
of her junior year she returned to
Washington state due to the death of
her Great Grandmother Roseline
Kaninie.
In 1986 she moved to Warm
Springs and started classes at Central
Oregon Community College. The
young lady with the effervescent
smile and sparkling eyes ran for
Happy Canyon Princess at the
Pendleton Round-up in 1987, and
was crowned Miss Warm Springs in
1988.
In 1991, Bridget went to work
full-time in the Finance Department.
Previously she worked as a member
of the Warm Springs Hot Shot crew,
where she met her future husband,
Emerson Culpus. Bridget and
Emerson have since added Emerson
Jr. to the family.
Bridget started as a Finance Clerk
but transferred into the Accounting
Apprenticeship program when the
position became vacant. As a part of
the Accounting Apprenticeship
program she attended Central Oregon
Community College during the
winter and spring terms last year,
and will attend COCC through the
extension program at Warm Springs
this fall.
At COCC she attended a business
practicum. Last spring Bridget was
one of the students participating in a
state competition sponsored by the
Delta Epsilon Chi Sorority. The state
wide competition, focusing on
business marketing, was held at Mt
Hood Community College in
Gresham. Bridget placed first in
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Bridget Kalama Culpus
Management Decision Making and
4th in Finance and credit Winners
from state traveled to Detroit,
Michigan to compete in the nation
wide forum. "Twelve people from
COCC made the trip to Michigan,"
Culpus said. "We competed with over
athousandpeople."Shedidn'tplace,
but the experience was
"unbelievable," according to Bridget.
The National finals lasted a week,
with Delta Epsilon Chi picking up all
expenses except food. Bridget said
the Tribe donated $100 for food for
her and $100 for fellow Tribal
Member Gayleen Adams.
Bridget has set a goal of getting
her associates degree in Science
through COCC, and eventually
becoming a Certified Public
Accountant (CPA). "I've gotten a lot
of support from so many
people... .especially Bonnie
Langeliers! I don't think I would
have made it without her," Culpus
says. Bridget said she would like to
thank the finance staff and also the
Work Experience Development
Department for being so supportive.
Bridget Kalama Culpus has done
very well. Her magnetic personality
is enjoyed by all. She has received
support and encouragement from
many people. Being the first graduate
from "Wa-He-Lute" Indian school
in Olympia, Washington, she is a roll
model for those who have come
sincc.nd of course, there is the
matter of two people, Maisell Bridges
and Edith McGoud, who started the
"Wa-He-Lute" school so people like
Bridget could excel without
experiencing the same harassment
they faced from non-Indians so many
years ago.
Those who know Bridget would
agree that the "Wa-He-Lute" school
has served Indian youth well. Bridget
Culpus is a fin example of what can
be accomplished when the family
places education number one!
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A familiar face? Former Presbyterian minister Cal Chinn (left) was in Warm Springs recently and stopped by for a
visit with Hamilton Greeley. Chinn came north from his home in Alameda, California for a short vacation and,
according to Greeley, was pleased and amazed at the changes that ha ve taken place since his departure more than 15
years ago. (Photo courtesy of Ham Greeley)
HIV Testing at the Health and Wellness Center
In these days when HIVAIDS (Human Immunodeficiency Virus)( Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome)
are in the forefront, people are faced with looking at their own personal lifestyles and practices.
FACTS
1) HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. 2) A diagnosis of AIDS may occur 1 to 10 years after infection by the
virus. 3) HIVAIDS is recognized as a sexually transmitted disease. 4) You can protect yourself from this deadly
virus. 5) We emphasize safe sex practices and discuss ways to prevent blood to blood contact 6) Some clients
are simply curious and would like a test, perhaps due to having multiple sex partners in the past 7) HIV testing
is offered to anyone with a diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, to those entering drug or alcohol treatment
programs and to pregnant women. 8) The HIV test is strictly voluntary. 9) Test is CONFIDENTIAL 10) HI V Test
results are not given over the phone. 1 1) Nurses or Primary Providers (Doctors, Physician Assistants or Nurse
Practitioners) must counsel clients who request testing.
Counseling is an important element to assess the clients knowledge and understanding of the disease and
personal risk factors. An appointment within one week for follow-up post test counseling is also necessary. At
this session, the nurse or provider discusses the results, reviews risk factors and assesses w hcther further testing
is necessary.
If you have any question or requests for specific information in future articles, please contact Christine
Burnell, R.N., HIVAIDS Coordinator at the Warm Springs Health and Wellness Center, 553-1 196 Ext 4631
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