Page 2 June 13,1980
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Spilyay Tymoo
C
Deepak and Poonam
k “typical” Indian wedding to unite strangers
by Donna Behrend
Ninety-nine percent of us
would never dream of marrying
a stranger. But that is exactly
what tribal employee Deepak
Sehgal is doing this Sunday.
D e e ’s fia n c e e , P o o n a m
Loomba, is from Punja, India,
and just arrived in Madras
early last week with her
parents.
Dee has been working for the
Tribe as water master since last
year. Because Dee’s office is
located in the Spilyay Tymoo
building, I have had the
opportunity to talk frequently
with him about his impending
marriage to the girl he had
never met.
Dee appeared to be a bit
uneasy about the life-long
commitment arranged by his
father and the father of his
fiancee. I asked Dee if I might
do an article about his fiancee,
their upcoming wedding, and
the culture that requires pre
arranged weddings.
When I arrived at the
restaurant for the interview,,
Poonam and Dee sat across
from one another like they had
known each other for years,
smiling and laughing at private
jokes they had already begun to
share. From Dee’s apparently
anDrehensive attitude, it was a
sight I had not expected.
Poonam and Dee’s families
are distantly related through
in-laws and have been friends
for years. However, Dee and
Poonam had never met. On one
visit. Dee’s father expressed to
Poonam’s father that he was
“looking for a girl” for Dee.
Arrangements were made, with
no financial strings attached,
and a short time later the two
were engaged via lo n g
distance.
This sounded unusual to my
western ears and it was very
hard for me to understand such
an arrangement. Poonam, who
s p e a k s f lu e n t E n g lis h ,
Deepak Sehgal (right) and fiancee Poonam Loomba
explained that it is not an
“unusual” occurence in India,
but rather a fact of life. “It may
sound cold to you,” she
explained, “but we’re raised
with the custom. It’s expected.”
T rad itio n ally, in India,
children have absolutely no
input into such marriage
arrangements and no choice of
mates. Dee and Poonam
explained that their marriage is
one of mutual consent and that
if either had objected, their
parents wouldn’t have forced
them to marry. I hey also told
me that if they were in India,
they would never have even
seen each other prior to the
marriage, unless perhaps once
with a chaperone.
They exchanged only two
letters prior to Poonam ’s
arrival in the states. The letters
w e re a c c o m p a n ie d by
Watch for the
Confederated Tribes’
float (#14) on TV
J Starting Saturday, 9:30 am
* * * * * * *
SPILYAY TYMOO STAFF * * * * * *
*
MANAGING E D IT O R ............................................................ Sid Millar
ASSISTANT E D IT O R ...................................................Sandy Ranglla
PHOTOGRAPHIC SPECIALIST/WRITER................. Olnay Pott Jr.
REPORTER/PHOTOGRAPHERS
Donna Behrend
Roger Stwyer
Marsha Shewczyk
TYPESETTER...................................................Priscilla Squlemphen
FOUNDED IN MARCH OF 1976
Published bi-weekly by the Confederated Tribes of the
W a rm Springs R e s e rv a tio n of O regon. W a rm Springs,
Oregon 97761. Located in the Old Administration Building.
Any written m aterial to Spilyay Tymoo should be addressed
to:
Spilyay Tymoo
P. O. Box 735
W arm Springs, Oregon 97761
Phone 553-1644 or 553-1161, E xt. 274
Subscription Rate 66.00 per year
1
photos....they knew what each
other looked like, but very little
else. To their surprise and
delight they have discovered
that they “think alike,” says
Dee. “It may have something to
do with our education.”
Dee was raised and educated
in Ireland and received a degree
in Chemical Engineering from
University of Manchester in
England. Poonam attended a
convent school run by English
nuns in northern India for 11
years, many miles away from
her family. When she returned
hom e she a tte n d e d the
University of Punjab and
received an MA in English and
a profession degree in teaching
(comparative to a BA in the
states).
So that their marriage will be
recognized in the United
States, Dee and Poonam were
m arried a t the Jefferson
C ounty C ourt House on
W ednesday, June 11. It
seemed unfortunate to me that
they had to be married twice
just to keep everyone happy.
“It’s just something we had to
do. It’s no big deal,” Dee said
nonchalantly.
The official Indian wedding
will be held Sunday at Satish
Puri’s home. Satish is a first
cousin to Dee, and it was he
who brought Dee’s family to
the Madras area. The wedding,
which in India usually takes
anywhere from two to five
hours, will be shortened to a
brief hour or so.
Poonam savs the wedding
will be “typical” Indian style.
Her idea of typical amused me,
for a priest is traveling from
Vancouver B.C. to marry them
and the ceremony will be
recited in Sanskrit, which is the
classical language of India.
The ceremony will begin
with the garlanding. Dee and
his entire family will to go
Satish’s home where Poonam
and her parents have been
staying. Poonam will then
place a garland of flowers
around Dee’s neck and he in
turn will do the same to her.
Traditionally, marriages take
place in the evening and the
girl’s family serves a huge lunch
follow ing the g a rla n d in g
ceremony before the wedding.
But for practical purposes, the
lunch will be omitted and will
be combined with the reception
following the ceremony.
The “law as,” or wedding is
next. The actual ceremony
involves the priest and Dee and
Poonam walking four times
around the holy fire. In the first
three circles around the fire, the
priest will explain D ee’s
responsibilities to him. In the
last circle, the priest will tell
Poonam that Dee will assume
his responsibilities. The four
trips around the fire will make
Poonam and Dee husband and
wife.
Following the ceremony, the
two will go to Dee’s house,
where Poonam will receive
clothing from Dee’s family-.
This “doli” is a symbolic of
Dee’s family’s acceptance of
Poonam and her acceptance of
them.
India’s social structure is a
caste system, now illegal, but
still in existence. Dee and
Poonam happen to be in the
same social level, but they
assured me that even if they had
been on different levels, it
wouldn’t have mattered. “It
just didn’t apply to us,” they
said.
Dee and Poonam will be
living in an apartment in
Madras. Poonam says that this
area is very similar to India.
“It’s the kind of place I’ve
always wanted to stay.”
Getting into their hair
The Hair Bear has recently
opened its doors under new
management. Both men and
women are making appoint
ments with Billy Jo McCon-
nville to have their hair cut,’
styled, colored or oiled. She
also does manicures. Senior
citizens are offered a reduced
rate and given extra special
care.
Billy Jo has waited a long
time to have her own shop. She
graduated trom beauty school
many years back. For seven
years she worked in and around
Lebanon and Sweet Home,
Oregon.
Unfortunately the
chemicals at that time were
very harsh and she found it
impossible to work with them.
Now, she says, “the products
are milder” and she can work
with them.
Because Billy Jo was out of
the hairstyling business for
many years she had to take her
state examination over. She
has been re-licensed.
An
appointment can be made by
calling 553-1476.
A beauty shop at Kah-Nee-
Ta is her hope for the future.
Until then she is content
working in the mobile unit
beside Macy’s store. She:
says, “I’ve waited a long time to
do what I wanted, getting into
people’s hair and being paid for
it.
Finishing Touches-SVy/isf, Billy Jo M cConville helps Edna
Sanders get ready fo r the weekend.