Capital AJournal
An Independent Newspaper Established 1888
GEORGE PUTNAM, Editor and Publisher
ROBERT LETTS JONES, Assistant Publisher
Published every afternoon except Sunday at 444 Che
meketa St., Salem. Phones: Business, Newsroom, Want
Ads, 2-2406; Society Ecitor, 2-2409.
Full Leased Wire Service of the Associated Press and
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entitled to the use foi publication of all news dispatches
credited to it or otherwise credited in this paper and olso
news published therein.
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4 Salem. Oregon. Tuesday, March 21, 1950
Lopping Off Protection
The status of the dam projects in the Willamette valley
basin is uncertain at this time. Word has not been received
from Washington, D.C., yet to indicate the specific projects
which are scheduled to receive money for next year.
At stake during this uncertainty is proper development
of the Willamette valley itself.
The 1938 authorization for the valley projects called for
seven dams. Three hav6 been constructed. Those are at
Fern Ridge, Cottage Grove and Dorena. Two more are
being constructed. Those are at Detroit and Meridian.
The other two of the seven projects were abandoned. The
abandoned projects were at Sweet Home and Quartz Creek.
In each case three dams on tributaries were substituted.
It is with those substitute projects that the uncertainty
lies. Major Gpneral Pick, chief of army engineers, indicat
' ed that present authority for the Willamette valley basin
was adequate to permit substitution of the projects. But
apparently the director of the budget and the chief engin
eer don't agree. The director of the budget left out two of
the three substitute dams on the South Santiam river and
one of the three substitute dams on the McKenzie river.
Since the dams are built for flood protection purposes,
the number of dams obviously controls the amount of pro
tection to be offered. But for President Truman's pro
gram at this time, the benefits to cost of the individual
dams is what counts. That's why some were lopped off.
However, if it takes three dams to curb flood waters in the
South Santiam, for instance, then one dam won't be very
effective.
'Pure Coincidence'
The political party war drums are beating. The faithful
of the parties are gathering for the coming May primary
election battles. And the "non-political" junkets are well
under way.
The democrats purely by chance are going to bring
the great white father into Oregon to see if enough demo
crats can be inspired to break the republican hold on the
state. President Truman is going to make another one of
those non-political visits to the west.
Announcement of his coming was made at a political
rally in Klamath Falls by the national democratic commit
teeman for Oregon, Monroe Sweetland. The coincidence
of the Truman visit so close to the primary and the an
nouncement by Sweetland at a gathering of the faithful
had nothing to do with the presidential tour being strictly
a political show of strength. Oh, no not that. And
strictly by chance, too, the democratic national committee
man from the state of Washington revealed the same day
that Truman and Vice President Barkley would be in Spo
kane for a dinner for democrats in the middle of May.
But let no one suggest that there was some plan tieing
the similar announcements by the two national committee
men. And the fact that the notices were made at special
meetings ot party followers was another bit of sheer coincidence.
Yes, it's spring. And the political sap is beginning to
run again.
Planes for British
Last October the military assistance program went in
to effect. That was the program to give arms aid to sign
ers of the North Atlantic pact. Monday a new phase of
that program took form. The first batch of American
B-29s took off for Great Britain.
Behind this military assistance program is a determin
ation to strengthen the collective defenses of the free na
tions of Europe. When the United States senate voted to
accept the Atlantic pact, our nation then admitted there
no longer was any hope of staying clear of Europe's prob
lems. The military assistance program was assigned to
achieve three fundamentals of military preparedness:
Manpower, materinls, and suitable positions from which
to employ them. The North Atlantic nations had plenty
of manpower reserves and strong defensive positions but
they lacked armaments. The treaty called for a pooling
of resources to make up for the lack of armaments.
The military assistance program is an essential part
of the country's foreign policy. It likewise is an integral
part of the nation's defense program. How long it will
be necessary to supply arms is anybody's guess.
So long as Russia continues its avowed policy to rule
the world, however, the arms program will have to be kept
in force, along with the other points of an aggressive
United States foreign policy.
Reunite Sisters After 32 Years
Chicago, March 21 W) Two slaters who became separated
from their only brother ai children In 1918 were reunited
last night and learned they had lived 10 blocks from him
for the last 15 years.
The reunion was In the home of Mrs. Rose Gambrrdlne,
$5. She and her sister, Mrs. Pauline Rieck, 37, had not seen
their brother, Orlando P. Salerno, SI, since they were sepa
rated during the 1918 influenia epidemic.
Salerno learned a few months ago that he had sisters
-vhen he obtained his birth certificate In a loyalty checkup
t the naval ordnance plant where he Is a painter. After
further Investigation he located his sisters.
BY BECK
Wives
WASHINGTON "MERRY-GO-ROUND
BY CARL ANDERSON
P&, (LOOK ME IN THE 6YE-ARE)fc'f ,
ej2 YOU BURS THAT DOCTOR SC. ftf
St&l rlll ( SAID YOU HAD AN ALLERGY TOXS&yf $
Czech Communists Ousted to Henry
Make Way for Russian Rule
By DREW PEARSON
Washington One day last December, an American newsman
walked up to a stocky, pipe-smoking diplomat in the delegates'
lounge at the United Nations Vladimir Clementis, foreign min
ister of Czechoslovakia.
"Mr. Minister," said the newsman, "what's this I hear about
a purge in the
foreign office in
Prague?"
"Ridiculous!"
"A purge
which, they say,
might even
eliminate
"A b s
ridiculous,
here
you
print something
true about my
, why don't IUU la 1 J
fellows HJ
Drew Peirion
country? Why don't you tell the
story of our great advances in
JJSfS K5TW. singlet
Wherry whispered "Now let's
give him a rough time."
So, many republicans Joined
southern democrats in trailing
out of the senate chamber.
Stung by this insult Hum
phrey lashed back at Byrd with
facts instead of oratory He also
offered to meet Byrd any time in
open debate, even sent several
radio interviewers to try to ar
range it. So far, Byrd has not
accepted the challenge.
NOTE What also burned up
Humphrey was the way admin
istration democrats left him to
0j-nO-Cprv-rw Wj r
Cay. ITU Kit try l. H, W. -rU n-W, -mr--.
KRISS-KROSS
called the White House and
complained bitterly: "Every time
I have been to the White House,
the communist regime, instead of ZZ'JL, Ao...ti T
purges!
Clementis wouldn't call them
silly rumors today. He has now President Truman has spent part
Deen purged. o the time telling me what a
NOTE Reason for the latest menace Byrd is to liberal gov-
Czech purge probably was to ernment. But where where my
pave the way for a complete democratic friends when I took
taking over of Czechoslovakia on Byrd?"
by Russia. Hitherto the country
has been run by Czech commun- POWER LOBBY PICKS
thls was It ists. But Poland is now under The potent oil lobby and the
this was a coast-to-coast broadcast ... throats got their final aicuuorsnip oi a nussian electric power interests are now
clearing ... the technician's arm signalled the crucial moment general ana mm win prooauiy planning meir poiiucs several
... the 84-voice Willamette university a capella choir was to be J.llow ln oth; satellite coun- years ahead. When a senator op-
heard over a coast-to-coast Mutuel broadcast ne hookuD. ' ""--"'" s'"'B F".e me..., me, uegm giuum.
The actual, i
Everything Went Fine,
Except One Little Detail
By CHRIS KOWITZ, Jr.
Rehearsals had been completed the day before . . ,
i
oJcJ
POOR MAN'S PHILOSOPHER
AMDBCfaQM d
isn'tf
until
broadcast
scneauiea uning
April 8 . . . but'
a tape recording
of the half-hour,;
show was made!
ln Waller hall
Saturday. . .
Everyone per
formed at his
best, with just
the right
amount of tense
ness. . . . After it was all over,
the singers all uttered a sigh of
UtU-1
unrest.
ing opposition for him and in
one case North Dakota have
already picked a candidate.
He is North Dakota's Gov.
Fred Aandahl. who will run
against Sen. Bill Langer in 1952
Why Is a Thing Funny?
Why Do FolksYukat Keokuk?
somewhat embarrassed when
the tree took a different route, TAXATION HUMOR
smashing into the courthouse High taxes brought a fusillade
building. Courthouse suffered of forensics from congressional
extensive broken windows and republicans last week.
a smashed roof. "Sunnnse a vniinff man ripniHps ,
If it can work in Greenville to propose." oDined congressman 7. .i " ?, m ,p?sl" Walter Kiernan. a radio humorist who figures he has turned
accidentally, it ought to work Bob Rich of Pennsylvania "He ,"!, , J, i " 1,1 Z Zs.l? 1 out some 75,000 gage in the last six years.
By HAL BOYLE
New York (IP) When a man writes 12,500 jokes a year, he
Th Ton crowd is sore at Langer uht to know a thing f lunny ? n0t, .. ,
cause'of ..."But there are some things you just ; can't explain,' sa d
Chris Kowlta, Jr.
in Salem with a bit of pre- has to pay 20 per cent tax on . fish The oil compames "Take the K"
tre;h?h:Z "ZIZ l. "2 ring. Then an- toPtof und. Jor ex-
- - uura ma. u.i ine weuuing uiig. Draicino him for vptninff the tiHp- ample r or aume
well-aimed fall of the largest And suppose in due time they fands biU reason u if the
tree on the lawn ought to do the acquire an offspring. Governor Aandahl on the funniest sound
job quite effectively. ..xhen the taxes reaIly start other hand came Qut ,'n avor rf in the language.
T5-i..u.n . .. 20 per cent on baby oil. baby irivinB tidciands nil in th ctto. No one knows
rplief . . one of the Birl soloists i i - powder, babv lotion and babv u,hih n tv. nnct hi... im..j u why. But all
- . suni-'is; oiggesi Bpuiause during .. - ..... ... .au , . .
left then and there for a week's assembly honoring state champs creams" chiefly to the big oil companies. vou hav l do
trip. at Salem high school Monday Mom and sis also had a de- Langer and Aandahl are also 18 SW crooKiyn
But, after the half hour pro- went to Dick Norton ... it fender in representative Les on opposite sides of the fence on r ri&oken or
gram had been reeled off smooth- was Dick who saved the day Arends of Illinois. "And when the power issue, Aandahl going aaImlarZ0 I
ly and without a blemish, the for the Vikings in the quarter- the tax gougers made up their along with the power companies e"K an?
technician discovered one little finals opposite Jefferson of 'sucker' list," Arends said. "You against public power and the Pe5;,
.t:. ... tu. ,nnA V....1 KonirD., T3nin ...u u ,u - muies were oiaceo at me ion ivxibsuun vaiiev auinoniv.
Blip-up. . . a lie lap13 uiiipiiu wjivjii lie onui me Lie- , , . ... .
during the first two minutes of ing basket with only 2 seconds and yu have been there, ever (copyrigbt i
the broadcast, and the last 28 remaining to play . . . Viks went slnce'
minutes had just gone through on to win in overtime . . . "These are not 'luxuries'," kArKFhJ7IF' mi 1 1 MM
Members of the a capella the tournament play of Jim toilet articles and cosmetics,
group didn't believe It when they f Al McRae of the "The American way of life has
were first informed of the tape's 1940 Salem state champs . . . made these articles as essential
hrpalctna thpv thoueht it Rock and McRae were lnstru- to vou women as shaving to men-
wa i somebody's idea of a joke mental winning the state folks. The truth is that the Wash-
When the vacation ng solo: crown, with their sparkling '"gton tax-masters regard you
Wtidwiten2.1 backboard work, says Hauk . . women as a 'so t touch'"
st returns a lew days nence, ana r.irnrt' mn.i Rep. Edith Nourse Rogers ol
tne B4 songsters are rounaea up - -" "" Massachusetts
ever got on the stage came when
he stepped out and said, 'My
name is Benny Kubelsky'
which is his real name. But
the audience died laughing."
Sal Borto
British and Dutch Prepare
Dominion Status in Islands
not to be out-
. memorable moment of the tour- Massachu
to ao a re-Droaacasi, mayoe rfnno ant ii, nino w hp
they'll then be convinced that 7nas "mt accepting tne f ,From , . proceeding among both the British and the Dutch Colonial pos.
Unfortunately a jokesmlth can
not just keep saying "Keokuk,
Tfpnlriilr Vpnlriilr " likp a flatten
ed trainwheel. He has to go on
to other things to earn his yuks.
"Another standby In the trade
is known as the rule-of-three
Joke." said Kiernan. "For in-
"The first laugh Jack Benny stance, if you say 'she is not only
pretty . . . sne is not oniy
wealthy but she is also stupid
well, a certain percentage of
people will think that remark is
mildly lunny. ine sequence
builds up to an anti-climax."
Always popular also is the
"rule of opposites" or "upside
down joke." Example: Instead of
saying, "drink is the curse of
the working man, you turn It
around: "Work is the curse of
By DeWITT MacKENZIE
ion PoreltD Affair AobItiD
One of the most dramatic political developments of our day is jhe drinking man."
iM.Jinn nmnnrt kn(h th. T3l141i ani4 thn Ttllt.h Pnlnnial TUIL. . . . ti
-l i x. iniRs. "From trip timp thpv apt kiu'b o..iuna M.c c , - -mere are aozens oi similar
the tape really broke. announced as a member of the up ln tne morning men pay a sessions in the great Caribbean area but with such little fanfare tricks, but Kiernan doesn't be-
Here's another suggestion on all-state team . . . when asked fax .on everything," she said, that thus far it has attracted small attention. lieve anybody can become a sue-
how to economically tear down to seak at Monday's assembly, melr p.a)amas V lnelr al.n What is happening is that each of these widely distributed blocs "37"' """' ""
4U. alJ .n.lhnM.a. Rlrnd aalri hp wno t 11 rppunpr. . . men
Workmen in Greenville, Miss., ating from the scrambled eggs
razor and hair tonic
every-
of territory and
the mother
a.u....bu Be ui it i uic m
... . .. . , . . liiiiik Liiev eat icir nrpaKiafic
were to tail a large tree on tne ana peas . . . saiem team naa - ----- ,"," ": countries are
courthouse lawn there. Traffic been fed that weird food com- ana lnat all-important discussing the
was cleared to permit the fall bination for lunch on the after- Democrats seemed to eniov the creation of do-
1( (h. .I.W TOn-lrm.n ,r nnnn nf thp ahamninnthln oamp UemOCratS SeemeQ 10 enjoy tne
u,lu 1 f e thnw n mtir.h oe pmiMioana iininvma.
finq Saucers Are Real to Him
Los Angeles, March 21 (IP) Not only has S. K. Bennett
seen a flying saucer, but he's also been floored by one.
A stafe member of Angelus temple, Bennett was helping
set the stage there yesterday for an Illustrated sermon on
"flying saucers and men from Mars."
A stage prop "saucer" got out of control, slid down a
wire too fast and knocked Bennett down. He was treated for
a gashed leg.
AILING INDUSTRY
Coal Worries Producers,
Workers and Government
(Editor'ji note: Prwdlfnt Truman says thp coal Industry Is "sick." H ha
asked contTTMu to authorize a coal commission to study the Industry. There
Is no Indication whether connrfAS will take such action or. If It does creatt
a commission, how lona It will take to complete It.-, work. The Industry, mean
white. Is loflni markets to other fuels. There Is less work for the miners. The
United Pre has discussed the situation with industry, labor and kovemment
officials. Here are the findings In three dispatches; (I How sick ts the In
dustry? i3) The fuels which are tnklnn away conl markets. (3) Coal's future
ana effort belni made to make It more profitable.)
By ROBERT E. LEE
TJnltttt PrMS Staff Corrtapondrnt
Washington, March 21 u.R How sick is the coal industry?
Will it lose even more markets to oil and natural gas when
customers feel the effects of price rises resulting from the new
wage and welfare benefits won by John L. Lewis?
lowing formulas.
... . j, "It can't really be taught at
The British are proceeding to a ,. he said ..,, jugt an aU,
the goal of dominion status tude o mind , douM gome
along somewhat different lines of the best gagwriter. even can
from the Dutch The British read It isnt eMential, certainly."
propose to establish a federa-
tion first, and from this launch Kiernan, a pleasant, easy-go-dominion
status. The Dutch lng man of 48i lhwl utUe ot
plan to proceed direct to the the ltrain that aMlict, many
creation of two dominions.
laughter merchants. He doesn't
These
....til rfn o tt..u c -j dominions
Vinn Smirore ArO Kuril fn Him Pennsylvania tparfnllv rppitpri would have SOV-
. i.iaw v. w v. J f-ti w w . w . . . . . . " j u ..
. ' . . ... ... . . "Nn kakv nil w ereignty but
man would remain a
Bareback babe, with cheecks Part oI thelr - jtf J I The suggested capital of the have an ulcer, one hallmark of
of tan. respective com- British federation is Trinidad, success In this clan, nor does he
By the rule of Uncle Sam monwealths. lmiejtiMmmmM That big island is strategically support a staff of psychiatrists.
You're a luxury, little lamb. The fundamen- located and has a magnificent This may be because he sped-
The skin we loved .to touch impulse behind these projects harbor capable of accommodat- alizes ln what Is called "Thro-
with powder is similar in both cases, and is ing the entire navy of a major away humor," casual pleasan-
We sadly pat while you yell succinctly summarized by an au- power at one time. tries aimed at stirring chuckles
louder; thoritative British source in Territorially British Guiana Is instead of the explosive yuks
So now you know, my little dealing with its own project: the biggest unit in this sprawl- which are the goal of high-pres-
man, "During the past 20 years it Ing group, having an area of sure boff artists, such as Milton
Why mama votes republican." has been recognized more and 83,000 square miles. This colony Berle.
' more that a group of neighbor- is a potential treasure house, for During a 70-minute morning
BYRD BATTLE ing colonies can gain economic it reaches far back into an un- broadcast, interspersed with
The senate hasn't seen the end and social advantages by co- developed jungle area which is phonograph records, Walter gen
of the feud between Minnesota's operating and by sharing their known to possess great riches erates a minimum of 30 low
breezy, young senator, Hubert resources; and in some areas the in gold and other minerals, as Pressure wisecracks on news of
Humphrey and Virginia's apple- results of administrative cen- well as valuable woods. There 'he day, and tosses them off spon
cheeked senator Harry Byrd. tralization. particularly in the also is much rich soil, capable taneously. But it takes him an
Humphrey is still trying to technical fields have been very of great agricultural develop- nour-and-a-half of hard writ
sprinkle salt on Byrd's tail. encouraging. One of the areas ment. Bauxite, from which al- inS to develop and whip into
The brash Minnesotan raided that stands to gain from central- uminum is made, is mined In Pae"J the 20 gags he packs in-
Byrd's favorite nest, the senate ization is the British West In- the coastal area. t0 a ve-minute ABC network
PPHnnmV rnmmlttpo Xlrifh a AiB ...kar.a man., n tha nnl. Tl 1 14 I I -t- - 1 Program.
-- ...... a uica. mice 111011 ... x-emapa 11 IB UCCdUK inC Bl- "Vn.l nan't write. ham K a
charge that instead of saving onies are small and poor in nat- ready is doing well, and ex- , ", ,. . n .; . .
"L'V" few year, you find you can write
riches, that British Guiana has them b reflex 0ne loke sets
been makina rpsprvatlnn- ahnut .. .
This broueht the Bvrd forces t .. m .... .... ou. me stage ior tne next one
Those are the question, being asked today by producers, by ,0 the senate floor in full array, of the Caribbean area you will nasn't decided to join and may "tTl?
Aiore renutillcan!: ann llivipnrat -!..-!: 1 i w ..ao w
. see me vd.L BiKiiixiuctiii.e ui iiiese iiul.
money it was wasting money. He ural resources."
pointed out that the committee
hadn t even met for two years.
ffovernment economists, and
quietly by Lewis and his Unit- production costs by holding turned out to defend Byrd than develoDments Take the British
ine Workers. wages in line. listened to the debate on the area first-
sound right as well as read
. . . right."
ine uutcn group is,, ol course, Unike manv comdians. Ker-
Round Trip With Death
Martin, Tex.. March 21 W) Earl Hancock. Jr., of Martin
Recently hitchhiked to Huntsville, 125 miles away, where he
Is a student at Sam Houston State college.
His first ride was with Cart Allen. Martin tombstone sales
man. Then he was picked up by a salesman for a casket com
pany. Next, an undertaker.
Hitchhiking back, he caught a ride with three men enroute
to a funeral. When they dropped him he was picked up by
( minister on his way to visit a man in the state penitentiary's
death row.
He told his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Earl Hancock, Sr., about
it. They took him back to school in the family car.
cd Mil
some son coai operators an- iney place most ot tne oiame marsnan plan ana Atlantic pact. faP ,m.iier ti nhlpf unit i. th. ""
nounced price increases last for the Industry's position on One by one they lambasted - Britlsh Possessions reach .,..'1; rsitTrnl i18," e'n 4 keep a card fUe of
week to cover at least part of Lewis, because labor represents Humphrey, who couldn't get a from British Guiana, on the At- ' l le. , fXn "f j..u , , ,
the 23 cents a ton they estimate 60 per cent of their costs. word in edgewise. When he fin- lantic coast of South America, - oon nn (hi (S u Wh.enZou ve ",ed a.Joke' U
the new coal contract will cost But the miners' Immovable d the floor, the Byrd clear across the Caribbean to f"';h0" m, ' ,$1 th.r. btter to 'ow it away " he said,
them. Jeader has Ws own problems rces drifted out, left hlmto Brlttah Honduras That area al- ,JJ 'You e.n't keep yourself alive
Other producer. - and re- generated by the same force. W to a near-empty chamber. fr.i"cl"d ,Jama'"' Sta the DutS possession. Ll? 1 F 8 t0 keeP ld j0ke,
tailers-are expected to follow which have the operators on the Bouncing Senator Ken Wherry Tnn.dad Tobago and the Brit- h. , Lh .'T. aUve' ...
suit soon. ,pot. Labor is the human fac- ? Nebraska, the republican n 's'anas in tne leewara ana pmr,riin An,h.
tor in the picture leader, actually hustled among winawara groups.
But they are moving cautious- in a contracting industry 'he republicans urging them to In total figures this means an
ly. Many will try to absorb as which only in war years has leave Humphrey stranded "This area of 99,982 square miles with
nmcn ol tne aaneci cosi as pos- provided better than an average u' lven us a rougn lime," a population ot .,68,uuu.
Ible to keep from driving more 0f 185 working davs annually
consumers to other fuels. Lewis is trying to maintain daily rBCki rtniiii
For coal, which powered the wages to compensate for reduced UrtN FORUM
world's industrial revolution and HpmnnH fnr labor.
Time-Saving Daylight
until recently has been the only
important source of industry's Next to labor, transportation
energy, is losing ground rapidly Is the biggest factor in coal's
in the fuel market. dollar troubles. Freight rates
In some parts of the country, and higher pay for the miner.
it nas priced nseit out already have joined to double the aver
the group comprising Aruba, He avoids dialect Ink. ,inm
Curacao and Bonaire. They have bomb Jokes ("it's too serious to
a population of 148.000. ioke about" V nr HaWn.ii.
Surinam and the West Indies words uch an hlinH rininlr
form two distinct units Actually olind date, cock-eyed or cross
Surinam has a brand new con- eyed.
stitution which gives it com- "Anyone who has a deformity
plete autonomy in its internal doesn't think It's funny," said
affairs. This is intended to be an Hiernan.
interim affair, leading to the What is his funniest joke? He
commonwealth project. A simi- doesn't know hut thp nn pnni.H
To the Editor: A tribute of gratitude is due, in a measure, 1" interim constitution has been most often by other humorist
to our savers of daylight, acknowledging a much greater praise offered the wt Indies, but it was his story of how he made
if in using saving-daylight, a most logical manner is used by al- XLtJ.'"' ele1'-iC ,blanket bV usin
because of rising production and age price of coal delivered since lowing our clocks to continue in truth. And applying a prudent islands. but had to cive it iin "hppaii
transportation costs combined World War II began. exercise of our will in a benefitting manner. Dutch
ii we arise at ine present time at six o clock, set the alarm dial u'i n a vasi potential Duttered on both sides '
with the greater availability Producers insist the coal in-
and comparatively lower price dustry isn't sick. One says:
trends of oil and natural gas. "It onlv looks that wav be.
cause of the pallor Lewis and earner ana iook up 10 me ciock in trutn.
The coal producers' answer his labor monopoly have cast MRS. MAE A. HOVENDEN
to this new competition is: Chop on it." Box 247, Et. 1, Hubbard
at five o'clock. Or whatever time you arise, arise one hour wealtn in ll undeveloped "Everybody seemed to pick
ju..B..a. . .i ton. cauui tun mm one ud. h m Mprnan wrv.
to $7,000,000 annually Its main ly. "They were all being thrown
export is bauxite and most of out of bed covered with marmar.'"
toil goes to the United States, lade or toasted on both legs."