Capital Jpournal
, Salem, Oreson
Ad Independent Newspaper Published Every Afternoon Except Sunday
at 1 36 8. Commercial Street. Telephone 81; Newe 83
G KOI tOU PUTNAM,
Entered as second claaji mall
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
By carrier 10 eenta a week. 45
By mall, In Marion and Polk
montha si. 26. t niontha 2.26. 1
month. S5 a vear In advance.
FULL l.liASia) IVIItK ASKOt'lATKIl I'HKSS KUIIVICE
The Associated Press Is eiclualvely entitled to the uae tor publica
tion of all news dlaatches credited to It or not otherwise credltod In
this paper and also local news published horeln.
"Without or with offense to friends or foes
I sketch your world exactly as it goes." byron.
Honoring Adam and Eve
When Mark Twain in his travels in the Holy Land, dis
covered the tomb of Adam, the first man, he wept copiously
as nature asserted itself. In "Innocents Abroad, he thus de
picts his profound emotions:
Tho tomb ol Adam! How touching It was, here In a land of
strangers, far away from home and friends, and all who cared for
mo, thus to discover the grave of a blood relation. True a distant one,
but still a rclntlon. The unerring instinct of nature thrilled its
recognition. The fountain of my filial affection was stirred to its
profoundest depths and I gave way to tumultuous emotion. I leaned
upon a pillar and hurst Into tears. I deem it no shame to have wept
over tho grave of my poor dead relative. Let him who would sneor
at my emotion closo this volume here, for ho will find little to his
taste In my journeyings through the Holy Land. Noblo old man
he did not live to see me he did not live to see his child. And I
I alas, I did not livo to see him. Weighed down by sorrow and
disappointment, he died before I was born six thousand brief sum
mers before I was born. But let us try to bear it with fortitude Let
us trust that be is better off whore he Is. Let us take comfort in
the thought that his loss is our eternal gain.
A futile effort was afterwards made to erect a monu
ment in America to the memory of Adam by public subscrip
tion, but to the eternal shame of descendants, the project
failed. During all those centuries, however, Eve has been
shameefully neglected, not even her grave being marked,
and it has remained for Robert Quillen, noted newspaper
paragrapher to atone for the neglect and pay proper tribute
to our common mother. In the front yard of his home at
Fountain Inn, S. C, he has erected a monument to her
memory, the first, he says, that mankind has erected in G000
years of history.
On the marble shaft is inscribed "In memory. Eve, the
first woman" and to make it harmonious he has had a "nice
ly carved apple with a twig and leaf" placed below the in-,
scription. But ho stated that tho neighbors' stared at the
monument with incredulous horror. In explanation, Mr.
Quillen says:
"I'm sorry, I never hurt anybody's feeling or offonded against
. anybody's pet superstitions. This is purely a family affair. Eve
was a fuir and charming lady and deserves a finer monument thau
I have provided for her. It is almost incredible that after over 6000
years of history nono of her kinsmen have erected a stone to her
memory. Eve was a distant relative of mine on my mother's side,
the first lady of tho land, a reigning belle of her day and the monu
ment is an effort to atone for tho unpardonable negk-t of her by
her posterity."
An historically correct memorial to Eve should be in the
form of a rib garlanded with fig leaves, with a serpent coiled
about it, surmounted by the forbidden fruit, which by the
way was not an apple, uiie appropriation of the apple js a
popular embelishment to the, narrative, but a gross libel upon
the favorite fruit of the northwest. However those of Eve's
descendents not fundamentalists
len's belated effort to honor
us an.
Student Test Tubes
Our public schools are beincr generally utilized as labra-
tories for the uplifters to experiment on the pupils in behalf
of some pet theory. When tho child health demonstrators
are not thumping the bodies of the little ones, scaring their
parents by alleged discoveries of unsuspected maladies, plant-
... K i? -i: n .. .....
iMB niu aufcBi.-si.iuii di msuase in rneir victims and stimulat
ing the practice of doctors, other faddists and welfare work.
ers are making physical, mental
human test tubes.
About as silly and senseless
cently puiietl-oll, is the "series of moral standard tests" in
the eighth grade of the Parrish iiminr liio-li sr-Wl lw tim
educational department of Willamette university. Some 243
iiihih were given mo tests, - tliough what part of education
such proceedings comprise is a mystery to the uuinitiated
biibmission seems to be a recognized though unpublished nart
of the curricula.
"The main purpose is to determine whether there is any
re ation between intelligence and moral standards, or any
uuLwucii iiome conditions and moral standards,
state the testers. This great discovery is to come from
answers to the following questions:
;Vh;n b storekeeper gives you too much change, you should
m.. " "' for 1,0 ,voulu P''ly koop It It you gave hlra too
2. Scold tho rlork for making a mlsioko.
3. Ask him If ho has not innde a mistake
'4. Iteport the orror to tho proprietor."
t....:t ii , . ..
,,,, T'f , ue er,-a
nnsweis and the conclusions
v....u,,, iimfcii.juc ior publication. The correctness of the
, i if ti B " . uor
ers. fl!ln nnw fhmr n
. .. ...... ... v ul ,lvum. xorm any conclusions
questions?1" '"Ce n"(' mora,ily nnti llome fl'om sucl fool
,,,Jth? are 80 ";", necessary things to be learned in the
short time permitted both at high school and university.
..' " J i'V"""z'T 10
",Z,iiVi I '" 1 r"urfcT
tl T, ", I0lules t niilt-baked theorists. Is
these? y " " i,,tullieence ""d such tests as
Loves Greatest Gift
By VIOLET
T11M KTOHM
Mary eat staring at tho table
cloth, almoat nfralil to look airaln
toward tho table across the rentaur
ant whore Colia was aUIIiir with
Stanley Jilake. she frit ashamctl
for them, embarmwied. she had
known over since she answered the
telephone that morning jut after
Celia went out, when Wake hid
talked to her thinking she was
Celln, that Cella went out with him
even though he was married, yet
It was a shock to look over there
and sco them together,
"And it's so late, too after mid
night." Mary told hcrflolf. "Oh.
she ought not to do that."
And on the heels of that thought
came another one. She herself, was
there with a married man. Tat
Hamilton.
"But that's different," Mary told
herself. 'I didn't want to come and
I'm never going to ee him again."
She hoped that Cella wouldn't
Ifidltor and Publisher
matter at Salem, Oregon
conta a month, SB a year In advance.
counties, one month 60 'cents. 8
year S4.00. EUewliera lit) conta a
deeolv annreciate Mr. Qui!
the memory of the mother of
and moral "surveys" of their
a proceeding as has been re
aceol'aiK to the corrections of
reached sent to a national edu-
01 1,10 0l's of the examin-
... e
ut?nties sanctioning such a
11Kln? ne stll(,e"t the goat for
DARE
notice her. Then sha co'uld pretend
une naan t seen them.
And Cella, glancing over toward
Mary and then looking quickly
away, was saying to Stanley Blake
at that very moment:
"Don't look, but Mary'a sitting
over there with a man whose face
Is awfully familiar, somehow; I
Ihlnk I must have seen his picture
In the newspapers."
"What does ho look like?"
"Oh, awfully good-looking, loads
older than she is. Mary's a sly one.
Goes on quietly day after day and
never says much about her own
affairs I never know what she's
doing or whero she goes when I'm
not with her."
"One thing you do know that
nhe doesn't go out with me," he an
swered. "J)o you think she suspects
that we see so much of each oth
er T"
"She will If you aren't more care
ful," Celia answered. "And of
course it she happens to look over
here and ace uts oh, well, I'll tell
her that you came to tho house
wanting to see her about some
work, and thut oa she wasn't there
you asked me to come out and have
supper with you before you went
back home. How's that for a nice
fib? By the way, who do you sup
pose it was who answered the
'phone when you called me today?
U wasn't Mary, was it? That would
be awful!"
"It didn't sound like her voice-
but then, she just said 'Hullo,' ho
answered. "I think she'd have talk
ed to me, told mo you weron't
there, if it had been Mary."
"It might be a good Idea If she
did know," Celia told him sudden
ly. "It might be a good Idea if
your wife know too. I'm getting
tired of all this decoption. You say
that you caro lor me, and I be
lieve you do, but we just go on.
with out any hope of ever having
things different and "
"Now listen, dear I've told you
a dozen tlmoa that I can't tlo any
thing till my business gets on its
feet. When It's well established and.
I can pay back the money I bor
rowed from my wife to get started,
then It'll be time enough to try
to do something. I'll explain things
to her, and of course she'll divorce
me, and then we can get married.
Just bo patient."
"Yea, 'just be patient,' " mutter
ed Cella, disgustedly. "And moan
while wo may go on for years and
years, and I'll get older and older,
and have nobody but you"
His mouth twisted Into an un
pleasant smile as he sat there list
ening to her, watching her. She
had let her mask drop, for once;
was telling her thoughts, thoughts
that a more clever woman would
have kept to herself. Kor the first
time Stanley Blake wondered why
he had been so infatuated by Cella.
i'rotty, yes. Charming, of course.
But when she talked this way when
her eyes narrowed and her lips
draw back In that unpleasant way,1
she was neither pretty nor charm
DUMB DORA
YOU GET REM3Y
I'LL WASH ThE.
DSWES,PORA
VOJ
BARNEY GOOGLE
MUTT AND JEFF
BRINGING JJP FATHER By George McManuIi
JIY" JL WELL- I'VE COT II WllLPUTtM IN I Fl f I I I fl WgM I I I i j TR-ONG TO PEEP T
h i tf peetut think of ; . V ygj jv'pXJ " jlf
mm Cr B"'n n,,u ittvi ,"t EjZ ) ffjErr
Isl'V FELLERS. ( SUM ) --W DON'T TELL HIM'. St
r V A60IH 9 V -7 'we GOTTA KEEP IT A & A
. " ' S&RET - we DON'T ' p -
sew? q 1 know were cm ouw. as -r.
Ys a-i siSre f ) 'The vmry rsaSsk
rt Kii?Lj3i'-
Jtff'i 6oT SQOOO Bucks 1 JPf, it reiKcS w VxR j CAN'T HdLP But TrvTr I Aiming ' mei i
afkhhi.1. tvZJ- .os a ' S ' Trie Bct! t ,i
ing. In fact, she looked rather like
a shrew I
And suddenly he was glad, that
the safe barrier of matrimony
stood between him and her. He
realized how much more his wife
meant to him than Cella did. He
wanted to get awayk to be free of
this woman with whom he had
spent so much time and on whom
lie had spent much money that
should have gono clsewhero. Well,
he'd slip out of tho entanglement
easily; It would be simple enough
Business was an excuse he could
always give for not neeing her, Juft
as he had frequently given to hi
wife when he wanted to go some
where with Cella Instead of going
home.
Lucky that there'd been nothing
much between them. Really, she
hod no hold on him. It had been
just a flirtation, that meant noth
ingnow that he wanted to get
out of It. And so he flattered him
self, never suspecting that although
ho could stop seeing Celia, he could
not stop the consequences of his
affair with her.
He'd make her a present some
thing rather nice and then he'd
have business out of town and
when he got back oh well, the
thing would straighten itself out
somehow. He smiled a little and
straightened his tie, rather pleased
at the thought that this pretty girl
was In lovo with him.
He would have been less pleased
had ho been able to read Cella's
mind at that particular moment.
"Ileally, he's absolutely stupid,"
she was thinking. "Not half so In
teresting as that man Mary's with,
I'll bet. Clever ltttte minx, she Is,
not to let me know she knew any
body like that She's fooled me, nil
right. I've made a mistake about
Mary; I'll have to be nicer to he..
Wonder how I can get rid of Stan
ley; really, he's not much use to me
except that he's somebody to go
around with."
"Want to start along?" asked
Stanley, beconing to the waiter for
the check.
"Well I-
Cella glanced oncenext move or mine."
RODMEY. BOT
BREAK A DSv X'U. j tfA ' ; 2 Yi L uuh
BUEAKADSvI'UV.
YOU
more toward the table where Mary
sat with rat Hamilton. "I'd like to
go over and speak; to Mary before
we leave.'
Blake saw through her scheme,
and smiled.
"i'ou can speak to her when she
gels home tonight."
As they waited for a taxt she
smiled up at him, telling herself
that slip mustn't let him slip away
from her until some other man had
taken his place. Free dinners and
theatre ticket were not to be des
pised, oven though one was no long
or Interested in the man who con
tributed them!
"I'll see you tomorrow, won't
T, Stanley?" she murmured sweet
ly. "Well I may have to go out
of town," he answered lamely.
And Cells knew as well as he
did just where things stood be
tween them.
Monday A Mystery.
VALENTINO IGNORANT
OF WIFE'S DIVORCE SUktf
Paris. Dec. 19. (A. P.) Ru
dolph Valentino apparently knows
little of the legal marital affairs
of "Rudolfo Gugltelml" or at least
prefers not to know.
It was revealed yesterday that
a divorce action against the mo
tion picture star, whose real name
Is Rudolfo Guglielmt, by hie wife,
the former Winifred Hudmit, had
reached official form In Parle.
Talking to an Associated Press
correspondent today at the fash
ionable hotel at which he is stop
ping, Valentino said: "I am com
pletely In the dark in regard to
my wife's suit, for I only return
ed to Paris from London yester
day evening, and. have not read
the newspapers tins morning.
Knowing nothing myself, I cannot
suggest to you what will be her
They've I'lcnty of
Jeff Is SliU Eighty
Early Day Steamboat
Days on Willamette
Recalled by Veteran
Recalling the old days of river
tiafflo on the Willamette, when
gambling was at Its height, every
town In tho valley was "wide upon"
and tho eteame was tho common
means of transportation .for pas
sengers as well as freight, Frank
J. "Steamboat" Smith, veteran of
river life In the northwest .since
the early sixties, regaled a crowd
of listeners in the office of the
warehouse of the Salem Navigation
company here recently. Smith is
now pilot and pursuer of the steam
or Northwestern.
"Tho time was," he said, "when
as many as four boats a day left
Oregon City for Salem, Albany,
Corvallis and Eugene. The river
being the only means of transpor
tation then, the boats catered more
to the passenger traffic than at
the present time.
"While the river steamer will
never occupy as prominent a place
again as It did then, nevertheless
I think It Is gradually coming back.
The time is not for distant when
regular lines will run not' only to
Salem, but on up the river to Al
bany and Corvallis. A boat once ran
up as far as Lebanon during a
particularly high water".
"I well remember," he said, "how
one enterprising company placed
a brasa band at the disposal of Its
guests and by doing so became
quite popular.
"It is hard to realize, today, that
in the early steamboat days as
many as 200 or 300 passengers
daily left Portland and Oregon
City for tho headwaters of Uiej
Willamette. It was the common i
means of travel then. Just as .the1
Company
on VES WAV -rs
l"i
The. wrong tWh -eo
back To The.
Grand To the Good As We Go
train and the highway are now,
The only roads wore poorly con
structed wagon affairs
"The boats not only carried ca
pacity loads, but won tho favor
of the villagers en route and thoy
would gather In large numbers
on the bank to see the boat steam
past. It was quite the greatest event
in the day for them. I have actu
ally heard of men, women and chil
dren coming from miles Inland to
view a boat, particularly the one
that carried the band. At that time
that one band was almost tho only
ono in the northwest, and there
is no question but that many a res
ident of Marlon and polk counties
never heard any other band in his
life.
"The cabins of the steamers ex
tended from the forward end of the
vessel back to the wheel, instead
of the half cabin effect now In use
in modern boats. The cabin was
divided Into three, sections. .
"At the forwnrd end was the
cabin exclusively for men, in which
card tables predominated as fur
niture. Flanking this section was
the pursuer's office, the mall, mes
senger and express offices.
"On the opposite side from these
was a com modi us bar, open day
and night. Next in line was a long
dining hall with rows of tables, on
each side of which was a row of
staterooms. This big .hall was the
only common gathering place of
both and was the center of
attraction after the ovening meal.
"At the stern of the boat the
ladies' cabin was located. As a rule
no men went there."
a
To Press.
Open Forum
Contributions to This Column ,
must be plulnly written on one
Id of paper only, limited to
300 words in length and wgned
with the name of the Writer.
Articles not meeting these spe
cifications will be rejected.
To the Editor: Yes, . this id
Christmas time! The time of
Christmas liberality Don't lot us
forgot thoso roller Hkatea tho dmvr
klddo wrote tiantu eUe wanted.
Roller 'skates are so good, to till
empty stomachs 'or to put clothes
ou the back or sbocs and stockings
on the feet or they might take
the pKva of a sack ot flour or a
i;ack of putatocs. Now oil ye lib
eral lU'iirti-d with open purse don't,
1 pray you, forget the skates.
And now that congress Is about
it, should It not give ua a Christ
inas present of an modified Vol
stead act, ono that is not ho hard
to enforce and that makes it easier
on tho mooiisliin?r? I know some
editors too of respectable news
papers who will go three blocks to
kick prohibition and thus tho
United States constitution. Fix It
so they need not go so far.
N. J. BOWER
West Salem, Or., Dec. 18, 1925.
SMOOT PROTESTS GIVING
POSTAL CLERKS HOLIDAYS
Washington, Dec. 18 (AP)
Tho senate, which has voted it
self a holiday from December 22
to Jan. 4, heard a protest today
from Senator Smoot, republican,
Utah, against giving the govern
ment clerks their freedom Decem
ber 26 In lieu of the usual half
holiday December 24 and Decem
ber 31.
'It seems to mo we are going
holiday mad," said Senator Smoot.
This arrangement win give tno
clerks three days in a row.
By Chick Young
By Billy de Beck
By Bud Fisher