A10 COFFEE BREAK East Oregonian Saturday, August 13, 2022 DEAR ABBY Man’s controlling behavior still dominates ex’s life Dear Abby: I was married for almost 20 years to a jealous, controlling man. “Pete” was emotionally abusive, which I didn’t really notice because I’m not confrontational. I would just try to make him happy and ignore his controlling behavior. Toward the end of our marriage, I realized how isolated I had become. I had pushed most of my friends and family away. They didn’t want to visit because of Pete’s negative attitude. Our daughter developed an illness in her teens that requires 24-hour care. Her illness didn’t necessarily upset him; what did upset him is the attention she would require in the future. He would say things like, “She’s ruin- ing our retirement. I was looking forward to having you to myself and not having to deal with anyone.” This was when I realized how controlling he was. It felt like I had been wearing a blindfold and then I could fi nally would you do? — Keeping The Story see. I immediately fi led for divorce. Straight A year afterward, I started seeing an old Dear Keeping: What would I do? I would, friend I’ll call “Darren,” someone once and for all, quit allowing my ex my husband had often accused me to control me! I’d call Darren and of cheating with. (He did that with talk with him about why I ended any man I knew.) I really like Darren the relationship and ask if he would and can see a future with him. He consider resuming where the two of treats my daughter great and doesn’t us left off . If he is willing, I would mind that when we go out she has to move forward. However, if he isn’t, tag along. I’d fi nd a licensed psychotherapist Pete is now saying that if I date who could give me the tools to avoid JEANNE Darren, it’s proof that I cheated on my ex’s manipulations in the future. PHILLIPS him. I don’t want my ex to think for Dear Abby: My partner and ADVICE a minute that our marriage ended I have a wonderful relationship, because I cheated, because it’s not but there is one area of contention true. So I broke up with Darren because we don’t know how to solve. I like a fi rm I refuse to accept him being labeled as the mattress. She likes a soft mattress. We bought person who broke up my marriage. What an adjustable bed, so each of us could fi ne- tune the settings to our desired comfort level. It has been a month now, and I hate the new mattress. I just cannot get comfortable. It’s so bad I fi nd myself sleeping in another room just to catch a good night’s rest. As you can imagine, sleeping apart causes anxiety between us, and it has been confusing and stressful for our animals. How do you propose we solve this in a way that restores peace in our relationship? — Yawning In Arizona Dear Yawning: Pay a visit to the store from which you purchased that adjustable bed and fi nd out if you need a lesson or two on how to operate the mattress correctly. (You won’t be the fi rst, trust me on that.) If your discomfort persists, sell the bed and replace it with two twin- or queen-sized mattresses so you and your partner can at least share the same room. DAYS GONE BY 100 years ago in the East Oregonian The members of the American Legion, assisted by the Auxiliary, gave a very pretty party Tuesday evening in the Watts Auditorium in honor of three of their members who have recently become benedicts and their brides, who have recently come to reside here. The honored guests were Mr. and Mrs. Orville Phelps, Mr. and Mrs. Elmer Parsell, and Mr. and Mrs. James P. Murphy. The hall was artistically decorated with asparagus and golden glow. Dancing and card playing was indulged in. Hrs. Harry Coleman of Tacoma, gave several vocal selections in her usual pleasing manner. Refreshments were served. 50 years ago in the East Oregonian Registration of new students at Hermiston High School and confi rmation of the Oregon Total Information Service (OTIS) spring registration for other students will be done at the high school offi ce today through Thursday. If there are any questions, parents are encouraged to confer with counselors at registration time regarding courses for students and the senior high school program. 25 years ago in the East Oregonian A Morrow County warrant led to the arrest of a La Grande man Friday and a $36,000 drug bust. During a traffi c stop in LaGrande, local police found John Lee McLaughlin, 20, was wanted on a Morrow County warrant for failure to appear in court on a charge of driving while suspended. Police obtained a search warrant and seized seven pounds of marijuana, three ounces of methamphetamines and $1,100 worth of cash from McLaughlin’s car. According to police, the marijuana had a street value of $26,000, while the meth- amphetamine had a street value of $8,400. THIS DAY IN HISTORY In 1521, Spanish conqueror Hernando Cortez captured Tenochtitlan, present-day Mexico City, from the Aztecs. In 1792, French revolu- tionaries imprisoned the royal family. In 1846, the American fl ag was raised in Los Angeles for the fi rst time. In 1889, William Gray of Hartford, Connecti- cut, received a patent for a coin-operated telephone. In 1910, Florence Night- ingale, the founder of modern nursing, died in London at age 90. In 1932, Adolf Hitler rejected the post of vice chan- cellor of Germany, saying he was prepared to hold out “for all or nothing.” In 1960, the fi rst two-way telephone conversation by satellite took place with the help of Echo 1. In 1961, East Germany sealed off the border between Berlin’s eastern and western sectors before building a wall that would divide the city for the next 28 years. In 1995, Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle died at a Dallas hospital of rapidly spreading liver cancer; he was 63. In 2003, Iraq began pump- ing crude oil from its north- ern oil fi elds for the fi rst time since the start of the war. Libya agreed to set up a $2.7 billion fund for families of the 270 people killed in the 1988 Pan Am bombing. In 2004, TV chef Julia Child died in Montecito, Cali- fornia, two days short of her 92nd birthday. In 2011, seven people were killed when a stage collapsed at the Indiana State Fair during a powerful storm just before a concert was to begin. In eastern Pakistan, al-Qaida gunmen kidnapped an American development expert, Warren Weinstein. (Weinstein was killed in a U.S. drone strike in Jan. 2015.) In 2020, in an interview on Fox Business Network, Presi- dent Donald Trump acknowl- edged that he was starving the U.S. Postal Service of money in order to make it harder to process an expected surge of mail-in ballots. Israel and the United Arab Emirates announced that they were establishing full diplomatic relations in a deal brokered by the U.S.; it required Israel to halt its plan to annex occu- pied West Bank land sought by the Palestinians. Ten years ago: A routine serving of an eviction notice to a man living near the Texas A&M University campus turned deadly when the resi- dent opened fi re, leading to the death of a law enforcement offi cer and another man before the gunman was killed. Helen Gurley Brown, 90, the long- time editor of Cosmopolitan magazine, died in New York. Five years ago: In a state- ment, the White House said President Donald Trump “very strongly” condemned individual hate groups such as “white supremacists, KKK and neo-Nazis;” the statement followed criticism of Trump for blaming the previous day’s deadly violence at a white supremacist rally in Charlot- tesville, Virginia, on “many sides.” Protesters decrying hatred and racism converged around the country, saying they felt compelled to respond to the white supremacist rally in Virginia. Actor, director and writer Joe Bologna died at the age of 82. One year ago: The Tali- ban completed their sweep of Afghanistan’s south, taking four more provincial capi- tals in a lightning off ensive that brought them closer to Kabul, just weeks before the U.S. was set to offi cially Church Solid Rock Community Church ONLI NE and I N-PERSON SERVI CES S U N D A Y S | 8 : 3 0 A M & 10:00 A M 541.276.1894 | 712 SW 27TH www.pendletoncog.com love God, love people, and make disciples who make disciples 140 SW 2nd St Hermiston, OR 97838 end its two-decade war. U.S. weather offi cials said the aver- age global temperature in July made it the hottest month ever recorded. Grammy-winning folk singer-songwriter Nanci Griffi th died at 68. Today’s Bir thdays: For mer U.S. Su rgeon General Joycelyn Elders is 89. Actor Kevin Tighe is 78. U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen is 76. Opera singer Kathleen Battle is 74. High wire aerialist Philippe Petit is 73. Hockey Hall of Famer Bobby Clarke is 73. Golf Hall of Famer Betsy King is 67. Movie director Paul Greengrass is 67. Actor Danny Bonaduce is 63. TV weatherman Sam Champion is 61. Actor Dawnn Lewis is 61. Actor John Slattery is 60. Actor Debi Mazar is 58. Actor Quinn Cummings is 55. Actor Seana Kofoed is 52. Country singer Andy Griggs is 49. Actor Gregory Fitoussi is 46. Country musician Mike Melancon (Emerson Drive) is 44. Actor Kathryn Fiore is 43. Former White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is 40. Actor Sebas- tian Stan is 40. Actor Eme Ikwuakor is 38. Pop-rock singer James Morrison is 38. Actor Lennon Stella is 23. DIRECTORY Our Lady of Angels Catholic Church Redeemer Episcopal Church 565 W. HERMISTON AVE. 541-567-6937 241 SE Second St. Pendleton (541)276-3809 www.pendletonepiscopal.org PendletonPresbyterian.com Worship Service: 11:00AM Sunday School: 9:45 Pastor Wilbur Clark Sunday Holy Communion: 9am Wednesday Holy Communion: Noon M-F Morning Prayer 7am on Zoom Worship Services On Facebook 10:00am Sundays All Are Welcome N.E. Gladys Join Ave & Us 7th, Hermiston 541-567-6672 JOIN OUR INCLUSIVE CONGREGATION ON OUR JOURNEY WITH JESUS Services 9:00am Sundays In-person or streaming on Facebook or Zoom 201 SW Dorion Ave. Community Presbyterian Church 14 Martin Drive, Umatilla, OR 922-3250 Worship: 10 AM Sunday School at 11:30 The Salvation Army FAITH LUTHERAN CHURCH Center for Worship & Service Sunday Worship Service 9:30 - Sunday School 10:30 - Worship Service Wednesday Bible Study 5:30 Family Fellowship Meal • 6:00 Bible Study 150 SE Emigrant (541) 276-3369 565 W. HERMISTON AVE. Facebook.com/PendletonPresbyterian St. Johns Episcopal Church COME AS YOU ARE Iglesia Católica Nuestra Señora de los Ángeles PENDLETON LIGHTHOUSE CHURCH OPEN HEARTS – OPEN DOOR www.graceandmercylutheran.org Sunday Worship 8:45 a.m. Sunday School 10:00 a.m. (Nursery Provided) Fellowship, Refreshments & Sunday School Check Out our Facebook Page or Website for More Information 541-289-4535 Pastor Weston Walker Grace and Mercy Lutheran Church, ELCA (First United Methodist Church) 191 E. Gladys Ave. / P.O. Box 1108 Hermiston, Oregon 97838 Sunday Service: 9am & 6pm Tuesday Kingdom Seekers: 7pm Wednesday Bible Study: 7pm We offer: Sunday School • Sign Language Interpreters • Nursery • Transportation • & more! Pastor Dan Satterwhite 541.377.4252 417 NW 21st St. • Pendleton, OR 97801 www.facebook.com/ PendletonLighthouseChurch First Christian Church (DISCIPLES OF CHRIST) in Mission for Christ LCMC Sunday Worship.........9:00 AM Bible Study......10:15 AM 215 N. Main • Pendleton In Person worship Sundays at 10:00 am Red Lion Hotel ( Oregon Trail Room ) Office Phone: 541-276-5358 Hours: M-F 9:00am-1:00pm To advertise in the Church Directory, please contact Audra Workman 541-564-4538 or email aworkman@eastoregonian.com