VOICES
East Oregonian
A12
Tuesday, August 2, 2022
‘Spin docta’ can provide some healing
T
here were just the
two of us. In a small
airless, windowless
upstairs room. Loud chat-
tering sounds echoed off the
walls and glass partitions. It
was hot. Smokey. Crowded.
We eyed each other warily.
Sam made the fi rst move.
“I will no longer do this. It
is beneath my dignity.”
Sam was the swing shift
DJ at our very small town
radio station. Local wags
noted its reach was three
city blocks in every direc-
tion. This was not far from
the truth of the matter. As
the owner said, admiringly,
‘Sam has a voice and a face
made for radio.’ Sam was
bald on top and sported a
long curly red fringe of hair
that always reminded me of
Bozo the Clown. He wore
stripes and plaids. His radio
voice was deep and sono-
rous. This came from a three
packs of unfi ltered Lucky
Strikes a day habit. I was a
very part-time station “radio
assistant” charged with
feeding paper into the busy
clattering Telex machine,
updating the weather, fi nd-
ing the latest Ag news and
sweeping the fl oors and
cleaning the glass partitions.
Sam held court in a closed
glass booth with a large
microphone fl oating in front
of this nose. On his left was
a double record player. A
ANYONE CAN WRITE
Nearly 40 years in the business have taught
me that readers long for meaning and a con-
nection at a deeper and more universal level.
And that’s why the East Oregonian will be run-
ning, from time to time, stories from students
who are in my writing class, which I’ve been
teaching for the past 10 years in Portland.
I take great satisfaction in helping so-called
nonwriters fi nd and write stories from their
lives and experiences. They walk into my room
believing they don’t have what it takes to be
a writer. I remind them if they follow their
thin spindle for 33⅓ albums
and a thick spindle for the
45s. On his right was the
studio’s collection of records.
Lots of records. The range
was impressive. Classical to
country to Lawrence Welk to
the Beatles. Sam would play
his music and read out adver-
tising, jokes, the weather
and local gossip on the fl y.
Always. I secretly wanted to
learn that gift of gab. I soon
had my chance. Unexpect-
edly.
The boss decreed that the
station would host a once
weekly “Music Dedication
Hour” during the summer.
The kids were out of school
and would need a wholesome
distraction. Local students
would mail or hand deliver a
written request that a certain
song be played along with a
personal message or dedica-
hearts, they will discover they are storytellers.
As we all are at our core.
Some of these stories have nothing to do with
Pendleton or Umatilla County. They do, how-
ever, have everything to do with life.
If you are interested in contacting me to tell
me your story, I’d like to hear from you.
Tom Hallman Jr., tbhbook@aol.com
Tom Hallman Jr. is a Pulitzer Prize-winning
feature writer for The Oregonian newspaper.
He’s also a writing coach and has an
affinity for Umatilla County.
tion. By way of example, the
boss envisioned that “Tiny
Bubbles” would be dedi-
cated to a favorite teacher
by an adoring student. Pure
G Rated fare. “Fat chance”
muttered Sam under his
smelly breath.
Sam was tasked with
adding this show to his
evening routine. This did not
go over well. I worked the
night shift during the weekly
Dedication Hour. Sam was
inside his glass control
booth. Smoking up a storm.
At the end of the second
Dedication week is where I
found Sam on the verge of
quitting. After the “beneath
my dignity” mutterings, Sam
looked at me for a moment.
He quickly turned all friend-
ly-like, put his nicotine
stained fi ngers around my
shoulder. “I have a great idea
Jonsson. You are only here
doing scut work so that you
can learn to be a DJ. Now is
your chance! You will be the
on-air host for the weekly
Dedication Hour. I can sell
this to the boss easy. He will
pay your paltry wage, save
money and give me time to
work on my other shows”.
That’s what happened. I had
a week to prepare my on-air
persona and debut.
First, I needed a DJ
handle. Wolfman Jack,
Casey Kasem and Murray
the K ruled the airwaves.
With little forethought, I
christened myself “The
Spin Docta.” Sam rolled his
eyes and muttered, “Saints
preserve us from the young
and ill-prepared.” I had
others lined up in case I
caught a lucky break and
made it on the air. Alas, the
cold light of day diminished
their luster. “Rock God,”
Music Master and Purgato-
ries Devil were fi led away.
Forever.
Next, I had to read the
dedications and put the
songs in the correct order.
The songs were the easy
part. The dedications were a
total surprise and a serious
challenge in how to handle
the swirling cauldron of teen
hormones, lust and vindic-
tiveness. The requests began
to arrive. I was ill prepared.
The Tiny Bubbles requests
never arrived. Here are some
that did. I noted that song
titles wrote their own dedi-
cations ...
“I Can’t Take My Eyes
Off You.” To Carol, please
show some skin! — Shy guy.
“Happy Together.” To
Chuck, from your mistress.
“Midnight Confessions.”
To Fred, I love your younger
brother. — Sneaky.
“Only the Lonely.” To
Shirley, please notice me in
1st period math. — Lonely
one.
“Hello Darlin.’” To
Bill, who was with you at
midnight? — Honey.
“I’m A Girl Watcher.” To
Mary, I have my eyes on you
at lunch time. — Four eyes.
“Piece of my Heart.” To
Rob, give it back. I have the
rest! — Lady it’s so over.
“Kiss an Angel in the
Mornin.’” To Foxy, great kiss
last night. — Lover Boy.
“Light My Fire.” Ed, the
kindling and matches are in
my car. — Your Girl Scout.
“The Letter.” Rick, go
to your mailbox. A letter
to ‘Dear John” is there. —
Cowardly Lioness.
“I Walk Alone.” To Jay,
I couldn’t care less. — Your
new ex.
Flummoxed, I asked Sam
for advice. The commit-
ted bachelor said, “Pause
when agitated. Be kind.” He
showed me an early request
by way of example: Play
“Mrs. Robinson.” Dedicated
to Barb, I hope you drop
dead” — Art Garfunkle.” He
changed it to “To Barb from
Art.” Seemed easy enough.
He added an unexpected
lesson in time management.
He noted there were more
requests than time to play
the songs, run our ads and
listen to my simpering patter.
Cull the really bad ones and
announce requests had to
be renewed again if a song
did not play. This would
give time to cool hot-run-
ning emotions. Finally, make
some up requests that are
positive, uplifting and kind.
“After all,” he said, “you
are the Spin Docta, and your
prescriptions may help heal
many lonely kids out there.”
“Tiny Bubbles” may be
just the tonic someone needs.
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