COFFEE BREAK
Saturday, October 23, 2021
East Oregonian
A11
DEAR ABBY
Wife in new marriage seeks balance with mother
Dear Abby: My mom and I have always
been close, but since I got married, I have
been having a hard time setting boundaries.
My parents divorced when I was 12, and Mom
went through a string of boyfriends — includ-
ing an abusive one. She hasn’t dated anyone
seriously in the last fi ve years. My father is a
pilot. While I was growing up, it was mostly
Mom who raised me. It was the two of us
against the world, until I met my husband,
“Eric.” We started dating four years ago and
were married last summer.
Eric knows Mom and I have always
considered ourselves to be each other’s best
friend. He also knows we have taken many
trips together. It’s a tradition Mom was hoping
we’d continue after my wedding. She has
recently begun discussing a vacation, and
Eric wants to tag along. She, however, wants
it to be a “just us girls” trip. I’m not sure how passing of a loved one? We recently had a
to handle this. Mom and Eric are the
death in our family. As we were
most important people in my life.
trying to say our goodbyes and get
Must I really choose between one
in touch with immediate family, the
or the other? Who comes fi rst? And
word got out.
how do I break the news to whoever
Within an hour of the passing, the
comes second? — Torn In Illinois
news was all over social media. We
Dear Torn: You are a newlywed,
barely had time to react, let alone
married only a short time. For your
inform all our family members.
Many of them learned about it from
mother to expect you to leave your
JEANNE
husband and vacation with her at
these posts. Imagine fi nding out
PHILLIPS
this point is insensitive and unre-
a loved one passed away from a
ADVICE
alistic. When people marry, their
non-family member’s social media
spouse is supposed to take prece-
posting. It made an already painful
dence. Tell your mother you would love to situation even more so. People were hurt that
take girls trips with her in the future, but not they weren’t informed before it was plastered
during the fi rst year of your marriage.
all over the internet.
Dear Abby: Can you help to illuminate
Could you also point out that if you are
people on what is proper etiquette after the the person who made the post from which
someone found out about the death of a family
member, rather than get defensive and say,
“I’m not the only one who posted it!” or, “I
wasn’t the fi rst to say something,” just kindly
off er your condolences and maybe an apology.
— Mourning In Michigan
Dear Mourning: Please accept my
sympathy for your loss. I am sure that feelings
are raw because people are hurting, but please
realize that because of social media, news
travels like wildfi re. For a friend to be told and
then to post the sad news wouldn’t be unusual
these days. However, to head something
like that off before it happened, the person
who spilled the beans should have asked the
friend to keep the news private until all family
members were personally informed.
That said, since there were hurt feelings,
apologies are in order.
DAYS GONE BY
100 Years Ago
Oct. 23, 1921
Ninety fi res, with a total damage of 189 acres, about 50
per cent of the damage for the preceding year, occurred on
the Umatilla forest during the past fi re season, says R. A.
Bottcher. The total damage for the year amounts to $286.29,
while the cost to the forest service for fi re prevention was
$1,529.65. The work of stockmen and others, in co-operating
with the forest service cost $223.70. Seventy-four of the fi res
were caused by lightning, two were brush fi res, and 14 were
caused by campers. There were 54 fi res of one fourth of an
acre; 34 over a fourth of an acre and less than 10 acres; one
which did $100 worth of damage and was over 10 acres, and
which did damage of between $100 and $1000.
50 Years Ago
Oct. 23, 1971
Sharon Hotchkiss, 29, likes the outdoors. She is one of
the few women in the U.S. who majored in wildlife manage-
ment. She earned her degree from Oregon State University.
Her problem with her wildlife career is her husband, Lee.
He, the assistant manager of the Umatilla wildlife refuge,
is her competition for a job in/ her fi eld. She has settled for
an offi ce job as a legal secretary in Hermiston. The McNary
couple knew when they met in a wildlife class at OSU that
government agencies simply do not hire a man and wife
team in wildlife management on the same project. Mrs.
Hotckhiss has resigned herself to the idea that she may never
have the opportunity to enter the fi eld for which she has a
degree — her husband will get the top priority for the job.
It was decided to go this route in a family meeting.
25 Years Ago
Oct. 23, 1996
When Tod Keppinger slid his Stalker radar gun into his
motorcycle’s holster, the Hermiston Police Department traf-
fi c enforcement offi cer noticed an immediate change in his
workday. In the three weeks since Keppinger started using
radar during his patrol shift, the patrolman said he’s doubled
the number of tickets he writes. An average day yields 10
speeding citations, he said. The radar gun perches near the
left handle of Keppinger’s motorcycle and can track speed
from up to half a mile away. Keppinger said he sees notice-
able diff erences in many of the areas he regularly patrols.
“That’s great,” he said. I’m trying to get people to slow
down and be aware.” With radar, Keppinger has adjusted
his patrol methods. Now he waits in secluded areas. Though
he’s not in plain view, Keppinger is not trying to keep a low
profi le. “I want everyone to know that I’m out there some
place,” he said. “I could be anywhere.”
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
On Oct. 23, 1973, Presi-
dent Richard Nixon agreed to
turn over White House tape
recordings subpoenaed by
the Watergate special prose-
cutor to Judge John J. Sirica.
In 1707, the fi rst Parlia-
ment of Great Britain,
created by the Acts of Union
between England and Scot-
land, held its fi rst meeting.
In 1864, forces led by
Union Maj. Gen. Samuel R.
Curtis repelled Confederate
Maj. Gen. Sterling Price’s
army in the Civil War Battle
of Westport in Missouri.
In 1915, tens of thousands
of women paraded up Fifth
Avenue in New York City,
demanding the right to vote.
In 1956, a student-sparked
revolt against Hungary’s
Communist rule began; as
the revolution spread, Soviet
forces started entering the
country, and the uprising was
put down within weeks.
In 1983, 241 U.S. service
members, most of them
Marines, were killed in a
suicide truck-bombing at
Beirut International Airport
in Lebanon; a near-simulta-
neous attack on French forces
killed 58 paratroopers.
In 1987, the U.S. Senate
rejected, 58-42, the Supreme
Court nomination of Robert
H. Bork.
In 1989, 23 people were
killed in an explosion at Phil-
lips Petroleum Co.’s chemical
complex in Pasadena, Texas.
In 2001, the nation’s
anthrax scare hit the White
House with the discovery of a
small concentration of spores
at an off site mail processing
center.
In 2009, President Barack
Obama declared the swine
fl u outbreak a national emer-
gency, giving his health
chief the power to let hospi-
tals move emergency rooms
offsite to speed treatment
and pr otect non-infected
patients.
In 2012, during a debate
with Democratic rival Joe
Donnelly, Indiana Republi-
can Senate candidate Rich-
ard Mourdock said that when
a woman becomes pregnant
during rape, “it is some-
thing that God intended to
happen.” (Other Republi-
can candidates moved to
distance themselves from
Mourdock, who went on to
lose the November election
to Donnelly.)
I n 2 014 , of f icia l s
announced that an emer-
gency room doctor who’d
recently returned to New
York City after treating Ebola
patients in West Africa tested
positive for the virus, becom-
ing the fi rst case in the city
and the fourth in the nation.
(Dr. Craig Spencer later
recovered.)
Today’s Bir thdays:
Movie director Philip
Kaufman is 85. Soccer
great Pele is 81. R&B singer
Barbara Ann Hawkins (The
Dixie Cups) is 78. Former
ABC News investigative
reporter Brian Ross is 73.
Actor Michael Rupert is 70.
Movie director Ang Lee is 67.
Jazz singer Dianne Reeves is
65. Country singer Dwight
Yoakam is 65. Community
activist Martin Luther King
III is 64. Movie director Sam
Raimi is 62. Parodist “Weird
CHURCH DIRECTORY
PENDLETON
LIGHTHOUSE CHURCH
Sunday Service: 9am & 6pm
Tuesday Kingdom Seekers: 7pm
Wednesday Bible Study: 7pm
We offer: Sunday School • Sign Language
Interpreters • Nursery • Transportation • & more!
Pastor Dan Satterwhite
541.377.4252
417 NW 21st St. • Pendleton, OR 97801
www.facebook.com/
PendletonLighthouseChurch
Redeemer
Episcopal
Church
241 SE Second St. Pendleton
(541)276-3809
www.pendletonepiscopal.org
PendletonPresbyterian.com
Sunday Holy Communion: 9am
Wednesday Holy Communion: Noon
M-F Morning Prayer 7am on Zoom
Worship Services On Facebook
10:00am Sundays
All Are Welcome
Community
Presbyterian
Church
Solid Rock
Community Church
140 SW 2nd St Hermiston, OR 97838
14 Martin Drive,
Umatilla, OR
922-3250
541-567-6937
Worship Service: 11:00AM
Sunday School: 9:45
Pastor Wilbur Clark
Worship: 10 AM
Sunday School at 11:30
First Christian
Church
(DISCIPLES OF CHRIST)
215 N. Main • Pendleton
In Person worship Sundays
at 11:00am
Office Phone: 541-276-5358
Hours: M-F 9:00am-1:00pm
201 SW Dorion Ave.
Facebook.com/PendletonPresbyterian
OPEN HEARTS – OPEN DOOR
www.graceandmercylutheran.org
Sunday Worship 8:45 a.m.
Sunday School 10:00 a.m. (Nursery Provided)
Fellowship, Refreshments & Sunday School
Check Out our Facebook Page or
Website for More Information
541-289-4535
Pastor Weston Walker
Grace and Mercy Lutheran Church, ELCA
(First United Methodist Church)
191 E. Gladys Ave. / P.O. Box 1108
Hermiston, Oregon 97838
The Salvation Army
Center for Worship & Service
Sunday Worship Service
9:30 - Sunday School
10:30 - Worship Service
Wednesday Bible Study
5:30 Family Fellowship Meal • 6:00 Bible Study
COME AS YOU ARE
150 SE Emigrant
(541) 276-3369
St. Johns
Episcopal Church
N.E. Gladys Join
Ave & Us
7th, Hermiston
541-567-6672
JOIN OUR INCLUSIVE
CONGREGATION
ON OUR JOURNEY WITH JESUS
Services 9:00am Sundays
In-person or streaming on
Facebook or Zoom
FAITH LUTHERAN
CHURCH
Our Lady of Angels
Catholic Church
565 W. HERMISTON AVE.
Iglesia Católica Nuestra
Señora de los Ángeles
565 W. HERMISTON AVE.
in Mission for Christ LCMC
Sunday Worship.........9:00 AM
Bible Study......10:15 AM
Red Lion Hotel
( Oregon Trail Room )
To advertise in the Church Directory, please contact Audra Workman
541-564-4538 or email aworkman@eastoregonian.com
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