COFFEE BREAK
Saturday, September 18, 2021
East Oregonian
A11
DEAR ABBY
Couple wrestles with communication breakdowns
Dear Abby: I love my wife very much, but
we are, unfortunately, having a communica-
tion/interpretation issue. She is inquisitive
and asks a lot of questions. I become defen-
sive when I’m questioned. Sometimes I feel
it shows a lack of confi dence or trust in me.
My wife says I am being too sensitive.
There are times when I infer a negative
tone where there is none, and others when
I believe my perception is spot-on. Some-
times, I suspect she’s unwilling to accept
any answer that does not match her own
thinking. She comes from a family where
correcting each other, even over the small-
est thing, is common. She’s an educator, so
in some ways, it’s part of her job.
My wife seems unable to use alterna-
tive phrasing that is less likely to trigger a
defensive response. When we have confl ict
over this, it seems I am always the one who cation skills. If she’s willing, it could be
has to give ground. When I try to
helpful for your marriage. If she
explain my feelings, it only makes
isn’t, then go without her to help
things worse. When I choose to be
you fi gure out whether you really
more assertive, it results in more
are “too sensitive.”
escalation. I am blessed with a
Dear Abby: My best friend,
spouse who is independent, strong-
whom I’ve known most of my life,
minded and outspoken. How can I
has a 7-year-old grandson. The
develop a thicker skin so I won’t
boy, “Cody,” is spoiled, rude and
feel like I am second-guessed at
makes obnoxious comments to
JEANNE
every turn? When should I speak
adults. They’ll make plans to visit
PHILLIPS
us on a weekend evening when my
up? — Misunderstood in Texas
ADVICE
Dear Misunderstood: NOW
wife and I want to chill out. While
would be a good time to speak up.
they are here, Cody gets loaded up
When you do, tell your wife — the
on sugar, snoops through rooms
educator — that you feel second-guessed at and picks up breakable objects while
every turn, and it’s time to enlist the help watching us to see our reaction. He also
of a licensed marriage and family therapist does calisthenics and runs around while
so you two can improve your communi- he’s here. He makes snotty comments to us
that my friend encourages and thinks are
funny. As much as I love my friend, how
do I tell him that his grandson is no longer
welcome? — In a Conundrum
Dear in a Conundrum: Has it occurred
to you that Cody may have problems more
serious than a sugar buzz? The behav-
ior you describe can be symptoms of
ADHD and/or learning disabilities. If
Cody hasn’t been evaluated by a medical
professional, he should be. If you truly
love this friend, suggest it and tell him
why. If he ends your relationship because
of it, you will no longer be subjected to
Cody’s unfortunate behavior. On the
other hand, if my concern is on target, you
could change that boy’s life for the better,
because he doesn’t act out only at your
house.
DAYS GONE BY
100 Years Ago
Sept. 18, 1921
Among the Round-Up performers arriving in Pendleton today
were Bonnie McCarroll, Kitty Canutt, Mabel Strickland and
Lorena Trickey, all famous women riders. Miss Trickey was born
in The Dalles and her childhood days were spent in riding bucking
bronks. Her father and brothers objected to her riding in contests,
but she “sneaked off ” to Pendleton one time and came home a
winner. Miss Trickey has suff ered some injuries for the innumer-
able prizes she has won. Her worst injury occurred when another
team in a Roman standing race crashed her mounts into a fence
and trampled upon her. Yet she won the fi nal Roman standing race
at Cheyenne this year and her courage is not dimmed by accidents.
50 Years Ago
Sept. 18, 1971
Jesse Jones says it can get “chilly out there” when he rides
Domino in the Happy Canyon pageant. Much of the show is keyed
around the rides of Jones. He has been performing the role for
three years. “To do it a person has to have a riding ability and
understand a horse,” said Jones. Domino is better in the part than
some horses. “With Domino you don’t have to worry,” Jones said.
“He knows his cues.” Jones was trampled by a horse in the Thurs-
day performance of the show and received minor injuries, but was
back on his mount Friday. As one spectator said after watching the
Happy Canyon pageant, “No wonder it took a regiment of cavalry
to put down a few Indians. They were tough.”
25 Years Ago
Sept. 18, 1996
Amtrak’s Pioneer Run train service to Eastern Oregon will
come to an end Nov. 9. The announced closure of the thrice-
weekly passenger train between Portland and Chicago via Boise
means Eastern Oregon travelers will soon be without train service
in a rural area where hundreds of miles stretch between major
population centers. The state Department of Transportation hopes
cost-cutting in the 125-mile corridor between Eugene and Port-
land would free up additional dollars to be spent on transportation
in Eastern Oregon. It costs about $1 million each year in subsidies
to maintain daily Amtrak service in the Willamette Valley versus
an estimated $5 million for three-day train service that stretches
430 miles from Portland to the Oregon border in Ontario.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
On Sept. 18, 1975, news-
paper heiress Patricia Hearst
was captured by the FBI in
San Francisco, 19 months after
being kidnapped by the Symbi-
onese Liberation Army.
In A.D. 14, the Roman
Senate officially confirmed
Tiberius as the second emperor
of the Roman Empire, succeed-
ing the late Augustus.
In 1850, Congress passed
the Fugitive Slave Act, which
created a force of federal
commissioners charged with
returning escaped slaves to
their owners.
In 1851, the first edition
of The New York Times was
published.
In 1927, the Columbia
Phonograph Broadcasting
System (later CBS) made
its on-air debut with a basic
network of 16 radio stations.
In 1947, the National
Security Act, which created a
National Military Establish-
ment and the position of Secre-
tary of Defense, went into eff ect.
In 1961, United Nations
Secretary-General Dag
Hammarskjold was killed in a
plane crash in northern Rhode-
sia.
In 1965, the situation come-
dies “I Dream of Jeannie” and
“Get Smart” premiered on
NBC.
In 1970, rock star Jimi
Hendrix died in London at age
27.
In 1990, the organized crime
drama “GoodFellas,” directed
by Martin Scorsese, had its U.S.
premiere in New York.
In 2001, a week after the
Sept. 11 attack, President
George W. Bush said he hoped
to “rally the world” in the battle
against terrorism and predicted
that all “people who love free-
dom” would join. Letters post-
marked Trenton, N.J., that later
tested positive for anthrax were
sent to the New York Post and
NBC anchorman Tom Brokaw.
In 2010, despite Taliban
rocket strikes and bombings,
Afghans voted for a new parlia-
ment in the fi rst election since a
fraud-marred ballot cast doubt
on the legitimacy of the embat-
tled government.
In 2014, voters in Scotland
rejected independence, opting
to remain part of the United
Kingdom in a historic referen-
dum. The Royal and Ancient
Golf Club at St. Andrews,
Scotland, ended years of male-
only exclusivity as its members
voted overwhelmingly in favor
of inviting women to join.
Today’s Birthdays: Actor
Robert Blake is 88. Gospel
singer Bobby Jones is 83.
Singer Frankie Avalon is 81.
Actor Beth Grant is 72. Rock
musician Kerry Livgren is 72.
Actor Anna Deavere Smith
is 71. Former U.S. Secre-
tary of Housing and Urban
Development Ben Carson, is
70. Basketball Hall of Fame
coach Rick Pitino is 69. Sen.
Tommy Tuberville, R-Ala.,
is 67. College Football Hall
of Famer and retired NFL
player Billy Sims is 66. Movie
director Mark Romanek is 62.
Baseball Hall of Famer Ryne
Sandberg is 62. Alt-coun-
try-rock musician Mark Olson
is 60. Singer Joanne Catherall
(Human League) is 59. Actor
Holly Robinson Peete is 57.
R&B singer Ricky Bell (Bell
Biv Devoe and New Edition)
is 54. Actor Aisha Tyler is 51.
Former racing cyclist Lance
Armstrong is 50. Opera singer
Anna Netrebko is 50. Actor
Jada Pinkett Smith is 50. Actor
James Marsden is 48. Actor
Emily Rutherfurd is 47. Actor
Travis Schuldt is 47. Rapper
Xzibit is 47. Comedian-actor
Jason Sudeikis is 46. Actor
Sophina Brown is 45. Actor
Barrett Foa is 44. Talk show
host Sara Haines (TV: “GMA3:
Strahan, Sara & Keke”) is 44.
Actor/comedian Billy Eichner
is 43. Actor Alison Lohman is
42. Designer Brandon Maxwell
is 37. Congressman and former
NFL player Anthony Gonza-
lez, R-Ohio, is 37. Actors Bran-
don and Taylor Porter are 28.
Actor Patrick Schwarzenegger
is 28. Country singer Tae Dye
(Maddie and Tae) is 26. Actor
C.J. Sanders is 25.
CHURCH
Featured this Week:
DIRECTORY
Community Worship
Our Lady of Angels
Catholic Church
565 W. HERMISTON AVE.
Iglesia Católica Nuestra
Señora de los Ángeles
PENDLETON
LIGHTHOUSE CHURCH
565 W. HERMISTON AVE.
Sunday Service: 9am & 6pm
Tuesday Kingdom Seekers: 7pm
Wednesday Bible Study: 7pm
We offer: Sunday School • Sign Language
Interpreters • Nursery • Transportation • & more!
Pastor Dan Satterwhite
541.377.4252
417 NW 21st St. • Pendleton, OR 97801
www.facebook.com/
PendletonLighthouseChurch
FAITH LUTHERAN
CHURCH
in Mission for Christ LCMC
Sunday Worship.........9:00 AM
Bible Study......10:15 AM
Red Lion Hotel
( Oregon Trail Room )
St. Johns
Episcopal Church
N.E. Gladys Join
Ave & Us
7th, Hermiston
541-567-6672
JOIN OUR INCLUSIVE
CONGREGATION
ON OUR JOURNEY WITH JESUS
Services 9:00am Sundays
In-person or streaming on
Facebook or Zoom
OPEN HEARTS – OPEN DOOR
www.graceandmercylutheran.org
Sunday Worship 8:45 a.m.
Sunday School 10:00 a.m. (Nursery Provided)
Fellowship, Refreshments & Sunday School
Check Out our Facebook Page or
Website for More Information
541-289-4535
Pastor Weston Walker
Grace and Mercy Lutheran Church, ELCA
(First United Methodist Church)
191 E. Gladys Ave. / P.O. Box 1108
Hermiston, Oregon 97838
Solid Rock
Community Church
140 SW 2nd St Hermiston, OR 97838
201 SW Dorion Ave.
PendletonPresbyterian.com
Worship Services On Facebook
10:00am Sundays
Facebook.com/PendletonPresbyterian
Redeemer
Episcopal
Church
541-567-6937
241 SE Second St. Pendleton
(541)276-3809
www.pendletonepiscopal.org
Worship Service: 11:00AM
Sunday School: 9:45
Pastor Wilbur Clark
Sunday Holy Communion: 9am
Wednesday Holy Communion: Noon
M-F Morning Prayer 7am on Zoom
All Are Welcome
Community
Presbyterian
Church
14 Martin Drive,
Umatilla, OR
922-3250
Worship: 10 AM
Sunday School at 11:30
The Salvation Army
Center for Worship & Service
Sunday Worship Service
9:30 - Sunday School
10:30 - Worship Service
Wednesday Bible Study
5:30 Family Fellowship Meal • 6:00 Bible Study
COME AS YOU ARE
150 SE Emigrant
(541) 276-3369
ONLINE and IN-PERSON SERVICES
SUNDAYS
| 8:00 AM & 10:00AM
541.276 .18 94
|
712 SW 27 TH ST.
www.pendletoncog.com
love God, love people, and make disciples who make disciples
To advertise in the Church Directory,
please contact Audra Workman
541-564-4538 or email
aworkman@eastoregonian.com