COMMUNITY
East Oregonian
A6
A brother’s sacrifice
MATT
HENRY
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
B
eing raised in the
1950s, for better or for
worse, when it came
to discipline of children,
corporal punishment was the
norm. No timeout for me,
no standing in the corner, no
taking away the cellphone
— no, punishment for me
meant a beating, usually by
my mother.
As an only child raised in
the 1930s, her father would
punish her by whipping her
calves with a belt. Violence
as discipline was her norm.
Much like the belt, she also
used implements in punish-
ing my brother and me.
She began by using
wooden paddles (she’d buy
them and rip the red rubber
ball and string off). It didn’t
take too long for the paddle
to break on my naked
behind. Then she advanced
to wooden mixing spoons
that didn’t break so easily;
when those too eventually
broke, she graduated to plas-
tic hair brushes and steel
mixing spoons that didn’t
break.
My childhood was
peppered with these pain-
ful beatings and it made me
a scared and paranoid child.
In counseling years later for
what I thought was normal
discipline, my therapist said
my brother and I would have
been removed from our
home. Between my parents
and school bullies, I knew
no safety from harm. What,
you might ask, did you do to
warrant such painful beat-
ings?
As a child of 8, I was used
to watching my mother put
on lipstick which, for what-
ever reason, I found intrigu-
ing. I suppose it was because
she was the only one in our
home that did. One day when
I was alone in the house, I
decided to satisfy my curi-
osity. I opened her medicine
cabinet and took out one of
her lipstick tubes. I took off
the cap, extended the red
stick and marveled. Shiny,
semi-solid, waxy, it felt like
greasy chalk between my
clumsy kid fingers.
Suddenly, the unthink-
able happened — it broke
in half. I felt the surge of
terror run through my veins
as I tried unsuccessfully to
jam the two pieces together,
smooth over the crack and
gently retract the stick in its
case, now leaning at a defi-
nite angle. I was horrified for
I knew that if she discov-
ered it, I would get it bad.
The thought of the beating
plunged me into immediate
fear.
A few days went by
quietly without a peep. I
breathed with relief, thinking
that my repair job had actu-
ally worked. My 4-year-old
brother and I were playing
on the living room floor, my
father sat on the couch read-
ing the paper. At one point
I saw my mother head to
the bathroom and I held my
breath. A few minutes went
by. Nothing. I had dodged
that bullet meant for me.
Suddenly, my peace was
shattered by an angry scream
coming from the bathroom.
My mind shut down imme-
diately and my body went
frigid and immovable. My
brother lifted his head, obliv-
ious to what was about to
happen. My mother came
down the hall, livid, holding
her favorite wood mixing
spoon. She stood above us
holding the broken lipstick
and screamed, “Which one
of you did this?” Her anger
was over the top and I was
afraid.
Instinctively, I clammed
up. I was terrified. My little
brother was dumbfounded
of course. He hadn’t a clue
of what had happened or
what was about to go down.
Silence and stupefaction
greeted her. She then pulled
a maneuver she’d never tried
before.
She yelled, “If one of you
doesn’t tell me right now,
you’re both going to get it.” I
remained stoically frozen in
terror. But I also remember
thinking that that treatment
was so over the top — that
she would actually punish
the innocent for the guilty
one — that she couldn’t
possibly be serious.
At that moment, the
most bizarre thing I could
think of happened. My little
brother spoke, calling what
I was sure was her bluff. He
looked at her holding that
waxy casualty of my hands
and quietly said, “I did it.”
Before either of us could take
a breath, she swooped down,
silently, gracefully and in
one movement wrapped an
arm around his tiny waist,
pulled him down over the
sacrificial altar of her knee
and venting her spleen,
began.
The knife for me was
stayed at the last possible
second, for a different sacri-
fice had been found for both
of us — Abraham had a ram
and I had my brother. And
I suspect much like the ram
had, my brother screamed as
the wooden lash came down
and down and down and
down some more.
Let me assure you dear
reader, the punishment I
received that day was ulti-
mately far worse than what
my brother experienced. Out
of sheer terror, I had thrown
my very own brother under
the bus and witnessed the
execution that had my name
on it. It was beyond awful.
I’ve lived with the shame
and guilt and pain my whole
life. Neither of us ever spoke
a word about it, until much
later in our 40s.
It had taken me three
decades to work up the cour-
age to address the memory
with him, to own up to my
deep shame and guilt, to ask
for his forgiveness. Shak-
ing, my voice quavering, I
began to speak: “Josh, do
you remember once when we
were kids when mom came
out of the” he finished the
sentence, “the lipstick.”
I was burning in hell
with shame, grief, embar-
rassment, guilt, all the fun
emotions of what it means
to be human. But now I had
the opening to ask him the
question that had haunted me
all those years — why? Why
had he, at 4 years old, taken a
horrible beating voluntarily
that was meant for me?
He simply said the truth.
“Well, Matt,” he spoke
quietly, “I knew she was
serious and I figured at some
point I was going to get it
anyway, so I claimed it to
save you from having to get
it too.”
A sacrifice of trauma, of
terror, of violence, given for
me unbidden. Let those with
ears to hear, let them hear.
———
The Rev. Dr. Matt Henry
is a retired American Baptist/
United Methodist pastor,
who pastored the Pendle-
ton First United Church and
now joyfully makes “hippie
food” for the houseless at the
Warming Station.
Easter Bunny returns to region
East Oregonian
After taking a sabbat-
ical in many places in
2020 because of the global
pandemic, the Easter Bunny
is hopping back into action
this year. Some area activi-
ties for the kids include:
PENDLETON
Willowbrook Terrace
•707 S.W. 37th St.
•Friday, 3:30-4:30 p.m.
Bring a basket to collect
eggs and enjoy a fun time for
the entire family. The event
includes treats and golden
egg prizes. The Easter
bunny will make a special
appearance.
HERMISTON
Butte Park
•1245 N.W. Seventh St.
•Friday, 8 p.m.
He’s baaaack and the
Easter bunny is scatter-
ing more than 8,000 Easter
eggs at Butte Park for the
annual Flashlight Easter Egg
Hunt. The free event, coor-
dinated by Hermiston Parks
& Recreation, is sponsored
by Rogers Toyota of Herm-
iston. Children 10 and under
are invited to bring a flash-
light and gather eggs. (541-
667-5018).
Hermiston Christian
Center
•1825 W. Highland Ave.
•Sunday, 6 a.m.
Make a day of it during
the Hermiston Christian
Center’s Easter celebration,
which includes a morning
hike to the Hermiston Butte
(leaving from the parking lot
at Umatilla Electric Coop-
erative, 750 W. Elm). After
watching the sun rise and a
time of prayer and worship,
back at the church there
will be a continental break-
fast at 9 a.m.; followed by a
worship service at 10 a.m.
and an Easter egg hunt after-
ward. (541-567-3480)
IRRIGON
Irrigon Marina Park
•430 Eighth St. N.E.
•Saturday, 11 a.m.
The Community Easter
EGGtravaganza offers fun
NIE
East Oregonian, File
Seth Grigsby, 2, participates in a special Easter egg hunt at Hermiston Church of the Naz-
arene in 2019.
for infants and children.
(541-922-3054)
Irrigon Moose Lodge
•220 N.E. Third St.
•Saturday, 10 a.m. to
noon
With
C OV I D -19
concerns, Irrigon Moose
Lodge 2486 & Chapter 2144
is getting creative with a
drive-by Easter event while
supplies last. Children 0-12
are encouraged to swing by
with their parents to pick up
a bag of candy-filled Easter
eggs. Also, some lucky kids
will find a special prize
ticket. (541-922-1802).
MILTON-
FREEWATER
Pioneer Posse Grounds
•84581 Highway 11
•Saturday, 10 a.m.
Children ages 1-10
are invited to the annual
community Easter egg
hunt. Easter bunny helpers
will include royalty from
the Pioneer Posse and Walla
Walla Fair & Frontier Days.
People are asked to wear
masks.
Mi lton-Freewater
Drive-In Theater
•84322 Highway 11
•Su nd ay, Apr il 4,
8-10 a.m.
The second annual Easter
at the Milton-Freewater
Drive-In Theater, presented
by the Milton-Freewater
Faith Bible Church, will be
a presentation of “Via Dolo-
rosa,” a live dramatization
and music in English and
Spanish to be enjoyed from
the comfort of your vehicle,
streamed live through radio.
Free, but the event is limited
to 300 vehicles so it’s best to
arrive early. (317-727-8957)
and at the nearby Pilot Rock
City Park. Candy and dona-
tions can be dropped off
at city hall or call Heather
at 541-377-2764 (541-443-
2811).
PILOT ROCK
UMATILLA
City hall & elementary
school
•200 Vern McGowan
Drive
•Saturday, 9 a.m.
The Pilot Rock Cham-
ber of Commerce is hosting
community Easter egg hunts
for babes in arms through
students in fifth grade.
People should gather at Pilot
Rock Elementary School
Nugent Park
•725 Eighth St.
•Friday, 8 p.m.
A Flashlight Easter Egg
Hunt sponsored by the city
of Umatilla will offer kids
in three divided age groups
an opportunity to search in
the dark. Be sure to bring a
flashlight, an Easter basket
and wear masks. (541-922-
3226).
STANFIELD
Coe Park
•West Coe Avenue
•Saturday, 10 a.m.
Kids up to age 12 are
invited to a community
Easter egg hunt. Coordi-
nated by Stanfield Moose
Lodge #920, the event
features lots of eggs and
some special prizes. (541-
449-3304)
COMMUNITY BRIEFING
Community
Center welcomes
breakfast crowd
STANFIELD — The
monthly community break-
fast at the Stanfield Commu-
nity Center returns Saturday,
April 3, from 7-10 a.m. at
225 W. Roosevelt.
With an à la carte menu,
people can pick and choose
what they would like to eat.
Rose Emerson said the aver-
age cost for a breakfast meal
is $7.
The breakfast will be
held the first Saturday of
each month. For more infor-
mation, contact Emerson at
remerson1206@gmail.com
or call the center at 541-449-
1332.
Fishtrap Fireside
features longtime
favorite
ENTERPRISE — Fish-
trap Fireside wraps up its
eighth season of readings
from Wallowa County
writers on Friday, April 2,
beginning at 7 p.m., with
longtime Fishtrap favor-
ite Pamela Royes, and new
voices in Dustin Lyons and
Adele Schott.
The ser ies can be
Sponsor List:
Newspapers In Education
Thursday, April 1, 2021
A & G Property Management &
Maintenance
Barton Laser Leveling
Blue Mountain Community College
Blue Mountain Diagnostic Imaging
CHI St. Anthony Hospital
CMG Financial
CMG Financial
Columbia Point Equipment Company
Corteva Agriscience
Davita Blue Mountain Kidney Center
Desire For Healing Inc
Duchek Construction
Hill Meat Company
Jeremy J Larson DMD LLC
Kirby Nagelhout Construction Co.
accessed online at www.
fishtrap.org/fishtrap-fire-
side-2/, or on Fishtrap’s
YouTube channel. A video
of the event also will be
available following the
program.
Fishtrap Fireside is a
monthly reading series
featuring diverse voices
from around Wallowa
County. Each month’s
episode offers a fresh look
at what people of the West
are thinking about and writ-
ing down.
The April episode of
Fishtrap Fireside is spon-
sored by Wallowa Lake
Lodge.
Josephy Center
to host youth art
festival
JOSEPH — The Josephy
Center for Arts in Culture in
Joseph opens The Wallowa
Valley Youth Arts Festival
on Saturday, April 10, from
12-5 p.m. The exhibit will
run through April 17.
“The Youth Arts Festival
is a great way to celebrate
Wallowa Valley students’
artwork, and we want to
show off all the talents in
the safest way possible.
Last year, we had to cancel
the event due to COVID-19
Kopacz Nursery & Florist
Landmark Tax Services
McEntire Dental
McKay Creek Estates
NW Metal Fabricators Inc
Pendleton KOA
RE/MAX Cornerstone
Rob Merriman Plumbing & Heating Inc
Starvation Ridge Farming, LLC
Sun Terrace Hermiston
Tum-A-Lum Lumber
Umatilla Electric Cooperative
Umatilla Electric Cooperative
WalMart
Closure, but with caution, I
think we can make the event
fun,” said Executive Direc-
tor Cheryl Coughlan in a
press release.
Pamela Beach, Jose-
phy Center art instructor
shared, “Kiddos are really
excited to have the Youth
Arts Festival back so they
can show off their works and
see what others are creating
and what kid doesn’t love
getting a ribbon ... it’s a long
time coming and I’m thrilled
to see what kids have been
creating.”
With COVID-19 restric-
tions, the gallery will be
limited to 30 visitors and all
visitors must wear masks
while in the building. The
center will give out Art Bags
to visitors, and awards will
be presented to the artists
and their artwork. Refresh-
ments and snacks will be
available to visitors.
The Youth Arts Festival
has always been under the
umbrella of the Wallowa
Valley A r ts Cou ncil.
In fall of 2019, the Arts
Council merged with the
Josephy Center, and this
year’s festival will be the
Josephy Center’s f irst
official festival.
“We are so honored to
take over this program,
we want to make this a
special annual event where
the community can come
together and celebrate the
talented art students we have
in this county,” said Megan
Wolfe, program coordinator
at the Josephy Center.
The event is co-spon-
sored by Building Healthy
Families. Other sponsors
include the Soroptimist of
Wallowa County.
Local officers
graduate from
DPSST classes
SALEM — Deputy Sher-
iff Devon Patrick, of the
Umatilla County Sheriff’s
Office, recently completed
requirements for the Basic
Corrections Local Class 44
through the Oregon Depart-
ment of Public Safety Stan-
dards and Training. And
Parole and Probation Offi-
cer Kimberly Robinson of
Umatilla County Commu-
nity Corrections graduated
from the 82nd Basic Parole
& Probation Officer Class.
Patrick and Robinson
will graduate during private
ceremonies on Friday, April
9, at the Oregon Public
Safety Academy in Salem,
due to COVID-19 protocols.
For more information, visit
www.oregon.gov/dpsst.
— EO Media Group