Saturday, March 13, 2021
VIEWPOINTS
East Oregonian
A5
Thoughts for just another day
J.D.
SMITH
FROM THE HEADWATERS
OF DRY CREEK
I
collect one liners and jokes on little
slips of paper in shoe boxes. Here is
a sample of what I have gleaned over
the past few years from bumper stickers,
postcards, word of mouth, and the blessed
internet. We are better than a year into this
COVID mess. I figure maybe we could use
a bit of comedic relief.
Never fight ugly people, they have noth-
ing to lose.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
Be prepared. The meek are coming.
Born once, that was plenty.
I intend to live forever — so far, so
good.
It’s been Monday all week.
Nothing political is correct.
One by one, the penguins slowly steal
my sanity.
Pee for enjoyment, not for employment.
Jesus loves you, but I’m his favorite.
Reincarnation: Been that, done there.
Save trees. Wipe with an owl.
Smile and the world audits your taxes.
Stop animal experimentation. Use
lawyers.
Teach. Don’t Preach.
Thank you for not breeding.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings
back so many memories.
The urge to scream tells me I must be at
work.
Next time you wave, use all your
fingers.
The way to a man’s heart is between the
fourth and fifth ribs.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and
plow into a parked car.
Those who live by the sword get shot by
those who don’t.
Too bad stupidity isn’t painful.
A good way to deal with predators is to
taste terrible.
I kept an open mind and my brains fell
out.
Was today really necessary?
As useful as a mint-flavored supposi-
tory.
When you do a good deed get a receipt,
in case heaven is like the tax man.
My career is taking off. I’m never at
work.
When you don’t know what to do, walk
fast and look worried.
Why is there always so much month left
at the end of the money?
You’re the reason God created the
middle finger.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow
your nose.
Coincidence happens.
An unbreakable toy is useful for break-
ing other toys.
Blood is thicker than water, and tastier.
He wears a hat so he can remember
which end to wipe.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
I would jog, but the ice would fall out of
my glass.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they
have.
Once I thought I was wrong — but I was
mistaken.
Pornography? We don’t even have a
pornograph!
The buck doesn’t even slow down here.
Cheerios are not doughnut seeds.
Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
As useless as windshield wipers on a
duck’s butt.
Why can’t we just spell it “orderves?”
I’m already visualizing the duct tape
over your mouth.
Never enter a butt-kicking contest with
a porcupine.
I caught him tossing bread crumbs to
helicopters.
He’s got it floored in neutral.
My future is behind schedule.
His head whistles in a cross wind.
If I called you a wit, I’d be half right.
He is one brain cell away from being a
talking monkey.
There should be a warning label on her
forehead.
Did you sit under the ozone hole too
long?
He is tall enough to hunt geese with a
rake.
I sold my car for gas money.
I lettered in track as a member of the
javelin catching team.
———
J.D. Smith is an accomplished writer and
jack-of-all-trades. He lives in Athena.
A solution for salmon, business and our future
E. LITTLELEAF
A. LITTLELEAF
OTHER VIEWS
s descendants of the Wasco Tribe of
the Confederated Tribes of Warm
Springs, the Columbia River and its
tributaries are like the veins and arteries of
our own bodies. For some, “Water is Life”
has become a slogan, a hashtag. For us, it’s
who we are.
Right now, the native people of the
Columbia River Basin are hurting. On
top of the overlapping crises caused by
COVID-19 and a struggling economy, our
rivers are sick and choked by dams. The
salmon runs that sustained our people
A
since time immemorial are slipping toward
extinction. The salmon represent food,
ceremony and community. If the salmon
disappear, so does our identity, our culture,
our existence.
That is why salmon recovery in the
Columbia and Snake rivers is not just an
environmental issue. This is an issue of
justice, health and community — and it
requires urgent action and bold solutions.
That is why we are grateful to Rep.
Mike Simpson, R-Idaho, for releasing an
ambitious new proposal to restore rivers
and salmon, and revitalize our region’s
economy. Congressman Simpson’s plan
would restore a free-flowing lower Snake
River and also includes actions to improve
river health and water quality across the
region. His plan aims to boost salmon and
steelhead runs while creating jobs and
making significant investments in clean
energy, agriculture and the economy.
We also applaud Oregon Gov. Kate
Brown for her strong leadership on salmon
recovery, continuing to hold the federal
government to account, and for her support
for a comprehensive, collaborative solution
for Columbia-Snake salmon.
We own and operate a fly-fishing guide
service on the Deschutes River and we see
firsthand the importance of strong salmon
runs to our own bottom line and to local
economies. When we think about how to
create jobs and boost the state’s economy,
we need to prioritize healthy rivers and
salmon. Restoring a free-flowing lower
Snake River would revitalize fishing busi-
nesses and communities along the river.
Federal investment to replace the energy,
transportation and irrigation services
those four dams currently provide would
strengthen our state and our region.
Since time immemorial, our ancestors
have lived in abundance. Now, because
of mismanagement of our rivers and first
foods, we’re all in a place of scarcity. It
doesn’t have to be this way.
We are water protectors. We are Indig-
enous. We are a voice for first foods, our
salmon, roots and huckleberries — the list
is extensive. None of that would be possi-
ble without water. So it is our duty to stand
up and fight and be the voice. Because if
we don’t, we don’t have anything, there is
no life.
We encourage other elected officials
in the region to follow Brown’s lead and
come together. They can use Simpson’s
proposal as a starting point to create a
lasting solution that truly benefits this
special place we all call home. If we work
together, if we focus on the values that
connect us, we can begin to share abun-
dance once again.
———
Alysia and Elke Littleleaf are Warm
Springs tribal members and co-owners of
Littleleaf Guide Service. They are based in
Warm Springs.
To save community college,
consider a K-14 structure
KIM
PUZEY
OTHER VIEWS
few days ago, I wrote about
what I believe is the foresee-
able and inevitable insolvency
of Blue Mountain Community College
under the present model of operations
and funding.
In my opinion, the greatest impedi-
ment to the community college system
in Oregon is financial dependence on
the discretionary portion of the state
budget. As mentioned in the earlier
piece, that is not the case with K-12
and higher education.
In the private sector, when an enter-
prise is struggling with cash f low to
the point of probable insolvency or
bankruptcy, there are often conver-
sations about mergers, acquisitions,
A
ities associated with the Hermiston
Higher Education Center and function
as K-14.
A possible merger or acquisition
of assets could be that Oregon State
University takes over the facilities
and instructional responsibility of
the Precision Agriculture building
located at the Hermiston Agricultural
Research and Extension Center outside
of Hermiston.
The Pendleton campus and facilities
could be acquired by Eastern Oregon
University.
State funding would become manda-
tory instead of discretionary, bach-
elor’s and master’s degrees could be
awarded from the local university
satellite, and Pendleton would become
a “university” town instead of a
“college” town overnight.
Sports teams and associated scholar-
ships would become four-year instead
of two-year, and each of these propos-
als might better fit contemporary
“I OPENLY CALL UPON OFFICIALS IN K-12,
HIGHER EDUCATION, BMCC, GOVERNING
BOARDS, AND ELECTED OFFICIALS TO
CONSIDER A MORE VIABLE EDUCATIONAL
FUTURE FOR THE REGION.”
dissolution or divestiture of assets. I
have been mulling these options over
in my mind for quite some time.
In order for Blue Mountain Commu-
nity College to come under the manda-
tory state budget umbrella, I have
wondered about K-12 expanding to
K-14, which is something that we are
currently doing through dual-credit
enrollment and advanced placement
courses. Under this model, motivated
high school students could continue
to earn enough credit for an associ-
ate’s degree upon graduation from high
school.
The Baker City Center could be
acquired by the Baker School District
and the center could be converted into
the Baker Technical Institute (BTI),
which has been discussed in the past.
Again, the funding would be under
the mandatory umbrella of K-12 or
K-14.
Similar discussions could take
place with respect to facilities and
services in Hermiston, Boardman and
Milton-Freewater.
The Hermiston School District
could acquire all of the BMCC facil-
needs based on what falling enrollment
has demonstrated over the past decade.
I’m not an expert in the matters I
have suggested herein, but as a private
citizen, I would like to see conversa-
tions take place around these proposals
by those who are closer to the deliv-
ery instruction and the management of
these public services and assets.
I think it’s conceivable that a collab-
orative approach to rectifying what
I have described as a f lawed system
might generate sufficient interest to
lobby for funds to conduct a thorough,
comprehensive and detailed feasibility
study of these suggestions and myriad
other matters that may or may not be
viable under closer scrutiny.
I openly call upon officials in K-12,
higher education, BMCC, govern-
ing boards, and elected officials to
consider a more viable educational
future for the region.
———
Kim Puzey lives in Hermiston and
is the general manager of the Port of
Umatilla. He is a member of the Blue
Mountain Community College Board of
Education.
Challenging the one bad actor myth
GOLDBERG
VAN SAUN
OTHER VIEWS
fter recent fraud allegations, a
lawsuit filed by Tyson and Easter-
day Ranches declaring bankruptcy,
the Easterdays have shown Oregonians that
they are incapable of operating a mega-
dairy on the former site of Lost Valley
Farm in Morrow County.
Lost Valley Farm was shut down in
2019, after committing more than 200 envi-
ronmental violations. The Oregon Depart-
ment of Agriculture and the dairy lobby
painted Lost Valley’s “mismanagement”
as a bad outlier among industrial farming
operations. However, the current scandal
surrounding the Easterday family, which
has proposed a new mega-dairy on the site
of the former Lost Valley Farm, shows that
the Lost Valley disaster was not just the
result of a lone bad actor.
These issues are inherent to the indus-
try. The Oregon Department of Agricul-
ture is aware of the lawsuit, but continues
to review draft permits for the proposed
mega-dairy. This is unacceptable.
Mega-dairies, regardless of compli-
ance, are inherently dangerous. They
contribute to extensive air pollution and
water contamination that harm Oregon’s
rural communities. The whole mega-dairy
system is foul.
Livestock production is the leading
source of methane in the U.S., and emis-
sions continue to increase: from 1990 to
2017, U.S. methane emissions from dairy
cattle manure rose 134%. Apart from meth-
ane, cow manure also emits ammonia,
A
nitrous oxide and hydrogen sulfide. These
gases have been linked to hazy air pollu-
tion in the Columbia River Gorge and nega-
tively affect the communities near these
mega-dairies.
Manure not only contributes to air pollu-
tion, it also impacts waterways. In 2018,
Oregon mega-dairies produced 5 billion
pounds of manure; that’s 42 times the
waste produced by the entire population of
Portland. In the right quantities, manure
is a beneficial fertilizer. But mega-dairies
produce enormous amounts of manure,
and the manure’s nitrates, antibiotics and
other chemicals leach into groundwater and
become runoff that flows into streams and
rivers. This runoff eventually reaches the
Columbia River and threatens water qual-
ity and the ecosystem.
Mega-dairies produce air emissions and
waste on par with our nation’s largest cities,
yet they portray themselves to the public as
harmless family farms. We are not fooled.
Oregon cannot become the next hotbed of
mega-dairy production. We must stop the
spread of these industrial operations by
supporting Senate Bill 583 and House Bill
2924 that call for a moratorium on indus-
trial dairy farms.
The Lost Valley and now Easterday
scandals point to more than just two bad
actors. The pattern is clear, these actions
are standard within the toxic mega-dairy
industry. We must protect our fellow
Oregonians and places of natural beauty
by stopping the construction of new
mega-dairies.
———
Lauren Goldberg and Amy van Saun
are founding members of the Stand Up to
Factory Farms Coalition, featuring local,
state and national organizations concerned
about the harmful impacts of mega-dair-
ies on Oregon’s family farms, communities,
environment, and animal welfare.