A8
COFFEE BREAK
East Oregonian
Saturday, December 5, 2020
DEAR ABBY
Mom takes son-in-law’s side in custody battle
Dear Abby: I got divorced a year
ter what they did. I was awarded full
ago. Before it became fi nal, there were
physical and legal custody of both of
many court appearances. My hus-
them, by the way. Is there something
band told my mother we were divorc-
wrong with me for not feeling sad or
ing because I was unfaithful, which
missing her and being so angry after
is true. What he didn’t say was I felt
an entire year has passed? — Numb
neglected, abandoned and unwanted,
in New Jersey
all things he knew because I
Dear Numb: Wrong? In
had discussed them with him
your words, your relation-
and he ignored me.
ship with your mother had
Either way, she is my
never been great. That she
mother, not his, and she
appeared in court as a sur-
showed up with him to a cou-
prise witness for your hus-
ple of court dates to vouch
band must have been a ter-
for him to have custody of
rible shock. I assume your
our kids! I was sad, morti-
mother has not tried to apol-
J EANNE
fi ed and angry. It happened
ogize for what she did. If
P HILLIPS
with no warning. Mother and
that’s true, there is nothing
ADVICE
I had not severed contact.
wrong with your justifi able
As a matter of fact, she had
anger unless it’s eating at you
recently spent a week with me and
and negatively affecting your qual-
our kids in our home.
ity of life. If that is what’s happening,
Our relationship had never been
talking with a licensed psychothera-
great, but now it’s over. It has been a
pist will help you straighten out your
year since we last spoke, and I feel no
thinking.
remorse, no sadness, no regrets, only
Dear Abby: In 2014, my family
anger that she turned against her own
found out that my father was having
daughter. Regardless of what I did, I
an affair. He had been with his wife
am her child. As a mother, I would
for 24 years. We all bit our tongues
never betray my children, no mat-
as he moved “Jasmine” in with him,
and then moved her family into their
small, one-bedroom house as well.
Since he got involved with Jas-
mine, he has started smoking again
and lost a lot of weight. We hardly see
or talk to him these days. Everything
he does she must approve. We know
he isn’t happy, but he won’t admit it to
any of us. (We heard it from a couple
of his close friends.)
My wedding is coming up in 2021.
My fear is that Jasmine will some-
how prevent him from going. How
can we all approach this subject with
him without upsetting him? If he isn’t
there to walk me down the aisle, it will
be a sad day. — Lost in Colorado
Dear Lost: I don’t think that at
this point you (all) should approach
your father about this. Instead, try
befriending Jasmine, which will
enable you to keep a closer eye on
him and his health. If you can manage
that, she may be less likely to prevent
your dad from walking you down the
aisle. In the meantime, cross your fi n-
gers and hope your dad comes to his
senses and fi nds the courage to move
the woman and her family out of his
home and out of your lives.
DAYS GONE BY
100 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
Dec. 5, 1920
School week in Pendleton will be observed with visit-
ing days in each of the buildings, an exhibit of handwork in
the Umatilla county library and special observances in the
schools, according to an announcement made last evening by
the city superintendent of schools. The week is nationwide in
scope. The exhibit of domestic science and art work in the
county library will be the most comprehensive of any yet
seen in Pendleton. It will be placed in the assembly and club
rooms and will be open each afternoon to the public. Post-
ers that have been prepared by the art classes in the schools
are among the important exhibits of the week. In most of
the school rooms special displays will be made and the indi-
vidual schools will have visiting days. The movement is
designed to acquaint grown-ups with the needs and progress
of schools and children to understand better the reason why
they are attending school.
50 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
Dec. 5, 1970
Helen Gibson lives in a big, blue and white house on
Despain Avenue. She lived there alone until last spring,
when the three teenage girls came to live with her — on
a trial basis. Two more joined the household in late sum-
mer. Wards of the court, the girls were sent to Helen Gib-
son by the Umatilla County Juvenile Department, which
wanted to start a group foster home for girls, to give them
the same advantages boys get at the County Boy’s Farm.
The Juvenile Advisory Council suggested Mrs. Gibson. A
widow and former teacher, Mrs. Gibson said she “couldn’t
resist the challenge.” Once the girls prove they will follow
the house rules, they are offered a permanent place to stay.
These girls, some of them runaways from previous homes,
some who have been in the foster system since they were
young, have found the security of good food, a comfortable
home, companionship with their peers — and most of all,
the interested concern of an adult.
25 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
Dec. 5, 1995
Anxiety over an uncertain future turned to optimism Mon-
day as mill workers at the Louisiana-Pacifi c Corp. sawmill in
Pilot Rock went back to work, ending a fi ve-month shutdown.
The town’s primary employer was closed all but nine weeks
this year, operating only in January and June. “We’re all glad
to be getting back to work. It’s been a discouraging year,”
said Steve Janke, mill manager. Ironically, the Pilot Rock
mill is running today largely due to the closure of two other
L-P mills, at Walla Walla and Post Falls, Idaho. “We feel sad
because we are feeling like we’re dancing at someone else’s
funeral,” Janke said. Long-term continued operation depends
on the federal government’s willingness to open national for-
ests to logging, he said, because the supply of logs from pri-
vate land is growing increasingly diffi cult to purchase.
Foundation
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