COFFEE BREAK Saturday, September 26, 2020 East Oregonian A9 DEAR ABBY Wife starts to resent man’s constant demands for gifts Dear Abby: I feel uncomfortable receiv- ing gifts, and I fi nd it hard to meet my hus- band’s requests for constant gifts, espe- cially when I feel I already give so much. He constantly asks me to buy him things, some of which are very expensive. I’m a saver, not a spender, and I try to watch my budget. I already pay all the household bills, even though we make the same amount of money. I owned my house before we met, and he chips in with occa- sional upgrades and maintenance or takes me out to dinner once in a while. But I pay for the vast majority of expenses, as well as perform the majority of chores. I have sacrifi ced and paid for all our vaca- tions because I wanted the experience, and I accept that. The problem is, he seems to feel unap- preciated, suggesting that if I gifted him more often, he would know he was con- stantly thought of. He says he buys me ran- dom gifts — usually small items to which they are requested. there are strings attached or implied reci- Whether your husband is greedy, selfi sh procity. These requests, especially when or extremely needy, I can’t guess, but the he buys for himself quite a bit, balance is off in your marriage. seem like a smack in the face to This is why I’m recommending me. I feel he’s impulsive with pur- you consult a marriage and fam- chases, and won’t be happy until I ily therapist. If your husband is have nothing left. willing to go with you and discuss How do I handle meeting my these issues, they can be resolved. husband’s need for constant val- If not, please go alone so you can idation without going bankrupt gain clearer insight into what (and or having all the love sucked out whom) you are dealing with. J EANNE from resentment? Mentioning my Dear Abby: My mother likes P HILLIPS fi nancial limitations doesn’t seem to tell people where to sit at every ADVICE to quench his thirst for more. — family gathering. It can be any- Excessive in New York where, including at a restaurant or Dear Excessive: If my reading of your even at my aunt’s house. It’s annoying and letter is accurate, you are doing all the feels disrespectful. heavy lifting in your marriage. What, I’m 49, and my girls are in their early exactly, is your husband contributing 20s. I try to be patient, but she doesn’t con- except to ask for more? Gifts are supposed sider health conditions or if someone is to be freely given, not dispensed because left-handed. My older daughter was severely trauma- tized by a former neighbor and doesn’t do well with strangers. A few years ago, my cousin’s boyfriend came, and my mother ordered my daughter to sit next to him. It was horrible for my daughter. We tried one more time last year at a restaurant, and it was the same. Since then, we have skipped family gatherings. I don’t know why she feels she has to tell us what to do. Please help. — Pushed Around in Kentucky Dear Pushed: Have you talked to your mother about this? She may, for whatever reason, need to feel she is in control. If she isn’t hosting the gathering, this may be her way of maintaining dominance in her rela- tionship with her sister, her children and grandchildren. I’m not sure you can change your mother, but please don’t cut yourself off from the rest of your family. If you aren’t seeing them individually, please consider it. DAYS GONE BY 100 YEARS AGO Sept. 26, 1920 Lettie, the far-famed Round-Up buffalo, is wild no lon- ger. She wears a ribbon on her horn and eats from the hand of Miss Helen Irving, Los Angeles girl who is a Pendleton visitor. Miss Irving, who has for many years been in the movies, became interested in the buffalo and began efforts to tame her. Using kindness and tact, Miss Irving soon trained Lettie to come when called and to do simple tricks. This is Miss Irving’s fi rst experience training wild animals. She thinks her next pupil will be Sharkey, the Round-Up bull, for he already has shown signs of repentance and Miss Irving believes he can be coaxed from his wild and wooly ways. 50 YEARS AGO Sept. 26, 1970 It isn’t summer yet in Australia, so Joe Allison decided not to return there immediately after Round-Up. He has been the guest of Duff Severe during his stay in Pendle- ton, and this was not his fi rst Round-Up. His home is in the state of Victoria, in the southern part of the continent near Melbourne. He lives on a 10-acre place where he raises horses. Lately his interest has been focused on quarter horses, which are very popular in Australia now. “Last year one stud sold for $20,000,” he said. He said Jimmy Dix, an Australian who was a judge at the Round-Up, has bought an Appaloosa stud and a quarter horse stud to take back to Australia. Allison will be taking home his third Severe Brothers saddle. He said he had heard about their saddles before he ever came to Pendleton. 25 YEARS AGO Sept. 26, 1995 The residents of Meacham joke that their sparsely pop- ulated mountain village is a refuge for oddballs, thieves and outlaws. Really it’s just a place for hardscrabble folks who don’t mind dressing in layers. A mere half hour’s drive away in Pendleton, memories of a hot, dusty Round-Up aren’t yet two weeks old, but up here in the thin, crisp air there is foreshadowing of the sort of mind-numbing cold that comes every winter. It’s only a few days into autumn and the mercury has already made several trips into the 20s. Meacham has achieved the dubious honor of record- ing the nation’s overnight low seven times in the last two months. For residents, it helps to have a sense of humor and be of hearty stock. Nearly everyone who lives here has some sort of cold weather story to tell. Like how it got to 52 below last January, and how one time it took 45 minutes to boil water. THIS DAY IN HISTORY On Sept. 26, 1960, the fi rst-ever debate between presidential nominees took place as Democrat John F. Kennedy and Republican Richard M. Nixon faced off before a national TV audi- ence from Chicago. In 1777, British troops occupied Philadelphia during the American Revolution. In 1789, Thomas Jeffer- son was confi rmed by the Senate to be the fi rst United States secretary of state; John Jay, the fi rst chief jus- tice; Edmund Randolph, the fi rst attorney general. In 1888, poet T.S. Eliot was born in St. Louis, Missouri. In 1955, following word that President Eisen- hower had suffered a heart attack, the New York Stock Exchange saw its worst price decline since 1929. In 1964, the situation comedy “Gilligan’s Island” premiered on CBS-TV. In 1986, William H. Rehnquist was sworn in as the 16th chief justice of the United States, while Antonin Scalia joined the Supreme Court as its 103rd member. In 1990, the Motion Pic- ture Association of Amer- ica announced it had cre- ated a new rating, NC-17, to replace the X rating. In 1991, four men and four women began a two- year stay inside a sealed- off structure in Oracle, Ari- zona, called Biosphere 2. (They emerged from Bio- sphere on this date in 1993.) In 1996, President Clin- ton signed a bill ensur- ing two-day hospital stays for new mothers and their babies. In 2003, President George W. Bush and Rus- sian President Vladimir Putin opened a two-day summit at Camp David. In 2005, Army Pfc. Lyn- ndie England was convicted by a military jury in Fort Hood, Texas, on six of seven counts stemming from the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal. (England was sen- tenced to three years in prison; she ended up serv- ing half that time.) In 2016, Republican Donald Trump and Demo- crat Hillary Clinton partici- pated in their fi rst debate of the presidential campaign at Hofstra University in New York; Clinton emphatically denounced Trump for keep- ing his personal tax returns and business dealings secret from voters while Trump repeatedly cast Clinton as a “typical politician.” Today’s Birthdays: Retired baseball All-Star Bobby Shantz is 95. Singer Olivia Newton-John is 72. Rock singer-musician Cesar Rosas (Los Lobos) is 66. Actor Linda Hamilton is 64. Singer Tracey Thorn (Everything But The Girl) is 58. Actor Mark Famiglietti is 41. Singer-actor Christina Milian is 39. Tennis player Serena Williams is 39. Worship Community PENDLETON LIGHTHOUSE CHURCH Sunday Service: 10am & 6pm Tuesday Kingdom Seekers: 7pm Wednesday Bible Study: 7pm We offer: Sunday School • Sign Language Interpreters • Nursery • Transportation • & more! Pastor Dan Satterwhite 541.377.4252 • 417 NW 21st St. • Pendleton, OR 97801 www.facebook.com/PendletonLighthouseChurch To share your worship times call 541-564-4538 First United Methodist Church OPEN HEARTS – OPEN DOOR www.graceandmercylutheran.org Sunday Worship 8:45 a.m. Sunday School 10:00 a.m. (Nursery Provided) Fellowship, Refreshments & Sunday School Check Out our Facebook Page or Website for More Information Pendleton 210 NW 9th St. Pendleton Oregon Sunday Services limited to 100 per Service 108 S. Main St. Pendleton Sunday at 10:30am 1st Service: 8:30am 2nd Service: 10:30am Live stream 10:30am at PendletonFirst.com/live Wednesdays: Family Night: 6:00 pm “A come as You are Church” Celebrate Recovery: 6:00 pm LCMC Sunday worship at 11:00 AM Pastor Michael Smith 420 Locust St. • Boardman, OR 541-481-6132 Thursdays: Pendleton First Assembly of God 1911 SE Court Ave. PO Box 728 541.276.6417 pendletonfirst.com St. Johns Episcopal Church Join Us Us Join On Our Journey With Jesus. Join us on ZOOM 9:00 AM Sunday Email: chuckb@eotnet.net for link N.E. Gladys Ave & 7th, Hermiston PH: 567-6672 We are an all inclusive Church who welcomes all. 541-289-4535 Pastor Weston Walker Grace and Mercy Lutheran Church, ELCA (First United Methodist Church) 191 E. Gladys Ave. / P.O. Box 1108 Hermiston, Oregon 97838 Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors Patty Nance, pastor The Salvation Army Center for Worship & Service PendletonFaithCenter. com Good Shepherd Lutheran Church (Peace Lutheran Church) Sunday worship 8:30pm 541-276-2616 Sunday Worship Service 9:30 - Sunday School 10:30 - Worship Service Wednesday Bible Study 5:30 Family Fellowship Meal • 6:00 Bible Study COME AS YOU ARE 150 SE Emigrant (541) 276-3369 FAITH LUTHERAN CHURCH in Mission for Christ LCMC Sunday Worship.........9:00 AM Bible Study......10:15 AM Red Lion Hotel ( Oregon Trail Room ) Redeemer Episcopal Church 241 SE Second St. Pendleton (541)276-3809 www.pendletonepiscopal.org ok - a.m r Pendle 9 t a e Sunday Holy Communion days un edeem 9:00 a.m. live S of the R Wednesday Holy ming ch Communion Noon Strea pal Chur o Episc cebo M-F Morning Prayer at . 7:00 on Fa a.m. ton All Are Welcome Solid Rock Community Church 140 SW 2nd St Hermiston, OR 97838 Online Worship Available 541-567-6937 tinyurl.com/yyd996gq Worship Service: 11:00AM Sunday School: 9:45 Pastor Wilbur Clark Office Ph: 276-5358 M-th; 8:30a-12:30p www.fccpendleton.org Community Presbyterian Church 14 Martin Drive, Umatilla, OR 922-3250 Worship: 10 AM Sunday School at 11:30