COFFEE BREAK
Saturday, February 22, 2020
East Oregonian
C5
DEAR ABBY
Woman is trapped by guilt in an accidental friendship
Dear Abby: Years ago, I was
or the same hours) or taking care of
friendly with a man from work who
her dogs and cats while she’s away on
was very close to his mom.
her various work trips.
She came along with us once
I no longer speak to the
for lunch and ended up really
man, but I speak to his mother
liking me. From that point on,
every single day. She considers
whenever he and I would get
me a dear friend and is a very
together for lunch, she would
sensitive person with obvious
tag along.
abandonment issues. My prob-
lem is, I have zero desire to be
At one point, without my
J eanne
permission, he gave her my
this woman’s friend. We are
P hilliPs
phone number, and she began
very different in pretty much
ADVICE
calling me. A little has turned
every way imaginable. I get
into a lot. She contacts me
together with her, respond to
every day via text or phone, almost
her messages, answer her calls and do
always to complain about something
favors for her out of guilt, not wanting
in her life. She always wants to get
to be yet another person who kicks her
together for lunch and is constantly
to the curb.
asking me for favors, including rides
How do I handle this? Should I con-
tinue to allow her to use me for favors
to work (we do not have the same job
and as a sounding board for all her
various complaints, or is there a way
to gracefully bow out without break-
ing this woman’s heart? — Walking
A Fine Line in Illinois
Dear Walking: A way to bow out
would be to start weaning her. Do not
make yourself available to the extent
that you have. Screen your calls and
resist the impulse to be so helpful. It’s
all right to have other plans you need
to attend to instead of being at her
beck and call every day. This is how
people distance themselves gently.
The alternative would be to stop
responding at all, which would be
cruel. While you are no longer close
to her son, contact him, tell him what
has been going on and ask if he can
help with this.
DAYS GONE BY
100 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
Feb. 22, 1920
Failure of the combination of the big Walla Walla post
office safe to work tied up thousands of dollars worth of
securities this week and Postmaster George B. Day, after
trying in vain, finally had to get the service of an oxyacety-
lene expert to drill a hole in the safe door, according to the
story which leaked out today and which Mr. Day admitted.
Before Mr. Day called the expert he sought to get a safe
cracker from the penitentiary to open the safe, but Warden
Drum was out of that brand of criminals.
50 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
Feb. 22, 1970
Jack C. Stangier, a member of a third generation family in
Pendleton, died Sunday at St. Anthony Hospital. Mr. Stang-
ier was named Pendleton’s First Citizen in 1958. His mother
received the First Citizen Award the same year. In 1959, he
received the International Rodeo Management Man of the
Year Award. He had served as an International Rodeo Asso-
ciation commissioner, was a past president of the Pendleton
Round-Up Association and served on the Round-Up board
for 12 years. Mr. Stangier served 4 1/2 years in the 13th U.S.
Air Force. He was a first lieutenant with overseas duty for
two years in the South Pacific and was awarded the Bronze
Star. Other than his military service and higher education,
Mr. Stangier resided in Pendleton all his life. Since 1957 he
had operated Stangier Auto Supply.
25 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
Feb. 22, 1995
Black powder never deteriorates, said explosives expert
Bob Blandford. When it dries it’s good as new. Blandford is
project manager for a Virginia company hired by the Army
to find and destroy unexploded ammunition in two areas
of the Umatilla Army Depot, which is cleaning house and
moving out for good. The depot, which Congress decided to
close in 1988, has removed all its conventional ammunition
as of last fall. For years, depot workers tested ammunition
and exploded old or out-of-service items, such as shells, and
some remain as what the Army calls “unexploded ordinance”
or UXO. Blandford’s crew of 27 military veterans have been
trained to recognize and handle leftover munitions.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
On Feb. 22, 1980, the
“Miracle on Ice” took place
in Lake Placid, New York,
as the United States Olym-
pic hockey team upset the
Soviets, 4-3. (The U.S. team
went on to win the gold
medal.)
In 1732 (New Style
date), the first president of
the United States, George
Washington, was born in
Westmoreland County in
the Virginia Colony.
In 1862, Jefferson Davis,
already the provisional pres-
ident of the Confederacy,
was inaugurated for a six-
year term following his elec-
tion in November 1861.
In 1909, the Great White
Fleet, a naval task force sent
on a round-the-world voy-
age by President Theodore
Roosevelt, returned after
more than a year at sea.
In 1935, it became illegal
for airplanes to fly over the
White House.
In 1997, scientists in
Scotland announced they
had succeeded in cloning
an adult mammal, produc-
ing a lamb named “Dolly.”
(Dolly, however, was later
put down after a short life
marred by premature aging
and disease.)
In 2018, the U.S. wom-
en’s hockey team won the
gold medal at the Winter
Olympics in South Korea,
beating Canada 3-2 after a
shootout tiebreaker.
Thought for Today: “It is
better to offer no excuse than a
bad one.” — President George
Washington (1732-99).
Universal Crossword
Edited by David Steinberg February 22, 2020
ACROSS
1 Cake made with rum
5 Like most permed hair
11 Common email
attachment
14 Cordon ___
15 Legal profession,
familiarly
16 Understand
17 Chimney sweep’s
memoir? (Ella)
19 Favorable vote
20 First syllable of a kids’
menu game
21 Big letters in bowling
22 General MDs, to
insurers
23 Motto for a Boston
subway lover? (Ruth)
27 Dallas baller
28 Only partner?
29 Herculean dozen
30 Like lots of cars on lots
32 Follows, as a diet
35 County north of San
Francisco
37 Forensic lab evidence
38 Hawk relative
42 Find another purpose
for
45 Surface for airplane
food
46 Eyeball covering
49 Bird in Liberty Mutual
ads
51 Before, poetically
52 Stylish sirloin? (Ken)
56 Big disturbance
57 CPR pro
58 Key near the space bar
59 Kitchen pest
60 Get in touch with a
spam generator? (Tom)
65 Call alternative, in stock
trading
66 Curved, as eyebrows
67 Medical researcher’s
goal
68 “Me time” destination
69 Many writing
assignments
70 Youngster
DOWN
1 U.K. channel
2 “Green Book” star
Mahershala
3 Stooped
4 Tax cheat’s fear
5 Middle: Abbr.
6 Speech fillers
7 Change a price label
8 What you may “drop”
on Valentine’s Day, with
“the”
9 Scoldings
10 Help with the dishes
11 1960 film with a
notorious shower scene
12 Farther below the
surface
13 Celebratory meals
18 Alexa’s speaker
22 JFK’s war vessel
23 Apollo 11 org.
24 Tattoos, informally
25 Requiring lots of
reassurance
26 London museum
Name-Dropping by Samuel A. Donaldson
sudoku answers
27
31
33
34
36
39
40
41
43
44
46
47
48
50
53
54
55
60
61
62
63
64
Saying nothing
Be at the helm of
Ltr. insert
Turned white
Sponge ball brand
Steal, so to speak
“Happy” songbird
Examine
Subjects of many
school fairs
Extremes of Marxism?
Leftover bits
Exercise that may be
done with ankle weights
Ray of “Goodfellas”
State after Texas,
alphabetically
Computers with 27-inch
models
___ Sketch
Make a choice
Carly ___ Jepsen
“You there!”
QBs’ goals
“Mork & Mindy” planet
Concert souvenir