October 2019 - EASTERN OREGON PARENT - 7
Put down that iPhone and connect with your child
By JOSHUA MCGRAW
In the era of technology –
tablets, phones, computers,
and video games – children
and adults are becoming more
and more disconnected. We
sit in the same room as others,
yet we are miles apart zooming
through social media, checking
in on our to-do list, or making
sure the hottest new celebrity
hasn’t done something that’s
gone viral and we missed it.
We get sucked into the social
media world and forget about
the world right in our own
homes. We often miss out on
the happenings in our living
rooms with our family and friends.
We mentally check out as our chil-
dren attempt to bring us into their
world, the world of imagination and
creativity.
Conscious Discipline shows us
in order to truly connect we need
four simple things – eye contact,
touch, presence, and playfulness.
It is impossible to get these four,
critical elements through a device.
When one-on-one time is cut short,
with an adult or another child,
because of a tweet or text we lose
the connecting opportunity and
deepen the disconnected society.
Their brain tells them “I’m not as
important as the ding from a cell
phone.” This disconnect continues
generation after generation simply
because the first generation was
not taught how to connect with
others in the first place. We are not
capable of forming bonds with oth-
ers when we have not seen what
true connection looks and feels like.
One would think the ease of tex-
ting makes it easier to connect with
others. But is a simple text “hey”
enough? Do we create a more con-
nected universe by sending those
three letters? Our community is
Open late, open Saturday,
here for the whole family!
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growing further and further apart
when all the technological advances
should be bringing the outside
world in. So what is missing? Why
are we disconnected starting at
such a young age?
The four critical elements of
connection are missing from the
technological world we live in.
Touch, eye contact, presence and
playfulness releases oxytocin into
our bodies, giving a sense of joy
and happiness as we begin to feel
a deeper connection with those we
love.
We are at a critical point in our
world where we must learn how to
make contact, empathize, and show
we care about people around us. It
is time to put down our cell phones,
put down devices, and learn how
to connect with our children so
they become reconnected to their
peers and community. It starts
with the adults and continues with
the children. What kids see adults
do is what they will do when they
are adults. No matter how quiet,
easy, or glorious it is when a child
is plugged into a video game, I
challenge you: choose to play
a game together, discuss the
things your child wants to dis-
cuss, and show genuine inter-
est in the things that excite our
next generation of leaders.
The children in our commu-
nity are building connections
with each other and adults in
school through the structures
of Conscious Discipline. Our
children are learning how to
turn off devices and truly con-
nect with each other. Kids are
noticing when their friends are
upset, they recognize when
a simple, kind gesture can
change the path of peer. These
kids have the ability to empower
themselves and each other and
focus attention on being helpful
members in a family. Allow our new
generation of world changers to
teach us about connection so our
world can be a world of love, peace,
and kindness. We are in it together
and we got this! Our kids learn from
us. Show them the light and be the
change we want to see, so that our
world is a world of peace.
I encourage you to have your
child show you a few of the con-
necting activities we do in our
schools. Help refresh their brains
from summer by asking to see how
to do the butterfly, salmon, or milk-
ing the cow.
________
Joshua McGraw is a kindergarten
teacher for the Pendleton School
District, a partner with the Blue
Mountain Early Learning Hub,
which works to bridge early child-
hood resources and prepare chil-
dren for kindergarten. For more
information visit www.bluemoun-
tainearlylearninghub.org.