June 2019 - EASTERN OREGON PARENT - 5
The Dad Difference: What fathers bring to parenting
By SUZANNE KENNEDY
It’s a fact. Men and women are
different. And while many would
ascribe to the notion that “any-
thing you can do, I do better,” that’s
just not always the case. It’s not
supposed to be. Men and women
weren’t created to do all the same
things in all the same ways … we
were created to do everything the
opposite sex can’t do.
Dads tend to see their children
in relation to the rest of the world.
Moms tend to see the rest of the
world in relation to their children.
Alone, neither style gives the child
a well-balanced approach to life.
Taken together, they balance each
other out. Side note: Let me just
say this is not a knock on single par-
ents. We are all doing the best that
we can and single parents have to
put in twice the work. My hat is off
to you; I have no idea how you do it
all. Okay, let’s continue.
Fathers are more than “babysit-
ters” or second adults in the home.
They bring positive benefits to their
children that no other person is as
likely to bring. They provide pro-
tection and support that is vital in
healthy child development. In fact,
in an analysis of over 100 studies
on parent-child relationships, hav-
ing a loving and nurturing father
was as important for a child’s hap-
piness, well-being, and social and
academic success as having a loving
and nurturing mother.
Children with fathers (or father
figures) living at home tend to
exhibit lower levels of behavioral
problems. They get in trouble in
school less than their counterparts
without fathers in the homes. An
adolescent’s psychological well-
being is positively associated with
having a close relationship with his
or her father. They are less likely
to skip school, and they are less
likely to get in trouble with the law.
541-481-7212 • 450 Tatone Street, Boardman, OR 97818
Moreover, teens who report having
positive relationships with their fa-
thers are less likely to abuse drugs.
Many dads love their children
more “dangerously.” They rough-
house and encourage risk-taking.
Dads teach a wider variety of meth-
ods of dealing with life’s challenges
and disappointments. They teach
objectivity and the consequences
of right and wrong. Dads tend to
stress rules, justice and a sense of
duty. A father’s more active play
style promotes problem solving and
independence in his children.
For both boys and girls, grow-
ing up with a father appears to be
associated with 80% less chance
of incarceration later in life. Ado-
lescent males who report having a
close relationship with their fa-
thers are more likely to have stable
relationships and marriages in their
own lives. Studies show that a mar-
ried father is substantially less likely
to abuse his wife or children than
unmarried men. So, their children
end up with fewer sexual partners
and are even less likely to become
abusers themselves.
Fathers help prepare their chil-
dren for healthy relationships by
demonstrating what it means to
be respectful to the opposite sex.
Girls learn what they should ex-
pect from their husbands and boys
learn how to treat women. In one
study, researchers found that the
number one factor in developing
empathy in children was a father’s
involvement. Spending regular time
with their children translated into
compassionate adults.
Fathers and daughters also
have an important relationship.
Girls with present fathers are less
likely to develop depression and
more likely to delay sexual activity.
They are 75% less likely to become
pregnant prior to marriage and
are less likely to enter into or stay
in an abusive relationship than
those without fathers in the home.
Remember Frenchy’s line from the
musical “Grease” – “The only man a
girl can depend on is her daddy!”
Children who grow up in homes
with fathers are more likely to do
well academically. They are twice as
likely to go to college. They’re also
four times less likely to be poor.
That follows through to adulthood.
As adults, they are more likely to be
better educated and make a bet-
ter living than people who grow up
without fathers in the home.
In this age of man bashing and
anti-male sentiment, it’s important
to recognize and reward fathers for
taking an active role in the raising
of their children. You are creating
a better future for all of us. Thank
you, Dad. Job well done.
________
Suzanne Kennedy is a former middle
school teacher who lives in Pend-
leton with her husband and four
children.
