December 2018 - EASTERN OREGON PARENT - 7
Raising twins: Double the trouble, double the fun
By SUZANNE KENNEDY
Did you know that there
are seven different types of
twins? The most common,
or course, are fraternal and
identical. Fraternal twins are
the result of two eggs being
fertilized by two different
sperm, while identical twins
begin from the same fertil-
ized egg, which splits. Those
less common include mir-
ror image twins who match
when they are facing each
other. The egg splits a little
later (about 9-12 days in).
One might be left-handed while the
other is right-handed, or their hair
might naturally part on the opposite
side, etc.
The likelihood of having twins is
about 3 in every 100 births, accord-
ing to the Society for Reproductive
Medicine. Triplets and quadruplets
are a bit more rare at 1 per 800,
and the chance of having identi-
cal twins is 1 in about 1000. With
the exception of the occurrence of
identical twins, which has remained
very constant, there’s been a pretty
big increase in twins and other mul-
tiples as a result of fertility drugs
and the trend of waiting longer to
have children.
What’s so great about having
twins? Every parent I interviewed
answered first with “a built-in play-
mate.” Your children have a friend
for life. While they might fight like
cats and dogs, and argue until they
are blue in the face, most twins are
great friends and are each other’s
staunchest supporters. Some
moms, thankful that their twins
are into the same sports, appreci-
ate the lack of a second commute.
They tend to go through stages
at the same time, like potty train-
ing and puberty. It’s exponentially
more difficult (imagine two or even
three teenage girls in a bathroom),
but at least the rough parts are
over a bit more quickly.
Financially, having multiples can
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be a struggle. With
the exception of the
hospital stay (that’s
a definite two for
one deal) the rest is
double the money.
Two cribs, two bikes,
and clothes and toys
for two adds up.
Most daunting might
be the idea of having
them in college at the
same time. The ma-
jority of the multiples
moms that I spoke to
had to buy a new car
when their babies were born. It’s
tough to fit two car seats in a back-
seat, and that is compounded when
you have other kids as well.
Parents of multiples differ in
how they treat their children as
well. Some choose to treat them
alike and some are adamant about
treating them as unique individu-
als. Regardless, parents will likely go
with whatever is easiest on them
and what works best for the fam-
ily. What mother wants to throw
two back-to-back toddler birthday
parties? Surprisingly, most par-
ents I know weren’t very worried
about the friend situation. They all
seemed to be fine with their chil-
dren having the same or separate
groups of friends, although it’s ap-
parently more common to have the
same.
Common advice for parents of
multiples:
• Buy maternity clothes as soon
as you are pregnant, because
chances are you will be wearing
them as soon as you are preg-
nant.
• Buy two of everything in the
same color. You cannot win an
Parenting
Tip
argument over the fact that
color doesn’t matter when they
both want the same green toy.
• Get over the guilt of not be-
ing able to meet the children’s
needs at the same time. Yes,
one may have to wait, but that is
offset with the knowledge that
being a twin is something so su-
per special that one mom even
described it like this: “The twin
dynamic is so palpable that it’s
like having another child.”
Advice for people who are not
parents of multiples:
• Do not ask the parent of twins
how they were conceived. This is
bad form.
• Be patient. Twin parents are on
constant high alert, and, as such,
are more tired than we could
ever imagine.
• Do not tell them that you know
exactly how they feel because
you have kids who are very close
in age.
• Do tell them they are amazing
and are doing a great job. In fact,
please say this to any parent you
know, regardless of whether or
not they have twins.
Twins or triplets, identical or
fraternal (or even mirror), it gets
easier as they get older. Hang in
there!
________
Suzanne Kennedy is a former middle
school teacher who lives in Pend-
leton with her husband and four
children.