4 - EASTERN OREGON PARENT - December 2018
Connecting with your child takes time commitment
By SAMANTHA CRIST
Some days go by in a blur and
you struggle to remember what
you did with all of your time.
Adults can become stressed and
overwhelmed by responsibilities
throughout the day and for-
get that the smallest people
in their families often need
the most attention. But
what can we do to connect
with our children and why is
this so important anyway?
Connections with other
people build neural con-
nections within children’s
brains. We can connect with
our children, and others in
our lives, by taking time to
be present in a situation,
to create social bonding
moments and the sharing of
love.
Imagine you’re in the
shoes of your toddler, tak-
ing in the world around you.
Everything is bigger than
you, louder than you, and
scary. Who are you going
to look for to feel safe and
help you regulate your emotions?
You are going to seek safety from
the adults in your life and rely on
them to help you understand the
world around you.
Adults create this sense of
safety and understanding through
caring connections with children,
leading to stronger relationships.
Adults who foster these connec-
tions enable children to develop
into self-confident individuals who
are able to create relationships of
their own and understand the im-
portance of self-regulation. They
will also create a relationship with
their children that is more coop-
erative and full of energy.
Knowing why connections are
important is the first step in sup-
porting children, but knowing how
to connect even more important.
Think about a time when you felt
connected to someone. What did
connecting moments with your
child is through fun games or
activities that can take less than
five minutes. Make yourself and
your loved ones a commitment;
take time out of each day to truly
it look like? Were you looking at
that person? Did you have some
kind of physical touch that fu-
eled the connection? Where you
present in the moment and being
playful?
A true connecting experience
with another person will have
these factors built in and creates
a bond with that person. Each of
these experiences tells your brain
that you are safe and loved by
the other person. This is the exact
thing that children are seeking as
they experience the world around
them and it’s crucial to positive
growth and development.
Some great ways to create
connect. Play pat-a-cake or peek-
a-boo with your young child, check
in with your older children by
playing a game — make cards with
questions on them to find out how
their day went or what is happen-
ing in their lives. Be present for
your significant other as they dis-
cuss their struggles or successes.
Connect as a family by doing an I
Love You Ritual, interactions and
games that you can play with your
children to connect, created by Dr.
Becky Bailey founder of the self-
regulation program of Conscious
Discipline®.
Taking this time out of your day
will cement the bond that holds
Strategies
your relationships together, it will
create a sense of safety
in the relationships that
are built, and most impor-
tantly, it will allow your
children to have the ability
to connect with others as
they grow.
We understand why
connections are important,
what connections can look
like, and I have given you
examples of how to con-
nect with people. But I
am not going to tell any-
one that connecting with
children, or others in your
life, is always easy. It can be
hard at times or it can be
easy, but no matter what, it
will have a positive impact
on both you and the per-
son you are connecting
with and will be worth it!
Put in the effort even
if you have a busy life or feel like
you are barely making it. It will not
only build the relationship with
your children, but it will make you
feel better. We all can use a little
extra playfulness and joy in our
lives. Wishing you well!
________
Samantha Crist is an Education
Coordinator for Eastern Oregon
Head Start, a partner with the
Blue Mountain Early Learning Hub,
which works to bridge early child-
hood resources and prepare chil-
dren for kindergarten. For more
information visit www.bluemoun-
tainearlylearninghub.org.