June 2018 - EASTERN OREGON PARENT - 5
Father’s Day feature: He’s not Mr. Mom – just Dad
By SUZANNE KENNEDY
When Larry Hasty
was a kid, he certainly
never dreamed of being
a stay-at-home dad, but
today he’s perfectly happy
taking care of the house
and being the main care
provider for his five-year-
old daughter, Mackenzie.
After previously working
in the banking and finance
world, he now spends his
days making lunches and
overseeing homeschool-
ing.
Larry and his wife,
Sashka, moved to East-
ern Oregon for graduate
school at EOU. They were
both attending the univer-
sity as undergrads when
she became pregnant with
their first baby. Larry’s
plan had been to enter a
graduate program right
away, and they took care
of Mackenzie as a team,
since they had no family in the area
to help out. But soon his wife was
offered a job at Interpath Labora-
tory in Pendleton, which included
payment for graduate school. So,
together they decided that rather
than putting Mackenzie in day care,
he would just stay home with her.
After meeting Larry it’s pretty
clear that his masculinity was never
in question after his decision – it’s
not something that really con-
cerned him. Yes, he’s been given
some ribbing about how nice it
must be to be able to hang out
all day and not have to answer to
a boss, but he uses those oppor-
tunities to share with other men
what being at home is really like.
He’s certainly not embarrassed by
it; there was never a doubt that
he couldn’t provide for his family.
While he was working, he made
a very comfortable living, so the
decision wasn’t a financial one. He
remains very supportive and proud
of his wife. When the opportu-
nity came up for Sashka to further
her career, he readily agreed. He
looked at staying home and teach-
ing Mackenzie as a challenge, one
he was certainly up for. For now, it’s
working just fine.
Larry spends his days like any
other stay-at-home parent. He
cooks, cleans, does the laundry, and
takes care of his child. One might
assume his life is just like most
women who stay at home – but
there is one difference that isn’t im-
mediately obvious.
You see, moms network. We’re
there for each other. We recognize
that we need other moms in our
lives. We meet up throughout the
day for outings, playdates, and
coffee get-togethers. Conversa-
tions range anywhere from the pros
and cons of binkies and nursing, to
potty training, family drama, and
puberty. Not all of those conversa-
tions are appropriate for mixed
company and might make Larry and
other men uncomfortable. Out of
respect for his wife and his mar-
riage, he doesn’t go over to other
people’s houses for playdates, in-
stead meeting at the Children’s Mu-
seum or parks so that his daughter
can play with other kids. Still, there
are times when the
conversation drifts and
he admits the chit-chat
doesn’t always hold his
attention.
As a stay-at-home
dad, Larry is in good
company. According to a
2014 study, the percent-
age of stay-at-home par-
ents in Oregon is about
21 percent. That’s a
pretty significant change
from a study in the early
1970s in which only six
men in the entire coun-
try admitted to staying
home.
Larry says that the
best thing about staying
home, besides spending
time with his daughter,
is that his stress level
has been significantly
reduced. He still stress-
es, as do all parents,
that he’s doing the right
thing by Mackenzie, but
it’s different than 9-to-5 job stress.
The toughest thing is missing adult
conversation and the lack of other
dads in the same situation to talk
with.
Are you a stay-at-home dad or
do you know someone who is?
Have them check out the National
At-Home Dad Network online
(athomedad.org) or the more casu-
al site, daddymindtricks.com. And
feel free to shoot Larry an email at
hastyl@eou.edu. Dads need bud-
dies, too.
________
Suzanne Kennedy is a former
middle school teacher who lives in
Pendleton with her husband and
four children.