April 2018 - EASTERN OREGON PARENT - 13
A child’s independence should be nurtured early on
W
e are raising adults, not
children. Our job as par-
ents (and parent support
systems) is to guide our children
to complete independence. Little
by little, day by day, we help our
children develop skills and take on
more responsibility until they can
run at full speed on their own two
feet.
Unfortunately, it is often easier
for us to do skill-building jobs
ourselves or hire someone to do
it, than to teach our children these
skills. If we don’t teach skills how
can we expect our children to act
with responsibility, or “respond
with ability” when opportunity
knocks?
When we allow our children to
be babied too long, we help create
adults without clear direction and
who have a failure to take on the
challenges of adulthood. We even
have a popular phrase for this phe-
nomenon, failure to launch.
A three-year old is able
to do a multitude of
tasks independently
when given the tools
and environment
to do so. Three-
year-olds should be
able to dress them-
selves, get them-
selves a drink, fix a
simple snack, wash
hands and face, brush
teeth, and more.
In order to dress themselves
children require several consider-
ations. Clothes should be easy to
put on and off, for example, T-shirts
and pants with no zippers or but-
HEATHER A. BACON, PH.D. &
JENNIFER K. COOPER, PSY.D
Licensed Clinical Psychologists
tons. Shoes with Velcro fasteners
are helpful for self-dressing, though
for five-year-olds shoelaces to learn
to tie are important. Tags in back
of clothing can help avoid
backwards dressing. Sets
of clothes grouped
together help choos-
ing an outfit easier.
Low shelves or hang-
ing rods help a child
get clothes without
adult help. Of course,
a hamper or basket
helps establish a habit
of putting dirty clothes
away and not on the floor.
Children can pour themselves a
drink of water if glasses are placed
in a low cabinet and a small pitcher
of water is available on a tray
placed on a low table. A child-sized
table in your kitchen with a pitcher
of water available along with a les-
son or two on how to pour will be
of great help to your child.
Preparing a snack or sandwich
are other activities that children
can do in their quest for indepen-
dence. Small jars of crackers on low
shelves can help your child prepare
his or her snack and eat it at the
child-sized table in your kitchen.
Peanut butter in small jars (think
pimento jars) and a small canapé
Maren
Schmidt
_______________
Kids Talk™
knife can help your child make pea-
nut butter crackers or a sandwich.
Place a slice of bread in a sandwich
bag or plastic sandwich container
for easy availability.
A step stool in the bathroom or
kitchen can help your child wash
hands and face, as well as brush
teeth independently. Washcloths
work as child-sized hand towels,
and a basket full of washcloths by
the sink can make hand washing
inviting.
Be an adult raising an adult. Help
your child attain independence by
providing tools and an environment
that promote independence.
________
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning
column dealing with childhood de-
velopment issues written by Maren
Stark Schmidt, M.Ed. She has more
than 25 years experience working
with young children and is the au-
thor of Understanding Montessori:
A Guide for Parents. Contact her via
e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.
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