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Ten simple ways to improve your child’s listening skills
By JAN PIERCE
Focused listening is one of the
most important skills your child will
ever learn. Children with strong
listening skills do be er in school,
sports, rela onships and eventually
in their careers. But many children
lack this important skill
and parents are rightly
concerned. What can you
do?
First, listening is much
more than just hearing.
It is a given that you will
have your child’s hear-
ing checked by medical
professionals and follow
up with any problems
discovered. Occasion-
ally a wax build-up, ear
infec on, fl uid behind the
eardrum or other rela-
vely minor ear problems
must be addressed. If
your child does have a hearing loss,
be very sure to do all you can to
maximize his or her hearing.
But listening problems are a dif-
ferent issue. “Listening is the con-
scious process of receiving meaning
from the sounds we hear,” says
special educa on examiner Dr. Kari
Miller. “It implies the ability to stay
focused on the message, screen out
distrac ons and make a meaningful
connec on with the content of the
message. Good listening requires
prac ce because it requires eff ort
to do it well.”
You can see that good listening
requires not only the ears, but en-
gagement of the mind and body as
well. It is a series of decisions made
by the listener and it can break
down quite easily. Even children
who want to “pay a en on” and
“follow direc ons” may be unable
to if their a en on is pulled away
by background noise, movement,
or other compe ng thoughts and
sounds. Children need prac ce in
focusing their a en on, receiving
the message, understanding the
message and then responding in
the appropriate way.
Parents, you can help your child
be a be er listener. Here are ten
simple ways to build ac ve listening
skills:
Meal mes are o en good mes
to engage in conversa on.
3. Read to your child every day. A
10 to 15 minute read aloud ses-
sion is one of the most power-
ful strategies you have to build
listening skills. Select books she
enjoys and stop of-
ten to predict what
will happen next or
to ask her opinion
about the ac on in
the story.
4.
Build her
inner language by
having her repeat
back what you’ve
said to her. Or
ask her to explain
what she is doing
or what she plans
to do. This will
help her to focus
on the steps in the process and
will help her with listening to
receive informa on and follow
steps sequen ally.
1. Model ac ve listening. Build
listening mo va on and suc-
cess by inten onally gaining
your child’s a en on before
expec ng him to listen. When-
ever possible, make eye con-
tact before speaking. When he
responds, maintain eye contact
and repeat the content of the
message or model good listen-
ing by using appropriate body
language such as nodding.
5. Do the peanut bu er and jelly
sandwich game. Ask her to
write down the direc ons for
making a pbj and then you mod-
el following those direc ons
exactly. Chances are there will
be some gaps in the direc ons,
which make for a funny and a
bit messy ac vity. The point will
be made: listening and following
direc ons is an exact skill if you
want a good end product.
2. Encourage conversa ons on
topics of her choice. Model
good listening and show your
apprecia on for her ideas. It is
surprising how li le conversa-
on takes place in our daily lives
with today’s busy schedules.
6. Play the “add one more” game.
Give one direc on such as
“Touch your nose.” Then add a
second direc on and ask her to
do both in sequence. She will
need to remember to touch
her nose and then go on to the
Parenting
Tip
second command. Keep adding
direc ons and see how many
she can remember in sequence.
Children love this game.
7. Cook together. Find a simple
recipe and enjoy me in the
kitchen together. Reading the
direc ons aloud and then fol-
lowing them carefully is great
prac ce in building ac ve listen-
ing skills.
8. Take a Listening Walk. Go for
a nature walk with the express
inten on of no cing sounds.
Shhh. What do you hear?
Where is the sound coming
from? What is making that
sound? You might even keep
a listening log and record the
things you hear.
9. Play sound pa ern games. Tap
on a drum or clap hands in a
variety of diff erent rhythmic
pa erns and have your child
repeat the sounds. You can play
the same game by coun ng and
clapping the syllables in words.
10. Play the old standby, Simon
Says. This game is not only fun
for children; it also builds great
listening skills. They do not
respond unless the leader says,
“Simon says.”
________
Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a reƟ red teach-
er and freelance writer based in
Vancouver, WA. She is the author of
“Homegrown Readers: Simple Ways
to Help Your Child Learn to Read.”
Find her at www.janpierce.net.