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Little known kids’ secret: Children love the quiet
S
omehow between Madison
Avenue and Hollywood, and
all the places where kiddie
culture is fed, we’re given the view
that children are rowdy and eter-
nally needing to be entertained.
Picture a scene of children
ge ng out from school. What do
you imagine? More than likely it’s
children shou ng and running from
the school building.
Though the movies would have
us believe otherwise, children actu-
ally love quiet.
The portrayal of children in our
popular culture tends to overem-
phasize hyperac vity and hyper-
noise. Children require movement
and appropriate, yet crea ve,
methods to express themselves,
which unfortunately, are not
readily given. If we, as adults,
had to do what some children must
everyday, we’d be portrayed as run-
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Licensed Clinical Psychologists
Helping parents discover new ways to shape
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ning out of buildings screaming at
the top of our lungs.
Our world is a noisy place and
most of us haven’t learned how to
move so ly through space. Years
ago a er a func on in our church
fellowship hall, the volunteer clean
up crew began to drag chairs and
tables across the room in order to
place them in storage racks. The
rumble deafened. Screeching metal
legs against the linoleum made
chalkboards and fi ngernails seem
melodic.
My daughters covered their ears,
wondering out loud, “Why don’t
they carry the chairs quietly?”
“Because, “ I said, “I
don’t think anybody’s
shown them how.”
My daughters
looked at each oth-
er quizzically. As if
on cue they each picked up an end
of a table and carried it across the
room. As they moved across the
fl oor, the noisy volunteers stopped
to see youngsters carrying a six-foot
table, quietly. Very quietly indeed.
Our children love quiet, but as
the church volunteers demonstrat-
ed, we neglect to show them how
to move quietly, how to appreciate
the quiet, and how to listen.
Children enjoy a listening game
where everyone gets quiet for
about two minutes, which is a very
long me for three and four-year-
olds, and for some 34-year-olds,
too. I’d set an hourglass type egg
mer in the middle of our group to
give the children a focal point and
concept of how much longer they
should sit and listen. In the quiet
the children heard each other sigh,
squirm, and change posi ons. In
short the children became aware
of how a simple movement dis-
Maren
Schmidt
_______________
Kids Talk™
rupts the mood of the group. At
the end of the two-minute period I
would go around the group and ask
each child what they heard as they
listened.
Without excep on, the children
were amazed what they could
hear. Birds outside even though
all the doors and windows were
shut. Cars at the stop sign a block
away. A fi re truck leaving the sta-
on a mile away. The rumble of a
train. The neighbor’s tractor or leaf
blower. The refrigerator. The heat
clicking on. The air going through
their noses. The clock cking in the
adjoining room. The faucet dripping
in the bathroom. In the quiet the
children listened.
A er this fi ve to ten minute
listening exercise the children
appeared more confi dent and
controlled in their ac ons, le the
group lesson with a tranquil smile,
and worked rest of the morning
with deeper concentra on than
before the lesson.
Children love quiet. All they need
is to learn how to listen and to be
heard. Just like the rest of us.
________
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning
column dealing with childhood de-
velopment issues wri en by Maren
Stark Schmidt, M.Ed. She has more
than 25 years experience working
with young children and is the au-
thor of Understanding Montessori:
A Guide for Parents. Contact her via
e-mail at maren@kidstalknews.