Page 6A
TV TIME
East Oregonian
Friday, June 16, 2017
PARENTS TALK BACK
BRIEFLY
Giving boys what
they need from
an absent father
About 4,000 more
U.S. troops to go
to Afghanistan
WASHINGTON
(AP) — The Pentagon
will send almost 4,000
additional American forces
to Afghanistan, a Trump
administration official said
Thursday, hoping to break
a stalemate in a war that
has now passed to a third
U.S. commander in chief.
The deployment will be
the largest of American
manpower under Donald
Trump’s young presidency.
The decision by Defense
Secretary Jim Mattis could
be announced as early as
next week, the official said.
It follows Trump’s move to
give Mattis the authority to
set troop levels and seeks
to address assertions by
the top U.S. commander in
Afghanistan that he doesn’t
have enough forces to
help Afghanistan’s army
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WYOMING, Ohio (AP)
— An American college
student who emerged from
prison in North Korea in
a coma has severe brain
damage, but doctors don’t
know what caused it, a
medical team treating him
in Ohio said Thursday.
The doctors described
Kids
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Instant Jam
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< ++ Sex and the City 2 (‘10, Com) Cynthia Nixon, Sarah Jessica Parker. Catastr.
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Doctors say U.S.
student freed by
North Korea has
brain damage
Otto Warmbier as being in
a state of “unresponsive
wakefulness” but declined
to discuss his outlook for
improvement, saying such
information would be kept
confidential.
“He has spontaneous
eye opening and blinking,”
said Dr. Daniel Kanter,
director of neurocritical
care for the University of
Cincinnati Health system.
“However, he shows no
signs of understanding
language, responding
to verbal commands
or awareness of his
surroundings. He has not
spoken.”
Warmbier, 22, is in
stable condition at the UC
Medical Center, where he
was taken after his arrival
in Ohio late Tuesday after
more than 17 months in
North Korean captivity.
The reclusive country
accused the University of
Virginia student of anti-
state activities.
EVENING
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The camp will teach all baseball fundamentals and competitive games
6:30
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A&E
AM
and George W. Bush. In
2009, Obama authorized
a surge of 30,000 troops
into Afghanistan, bringing
the total there to more than
100,000, before drawing
down over the rest of his
presidency.
Trump has barely
spoken about Afghanistan
as a candidate or president,
concentrating instead on
crushing the Islamic State
group in Syria and Iraq.
AFTERNOON
PBS
layton Lessor,
years. The groups
56, talks
meet for 90 minutes
openly about
once a week in
his terrible childhood.
Lessor’s St. Louis-
He describes
area office. He tells
his late father as an
the boys, between the
alcoholic who was
ages of 11 to 19, the
very abusive at home.
things he wished he’d
He grew up with
known at their ages.
Aisha
broken bones, black
Sultan The session topics
eyes and chronic
include identifying
Parents Talk Back
abuse. He remembers
their own pain, facing
the nights he slept in
it and learning how
to cope with it in healthy
the backseat of a car.
ways. He wants to give them
He lived with his
a place to deal with shame
grandparents six months out
and anger, feel supported by
of each year from when he
a community and find a sense
was 4 years old until he was
16. One week from his senior of achievement through their
deeds.
year of high school stands
He was 31 years old
out as particularly awful: His
before he went into therapy,
mother burned down their
house, his dog died in the fire and says most men who
suffered in their childhoods
and his girlfriend dumped
will end up self-medicating
him.
or running from the past to
“I don’t remember
avoid dealing with how it
being in school the last two
impacts their present lives.
months,” he said. Still, he
“The wound doesn’t heal
managed to graduate and
itself,” he said. “It doesn’t
eventually joined the Air
just go away with time.”
Force, a decision he credits
He recalls the final straw
with saving his life. During
with his own father. He had
his 24 years of military
come home from the Air
service, Lessor got married
Force to get married when he
and divorced twice. He
was 20 years old, and went to
decided to get a degree in
visit him.
psychology, hoping to figure
“He tried to kill me. He
out why he kept picking the
choked me. He was drunk,”
wrong people to marry.
Lessor said. “That was it.
“I needed to look at
I was done.” He spent a
myself,” Lessor said.
long time working through
What he discovered was
his own grief, and says it’s
a significant amount of
possible to come through
pain from his troubled and
the other side stronger than
estranged relationship with
before.
his father.
“It’s scary and painful,”
“I missed out on a lot
Lessor said, but “you come
of developmental stuff,”
out better if you finish the
he said. Lessor worked on
work.”
“re-parenting” himself and
For him, it also brought a
learning the lessons he never
sense of acceptance.
got from his father. From
“My childhood was
this work, he decided he
suffering,” he said. And yet,
wanted to help other boys in
similar situations. He created he’s forgiven his parents.
The emotion that comes up
a 10-week “rite of passage”
occasionally from the past
therapy group for boys who
traumas is just sadness.
missed out on growing up
“I don’t have any anger
with a healthy father figure.
or hate,” he said. “It comes
He also self-published
up once in awhile — what
a book for mothers of
comes up is just sadness, and
adolescent boys, “Saving
then I move on.”
Our Sons: A Parent’s Guide
More importantly, he
to Preparing Boys for
has found meaning and
Success,” which serves as a
purpose through those life
guidebook for his 10-week
Quest therapy program. In it, experiences.
“It wasn’t the childhood
he lays out a path for healing
I would have chosen,” he
those suffering from what he
said. “(But) my mom and dad
calls “father wounds.”
were a gift to me.”
What exactly is a father
It was those dysfunctional
wound? It could be the pain
relationships that led him
from having a physically or
to do the work that is so
emotionally absent father,
meaningful to him today.
an abusive father, or one
■
who just doesn’t know
Aisha Sultan is a St. Louis-
how to raise a son, Lessor
based journalist who studies
said. It could even be a lost
parenting in the digital age
connection over time.
while trying to keep up with
More than 2,000 boys
her tech-savvy children. Find
have gone through the Quest
her on Twitter: @AishaS.
program over the past 17
against a resurgent Taliban
insurgency. The rising threat
posed by Islamic State
extremists, evidenced in a
rash of deadly attacks in
the capital city of Kabul,
has only fueled calls for
a stronger U.S. presence,
as have several recent
American combat deaths.
The bulk of the additional
troops will train and advise
Afghan forces, according to
the administration official,
who wasn’t authorized
to discuss details of the
decision publicly and spoke
on condition of anonymity.
A smaller number would
be assigned to counterterror
operations against the
Taliban and IS, the official
said.
Trump has inherited
America’s longest conflict
with no clear endpoint
or a defined strategy for
American success, though
U.S. troop levels are far
lower than they were under
Presidents Barack Obama
11
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3
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