VIEWPOINTS
Saturday, May 6, 2017
East Oregonian
Page 5A
Spring returns to the diamond
M
y wife and I have had a now
nearly three-decade-long friendly
difference of opinion regarding
what time of year is our personal favorite.
She is a fan of the fall. She particularly likes
the leaves brilliantly changing color and
falling unceremoniously back to Earth to
their final resting place.
She also welcomes the coming of the
holidays and especially Thanksgiving,
when she demonstrates her hospitality and
superior culinary skills to friends and family.
She tells me every year that when the days
grow shorter and the nights colder, she
looks forward to the
shift in activity which
means more time in the
comfortable environs
of home and the
opportunity to do more
reading (and less yard
work).
As I may have stated
previously, I am a fan of
spring. I look forward
to warmer temperatures
and, in particular, longer
days. More daylight
means longer hours of productive effort at
work (though I’m perpetually two or three
jobs behind). I revel in the rapid changes in
vegetation, the reappearance of robins and
meadowlarks, the first appearance of deer
fawns and the beginning of my real favorite
season — baseball.
When I was a kid growing up in Echo, I
was influenced by many people who fostered
and encouraged my interest in our national
pastime. I had an aunt who frequently
contributed to my (now extensive) library of
baseball books. Roger Kahn’s great narrative
of the post-war Brooklyn Dodgers, “The
Boys of Summer,” introduced me to Roy
Campanella, Gill Hodges, Jackie Robinson,
Duke Snyder and all the rest. My next-door
neighbor’s phone number is one of the
easiest I’ve ever had to memorize because
it combines the only year the Brooklyn
Dodgers won the World Series (1955) with
the year of my birth, 1969 (the year of “one
small step for a man …” and the Miracle
Mets).
My first Little League coach showed me
just how much plain fun baseball could be
and, perhaps without him even knowing it,
I have emulated his habit of driving tractor
and listening to baseball
on the radio for 30
years. I also followed
his example in coaching
Little League for many
years but could never
equal his talent for
shouting instructions to
rambunctious kids while
still chewing on a cigar
stub.
My brother and I
constructed and sort of
maintained a ballpark
in my dad’s pasture. We used pallets that
were fastened together with baling twine and
haywire for an outfield fence and employed
a Bull Durham tobacco ad-painted barn as
our pseudo-grandstand in center field. We
never had to worry about repeating Mickey
Mantle’s mishap with a hidden sprinkler but,
because it was a barnyard, there were many
obstacles of an “organic” nature left by the
full-time bovine inhabitants.
Over the years, I have had the good
fortune to experience several lifetimes’ worth
of baseball-related memories. In 1993, Cindy
and I traveled to Chicago to watch the Cubs
I have emulated
the habit of
driving tractor
and listening to
baseball on the
radio for 30 years.
and Cardinals play at Wrigley Field in Ozzie
Smith’s last couple weeks as one of the
greatest shortstops of all time. On the way to
Chicago, we stopped in Dyersville, Iowa, to
visit the National Farm Toy Museum and, by
the way, took batting practice on THE Field
of Dreams with a nice guy named Steve
from Michigan.
A couple of years later, we went to Seattle
to watch the Mariners play the Dodgers.
After the game, I spied Vin Scully walking
away from the ballpark and luckily, was
able to bail out the side door of my friends’
van in time to have him autograph the only
available scrap of paper we possessed—a
grocery list. It now reads “milk, cheese,
crackers … Vin Scully.”
In 1999, a friend and I made perhaps the
baseball trip of our lifetime. My landlady at
the time lived in Weston, Massachusetts, and
was a fellow baseball aficionado and lifelong
Red Sox fan.
She procured two tickets to the All-Star
Game at Fenway Park and allowed Mike
and I to use her car and bunk in her spare
room. I still can’t believe that we actually
saw the All-Century Team (Hank Aaron,
Willie Mays, Warren Spahn, Sandy Koufax,
etc.) and witnessed Ted Williams throw out
the first pitch and cheered as Pedro Martinez
made the National League’s best hitters
look like overpowered kids (remember
Carl Hubbell in the 1934 All-Star Game?),
all in the same day. I will never forget the
tremendous ovation for the Long Island
potato farmer’s son, Carl Yastrzemski. Has
anyone ever been as good at anything for
two weeks as he was at the end of the 1967
Impossible Dream season?
I always look forward to the baseball
season beginning and enjoy reminiscing with
my similarly addicted friends about Ron
M att W ood
FROM THE TRACTOR
Santo, Ken Hubbs, and the recently ended
108-year drought of the Cubs. Those who
know me best and have seen my challenges
with punctuality and scheduling are well
aware of another aspect that attracts me to
the game — the absence of a clock. As Yogi
Berra liked to say—“It ain’t over ‘til it’s
over,” and according to George Carlin, we
might even have extra innings.
■
Matt Wood is his son’s hired man and his
daughter’s biggest fan. He lives on a farm
near Helix, where he collects antiques and
friends.
The fun and absurdity The West’s iconic trains head for the sunset
of growing old
I
W
hen you go
to decide on the best
shopping a
one to wear to town
good rule
I started putting on
is to beat the traffic
a vest before I took
by always parking
the other one off.
your car away from
How damn silly and
the others in a safer
laughable.
space. Because up
So, believing I
closer to the front
was
on to something
Tom
door, other drivers
valuable
about
Hebert
are backing out
living
a
good
life,
Comment
about to crunch into
I merrily Googled
you and shopping
away and within
carts are left everywhere.
a nanosecond: “Top 25
So, the other day at Walmart Quotes About Laughing
I carefully scanned the
At Yourself.” Yes! I’m not
parking situation and then
alone anymore. Other people
pulled into a space maybe
are doing the same thing. I
75 feet from the nearest car.
bet it’s a part of real sanity.
When I got out, my wheels
Listen to Elizabeth
were astride the yellow
Taylor: “If you can’t laugh
lines. Huh? How silly was
at yourself, you’re cooked!”
that? So, right then and there
On the other side of
I started laughing at myself.
life was Martin Niemoller,
The next day I needed to
the German anti-Nazi
tighten a bolt on the bed of
theologian and Lutheran
my pickup. So, into the tool
pastor: “If you can laugh at
shed to pick up my good
yourself, you are going to be
old channel-lock pliers and
fine. If you allow others to
head back to the truck. But
laugh with you, you will be
on the way I dropped them
great.”
in a mud puddle. Darn. As
Or this from Jill
I picked them up, I said,
Abramson, the former
“Sorry guys.”
executive editor of The
Huh? Did I just apologize New York Times: “A general
to my pliers? Right then and truth is to have a good sense
there, between rain showers, of humor. Roll with the
I had another good laugh.
punches of life’s ups and
Somehow, it felt good.
downs. Laughing at yourself
You see, I’m a loyal
always helps.”
critter. If someone or
Groucho Marx: “If you
something serves me well
find it hard to laugh at
and without complaint, we
yourself, I would be happy
are friends. And friends
to do it for you.”
laugh together.
Actor Alan Alda: “Laugh
But the funniest laugh
at yourself, but don’t doubt
happened while I was
yourself.”
drafting this column.
The gossip columnist, TV
You see, I was preparing
star, and above all a giver of
to have dinner with my BFF great parties, Elsa Maxwell:
(Best Friend Forever), Marie “Laugh at yourself first,
Callender. So, I tucked her
before anyone else can.”
into the microwave for four
Ivanta Yanzanst,
minutes and watched the
inspirational speaker,
rain fall. When the ping
lawyer, author, and
sounded, I took her out
television personality:
and gave her a taste. Oops.
“Transformation doesn’t
Not enough time. Darn. So
have to be deep, dark and
back in she goes for another mysterious. If you screw up,
minute.
fine — laugh at yourself,
But Marie and the bowl
learn and move on.”
were so hot at the ping
Nirmala Srivastava was
the founder of Sahaja Yoga,
that when I lifted her out I
a meditation technique: “If
spilled some flat pasta on
you know how to laugh at
the floor. Which couldn’t
yourself then you will not
go to waste, so I squatted
object or will not stand in
down to pick it up and ate
the way of any creativity of
it (no 5-second rule in this
another person.”
house). But just then my
The comedian Joan
Spotify music streaming
service started playing Frank Rivers: “When you can
laugh at yourself no one can
Sinatra’s old standard, “I’ll
ever make a fool of you.”
Do It My Way!” It was way
Benjamin Franklin: “If
too much. I’m still laughing
you would not be laughed
at myself while I type.
Anyway, I started
at, be the first to laugh at
keeping a list of ridiculous
yourself.”
and laughable mistakes,
And so, you will grow
mishaps, lapses in judgment older with a smile on your
with a total of ten times in a
face.
couple days.
Your heart and arteries
So, given that I’m both
will be thankful — also your
persnickety with faults you
family and friends. Even
could throw a cat through,
your old dog or horse.
the list grew rapidly: Trying
■
to make my usual perfect
Tom Hebert is a writer
PB&J sandwich and spilling and public policy consultant
the jelly on my big toe.
living on the Umatilla
Then while trying on vests
Indian Reservation.
f you see a train, better
passenger service after all
get on it. The California
these years. But that loss
Zephyr, the Coast Starlight,
would also be true of small
the Empire Builder, the Texas
towns whose names not
Eagle and my favorite, the
everyone recognizes. Places
Southwest Chief, may soon
like Raton, New Mexico;
be heading West for one last
Libby, Montana; Lamy,
ride. Back in my railroad
New Mexico; Trinidad,
days, when a brakeman died,
Forrest Colorado; Cleburne, Texas;
someone would announce at
Whitman Ephrata, Washington; and
sign-in: “He caught the last
Winnemucca, Nevada, are
Comment
westbound.”
not likely to appear in the
Of course, it’s all
Sunday New York Times
about money. The budget
travel section. Still, they
President Donald Trump
depend on the Chief or the
submitted to Congress
Eagle, the Empire Builder,
looks like it was
the Zephyr or the Coast
written by the Heritage
Starlight.
Foundation, a group that
Many people in these
thinks the government
small towns voted for the
has no business “subsidizing”
Trump campaign, believing Trump’s
anything, except for the military.
promise that a trillion dollars would
Amtrak may cover 94 percent of its
be poured into infrastructure. Now,
budget almost entirely from ticket
those trillion dollars have evaporated.
sales, but still, that’s not enough for
It was money from what was
those purists.
called a “TIGER grant” that helped
What a loss to the West these
save the Southwest Chief. All the
iconic trains will be. They are not
small towns along its way chipped
only part of our Western history, but
in hard-earned cash to keep that train
they are also symbols that somebody
going. The grant was matched by
still cares about the rural West. Trains funds from three states — Kansas,
say you can still get out of town even Colorado and New Mexico — and
when a blizzard is moving in. Trains
the Burlington Northern Santa Fe
say to the handicapped person that
railroad. There are no more TIGER
she can have mobility. Trains say to
grants in the new budget.
a senior that he doesn’t have to beg a
Some of the cuts in the
ride from family or a friend but can
transportation budget seem
get down to the station and make
particularly nonsensical. Elaine Chao,
his own way. It’s the train that stops
our new Secretary of Transportation,
downtown that says to a little Western is cutting the California high-speed
community: “You have value beyond rail initiative. That kills 9,600 good
what any Harvard Business School
jobs. Maybe California can do the
teacher would assign.”
project anyway, but the federal
It would be tragic to see the
contribution was a part of the plan.
brand-new Union Station in
What an irony that this is coming
Denver bereft of long-distance
from a “job-creating” administration.
Funding
ironies
abound.
Why vote for the fire station bond
O
n May 16,
information age.
Pendleton voters
Because of the
will be asked
physical limits of its
support a bond to build
location, just renovating
a new fire station.
the current building
Hopefully, they will ask
won’t solve its problem
themselves “What’s in it
of negotiating the traffic
for me?” before marking
at 10th and Court.
their ballots.
By choosing to
John
Rapid and effective
build a new fire
Turner
emergency response
station on the site of
Comment
is the foundation for
the old St. Anthony
public safety. Sixty
Hospital, voters will
years ago, the citizens of
give themselves faster average
Pendleton decided that the
response times to 911 calls.
antiquated and tiny fire station
The St. Anthony site will
located behind the old city hall
allow a faster response than any
no longer met the city’s basic
other location, including the
needs.
PGG building or the old movie
They stepped up and built
theater lot. Citizens won’t have
Fire Station #1 on Southwest
to wonder if the fire engines and
Court Avenue. This new facility
ambulances are trapped behind
was designed to house the
traffic jams when trying to exit
typical crews and equipment of
the station.
a 1950s-era fire station.
Voters will provide better
Six decades later, Fire Station training for their fire fighters
#1 has passed the end of its
because there is room to train
useful service life. Like its
at the new site. They will know
predecessor, it is now too small
that paramedics will have the
to house modern equipment and necessary equipment, like heart
inadequate for housing women
monitors and the Jaws of Life,
fire fighters and volunteers.
when they respond to medical
It no longer makes sense to
emergencies.
keep pouring maintenance funds
When seconds count, a yes
of about $40,000 a year into a
vote just might save a life.
facility that is not healthy for its
So please ask yourself
occupants. Its HVAC systems
“What’s in it for me?” and vote
are worn out, it has mold, the
yes for a new fire station.
roof leaks, engine fumes can’t
■
be exhausted, and its electrical
John Turner is mayor of the
systems are unsuited for the
city of Pendleton.
The economic arguments for
cutting our Western trains make no
sense. The budget cutters will spare
“money-making” Amtrak trains
on the Northeast Corridor. But of
the 31 million Amtrak riders last
year, 19 million never set foot in
the Northeast. Those people rode
our Western trains, and in addition,
these long-distance trains funnel
passengers to the Northeast. The sad
fact is that this new budget leaves
144.6 million Americans with no
train.
More funding ironies abound.
Since 1947, $600 billion has been
poured into our highways over and
above what the gas tax brings in.
($141 billion has been added since
2008.) When conservative lawmakers
fume over “subsidies” to Amtrak, they
ignore the gusher of money flowing
into highways. Of course, we do
need to support all our transportation
modes, but to single out trains as
“money losers” is silly.
I was standing on the platform in
Raton, New Mexico, when a young
couple rode up on their bikes. One of
them said, “We’ll catch that train this
summer, for sure.” I hope they can.
The Chief was rolling in so we didn’t
have time to chat, but I hope to finish
our talk in the observation car this
summer.
Losing our trains cuts the heart out
of the West. I hope we’ll call, write
letters and let Congress know what it
means to us if our Western trains are
forced to catch the last westbound.
■
Forrest Whitman is a contributor
to Writers on the Range, the opinion
service of High Country News. He
lives in Salida, Colorado, and rides a
lot of trains.
Quick takes
‘Imminent risk’ gun bill
Problem is ... who determines who is or
isn’t a threat? People beware, think about it.
— Cathy Borden Morasch
Here is another thought. What if the person
they think is in imminent danger does not
want people to take their guns away? Then
what? SWAT team?
— Chris Sykes
State considers tax changes
There is no such thing as a new sales tax
on businesses. If you don’t think prices will
go up to compensate for the lost dollars you’re
nuts.
— Debbie Straight
Sure would be nice if they cut/controlled
spending instead of spending other people’s
money and then demanding more when they
run out.
— Valerie Calley
Cinco de Mayo in Hermiston
I always looked forward to Cinco de Mayo
in school in Hermiston, always fun art and
yummy food and wonderful dances.
— Ginny Heard
Looks like I’ll be putting on my dancing
shoes!
— Bri Nichols
One of the great lessons of the Twitter age is that
much can be summed up in just a few words. Here
are some of this week’s takes. Tweet yours @Tim_
Trainor or email editor@eastoregonian.com, and
keep them to 140 characters.