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Talking after school can be the best time of day
about when you
found it diffi cult to
concentrate?
By HEATHER BACON, Ph.D.
For school-aged children,
most of their weekday is
spent at school. When asked
how their day went, most
parents receive the infamous
reply: “Fine.” This makes
it diffi cult to gauge how
they are actually doing or
what they are learning. The
problem is not in the child’s
response but in the parent’s
ques on.
An elabora ve parent-
child conversa on approach
may result in more specifi c
informa on. The Journal
of Experimental Child Psy-
chology published a study
evalua ng parent-child com-
munica on styles. This study
showed open-ended memo-
ry ques ons and descrip ve
• Who did you play
with at recess?
Why? Who did
you sit next to at
lunch? What did
you talk about?
• What is one in-
teres ng fact you
learned in science
that you think I
may not know?
• What class rules
does your teacher
say are most im-
portant?
• How do you want
to study your three
hardest spelling
words this week?
Happy
Mother’s Day
begins with a
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language predicted not only how
much informa on a child (ages 4
to 6) provided to parents about
school academic lessons, but also
reinforced the child’s memory for
school content even six days later.
In other words, detailed con-
versa ons at home may also result
in the child’s improved reten on
of informa on learned at school.
Parents do not need to know spe-
cifi c academic content to engage in
this conversa on style. The follow-
ing are examples of open-ended
memory ques ons and descrip ve
language:
• What story did your teacher
read to you today in language
arts/reading class? What story
did you read in class?
• What math problem do you fi nd
the easiest? What math problem
do you keep ge ng stuck on?
• What was your teacher talking
• Tell me something that made
you laugh today.
• What is the biggest diff erence
between your wri ng this year
(month) as compared to last
year (month)?
These ques ons can be follow-
ups with other examples, com-
ments or ques ons. It may help
your child feel connected and
proud of his or her accomplish-
ments that day and reinforce the
idea that you are interested in the
child’s learning. Playing games
(spelling word memory, 20 Ques-
ons with science facts, I Spy, etc.)
with your child is also a good way
to get informa on about their day
and have fun in the process.
________
Dr. Heather Bacon is a licensed
clinical psychologist in Hermiston,
specializing in children and families.