VIEWPOINTS
Saturday, February 11, 2017
East Oregonian
The first lesson of guitar
T
hirty-some years ago, I worked for a
woman who owned a sizable chunk
of Marin County, California. I tended
half a dozen jumping horses, two hundred
pampered sheep, one too-friendly dairy
heifer, four free-range hogs, fifty feral
chickens, a couple of random ducks and two
gangly, loud-mouthed peacocks. I slept in a
one-room hired man’s shack with a blue-
eyed cowdog. My pre-teen daughter slept in
the boss’s big brown farmhouse with nine
neutered, spayed and spoiled-rotten house
cats.
One morning at breakfast, the boss
announced that she was
going to view art in
France, that she would
place a few thousand
bucks in an account, and
the place was ours to run.
We were to help ourselves
to the stash in the freezer.
The farm pretty much
ran itself. The lambing was
over for that year. Other
than moving sheep from
one pasture to the next,
mucking the horse barn once a week and
feeding grain each morning, I had plenty of
spare time.
So my first act was drive into town and
purchase a new Yamaha acoustic guitar, an
assortment of picks and a “Mel Bay Method
for Guitar” book. The dog and I hunkered
with Mel Bay in the bunkhouse for a week,
until my fingers were blistered and I had
almost learned where to place them to play
three chords in the key of D. A month later
I was a one-song wonder, able plunk along
in the key of D as I crooned “I Ride an Old
Paint” to an audience of sheep.
In a moment of humility prompted by
boredom in the eyes of an old ewe, I decided
I needed help with my career and opened the
Yellow Pages in search of a guitar instructor.
When Tina got out of her folks’ new blue
Oldsmobile I knew I might be in over my
head. She was dressed in full concert attire,
lengthy black dress, hair in bun, cat-eye
glasses, dark stockings. She tiptoed through
the peacock manure carefully to the trunk
of the car, extracted a hand-crafted guitar
case, then carried it up the stairs into the
cat-perfumed parlor of the main house.
I paid in advance for the lesson, 20 bucks
for an hour. Tina opened her case, propped
the lid against the once-Victorian-now-
Goodwill couch, and lifted her very classy
Italian classical guitar onto
her lap, where she began
wiping down the strings
with a rose-colored cloth.
I propped the lid of my
Martin case against the
same couch and readied
my ego for the slaughter.
That first half of
the lesson was entirely
devoted to the manner in
which one properly holds
the guitar. The thumb of
the fretting hand is positioned just so against
the center of the neck, the wrist arched just
so, the fingers poised just so, each assigned
a particular string and fret. The plucking
fingers, too, each had a discrete task.
Then she asked me to demonstrate what
I knew about playing the guitar. I launched
into “I Ride an Old Paint,” glancing up
from staring at my left hand while the
cowpokes in the song were taking my pony
from his stall and tying my bones to the
saddle. I caught the same look in Tina’s eyes
I’d once seen on my mother’s face when
she discovered that the bright and neatly
wrapped package we’d found beside the road
contained chicken guts.
Murray the Dolt saved me from the
I propped
the lid of my
Martin case and
readied my ego
for the slaughter.
Quick takes
New education secretary
Betsy DeVos was confirmed Tuesday
as education secretary. Are Helix Grizzlies
now on the endangered species list?
— Frank Duff
Make-up plan for snow days
Why send out a survey at all, if there
were options on it that shouldn’t have been
offered and the final decision goes against
how the majority voted?
— Kristi Kelly
The (Pendleton School) district made a
difficult decision adding the extra days to
the end of the school year. Yes, it lessens
summer by a bit and bites into extra time
for vacation, but the children come first and
their education is of utmost importance.
They’re required a certain amount of school
hours every year and that needs to be met
regardless of opinions.
— Ashley Fowler
Winter hurting wildlife
It’s also going to kill off a lot of those
bark beetles that have been killing the forest
and a few other pest insects that won’t live
through the extended cold blasts. It’s not
all bad news. Plus more snow means fuller
lakes, more irrigation water available and
lower fire danger so more outdoor activities.
— Christopher Spencer
Travel ban overturned
This is checks and balances. It’s how our
Constitution is set up. Otherwise, the presi-
dent would be a dictator. Just be thankful the
courts will be there no matter which party
is in power. They are the best protection
against any tyranny by the majority.
— Patricia Lovejoy
So let me get this straight ... it says
clearly in the constitution that the president
has power to do exactly what he did and
presidents before him, including Obama,
have done similar travel suspensions.
— Jason Lange
We need a wall and we need to stop
letting everyone in.
— Anne Farley Dirkes
One of the great lessons of the Twitter age is
that much can be summed up in just a few words.
Here are some of this week’s takes. Tweet yours
@Tim_Trainor or email editor@eastoregonian.
com, and keep them to 140 characters.
Editor’s note: In an effort to get
more local voices and more good
writing into your newspaper, the East
Oregonian is introducing a group of
columnists that will rotate appearances
in each Saturday edition.
J. D. Smith has worked as a golf
course greens mower, hay waddie, auto
parts runner, bookstore clerk, sheet
metal fabricator, pulpwood logger,
sawmill worker, ranch hand, one-room
schoolhouse teacher, pump mechanic,
janitor, magazine editor, stage carpenter,
house carpenter, and combine operator,
among others. He won a National Book
Award in 1972 for his part in publishing
the “Whole Earth Catalog,” and several
“Best Weekly General Column” awards
from the Idaho Press Club. He currently
works as a grant writer, mostly because
he forgot to consider a retirement plan.
Have feedback on the columns?
Email opinion page editor Tim Trainor
at ttrainor@eastoregonian.com.
critique. He was a special needs house cat.
Just as Tina was relaxing her tight smile,
ready to mash my dreams into a gooey pulp,
Murray sauntered into the parlor, spun a
couple of quick brodies, put it in reverse,
parked in front of the guitar cases and
sprayed a full load of pee all over the velvet
interiors.
Tina managed an E above high C when
she screamed “Ohhhh, noooo!” Murray
shook his tail a few times, winked at her,
dodged my boot and scampered away
toward the kitchen. Tina was in shock as I
tried to soak up Murray’s indiscretion from
her guitar case with my snot rag.
She carried the guitar and case separately
back to the Olds. I wrote a check on the
Page 5A
J.D. S mith
FROM THE HEADWATERS
OF DRY CREEK
ranch portion of my fortune for $350 to
cover the cost of a new case, and we agreed
that she was probably not a suitable person
to teach me how to play the guitar. It has
taken three decades for Murray’s indiscretion
to evaporate, almost, from the guitar case.
The incident did have ancillary effects,
though. I realized that something must be
done about the cats. In this column next
month I will share my further adventures in
feline deportment as Gunther Grabbenbutt,
house cat trainer.
■
J.D. Smith is an accomplished writer and
jack-of-all-trades. He lives in Athena.
Tangling with Trump not worth the risk
T
uesday’s editorial in the East
on it since Oct. 1, remains a million
Oregonian reminded us we
dollars out of balance.
are a state that embraces,
The editorial to which I referred
celebrates and welcomes
earlier applauded state officials for
immigrants and refugee residents.
their strong stance while at the same
I couldn’t agree more. We have
time noting Oregon stands a good
for years, and I agree with that
chance of losing its federal funds
sentiment.
both now and in the future. Whether
My own father came to
we like federal funds and controls
George
Dundee, Oregon from Scotland
Murdock or not, the loss of those funds
after World War I and I am
would have a devastating impact on
Comment
grateful our family has been
Umatilla County. In the worst case
permitted to live in the greatest
scenario, as noted
country in the world.
by Rep. Boquist, we could
I also fully understand the contribution
also find ourselves left
immigrants, both documented and
off the list for highway
undocumented, make to the economy of
projects.
Umatilla County and to our respective
As a result, Oregon’s
communities. Prior to coming to Umatilla
budget shortfall could
County I was in Franklin County,
balloon well beyond its
Washington and had the privilege of leading current projected level
a school district with a 75 percent minority
as would the budget for
population. I was deeply immersed in
Umatilla County. If we
migrant issues and emerged with a strong
lose the federal funds
respect for the work ethic of those who
because of a philosophical
fuel our agricultural economy as well
standoff by our governor
as other local industrial ventures. I am
it will impact public safety, mental health,
likewise aware of the contributions workers public works, special transportation,
from foreign lands make to all kinds of
community justice, public education, public
workplaces across the state and the nation.
health, agricultural research stations, and
That being said, however, while I am
a host of other programs immediately. In
troubled by the travel ban imposed by
the long run, it could impact the roads and
the president, questions surrounding its
bridges which are vital to Eastern Oregon.
legality will ultimately be sorted out as the
And those are only programs in which the
country deals with its new-found interest
county has a stake.
in presidential executive orders and their
There are times when we need to weigh
consequences. Executive orders are his
the consequences of our actions and perhaps
prerogative as have been demonstrated
leave the decision of vulnerability to local
hundreds of times by each of his three
entities.
predecessors — led by President Clinton
The aforementioned editorial said it
and followed in order by President Bush.
is worth the risk — a risk that places in
Knowing our state leaders and their
jeopardy not just our own local safety and
values, I am not surprised by their response
our economy, but the lives of our most
to the ban and would expect them to protest. fragile citizens should the funding go away.
However it concerns me that the reaction
In addition, if we are denied the federal
might extend to moves that could place our
funds, which appear to be a secondary
federal funding in jeopardy. I don’t know if
consideration to taking this stand, what will
there is a precedent for withholding federal
we say to the hundreds of our friends and
funding from states in a case such as this,
neighbors in Umatilla County who will
but I also don’t know if it isn’t possible.
find themselves unemployed? In the same
This is a new era and times are changing.
edition of the newspaper we were reminded
Our state has a $1.8 billion shortfall.
the economy of Portland is recovering three
Umatilla County’s budget for the coming
times as fast the economy of rural areas.
year, despite the fact we have been working We can hardly afford to lose hundreds, if
not thousands of family wage jobs. If the
funds are withheld there will likely be a
complicated legal assault, but that could
take precious time being resolved.
I have worked very hard in the past few
months to acknowledge that my role as a
county commissioner should be nonpartisan
and that I should seek to consider and
value the views of all of our residents. In
preparing these comments I have sought
to focus on reality and pragmatism, not
differing ideologies.
As the commissioner
assigned the task of
assuring this county
operates with a balanced
budget while serving
the needs of all citizens
efficiently and effectively,
I am also charged with
the task of assuring we
have the resources to
do so. Being faced with
the challenge of finding
$1 million, it would be
painful to exacerbate
the process by seeing that amount doubled
by actions over which Eastern Oregon
apparently has no control.
Certainly we need to preserve concepts
of free speech and freedom of thought. But
at the end of the day, we need also be sure
we aren’t fiddling while Rome burns.
When our ability to responsibly balance
the budget is placed in jeopardy, I am
obligated to put personal beliefs on the
shelf in favor of responsible stewardship
of our programs and working to assure the
well-being of our residents.
And with that in mind, I question the
wisdom of playing chicken with a president
who has made it abundantly clear he is
willing to carry through on his promises
regardless of the backlash.
Doing so at best could result in a very
hollow victory accompanied by tremendous
losses.
■
George Murdock is a former editor
and publisher of the East Oregonian and
currently serves as a Umatilla County
commissioner. He has been the budget
liaison for the county since taking office in
2013.
The loss of
federal funds
would have
a devastating
impact on
Umatilla County.
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