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How do we all want to be in our perfect worlds?
E
ach of us has a picture in our
minds of how we want our
personal world to be. This vi-
sion of our perfect planet contains
the people most important to us,
along with favorite ac vi es, feel-
ings, foods, decora ons, surround-
ings and more.
Confl ict arises when our vision of
perfect collides with some-
one else’s version of perfect.
Vanilla ice cream at your
birthday party when choco-
late is your favorite? Ka-
boom! A crash has occurred
between your perfect world
and whoever picked out the
ice cream.
In our families and in
our classrooms we have
a challenge to align all
par cipants’ perfect worlds
in a peaceful posi on. How can
new ever hope of doing that?
The process I’m about to de-
scribe worked in my elementary
classroom. I’ve also used it with
families, college roommates, and
businesses to help each group cre-
ate a unifi ed view.
On the fi rst day of school each
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year I held a mee ng with the
en re class. We went around our
circle and each student and staff
member answered the ques on:
How do we want our classroom to
be? As each person spoke, I listed
his or her comments on a sheet of
s cky fl ip chart paper. Since I was
also part of the group, I felt free to
add my comments at the
end, which helped include
any ideas that were
overlooked.
As our list grew certain
themes emerged. For
example, the list might
include items such as:
we want our classroom
to be a fun place to
learn, peaceful, kind,
clean, bubbling, quiet,
everybody included,
problem solving,
respec ul.
With this list of two or three
pages visible on the wall, I posed
my next ques on: What rules do
we need to make sure we have this
kind of classroom?
Each person was asked to con-
tribute ideas. I suggested we vote
and limit the rules to fi ve in order
that the rules would be easy to
understand and remember. The
rules varied year to year, and were
also subject to change in later class
mee ngs. The rules would look
something like this:
• Give friendly reminders of the
rules and how we want our class
to be.
• Do your work.
• Respect everybody.
• Be enthusias c.
• Have a can-do a tude.
A er the rules were wri en on
Maren
Schmidt
_______________
Kids Talk™
the fl ip chart paper and posted in
full view, I asked my next ques on:
How are we going to enforce these
rules?
Each student was invited to
comment on what consequences
should occur. Some years the group
suggested and voted for repercus-
sions such as missing out on group
ac vi es, having to write apology
le ers, or going in front of a stu-
dent tribunal.
That evening I would type up
the three ques ons and their cor-
responding answers. Everyone in
the class would sign a copy, which
was posted in the classroom. Each
member of the group received a
signed copy for their por olio.
Enforcement of the rules was
easy, because the rules were rarely
broken. With these three ques ons
we aligned our personal visions of
our perfect classroom. Our class,
except for the occasional bump
of personal worlds, was how we
wanted it to be. For example, if we
were served strawberry or pistachio
ice cream, instead of chocolate, we
it s ll would be a fun party.
________
Kids Talk™ is an award-winning
column dealing with childhood de-
velopment issues wri en by Maren
Stark Schmidt, M.Ed. She has more
than 25 years experience working
with young children and is the au-
thor of Understanding Montessori:
A Guide for Parents. Contact her via