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Grieving families can expect a new local resource
By VIRGINIA JUSTICE
People who lose their
spouse are widows or widow-
ers, children who lose their
parents are orphans. But there
is no term for parents who
lose their child and no tle for
siblings who lose a brother or
sister – perhaps because this
loss defi es the normal order of
things.
Children grieve, o en quite
diff erently from adults. How
can we help children under-
stand and adjust to losing a
loved one? How do you explain
to a child that a parent or sib-
ling has died? Remember that
grief is unique to each individ-
ual; there is no right way or wrong
way to grieve. Grief has no me
Family
Health
limits; the amount of me needed
is as unique as a fi ngerprint.
According to The Dougy Center,
the Na onal Center for Grieving
Children and Families, there are
several ways to help grieving chil-
dren. They recommend complete
honesty, not telling a child that a
loved one passed, expired, or was
lost but rather telling them the
person died. Listen to what children
have to say and off er comfort. Do
not be afraid to talk about the per-
son and feelings of loss, sadness,
and/or anger.
Prepare children for the funeral
by explaining in simple terms what
will occur, the rituals involved and
what to expect. If your family has
certain tradi ons or rituals you
may want to explain why things
are done the way they are. You
may want to talk about things like
crema on, interment and burial so
the child understands what these
mean. Explain that all people react
diff erently and that some people
may cry, and assure children that
you are there to provide comfort
in the form of a hug or a hand to
hold. If possible, involve children by
giving them a part in the service;
just make sure their role is age-
appropriate.
Currently the nearest resources
for grieving children and parents in
Eastern Oregon are in Kennewick
(Cork’s Place), local private mental
health counseling, or a long drive
to The Dougy Center in Portland.
Jan Peterson-Terjeson and her
husband, Ma , are spearheading
eff orts to open “Cason’s Place” in
Eastern Oregon to provide our area
with a loca on to help those who
are grieving. Jan and the board of
the new organiza on are hoping to
open around September in a Uma-
lla County loca on to be deter-
mined a er the new year.
Following the Dougy Center
model, Cason’s Place will off er
age-appropriate sessions for chil-
dren and parents. “Everyone’s child
is important,” says Jan. “We are
looking for a way to help parents
help their children.” In the future,
they hope to off er sessions that are
related to the manner of death, as
this is o en important to the heal-
ing process.
Jan welcomes the opportunity
to speak at civic clubs, churches or
city mee ngs and is always looking
for individuals willing to volunteer.
Anyone interested in dona ng,
volunteering or having Jan speak
to your group may contact her by
email at janpt.loss@gmail.com or
phone at 541-720-1620.
________
Home economist Virginia JusƟ ce
holds an educaƟ on degree. The
Pendleton resident and her husband
have two college-aged daughters.