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OPINION
East Oregonian
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Founded October 16, 1875
KATHRYN B. BROWN
Publisher
DANIEL WATTENBURGER
Managing Editor
TIM TRAINOR
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MARISSA WILLIAMS
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OTHER VIEWS
Be thankful year-round
A
hopes for the young nation, along
mericans used to know
with wise words for the distant
how fortunate we are. If
future:
we entered winter with
We should “humbly and
well-stocked larders, that was
fervently to beseech the kind
ample reason to be relieved and
Author of these blessings,
grateful. Abundance is far from
graciously to prolong them to
guaranteed. There is ever so
us; to imprint on our hearts a
much that can go wrong on a
deep and solemn sense of our
farm and on a planet.
Matt
The Thanksgiving feast
Winters obligations to Him for them; to
teach us rightly to estimate their
celebrated in Plymouth,
Comment
immense value; to preserve us
Massachusetts, in 1621 is
from the arrogance of prosperity
a polished centerpiece of
and from hazarding the advantages we
American folklore, marking the
enjoy by delusive pursuits; to dispose us
pilgrims’ first New World harvest.
to merit the continuance of His favors by
Only a year before, the Mayflower’s
not abusing them, by our gratitude for
passengers and crew arrived on “a faire
them, and by a correspondent conduct
sunshining day” and “gave God thanks
as citizens and as men; to
for his mercies, in their
render this country, more
manifould deliverances,”
and more, a propitious
Gov. William Bradford
asylum for the unfortunate
reported.
of other countries; to
Thinking of images
extend among us true
from old bank calendars,
and useful knowledge;
we imagine laughter and
to diffuse and establish
sharing between pilgrims
habits of sobriety, order, morality, and
and Indians seated at a long table.
piety; and, finally, to impart all blessings
Maybe, in some ways, it was a jolly
we possess or ask for ourselves, to the
time. It also was deadly serious spiritual
business — a fervent prayer for a kinder whole family of mankind.”
Preservation from “the arrogance
fate as another bitter New England
of prosperity,” serving as “a propitious
winter began to scheme renewed
asylum for the unfortunate of other
attacks. After all, nearly half of the 102
countries,” and honoring “habits
colonists died in the settlement’s first
of sobriety, order, morality, and
awful months. The mourning survivors
piety” — these all are aspirations that
would have absolutely dreaded that
all deserve to be ingrained in our lives
approaching second winter — thankful
to be alive and savoring the successes of today. Strongly grounded in morality
the growing season, but anxious to be on and having staked his life and honor
on the attainment of national freedom,
the right side of an Almighty they might
Washington knew we are never more
all too soon be meeting in person.
than a bad harvest or two away from
National well-being
utter calamity. His America was one
With the advantage of almost 400
that didn’t take good times for granted.
years of hindsight, we know things
It would be fascinating — perhaps
eventually worked out pretty well. The
shocking — to hear what Washington
path to national well-being was never,
would say about his nation today.
however, without peril.
Turkey day in Montana
After skipping a year, in some ways
Like many other farmers in and
the second Thanksgiving observance
around Roundup, Montana, my great-
in 1623 may have been an even more
grandparents, Tom and Elizabeth Bell,
fervent and sincere expression of relief.
turned to turkeys as a cash crop in 1919
Our ancestors — it’s been estimated
as drought ravaged their wheat fields
at least 35 million living Americans
and commodity prices crashed in the
are direct descendants of Mayflower
immediate aftermath of World War I. So
passengers — offered grateful prayers
many farmers eventually raised them
after yet another close call. They
that prices tanked and turkey became a
credited religious fasting for breaking
an early summer drought that threatened commonplace meal for copper miners in
the nearby Rockies.
starvation. Bradford recalled:
During the Great Depression, my
“They sett a parte a solemne day
grandparents revived turkey husbandry
of humiliation, to seek the Lord by
humble and fervente prayer, in this great as one of their own survival strategies.
Until butchering week, it mostly
distresse. And he was pleased to give
was all Grandma’s job. She’d feed,
them a gracious and speedy answer …
protect and defend six or eight hens and
toward evening it begane to overcast,
a gobbler through western Wyoming’s
and shortly after to raine, with such
sweete and gentle showers, as gave them Siberian winter while every predator in a
cause of rejoyceing, and blesing God. … 10-mile radius circled the ranch waiting
for the sentry to let down her guard.
the earth was thorowly wete and soked
“Your grandma would fret over her
therwith. Which did so apparently revive
and quicken the decayed corne and other turkey hens,” my uncle, their eldest
son, recalled. And she was a crack
fruits, as was wonderfull to see… For
riflewoman.
shich mercie (in time conveniente) they
Come spring, or what passes for it
also sett aparte a day of thanksgiving.”
in the mountains, these hens with wild
Imagine a parent’s vast relief: My
strains still dancing in their genes would
child will not die of hunger this winter.
try slipping away to make renegade nests
Thank you — thanks everlasting.
in the willows or roughs, Easter treats
Thanks in the USA
for every passing coyote and bull snake.
President George Washington first
My mom remembered seeing one giant
proclaimed a national day of thanks
old snake in the pasture with four or five
in 1789 in his first year in office. (It
turkey eggs bloating his ribcage, looking
didn’t become an officially sanctioned
like a bizarre multi-knobbed barbell.
annual observance until the Civil War
Called jakes and jennys, those young
era, when Abraham Lincoln gave it
turkeys that didn’t naively wander off
his blessing. Until the 1850s, it was
into waiting jaws or irrigation ditches
regarded as a regional event limited
were pampered along until November.
to the New England states, derided by
After brief, but contented, lives of
some Southerners as Pilgrim Christmas.
Of course, they eventually embraced the chasing grasshoppers, squabbling
over victuals and vying for grandma’s
idea — who doesn’t love a feast?
attention, in the end 30 to 50 mature
Washington’s most eloquent
Thanksgiving proclamation — declaring 10-15 pound birds were ready for
a holiday for Feb. 19, 1795 — came near butchering. All the small-time ranchers
in the vicinity would trade visits to help
the end of his time in office:
each other out with this daunting and
“When we review the calamities,
gory project.
which afflict so many other nations, the
Grandpa loaded up his wagon shortly
present condition of the United States
before the holiday. He and my uncle
affords much matter of consolation and
set off for the scales in our little town,
satisfaction. Our exemption hitherto
from foreign war; an increasing prospect as the train waiting to take them east
of the continuance of that exemption; the gathered steam at the depot. There were
wagonloads of turkeys all up and down
great degree of internal tranquility we
the street. Anxious men waited to get a
have enjoyed; the recent confirmation
check for real silver money. An excited,
of that tranquility by the suppression
hardworking boy might get a dime to
of an insurrection which so wantonly
buy candy at the drugstore. And “Mom
threatened it; the happy course of public
squirreled away what she could for what
affairs in general; the unexampled
few presents we got,” my uncle said.
prosperity of all classes of our citizens;
And there was still one turkey
are circumstances which peculiarly
destined for our family’s own
mark our situation with indications of
Thanksgiving — the best bird in the
the Divine beneficence towards us. In
world — according to two skinny old
such a state of things it is, in an especial
kids who always honored their parents’
manner, our duty as people, with devout
sacrifices and love.
reverence and affectionate gratitude,
We honor them still, and give thanks.
to acknowledge our many and great
■
obligations to Almighty God and to
Matt Winters is editor and publisher
implore Him to continue and confirm the
of the Chinook Observer, sister paper of
blessings we experience.”
the East Oregonian.
Washington expressed his immediate
Abundance
is far from
guaranteed.
OTHER VIEWS
Farewell to the comic in chief
I
miss him already. Miss his steady
The secret source of humor is not
rationality, his I-got-this mien,
joy, Mark Twain said, but sorrow.
the eight years without a hint
And in looking back at the presidents
of personal scandal. And not to be
who could tell a joke, you see people
overlooked, I miss the wit of Barack
surrounded by tragedy. Obama may
Obama. No president has had a better
have found some of his inspiration
comic sensibility.
from the man who held the union
Let’s face it: We’re going to need
together at its darkest time, Abraham
Timothy Lincoln.
to laugh to get through the presidency
Egan
of Donald Trump and the Monster’s
Lincoln’s best-known comic
Comment
Ball of his administration. Trump can’t
line came during a debate, when he
tell a joke, nor can he take one. He
was accused of being two-faced.
was graceless and unfunny at the Al
“Honestly,” he said, “If I were
Smith dinner last month, getting booed for his two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”
boorishness. And he was petulant and petty
Teddy Roosevelt, who lost his wife and
with his tweet after a “Saturday Night Live”
his mother on the same day, was a buoyant
skit had him asking Siri about the Islamic
prankster and joke-teller, and probably the
State.
only president to skinny dip in
Thankfully, jokes at the
the Potomac. His progressive
expense of the highest office
agenda was often stymied in
in the land are fully protected
the Senate. T.R. returned the
by the Constitution. But jokes
fire. “When they call the roll,”
coming from the occupant
he said, “the senators do not
of that office are rare, and
know whether to announce
rarely funny. Obama is the
present or not guilty.”
exception.
His fifth cousin, Franklin
Anyone can write a joke.
Roosevelt, loved a good joke,
Few can deliver one. Obama has great timing, and not just while mixing drinks during his
and a sense of self-deprecation honed over
regular White House cocktail hour. At the
years of making fun of his name and his ears.
depth of the Great Depression, in signing
Here’s a highlight reel to call upon during
legislation that loosened the worst grip of
the coming White House humor drought:
Prohibition, he said, “this would be a good
While being interviewed for a post-
time for a beer.”
presidency job not long ago, an employer
Harry Truman gave us the line about how
played by Stephen Colbert was skeptical that
to find a friend in Washington — “Get a dog.”
Obama had any useful skills. “I did win the
John F. Kennedy parried concern about his
Nobel Peace Prize,” said the president.
wealthy father buying the election with a
“Oh, what was that for?”
telegram he read for the press: “Dear Jack:
“To be honest, I don’t know,” Obama said.
don’t buy a single vote more than is necessary.
You would think that having your
I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a
legitimacy challenged would make you
landslide. Love, Dad.”
Nixonian dark or Trumpian enraged. For
Ronald Reagan, who learned to glide
Obama, the birther nonsense has given him
through public life on a carpet of soft humor,
some of his best material.
had this famous quip to his wife after being
So there he was in a video for the White
shot: “Honey, I forgot to duck.”
House Correspondents’ dinner, waiting in line
Obama’s humor is droll, with a bite. He
at the department of motor vehicles to get a
noted that Dick Cheney said he was the worst
driver’s license.
president of his lifetime. “Which is interesting,
“You’re going to need a birth certificate,”
because I think Dick Cheney is the worst
says the clerk. Obama pulls one from his
president of my lifetime.”
pocket. “It’s real,” he deadpans. Another
The 44th president is leaving office with
video showed him getting retirement tips from soaring approval ratings, or as he put it: “The
former House Speaker John Boehner. Obama
last time I was this high, I was trying to decide
looked at the bright side: “I can wear those
my major.”
mom jeans again.”
In Greece last week, after touring the
Appearing on “Between Two Ferns,” the
timeless monuments of an ancient civilization,
mock cable show with Zach Galifianakis,
Obama was pestered with questions about the
Obama was asked, “What’s it like to be the
fate of the planet when he hands the office
last black president?” POTUS didn’t blink.
over to Trump. He offered some reassuring
“What’s it like for this to be the last time
words, echoing Yogi Berra. “I always say that
you’ll ever talk to a president?”
the only thing that is the end of world is the
Trump sends out angry tweets demanding
end of the world.”
apologies, and cyberbullying his many
■
enemies. Obama used Twitter to comment on
Timothy Egan worked for 18 years as a
an unusual recipe for guacamole in The New
writer for The New York Times, first as the
York Times. “Not buying peas in the guac,” he Pacific Northwest correspondent, then as a
wrote, a bipartisan conclusion.
national enterprise reporter.
Anyone can
write a joke.
Few can
deliver one.
LETTERS POLICY
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and public policies for publication in the newspaper and on our website. The newspaper
reserves the right to withhold letters that address concerns about individual services and
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