Page 4A
OPINION
East Oregonian
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Founded October 16, 1875
KATHRYN B. BROWN
DANIEL WATTENBURGER
Publisher
Managing Editor
JENNINE PERKINSON
TIM TRAINOR
Advertising Director
Opinion Page Editor
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MIKE FORRESTER
Pendleton
Chairman of the Board
STEVE FORRESTER
Astoria
President
TOM BROWN
Bigfork, Mont.
Director
KATHRYN B. BROWN
Pendleton
Secretary/Treasurer
JEFF ROGERS
Indianapolis, Ind.
Director
OUR VIEW
Down the
rabbit hole
Alzheimer’s caregivers struggle
with exhaustion, isolation
H
ello Alzheimer’s.
residents.
About six years ago,
“Some people are military
my mother-in-law’s
brats,” said Eshbaugh, speaking
neurologist gave her news that
Thursday by phone. “I was a
nursing home brat.”
no one wants to hear — she
The little girl especially
had Alzheimer’s disease. The
connected with residents who
heartbreaking diagnosis was a
had dementia.
gut punch. We tried to imagine
“They were in a different
this outgoing, savvy woman
Kathy
just sliding away into oblivion
time
and place,” Eshbaugh said.
Aney
— this mother of three, gourmet
“They were the best playmates
Comment
cook, singer, outdoorswoman,
ever.”
retired travel agent and center of
Her unique blend of
family life.
experience, education, research and
Joyce Johnson and Warren Aney met
counseling means Eshbaugh has plenty
at age 14 at a church summer camp.
of road-tested advice for caregivers. To
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stay sane, she advises family caregivers
immediately connected.
to:
“She was the second girl I kissed,”
• Take care of yourself. “We have
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a culture of independence and a
WHHQDJHVHOI³7KH¿UVWJLUOZDVDFRXSOH superhero mentality. Your health has to
days before.”
be as important as their health. This is a
Their personalities meshed in
marathon, not a sprint.”
interesting and lovely ways, he said,
• Pick your battles. She tells the story
and they married at age 19. The couple
of a woman with Alzheimer’s who spent
raised a family in Portland that included
three hours a day loading the dishwasher
several foster children. They took the
with clean dishes, then unloading and
kids on cross-country ski trips and
repeating. “It drove her family crazy, but
camping adventures in their Volkswagen it made her feel useful. In the end, they
minivan. They were a team.
came to terms with it.” Another person
After 55 years, the relationship
read the same chapter of a book over
shifted. Warren, a retired regional
and over. Eshbaugh sees no problem
manager for Oregon Fish & Wildlife,
with this behavior. “Sometimes we
spends his days taking care of Joyce. She create problems when there aren’t any
is wheelchair-bound, so he shuttles her
problems.”
between different spots in the house —
• Learn that being totally honest
the bed, the toilet, the dining room table
is sometimes not the right thing. She
and the easy chair in the family room.
told of a woman who repeatedly asked
He feeds her and makes sure she gets
when her long-deceased mom would
her medications. He takes her to church
be coming home. Instead of setting
and parks her in the front row because “I her right, her caregiver learned to say,
want her in the center of things.” He is
“She will be back soon.” “We call this
constantly tired, but committed.
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“The alternative is not to have her
their reality.”
here and that’s worse — not to be with
Eshbaugh also urges caregivers to do
her,” Warren said.
as Warren does and focus on the day. In
So he concentrates on each day,
addition, she advises caregivers to forget
one at a time. He knows the ultimate
about people who aren’t supportive, to
trajectory down this rabbit hole,
accept help, forget feeling guilty and
however, and says when the time is right have a sense of humor.
for Joyce to move to a nursing facility,
“Figure out what makes you laugh
he will let her go. He refuses to dwell on and actively seek that out,” she said.
that future.
“And don’t feel guilty for laughing.”
“If you dwell on it, it could be
Warren echoed Eshbaugh’s advice
depressing, but I don’t have time
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to dwell on it,” Warren said. “My
injuring his back during a lift, he learned
obligation — my opportunity — is to
lift techniques and vowed not to take
take care of her as long as I can.”
chances with his own health.
Warren and Joyce aren’t alone in
Joyce’s short-term memory has faded,
their daily struggle. As America ages,
though she still has some long-term
the number of people with Alzheimer’s
recollections. She stays quiet most of the
rises. According to Stephanie Barnhart-
time, but pipes up unexpectedly.
Herro, program director of Oregon Care
The other day, Warren toiled over
Partners, there are 60,000 Oregonians
a crossword puzzle. When he couldn’t
with the disease.
remember the name of “Lucy’s
“The population is aging really
husband,” he asked Joyce.
rapidly,” she said. “By 2020, the number
“Desi,” she said.
of Oregonians over the age of 65 will
Warren has learned to celebrate those
increase by 63 percent. The biggest
moments of connection. He smiled.
known risk factor for Alzheimer’s is
In a poem Joyce penned shortly
age.”
after her diagnosis, she wrote “They
She said a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s
say that eventually I won’t recognize
can feel like having your world pulled
my sweetheart of 50-plus years. What
out from under you.
a heartbreak ... Remember me as a
“They’ve been given this really
compassionate, creative, giving soul who
scary diagnosis, but are not really told
loves her life as it is, but not as it will
what to do,” Barnhart-Herro said. “For
become. Maybe this is just a bad dream.
caregivers, the stress is huge. That’s the
Please I’m ready to wake up now.”
other side of this disease.”
Warren once asked himself whether
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s he would have married his high school
is a daily slog. There’s no manual,
sweetheart had he known she would
though Oregon Care Partners offers
get Alzheimer’s and require years of
online classes and trainings in various
caregiving. The answer, he said, came
cities around the state.
without hesitation.
“It’s a 24-hour-a-day job and
“Our life together has been greatly
oftentimes caregivers don’t have
enriched with wonderful children and
time to care for themselves,” she
grandchildren, with shared adventures
said. “According to the Alzheimer’s
and experiences, with jointly developed
Association, it can last from two to 20
social and religious linkups, with similar
years. The way it progresses is different
but complementary appreciation and
for everyone.”
celebration of arts and nature,” he
Elaine Eshbaugh writes about the
said. “Given this rich and rewarding
disease in her blog, “Dementialand.”
relationship over so many years and
The associate professor at Northern
the realization that Joyce is still partly
,RZD8QLYHUVLW\LVWKH'LYLVLRQ&KDLU
able to maintain and appreciate this
of Family Services and Gerontology
relationship, I would not have done it
and the daughter of my friend, Sue
differently.”
Dwyer. When Sue worked as activities
Ŷ
director at a nursing home many years
Kathy Aney is reporter for the East
ago, young Elaine wandered among the
Oregonian.
OTHER VIEWS
Listening to Ta-Nehisi Coates
while white
D
ear Ta-Nehisi Coates,
dominate and control our bodies.
The last year has been an
Sometimes this power is direct
education for white people.
(lynching), and sometimes it is
There has been a depth, power and
insidious (redlining).” In what is bound
richness to the African-American
to be the most quoted passage from the
conversation about Ferguson,
book, you write that you watched the
Baltimore, Charleston and the other
smoldering towers of 9/11 with a cold
killings that has been humbling and
heart. At the time you felt the police and
instructive.
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David
Your new book, “Between the
RIQDWXUHWKH\ZHUHWKH¿UHWKHFRPHW
Brooks
World and Me,” is a great and searing
the storm, which could — with no
Comment
contribution to this public education. It
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is a mind-altering account of the black
You obviously do not mean that
male experience. Every conscientious American literally today (sometimes in your phrasing you
should read it.
seem determined to be misunderstood). You are
There is a pervasive physicality to your
illustrating the perspective born of the rage “that
memoir — the elemental
burned in me then, animates
vulnerability of living in
me now, and will likely leave
a black body in America.
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Outside African-American
days.”
nightclubs, you write, “black
I read this all like a slap
people controlled nothing,
and a revelation. I suppose
least of all the fate of their
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bodies, which could be
sit with it, to make sure
commandeered by the police;
the testimony is respected
which could be erased by
and sinks in. But I have to
the guns, which were so
ask, Am I displaying my
SURÀLJDWHZKLFKFRXOGEH
privilege if I disagree? Is
raped, beaten, jailed.”
my job just to respect your
Written as a letter to your
experience and accept your
son, you talk about the effects
conclusions? Does a white
of pervasive fear. “When I
person have standing to
was your age the only people
respond?
I knew were black and all
If I do have standing, I
of them were powerfully,
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adamantly, dangerously
the legacy of lynching and
afraid.”
some guy’s decision to
But the disturbing challenge of your book
commit a crime inadequate to the complexity
is your rejection of the American dream.
of most individual choices.
My ancestors chose to come here. For them,
I think you distort American history. This
America was the antidote to the crushing
country, like each person in it, is a mixture of
restrictiveness of European life, to the
glory and shame. There’s a Lincoln for every
pogroms. For them, the American dream was
Jefferson Davis and a Harlem Children’s Zone
an uplifting spiritual creed that offered dignity,
for every KKK — and usually vastly more than
the chance to rise.
one. Violence is embedded in America, but it is
Your ancestors came in chains. In your book not close to the totality of America.
the dream of the comfortable suburban life is a
In your anger at the tone of innocence some
“fairy tale.”
people adopt to describe the American dream,
For you, slavery is the original American
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sin, from which there is no redemption.
dream sullied is not a lie. The American dream
America is Egypt without the possibility of the of equal opportunity, social mobility and ever
Exodus. African-American men are caught in
more perfect democracy cherishes the future
a crushing logic, determined by the past, from
more than the past. It abandons old wrongs
which there is no escape.
and transcends old sins for the sake of a better
You write to your son, “Here is what I
tomorrow.
would like for you to know: In America, it is
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traditional to destroy the black body — it is
people across every known divide. It has
heritage.” The innocent world of the dream
unleashed ennobling energies and mobilized
is actually built on the broken bodies of those
heroic social reform movements. By dissolving
kept down below.
the dream under the acid of an excessive
If there were no black bodies to oppress,
realism, you trap generations in the past and
WKHDIÀXHQWGUHDPHUV³ZRXOGKDYHWR
destroy the guiding star that points to a better
determine how to build their suburbs on
future.
something other than human bones, how to
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angle their jails toward something other than
Maybe the right white response is just silence
a human stockyard, how to erect a democracy
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independent of cannibalism.”
unforgettably.
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Ŷ
But you write “‘White America’ is a syndicate
David Brooks became a New York Times
arrayed to protect its exclusive power to
Op-Ed columnist in September 2003.
I think you
distort American
history. This
country, like
each person in
it, is a mixture
of glory and
shame. There’s a
Lincoln for every
Jefferson Davis.
YOUR VIEWS
City can’t track committees,
can’t track our money either
Can we trust the city with all this new tax
money if they cannot keep track of a phantom
committee?
At one time Pendleton was the largest city
When is a committee not a committee? I
between Portland and Salt Lake City. Those
thought since April that I was attending the
times are long gone. We have to compete for
Capitol Improvement Committee. At the July
jobs, business and industry with cities that
7 council meeting Mayor Houk informed me
do a better job of managing their money. It
that I had been attending Capitol Investment
already costs more to live in Pendleton than
Advisory Committee.
surrounding cities. Can we afford to add
If you are confused, so is the city staff.
to this burden? The city collects over $2.5
The next morning I asked the city attorney
million from us in franchise fees, this is for
when this committee was formed. They
use of the public rights of way (roads). I think
GLGDFRPSXWHUVHDUFKEXWFRXOGRQO\¿QGD
reference to the committee last November, not at least half of this amount should be used for
street repair. What do you think?
when it was formed. That afternoon I asked
Finally, we have spent a few hundred
WKHFLW\VWDIILIWKH\FRXOG¿QGZKRZDVRQ
WKLVVRFDOOHGFRPPLWWHH7KH\FRXOGQRW¿QG thousand dollars on Portland consultants
for things that never happened. How about
any record of who was on this committee.
,IWKLVLVQRWDQRI¿FLDOFRPPLWWHHKRZFDQ spending a little money on a consultant from
Eastern Oregon on how to cut city spending?
it recommend anything to the city council?
Rex J. Morehouse
But this happened at the July 7 meeting under
Pendleton
the names of Bob Paterson and Robb Corbett.
LETTERS POLICY
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policies for publication in the newspaper and on our website. The newspaper reserves the right to
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Pendleton, OR 97801 or email editor@eastoregonian.com.