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SECTION TWO
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TEN PAGES
SECTION TWO
PAGES 7 TO 10
DAILY EAST OEEGONIAN, PENDLETON, OREGON, WEDNESDAY EVENING, NOVEMBER 30, 1921.
A Gridiron Dreadnought
ALL-AMERICAN TEAM IN
Swat Artist Also Cracks Some
Old-Vintage Jokes Which
Cause Broadway to Smile.
By LEO T. HEATLEY,
1 iitti national News Service Staff
Correspondent.
NEW YORK. Nov. 3U. Shades of
Edwin Booth!
I la bo lUuh, Sultan of Swat, is an
actor .
Or rather well, lie has signed up
with a vaudeville circuit to do a sons
and dance with Wellington Cross, a
real actor, and Broadway gets its first
dose at the Palace Theatre.
Cross, the actor in the act, says to
the Babe: "Can you sing or dance?"
and tho Babe answers, "1N0. Then
Cross says, "That's good; you surely
belong In vaudeville. (See Joe Miller's
Joke Book, p. 132.) And the audience
laughed. Then. Cross says, "Tell me.
Babe, what made you think you could
act?" And the Babe replies: "I saw
you." And again the audience laugh
ed. Showing how far Broadway is re
moved from Main street. Gopher
I'rairie.
Tho Babe was all rouged up, and he
had a voice like Ringling's steam cal
liope in action. And graceful? Say!
Wears Yank filiform.
The great swatter appears on the
stage in an honest-to-goodness Y:ikee
uniform, carrying bats, baseballs, golf
clubs and a suitcase under his arm.
Ho accidently drops a bat on Welling
ton Cross's toe. The comedy begins.
There Is a bulge in the
-
ft a
v. ' NrfWl
adds, as an afterthought: "Well, ya
gotta keep your eye on the ball." Thou
Cross conies back: "What was the
matter with your eye tho day Art Nehf
was pitching?"
By and by the two of them
down to the footlights and sit down.
Cross proposes that they sing. Wore
you ever out in the Great Alone when
Babe' s jaw the moon was awful clear? Did you
BY II EN 11 Y I- FAUKKLL
(failed I'l'ess Staff Correspondem.)
NEW YOKE, Nov. 30. While th;
reason is not yet open for the hunters
of the "AM-Ainerican" type, those fans
who like to read and argue about "All
All" selections are having some food
for gossip in the nominations for "All
Star" baseball teams.
liVa recent issue. the Baseball Maga
zine, nominates a first team composed
of George Sisler, first base; lingers
Hornsby, second base; Pave Bancroft,
shortstop; Frank Fi isch. third base-
Ituth, Cobb and Speaker in the out- (
field; Steve ti'Neil, catcher; Giiuus, ;
Fa her and Mays, pitchers. j
This combination f;kvois the Anieri- '
can I.eagtte by a counttof seven to four I
and makes it look like the National
League inficlders are all to the good i
and their outfielders all to the bad.
The selection also Hands the bulk of ;
favor to the American League batter- !
''" ' i
Another selection, that of Fred G. i
I Lieh, one of the leading baseball cri'.- j
ics In Now York, is of Interest. Lleb j
I places on his first team; Sisler. first j
I base; Eddie Collins, second base; Ban- .
croft, shortstop; Frisch, third base: I
I ion, .speaker and Boss lining, out-
field; O'Noil, Shall; and Snyder, catch
I e-s; Fa her. Mays. Grimes, Nehf,
Shocker and Covelcskie. pitchers.
ru iii.:-.:. i S'sler, Bancroft, Frisch, Until, j
' Speaker and O'Neil are favored by !
See if you can strike this." shouts j ,,, nv,.rU anu p,.,dmhlv be by!
( ross, holding up an article. "A iUl who do anv kind of "All" picking In
match," says Babe. "Don't let the j ,e m.,jr ,paKlie, Perhaps all will not ;
baml. contuse you .What's this?" asks ,,,.,. with ih nomination of Eddie1
Wellington. "A band ring.' say the ! rnins on second base, as he is fad-
cooie naiie. "What ami tearing?' asks
Come on along!
Fill up your makin's
papers with P. A
Tw o or three nave fallen in tne path of this fellow but he's not down
ycL He's Van Burcn of the Naval Hospital team at the Philadelphia
Nav Yard. His victims are gous from me receiving station, bat they
"ow Join the hospital corps Before the game's over. '
which looks suspiciously like a chew, ever hear a coyote cry when the night
and he looks so frequently at the back was dark and drear? Then you've a
drop-curtain you are forced to con- hunch what the singing was. The
eludo that he'd like to expectorate. But song is about "Little by Little and Bit
this isn't in the act.
Then there are'a lot of jokes, thick
Cross. "Paper," answers Babe. "Don't
pull so bard. What is this?" "A
cigar," answers the mind reader. "And
what is it this genthnuan ban in his tie
(now don't let this one stick' you)?"
asks Wellington. "A stick-pin." re
plies the great seer.
by Kit." Yoil watch the Babe while However, in the vocal league the
he's singing, and you just know he'dil'alie does not hitl much higher than
like to get his hands on the guy tlmt ! .otitf.
wroto the song. I
llalm a Mind llcailcv. ' There were several trifling matters
Then Babe becomes a mind reader, about Mr. Ruth's performance worthy
blindfolded. He sits on the stage and "f mention. He described a certain
knocking a home run. His partner answers questions as nis pamicr goes "'.' as nam eoinpiecieo. i nai was
iiuUh- "U tb:tt nil''" find the Babe inrougu me auuiciicu. iierc s mis sum i : ; n,r " ojuu roucon io nie aiuance
and fast. We won't give them away,
but if you'll look up the flies of Life
and Judge and I'unch for 1903 you'll
get a good lino on the vintage.
Then Babo goes through the act of
IV
II
QUALITY
SERVICE SANITATION.
Your Time
Your time to save on your Groceries and Meats
is NOW, as well as the future.
Have you ever stopped long enough to sum it all
up are you getting more for less money better
quality for the same money and are all vour pur
chases sold on a satisfaction guaranteed basis?,
These are a few of the many good things we offer
you. Call in the store tomorrow or phone the office,
arrange for a weekly or monthly charge account.
Pendleton
Trading Co.
1 hOnC 41)3 the Sign of m SerrW
"If It's On the Market We Have It."
jinent ol the. language. He wore a
bandage about his left wrist, although
he bad not struck out once the day
liefoie and had not slid into a base
i for sev eral weeks. He carried a golf
(bag on his shoulder when he first cn
I tered the stage from th" I'olo (;i-oiinds
I Uvol)al)y. having shot nine holes be
tween games of a double header.
i
I The Babe Is drawing big crowds,
and after he gets uncustomed to his
stuff he may have some fun out of it.
, And yet some people wonder why the
tnovies aro profitable.
I ing, while Hornsby is just reaching bis
1 prime.
In view of what the National Lca
i giie-pitcheis did to the Yankees In the
, world series it looks also as if the
American League hinders may not bo
i entitled to so much room on Ulc pltch
I Ing staff. Also it is hard to see how
' Walte lloyt can be crowded out In fa
i vor of Covelcskie.
: Sisler at first base and Frisch at
third base are In a class by themselves.
' Barring the GiWraltar-likv, Stuffy Mc
1 Innis, the Brown "Sizzler" mitt'lawcs
j all other doorkeepers of the big time
. and there Is no third baseman within
in mile of the 'Fordliam Flack," Frank
j Frisch.
Tluth because of Ills great hitting
and Speaker hen. use of the all-around
class that makes him a centerfielder
of the "All" class for all time, rule su
preme in the outfield. Ty Cobb Is
'there too on his past but that must not
be taken to mean that the Georgia
, Beach Is through. His legs nre not
j what they used to be, but lie is still
Greatest sport you know
to pull cut your makin's
papers and some Prince
Albert and roll up a ciga
rette! That's because P. A.
is so delightfully good and
refreshing in a cigarette
just like it is in a jimmy
pip?! You never seem to
get your fill P. A.'s so
joy'uely friendly and
appetizing. ,
Prince Albert will be a
revelation to your taste! No
other tobacco at any price is
in its class! And, it rolls up
easily because it's crimp cut
and it stays put.
It's the best bet you ever
laid that you'll like Prince
Albert better than any ciga
rette you ever rolled!
And listen! If you havei
a jimmy pipe hankering
by all means know what
Prince Albert can do for
you! It's a revelation in a
pipe as well as in a ciga
rette! P. A. can't bite or
parch. Both are cut out
by our exclusive patented
process.
Prinet Albtrt It
til In iippy r4
bt: tUy ni tint,
mnd hmll pmnn4 tin
humidvra anW in f na
anna tryattd fffaaa
haaWa'ar wllk
apngt mpltttntr
'
prince Albert
the national joy imokt
Copyrljht 1S2I
7 R. J. Rernolda
Tobacca Ca.
Wlnataa.Saltau
M.C.
one grand player. Hay Schalk; I'ittdiurg will clamor for
Steve O'Neill, the husky Cleveland Schmidt anil the I'hiladelphia fans will
v,.i.i.lv..i Is ucncrnllv iciiardeil as. the run to the support of Cy I'erkins. All
best catcher of the game,- although.
Chicago will argue long and loud nhou!,
are Tine catchers, but the Cleveland
Irishman senilis lo have a slight edge.
A London judge refused to allow a
husband to returif his bride to her
family because he found her "unsat
isfactory." jUf 1afr Hati tira hu
band that he had to keep his wife.
.III
i
THE UNIVERSAL CAR
TJie Ford Sedan, with electric self-starting
r.nd lighting system and demountable rims with
3-inch tires front and rear, is a family car of
class and comfort, both in summer and in winter.
For touring it is a most comfortable car. '1 he
large plate glass windows make it an open car
when desired, while in case of rain and all inclem
ent weather, it can be made a niost delightful
closed car in a few minutes. Rain-proof, dust
proof, fine upholstering, broad, roomy seats.
Simple in operation. Anybody can safely drive
it. Vhile it has all the distinctive and econom
ical merits of the Ford car in operation and
maintenance. Won't you come in and look it
over?
Yours for Service
SIMPSON AUTO CO.
Phone 408
Water and Johnson Street
AY
I
4.3-7 a
4'
N V. Y YOKK. N"V. 3. (I. X. S.)
Kntering the bond department of S. W.
Straus H Co.. Miss Alexa Stirling, of
Atlanta, (liorgia, who for five .veal's
held the women's national golf chant-'
piniiship, is now a New York business
woman and has sold her first bond.
"Naturally f am very much encour
aged. I hardly expected to get right
duwn to business so soon." she said.
She set to' one side a pile of letters
and telegrams of congratulation,
many of them from some of her
friendly golfing enemies, and said it
I was not her intention to give up the
game "not by any means," but she was
not so sure aboct getting into future
' national tournaments. "That," win
I added, "will depend entirely upon hoy
much time the first consideration of
j business may take." She has not
: joined anv of the local golf Hubs, iil-
i iliniich tho privileges of several of
I them have been extended to her. "I
shall get a game whenever it is pos-
I nblc," she said.
"I hive not begun to feel settled
vet" said Miss' Stirling. "I am living
, in Port Wai'hington with some friends
j who went to Scotland with me last
: Slimmer. I will have my own home
in the citv before very long."
I Asked how she happened to enter
! business, site said: "I made up my
mind a long lime ago that, lilo
great main' other women. should do
i something individual, and t was verv
; glad when the opportunity to enl
this business came my way." She
: agreed that it is a far cry from the
open air freedom of the golf course t
the confined seriousness of business,
"but," site said, "there are parallels in
that in each there Is the Incentive for
high endeavor and that each calls for
' a great deal of concentration."
KIRSCHBAUM CLOTHES FALL AND WINTER ,
1921 !M
lj-ust unpacked! New Fall t
fe suits from those famous
toi .ii Dioi: 1:1 s
ciii.r.Mnrs. Nov. 311.--(i. X. s.)
That divorcees shoubl not rm.-irrv for
at least six months after the Icree 01'
j.:ivorru has been granteil is 'he I" li f
1 voiced by Common I'leas Jai';-. Tar
bell, of Piown cennty now h I'dir.g
court here.
The Judge expressed his opinl it,
' while hearing the soit of Mr.-. Lois
Thomas, eighteen, for divorc .'run
her husband. Jiu'ge Taibe'r srgg
tion for a six month interval wa. ,,re-
! ceded by a lecture in w hich h touch
ed niion tile evil of yoidlifol 111. ir
ri.ig 's and the bigger wrong of obtain
ing divorces only to remarry hastily,
Kxcepiion, however. wa taken by
I .Mrs. Thomas to the six month pro.
IuosjiI. "Anything ntav happen in six
makers-the Kirschbaum shops.
They'll fit. They'll wear.
They'll give you a full money's
worth. That's our guarantee!
. 30 to 45
BOND BROS,
Pendleton's Leading Clothiers
PENDLETON
gigay".jUi&upiOT
months." she said. Mrs. Thomas was i
l.lloV.ed ik (livoic,., J