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About East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 15, 1921)
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GREAT CAESAR! have I lost
Harry Beldon stood block
lng tha war of impatient shoppers
while b searched bis available pock
ets. "I hava, and Aunt Olivia has got to
bar that silk this afternoon. Its ber
only chance to ba fitted by Mat. Cyr,
or words to that effect What waa that
stuff? It wasnt dope; It was. some
thing. Are the pitying angels looking
down on tna now?"
Apparently no angelic pity soothed
Harrys perturbed spirit His dlstraet
ad gaza rested on a young and grace
ful figure at the hosiery counter. Two
rapid strides and the courage of des
peration brought Harry to1 ber side.
1 bag your pardon, madam," be bo
na. She turned with a surprised expres
sion ta ber lorely ayes.
"I flout ilka to trouble yon," ba went
an with an embarrassed blush, "but
would you mind telling me the color of
that gown yon bare on?"
The surprise in her face deepened,
fluffy blonda who presided orer
50ER AMES waa young and
fc A husky and cut out for ft regu-
lax farmer, but ba wore spec
tacles and mannerisms and tat ta ts
chair of mathematics at tha university,
except when ba chummed around with
Flem Green and acted according to
But principally, Soger Ansa had
hobby, which indirectly saved him
from several -things. He cataloged
folks like any other filing system.
"Sire 'em sp every time, on the
street, over at faculty meetings, any
where," he boasted to Flem, technical
ly his colleague In the art department
who had been cut out for a halfback.
"Street cars m' favorite spot"
"And the folks yon catalogue are
usually feminine. Then you'd never
recognise 'em if you saw 'em out ot
your system," laughed Flem. "What's
the use? You're human enough when
you forget your cards. Going to get
left sometime, old boy. All signs fail,
-Mine dont!" Roger declared. "If
one thing doesn't tell me, a half dozen
do. Take the simple newspaper test
Always tell" em by tha papr they'se
reading and what and when in t Tt
they dont read any, tell 'em thut way
"Sure. Heard that before. I see all
WHEN you go to New York
they show you the Wool
worth building or tha
Brooklyn Bridge, and when with
craned neck or bulging eyes you mere
ly gasp and exclaim "By heck!" then
your Manhattan friend nonchalantly
turns away with tba remark, "Not a
had little building."
Just to do tha natives of Wood field
conduct their visiting friends to tha
Stafford poultry farm. Strangers in
variably admire tha magnificent homo
and grounds of the millionaire owner,
and at tight of tbe immense farm Just
black with poultry bouses Invariably
their eyes bulge, tbey gasp and de
clare, "Good night!" "It's certainly
tome place," they say, "not ona thing
puzzles in. You say this Stafford is
"Yes, air, Ted Stafford made hit pile
all right" and Cy smiles to himself as
if enjoying some secret joke.
SYLVIA'S little foot tapped the
station floor nervously. . She
waa aware of tha disquieting
fact that there was a hole in the sole
ot her right pump. It really waa fool
ish of her to wear that particular old
pair Just because they matched her
dress. A hola la one's shoe was a
calamity at any time, but doubly to to
day. Why. Breck might even carry
out his mad scheme, to often proposed.
At this point in her reflection Miss
Sylvia sighed and flushed. It was such
a pity that Daddy Allen could- and
would not understand what a dear
Just then Breck himself dashed in,
tossed bis overccat on the teat beside
Sylvia and Joined the waiting Una be
fore tha ticket window. Ha stopped a
second to Impart some Information to
"Everything is top hole, angel child.
We're going to remember today, and
no mistake," ba chuckled.
This portended action, and Sylvia
waa ruefully aware that a strenuous
afternoon waa not likely to improve
tha bole, cava in site, to tha great
th hosiery was listening "with undis
"Ton tea," Harry tried to explain,
with mora blushes and Increased em
barrassment, "I was to get one like it
for my aunt"
It hardly teemed possible that that
apple blossom face could assume such
haughty expression or that those ex
quisite blue ayea could hare that froten
"Really!" waa all the beautiful lips
could utter, as the young lady turned
with intensified interest to the Inspec
tion of hosiery. The fluffy blonde was
laughing frankly. , He rushed to the
"Can you see that lady three count
ers down the pretty one? Quick,
please, before she goes away!"
The tall, severe, middle-aged girl
who was selling silks glanced In the
direction he Indicated.
"My eyesight Is fairly good. Tes, I
can see her," she answered stonily.
"Good! I want four yards of silk
Just like that gown she Is wearing."
"We are out of that shsde this morn
ing." right" said Flem Green in tha tone ot
a man who doesnt "When you get
left, let ma know. Some girl might
put ona over on yon. Why dont you
get acquainted with tome good old
fashioned human nature first hand,
tome time? Coma over to the house
and meet my sister."
Roger gTinned and hailed a west
bound henna car. "Not taking this
one tonight?'' he called.
Settling himself In the back seat, be
prepared to file his fellow passengers,
before he reached Emmons street
where the newsboys got on and he
could begin his evening paper, the pa
per which, according to R. Ames' diag
nosis, labelled him the successful, me
thodical man who had no time for
frivolities, but who, (this from the
portions be chose and the regular or
der) would settle down eventually
with a correctly nosed girl In a sizable
square frame house with an even row
of peonies and a prim row ot lark
spur along the walks and plenty cf
well-pruned fruit trees In the back
Suddenly Ames' general cataloguing
became specific, because all at onco
the well-trained eyes, without any
warning, glimpsed an amazing girl in
the second seat front on he other side
of the car. the waa the kind of girl
'Well, why under the sun doesn't ho
buy a real automobile? These Fords
ot his are camouflaged with wire
wheels and made-to-order bodies so
tbey almost deceive you, but still they
are only Fords when all's said and
A-ha! Cy knew that was coming. Ho
licks his chops and begins. For of all
tbe stories that Woodfleld likes to tell
about her citizens that is the favorite.
It was eight years ago in the month
of June Ted Stafford and his mother
lived together on their little farm do
ing a very prosperous egg business,
the nucleus of the Stafford poultry
farm. When Ted graduated from Har
vard two years previous he was en
tirely satisfied to settle down as a
fanner. Already the farm was show
ing signs of progress under his man
agement This June afternoon, however, Ted
detriment of a perfectly good pair o
As she cast about desperately for
some speedy remedy she glimpsed a
piece of paper lying on the floor near
Breck's coat Further inspection
proved it to be stiff and heavy, needing
only judicious folding to make It fit in
tbe slipper.- At any rate, it would do
, Stooping Sylvia picked up tbe paper
and fled to a secluded corner, where
she rapidly slipped her pump off and
inserted the new sole. To be sure, it
did feel a bit knobby, but she was no
longer quite so "out at sole."
On the train tbe masterful Breck re
vealed his startling plan.
"Now that I have the contract which
really establishes , tbe business, I
want you, too. There's a license in my
pocket which has been there quite long
enough. When we get to Harville well
visit a certain nice old Justice of the
"But" protested Sylvia, faintly, aft
er a period of stunned yet ecstatic si
lence, "what will Daddy Allen say?"
"Hang your father!" retorted Breck.
'Oil!" he gasped. "Are you sura?
You tee, tt't tor my aunt. She's mak
ing over something, and X bare to get
"You dont hare to got it here."
Herat Harry taw a ray of hope.
"Is there somewhere else? It't a Tory
His distress waa evident The middle-aged
girl relaxed a little from her
"They might .have It at Bollard t
"Oh, thank you. Thank you a hun
dred times." He turned back to whip
out a notebook. "What color shall I
"That's it I remember now." Harry
slapped his thigh in recognition. He
printed in large capitals that covered
a page of his notebook; T-O-P-E and
"Silk or satin?" asked the tlred
looklng salesgirl! who was measuring
endless, lengths in Ballard & Barr's.
"Which is the more expensive?"
"Then I'll take that"
who would be sure to smile when you
were forty minutes late for dinner and
then produce a corking dinner into
the bargain. Her' nose proved it
Straight, thin, then tip-tilted and just
the right shade naturally pinky
white. Unusual, that nosel R. Ames
had never seen one like It
He got out his mental note-book and
went to appraising the brunette love
liness under the trim navy sailor.
Dressed right, too, by Jove! Nice
straight heels on her shoes, neat
hands, good-looking but not too good
looking blouse, well pressed skirt but
slightly worn. Economical 1 Nice,
sensible bag, too, sitting part way out
In the aisle. Ah! Now she was looking
round so she could see the lights In
the park longer. That was it She
liked outdoor things. Roger tried to
make the brown eyes look at him.
Tbey did. Then they didn't, and regis
tered another point In their favor.
He'd got to meet that girl Somehow.
There wasn't any other way about It.
Oh, here they were at Emmons street
was not farming. Just auer dinner he
took a bath and donned his "city"
clothes. When he walked into tha
kitchen, straw hat in hand, his mother
appraised him with an expression of
"Dear me, Ted," she Joked, "it's no
wonder Ruth likes Woodfleld. I cer
tainly admire her taste."
"Aw, cut it out, ma.- Say, ma, do
you like this tie?"
Of course she did. And If ma did,
then Ruth surely would.
Ruth Burnett lived in the house
next to the Staffords until she was 18.
The two families had been close
friends even after the Burnetts moved
to the city, where Ruth was now a
school teacher. What is more, Mrs.
Stafford invited Ruth to Woodfleld to
spend part of her vacation every Sum
mer, and rumor had It that In the near
future she was coming to Woodfleld
Inelegantly, "he'll thaw out by and by
when I'm rich and famous."
So in the course of an hour Sylvia
allowed herself to be passively guided
up a flight of dingy stairs and Into an
equally dingy office. A kindly faced,
stout old gentleman came forward to
greet them, seeming, to understand
their errand without explanation. The
phenomenon of -an eloping couple no
longer caused him a thrill.
"Half a second and I'll have a wit
ness In." He summoned an office boy
from some other region, deliberately
adjusted his spectacles and then re
marked, "Now for the license. We'll be
sure that is O. K. first."
Without tbe slightest hesitation
Breck confidently reached bis hand In
his pocket and drew it forth empty!
There ensued a profound silence
broken by an Irrepressible chuckle
from tha office boy. Poor Sylvia,
Fatigued with his efforts, Harry
rushed to the nearest lunoh room and
dropped luto t vacant chair, Olano
lng at the demure face opposite, he
recognised t pair of blut ayoa. His
vis-a-vis was the wearer of tht Iden
tical taupe gown. Her gown waa re
lieved by few touches of rose oolor
and her dark hair was crowned with a
rose-colored creation that accentuat
ed the lovely color In her girlish
"Oh!" he gasped. "I beg your par
donthat is to say I hope I don't In
trude." "Certainly not," she answered se
renely. "Thlt Is ft public tabled"
"Oh, yes, but I thought I was
afraid you might be offended by my
abruptness in Congreve Cutler's.
You see I was shopping for Aunt
Olivia. She Isn't really exacting, you
know, only when she has got to have
a thing, she has got to have It."
"And I bad lost my sample, and that .
gown you're wearing was my salva
tion." "I'm afraid I didn't seem obliging.
An Experiment System
where the newsboy got on. But Roger
Ames needed no newspaper test for
the girl across the aisle. She was sure
as car-fares. He almost forgot to get
his copy ot the Messenger and quite
forgot to notice the sheet in the girl's
hands, until in lurid, fire-Inch head
lines It' fairly flung Itself upon his be
wildered sight There seemed to be all
colors ot the rainbow, all the sensa
tions of the universe spattered about
the crinkling page the amazing girl
was bending1 over, Roger had bought
that paper onca In the darkest corner
and thrown It Into the store before
he'd looked at it It had burned his
fingers. Now she was devouring tt in
great chuckling gobs.
"It's a sure test, too, the newspa
per. But to la the nose!" grumbled
R, Ames without enthusiasm. "I dont
believe It She's the first girl I ever
saw that " In the excitement and
threatened disillusionment ot the mo
ment suddenly Roger Ames strode for
ward. He never Indexed exactly what
he Intended to do, recklessly leave the
for good. At any rate Ted was doing
all he could to make therumor true.
Just now he was setting, out for the
station to meet the 3:45, which was
bringing Ruth from the city. As the
old horse jogged along the shady road,
Ted's mind was filled with the pleas
ure of anticipation. For he knew that
the two weeks ot Ruth's visit would
be a delightful break In the dull mo
notony of country life. He knew that
It meant canoe trips with lunch under
the trees; fishing trips where tbey
never caught any flsh; rides along tho
country roads; and (his June it means
all these things and a Io more this
June, Ted decided, be would ask Ru'h
to come to Woodfleld to stay.
I don't know how he knew, but he
was pretty sure what tho pretty little
school teacher's answer would be, and
that probably explained bis frequent
bursts of song. "Yip-l-addy-l-ay!" Tho
birds and the bullfrogs stopped to lis-
. i , , , ,
ftl til mi
Soul of Providence
whose courage bad been rapidly eb
bing, wished herself a thousand miles
Further frenzied -search failed to
produce the missing document, and the
young people were finally forced to re-
treat, proffering apologies and crimson "I never put It that "way," retorted
with embarrassment. The attorney Sylvia spiritedly. "You know that I
bowed them out with a slight trace of think the world of you. Daddy, but I
weariness. ' am going to marry Breck just the
Later In, the afternoon Sylvia and same-."
Breck parted. He was tremendously "Well," her father went on, a twinkle
disappointed and chagrined, but Sylvia in hfs eye, "I see that be has Just so
ffit a thrill of wicked rcflef, for her cured a contract I've been trying to
idea of a wedding was vastly different.
Besides, who ever heard of a girl being
married with a bole In ber shoe? She
giggled at the thoughts.
At dinner Sylvia slid into her place,
dreading the keen scrutiny and ques
tioning of her father. He, however,
was unusually amiable this evening
and when she ventured to mention tha
but I'm staying la Mertdon with my
"Just Ilka me," Harry Interposed.
"I'm staying there with Aunt Olivia."
. "And when I come in to Chicago tor
a little shopping Aunt Penelope al
ways warns ma not to talk with
"That's just right ot her I mean la
general. But Is your aunt Miss Pene
"Bha oertalnly la."
"Then she wouldn't consider ma ft
stranger. I used, the mlnlotor's boys
and I, to steal melons out of her gar
den. I am Harry Belden, and I am
employed by the Amaranth Insurance
Company. You Invent any advantage
of mo, though. You are Mist Jessie
Oalbraith. I s.iw your namo In tho
Mcrldon Froo Press. Hera's the wait
er, .Only tea and cakes Jor you? I'm
famished with all this shopping. I'm
going to have beefsteak with mush
rooms. Mayn't I order for two?"
' "t know Mies Penelope couldn't ob
ject. I'm such an old friend."
Miss Jessie laughed brightly. "Per
vicinity of bis falling angel and walk
to tha lonely rooms or ask her to mar
ry htm at the next stop. What he did
do was to trip glibly over the angel's
sensible bag that had been projecting
Into the aisle, reel unbecomingly nn
one foot, clutch madly at the air and
grasp something fairly supporting.
Then amid a earful ot snickering com
muters, R. A. landed on the lurid
headlines In the girl's lap, with a hand
ful of navy sailor as his visible life
saver. "Shalt we get'off here?" Roger ask
ed politely as soon as he could get bis
And they got off at Park Corner.
After all. It was easier to face each
other alone than under 100 rapid fire
eyeballs. - . '
The girl spoke first "Just what Is
the idea?" she asked with praise
Roger Ames fumbled in his. Indexing
brain for a glimmer. A glimmer came,
but not from the Index region.
"Never believed In love at first
ten. Such a disturbance in this quiet
lane was unheard of.
It was aabout quarter-past throe
when Ted alighted from the depot
wagon. He bustled into the s'HIon
and shouted a greeting to Ira Jones,
who performed the duties of ticket
agent, baggage master and telegraph
operator, and whose official title was
"station agent." Ira waa the news
center of Woodfleld since he picked up
the doings of the surrounding towns
from the agents along tha line. Out
side of this, the use ot the telegraph In
Woodfleld was negligible.
"What's new, Iiy?" queried Ted.
'"Welt, they got a now barber down
In Johnsonvllle, and there's a bur
lesque show comln' inter Eastway
Thursday night. Reckon Wowlfleld's
male population will be kfnda deplet
ed Thursday p. m. Think you'll go
"No, I guess not, Ira."
fact that she had been with Breck that
afternoon did not protest acidly.
"So you think that you would be
happier with that young whippersnap-
pcr, Breck Morrill, than yon are with
your old father?" he queried dryly.
get myself. He's a clever fellow, so I
guess you can have him it you And him
necessary to your happiness. I pre
sume you will want the usual frip
peries, so here's a check as a starter."
When the full Import of this
astounding announcement on tbe part
ot her parent broke upon tbe slightly
dazed 'Sylvia tba made swift and rap
haps, if you at her melons, U would
ba ft return at hospitality," N
Presently Harry gloaeed front hit
eesftteaJt to the cherished parcel be
side him. (
"Aunt OUvtft is going to wear that at
the Wytle-WaUace wedding. You know
i should think to I'm one of Ani
ta Wylie't bridesmaids."
"That's great I'm to ba head usher,
Rather nice we should meet before the
rehearsal, just in an Informal way."
"It wai rather informal," Mist Oal
braith admitted. Her eyes rested on
a little tear in the wrapping paper.
"But that silk Isn't taupo; it't wis
taria." "Wistaria? What's thatr'
"It's Mis color of that goods you've
bought. I'm afraid you made ft mis
take." "Mistake? Not int. That fagged-out-looking
girl gave me the wrong par
ed Great Caesar I"
"I'm tura they will exchange it for
He sprang up. "They'll have ta It't
for Aunt Olivia. I'm sorry to leave you
Ilka this, but you've saved ma again.
And we'll be lure to meet Friday at
By ft torrent ot eloquence Harry
convinced an apathetlo salesgirl and a
skeptical floor-walker ot the mistake
and carried his purchase home in triumph.
sight before, buff I do now. Par
don me for being blunt Know I've
never met you I'll wait any length of
time, or more,, or longer, Mf you'll
promise mo you'll sort of try to see
'm not such a bad chap and marry me
and we'll have a square bouse and
rows of larkspur and peonies and
fruit trees Misa or er "
The girl deliberately smoothed the
crumpled paper and folded It into her
sensible bag. Then she gazed squarely
Into tba man's lover-eyes.
"Is all this quite according to Hoy 1 9
and the Index system, professor?" she
"Professor? You know me by sight
then? You've heard of my filing hobby?
But I beg of . you, don't lay it up
t gainst me. It's Impossible. I love
you. Might I not take you home, Miss
"Surely, professor. Live across the
park, you know. This 4s where I al
ways get off. Believe you do, too, for
that matter, though not always In the
fashion you chose tonight. But we're
Hare their dialogue was interrupted
by the clicking of the telegraph re
ceiver, Ted sauntered over to the gum
machine and surveyed himself as best
ba could In the little circle of mirror.
He bestowed a second or two on his
tie and began to caress his mustache.
At least Ted claimed It was a mus
tache; but were be not a six-footer
some of his acquaintances might havo
differed. However, It was still very
young and, like all young things, was
rather weak, with Its best days before
"Ted!" Something In Ira't voice
startled him, and he rushed to tbe
ticket window. Consternation wai
written on every line of Ira't face.
"S-say, Ted, w-was there some friend
of yours on the 3:45?"
"What's the matter?" ,
"It't gone over the banking at Fair
field Junction. Some mii-up In sig
nals had a collision."
Ted felt the hot blood sui'ge through
his arteries. "My God! Iry, do they
was anybody hfrt?"
Ira spent the next few minutes
frantically clicking his instrument,
while Ted waited tensely, as pale as a
statue and as rigid.
turous acknowledgment, then fled up
stairs. . In the seclusion of her room
she pirouetted and kicked one small
slipper high in the air.
It was the one with the hale in it
and the temporary sole fell out Syl
via smiled remlniscently and picked it
up. Some writing on the fold attract
ed ber attention and she opened the
' So intensely interesting did she And
it that she sat cross-legged on the floor
and read It through with wrinkled
brows, then laughed until the tears
came. Growing somewhat calmer, she
jumped up, and still clutching the
cause of her merriment dashed down-,
stairs skipping stairs recklessly, one
Mr. Allen, enjoying his cigar and
newspaper in tha library, wonderel
mildly what Sytvla found to amusing
In ber telephont conversation. Had ha
"It't two shadca darker than tha
sample and .satin Instead of faille,"
Aunt OUvtft announced with "juab
at-I-expected" expression on ber reso
'But tt't tope," Harry Insisted.
"Yes, you did remember so much.
Oh, you needn't explain. I know you '
lost the sample, Perhaps Madame CyV
can make a combination," -
"I'm sura she can," said Harry
"Much you know about It; but II
doesn't matter eo much, I've Just had
word that Anita has sprained her ankle
and the wedding la indefinitely post
poned. "Postponed? And won't there be ft
rehearsal Friday night?" '
"Cortnlnly not. Anita Is laid up."
"Excuse me. Aunt Olivia, I have an
Important letter to write"
Miss Olivia looked after him as ha
rushed to his den. "With all bit
faults, that boy Is devoted to business."
Harry. was writing: "I want to make
autiids to Miss Penelope for my boy
ish follies. Wouldn't she enjoy going
to some of- the Symphony convorts?
To think I .should grumble over doing
a little shopping for dear Aunt Olivia!
With the rcbenrsal off, It It hadn't
been for that tope stuff we might nev
er have met. Now I have a presenti
ment wa shall be meeting right along."
And Harry was not deceived. They
hoth on the same car always, I'm Flem
.Green's sister, so I suppose I'm Miss
er er Green. I'm In your Math A,
Division 1 Class. Sit In the front row,
third sest and I've gazed at you every
day for three years, because you flunk
me out regularly, and I take the stuff
over because you amuse me, and I
plan to flunk, you see. Don't faint.
"Flem told me about your silly news
paper hobby and about the noses and
things. So tonight I got desperate and
bought a glarey paper and made up my
nose with a knob on tbe end. It can
be done, and deceive. If one doesn't
look too close. Wondered If youjd no
tice me at last I've tried everything
else. Did you?"
In tbe. suburbs Is a certain nooky
bungalow, nothing square about It and
tangles of roses and bridal wreath, not
an even row among them, and chickens
in the back yard, not a single fruit ree.
Thst's where Frofessor Roger Ames
and his wife lire and the youngsters
Flem Green says it's the humane-it,
joliiest place to come he knows xf.
"What they say, Ira what th7
"He says they don't know for tura
but they expect considerable injuries
an' maybe some deaths." Ira was
truthful but not tactful.
Ted commenced to pace the floor la
a frenzy of anxiety. If he could only
do sornetblng If be could only act!
But this suspense. ....
Meanwhile the little Instrument was
still clirkng. This time Ira was taking
a message In pencil. With the cessa
tion of tho clicking he called out, "A
wire from Boston for Theodore Staf
Ted devoured the message and when
he finished he wan weak with joy. To
this day be rates that telegram among
bis most valuable possessions.
Mr. Theodore Stafford, Woodfleld,
I missed tbe 3:45. Will arrive
tomorrow morning. Taxi broke
down and couldn't got another. It
was a Ford. Blame Fords any
An' I swan," declarfs Cy, "Ted
ain't never "-got over his llkin' for;
Fords an' if you saw his wlfo I dun
no's y'd blame hlra either."
listened intently he would have heard
these mystifying sentences badly mix
ed up with gurgles of laughter:
"Breck? Yes, Just as soon as you
possibly can. Yes, father's home. He'll"
bo dolighted to see you. Honestly.
What? No, I'm not spoofing., You'll
never guesa where I found It. Hustle
over and I'll tell you everything."
The receiver clicked and Sylvia, still
holding a badly damaged marriage
license, sat down and laughed some
Fond Father (showing off his off
spring's Intelligence) Now, Elsie,
dear, what Is a cat?
Fond Father Well, whaft that fun
ny little animal that comes creeping
up tbe stairs when everyone'i In bedl
Elsie (promptly) FapsJ