East Oregonian Round-Up Souvenir Edition
Pendleton, Oregon, Thursday, September, 24, 1914
p Three
Twenty-four Pages
James Fishbird's Experience With a Divorce Horse
A Little Story That Shows Mr, Indian as a Schemer Was Not There When He Competed With Mrs. Indian
' Am lung as Jim Flshblrd remained
In the vicinity Mrs. Jim Flshblrd sus
tained her pixte as the Madonna ot
the Dinner Kettle with a yelling pa
poose slung on her back and two ot
more competent UKoa making Incffec
tu;i forties upon tho beef back bone
hlc:h bubbled spasmodically In the
revamped kerosene ran sitting on
the fire. Anticipating his every
movement, Mrs. Jim Flshblrd Inter
fj -posed her form between Jim and the
dinner, defeating his advances with
-sundry rough and heavy pushes at
the imminent hazard of dumping the
fiipoone from her shoulder Into the
pot with the beef back bone. At,
length, wearying of the etuggle and
convincing himself that he wasn't
hungry anyway, Jim Flshblrd drop
ped to the ground In the shade of the
tepee and closed his eyes to rest.
"Wa-too." firmly enunciated Mrs.
Flshblrd, pointing a long bony finger
at tho recumbent Flshblrd, planting
herself firmly with her back to the
pot while the Infant balanced perll
r.UKly on her shoulder 'undecided
whether to risk falling Into the pot
or expiring of hunger, "Wa-too, youj
don't. Three times u m ana me
truth I am speaking with an honest
tcngue you have been In the keep-them-ln
place by the taker-In since
lust rent money day. And then
v.hen you had one horse which you
could easily divide up your property,
und which horse was a nice horse, to
be much better for riding around the
reservation and visit with your
friends than Jhls here little t;-wat
with the wheels only on one end of
It which you traded that horse for,
you can't divide up your property
any more anj get a divorce."
Jim Flshblrd rolled over and kick
ed the go-cart which Mrs. Flshblrd
hud referred to as a te-wat with
The Camera Finds Much of Interest at the Round-Up
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wheels on one end of It, grunted and
closed bis eyes,
"Yes," continued Mrs. Flshblrd, so
Intent upon her subject that she did
not notice the two dogs defying fire
and hot water la their efforts to get
at the beef back bone until the
screams of the two older children
brought her back to the danger of
the situation, "Yes, a dog eating Co
lumbia river Indian would even have
some property which he could divide
with his wife and give her a decent
divorce that her friends and relations
would not say she couldn't get mar
ried again."
In the excitement which followed
the onslaught upon the dogs, Jim
Flshblrd saw his .opportunity and
grasped It, reaching the 'middle of
the road with two boiling hot joints
of beef back bone burning his hands,
which he hastily transferred to his
hat, before Mrs. Flshblrd could com
pose herself sufficiently to hurl the
purting shot.
"If you were even such-a person as
a dog eating Indian that person
would get some properly so ne couiu
divide up and give his wife a di
vorce." An hour later Jim Flshblrd with a
greasy but contented countenance,!
led a black disreputable cayuse, blind
In one eye, out of the Porter yard.
He had effected the purchase of this
piece of property by putting his
thumb In a blotch of Ink and trans
ferrlne the imorint to a piece of pa
per, which piece of paper called for
twenty dollars on or before next rent j
money day, and w as secured by Jim's j
assurance that with this piece ofj
property In his possession he could I
readily effect a divorce with his pres-i
cnt wife, who was very close aboui
rent moneys and foolish enough to
want to invest the same In food ana
clothing, and having obtained th
,
ties he would devgie his exception
al abilities toward Nellie Littleplne, i
whose relations were nearly all good
Indians, meaning that they were
dead, and she had at least calcula
tions seven rent moneys coming to
her on every rent money day, two of
which, at the very most, would cer
tainly be sufficient for any woman of
Xellle I.ittleDlne's ace and circum
stances In life, leaving a remainder;
or at least five rent moneys whtcu
Jim didn't see what In the world she
could do with unless she called him
in to assist in spending it.
I.eavinz the eates behind him open
to the loudly expressed disapproval of
Mr. Porter, Jim Jumped astride the
pony and gave him a vigorous kick
in the ribs and headed him towards
the Flshblrd allotment. Instead of
making any great demonstrations of
1:1s speed forward the pony turned
his head back on his blind aide and
nipped Jim in the calf of the leg.
"Great bear cats," yelled Jim as he
slipped to the ground, "is It dog meat
vi. ii take me for? My lee is busted."
He inspected the pony with a rock
which he picked up from the road
end concluded to try It once more.
This time when the pony darted his
head back Jim's leg was not there.
"i see." said Jim. "a person to ride
this horse must sit with both legs
on one side."
This worked exceptionally well, to
the mutual satisfaction of both par
ties as the pony continued to dart his
head around on the blind side and
nip the air where Jim's leg would
have been had it not been undergo
ing a tender massage directly in front
of Jim's body.
While Jim was carefully dividing
his attention between the injured leg
and the prospective divorce and its
consequences, the pony came to the
railroad crossing and stopped. !
Jim looked carefully up the track
and down the track but seeing no ap
proaching tran, he gave the pony a
vigorous kick in th ribs on tha safe
side and admonished the animal that
if he valued his life as much as a
spawning salmon he would proceed
onward without further delay.
The" cayuse only switched bis tall,
nipped the air on his blind side, and
planted hi for feet wide apart.
Jim opened hta mouth to say some
thing but choosing his iind admin
istered: another kick in. the ribs on
the safe side. The cajuse quietly
moved In th opposite direction from
which the kick came and Jim sat
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down in the middle, of the rad with
a jar that shook the semaphores for
a mile In either direction.
"Suvh a horsei said Jim, as he
slowly oollected his breath, "would
be a good hors for Mr Jim Flsh
Mrd to ride over a railroad track."
He remount but tWs time eier-
citKl a- great deal of discretion and
tanning. When the cayue stopped
at the railroad track Jim.' lay forward i
stretched his legs out on. Ov pony's
back, swiftly dropped hi feet and
administered a vigorous kick on
either side and as- quickly raised
them again. The pony darted his
head around and nipped the air to
Jim a great delight. Jin dropped his
feet and administered another kick.
one on either aid and again th
pony nipped the air and Jim was to
convulsed with silent amusement and
mental contemplation of what would
happen to Mrs. Flshblrd when sha
should attempt to get the pony over
a ralhroad track that he dropped his
head on the pony's neck and wept
Having fully Joyed this pleasant-
(Continued on page 12 )
Mat A
ews9 Stock Foods and Prices-Are. Winners
Matthews
Poultry
Supplies
mae yew
hens healthy,
robust, and
lay more
EGGS
THE R
eond-Up City's 116 KB STOC
I
You Always Get What
'
Carries an Enormous Stock of Hay, Grain,
a m mm
Poultry and mock roods
Don't think of sending elsewhere for your
stock and poultry supplies when you can save
time and freight by buying in Pendleton, the
central distributing point eastot the Cascades
national, Lilley & Co. , and other best lines.
No order too large for us f o fill. Wholesale
and retail. Get our figures on carload lots
YTl'Panlt ' not of us, but we're back of the
bank -next to the Alta Theatre and vpp. city hall
Stock and Poultry Foods, Tonics and
Remedies of All Kinds
A. T. MATTHEWS COMPANY
1 29 E. Alta Street
Phone 1 34