TUESDAY, APRIL 8, 1902.
TIMELY ANNIVERSAEIES,
Some Current Selections From His
tory's Brond Page.
April n.
1732 David Rittcnhouse,
eminent American
mathematician and
astronomer, born nt
Gprcrmntown. l'nUled
In Philadelphia 1796.
1S8S-R 1 c h n r d Grant
White, author and
philologist, died In
New York city; bom
there 1S21.
1SS0 Tornadoes In the
north central states,
with electric storms.
Mississippi and Ohio rivers.
ISSS-Governor Joshua II. Marvll of Dela
ware died at Laurel; born 1S25. Gen
eral Jumes I.. Kemper, ex-governor of
Virginia, and one of the brigade lead
ers In rickett'B charge nt Gettysburg:,
died; born 183.
1897 Dr. von Stephen, founder of the Uni
versal union, died In Berlin; born 1831.
n. G. White.
Floods In the
GEER AND THE SENATORSHIP.
One of the iolittcal problems in
Oregon just now is: What shall the
republicans do with Governor Geer?
He wanted very much to be renomi
nated for the governorship, and he
failed to Induce the state convention
to do so. At once, before he could
peer through the clouds of battle
smoke, he announced, or his friends
announced, that he was a candidate
for the United States senate. Mr.
Geer apparently has the office holding
fever. He has had just enough of
the taste of drawing public warrants
to wish to continue in the pay of the
government. He should be denied
this request.
Governor Geer lost a nomination
because he was not successful in his
first large attempt to discharge public
duties. His administration was a
conspicuous failure. He did not In--form
himself as to tho "business of the
state. He was not a master. He
did not take hold with a firm hand
of the affairs of the commonwealth,
and Inform himself concerning the
needs of the people.
It Is currently believed in Oregon
that Governor Geer was not strong
enough to withstand the influences
brought to bear upon him by design
ing politicians. It is written down as
part of the history of public admin
istrative affairs that Mr. Geer was a
creature in the hands of another, that
Mr. Simon had more to say about
what should or should not bo done by
the chiof executive than Mr. Geer
himself had to say.
As a senator Mr. Geer would not
do otherwise, probably. In Washing
ton, he would be all the more the
willing tool of abler men who desired
to control him. Oregon's Interests,
therefore, would suffer, as they have
suffered during the past four years.
It would be poor policy to elect Mr.
Geer to the senate, and only upon the
ground of party needs can any such
thing bo considered. And It certain
ly would not be right for the common
wealth to be so sorely inflicted by the
elevation to that distinguished posi
tion of a man who hns demonstrated
so conclusively that he is better fit
ted for private life than for the dis
charge of Important duties In connec
tion with high office.
parentl, Captain Christmas lives
where bribers are not In dangor of
being osLaclsed.
AFTER HOLDING OFFICE.
In every community nre to be Been
men who have held offices that
carry a supporting salary, who have
been succeeded by others, and who
are utterly worthless throughout tho
future. Some men there are who have
the energy to turn at once to business
pursuits, the ambition to continue
among the ranks of the active.
These are men who were positive fac
tors before they secured election, and
who gave to their office the best fac
ulties of their minds.
But, the other fellow, God pity him!
He served during his term In the con
tain thought that he was enjoying a
"snap." He did just as much as he
had to do and no more. He vegetated.
He sat ubout other men's offices, and
looked out Into the street. If you
watched his face as he sat there.
It was a study of nothingness. His
salary was sure; hence why need he
put fon.li exertions that were more
than absolutely necessary?
He divorced himself from his for
mer business habits. If he had any,
and now that he is again dependent
! upon himself, he finds it almost Im
possible to collect his scattered re
sources and once agan go into the
multitude of opportunities before
them.
Better for him that he had never
been chosen by his fellows to serve
them, in a public capacity. Better far
had he been defeated at the polls or
in the convention, that to be eternally
defeated by the laziness that so often
comes from lucumbency of official po
sition. As a rule one will do his
friend a favor to assist in beating him
in an attempt to secure election to
office that pays a salary, if that friend
Intend to depend upon that salary
for his support.
ABOUT CAPT. CHRISTMAS.
Some Interesting disclosures are
to bo made In connection with the
charge of the Danish Captain Christ
mas, that the purchase of the Dan
ish Antlllles was the occasion of
wholesale bribery of members of
congress an J pomlnent men in this
country. Christmas Is tho self con
fessed corruptlonist, and, In so far as
ho Is concerned he needs no more at
tention. Christmas may be written
down ns a man unworthy of credance.
He la a briber, and therefore, he
might lie. His allegations against
the character of distinguished Ameri
cans must have ample proof to carry
conviction. It Is beyond the compre
hension of ordinary men how a man
csn bring himself to the task of say
ing what Christmas said, and it Is
Interesting as a comment upon the
methods employed by foreign coun
tries,, and the standard of honesty
that is maintained there. In the
United States, pessimistic as many
are, a .man of Christmas' type is re
garded as a man to bo avoided. No
one would dare to say to the public
that he was' a briber. Men who
bribe Jn this country strenuously
avoid allowing It to be known. -Ap-
PUCK'S HISTORY.
A colloquy between Father Time
and Puck, as follows, appeared In the
number of that magazine issued as a
quarter-centennial edition:
Father Time (entering) Ah, young
man! I've dropped in to have an
hour glass with you.
Puck .Good! I was thinking of
you at this moment. I'm twenty-five
years old today.
Time Twenty-five years young,
you mean! How I do fly, don't I?
Puck Yes; It's quite true, that
thing they say a1out you.
Time And I actually lose all track
of myself. Why, it seems only yes
terday that raw, bleak 14th of
March away back in '77, when the
nurse came out of that dingy little
brick front at 13 North William
Street and said it was a boy.
Puck And shaking her head when
she said It too, If you'll remember.
There wern't any "Welcome Little
Stranger" floral pieces hurled In my
direction.
Time That's right; you were born
of poor but hopeful parents.
Puck And they had to hustle
while they hoped. Do you remember
how the old journalistic grandmoth
ers of the neighborhood shook their
heads over me, too, looking at my
poor little subscription list and croak
ing that it never would grow big
enough to support me.
Time You see they hadn't been
abe to raise any of your kind in this
climate, and the chances were that
this was going to me another case
of weeping willow and "Here Lies."
Why, think of all the other little
strangers that have gone before you.
First there was Yankee Nations, thir
ty years before your time. Then
there have been Vanity Fair, Mrs.
Grundy, Punchiuello, Wild Oats, the
Jolly Joker, the Budget of Fun, real
ly, I ve forgotten myself, how many
others had had their little forms
"pied" on the shoals of insolvency.
Tho weeping willows were kept busy
In those days, my boy, I can tell you.
Puck I began to bo doubtful my
self the moment I could sit up and
take notice. I novor thought that
glass of yours would be turned over
so many times for me. I seemed to
bo just a frail little package of Am
bltion marked "Perishable" and put
on an express train that was going
straight through without stops to the
Valley of the Shadow of Oebt. Say,
Old Man, I could fairly hear that
weeping willow sniffle!
Time But I cheered you up beau
tifully in time.
Puck-Time! Now if that other
thing they say nbout you had been
true "time is .monoy." you know, I'd
have been nil right. I had lots of
time, but tradesmen have no Imagin
ation they couldn't see that time was
money. Why, I might have oked out
this raglan of mine with a pair of
however, I suppose It was Just as
well; and they've gotten used to me
this way without 'em,
Time But before the sand had run
through the glass very many times
you? t0 8Gt a blt huaky' mnt
Puck I did liven up some; but
oven-.then It ,.was.Ma..case-o".aiilied
Christian Science. My two adopted
parentis Tvere keeping me alive on
faith. If thev hadn't both beon very
determined men I'd surely have been
planted out there under the tears of
that lugubrious tree.
And I never became crabbed auu
afraid to make the changes that
would keep me at the head of the
procession. If I do say It myself, I
founded a school or American humor
in picture and words, that promises
not to die. And I created a demand
for fun that not only enabled me to
llva hilt enabled the excellent con
temporaries that came after me to
thrive and wax fat. Keppler with
his crayon and Bunner with his pen
taught the public all over again
that there Is more than one way of
Innkinc at a thing, and that the hu
morous way seven times out of ten.i
is the best. because humor is noth-l
ing more than true seeing a just
sense of proportions ana values., x
don't want to boast, but just between
ourselves, old man. I've been no In
considerate factor In the sanity of
the republic.
Time I'l cheerfully grant you that,
my boy, and you've made an untold
number of people more cordial to me.
I only hope you'll continue to make
me less of a bore to the multitude, for
as many times twenty-five years more,
as laughter continues to be the best
tonic on the market.
Keep 'em laughing, and keep 'em
thinking a little bit, you know, under
neath the chuckles.
Puck I shall try, old man; that's
the keynote: much of what we laugh
about and a little bit of what we take
in earnest.
Time And keep on being unafraid
to speak your mind. Satire is the
only sure kill for sophistry. All
those shams and incongruities in so
ciety, politics and religion are fair
marks for that pointed crayon of
yours. You can't hurt anything with
it that doesn't need to be hurt.
Puck tl found that out long ago.
People get all fussed up when their
own ox is gored, but they do love to
have me gore the oxen of their neigh
bors; and, on the whole. I please
most of the people most of the time.
AN INGENIOUS WIFE.
Mrs. Harmsworth, wife of the edi
tor of the London Dally News, takes
the public Into her confidence and
tells how she pleases and incidental
ly, rules her husband:
Mr. Harmsworth was Inclined to be
a moody most men are and I was
versatile. At times he was all bus
ness, his head and heart filled with
schemes and projects, and I was all
business, too.
At other times he was wearied of
business. A word of it would have
irritated him. Then I was wearied of
business, too. He wanted music we
went to the opera or green fields. We
drove into the country. He longed to
angle for trout; we followed the
stream. Or, he wanted to get out
of England, anywhere, so we traveled
a bit. with a sure relapse of the bus
iness fever, and home we came, and
glad of it.
Then there were times they come
to all of them when he wanted the
society of men, just men, and by a
strange coincidence, I realized I
craved the society of girls, just girls
So we kept the hosts of friends who
were friends before marriage, and
so we are both ready to aver that
marriage is not a failure unless the
carelessness of one's choice may not
make it so.
I could never have edited his pa
Si
The
Woman
Who is discouraged by a condition of ill
health which fails to yield to the treat
ment of local physicians will be glad to
know she can consult Dr. Pierce, by
letter, free. In a little more than thirty
years, Dr. Pierce, chief consulting phy
sician to the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical
Institute. Buffalo, N. Y., assisted by his
staff of nearly a score of physicians,
has treated and cured hundreds of thou
sands of weak and sick women. All
correspondence is held as strictly private
and sacredly confidential. Address Dr.
R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
"After being subjected for some time to an
annoying female trouble," says Mrs. Minnie
TillouoB, of Potomac. Vermillfou Co., Ill , Box
150, "i wrote xo nr. k. v. I'lerce, who at ouce
understood my suffering, ami advised rae to
take ItU Havorite Prescription' and 'Golden
Medical Discovery.' and ue also hU 'Lotion
Tablets' and 'Suppositories.' After using his
medicines eight or uiue months I was com
pletely cured.
"I am grateful to Dr. Pierce for his advice and
the kind and encouraging letters he wrote to
me. I would advise any woman suffering with
female disease, to consult him. Prompt and
resectful attention will be given and good
advice received by so doing."
The Common Sense Medical Adviser,
1008 large pages in paper covers, is sent
free on receipt of 21 one-cent stamps to
pay expense of mailing only. Address
Dr. R. V. Pieice, Buffalo, N. Y.
8moke Pride of Umatilla Cigars.
, 4
NEW THDJG ftf FSTOUT
BEST IN THE WORLD
rvT Xte? arc made m .wo erade. '" 3
1.
i0Ccm ,, 9. First
The John Barrett to. Portland,
BY ERS' BESTFLOUR
IS b51w Seod Eye and Bamta. Barloj.
PENDLETON ROLLER MILLS
-wrr r Y-X7T?TC TrTvriptnr .
Planing Mffl
Ltttnbet Y,
4 .t'
St.
Or.
Gasoline Engine for Sale
Buy their stock hvtu.
carload lots and. kT
cet the benefit of tu
discounts, which enibtf
mem iu sen at a very
margin.
IF YOU NEED . , .
Lumber, Building
Lime. Cement:-Rj
Sand, Terra CoKi
or anything in-fl
get out prices. - fl
Pendleton Planing M i
Lnmkr Yard
R. FORSTER, Propriety
onmno with ninpR and fittincs. oil tanks.
and "vater tanks, everything necessary to set up and operate. Engine
. . il U:rr Jn iicp nn V n tfiW WCEKS.
and httmes are au ucn, uciu6 w -Engine
is very economical and guaranteed to be satisfactory. Price
250 including iiuiuga w
East Oregonian, Pendleton, Oregon.
....in 1
nnw:' t nnniii not nave wruiou im
them. I have none of the qualifica
tions for a genius. But I can keep
hmisp. Next to the study ot nunian
nature a particular male human na
ture, I mean housekeeping is tne
best paying profession a wife can follow.
A little over a year ago the senate
adopted a resolution calling on the
secretary of war for information tend
ing to show the authenticity and gen
uineness of the alleged order for the
massacre of the foreign residents of
Manila, on the evening and night of
February 15, 1899. The secretary of
war has just made response to this
resolution.
You get
Good Beer..
JUST THINK OF IT
Thtee-fourths of the people in I'matlll couuty
Are tuing our harness and saddle and the
oeher tourth bas just commenced to use tbem.
All this goes to snow that ours are all FIRST
CLASS and PRICES KIGHT. We carry a com
plete stock of Collars. Spurs, Brushes, Whips,
Sweat-pads.Pack Riddles, Hags, String leather,
Tents, Wagon covers, Canvas, all kinds.
JOSEPH ELL,
Leading Harness and Saddlery.
You get
What you buy
from us.
BIO Stock of
WOOD, COAL,
SAND & BRICK.
.We do...
Trucking & Transferring.
Laatz Bros.
HARPER
KENTUCKY
WHISKEY
for Gentlemen
who cherish
Quality.
Bold by JOBK BOBMIDT
The Louvre Saloon
PKNDLKTON 0BEQO8
When you drink
PILSNER
BEER.
Guaranteed not to
cause headache or
dizzinesB
Ask for it.
Schultz Brewing Co
- BUY YOUR
LUMBER
AT THE
Oregon Lumber Yard
Alta St., opp. Court House.
PRICES AS LOW AS THE LOWEST
For All Kinds of Building Mat octal,
mtiuuing
Doors
Windows
Screen Doors
and Windows
Building Paper
ume
Cement
Brick
and Sand
And Don't Forget Our Wood Qutter
m uams ana Dwellings
THE MINUTESTDETML
Doesn't eRra&e our notice when wi i
carriage. That 1b 'what makes our wotis
feet in this line. When you want jous
put in flrat-class order and made u
new bring It to
NEAQLE BROTHERS
Water St, near Main, Peadlrtti,!
T nnnti annn think of Msf !
advertising." John Wnnamibr. '
Another statement la: "Afl,
1illnir la th matt I i
Bultful compared to pnet tw
. J .1-1 l- Ik.
any otner auvenuuig m w-
t .t .
8 pace In the East oregocliaij
old at low rates.
SEE FOR YO!
Foor Inch Ad in the Dafly
Fact (Wrrmfen. One WetX
6 Times JW
Four Inch Ad in tk Weekly
East Oregonian-OneWetf. ,
1 Time, and tani-weeuy
I Time
Or a Four Inch Ad in Both
riniiv 3nrl WeMv and
Semi-Weekly, 6 Times in
Daily, 1 Time in wceiuy
and 1 -Time in Semi-Weekly,
Only 1
WHO CAN GIYEYC
A LOWER PRIC
FOR ADVERT
For a longer time or tot
apace the, ratca ore m tn "1
proportion. . uMi
Ads undir contract, "rjl
rates, but having cnoiw
tlon in paper, with change of off
without extra charge, aa otien
once a week. ,..,. .j-j.
Doing business without
tlslng la uko wiumuB kao'
girl in the dark. . You mw tej
what you are aoius, w
else does.
The East Oregonian's Teiepl
w tr 1 .1
is main
OK WHITE TO TB
EAST OREGON
Pendleton. Oregon
KEEP YOUR
Not on Pasco,
BUT ON
BYERS' GROVE
ADDITION
TO PENDLETON.
I still have Farms for Sale
1 UMBE
Gray's Harbor Co- q
- SUCCESSORS 10 -
A. C. SHAW!
Being one of the largest
uiactunng Vitl'' .il
sound are able to s -lumber
cheaper than
else. New lumber coj'j
every day. l',e ;nCiud
all kinds of boxes, i"
Apple, c
in. Berkeley
fun . I fl
THE REAL ESTATE mam
Bavlaga Bank Building, Pendleton, Or.
"' " luu.r in sniaw - ;
BY THE CA 11